The original models of NLP included Milton Erickson, Virgina Satir, Fritz Perls, and Moshe Feldenkrais among others. Carlos Casteneda served as an important early influence. Gregory Bateson, author of Steps to an Ecology of Mind, guided much of the early work. By integrating the tools of many of these geniuses, they have helped many people heal old problems and transform people allowing individuals to become peak performers, achievers, and livers of life with greater joy and excellence.

Basic ideas such as repoir, represenational systems, and modeling have become a part of most management and behavioral training operations.

Grinder and Bandler published many influential books in the 1970′s and each continued to develop nlp in different directions since that time. In recent years, other influential contributers such as Judith Delozier and Robert Dilts, have influenced and impacted the field. Important books in the early years of NLP included Re-framing, Theraputic Metaphors, and And They Lived Happily Ever After. Among the more well known nlp techniques include reframing, language patterns, and eye accessing cues.

The foundation of the ethical use of NLP is allowing the client’s own unconscious to choose the goal or desired result, rather than the therapist or guide.

Over the years, more and more brilliant, thoughtful, and creative individuals have brought their personal gifts and abilities to the project, resulting in a quickly evolving system of personal improvement and excellence.

By: IC

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com
NLPschedule.com offers more information about NLP as well as different NLP techniques, for more useful tips about neuro linguistic programing visit us today!

If you want to convince people what you want them to the Conversational Hypnosis course is the best one around. Get people to do what you want including …

- How to get people to follow your lead – How to close a sale – How to get your kids and teens to listen to you – How to get respect from coworkers and friends – How to increase sales and get customers and clients to say yes – How to read people’s minds.

Learn how to hypnotize someone using simple techniques, tips and secrets that have been use for decades with success this is where conversational hypnosis comes in and you too will be able to learn these techniques with this instant download.

This is not some far fetched CIA mind control story. A good conversational hypnosis course will show you the techniques or methods it takes to be successful in dealing with every day situations that involve people

Learn how to hypnotize people and you learn how to get people to like you. A leader in society knows that the hardest part about changing peoples minds is about getting someone to like you through actions words ad body language.

Voice control methods can help you use activate emotional triggers and get the response you desire. The power of suggestion and similar techniques can help you learn how to mind control a girl or guy and help make people agreeable. When you know how to hypnotize the correct way it makes your task easier.

If you want to make someone agree with you, make sales or just easier to work with this hypnosis may help you. This conversational hypnosis course is tough by one of the finest coaches around.

You will learn not only what to do but what to avoid so you can instantly connect with people. You will learn methods of matching and mirroring the correct way and this is where many experts get it wrong.

When you have mastered the techniques of persuasion people will be attracted to you. You should have the ability to persuade a woman, man, your boss even a stranger.

When you learn how to hypnotize someone you will have learned the art of persuasion. These are just tips and tricks that people use already at a subconscious level.

This is like having the keys to the mind. Many influential people are where they are at because they use the art of persuasion subconsciously.

By: Pete Marks

There is every likelihood that you may be acquainted with Trance Formation Neuro Linguistic Programming and The Structure Of Hypnosis. You can learn so much knowledge from this publication and it is based around Bandler/Grinder who speak and teach on the ever so popular subject of hypnosis, therapy, NLP and Milton Erikson. This category of hypnosis is just so amazing in respect of the fact that you can hypnotize using what is known as embedded commands. I mean let’s stop and think about this for a moment, the majority of all communication, beliefs and thoughts are hypnosis. Everything is actually hypnosis. You begin thinking that you’re clumsy and at some point you will find that you really are clumsy! The key here is that we must choose to hypnotize and input beliefs that are helpful to us, not anything that might hold us back!

Defining Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Let us be clear about the definition of Neuro Linguistic Programming. According to Bandler, Trance Formation Neuro Linguistic Programming and The Structure Of Hypnosis is an attitude and methodology which leaves behind a trial of techniques. NLP author Robert Dilts defined it as study of structure of subjective experience.

