Cirilla's Bedroom Insider

How to Maintain Intimacy when You're Apart with Distance Sex

2020-04-02T16:15:00.000-05:00

Whether it's an illness or a long-distance relationship, it's frustrating to be separated from partners and lovers. In the age of the Internet, there are so many ways to connect, however, and some of the tried-and-true methods of distance sex are still as good as ever! Don't believe me? Try the following for yourself!

Phone Sex

There's an entire generation of people who have missed out on phone sex because they're not comfortable with phone calls, and it's a shame. Phone sex is awesome, y'all. You get to share an intimate connection with someone that can feel quite taboo and all the much hotter for it. But you don't have to shave, brush your teeth, or even remove all your clothing. Hell, you don't even have to turn on the lights.

Phone sex combines the best parts of masturbating with the best parts of partnered sex, and now's it's time for a comeback! Thanks to smartphones and headsets, you can reserve both your hands for pleasure! So read your partner a sexy story, describe your fantasies, or tell the person on the other end of the phone what you're doing to yourself, and lie back and listen to their delectable sounds. Just make sure to wipe your phone down before and after touching yourself.

Cyber Sex

The face of cybersex has changed greatly over the last two decades. Thanks to high-speed Internet and high-definition cameras on the devices that we always have on us, you can see and hear the person on the other end of the line. So go ahead and start a Skype call or FaceTime with your boo. There are all sorts of sexy games to play via camera, ranging from Simon Says to self-bondage to erotic hypnosis. You can always stick to still photos if you prefer.

Of course, just because text-based cybersex isn't as common as it once was doesn't mean that you can't get old-school with it. Maybe it's time for the chat room to make a comeback! With so many people stuck at home, plenty of people are looking for those to flirt and hookup within the digital world, and some of these people have flocked to online dating sites. Who knows? Maybe your virtual hookup can lead to a physical one in the future!

Smart Toys

Smart toys have become more ubiquitous over the last few years. Smart toys, like other smart devices, interface with your phone – usually via Bluetooth. You can use your phone as a remote control or hand it over to someone who can tease and titillate you, even if they're in a different room. However, this technology doesn't just improve on yesterday's frustrating remote-controlled toys.

The technology known as teledildonics allows users to controls toys over the Internet from afar, and it pairs perfectly with other items in this list. Many smart devices offer these capabilities, and some devices even integrate with your or messaging apps. Perhaps most impressive is the fact that some companies make toys that can respond to each other over the Internet when both are in use.

Get Low-Tech

You don't necessarily have to get high tech to enjoy toys when you're separated from your partner. Clone-A-Willy and Clone-A-Pussy kits allow you to create molds from your genitals and create sex toys from them, which you can share through good old-fashioned snail mail. The technique can take a second to perfect, so be sure to read all the instructions and watch a few videos before trying it out yourself. However, if it works, your partner will get a one-of-a-kind sex toy that reminds them of you!

Online Sex Work

For people who don't have a partner, sex workers are still available online. Cam girls provide a necessary connection to people who cannot find it elsewhere, not to mention release! And you can support your favorite performs via their websites, Only Fans accounts, and directly.

Yourself

Of course, solo sex can still be awesome. More importantly, it can be a form of self-care during trying times. So break out the lube, your favorite sex toy, and your most reliable erotic content. If you're in a position to do so, seek out ethical porn and pay for it.

Lock the doors and slip between the sheets or into the tub. Explore your body and pleasure yourself in the ways that only you know how to do. Continue on for an orgasm or ten. Or you can also focus on the journey and not the destination.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

More People Should Use Lube. Here’s Why.

2020-02-11T09:11:00.000-06:00

There’s a weird misconception floating around that you shouldn’t need lube, or that if you need to use it you’ve somehow failed at sex. While a proper warm-up for vaginal sex is, of course, highly encouraged, not all bodies produce much homemade lubricant. Some body parts don’t make any of their own at all! A little extra lube can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable and can reduce pain and irritation that may be a result of sex that isn’t slippery enough. It can prevent condoms from breaking and make them more comfortable. Plus, it can add some novelty to your sex life. Lube is awesome, and in my humble opinion, more folks should be using it!

To see what might be happening inside the body without adequate lubricant, rub your hands together really quickly. You’ll feel some resistance, your hands might warm up, and if you keep it up for long enough the rubbing might get uncomfortable. Continue even longer and you’ll end up with red, irritated hands. This irritation can happen with sex, too, especially if it’s particularly vigorous. If you’re ending sex with burning, painful genitals, adding lube might do just the trick in reducing or eliminating that pain.

Some acts are pretty much impossible (or would be painful) without lube. After all, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina does. This means that not using lube with any kind of anal play will result in a whole lot of discomfort. Saliva might work for a finger or a small toy, but more often than not, spit isn’t good enough. Lots of lube is especially important for larger penises or toys. It keeps things moving and makes all sorts of sexy activities possible and pain-free.

Lube helps with condom use in two major ways. First, it can make a condom comfier. Adding a small drop of lube in the tip of a condom allows it to more smoothly move around the head of the penis. Then, using lube on the outside of a condom can prevent it from breaking. Have you ever seen a balloon pop from too much rubbing? That’s exactly what could be happening to a condom. If the sex you’re having isn’t well-lubricated enough, it can cause friction and weaken the condom until it breaks. Using water or silicone-based lubricants can reduce this friction. The exception to this condom-helping property is an oil-based lubricant. Take a gander around the internet and you’ll see recommendations to use coconut oil as lube. While this is usually safe (although some people’s bodies don’t like it and it may cause yeast infections), oil-based lubricants can degrade the latex of a condom and cause it to break. Stick to water or silicone-based lubricants for this trick!

Of course, lube is useful for more than just making things more slippery. Some offer warming or cooling sensations to provide different experiences. Some feature fun flavors for oral sex (be careful using these in vaginas though; they might cause an imbalance of bacteria or yeast and result in an infection!). Some use a gentle numbing agent to delay ejaculation by reducing sensation. It is important to note that while this can be useful to use on the inside of a condom (some condoms come with this lubricant pre-installed); these lubes are not good for anal sex (which they’re often marketed for). It is important to be aware of pain with anal sex, and if it hurts, you should try something smaller or stop altogether. Using these numbing lubes for booty play may result in injury. That’s why it’s important to be able to listen to your body!

