Internetiquette with Ms. Madge(rs)

The Back Handed Compliment

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 15:24:00 +0000

Moose and Zee Centerpiece Pinterest by Amy Bowerman of Plucking Daisies Designs

The following is a public conversation relating to a repin of the above project on Pinterest.

Jodie Casal
Moose and Zee Centerpiece....remaking this....but better...we'll see...
Repinned from Plucking Daisies Designs by Amy Bowerman

Amy Bowerman
I see that you are new to Pinterest...generally we do not insult another artists work here. I pin my work to inspire others...not to be ridiculed.

Jodie Casal
I'm sorry Amy, I'm kind of a smart ass, I didn't mean to insult you at all. I thought it was cute...which I why I stole YOUR idea.

Jodie Casal
I was insinuating that if it was re-done, after the first time, it would be even better. Regardless of who redid it. It's adorable!

Michelle Petryszyn
Well Amy I think everyones opinion is there opinion and if you knew Jodie you would realize she wouldn't insult or ridicule you !!! Relax!!!

Good...grief. Where to begin...

Rudeness comes in many forms. Sometimes rudeness is blatant and loud, like a nasty comment with no artifice of civility or decorum. Then there is the second and in Ms. Madge(rs) humble opinion, more insidious kind of passive-aggressive rudeness often referred to as 'the back handed compliment.'

This second variety almost always stems from a place of insecurity. Why else would one both compliment and insult simultaneously? Oh look, someone had a great idea first, why how dare they have that great idea I would obviously have had given time. I am going to tell them it is a great idea, but make it clear that my version of that great idea would have been vastly superior.

Oh my little green eyed monster, you are a nasty beast indeed.

Jealousy is a valid human emotion and Ms. Madge(rs) has found herself overcome by it on numerous occasions. She has, however, learned to keep her dirty little thoughts to herself. You may have done it better had you the foresight to have the idea first although looking at the two finished designs (here is a link to Jodie's version) I am not convinced your argument holds water. The plain truth is, you did not have the idea first, therefore the point, my dear, is moot. Perhaps a reflection on your Pinterest 'faith' board will remind you to follow the golden rule and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Excusing rude behavior by denying it or rationalizing it is not a valid excuse. You can't rewrite reality.

Then to add insult to virtual injury, you recreated the project changing it only slightly and posted it without credit to the originator.

Wow.

On rare occasion Ms. Madge(rs) is speechless. This is one of them.

But I will leave you with this thought, "My Religion is Kindness." The 14th Dalai Lama

xoxo
Ms. Madge(rs)

(NOTE: the images in the projects are under the copyright of Nickelodeon. Be very careful using copyright protected images in your designs and always clearly specify FOR PERSONAL USE. You can not use copyright protected images and resell them, even if you've redrawn them. Just ask anyone who has been sued by Disney.)

Butt Fabulous!

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:28:00 +0000

This design graced the catwalk of the Craft, Hobby and Stitch Show in the UK yesterday. It was met with much acclaim and one rather glaring insult left on the wall of the manufacturer for whom the design was created. Enter Ms. Madge(rs)!

Gail Weston Clapp: It's butt ugly!

My Dear Gail:

Firstly, I applaud your laser like ability to get right to the point. Why tip toe around in order to spare the feelings of others? Just blurt out whatever random thought crosses your mind.

This food sucks! You are stupid! That dress is ugly! I hate you! You smell like cabbage!

What a fun, carefree world it would be if we could just say it out loud, every last wicked little thought! Hooray!

Alas, at least for the time being, we live in a world where it is considered impolite to blurt out every random thought that crosses our mind. This prevents us from hurting feelings unnecessarily. Do we have to like everything, of course not. Do we have to compliment things we do not like, absolutely not. But if our thoughts are not constructive or thoughtful, we keep those thoughts to ourselves, particularly when we are in a public forum. Civility, kindness, courtesy and compassion matter, deeply.

So perhaps, Gail, in the future, you might reflect upon the feelings of the person on the other side of that computer screen before typing enter. Think about how you might feel if that person typed something cruel about your creations on the internet. Then hit delete.