Looking At The Basic Idea

The fundamental concept is that human senses are somewhat limited. It is not possible to perceive all parts of the world through these senses. Neuro Linguistic Programming says that the human body and mind complex which is called linguistic interact to form perception of the world and programming. In straight forward terms we can say this that people act and feel on the basis of their perception rather than the actual world around them. This is actually quite interesting when we look at it in this light because plainly what this means is that people will create destructive patterns of thought. In a bid to enhance the experience of clients , practitioners update, change or upgrade the thought patterns to achieve effective and desired behavior patterns. Of course we can add further to this school of thought but out sole intent of this article is to familiarize you with the fundamental concept of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Methods That We Employ

1-Modeling

It is a method of adopting behavior, language and beliefs of the others to build a model of what they do. If we get the same behavioral outcome from the person that we have modeled, the modeling has been successful. Modeling is not a therapy; it is applied to a wide range of learning. Understanding the patterns of one’s own behaviors in order to model is also an aspect of modeling.

2-Meta Model

It is composed of specifying questions and languages. There is a verbal pattern and its purpose is to facilitate the estimation of restrictive beliefs and thinking. By responding to the language patterns, the practitioner may aid the client to recover the information.

3-Milton Model

In order to contact the hidden things in the personality, there is a way of communication based on hypnotic changes as well as a way of using language called Milton Mode

Techniques

1-Anchoring

Neuro Linguistic Programming supporters say that the people make association between sensational and emotional conditions. If an individual is exposed to a certain stimulus in an emotional state, there will develop a connection between state and the stimulus. If this same stimulus for example occurs again, the emotional state will therefore be stimulated. So anchors can be created and stimulated to find a key to the target states.

2-Swish

This pattern is designated to disturb the pattern of thought from one that leads an unwanted behavior to one that leads to a more desired behavior.

3-Reframing

The function of perceiving is to metamorphosing the way of perceiving events hence differentiating the meaning. As the meaning differs, the optimal response and behavioral pattern will also differ due to the change of meaning. Reframing is the backbone of the most creative ways of thinking

NLP is used in conjunction within some industry association and has been utilized as an approach for some mental health officials. Neuro Linguistic Programming methods are built on modeling the medical practitioners who communicate with the patients successfully.

I trust this information has provided you with a greater insight regarding NLP and hope the content here has been both beneficial and informative.

By: Miles Jacobs

Can you remember a time when you met someone for the first time and it just seems to click? An instant bond between the two of you, an instant ‘like-ability’ or trust. You can literally FEEL, that connection!

That connection is called Rapport! It is the basis and foundation for every meaningful interaction between two or more people. Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. This allows the person the freedom to fully express their ideas and feelings and know they’ll be respected and appreciated by you. Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened and responded to, even when you dis-agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship.

A 1970 study conducted by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that 93% of our communication transpires non-verbally and unconscious. 55% of our communication is our physiology or body language, 38% is tonality or HOW we say our words, and only 7% is the content or words we choose to speak.

Researchers at the Boston University Medical School studied films of people having conversations. The researchers noticed that the people talking began (unconsciously) to co-ordinate their movements (including finger movements, eye blinks and head nods.) When they were being monitored using electroencephalographs, they found some of their brain waves were spiking at the same moment also. As the conversations progressed, these people were getting into a deeper level rapport with each other, and didn’t even have a clue to what was going on, this is because we communicate our ideas and concepts at this 93% UN-conscious level, but believe the words we speak actually hold the meaning to our communication.

NLP rapport skills teach us how to communicate at that unconscious level. Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading skills will enable you to become “like” the other person. Anthony Robbins stated: “People like each other when they tend to be like each other.” NLP teaches how to mirror and match that 55% physiology, 38% tonality and 7% predicates or process words.

The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors — body language, voice, words etc. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world.

Some people find the idea of matching another person uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage of the other person. To overcome this uneasiness, realize that matching is a natural part of the rapport building process and that you are doing it unconsciously every day with your close family and friends. Each day gradually increase your conscious use of matching at a pace that is comfortable and ethical for you. Matching done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world, to make him feel you understand him, and that there is a strong connection between the two of you.

The purpose of the following exercises is to provide some experience with the basic processes and procedures of modeling. They primarily focus on the information gathering phase of the modeling process, and cover a range of modeling skills, including “implicit” and “explicit” modeling formats, and the use of multiple perceptual positions to gather different types and levels of information about a particular performance.

Mirroring Exercise

Mirroring is a method of building a strong “second position” with someone else. It is a fundamental skill for modeling another person and for developing intuitions about the person’s internal experience. To get a sense of the influence and effects of mirroring, try out the following exercise.