Lube has a whole host of benefits. It’s great for reducing pain and discomfort with intercourse, allowing some sex acts to even be possible, making condoms comfier and less likely to break, and adding something fun and new to your routine. There’s no shame in using it and needing some extra slipperiness doesn’t mean you are any worse at sex than someone who’s body just happens to produce more of its own. Most importantly, it can improve your sex life and bring more comfort, pleasure, and fun. Keep up that foreplay, but don’t be afraid to add a little lubricant.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

How to Communicate with Your Partner About Your Sexual Fantasies

2020-01-21T15:17:00.000-06:00

So you've got a sexual fantasy and want it to become a reality? Rest assured that you're not alone and that communicating those fantasies to your partner can be a positive thing!

Fantasies Are Common - Some Especially So

Before you're able to ask about fantasy, you might need to learn to accept a few things about yourself. First, recognize that being a sexual person is not a bad thing. Second, remember that it's okay if you want to try something new in the bedroom and doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or your relationship. Variety is the spice of life, after all. Thirdly, recognize that your specific fantasies don't mean that you're some kind of freak.

Almost everyone has a fantasy, and some fantasies are so common that there's a good chance that you may share a fantasy with your partner. This is what sex educator and research Justin Lehmiller found when he surveyed over 4,000 people about their sexual fantasies, a first when it comes to sex research. In his book, Tell Me What You Want, Lehmiller reveals that fantasies involving multi-partner sex, BDSM/power play, and novelty/adventure were so common that almost everyone had ever had a fantasy about them. Knowing this can make talking about your fantasies easier.

If that's not enough, Lehmiller also explains how negative feelings such as guilt were more often experienced by those people who repressed their fantasies than those who expressed them and that those feelings often led to sexual problems. He also encouraged readers to express their fantasies because it gives them the power to control when -- and how -- those fantasies surface.

You don't want to be so anxious about these conversations that you assume the conversation will go poorly, which can change your tone to one that's more negative. These conversations may be important, but they don't necessarily have to be serious or stressful. In fact, they can be fun, and the results can be positive for your relationship and sex life. Being able to share with your partner can make you feel closer.

In fact, Lehmiller found that people who had shared their fantasies with their partners were typically met with a neutral or positive reaction. Negative responses weren't that common!

Sharing Your Fantasy

But just because you're ready to share, doesn't mean you know how to do that. So here's some advice.

Remember that disclosing your sexual preferences is a process and isn't completed all at once. Therefore, you can start with smaller items before divulging fantasies that might be a little more "out there." You might mention that you like handcuffs before moving on to being hogtied or intricate Japanese ropework.

While you might think that a public place is a good place for these discussions, think again. You don't want to involve other people in your discussion without their consent, and your partner might not feel as comfortable in these situations as they would in private. On the other hand, bringing up a discussion while you're in a vehicle, for example, may lead your partner to feel trapped.

The time and setting should be one when neither of you is distracted, so turn off the TV and silence your phones. Avoid times when your partner might already feel stressed or be in a negative mood. You might say something like, "Hey, we should talk about sex later," to ensure your partner isn't too surprised!

There are a couple of times that work as the perfect segue:

Consuming erotic media (on screen, on the page, etc.)

Visiting a sex store (online or in-person)

Playing an erotic game such as sexy Truth or Dare or Would You Rather

Participating in a question-asking activity

It can help to wait until both of you are sexually aroused because arousal makes people more receptive to sexual ideas. However, you don't want to spring a new kinky toy on a partner during sex if you haven't already talked about it. Furthermore, bringing up fantasies after sex can come across as though you're unsatisfied.

To combat this, remind your partner why you're having these discussions. You want to explore together. You want to grow closer, express your vulnerability, and learn more about your partner. Invite your partner to share their fantasies, too. It's not all about you. Explain your partner's roles in that fantasy to remind them that they're involved.

When discussing fantasies, being specific can help. You might say that you like things "a little kinky," which can insert images of extreme activities in your partner's mind. If you simply mean that you'd like to try spanking and a blindfold, specify that.

Communicating About What You've Shared

Once you begin communicating about fantasies, you might discover a few things.

Your fantasies are the same as your partner's

You have some overlap in fantasies

Your fantasies are completely different

Your partner has no fantasies

Of course, the last one is unlikely as we've already discussed how common fantasies are. Sometimes, it can simply be too difficult for people to let down their guard and talk about these things.

Then, it's up to the two of you to decide whether and how to proceed. If you're on the same page, a trip to the local sex shop or some Internet shopping might be called for. These activities be a type of foreplay in their own right! Plan how you will explore that fantasy to ensure that it goes as positively as possible!

You may need to determine if fantasy is something that you actually want to act out or if it's realistic.

If your partner isn't completely on board with your fantasy at its most extreme, there may be a middle ground at which you can meet. Or you may be willing to compromise and try something that your partner wants to do if they will do the same.

Whatever you do, it's important to respond without making your partner feel judged, even if you're not into what they want to do. Bringing up fantasies only to be rejected and, perhaps, judged, can have long-lasting repercussions.

You might feel relieved now that this conversation is over, but don't forget that these discussions continue to happen as long as you have sex. You might try fantasy and feel differently about it, develop new fantasies, or try something more intense. All of these things require more communication.

Of course, once you take that first step, all the rest are that much easier!

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Keeping Sex Pleasurable After Menopause

2019-12-27T15:00:00.000-06:00

Menopause can occur naturally or surgically, that is after an oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries). Natural menopause occurs most frequently after age 45, but it can happen earlier or later. No matter the cause, menopause manifests in several bodily and mental changes due to a decrease in estrogen. Understanding what's happening with your body helps explain why you feel the way you do and can help you determine how to best claim your sexuality after menopause.

The decrease in estrogen leads to the most obvious symptom of menopause: no more periods. You might also be aware of symptoms such as mood swings or hot flashes that are not uncommon with menopause. However, there are other less-obvious side effects, and they can seriously affect your sex life.

Vaginal Dryness

Estrogen plays a critical role in the vagina's ability to self-lubricate, so women who are going through menopause may experience vaginal dryness as blood flow to the genital decreases. Dry sex is often painful. There are several options to relieve vaginal dryness, fortunately. They include vaginal moisturizers like Replens, which helps to increase moisture overall and personal lubricant, which you can apply prior and during sexual activities for temporary relief of dryness.

