One of the things I always remeber when I think about funny video game moments is something from Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link on the NES. One of the towns you walk into there is a girl that you can talk to. What does she say? “I know nothing.” LOL…typical woman…yeah I said it.

Anyways, there are a lot of good videos on the subject so I figured I would post a couple for you to look at while I go unwrap my Ferrari parts.

Now don’t get me wrong. I STILL to this day DO NOT believe he molested any kids. Inappropriate situations? Certainly, but I highly doubt he molested those kids. The evidence doesn’t show he did IMO, and I’m going to stick to it. So…I WILL NOT be posting any jokes that refer to him as a child molester since I don’t believe it to be true, and therefore, not lulzworthy.

So…if I don’t believe he did that what is there to actually joke about? Come on now. MJ was an odd fellow. Extravagant to the EXTREME. Are there jokes in there? Oh yeah there are.

Michael Jackson may be the strangest and saddest story in entertainment ever told. This guy had a hellish childhood off the stage like many other child stars. Abuse, and lack of childhood turned him into a very odd person as an adult.

Jackson is fascinating as a psychological study on the same level as what a serial killer would be IMO. Did I just call him a serial killer? Get your head out of your ass. No I DID NOT. Many of the things he did make his mind as intriguing as trying to figure out why serial killers did what they did.

This guy went from being black to being so white he was practically transparent. What brings a man to do this? Not happy with himself obviously, but really how do you get to this point? Not only the “whitening”, but he turned into an unrecognizable human in the last decade. HE turned himself into a ghoul. What kind of disorder could possibly do this to a man? You would think that he’d need a Morristown personal injury lawyer after all these surgeries. No one could possibly do this to themselves.

I saw an interesting interview a couple days ago that suggested he saw his father in his face so much that he did all of this to get rid of the resemblance. Now that is a great theory, however it is just a theory. We really don’t understand this man as a person in any way. I like to think that he had a HUGE heart. Loved so much that he couldn’t help it, but couldn’t ever love himself.

OK…so I said I was going to post some jokes, but as I was writing this I didn’t really want to anymore. This story just makes me too sad to make fun of it.

BUT…

Since I do like to laugh, and you are going to just come on here and call him a pedophile, and probably rehash some jokes in the comments that I have heard 121244132123 times…I may as well just give you a link to MJ jokes to tide you over. Like I said I don’t think he molested kids so I don’t find those jokes funny in any way. If you post them it will not get a laugh out of me.

Someone tried to cash in on his death immediately and bought this domain:

http://www.deadmichaeljacksonjokes.com/

Site is gone already. Amazing. Either that or the coder is trying to fix it. It wasn’t working properly when I went there the first time so maybe it will be back eventually. It had plenty to keep your hateful, angry heart full of fire for the time being.

Oh well…you know how to use Google.

UPDATE: That site was fixed. The creep running it was just fixing the format because he blew it the first time it appears. Enjoy.

This video is one of my favorite performances from him. Billie Jean Live done in 2001 for a 30th anniversary special for him on CBS. Just shows how big he really was when you see the people in the crowd. He had the same effect that Elvis and the Beatles managed to produce on their fans. Herded them in like they were getting cattle supplies and made them fail to control themselves. Nobody could have pulled this off besides him. The video quality isn’t great, but just listening to his music alone doesn’t do him justice IMO. Need to see him dancing too.

This old Jackson 5 tune is also one of my favorite songs, I Want You Back. Here is an old clip with Bill Cosby doing some comedy for the intro.

The video follows an average American couple through their day and all the mazing technology that we have today! Also, it shows how we live in a world of magic happy pills that make everything better. I do’t believe the woman int he video has discovered adiet pill that works, however.

Also, if you go to the site you can see that stupidity has not yet left the human race. You will see comments from such morons that state that the video is “fake”. They clearly are the kind of people that you wish you knew in real life so that you could scam them. Some seem pretty upset about the tagline as well calling it a “fraud”.

The Astounding World of the Future!
Tag line (A little misleading): A funny mid-20th century newsreel featuring amazingly accurate predictions of the year 2000.