1. Choose a partner, or person to converse with. Do not tell the person initially that you will be mirroring him or her during the conversation.

2. Enter into a conversation with the person, asking for his or her opinions about various subjects.

3. As you are conversing, begin to subtly mirror the other person’s physiology (including voice tone and tempo). [Hint: This can be most easily done in the context of 'active listening'; that is, reflecting back statements the person has made, by commenting, "So what you are saying is....", and then stating your understanding of the person's opinion.]

4. When you are fully mirroring, you will be sitting in the same posture, using the same types of gestures, speaking at a similar speed and volume, and in a similar voice tone range, as the other person. If you are completely mirroring the other person, you may even be breathing at the same rate and pattern as the other. Notice how it feels when you have reached this level of deep rapport.

5. One way to test your degree of rapport is by “second guessing” the other person’s opinion on a couple of subjects that you have not yet discussed. Often mirroring will give you access to information that is being unconsciously communicated and received, and you will “pick up” information about the other person without being consciously aware of how you got it. This is why mirroring is such a powerful tool for modeling.

6. To get another sense of the influence mirroring and matching has on your interaction; try out abruptly mismatching the other person, in posture, gestures, voice tone and breathing. Both you and your partner should experience quite a jolt if you do this, and feel as if your quality of rapport has changed dramatically.

7. Before concluding your conversation and letting your partner in on what you were doing, make sure you have reestablished rapport by once again physically mirroring your partner.
One way to help rapport to develop is to mirror the micro-behaviors of those we wish to influence. Any observable behavior can be mirrored, for example:

Body posture

Spinal alignment

Hand gestures

Head tilt

Blink rate

Facial expression

Energy level

Breathing rate

Vocal qualities (volume, tonality, rhythm)

Key word phrases or predicates

Anything else that you can observe…

To mirror another person, merely select the behavior or quality you wish to mirror, and then do that behavior. If you choose to mirror head tilt, when the person moves their head, wait a few moments, then move yours to the same angle. The effect should be as though the other person is looking in a mirror.

To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your right-hand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Some practitioners see a time difference between mirroring and matching. For example, if someone makes hand gestures while they are speaking, you would wait until it was your turn to speak before making similar (matching) hand gestures.

The fact that you’ve read this far means that you can see the benefits of increasing your rapport skills. Reading is sadly not enough – practice is the key to building skill, so do the exercises. When you first start the practice of mirroring, you may have to pay some conscious attention to what you’re doing. After a while, however, you will start to catch yourself doing it unconsciously. This is where you really begin to build rapport elegantly!

And at times when a gesture is idiosyncratic to that person or otherwise to obvious, you can do crossover matching. Meaning, if they adjust their glasses, and you don’t wear any, then just move your foot. When you crossover match/mirror, you match/mirror a portion of the other person’s body, with a different portion of your own body. This is best to do when you are matching someone’s rate of breathing. You can use your finger to pace the rhythm of their breath. When matching or mirroring someone’s voice, do that with their tonality, volume, and the rate at which they speak. And remember you don’t have to do all of these things, just one or two will be enough to create rapport in most cases.

Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviors they can mirror to build rapport. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe. When this is done elegantly, it is out of consciousness for the other person.

• However, a few notes of caution are appropriate:

• Mirroring is not the same as mimicry.

• It should be subtle and respectful.

• Mirroring can lead to you sharing the other person’s experience.

• Avoid mirroring people who are in distress or who have severe mental issues.

• Mirroring builds a deep sense of trust quickly, so use it with responsibility.

Practice with friends and family members to start and begin to match different aspects of their posture, gestures, voice and words. Have fun with it and notice if they begin to respond to your matching. At work or social events, start by matching one specific behavior, and once they and you feel comfortable, begin to add on another. With people whom you already have a sense of rapport, notice how often you naturally match their posture, gestures, tone of voice or words, This is because matching and mirroring comes naturally. Your outcome then should be to create rapport with anyone at any given moment, having it become automatic whenever you wish to deepen that sense of rapport.

Exercise 1
Practice mirroring the micro-behaviors of people on television (chat shows & interviews are ideal.) You may be surprised at how quickly you can become comfortable as you subtly mirror the behaviors of others.

Exercise 2
Choose a safe situation to practice mirroring an element of someone else’s behavior. When you have mirrored them for a while, and think you are in rapport with the person, scratch your nose. If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so, congratulate yourself – you have led their behavior!