Decreased Libido

Several studies have found that menopausal women experience a drop in desire; although, this isn't always the case. This can happen because hormones drop with menopause. Mood swings, poor sleep, and hot flashes can also make it difficult for menopausal women to get in the mood for sex.

Vaginal Atrophy

While many people focus on the previous two sexual side effects of menopause, vaginal atrophy can also significantly impact your sex life. Decreases in estrogen mean vaginal tissues are less elastic. The result? Painful sex, even if you are in the mood! Vaginal atrophy can increase the likelihood of tears, which can make you more susceptible to infections as well, and bleeding.

Your doctor may prescribe medication such as that can increase the thickness and durability of vaginal tissue. However, this medicine can also increase the likeliness of blood clots and stroke in some women.

Orgasm Difficulty

Along with painful sex and decreased libido, some women have more difficulty with orgasm after menopause. Orgasms may be less consistent or less intense. Kegel exercises, which tone pelvic floor muscles, may improve your orgasms. These exercises can also be beneficial for urinary incontinence, which some women experience with menopause.

Dealing with the Sexual Side Effects of Menopause

Many times, women will continue having sex even if it's painful or not something they want due to menopause. Or they may retreat within themselves, which can cause strife in their relationships. However, it doesn't have to be this way.

There is no single cure to all of the side effects caused by menopause. However, you can work with your doctor to find what's right for you. Many women undergo hormone therapy after menopause to replenish the hormones their bodies no longer make and relieve symptoms such as vaginal dryness and atrophy. Estrogen comes in a variety of forms from pills to creams to injections. Talk to your doctor to find out more.

Some people may not see improvements when taking estrogen and others may not be appropriate candidates for hormone therapy. There are some steps you can take to remain sexual, including the use of vaginal moisturizers and lube mentioned above.

Masturbate: Many doctors and patients find that remaining sexually active can put off or reduce the side effects of menopause. So keep having sex or masturbating as long as it's possible and pleasurable.
Focus on foreplay: At any age, increasing foreplay can help you become more aroused, experience more pleasure, and increase the likelihood of having an orgasm. Manual and oral sex, sensual massage, and other activities are just a few ideas to get you started. Don't forget about written or visual erotica, which can help to get you going.
Try outercourse: If penetrative sex is something you can no longer do or cannot do as much as you once did, try outercourse. This includes activities such as dry humping, making out, and mutual masturbation all fall into this category. Expand your idea of what “counts” as sex, and you'll find that your sex life can continue quite happily. These activities can provide a sexual release and keep you connected to your partner.
Be mindful: Studies have found that mindfulness can help with sexual dysfunctions such as arousal. Mindfulness can promote relaxation, which is good for sexual enjoyment. Mindfulness can keep you in the moment and focused on the journey (pleasure) versus the destination (orgasm). Activities such as tai chi and yoga also encourage mindfulness and can be helpful during this time.
Talk about it: Sexual communication is always important but especially so if you're experiencing changes because of menopause. Your partner may not be aware of some of the lesser-known side effects. Furthermore, don't be afraid to talk about any symptoms you may have with your doctor. It's their job to help you find ways to cope with menopause, even if talking about sex seems embarrassing to you. Trust us, your doctor has seen and heard it all.
Switch things up: Breaking out of your sexual routine can give your sex drive a boost and make you feel more connected to your partner. Try something new such as using a sex toy if you never have before. Roleplaying and BDSM can also reignite the spark that may have been extinguished by menopause and other factors.
Remember safer sex: Sex after menopause can be great. After all, there's no risk of pregnancy, and the kids are out of the house so you can get down whenever you want. However, the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection still exists. You can reduce those risk by using safer sex devices such as condoms for penetrative sex or oral performed on a man or dental dams for oral sex performed on a woman.

Not everyone experiences menopause the same, and your symptoms can vary in intensity as you go through menopause. However, knowing what can happen and how to work around it can ensure that menopause doesn't interfere with your sex life and prevent you from being as sexual as you want.

By: Adriana Ravenlust

Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

How To Introduce Sex Toys To A Partner

2019-12-17T16:00:00.000-06:00

Using a sex toy might be just what you need to spice up your sex life, even if it's just sex with yourself. Some people find that they experience more pleasure and easier orgasms by using sex toys. Vibrators, especially, can help some women have an orgasm for the very first time. You may already have a favorite sex toy when you start sleeping with a new partner, or you may be considering using sex toys for the first time with an existing lover. However, the way you bring up the idea can impact whether your partner is down with the idea.

Pick the Right Timing

Discussing your collection of sex toys before you've even had sex or breaking out your favorite dildo during your first sexual encounter with a person might be a deal-breaker. Someone who is new to sex toys may feel overwhelmed if you opt for a sexy surprise. A partner may also be offended if you bring up the idea right after sex if it seems like you were disappointed.

Instead, you can bring up the topic of sex toys after you've had sex. Consider a casual conversation when your partner is relaxed and not busy. Your discussion can help you determine how your partner feels about sex toys, and bring up the idea if they seem receptive. You may need to discuss why your partner doesn't like the idea first.

Focus on the Benefits

For some people, not using sex toys means sex is less satisfying. However, you're not likely to get very far if you simply complain about what doesn't work for you. You don't need to list every single thing that has disappointed you. Instead, you can let your partner know what does work for you and suggest how toys will help you become closer, explore your sexualities, and have even more pleasurable sex. Imagine telling your partner how hot it will be to see them using a toy on themselves or you. These conversations can be a starting point for you to discuss your sexual needs and desires with your partner – and to learn about theirs!

Communicate Openly About Sex

To piggyback on the previous idea, being able to communicate about sex will make introducing sex toys that much easier. Furthermore, talking about sex is the only way you can know what your partner wants and likes and to figure out how you can expand your sex life.

As part of your communication, you can let your partner know why sex toys work for you. Perhaps you can only achieve orgasm with vibration or you need something more intense or consistent than a partner can provide. Use these conversations as a way to reassure your partner that a toy can't and won't ever replace them. A sex toy can bring you pleasure, but at the end of the day, it's just a tool. You cannot have a romantic connection or sexual chemistry with a sex toy.

