-Internet Flows

The Number of The Beast: WWW

2020-02-17T02:05:00.001-05:00

The Number of The Beast: WWW

These descriptions assume a few things about biblical predictions:

1) They are describing future events from the point of view of someone in the past

2) The closer we get to these predictions the easier it should be to see what they really meant

The most fascinating & most quoted prediction tells of how to identify the beast:

Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

The manuscripts of the New Testament were written in Ancient Koine [common] Greek, or have been accurately translated from those Greek manuscripts into other languages.

If we try to look at different ways this numeral could be written:

χξς or χις [1]

έξι έξι έξι [2]

None of these forms look similar to anything in modern times. But if we look at Roman numerals we get:

VI VI VI [3]

Now if we assume this person from the past is trying to describe something it is seeing from our point of view then this could be:

Thus the closest description of WWW (the world wide web) for someone in the past is V/V/V/ or VI VI VI.

Of course this alone is a long reach but if we read what's before then it makes more sense:

15 And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.

16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. [4]

So the image of the beast can speak. The closest thing that can speak and is connected to the web are devices like Siri, Cortana, Google Assistant and Alexa

These devices are merely images though, so what we can expect is a more powerful AI device to be behind them. Maybe its address will be just "www".

Apparently in the future these devices will require a mark on the right hand or on the forehead to buy and sell. Which is already being tried in Sweden and by a company in Wisconsin, USA

Digital money would be the only way to enforce this setup and this too is also being explored in India

So there you have it, AI is the beast and the bible does agree with Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking. Perhaps it's time to listen!

Red Tide:

Another prediction that could be around the corner:

And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.

This has happened in small scale in Florida, USA and was called a red tide.

Thanks for reading!

In The Theater

2016-11-21T02:57:00.000-05:00

Don't Be Like John

2016-05-31T00:46:00.001-04:00

IL Douche

2016-03-11T22:50:00.005-05:00

Alley Cat & Space Cat

2015-04-11T19:21:00.002-04:00

The Poopie List

2015-02-25T21:31:00.000-05:00

Ghost Poopie - The kind where you feel the poopie

come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie - The kind where you poopie it out,

see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the

toilet paper.

Wet Poopie - The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwiped, so you have to put

some toilet paper between your butt and your

underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.

Second Wave Poopie - This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie - The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Poopie - The kind of poopie that is so

huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking

it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Gassy Poopie - It's so noisy, everyone within

earshot is giggling.

Corn Poopie - Self explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie - The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet & fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie - That's where it hurts so badly

coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie - (The power dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get

splashed with water.

Liquid Poopie - The kind where yellowish-brown

liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie - It smells so bad your nose burns.

Upper Class Poopie - The kind of poopie that doesn't smell.

The Suprise Poopie - You are not even at the toilet

because you are sure your about to fart, but

OOPS!- a poopie!

The Dangling Poopie - This poopie refuses to drop

into the toilet even though you know you are done

poopieing. You just pray that a shake or two will

cut it loose.

12 Quick Jokes

2015-02-20T22:21:00.001-05:00

1. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

2. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

4. Two antennas walk into a bar, fall in love, get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

6. Two cows walk into a bar, Daisy cow says to Dolly cow:
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!", exclaimed Daisy.

7. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

8. A bull walks into a bar and the bartender gets a Deja Moo: The feeling he's heard this bull before.

9. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says:
"I'm going to have to put him down."

"What!!??, because he's cross-eyed???"
"No, because he's really heavy."

10. An invisible man walks into a bar and meets an invisible woman. They get married. The kids were nothing to look at either.

11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

12. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, he just waved.

Math and Women

2015-01-09T18:33:00.001-05:00

Marketing in female terms

2015-01-06T15:17:00.001-05:00

People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:

You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
and say

"I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One
of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says

"She's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say

"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed,"

That's Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him
and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his
tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say,

"By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says

"I hear you're fantastic in bed"

That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk
him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof
of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs

"I'm fantastic in bed!"