Exercise 3
Increase the range of behaviors that you can mirror, and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in.)

Exercise 4
During a conversation with another person; choose one of their behaviors (e.g. breathing rate) to cross-over match with one of your behaviors (e.g. speaking rate.) Notice how quickly the sense of connection develops!

Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. When you are in conversation with another person, whether it be business or personal, take the opportunity to recite back to the person the information you’re receiving. This lets the person know that you were listening and you understand without judgment. It also allows you a chance to ensure your understanding and/or ask for clarification. Backtracking is the thread that tightens and deepens rapport. Backtracking is repeating back the essence, not verbatim, of what the person is attempting to communicate. There will be times when you’re backtracking, and the other person will add on or correct you. Being corrected will only strengthen rapport because you’ll then backtrack again and have the person really feel you understand. There is also the possibility being corrected will cause you to lose rapport.

However, losing rapport is just like losing your balance. You falter, recover, and get back into it again. When you do lose rapport you’ll find a way to regain it. There may also be times you want to be “out” of rapport with someone. For example if it isn’t healthy for you to be around certain people, you are held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. Typically people think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Although that may work I recommend mismatching. This means intentionally mismatch posture, breathing, key words/gestures, and voice quality. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. Or agree completely while breaking rapport. And all experimenting should be done in a non-critical environment without judgment.

The key element in establishing, building, deepening and maintaining rapport is your ability to pay attention to the responses you receive. One presupposition of NLP, or assumed rules is; “Communication is the response we receive back, NOT our intention given.”

Lastly; behind any technique there must be an authenticity of caring and real concern for the other person. (See “Technicians Need Not Apply,”Anchor Point 1987.) If you practice these skills and have no real interest in the other person, rapport will not develop. If you don’t pay attention to the other person it doesn’t matter how proficient you become in your NLP techniques. It is the responses you get in return and your own flexibility that hold the ultimate power in establishing, maintaining and deepening rapport.

John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…” For more information on How to develop and master “Dynamic Communication Skills,” email: John@JohnSantangelo.com or www.LAnlp.com

How did these models come to be? As we grow up, we attempt to make sense of the world based on: our interpretation of our experiences, what we are told by others – particularly those in authority or those we respect (parents, teachers, religious leaders, …) – and what we tell ourselves.

Interpretation of Our Experiences. As children, we make decisions that will in some way keep us safe – avoid or minimize being abused (physically or verbally) or being abandoned. And often we assume we are the cause of whatever happened – e.g. the untimely death of our parents – and in so doing, vow at an unconscious level to never do that again. We establish mental models of the world that are intended to protect us from causing such upset in the future. As a result, we put ourselves at the effect of whatever happens and on the path of being a victim. As children, these mental models may serve us well. Yet, some of us carry these models, which operate at an unconscious level, into adulthood and wonder why we get the results we do and are not living the life we desire.

What We are Told by Others. Generally, parents or other adults are well-meaning in their disciplining or teaching of children. However the behaviors they select and words they use are often inappropriate and when interpreted through the eyes and ears of a young child take on a different meaning. Consider the parent who desperately wants to see their child succeed and says to their child, for example “If you keep acting this way, you will grow up to be no good.” This type of motivation may satisfy the parent’s need; however the child may hear and begin to develop a mental model of ‘I am no good.’ A recent study by researchers at Iowa State University found in a typical family with children aged two to eight that the ratio of negative to positive comments said by parents to their children was 13:1. That is for every positive comment, children heard thirteen negative comments. If as a child, you lived in this type of environment, what mental model did you form about yourself, others and the world around you?

What We Tell Ourselves. We are talking to ourselves all of the time – often at an unconscious level. We tell ourselves how wonderful we are or how badly we messed up. For many of us, negative thoughts are far, far more frequent than positive thoughts. Although each thought by itself is insignificant, these thoughts can build up over time – just like the insignificant tiny coral polyps that come together to form massive coral reefs – thus forming barriers to what we truly want and desire in life.