Shop for Toys Together

Invite your partner to shop for toys with you, whether that's online or in person. This allows them to figure out what they might be interested in and ensures that the toys you use together are yours and aren't associated with a former lover.

If shopping successfully gets your partner's juices flowing, they might even suggest something you hadn't considered before, which can encourage even more exploration.

Pick the Right Toy

A lot of men, especially, may worry about their partners using insertable toys that are larger than them. You might love your big purple dildo, but it may not be the right toy to introduce to your partner. Instead, opt for something a little less intimidating or that doesn't feel like “competition.” A bullet vibrator, for example, doesn't compete with your partner and is small enough not to intimidate most people. Or you may opt for a fantastic design rather than one that looks like a penis.

Introducing sex toys to a partner can be similar to introducing kink. Work your way up to things that are a little more “out there.” Gauge your partner's reaction as you go.

Toys Are for Both of You

You might need a toy to get off or simply prefer one, but you won't have much luck if you introduce the idea of sex toys as something that's for you alone. Instead, focus on how toys can improve things for both of you. For example, men can enjoy vibrations as well as women. Or you might opt for a cock ring that offers clitoral stimulation while also helping him stay harder. If you can connect a toy to something your partner already does, your partner might be even more receptive to the idea.

Buy Their First Sex Toy

If your partner is open to it, buy them a sex toy. This could be a vibrator or dildo or a stroker like a Tenga egg. Let your partner use the toy, perhaps in private, to get used to the idea of using toys. It can be hot to watch them use it, too! This makes it much easier to incorporate toys into partnered play.

Introducing Sex Toys to Casual Partners

The way you introduce sex toys to a casual or non-romantic partner may differ from how you go about it with an established or long-term partner. You want to ensure that you both have a good time, but you might be more focused on pleasure that only a toy can bring over this person's feelings. There are still some things you can do so your partner will be more receptive to the idea. For example, try asking something such as “Do you want to see how I come?” This type of sexy dirty talk will keep things sexy and make your partner feel like a contributor to your pleasure.

By: Adriana Ravenlust

Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

2019 Holiday Gift Guide

2019-12-12T09:44:00.000-06:00

The holiday season is well upon us. Christmas music plays everywhere, decorations have been hung, and the stress of what gifts to get everyone has fully set in. Perhaps you’re the type of person that already has all their shopping done and is kicking back to relax and read some sex related articles (I envy you for your organization), but perhaps you’re reading this because you might be considering giving someone on your list a sex toy.

Giving a sex toy as a gift can be a bit risky. It can be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for someone to receive a sex toy as a gift if they weren't expecting it, so it’s always important to be sure the recipient will want and be comfortable with opening a present and discovering something sex-related inside. Sometimes, this means directly asking them “hey, how would you feel if I got you some sort of sex toy as a gift?”. If the answer sounds uncomfortable or unsure, definitely consider something else. People can be picky about their sex toys too (after all, it’s something rather personal), so if the answer to that question is “awesome!”, then you might want to talk about what sort of toy they might be interested in and what their preferences are. After all, a tiny pink butterfly-shaped vibrator is quite different than an assortment of leather kink implements. For more tips on gifting sex toys, give this post a read. Otherwise, here are some gift ideas for sexy friends in your life.

For the blossoming kinkster: Under The Bed Restraint System

If you and your partner have played around with a bit of kink and are looking for the next step, this little kit provides an entire restraint system that fits any size bed. The set includes both wrists and ankle cuffs that can be attached to the straps, one another, or anything else, giving folks the opportunity to get creative and experiment with some bondage.

For your fave strap-on top: a new harness

Choosing a harness for someone can be tricky, but if you know their style, this could be a functional and fun gift for both of you! Try sneakily asking for what they need in a strap-on. Maybe their current one doesn’t fit right or comes loose during sex. Then, find one that might remedy that issue. The Fit Strap-On Harness looks like a pair of briefs but has a hole in the front with a 1.5” stretchy O-ring. It’s machine washable and has a built-in vibrator pocket for their own pleasure too!

For the long-distance sweetie: The We-Vibe Sync. This app-compatible vibrator can be controlled with a smartphone from across the room or across the world. It has two vibrating motors to target both the G-spot and the clit and can be worn with penetrative sex when you've reunited once again.

For the G-Spot or prostate lover: The Njoy Pure Wand: The Pure Wand is a curved metal dildo famous for targeting the G-spot or prostate like no other. Each end has a different size rounded bulb so your partner can find what size works for them. This toy is perfect for providing firm intense pressure, and has even been known to cause squirting!

For the DIYer: a Clone-A-Willy or Clone-A-Pussy Kit. If your darling is into both sex toys and crafts, why not get them a gift that does both? With a Clone-A-Willy or Clone-A-Pussy kit, your darling can make their own fully functional silicone dildo or masturbation sleeve molded after your (or their own) genitals. What an idea for a date night!

For the blowjob enthusiast: The Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage

If your pal loves giving or receiving oral sex, the Quickshot could be great for adding just a little something extra. A shorter version of a masturbator, it provides extra stimulation around the base of the receiver’s penis while the open end leaves room for the giver to do what they do best. As a bonus, the clear holder and sleeve allow you both to see every bit of the action.

For those curious about butt stuff: The b-Vibe Anal Training & Education Set. If you and your dear have discussed forays into booty play, this kit might be a perfect place to start. With three butt plugs of varying sizes (one of which vibrates), an in depth guide to anal play, and tools for proper cleanup and lubrication, y’all can ease into something new!

If you’re still unsure what to get, it might be worth it to let the person choose. Gift cards may be considered a cop-out, but it also ensures that the recipient will actually end up with something they will enjoy. Another option is to browse together and have them pick out a few things that interest them, then purchase one of those items. Gifting a sex toy can be a challenge, but with effective communicaiton, it doesn’t have to be.

What’s on your sexy holiday wishlist? Have you successfully given a sex toy as a gift in the past? Let us know in the comments below, and happy holidays!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

How To Help A Woman Orgasm

2019-12-05T11:00:00.000-06:00

It's far more common for men to orgasm during sexual encounters than women, especially when it comes to casual encounters. Why is this? Research has found that most women either need clitoral stimulation to orgasm or prefer it to do so. But penetration alone typically provides little to no clitoral pleasure for a woman.