It is the civil thing to do.

And for the record, Ms. Madge(rs) is blessed with a pert, perky and pleasing posterior. Therefore she and her creations are, in point of fact, butt fabulous. Your comment, however, is just plain ugly.

Cheekily yours,
Ms. Madge(rs)

An Unsatisfying Review

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:26:00 +0000

"Amazon Book Review
The Hunger Games
Debbie R.

I have read many books..a lot of different topics and plots. This Book after reading one chapter is going to join the dumpster.
I had to force myself to read one chapter and could not "get into" the book AT ALL

I would highly recommend you read some of this book before purchasing it. I did not like it at all and I can't say that about many books.

Not good."

Dear Debbie

Firstly let me congratulate you on being an avid reader, that's commendable indeed. I'm sensing by the overall tone of your review that you did not like this book. Am I correct in this assumption? It must have been positively dreadful for you to be compelled to throw your hands up into the air and toss this apparent drivel into the trash (or as you so creatively put it, send this book to "join the dumpster.")

I'm not sure what they'll do together, but you never know what a book and a dumpster might contrive given a little quality time.

As Ms. Madge(rs) has yet to succumb to the Hunger Games fever that has swept the world and even impacted members of her own household, she can not speak to the quality of writing or content. As you read only a single chapter before giving up the ghost, it follows that you may not be qualified to speak to these things either. In fact, I am unclear as to exactly why you did not like the book, which is the actual point of writing a review. Debbie, what was it about this book that you did not like-was it the writing, the characters, the plot, the font, the cover? Inquiring minds wish to know.

Ms. Madge(rs) is sorry to say that she did not enjoy reading your review because it lacked substance. She also does not like mayonnaise, elevator music or sunburns and would, upon request, be delighted to elaborate.

To each her own, but I'm afraid I can not "get into" this review at all.

Cheers,
Ms. Madge(rs)

It's Real Simple...Be Nice on the Internet

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 16:06:00 +0000

REAL SIMPLE KICKS OFF THE FIRST-EVER

“BE NICE ON THE INTERNET” WEEK

JANUARY 9-13, 2012

Ms. Madge(rs) was positively delighted when informed that the fine folks from Real Simple are launching a week long celebration of online civility in their Be Nice on the Internet Week campaign from January 9-13. If you'd like to be part of the fun, follow this link to their site. Perhaps these winds of positivity will help sweep the nasty internet trolls right back under the bridges from whence they crawled. Now that's a lovely thought, isn't it?

At the very least, Gentle Reader, we can, each of us, become a beacon for the power of spreading good cheer and showing others that it is possible to express criticism with compassion. We don't have to like everything, but as the old (and still apt adage) says, "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all." And, Ms. Madge(rs) would add, "If you feel compelled to say something anyway, be thoughtful, concise and most of all...kind."

On that uplifting note, Ms. Madge(rs) bids you a most delightful snarky comment free day. Huzzah!

Cheers,
Ms. Madge(rs)

The War on Civility

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:44:00 +0000

Nothing like a Santa with good right hook.

Ms. Madge(rs) is here today to comment on a variety of angry threads that have been appearing around the interwebs recently in regards to the seasonal greeting "Happy Holidays."

Gentle Reader,

If someone wishes you 'Happy Holidays', the proper response is a heartfelt and cheerful, "Thank you!", not a snarky, self righteous, lengthy and factually challenged lecture nor a snippy passive-aggressive response inserting your holiday of choice into the equation.

In point of fact, whether they wish you Cool Yule, Swingin' Solstice, Happy Hannukah, Fabulous Festivus, Merry Christmas, Kickin' Kwanzaa, Saucy Saturnalia, Seasons Greetings, Delightful Non-Denominational Celebration of the Winter Season...the appropriate reply is yet again a heartfelt and cheerful, "Thank you!"

One should not impose their holiday viewpoints upon unsuspecting friendly greeters nor lecture them on the apparent evils of the imaginary War on Christmas. That is entirely antithetical to the gracious and joyful nature of the season. Ms. Madge(rs) is quite certain that the real war here is the one on basic civility. She remains hopeful that we can eventually triumph over it by simply remembering the Golden Rule.