I would post all the game controls, but it would just be a waste of time since each character has their own special moves. On the main screen after the intro it has a link for “Instructions” and you can look at all the moves for each character individually. They also have Mortal Kombat style finishing moves from what I can ell, but I have yet to pull one off (I didn’t try too hard. I had to find some new auto insurance and was wasting time…lol)

What an idiot.

Anyways if you don’t remember the video here it is. This is actually about a minute longer. An uncut satellite feed. Weird actually since it shows the Unibomber as the “amateur sketch”…LOL

He got the tattoo of the amateur sketch…LOL

There have been many remakes, remixes, and spoofs of this video ever since it was aired and put on Youtube back in 2006. It has been 3 years already!

It spawned the site Where Da Gold At? that actually sells t-shirts and other crap. Pretty much anything Leprechaun related except maybe cheap term life insurance for leprechauns.

Here was the follow up to the Leprechaun shown about a year later:

Here is a remix of I Want Da Gold:

LOL @ this spoof from college kids. So bad…LMAO

Eventually he gets the right angle, but his prank doesn’t exactly work the way he wants it to…

It’s a “dirty” Mother Lover song about 2 guys that forgot to give their mothers a Mother’s Day gift because they were out partyiing all night at a Sahara hotel or something.

The song is performed by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samburg with special appearances by Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clark as “The Moms”.

Mother Lover SNL (uncensored)

It will get deleted eventually, but you can at least listen to it here for now.

These guys teamed up earlier with the song “Dick in a Box” as well.

Why honey, you look…OH MY GOD!!!!

Girl shows crotch in yearbook

Yes…that is a real pic, and no her hoo ha doesn’t look like a fuzzy blob. Well at least I don’t think it does. Anyways, I am not going to post the unedited image of it anyways because well…I’m just not OK? She’s 16 and I have enough problems ;).

A 16-year-old girl in Florida has stopped going to school out of embarrassment after a yearbook picture was published with her giving a free look to all the boys.

The junior at Sickles High School says she found out about the picture Monday after seniors received their yearbooks.

The picture shows the girl sitting in the front row, wearing a green dress. She admits she didn’t wear any underwear on the day of the photo. She says she didn’t want any panty lines. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

The girl says that she is humiliated, and will not being going back to school ever again and probably take a permanent cruise from America since she will never live it down. Poor girl. Riiiight. No panties in high school? Get real. She knew…lol

You know what that means right? She will be a stripper in a couple years.

Oh BTW…this pic was for the Pottery Club. Jokes too many…

Look at the amazing technology from the 80’s!

“V” was a 2-part mini-series that aired in 1983 on ABC. “V” did stand for “The Visiters” according to whatever sci-fi geek I saw talking about it on some website.

Here’s the Wiki Plot Summary real quick:

“A race of aliens arrive on Earth in a fleet of 50 huge, saucer-shaped motherships, which hover over major key cities across the world. They reveal themselves on the roof of the United Nations building in New York City, appearing human but requiring special glasses to protect their eyes and having a distinctive resonance to their voices. Simply referred to as the Visitors, they reach out in friendship, ostensibly seeking the help of humans to obtain chemicals and minerals needed to aid their ailing world. In return, the Visitors promise to share their advanced technology with humanity. The governments of Earth accept the arrangement, and the Visitors, commanded by their leader John and his deputy Diana, begin to gain considerable influence with human authorities.” (Click the link if you really want more. )

So…eventually these visitors start to show signs they aren’t human and the people get all up in arms over it and some douchey bad ass and his hot girlfriend, or maybe just some hot girl (for the time) decide to do something about it. The guy is some reporter and finds out that the aliens are reptiles or something and pees in his pants.

Eventually all is well and everything is happy and everyone is cool with the aliens and they have a big alien lizard orgy. At least that is how I remember it.

You can watch the entire thing if you want on Youtube, or Google Video. Is it short? No no no. It’s long? Yeah yeah yeah. It’s not good? No no no. It’s bad? Yeah yeah yeah.