This means that it doesn't matter how hard your erection is or how long you can keep it up. However, the bright side is that you can use your entire body to give her pleasure, which gives your penis a break. And if you and your partner are willing to explore, you can discover how she can have consistent orgasms.

Take Your Time

The first step to ensuring a woman has an orgasm is taking time to ensure she's adequately aroused. Without this arousal, sex can be uncomfortable or even painful. So don't rush to penetration. Use your hands and mouth. Spend more time making out rather than just giving a few perfunctory kisses. As a result, you'll be more aroused, too!

Understand Her Desire

Many people misunderstand how sexual desire works. For many women who have responsive desire, desire can only appear after physical arousal, which is one reason why taking your is important. On top of that, desire problems can interfere with a person's ability to have an orgasm.

But it's not just about ramping up that sex drive. There are things that inhibit the sex drive, too. This is known as the dual-control model of sexual response, which was suggested by Bancroft and Janssen as a way to explain desire. You can add all the candles and kisses you want, but if you don't deal with things that kill desires such as stress, low body image, relationship issues, and health issues including medications, it's like hitting the gas while the parking brake is still on.

A sensual massage can release stress and get her mind and body on the same page so she can really let go and enjoy sensual pleasure. She may also benefit from mindfulness techniques.

If you're interested in some reading material, Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are expands on the issue of desire.

Get Handsy

Your hands are perfect for rubbing her clitoris until she's writhing in ecstasy. Any time you have a free hand, reach out and touch her most sensitive place! A few positions are especially conducive for this, including doggie style and any position where you're behind her and don't need both hands for stabilization.

Here's a way to spice it up: either place your hand over hers to stimulate her clitoris, or place your hand under hers so she can guide you and show you exactly what she wants.

You can also place your hand around the base of your penis when she's riding you with two fingers on either side similar to Spock's hand. This allows her to grind against your knuckles.

Don't forget to use your finger and hands before and after penetration. If your fingers are inside her, you can use your thumb to stimulate your clitoris. For even more pressure, insert just your ring and middle finger with your pinky and index finger resting on either side of her labia. Bend your wrist up to stimulate her clitoris with the palm of your hand.

Become a Cunning Linguist

Although this wordplay might be a bit dated, the advice is always fresh. Oral sex is a great way to help your partner become turned on and experience an orgasm. To make sure she gets the most out of it, show enthusiasm and don't rush through it. Pay attention to her bodily cues to see what she responds to, and don't switch things up if orgasm is imminent.

Try a New Sex Position

Coital Alignment Technique, in which you move your body up so you can grind against her clitoris was designed by psychotherapist Edward Eichel precisely to give women more pleasure during sex.

Thigh Tide is a variation of Reverse Cowgirl where the woman is on top but facing away from her partner. If you're the partner on the bottom, lift one of your legs and bend your knee so that your foot is flat on the bed beneath you. As your partner rides you, she can grind against your thigh for clitoral stimulation.

Position pillows made from memory foam can change angles to provide more pleasure for both of you. Your partner may also enjoy grinding against them, and some pillows (such as those made by Liberator) even have pockets to insert a vibrator, which brings us to our next point.

Fill Your Toolbox

One of the most effective ways for a woman to have an orgasm is with the use of a sex toy. If you already know she finds it easier to orgasm with her vibrator, you can use that toy or even shop together for one that you use together.

Many people start with a small bullet vibrator that's not intimidating, easy to use, and ideal for clitoral stimulation. However, bullet vibes are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sex toys. You'll find there are toys that each of you can enjoy alone as well as those you can use together. Consider the following examples.

The Magic Wand Original has been lauded for years as the “Cadillac” of sex toys by power queens
Womanizer was the first to come out with a line of air pulsators that create suction around the clitoris, but many others have joined the game since then
Try a G-spot vibrator with a curved head for internal stimulation
She can wear a couples vibrator such as the We-Vibe during sex, and you'll get to enjoy it, too
Put on a vibrating cock ring to stimulate her clitoris as you thrust

There are plenty of options to choose from, so don't think you need to try all of them or break the bank by going for a luxury toy. However, beware that not every sex toy works for everybody, and there is some trial and error involved.

Experimenting with these tricks can bring her closer to orgasm and the two of you closer together.

By: Adriana Ravenlust

Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

What to Do When You Hate Your New Sex Toy

2019-11-21T13:00:00.000-06:00

There are few things are enjoyable as tearing open a package to reveal a new sex toy or rushing home after your trip to the local sex shop to try out your goodies. Except, sometimes the pleasure and orgasms you're expecting fail to appear, and you only experience disappointment. Sometimes you can even hate your new sex toy. What do you do then?

Try It Again

Perhaps you're stressed, feeling under the weather, or in part of your menstrual cycle when desire and/or pleasure are a bit harder to achieve. Plus, if you're simply getting used to a new sex toy, it might take a few tries for it to feel normal. This can happen if you've never used a sex toy before or if you're accustomed to using sex toys in a certain way.

Use It In Different Ways

This piggybacks on the idea that you may have to use a toy a few times before you like it. Instead of just using it again, however, you need to experiment with the way you use it. Perhaps you're accustomed to using your hand to masturbate or you may have had a previous toy with a different shape, size, or vibration effect.

Not only should you use your toy differently than you're used to, but you might benefit if you use it differently from intended. For example, you might not love a toy for G-spot stimulation, but it might feel nice stimulating your clitoris or nipples externally – even if it was intended for internal play. You could find that a toy designed for couples work better solo or vice versa. As long as you keep safety in mind, there's no wrong way to use a sex toy.

Use Lube

If your sex toy feels a bit large or has a texture that's more grabby or sticky, lube can be a lifesaver. It makes penetration easier and more comfortable and can enable you to play with your toy longer. Some people don't realize that playing with toys or having sex shouldn't hurt. If it does, lube might be an easy fix.

There are a few different lube recipes. In general, water-based lube is compatible with all toys, but some silicone toys may not be compatible with silicone-based lubes. You can perform a spot test by applying a small amount of lube on the base of the toy and rubbing vigorously for a few minutes. If the toy becomes gummy or sticky, it's not compatible with that lube.

Discover more about lube.