No matter what you celebrate this time of year, Ms. Madge(rs) hopes it is splendiferous, spectacular and stress free.

Love
Ms. M

Astute on Etsy

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:40:00 +0000

Today's miserable message in a bottle was sent via private conversation on Etsy to jewelry artist Jennifer VanBenschoten of Van Beads in refererence to her The Color and Shape Bead Embroidered Necklace.

"about your necklace are you seriously charging that much !!! i saw one idetical (sp) but with jade and it was only $50 your price is ridicolous (sp) besides a kid could make this minus the edging around the pietersite."

My Dear Anon

Firstly let me congratulate you on your astute observation. Why yes, a kid could make this...minus the considerable, pain staking, time consuming and quite frankly, gorgeous beaded cabochon work. Why perhaps with a little sensory deprivation and endless hours spent locked in a hot, dark room each day, a kid could pump these puppies out (minus the edging) by the dozens for pennies.

Oh but wait! They do, it's called slave labor!

Unfortunately for you, it was banned in this country over a hundred years ago, after those problematic nimble fingered children kept getting in factory accidents and losing said aforementioned fingers rendering themselves absolutely useless to society. Don't despair, there are plenty of children in other countries working for pennies, so all hope is not lost.

Your other equally astute observation is also correct, jade does cost much less than Pietersite! What would have possessed Jennifer to use a more expensive and rare material in her work and then have the audacity to charge you for her hours of labor, her designer eye, the cost of her materials, her time spent photographing the piece and uploading the pictures and information to Etsy and then expect to make a profit? Really? It is baffling indeed.

Yes, Anon, that was sarcasm.

Go forth, ye, dollars tightly clutched in your fist and seek these cheaply made, low quality, child crafted goods! Away!

Sarcastically yours,
Ms. Madge(rs)

Sometimes a Poppy...is Just a Poppy.

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:20:00 +0000

Seed Bead Artist Kerrie Slade Lurks Among Flowers That May Harbor Alternate Meanings

Today's snarky internet comment hails from the United Kingdom and was deposited on the website of seed bead master artist Kerrie Slade. Kerrie sells a variety of seed bead patterns on her site, one is a stunning poppy themed pin. Because the poppy is a symbol for Remembrance Day in the UK, according to the mysterious 'J', they are therefore banned from any other decorative use.

"I was wondering if any of the money you make from your poppy tutorial go (sp) to the Royal British Legion. After all you live in this country so you are well aware of the implications of the symbol of a poppy. It is NOT a fashion statement to e (sp) made into a profit for your own gain. A gain you have been able to have off the backs of all the men and womeb(sp) who fought for your freedom to have rights." 'J'

Ah 'J', nothing is quite as refreshing as a generous dose of sanctimony peppered liberally with self righteous indignation. Kudos to you on your thorough chastising of someone whom you have never met. I am sure you have donated generously to the RBL, yes? Would you care to show us your receipts? It only follows that if we're demanding proof, you should be willing to step up to the plate. Or at the very least reveal your full name.

Here is a classic illustration of what occurs when one assumes.

Yes, you make an ass of u and me. Or actually u make an ass of you and Kerrie, but assukerrie lacks...something.

A private email might have revealed that Kerrie has generously donated her talents to many, many causes over the years. Kerrie herself suffers from a chronic medical condition about which she rarely speaks. She is charitable and she is kind and to add insult to virtual injury, her aforementioned Poppy pattern has been stolen and is now being offered for free on the internet.

Is it possible, 'J', that you are the culprit? Hmmm...

Though I appreciate that the poppy has other meanings in the UK, sometimes my dear, a poppy is just a poppy.

And if not, someone really should tell Georgia O'Keefe.

Respectfully yours,
Ms. Madge(rs)

Sarcasm Came Out, Who Knew?!

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 16:59:00 +0000

Today's cheerful comment comes from my I Do, YuDu video on YouTube. Nothing I have ever posted online has elicited so many snarky comments. I had no idea screenprinting was so ripe with controversy.

"Denver Matt says:

Sarcasm comes out as stupidity on video."