To overcome this conditioning, we need to become consciously aware of our mental models and explore the origins of our thoughts and the beliefs and values (which are often not ours but someone else’s) that we assumed during our childhood. Begin by paying attention to your daily thoughts and judgments about yourself and about others. As you do, get curious about the underlying beliefs and values that you are operating from, especially their origin and explore the possibility that these thoughts, judgments, beliefs and values may be incorrect. You can also explore the positive intention behind these beliefs and values (e.g. safety) and consider if the positive intention is still relevant (e.g. worked for you as a child but not as an adult) or if it can be obtained in a different manner – a manner that delivers fewer negative side-effects and more positive benefits. On a daily basis, you may wish to experiment with new behaviors – not dictated by your old thoughts – and notice the changes you can make in your interpretation of what is and isn’t possible for you. As you implement new behaviors, you may not always be successful. At these times, remember the words of Thomas Alva Edison “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

This article is based on Roger’s book Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You , which you can buy from Amazon.com.

Unlike other schools of psychotherapeutic thought, which concentrate on how problems arise, NLP started from studying people who are exceptionally good at what they do, and finding out how they do it so that anyone can get similar results by doing the same things. NLP is the study of how people organise their thinking, feeling, language and behaviour to produce the results they do. NLP has a theoretical basis the core of which is that it is a way of thinking about people which has proved practical and effective in a wide range of applications, contexts and situations.

Richard Bandler, one of the original founders of the NLP methodology, has this to say about NLP: “NLP is an attitude characterised by the sense of curiosity and adventure and a desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences a person channels from within”.

To make the most of anchoring with NLP, it is important to really engage in the experience and make it wonderfully vivid in your mind and to then also put effort into recalling it when you first activate your NLP anchor for a few times. Linguistic refers to the language – pictures, sounds, feelings (kinaesthetic), tastes, smells and words – that you use to remember and make sense of a particular experience (or to forecast a future experience). A well formed outcome enables us to create specific pictures, sounds, feelings and words.

Having NLP’s well formed outcomes for your life can create well being in business, our personal lives, in relationships and so much more. Although NLP has many “direct” business applications, I believe that its most powerful use is for individuals to improve their self-awareness and to develop greater skills in their self-management, communication and interpersonal dealings. As the coaching profession has grown, NLP Practitioners have discovered they already have skills for coaching that put them easily in the top 5-10% of all coaches, regardless of what organization supplied their training.

If we were to think of the brain as a computer running a large number of ‘programs’ (the brain’s ‘software’), NLP teaches the client to reorganise or re-pattern the way that these ‘programs’ are run to enable dramatic transformations and changes to take place. There are a large number of powerful techniques that NLP practitioners use to change the structure of how the client subjectively experiences reality and to facilitate permanent and positive changes.

By: lledod

It can be easier than you think to “get that feeling back.” That’s exactly the type of situation when you’d want to use the NLP process known as setting an anchor.

How to Set an Anchor

Start by just daydreaming about how it felt back then. Jot down notes if you can. Then answer these type questions (feel free to ask any questions you like).

How did it feel overall? Is there anywhere on your body you felt it strongly? What kind of feeling was it? Strong, mild, fluttery, tingling? What? Do everything you can to recreate exactly how it was for you back then.

How were you sitting or standing? How did you carry yourself?

What did you hear from others? Compliments? Encouragement?

Do you remember anything negative? Write it down.

Do you recall what you saw? Were you in a certain place? Was the sky a certain color, etc. Get every detail you can as vividly as possible.

You considered going into the health field? What type of work, exactly?

Write down every detail, and when you really feel it, just like you felt it back then, reach down and squeeze your knee.

That’s creating an anchor. Then, try again, all the same steps as above, ask yourself the same questions and then this time, remembering as intensly as you can, squeeze your knee again. It may sound silly but it really works.

To test if it’s working, stand up, shake it off – think of the last movie you saw (think of anything else, just to get your mind clear). Get all the thoughts out of your mind, and when your mind is a blank, sit down, and squeeze your knee. Your thoughts will probably go to the good feelings, and memories of what it felt like when you were getting in shape that time.

That’s how you “set an anchor.”

Anchors like this are how you switch thoughts from negative to positive in the blink of an eye. If you are feeling bad, you just say, “Hey, this isn’t right,” reach down and squeeze your knee, and whoosh, you have those memories again.

The memories are something that can help put those feelings front and center for you again, and that’s what you want, to get back those feelings. Once you have those feelings, even if just a bit, you’ll become motivated to do what it takes to produce those feelings more and more, and maybe even pursue that a career in a health field.

~~ Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of the free e-book: Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com

Article Word Count 978, average reading time 3.9 minutes.