That's Junk Mail.

Two Italian Immigrants

2014-12-29T16:47:00.001-05:00

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit

down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first,

but her attention is galvanized when she hears

one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine", retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady". said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?"

'I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella "Mississippi".'

BET YA READ IT TWICE!!

Pantyhose

2014-08-17T14:55:00.006-04:00

Question: How many animals can you fit into a pair of Pantyhose???

Answer: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares, possibly some crabs, and a fish no one can find.

Poor Skippy

2014-08-08T00:58:00.001-04:00

A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family, and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog which had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice:

"Skippy!"

The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled:

"Dammit Skippy!"

Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later, the woman had to let another one rip. This time, she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled:

"Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"

A Manager & An Engineer

2014-08-02T22:02:00.002-04:00

A man flying in a hot-air balloon realized he was lost. He spotted a man on the ground and reduced altitude until he was within shouting range.

"Excuse me," he shouted, "Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below responded, "Yes, you are in a hot-air balloon, hovering approximately thirty feet above me. You are between 51 and 52 degrees North latitude and between 0 and 1 degrees West longitude."

"You must be an engineer," responded the balloonist.

"I am," the man replied, "How did you know?"

"Well," said the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."

Whereupon the man on the ground responded, "You must be a manager."

"That I am," replied the balloonist, "But how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

Never swear at Mom

2014-07-30T01:23:00.002-04:00

Two brothers, one five years old and the other 4 years old, were talking upstairs in their bedroom.....

"You know what?" says the 5 year old,

"I think it's about time we start swearing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say 'hell' and you say 'ass' OK?"

"OK!" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast.

"Ah hell Mom, I guess I'll have some cheerios."

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. The mother looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice:

"And what do you want for breakfast young man?"

"I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be cheerios."

The Gogh Family

2014-07-24T00:59:00.001-04:00

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:

His dizzy aunt ........................................Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes .................. Gotta Gogh

The constipated uncle ........................... Cant Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store ............................................................. Stopn Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia ............... U Gogh

The cousin from Illinois ....................... Chica Gogh

His magician uncle .................... Wherediddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin ............................. Amee Gogh

The American half brother .................... Grin Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt ..................... Tan Gogh

A sister who loved disco .......................... Go Gogh

The bird lover uncle ........................... Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst .......................... E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin ........................... Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking...Wayto Gogh

The little bouncy nephew ....................... Poe Gogh

And his niece who drives a van... Winnie Bay Gogh

The Compassionate CEO

2014-07-20T23:39:00.003-04:00

One afternoon, a wealthy company CEO was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then," instructed the CEO.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two children!"

"Bring them along!" replied the CEO. He turned to the other man and said "Come with us."

"But sir, I have a wife and six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!" answered the CEO as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says:

"Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The CEO replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot tall."

Random Animated GIFs

2014-07-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

Random Smileys & Cartoons

2014-07-10T01:05:00.001-04:00

Birth of a product

2014-07-07T09:18:00.001-04:00

Lines from Star Wars improved with the word "pants"

2014-07-04T00:47:00.003-04:00

001 I find your lack of pants disturbing.

002 You are unwise to lower your pants.

003 Your pants, you will not need them.

004 Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

005 The Force is strong in my pants.

006 I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

007 You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

008 In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering.

009 Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants.

010 I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.

011 A disturbance in the pants. I have not felt this since near my old master...

012 Pull up! All pants pull up!

013 I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!

014 That blast came from the pants! That thing's operational!

015 Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an imperial cruiser.

016 I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of our pants forever.

017 Alderan is peaceful, we have no pants!

018 These aren't the pants you're looking for.

019 The pants will be down in moments, sir, you can begin your landing.

020 Looks like someone's beginning to take an interest in your pants.

021 "I want them alive. No pants." -Vader

022 Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

023 Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your pants.