Check Out The Toy's Material

Speaking of materials, what your toy is made of could be why you hate it. Some materials are lower quality and can lead to burning during or after play. This is especially true of porous materials such as latex, PVC, or sil-a-gel. Jelly toys can eventually start leaching chemicals, which makes them become misshapen or fuse to other toys. You may be to use a condom with a toy to make it more comfortable, but sometimes you just need to toss the offending toy and buy one made out of body-safe materials.

Remember, however, that just because a toy is made of high-quality materials doesn't mean you'll like it. Stainless steel is nonporous but it might be too heavy or rigid for some people. Others may not like a toy that's slippery or can fall and break in the shower. Silicone can have a velvety texture that makes for a lot of drag.

Cut Your Losses

When you're experimenting with sex toys, you'll discover personal preferences that make a toy a bad match for you even if someone else might love it. Sometimes we simply have to eat the cost of discovery, which might be why you may want to hold off on a luxury toy until you know what you like better. However, nonporous toys can be sterilized and passed on to others who might enjoy them better.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Why Does Sex Look So Fake In Media

2019-11-06T11:39:00.000-06:00

When was the last time you saw sex seen in the movies that looked anything at all like real sex? Have you laughed or cringed or wondered why exactly sex looks that way and who are having sex like that? Perhaps you've felt disappointing or shame because the sexual experiences you've had don't match up with what you expect due to how sex is portrayed on screen. There's a reason why sex doesn't look realistic in media.

What Looks Good May Be Fake

First, remember that everything you see and hear on screen has to keep your interest. It doesn't need to look real as much as it needs to look interesting. So while your body can wind up contorted in ways that aren't exactly attractive when you actually have sex, you wouldn't see that in a steamy sex scene in a movie. The same goes for sounds, which may not always be so appetizing.

Movies and TV shows get away with this in part because sex scenes are short. At most, we see a few seconds of the action. It's a highlight reel. You can imagine that things such as consent, awkward position changes, and the application of lube are happening behind the scenes. But those things are boring, and viewers want to see the good stuff. At the very least, we've been trained to want to see those things and not the weird reality of sex.

But just because sex scenes may be short doesn't mean they don't involve a ton of production. Makeup, bodily enhancements, lingerie, specially-cut sheets and blankets, sexy lighting, and creative camera shots help to create all those steamy moments on film. That's not considering everything that's done after the initial filming including editing the visuals and adding music.

Of course, there isn't any sexy music playing when these scenes are being shot. There are, however, dozens of people watching actors in various states of undress as they attempt to simulate sex without making too much contact with another actor's body or revealing their own. Cameras, body parts, and blankets are arranged strategically to hide that actors are, in fact, not naked at all. Those simultaneous screaming orgasms are faked because that's what an actor does. No one has to rush to the bathroom to clean up dripping cum or fight over who sleeps in the wet spot on the bed because the scene has already ended. How can sex look real when it's imitation like any other thing we watch?

Shortcuts Save Time But Miss Details

Secondly, sex on the screen follows a script, and we're not just talking about the script that actors follow. There's a sexual script that people tend to follow on-screen and off. It goes a little something like this when we're talking about straight, cis-gendered folks: flirt, kiss, grope, remove some or all clothing, “foreplay,” penetration, man's orgasm.

These sexual scripts more often than not focus on penetration as the main course. Not only does this too often overlook a woman's sexual pleasure, but it suggests that a man's worth equates to the performance of his penis. Of course, the couple is always ready to go physically and mentally. It just wouldn't look good any other way.

To be fair, movies and shows frequently rely on shortcuts. We know that one character is the hero because they're wearing white and another is a villain because they're bedecked in dark colors. We expect that some things will appear a certain way because it helps us to understand what's going on. Our brains take shortcuts and fill in information all the time to be more efficient and to help make sense of the world. In some ways, it only makes sense that the media we create would do the same.

But seeing those same scripts repeated time and again if we're not occasionally reminded that this is just one way for sex to look and that every person can define sex individually can enforce a narrow depiction of sex. We can – and should – create our own scripts or feel free to ditch the script altogether. Sex can be much more varied than what appears in movies or on TV, which rarely shows couples of average appearance or disabled people enjoying sex.

Sexual scripts might be a bit more creative with other arrangements (two women, group sex, et cetera), but you might be surprised to realize how that sex walks the “straight” and narrow as well. We haven't even gotten into porn, in which sexual acts are often filmed from the (straight) man's point of view. POV porn is a popular segment of the porn market, perhaps because so much content caters to men, what they want to see, and how they see the world.

Question The Media You Consume

The problem is many of us accept what we see and don't think twice about it. This might not seem like a big deal, but questioning these portrayals of sex can be enlightening and healthy. We're not taught to analyze the media we consume to determine if it's realistic or complete. If we don't make a point to examine media, however, we might not realize there's a disconnect between the big screen and real life.

TV shows and porn fill in the gaps when there's a lack of quality sex education. However, this media doesn't paint the full picture. We might accept that sex should look and sound like what's in the movies and wonder what's wrong with us if that's not what we like to do with our partners in bed when, in reality, there's nothing at all wrong with our wants and desires. Real sex simply doesn't get any screen time.

Of course, it's not all bad. Slowly but surely, audiences have been able to see a wider variety of bodies and abilities. It's more common to see sex occurring between same-sex couples and bisexual characters exploring their sexuality on screen. Trans characters have appeared in more than a few TV shows. Writers make a point to show consent and negotiation before any clothes come off. Sexual activity isn't quite as routine, and there are nods given to a woman's pleasure, which often requires clitoral stimulation and not just penetration.

Change is happening, albeit slowly. Every time a viewer sees a character with whom they can identify, whether it's because of appearance, sexual orientation, or something else, or characters having sex that actually includes the activities they enjoy, they feel validated and normal. And every time we can gaze at the screen and see the awkwardness that sometimes accompanies sex, we are reminded that sex isn't picture perfect, but it doesn't have to be. It's okay when things don't go as planned. It's all part of the experience and that experience cannot be accurately portrayed in a few minutes of film.

By: Adriana Ravenlust

Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Wand Vibrators More Than Hitachi

2019-05-23T14:49:00.000-05:00

You've probably heard the Hitachi Magic Wand called the “Cadillac of vibrators” if you've read a sex toy review or two. For years, the Hitachi Magic Wand represented the gold standard of vibrators for decades despite its bulk and weight and the fact that it needed to be plugged in because of its powerful motor. Your mom may have used one or even your grandmother, and some people have used the same toy for years. The Hitachi has truly stood the test of time.