The words we use either encourage us to be creative and optimistic or they shut us down, give us a smaller view of possibilities, and weaken us. The words we use define our personal reality to ourselves as well as to others, and they have a very real effect on what we allow ourselves to think. The words we use are the way we tell ourselves what we deserve from life.

BUT

Have this ever been said to you? “This is a good idea, but –”

Get it? When I said “This is a good idea” you were probably sorting for some time when you got complimented on an idea.

Then I said “but –” and you had to cringe a little.

We’ve all been taught that no matter what someone says, if they add a “but –” we know to brace ourselves, here comes the little twist that takes away most of the meaning from the beginning of the sentence.

Happens all the time, doesn’t it? I mean, I know that you and I would NEVER do that to others, yet people sure do it to us on a constant basis.

And what’s even more interesting, people do it to themselves! Just listen the next time a discussion comes up about what someone wants, for example:

“I’d like to lose weight, but –”

“I’d like a promotion, but –”

“We could go see your parents on Saturday, but –”

Interesting, huh? What follows “but” is almost always either something that wipes out a compliment, or an excuse for why people can’t get what they want.

So here’s a little tip for you. What happens to these sentences if we substitute “and” for “but”?

“This is a good idea, and –” Sounds like the idea may even be used, doesn’t it?

“I’d like to lose weight, and –” And here’s how I’m going to do it!

“I’d like a promotion, and –” And this is how I’m going to get it.

“We could go see your parents on Saturday, and –” And we can have dinner by the river on the way home, or we can stop at the new shop I wanted to see on the way there, or whatever alternative comes to mind.

“But” limits possibilities, and tells you what’s wrong and WHY you can’t do something. “And” includes more choices, and leads to thoughts of HOW you will do something.

They are the language of two different worlds, two different ways of life.

Which world’s language do you prefer??

Which leads us to the next “little word.”

WHY

The problem with “why” is that it leads to “because.”

When you ask “why?” You are almost demanding a story that will explain “why” things are as they are. And you’ll answer that question with a story of why things are that way, whether they are really like that or not!

“Why can’t I get a break?”

Because I already decided that I will never get a break, so I must be a loser.

“Why are people such rude drivers?”

Because if I accept the assumption that “all people are rude drivers” I can complain and whine and be miserable instead of just dealing with the fact that some people don’t handle traffic pressures very well.

“I just don’t understand why you would want that –”

Because if you want that and I don’t want you to have it and you can’t persuade me to endorse your choices, I get to control you.

Okay. When I said you were a loser I was just speaking on behalf of the subconscious of people who think this way. The question “why” is useful to two year olds, and perhaps detectives on a case or scientists in the lab.

Not so much for adults.

You want to know what’s an even more useful word for most of us, most of the time?

The word is “how.” As in, “How can I create a break for myself?” Or,

“How can I best deal with a rude driver, if I encounter one?” Or,

“How can what I want have any impact on you, and what can I do to ease that?”

Again, two different words from two different outlooks. “Why” invites you to accept whatever the stated reality is, and then demands that you make up a story that explains it. Probably a waste of time, unless you get your jollies making up stories about unimportant stuff. “Why” turns your view to the past, looking for causes and people to blame.

On the other hand, “How” is an action word. It looks to the future. “How” can I get what I want?” Or, “How can I mesh my desires with another person’s desires?”

Good question. And it leads you in a direction of action. And actions are the stuff of life.

SHOULD

“I should have done it differently.”

“You should do it like they do.”

“What should I do?”

This time I have no suggestion for an alternative word. I just have a caution about this one.

We all have a little parent’s voice in our heads, treating us like we’re still wearing diapers. And this word is surely a parent’s word, telling us what we “should” do.

“Should” and even worse, “should have” will make you miserable. They are the words of dissatisfaction and helplessness and regret and guilt.

Try this. “I want” instead of “I should.” Even if you add the same ending, you get more power — more ADULT power, from saying “I WANT to do it differently next time” or, “I WANT to be on time” Instead of “I shouldn’t be late.”

Think about the words you use — both to others and more importantly, to yourself.

Especially these three thought-stopping little words.

Seeya,

Tom Hoobyar

Pavlov developed the notion of stimulus response by giving food to his dogs and simultaneously ringing a bell. In time, the dogs came to associate the sound of the bell with food and would salivate when they heard the bell even if no food was present. Here the stimulus is the bell and the response is salivating.

In NLP, anchoring refers to a stimulus response, similar to the link that Pavlov established. The stimulus (anchor or trigger) may come from your external environment (someone touching your shoulder or seeing a red light) or be an internal representation. In either case, it triggers a conscious or unconscious internal response/feeling which may result in a behavioral response.

We all have lots of different anchors. When I was a teenager, a friend and I spent a week together in Bermuda. While on the trip, I regularly used Coppertone suntan lotion. Many years later, when I smell this suntan lotion, no matter where I am or what I am doing, I immediately remember the good time that I had. This is an example of an external olfactory (smell) anchor that generates an internal response.

The following are other examples of anchors, can you add to this list?

* Red traffic light – external visual.
* Police siren – external auditory.
* A gentle touch by a loved one – external kinesthetic.
* The taste of a favourite food – external gustatory.
* You are taking a course and the instructor says the word ‘test’ – external auditory digital (word).
* An internal visual representation (picture) of your children – internal visual.
* Your mother says your full name in a certain tone of voice – an external auditory and auditory digital.

The Swish Pattern started with a cue picture (trigger) and linked this to a new self-image with certain behaviours. This is an example of changing an anchor by changing a response to an existing trigger.

Anchors can be very useful and they can also be counterproductive. Most anchors operate outside of your conscious awareness and have an impact on your mental state or behaviour whether or not you are aware of them. Useful anchors are those that generate pleasant memories or put you into an empowered state (e.g. motivated or confident), or that result in a useful behaviour (red light, you stop the car). Examples of counterproductive anchors are:

* You are a fully functioning adult until you step across the threshold of your parent’s house, at which time you may take on certain less than resourceful behaviours.
* You are told that your boss wants to see you in her office in five minutes.
* Someone says something that results in you remembering an unpleasant memory that leads to an emotional response.
* Your spouse says something to you in a certain tone of voice and body language and you react in a less than resourceful manner.

* Someone touches you unexpectantly and this brings up past memories of an unpleasant event.
* A coworker, who continually brings up problems without solutions, begins to speak and you say something to yourself such as “Oh no, not again.” and begin to tune him out.

These anchors if undesired can be changed or eliminated by various NLP techniques.

And NLP is Much more than that!

This article is based on Roger’s book Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You

By: Steve Andreas & Connirae Andreas – NLP Trainers

Every pattern has many antecedents, and most patterns continue to be developed and refined after the first successes. Philosophers have thought about time for millennia, even before Heraclitus said, “You can’t step in the same river twice”, some two thousand years ago. More recently, Peter McKeller’s book ‘Imagination and Thinking’ (1957) included detailed illustrations of some of the different ways that people represent the flow of time as various kinds of lines or paths in space.

People have recognized for centuries that different people tend to be more oriented toward past, present, or future. Edward T. Hall’s book, ‘The Silent Language’ (1959) includes abundant examples – both individual and cultural – but without a hint of why these differences exist.

In the early 1980′s NLP training included the categories of “in time” and ‘through time” as aspects of a person’s relatively fixed “meta-programming” – again with no explanations of the underlying experiential structure.

The concept of submodalities had been part of NLP since the late 1970′s, but they were presented primarily as a way of enhancing experiences. Although association / dissociation was the key element in many of the more effective standard NLP patterns that had been taught for years, it was not clearly described as a submodality shift. It was only in 1983 that Richard Bandler explicitly began to reveal the structure of submodalities in general. He taught how submodality shifts could be used to change habits (swish pattern), change beliefs, and create motivation or understanding, and how submodality thresholds could be used to break locked-in patterns like compulsions, or to lock in new changes. In short, he outlined how submodalities comprise one way of understanding the underlying structure of all experience.

We were so impressed with the power and generativity of this approach that we immediately began to ask ourselves, “What else is there that we don’t yet know about”? We were convinced that submodalities had more potential than previously recognized in the field. We asked ourselves, “What would happen if we investigated the submodality structure of Meta-Program sorts? What about finding the underlying structure of time, and of being past-, present-, or future-oriented.

One way innovations occur is by taking two or more separate paradigms, putting them together, and finding out what emerges. That’s what we did with meta-programs and submodalities. This thinking led to the Criteria Shift pattern, and changing internal and external reference, as well as Timeline work. Putting “time orientation” with Submodalities had far more potential than we guessed in advance. We discovered that different people had widely differing Timelines, and that the shape of the Timeline in space not only determined whether a person was “in time” or “through time”, past-, present-, or future-oriented, but determined many other aspects of personality as well. We found that by changing this spatial representation of events in time, we could make profound and very pervasive and generative changes in personality and orientation – without changing the individual events located on the Timeline. We combined the patterns we had learned from Richard with these additional ones we’d discovered to form the first Advanced Submodalities Training in March, 1984.

In many NLP patterns, we had noticed that location is a very powerful “driving” submodality; it is significant in Timeline work, criteria change work, and belief change work, and in aligning perceptual positions. It was Robert Dilts who recently offered us an interesting way to understand this. He pointed out that all three major representational systems overlap; in location. Color, for example, is only in the visual system, pitch is only in the auditory system, and temperature is only in the kinesthetic. However, all sights, sounds, and feelings have some location in space. Changing the location of a representation is often more powerful because it changes all systems simultaneously. This is the basis for the powerful impact of changing the location of one’s perspective in association / dissociation, and its detailed refinement in physically aligning the three perceptual positions; Self, Observer, and Other.

At the June 1985 NANLP conference in Denver, Colorado, Steve made a three-hour presentation on Timelines, entitled “Just in Time”. Among the participants were Wyatt Woodsmall, and Leslie Cameron-Bandler, who commented at the time on the usefulness of this new approach.

In his VAK interview (Fall 1991) Tad James comments, “I learned about time line from Wyatt (Woodsmall)”. When Steve first met Tad in October 1986, we had been teaching about Timelines in public seminars for 2 1/2 years. At that time, Tad described to Steve his work with selecting individual traumatic experiences on the Timeline, and reorienting the person on their existing timeline in regard to those experiences in order to change the person’s response to them.

Often people speak of Timeline work as if it is one thing. However there are two very major types of timeline work, both very useful. One set of methods has to do primarily with utilizing the existing timeline. The method described above is one example. You can change a traumatic memory on the timeline by reorienting in time, or by adding in resources, etc. The “decision destroyer”, developed a few years later by Richard Bandler is another very impactful approach. These methods have in common that you don’t need to know very much about the person’s existing timeline to use them with full effectiveness.

An entirely different category of Timeline work has to do with changing the structure of the Timeline itself. In doing this kind of work, you find out in detail how a client’s Timeline is now structured, what he wants to have different in his life, and then reorient the Timeline so as to support the kind of person he wants to be. When the structure of the Timeline itself is changed, the person literally lives in a new relationship to all his experiences in time – not just the traumatic ones, or the resourceful ones, but all of them.

For instance, most people have their Timeline arranged so that the future is somewhere in the same quadrant as visual construct. This allows us to creatively construct alternative futures that are rich with possibility. However, some people see their future in the visual remembered quadrant. One typical result of this is that their future representations are relatively specific and fixed, because they have to use remembered imagery to represent the future. This can result in much disappointment, since future reality seldom conforms to the inflexible and constrained expectations of visual memory. If the past accumulation of disappointment is resolved, the person will feel better in the present, but will continue to experience that the future is rigidly fixed, because they are still seeing it in their visual memory quadrant. One man who had this kind of arrangement commented, “This makes perfect sense: “change history” was always really easy for me, but it never made my future different because that was still fixed”. Resolving past problems is no guarantee that they won’t recur in the future. However, if the future Timeline is changed to the visual construct quadrant, the person will begin to make future images that are more creative and variable, and more responsive to changes in the world around them, resulting in far more generative possibilities and far less disappointment.

Although it is quite easy to change a person’s Timeline, it takes some experience to know what kinds of changes might be most worthwhile to try out, and any changes need to be tried out very tentatively, with full attention to ecology. Changing a Timeline is literally reorganizing all a person’s life experiences, so it must be done with extreme care and sensitivity to be sure the resulting changes will be generative. For some examples of how to elicit an change Timelines, see our books, ‘Heart of the Mind’, ‘Change Your Mind and Keep the Change’, and Connirae’s new videotape ‘Changing Timelines’ (1992).

First Published in the VAK International NLP Newsletter Vol 10, No 1. Winter 1991-1992

© 1991 Steve and Connirae Andreas