My Dear Denver Matt

Your artfully constructed sentence shows you to be a man of great intellect. How delightful to have you grace my YouTube page. Huzzah!

I was not aware that sarcasm had come out! What fun! Hooray for sarcasm! I must get it a card to celebrate!

I look forward with bated breath to your next insightful witticism.

Sincerely, no, really,
Ms. Madge(rs)

The Repeat Offender

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:55:00 +0000

This is a response to a comment on "Play Nice" on The Impatient Crafter blog. Upon further investigation via Lord Google, I discovered Margie Cansino has been posting nasty comments on a variety of blogs. Here is another chestnut at Ask Harriette. Apparently Margie has something rather ugly she needs to get off of her chest, poor dear.

"You are so big and above it all, especially to think it is your place to re-mind us, your followers. I find it insulting.

Have you ever considered where bitterness may come from? Maybe there are people who are broken and bitter from life's hard knocks, finiancial distaster, abuse, death, lack of love.

Not all people have it as easy as you, I guess.

Margie Cansino"

My Dear Margie

Do excuse me while I pour myself a Dom Perignon Mimosa on the deck of my luxury yacht while gazing thoughtfully across the Caribbean. Ah, the good life. I must admit, having it easy is a pure delight.

The real question is, have you considered where your bitterness comes from and why you feel so compelled to spread it about like Johnny Crappleseed? Having endured life's hard knocks does not give one a special pass on basic civility, though for the record if you've endured death you are no longer obligated nor able to be civil nor bitter nor connected to the internet for that matter.

Why not take this passion you have for defending the bitter and put it towards assisting them in navigating their difficulties? Perhaps you, my dearest Margie, might become a vociferous champion for the downtrodden and abused. I suggest you begin with dumping out the pitcher of haterade you've been pouring around the internet and whip up a batch of something more palatable.

I raise my mimosa to that thought.

Cheers,
Ms. Madge(rs)

To Pierce...Or Not to Pierce...

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 14:07:00 +0000

From Beading Arts Blog:

"UGH!!! SOME DAY BODY PIERCERS
WILL REGRET THEIR STUPIDTY.

TATTOOED PEOPLE WILL HAVE THE SAME REGRETS.

YOUR BODYS ARE BEAUTIFUL
ENOUGH/

BET"

Dear Bet

To pierce, or not to pierce...that is the question! Though it seems you've answered it for everyone with a resounding NO! How thoughtful of you!

Ah, what a wonderful world it would be if caps lock and conviction could force the teaming masses to act, think and adorn themselves to your specifications. Alas and alack, such a world exists only in the comfortable confines of limited imaginations.

It is perhaps a primal instinct to decorate the blank canvas of the human body and one many simply can not ignore. A tattoo here, a piercing there, a bead, bauble or artfully placed bangle...what harm is there, really, in such simple pleasures? Even clothing is a form of decoration and one can assume you sport some form of body covering, unless perhaps you prefer to prance about in a glorious state of naked abandon, Bet! Good for you! Saves money and it's far better for the environment. More people should seriously consider the benefits of nudity.

Yet, no matter what we choose, the fact is, we get to do so for ourselves.

'Ay, there's the rub' my dear.

To quote the immortal Ronald Isley:
"It's your thing. Do whatcha wanna do."

Adorningly yours,
Ms. Madge(rs)

A Sad Little Comment

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 13:50:00 +0000

(Paint Chip Art and Bird on a Branch Napkins from The Big Ass Book of Home Decor by Mark Montano Copyright 2010)

Amazon Review: The Big-Ass Book of Home Decor: More Than 100 Inventive Projects for Cool Homes Like Yours (Paperback)

Read it, want to pass it on to someone who likes to make schlock from items they found at the dollar store. Sad little items that no one else wants.