However, it's 2019, and it's not the only wand massager available, and it may no longer be the best one. This does make shopping for a wand a little harder, but we're here to help.

Does Hitachi Still Make the Magic Wand?

You might not realize that you can still get the Magic Wand if you don't keep up with sex toy news. It's just got a new name: Magic Wand Original. But while the wand is still available, that almost wasn't the case.

In 2013, the Hitachi company considered discontinuing the Magic Wand because it wanted to distance sex toys from its brand. Instead, Hitachi's distributor Vibratex, which you may know for its happy-looking rabbit vibrators, convinced Hitachi to keep making the Magic Wand but under a different name. So you have Vibratex to thank if your trusty Hitachi died and you wanted to replace it with the same toy.
Cordless, Variable, and More

This rebranding brought with it the long-desired Magic Wand Rechargeable. This version now boasts four speeds into of the two that the original comes with.

A note on Magic Wands: there are plenty of imitations on the market. If you want the real deal, purchase the Magic Wand Original or Rechargeable from a reputable sex toy retailer that's certified to sell the wand, which comes with a one-year warranty. Yup, Cirilla's is one of them, but Magic Wands sold on Amazon, Ebay, and other vendor sites may be fake. You might want to save a little money, but you won't save yourself any hassle. Learn more about counterfeit Magic Wands.

More Choices Than Ever

I've spent a lot of time talking about the Magic Wand Original after pointing out that there are alternatives available to customers. It's still an incredibly popular sex toy, after all. But what if the Magic Wand isn't your cup of tea? Perhaps you don't like the strength or depth of the vibrations. The head might be the wrong shape or size. Many people wish it were adjustable (for years, you could buy a cord attachment to hack the vibrations of the Hitachi). Whatever your preference, we've got you covered.

Cirilla's sells the following wands:

Le Wand – 20-setting wand available in regular and petite sizes with a variety of attachments and covers but you can always use the silicone head

Bodywand – fully adjustable thanks to a dial and without the risk of overheating due to air vents

Lelo Smartwand – rechargeable, silicone-coated wands available in medium and large sizes

Sola Sync – has a uniquely long handle, silicone exterior, 10 functions, and a wireless remote

Vibratex also makes corded and rechargeable versions of its own Mystic Wand that have been favorably reviewed. Lovehoney has thrown its hat into the wand game with both corded and cordless massagers. Another popular wand maker is Doxy, available in the original design, with a sleek die cast body, and an upgraded design that combines the best of both worlds. Doxy also makes a number of attachments.

Palm Power, Fairy Wand, Tantus Rumble, and Lovense Domi are just a few of the wands offered by reputable makers. CalExotics sells a few wands under the Embrace, Inspire, Miracle Massager, and Utopia lines. But Amazon is full of knockoffs.

There are simply too many options to list, but when it comes to choosing an alternative, a trusted name is often worth paying a bit more (wands can run from $60 to $150+). But you should read a few reviews for specific models before making your choice.

One thing that can make your decision easier is whether a toy is compatible with attachments.
Do More With Attachments

You probably have a good idea of what features you want in your wand massage, but you can do a lot more if you opt for an attachment. Attachments typically fit on the head of the wand to provide you with different sensations or, in some cases, different functions.

If you want a different sensation, a cover that fits over the head of the wand might do the trick. But if you want to use your toy in multiple ways, look for an insertable attachment so you can enjoy your wand vaginally or anally Some attachments provide dual stimulation with their shapes.

Attachments aren't just good for you if you have a clitoris or vagina. Le Wand even comes with attachments intended for use with a penis, and you can purchase stroker attachments that fit over the head of your massager.

Another benefit of covers and attachments? You can take them off to clean them easily. And if the attachment is made of pure silicone (unfortunately, the head of the Hitachi is PVC), you can sanitize it by boiling or washing with a 10% bleach solution. Just be sure to rinse it well after you do!

While you can sometimes buy attachments as a bundle with the wand – and this might mean savings -- you can usually purchase them separately. This is ideal if you're unsure which attachment you'd like or would like to buy more than one to use with your massager.

Attachments are sometimes compatible with different models. Many companies designed their wands specifically to be the same size as the Hitachi. So an attachment that works for any of the following wands will work for all of them: Hitachi, Bodywand, Doxy, Lovehoney, Wand Essentials.

Finally, you can accessorize your wand with a harness that holds your wand in place (perfect for bondage scenarios where hands are bound), saddles for the Sybian that allow you to use a wand with it, and sex pillows with special pockets for holding your wand (Liberator makes the Axis among others).

While no one would blame you if you wanted to stick to the tried-and-true Magic Wand Original, there are plenty of alternatives out there. If you find the choices overwhelming, consider whether you want something cordless, with multiple speeds, or that's compatible with accessories. This will help you

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

How to Go from Good Sex To Great Sex

2019-05-09T15:54:00.000-05:00

A lot of people simply want to know the techniques that will make good sex into great sex, and you'll find plenty of those within our blog posts. But you can try all sorts of new things to make your good sex great and wind up a little disappointed. Why is that? There are two factors at play: your attitude and communication.

Your Attitudes About Sex

We start with attitude because if you have a bad attitude about sex, then you're unlikely to communicate about it effectively. Of course, some people may have a pretty healthy view of sex. If you're one of

them, you might want to skip this section.

What do we mean when we talk about a healthy attitude about sex?

You recognize that sex (with others and yourself) is natural and healthy
You don't judge others or yourself for your sexual preferences (as long as they involve consenting adults)
You recognize that having great sex can take work
You proactively take charge of your sexual healthYou don't prioritize your partner's pleasure over your own
You have sex because and only when you want to

Many of these ideas are tenets of the sex-positive movement, and while it's gaining traction, it's harder to shed "sex negative" thoughts than you might realize.

If you've been taught your entire life that sex is scary or risky, that your sexuality belongs to another person (such as a partner), that your pleasure is less important than someone else's (often true for women), that sex is your duty, that sex should only be for procreation (thus sex with yourself, multiple people, using birth control, or with a same-sex partner is immoral), that you shouldn't be interested in sex or any of the myriad other things that society impressed upon us, you might not look so favorably on sex.