024 Your pants can deceive you, don't trust them.

025 I am altering the pants. Pray that I don't alter them any further.

026 Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

027 Luke, help me take my pants off. -(dying) Darth Vader

028 "Don't do that, my pants are dirty." "My pants are dirty, too."

029 The Pants are what gives a Jedi his power.

030 Away with your pants, I mean you no harm!

031 Search your pants, you know it to be true.

032 I'm taking Captain Solo ... and his pants.

033 Will somebody please get this walking carpet out of my pants!

034 Han'll have those pants down - we've gotta give him more time!

035 He is most displeased with your apparent lack of pants.

036 You are part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor. Take her pants!

037 I'm not in this for your revolution, I'm in it for the pants.

038 Look at the size of those pants!

039 Tell that to Jabba. If you're lucky he might only take your pants.

040 We've got to get a reading on those pants, Up or Down.

041 It appears you are to be the main course at a banquet in my pants.

042 So long ago, when all we had was our love. No politics, no plotting, no pants.

043 There's no mystical energy field that controls my pants.

044 I don't think the Empire had wookiees in mind when they designed pants.

045 The emperor asks the impossible. I need more pants.

046 And I thought pants smelled bad . . . on the OUTSIDE. Ahh!

047 Curse my metal pants.

048 I felt a great disturbance in the Pants.

049 General Tarkin, I thought I recognized your foul pants...

050 Judge me by my pants, do you?

051 I only hope that when the pants are analyzed a weakness can be found.

052 Search your pants, Luke. You know it's true.

053 See through pants, we can.

054 The pants can have a strong influence on weak minds.

055 Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those pants!

056 Have you been in many pants?

057 You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark.

058 The more you tighten your pants, the more star systems will slip through...

059 Yeah, well droids aren't known for ripping pants off when they lose!

060 I seek an audience with your greatness to bargain for Solo's pants.

061 Jabba please take these pants as a token of friendship.

062 Only now...in my pants...do you understand.

063 Though I never thought I would be smuggling pants.

064 You can waste time with your pants when your chores are done.

065 Your father wanted you to have pants when you were old enough.

066 A tremor in the Pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.

067 We have no choice, our pants can't repel firepower of that magnitude.

068 "Great pants kid! Don't get cocky!"

069 Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your pants.

070 "I happen to like nice pants."

071 Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's pants, Lord Vader.

072 Emperor: You have paid the price for your lack of pants!

073 Yeah well, short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

074 Take care of your pants, Han. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it.

075 "You know of the rebellion?" "That's how we came to be in your pants sir"

076 15!?! We can almost buy our own pants for that!

077 Commander, tear these pants apart until you've found those plans.

078 Rear pants down... Argh!!!

079 Yeah, I just got a funny feeling. Like I'm never gonna see my pants again.

080 I used to bullseye womp rats in my pants back home.

081 Leia: I love pants. Han: I know.

082 Put Captain Solo in the cargo pants.

083 Remember your failure in the pants.

084 The pants are down! Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor.

085 Yahoo! You're all clear kid. Now let's blow these pants and go home!

086 "Slimey? My pants this is." -Yoda

087 "Evacuate?! In our pants of triumph?"

088 Be mindful of your pants Anakin. They'll betray you.

089 I've got a bad feeling in my pants about this.

090 I sense a great disturbance in the pants.

091 "Your overconfidence is your weakness." "Your faith in your pants is yours!"

092 Bounty hunters ... we don't need their pants.

093 Chewie, pants won't help me!

094 Fear will keep the other systems in line--fear of these pants.

095 In my experience, there is no such thing as pants.

096 Attention. This is Lando Calrisien. The Empire has taken control of my pants. I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

097 No I don't think he likes pants at all. No I don't like pants either.

098 Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your Highness.

099 That's funny... the pants don't look as bad from out here.

100 The last time I felt it was in the pants of my old master.

101 The pants go off in this direction.

102 You don't believe in pants, do you?

103 You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your pants.

104 Bury your pants deep down, Luke. They could be made to serve the emperor.

105 Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your sister!

106 Tell them if they don't do as you ask you will become angry and use your pants.

107 Your pants can deceive you, Luke.

108 "But I was gonna' go down to Toshi Station to pick up some power pants!

109 At Last, we will have our pants.

110 She must have hidden the pants in the escape pod.

111 Sir, my first job was programming binary pants lifters.

112 Someone WAS in the pants.

113 This little one's not worth the effort. Come, let me get you some pants.

114 Threepio: It's against my programming to wear pants.

115 "Pants, Luke, Pants!"

116 She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, commander.

117 These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

118 These pants contain the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it.

119 General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

120 TK-41... Why aren't you in your pants?

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes

2014-06-30T01:09:00.001-04:00

Chinese in 5 minutes...You MUST read them out loud

1) That's not right ......................... Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive? .. Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP ............................... Kum Hia Nao

5) Small Horse ................................... Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach? ........... Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a coffee table .... Ai Bang Mai Ni

8) I think you need a face lift ............. Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here ..................... Wao So Dim

10) You're on a diet ................ Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone ............... No Pah King

12) Our meeting is not today ...... Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight ....................... Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile ....... Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive ....... Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great ..................................................... Su Pah

The Missing Dollar

2014-06-21T03:13:00.002-04:00

Three men go into a motel. The man behind the desk says the room is $30, so each man paid $10 and went to the room.

A while later the man behind the desk realized the room was only $25, so he sent the bellboy to the three guys' room with $5.

On the way the bellboy couldn't figure out how to split $5 evenly among 3 men, so he gave each man $1 and kept the other $2 for himself.

This means each of the 3 men paid $9 for the room, which is a total of $27, add the $2 that the bellboy kept = $29

WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR???????????

The gender of objects

2014-06-17T23:52:00.003-04:00

You may not know everyday objects have a gender, for example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Art that plays with your head

2014-06-08T23:56:00.001-04:00

Fear and Loathing in Facebook

2014-06-02T02:47:00.002-04:00

There are many people out there running around like chickens with their heads cut off, panicking about Corporate Big Brother sniffing up their internet butts.

It's worse now because there are employers out there who think it is perfectly OK to ask you for your Facebook password in their interviewing process:

'Alarmed and Outraged': Your Facebook Privacy

As we all know, Corporate Big Brother wants to make sure his employees are good little mindless drones. You know, symmetrical sprockets to be coupled into his machinery without a cinch. He loves double standards and is super anal like that --even when Corporate Big Brother might be cheating on his wife with the secretary and/or swindling millions from other people.

Yet here we are, with our party attitude, throwing the middle finger, and getting wasted because that's just more fun to do.

Well fear no more my friend. I gots me some good advice here for ya!

Take a lesson from Corporate Big Brother: Learn to keep your social life separate from your professional life DUH!!!

Yes you must do this EVEN IN THE INTERNET.

Unless of course, you're the type of employee who can go up to his/her boss and say "Hey there, let's go to lunch. I'll show you how drunk I got last night. I got so many pictures you're going to love. I may have said bad stuff about you, but nothing I don't say to your face already"

Now that's what I call a great job, but that's not true for everyone :-)

So for those of you afraid of being crushed by the teeth of the corporate world:

Create a "professional profile" with what you want an employer to find and use it to keep in touch with your professional contacts. Dump all your info there 'cause that's what you want your Corporate Big Brother to find. Your date of birth, your sign, your dog's name, favorite golf club, etc. All this info ALONG WITH YOUR PROFESSIONAL EMAIL:

John.Smith@What.is.thy.bidding.my.master.com

Create a "social profile" which only your friends can see. I doubt an employer is going to look for "MC Peepants" sucking on a bottle of cheap beer. Of course, USE YOUR REGULAR EMAIL:

MC_Peepants@budweiser.com

If this is too much work, keep Facebook for professional use only and another site as a social site. That's another way of doing it.

Just like in real life, use common sense. You don't show your mooning pictures to your boss and you don't show your expense report to your drinking buddy. Neither one gives a rat's butt about that.

THE END