Dauten's Disciple, "Jan"

Ms. Madge(rs) Reply:

My Dearest “Jan”

Complete sentences, at the very least, require the use of a noun and a verb, good design requires the ability to see the possibility even in impossible things. The genius of Mark Montano is that he can take something you or I might casually toss away, and turn it into something beautiful. Some among us like to infuse their environment with whimsy and joy. Some among us like the challenge of turning items we find at thrift stores, yard sales, dollar stores, craft chains, flea markets, hardware stores and road side trash piles into one of a kind uniquely fabulous works of art. It is apparent that you are not one of them. It is also apparent that you are the sad one here, and that is something that can not be fixed by home décor or thoughtlessly tapping off a nasty book review. In fact, when we are miserable people intent on spreading our misery, the scenery all begins to look the same wherever we go.

To each her own, my dear. I believe the mall is calling, run and buy some mass produced goods, quickly before they run out!

Joyfully yours,
Ms. Madge(rs) on behalf of
Mark Montano

(Ah yes, "Jan", I can see how the projects in this book could make you sad, with their vibrant colors and chic sensibilities, like the two above.)

A Vary Bad Review

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:04:00 +0000

Today's post comes from an Amazon review for the book The Impatient Beader Gets Inspired: A Crafty Chick's Guide to Instant Inspiration by Margot Potter.

One Star
A Vary Bad Beading Book
The projects shown are made with cheap material and have nothing sparkling or glamorous. They are for little girls. The technique is mostly stringing. I do not recommend this book.

Aviva

Ms. Madge(rs) responds:

This is a craft book and is certainly is not just about stringing. What it is about, is learning to see the world like an artist through using inspirational items to create interesting designs from affordable materials. No, this is not a fine jewelry book, but it doesn't pretend to be one. It is for girls (of all ages who have a sense of fun and humor), but apparently it is not for you. For that, I'm sorry.

Please let us all know when your book debuts. I anxiously await this publication.

Yours
Ms. Madge(rs)

(Above is a design from the book, as you can see it is neither sparkling nor glamorous as it is composed almost entirely of SWAROVSKI ELEMENTS.)

The Bold and the Tactless

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:16:00 +0000

Dear Jean:
If you’re running an anti-aging site, how come you look so old?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Thank you for your insightful comment. The short answer is that I ‘look old’, because I am, as are you my dear, inching second by second, minute by minute, day by day, year by year towards the twilight years. Who better to share their experience in seeking the ever elusive elixir of youth than one who is currently on the journey? The good news for me is that there is new research emerging on a daily basis into ever more effective ways of achieving a more youthful countenance. Unfortunately, being rude is a condition that is far less easy to cure. I wish you the best of luck with that. Perhaps you should consider visiting Tactless-Trollies.com to find yourself among those with whom you share more commonalities.

Sincerely yours,
Miss Madge(rs) on behalf of Jean Bowler at www.ageless-beauty.com

(If you'd like Ms. Madge(rs) to clean up your 'dirty comments', email her at margot@margotpotter.com)

Greetings and Salutations from Ms. Madge(rs)

noreply@blogger.com (Margot Potter) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:36:00 +0000

Gentle Reader:

Welcome to Internetiquette with Ms. Madge(rs.) Please settle back, relax and exhale. I'm so very glad you're here.

Something has happened since the expansion of the internet, and it is high time someone did something about it. I have grown weary of the every expanding contingent of mean people who feel compelled to wander freely around the internet spreading their nastiness like contagion. Everyone with an opinion and a keyboard is free to say whatever they choose, whenever they choose and without consequence. And they do, endlessly, anonymously and without forethought or remorse. We can allow them to drag us down to their level and shoot something nasty right back, but why bother? Then we have, as the saying says, sunk to their level. We can do our best to ignore them, but the plain truth is that their words really can and do hurt. In fact, one mean spirited word bomb can utterly destroy an otherwise perfectly delightful day.

I believe it is time we rose to the occasion and found a way shine a light on this rampant bad behavior while simultaneously sending these little rodents scurrying back into the dark holes from whence they crawled.

In the tradition of Miss Manners with a generous nod to Dorothy Parker, I plan on helping fight this noble fight and in the process, hope to help to create a small haven of civility and courtesy. Welcome to Internetiquette, if you have a dirty comment you'd like me to clean, feel free to send it to margot@margotpotter.com. I'll post the comment, my reply and a link back to you.

Most Sincerely,

Ms. Madge(rs)