You may have spent much of your sex life having mediocre sex, perhaps dealing with pain or discomfort or partners who don't care about your sexual pleasure. You might not be familiar with your anatomy. You may never have learned that sex can be good for you. It may be something that you simply grin and bear until it's over. Or you may have felt coerced to say "Yes" to sex you didn't want.

None of these things is helpful if you want to have a happy and healthy sex life, and several of these attitudes can get in the way of your pleasure and fostering greater intimacy with your partner(s).

How do you change attitudes about sex?

It's certainly easier said than done. You might start by examining how those attitudes have harmed you. You might finally admit your real desires and fantasies.

It also helps to learn more about sex whether that be by reading books, listening to podcasts, or attending lectures and sessions. There are so many resources available if you want to learn. You might be surprised how much you didn't know, but it's not your fault. Society often hides sex in the shadows.

Sex positivity can include talking to people about sex. We don't mean just your partner; although, we'll get to that in a moment. We mean friends, siblings, parents, and anyone else whom you might know. Recognizing that sex is healthy and natural and something to be enjoyed enables you to talk without shame. Knowing this can encourage you to speak to your doctor about any sexual problems.

One particular person who may prove helpful is a sex-positive therapist who can help you work through long-held beliefs about sex that are not longer aiding you. Although some professionals may be sex-negative, the right therapist can help you experience your sexuality more fully.

Let's Talk About Communication

Once you've got a healthy relationship with sex, it's time to consider your relationships with other people (unless, of course, you're sticking to solo sex).

Many people have the type of sex they think they should have, which might be good enough, but may not scratch every itch. You might want to try something such as bondage or spanking instead of just having "vanilla" sex. You may want your partner to pay more attention to your clitoris during sex or find yourself wishing that foreplay took longer.

These are all valid desires and, in some cases, are quite natural. If you're a woman, you've dealt with sex that prioritizes a man's orgasm. Even men might be surprised by how much better good sex can become once they talk about it.

Some people might think that talking about sex is silly. As long as it's good enough, why do it? After all, it's such an awkward conversation to have.

While that's true, it sets limits on your sexual experiences. Talking about sex means you can describe your fantasies, ask for what you want, talk dirty, and get to know your partner better.

There are a few things to keep in mind when talking about sex.

These conversations don't have to be tense or a "big deal." Keep a light tone and use humor when talking about sex. Just make sure the humor isn't at the expense of your partner.
Don't assume that the response will be negative or a rejection. Allow your partner to surprise you.
It's usually smart not to have a conversation about sex in the middle of sex or right after because this may come off as criticism.
Start the conversation when you know your partner has time for it and not when they're busy or distracted. You can let your partner know that you'd like to talk about sex when there's time.
Try not to have conversations where your partner will feel "trapped." This means that conversations in a vehicle might be ill-advised.
Be prepared to hear your partner's own desires and needs when you open the channels of communication.
Avoid blame or judgment in these conversations.

Remember that the sooner you make a habit of talking about sex, the easier it will be. If you can talk about sex when your sex life is good, you'll have an easier time should you run into any trouble down the line. These skills can also apply to other difficult discussions you may have.

Talking about your sex life allows you to explore with your partner, and both of you may find that sex gets even better by doing so. Communication is the foundation that lets you try any toy or technique you might discover.

Adopting a healthy attitude about sex and developing the skills to talk about sex can transform a good sex life into an even better one, and it can also help you improve your sex life if it's lackluster.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Nipple Pleasure: Techniques and Toys

2019-04-05T17:00:00.000-05:00

Nipples are awesome. They’re cute, they’re purposeful (if there’s an infant to feed), and thanks to being loaded with nerve endings, they’re pleasurable. As a bonus, everyone has them. Although nipple play is usually associated with women, men too can experience good feelings from having these sensitive spots touched. Nipple pleasure is for everyone!

Everyone feels differently about having their nipples touched. Some folks detest having them so much as accidentally brushed. Some like light touch, some like them really pinched, and some can orgasm solely from playing with their nipples without touching their genitals at all.

One way to find out what your own nipples (or those of your partner) enjoy is to start exploring. Experiment with varying sensations: light, soft touches, rougher pinches, a flick. You could try massaging, squeezing, using the thumb to rub around the nipple, rolling it between the thumb and index finger, or pinching a small or larger section. If you’ve got a partner (or can reach your own nipples with your face!), you can use a mouth and tongue to kiss or suck. As with any sexual activity, it’s often best to warm up with gentler touches before increasing intensity and clamping down. If you’re performing this on your partner, be sure to pay attention to their body language to see how they respond to each touch, and if you’re not sure, ask!

If you’ve discovered that nipple play is something you or your partner enjoys and you’ve done all sorts of things using just your hands, perhaps it’s time to try a nipple toy. Nipple toys are great for solo play, leaving your nipples secured and your hands free to do other pleasurable activities.

Nipple Suckers work by using suction to increase blood flow around this sensitive area. Some are a simple hollow rubber or silicone ball you squeeze air out of to suck nipples in. Some feature a tube with a twist to create a vacuum to do the same, creating a more intense feeling then the former.

Nipple Clamps come in different shapes and sizes. Some even have cool extra features like vibration or warming sensations. Tweezer style clamps look like their namesake and use a sliding ring to increase pressure. Alligator clamps look a bit like a clothespin, but tighten with a screw, as do Mandible clamps, which are especially pinchy. Clover or Butterfly clamps become tighter when the string is pulled. Other operate by sandwiching the nipple between two rods and using screws or bands to tighten to the desired level of pinch.

Some folks enjoy visually pleasing decorations, like fake piercings, tassels, or feathers. These may have adhesive backing for sticking on, utilize magnets, or be attached to a clamp.

If incorporating nipple play into your sexual arsenal makes you nervous, or if you’re having trouble finding pleasure in it, try mixing it with other sexual activities. Use a sex toy on your genitals while touching your nipples, or a sex toy on your nipples while touching your genitals. You can also have a partner provide either sort of pleasure to allow you to focus on what you’re doing.
Nipples are an underappreciated erogenous zone of the human body. Whatever you discover about your nipples, whether they’re extra sensitive or don’t feel a thing, know that it’s normal and healthy and unique to you.

By: Sammi

Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs