Introspection and Retrospection

Managing Children's Behavioral Challenges: Insights

2023-11-17T00:10:00.000-08:00

Life is Beautiful !

2019-07-20T09:50:00.001-07:00

Questions abundant yet left unanswered
Reasons known yet left unpondered
Heart feels restive and calm is a myth
Wandering eyes search for dreams to live with

Caught in rain, searching for a shelter
Scared to stop as the memories were bitter
But the ray of light brings me hope
Like a falling stone held by a rope

What came as a challenge is now easy to take
Because life looks beautiful, if I try to make !

An Evening of November

2019-07-20T09:46:00.001-07:00

It was just another day in November
I had a mundane start and was hoping a similar end
Must I be imagining or was it an instant click
Our eyes met and the clock missed a tick

Ignoring for a while, that hovering gaze
I stationed myself to enjoy the phase
I could see him getting restless
But could not draw the strength
To find a suitable reason for to have a chat at length

Interesting antics yet no will to start
Acting to be busy, he thought was his art
Eager as I was, I had myself contained
Even though it looked too hard to be restrained

So I pretended to be focused and decided to wait
For the time that was perfect and accurate
But destiny as we say has something in store
Hence a common interest let our hearts pour
Words went flowing and weaving by itself
The time looked still and we forgot our self

As one was listening, the other went on
The day came to the closure demanding to move on
We had conversations and at that it was ethereal
Makes me still ponder if it was a dream or real !

My Little Sunshine

2017-05-22T09:59:00.002-07:00

The Sun is here to stay
Till the pendulum doesn't forget to sway
Years have passed and years will go
But, it possesses the shine with no ado

The days are donned with might of its light
And night casts the reflection merely of its plight !

To en live a mortal and give it a testimony
She's like the sun as bright and sunny
The persona so scintillating, it brings me close to God
With non-verbal incantations, she makes all people nod.

What is in her that makes me go so rave
Where has she got the poise to tact even with knave
She etches the soul that is worth a reminiscence
And I want no more but her presence

The apple of my eye, and the beat of my heart
She's an enchantress, and at that a master in her art
Love can't alone define what she means to me
In millions she's the only one my eyes want to see

The Forgotten Story

2017-05-22T09:03:00.001-07:00

Whoa... It's been a long long time since we parted our ways. Precisely 5 long years. But as there's saying you can't go too far away from the one you love.

So hey all you people out there, here I'm back with my writing. Here we go !!!

Well, I'm not a South Indian movie fan, mostly because of exaggerated movie plots, forced comedy, loud expressions of the actors and over the top action sequences. Not that I have not seen and enjoyed some of the movies yet I kept myself at a distance from the lot. But for once my perspective has changed.

I was wrong when I thought I didn't watch South Indian movies for their over the top everything; because when I analysed myself I figured I do not enjoy any movie for that matter falling in the above genre. And many of us must have mutual feelings.

I watched Bahubali: The Beginning few months back on a heavy recommendation of a friend. That proves my apprehension for the South Indian movies which took me 2 years to finally watch a super saga. When I saw this movie first, I just watched it without any opinion for the movie. But yes it definitely gave me a reason to wait for the second part. So now here I was with the release of the movie and yet I was quite patient to wait till the third week of the release for the crowd to taper which obviously did not happen and so without further wait I finally went and watched Bahubali: The Conclusion a couple of days back.

While waiting for my turn, I went to check for the reviews. Of course, the media went gaga about its box office collection, but then there were articles that talked explicitly about the flaws the movie has. The scenes that defy the laws of physics, how the plot was so weak, how the strong woman like Sivagami went so gullible, how Devasena a fierce warrior princess succumbed to the loss of her husband, and many such faults that went unnoticed under the grandeur of the visuals.

My take on this subject:

Yes, I agree that the movie had flaws and some over the top moments [one such being the flying boat]. Yet I would say it is one of the best movies of its time. Why? Because, the history is touched very delicately and executed genuinely. I remember the climax of Bajirao Mastani and I cringe even today. When the whole history speaks of an years gap between their death, Mr Bhansali audaciously showed them dying together just to showcase their true love. Well, that's his share of flaws yet it was a blockbuster and an epic. Then, we had Mohenjodaro which had Persian horses and gladiator sandals that came way post the existence of Mohenjodaro itself. Still an epic!

And then, we have Bahubali. We spoke a lot about the unrealistic power he had [thanks to VFX]. But don't we believe that our very own Hanuman could lift a mountain and fly to Lanka with the Sanjeevani plant for Lakshman? Don't we believe in Rama who could aim at fish's eye looking at it from a reflection in a basin of water; a man of his words; an ideal son, brother, husband and a leader? Yet we forget to notice the strength and righteousness of Bahubali. Just believed and bullied the VFX. We lose our imagination here to believe that thousand years back there may have been a man so just and about perfect that his loss was mourned by all his people.We may have a man as cunning and jealous as Duryodhana [Bhallaladeva]; a royal lady as brave and strong as Kaikeyi [Sivagami]; a princess as fierce as Sita who could fight adverse situations with pride and honour [Devasena].

For me, Bahubali is not just a movie that entertains, it is a movie that revives our ancient history and churns the whole world. It speaks of the richness of our lifestyle and the dharma that our culture is built upon. [It's not BJP driven thought by the way]. Instead of criticizing it, let's try to find out the source of inspiration for this story and in the process get inspired by our own values that we've forgotten for a long time now.

A Promise of Tomorrow

2012-06-02T06:32:00.002-07:00

The moment when you knock my door
I was left in conundrum if let you in
Or to let you go!

World seemed strange and the heart sour
With millions apprehensions and nightmare ajar
Scared as I was, went back to slumber
Sweating insanely in the month of November

Winter waved hands bidding goodbye
Introducing summer to paint the golden sky
Now was the time to hit the bull's eyes
And to face the fate, not criticize

Burden to me as I bore you
I never thought I would come
Out of the blue
But the experience of your first kick
Played a beautiful trick
My gloomy face lit like a full moon
Giving a promise of an enchanting life soon!

When the time is right !

2011-01-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

Never too early, never too late

Journey begins and ends with fate

Losing your faith, believing in myth

Don't latch the lock of Prosperity kit

Believe in your wishes before you desire

The Universe is with you as your Sire

Dare to dream and act to the best

Effort pays for your gut-test

So! Follow the intuition, don't lay back

Get rid of gremlins: the misery sack

There may come a time, your brethren deceive

But that is when, your strength'll conceive

Life needs a break, rest for a while

And when you're ready, lead the running mile

Leave the fear, feel light !

You'll receive the gift, when the time is right !!

Dawn and Me

2010-08-21T08:44:00.000-07:00

The first light of the sun on earth

Light breeze drowned gaiety and mirth

The world when the eyes peep

From the long night's sleep.

Brings me close to bliss and divine

Is the road to the holy shrine.

Legacy of Hypocrisy - Part 2

2010-07-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

And does only one of those parts know who it is???

We form part of what the alchemists call the Anima Mundi, the soul of the world. The truth is that if the Anima Mundi were merly to keep dividing, it would keep growing, but it would also become gradually weaker. That is why, as well as dividing into two, we also find ourselves. And that process of finding ourselves is called Love. Because when a soul divides, it always divides into a male part and a female part.

That's how the Book of Genesis explains it: the soul of Adam was split in two, and Eve was born out of him.In each life, we feel a mysterious obligation to find at least one of those Soul Mates. The Greater Love that separated them feels pleased with the Love that brings them together again.

But how will i know who my Soul Mate is???

By taking risks.
By risking failures, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search for Love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end.

Is it possible to meet more than one Soul Mate in each life?

Yes. The essence of Creation is one and one alone. And the essence is called Love.
Love is the force that brings us back together, in order to condense the experience dispersed in many lives and many parts of the world.
We are responsible for the whole Earth because we do not know where they might be. Those Soul Mates we were from the beginning of time. If they are well, then we, too, will be happy. If they are not well, we will suffer, however unconsciously, a portion of their pain. Above all, though, we are responsible for reencountering, at least once in every incarnation, the Soul Mate who is sure to cross our path. Even if it is only for a matter of moments, because those moments bring with them a Love so intense that it justifies the rest of our days.
We can also allow our Soul Mate to pass us by, without accepting him or her, or even noticing. Then we will need another incarnation in order to find that Soul Mate. And because of our selfishness, we will be condemned to the worst torture of humankind ever invented for itself: LONELINESS.

Courtsey: Brida by Paulo Coelho

************************************************************************

Having said that, I was wondering that if soul were divided into two, regardless of Religion or Caste, why are we drawing boundaries for finding a soul mate? If we all believe ‘Marriages are made in heaven’, so does the soul knows that since my one half is in this religion I've to incarnate in the same religion ? Why such a broad thought is reduced in orthodox/superstitious paradigms ? And if we were bound to find a soul mate from a religion we belong, are we sure we will find him; or will it be a compromise by force ?

When this world was created with one soul which shared it’s half with another body, did they ever had any choice to look for ? No, they didn’t. But they knew they were for each other. Now when the world is crowded with so many souls being part of that one soul, we do have choices. As many choices as we want to look out for. And yet, there are so many bottom lines being drawn to stop one. Why ?

Religions took birth in order to prove the superiority of one sect and their beliefs. And likewise, Castes and Sub-castes came into existence. Strong ones started a move and the weaker followed, based on what suited them best to escape tortures and death.

A great Philosopher is said to have their own ideas about the world which they abide. The same can be described for the Destroyers of such belief. They too have different ideas and opinion about the world. The only difference is: one helps broaden the way of thinking and the other is menace to the mankind. And most often do we fall as pawns in such artful hands.

Marriage is a prey to this artifice. Here is an exerpt of what Kartick (a friend) told me once. Both being free thinkers, we were discussing that an intricate understanding is required to prepare oneself for marriage. Though it looked like he purged out all his sentiments against marriage but what he said can be related well:

“’Can I find myself in a marriage? Will I stick to it? Do I want it because I beleive in it or because I'm afraid of being alone?'
Answers to those questions won't come from anyone else. and those are the make / break ones.
It's as simple as saying, I go to work because I love what I do, even if it doesnt pay much. versus saying, I go to work because I'm afraid I wont get money to buy a car tomorow if I don't go.
Why do I need a car? Because everyone has one. How will I look without it?

Unfortunately, our society propagates hypocrisy of this highest order.”

X-----------------X-------------------X--------------------X---------------------X

I know every individual have their own set of ideals for doing certain things in a certain manner. So I am sure most of the people, like me, who have not fallen in love have to vouch for the last resort ‘arrange marriage’. If asked the reason, they either are not sure about it or for to keep parent's happy. Or, may be because this is nature's law regardless of how you would face the future with all the apprehensions and insecurities.

Why do we need to do something if it doesn't make you happy? Ultimately, you'll have to bear the fruit of the seed you sow: sour or sweet. Still you'd do it to make others happy. But are you convinced? If yes, why rebellious resolutions like “I’ll never let this happen to my child."; "I won't let my child suffer."; "He’ll have all freedom he wants.”; etc. clouds you ? Okay agreed, all parents become protective and conservative for their kids. But being protective and being conservative are two different things altogether. Sometimes I feel, parents find a satisfaction in condescending their children - A form of superiority if not by respect, then by position.

So what do we do? We fight. Even though its hard to surpass the realms of social barricade. When Shahrukh Khan marries Gauri, everyone talks about his unbiased love and their happy life. But what happens to our parents when we decide something of that sort ? Why an all-emotional-blackmail saga begins in the household ?

Pusillanimity rules out the rebellion-self leaving no gusto/spirit to fight. Now, one has to make a move. So do we keep sitting, waiting for an inspiration or should we be the inspiration ?

Legacy of Hypocrisy - Part 1

2010-07-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

Recently, I’d been to a marriage party with my parents and hence had to stand face-to-face with society of flamboyant men and women. There were aunties who had their children married and enjoying their peace of mind. There also were some aunties who were coveting to be one throwing the party for their children. And together, they all were busy talking about their tension-free and tension-borne experiences. So, I was left feeling out of the place and was just given a corner glance once in a while until they discovered whose daughter I was. And thus it started! Whoever, came to speak to my mother, one obvious was definitely asked, “When are you getting your daughter married?”

I found it quite amusing, for why were they so worried about my marriage? They are not feeding me nor do they give a damn if I am married or divorced or single. In fact, most of them feel happy because they get a sensational topic to discuss. Finding my life as a source of entertainment for them. Yet, when they speak, it sounds as if no one cares as much as they do for me. If so is the case, why don’t they find me a guy and help my mom free from her stress? Well, shrewdness surrounds us all [and hence I am no different at times since I am a part of it too].

So, in yet another conversation with my friend, we were talking about the hassles of staying single by will. I have friends who are married now irrespective of reason-cum-mode of marriage, i.e. either love or arranged. And so I have also seen that not all relations are made on choices but compromised on options too. So the residue of such relations turns out to be happy, accepting or adjusting.

Now, regardless of the statistics (since I've not checked), there has to be some estrangements seen in every relationships. Anyway, we were working out on questions like: what makes one like the other person, what changes the feelings sometimes, why we are so apprehensive in arranged marriages and why sometimes it ends perfect? Believe me it was quite a mind boggling talk session and the conclusion is yet to be decided. [I'd read somewhere "A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking." Probably we are not tired as of now.] Society has made so many complications that it becomes a vague approach to fit into our self-defined beliefs/maxims.

He said, if we are meeting a girl/guy, we needed to give time to understand each other. Considering the fact that she/he is trying to sacrifice things just to spend time with you. But have you ever come across a dilemma where in, it is impossible for you to return mutual feeling seeing the person in front of you is trying her/his best to win over you. You may feel obliged or sympathy or pity but not Love. You may think me mean but it was hard to face. I feel when two people meet something should click. There should be some spark that helps ignite the fire between two souls.** And then you feel “May be he/she is the one”. This phenomenon is universally termed as 'Soul mate'.

Now now, this is when Hypocrisy has an important role play. Okay, let me take you to the origin of humanity and civilization, bringing Science & Religion together. If you were unknown of the fact that, in Book of Genesis the soul of Adam was split in two, and Eve was born out of him. Aan haan...but before we go on, let's take a small tea-break ! After the break, we'll be going for a small tour with Paulo Coelho and understand the concept of Soul mates. And find out if we really understand the meaning !

See ya !

** P.S: 'Spark' doesn't mean an integral ingredient of falling in love, but just the same frequency level. And I don't think it's so hard to find. You just need to realize that your views on most things are almost similar. Which gives you an idea if you can build a bridge of Understanding or not.

Milkman's Lament

2010-06-30T02:33:00.000-07:00

P.S : This was a post(2 yrs back) by a friend in a poetry forum( of orkut where we are members), and I just continued with the flow. Enjoy !

Rohan:
e ka hui gawa hamaar manma,
jab tohar nikat hum aawey,
na so sakey...na jaag sakey,
sirf tohaar soch mein gaawey.

humhe gaaii(cow) ko hai nahaana ..
lekin hum banaye bahaana..
yeh kaisan hai dukh hamaara
kaise milega mera sukh
jab jindagi hii gai hai rukk!

is gawaar ko koi baithaye
aur isak ka dard samjhaaye
tu hi aaja meri gorii
na toh hum sunenge
yamraaj ki lori...

lekin tuh sasuri kahey..
hum hai gawaar...
tuh hameh na chaahe
kaisen samjhau humaar pyaar..

O para-likkhit jamaana..
O koi bataawey...
Isak karey parr isak naa miley
toh hum kahan jaawey?

(sniff)......(sniff)

Madhuri:
arey, tu rowat sobha na det
isak mili ik din bhar pet
jo ab tak dikhawe hai nakhra
kal khud hi banegi tohri bakra ;)

Rohan :
Humhe usse humri bakri nahi banaana
naa usse hai humaara pairr dabaana..
hum toh sirf usko karengey pooja
tohaar bina nahin koi dooja..

Madhuri :
bakri unka hum na bolat
tohar pyaar k hum nahi taulat
tohra khatir u bani rahi devi
par badla maa u tohra k sevi

Rohan :
Tohar soch sach muchh madhuri hai..
lekin hamaar jeevan abhi tak adhuri hai
tuu hii apnaale humhe o gori..
tujhko banaalu hamaari chori...

?????
:)

Madhuri :
hum to bana lun tohe apna
par toot na jaye tohra sapna
tum to aapnaoge humko samajh pyaari
hoyi kaa jab hum padab toh pe bhaari
pyaar k jagah karab ladai
durr hi rah,
isi mein hai tohri bhalai

Rohan :
arre o bawri
e ka kahna
humka sirf tohar saath rehna
humri upar tu naa hoyegi bhaari
hum hain sabse siyaana bihaari

Madhuri :
tohri tarah hum bhi hun bihari
upar se hun aaj ki naari
hum na karat koi aana kaani
humne to di bas toka chetawani

Rohan :
arre u chhori..
madhuuri meri gori..
humka sab manjoor hai..
ismein hamra kaa kasur hai..
tohaar woh kandhe-se-girta hua kapda (off the shoulder...no offence)
dekhey toh manma khayal aawey lafda..

Madhuri :
mann to hai chanchal
jald ho jawe machal
par kuch to kar lo istemaal
dimaag, jisse rakhi hai sambhal ;)

Rohan :
ek gori humaar dilma aaweyyyyy
sab koi usse madhurii bulaawayyyy
lekin madhuri ko kaisen hum batayeyyyy
ke mann karey uspar hum humri zindagi lutaweyyy

Madhuri :
ee kaun madhuri ki baat karat ho
samne ek khadi aur parai ko dekhat ho
hum to det rahi aapan khati chetawani
baaki jao kar liyo apni mann maani

Rohan:
hum toh karat hai tohri baat
kaahey maarat ho jigar mein laat
jao hum tujhko saadi karne ko nahi kehtey
akeley hi thay...akeley hi rehtey!!

((actually gotta go...been fun...biharis are the coolest...i know it...

Like they say..."aara zila gharba...toh kaun chii ka darba?"))

Madhuri :
are tum to dil pe le gaye chore
humne to kaha yun daal na dore
karni hai saadi to karenge
par pehle jaan len,
phir saath rahenge

Rohan :

saath rahenge?
e kya baat hai?
tu itni siyaani hai..
toh hum tohar saath hai...

....and so started the first Bihaari live in relationship.....

Madhuri :

saath rahenge ka samjhe nahi arth
kehna tha mera sab vyarth
jao tumka jahan jana hai
humne to bas kaha
saadi se pehle paas aana hai

....Lolz...but I am strictly against the idea........

Rohan :
Saadi ke pehle paas aana..
lekin isma hai kya thikaana..
ke tu hamri dilko khus karne ki baad
bhaag jaaye humri gaaii ke saath?

"mein apni gaaii ko rotey nahi dekh sakta.."
(Avtaar 1983..Rajesh Khanna)

Madhuri :
tumhri gaaii ka hume ka karenge
toka pet pe laat maar k
kaise chain se rahenge
humne to kahi thi bas itni baat
janne k liye zaruri hai thoda saath

Rest in Peace

2010-06-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

Darkness has sheathed the world with bleak
Endless walk and thoughts are just as sleek

Unaware of consequence, performing the rife
While fear the presence of unseen dangling knife

Hidden in the mist of tarnished conscience
And born with purpose of unknown vengeance

When started to learn the first lessons of morale
The soul is bidding adieu before knowing it's role.

It questions to itself, "if I was to die
Why was I mired in the world of sly ? "

But now that it's free, away from this tiny piece
May it be happy and rest in peace !

Introspection and Retrospection: Walk with the God

2010-06-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

Recently i was talking to an investor who likes taking risk,calculated risk. Surprisingly, he suggested me (i dont read books..:))to read a book - I think it was "Fool of Randomness". This book talks about the existence of prameters and variables which cannot be extrapolated or intrapolated. Every succesfull person is successfull not because they were brilliant in contolling all the variants (actually they never knew all the variants) but it was the conspiracy that helped them..I think GOD is close to "unknown vairants"-The Conspiracy..May be.. Yes, the intrinsic characteristics of this Conspiracy is the ability of being UNREACHABLE..

Walk with the God

2010-06-18T10:29:00.001-07:00

In a recent telephonic conversation with a friend, we were talking about the parameters of intellects in terms of things that inspires us. We all must have gone through a self-psychometric-analysis at one point of time. As in, which one we prioritise out of mountains, oceans, fire and wind, etcetera etcetera. Or may be by taking some other sets of references, we all try to figure out why can we relate ourselves to the choices we have in our lives. Anyway, lets get back to the conversation.
Here is an excerpt from our conversation :

Friend : Maddy, what would you prefer most among Ocean, Mountains, Fire, Sky and Air ?

Me : Ocean. What would you choose ?

Friend : May be, Sky or Fire.

Me : Be more specific please !

Friend : Mmmnn, let’s say Sky.

Me : Okay, and what would be the reason ?

Friend : Well, there are many reasons but the one fundamental reason that I can think of is, it’s untouchable and unreachable. Sky is infinite and yet, it seems so near. The more I try to come near it, the more it moves far. Which persuades me to keep moving high and high.

Me : Good ! And if you’d chosen Air or Fire ?

Friend : One by one. Air first.....It is something which envelopes us, keeps our vital system green and going but still neither can we touch, see or sense it. ......... Now Fire. Fire emanates a lot of heat and light which in turn spreads warmth and hope. We cannot dare to touch it but it inspires to burn. Burn to spread light..... to give hope.

Me : Interesting ! Given an insightful explanation by you, one thing I observed is, you are ambitious. Things that looks out of reach fascinates you. You move forward in pursuit of reaching its pinnacle one day.

Friend : Yeah, can say that. It kind of encourages me to roll my sleeves up and work hard. So, why would you choose ocean ?

Me : Oh yes, my turn. I like ocean because it carries everyone’s dump. No matter where it comes from, what it consists of, ocean accepts any offerings (regardless of being harmful or harmless) into its abyss without changing its attributes on the surface. I like ocean for its depth. When in college, if I felt low, I would run to Marine Drive, sitting there for hours and all the distress would sublime in air without my knowledge. It takes away all your worries and cheer your soul distracting you by its beauty.

Friend : Sounds quite emotional. I would like ocean for its depth more because, again its hard to reach its depth.

We laughed it out later playing it just for fun. But if we look closer, it shows different approach of looking at the same thing. It is not what we choose makes us an individual but what we think about it makes us different. Sometimes we may have same interests but the approach towards the interests speaks of our identity.

**************************************************************************

While I was re-viewing this conversation, I noticed that all the Elements: Fire, Air, Water and Sky have one thing in common: Un-reachablility. What is more amusing is that it reflects some of the quality we define in God.

[Though I am not a follower of any particular religion, neither am I a follower of particular God, but I do believe in a power whose abundant energy has given shape to this universe and many other universes.]

At home, recently while enjoying natural panorama on my apartment’s terrace one day, I could see people below me. All passer-bys, busy in their daily chores were busier to look up and see. I felt like God for that instant! Don’t take me wrong, I could see the world below me but nobody had time to look unless I would draw their attention towards me.

We human have a common affinity for ideas/things that are hard to approach. And there is nothing bad if it keeps us going. If not for the belief that there is something beyond this body and life, no one would ever step out of there cosy cushions. Even the selfish, if not for god, work hard in pursuit of becoming one. This cycle of reaching the apotheosis keeps the strings of life playing. If there was no inspiration, there was no aspiration.

There is a verse by Ghalib which suits this ideology, the perfect:

“humko malum hai jannat ki haqeeqat lekin, dil ke khush rakhne ka Ghalib ye khayal achcha hai.......”

Following one's Dream

2010-06-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

I had read somewhere, your mental state strongly affects your whole body system. So, you should talk and believe what you say and see. And inspired by this idea I've put my 'About me' on orkut profile as 'I am the Miracle'. Weird, isn't it ? But thats how I feel about myself. It is a good way to keep one's spirits high.

I was in Delhi recently to meet a friend when I was introduced to a friend of hers. Well, we could barely spend few hours together but one thing was sure he used a lot of brain before speaking. After I left, I had a small chat one day with this stranger-became-friend. And the first message I received said,"I am the Miracle ! I often wonder over this sentence of yours."

Later I came to know that we were birds of same feathers. Thinking is our main stream profession, rest is secondary. But what I realised is he doesn't have the will to admit it. I asked, why ?

The reply was,"You know one thing Madhuri, if we follow our dreams we have to dare. And daring although has risks given our society and its question on use of free will. Sometimes we have to fight and come to an understanding called compromise. What do you choose?"

The answer can be anything based on priorities set by an individual. Some run for money, some run for fame and in pursuit of attaining, they take different roads. And then we leave for others to judge if the road taken was right or wrong. Why does other’s opinion effect so much as to stop dreaming ?

For me, dream is my aspiration. It is something I would like to accomplish and that is why I dream of it. Of course, I cannot get wings to fly if I dreamt of one, but obviously dreaming of wings means asking for an independent life. Dreams bring all the latent desires we don’t worry about in the light of the day but somewhere inside it fights for its freedom. It helps me regulate my mood, keeps my ethereal-self balanced and controlled. I believe free will doesn’t cost as much as is exaggerated. If we’d laid ourselves forget dreaming, we would have never come out of Stone Age.

Scientifically, evolutionary psychologists believe that dreams serve some adaptive function for survival. Deidre Barrett describes dreaming as thinking merely in different biochemical state. This state if active can make changes because it is when a human brings his/her dreams into action.

What I want to say is, nothing is bad unless it harms the society. Dream is nothing but imagination and what is a mind without creativity. The saying is not worthless: “Dream big in order to become big.” If fear clouds the conscience, maybe compromise settles the issue. But when you are on a death bed, you’ll look for free will and you won’t have time to start all over. Life is short and as an Alchemist we need to follow our dreams before it’s too late.

Confused Pursuit

2010-05-29T13:02:00.001-07:00

Waking up in the morning

With hopes deep profound

Without knowing the fate

I take my first flight.

Trepidations within

Rendering the beauty of the morning.

Flighing high to be away

Away from myself in me

Prostrate on the bed

Thinking about thinking

From where I started

Figuring what I bring

No sorrow or regret, I guess

What I brought was ME

Yet am part of others' distress

Why compassion costs and pain is free ?

Now that morning light is out

Fear takes the shelter in the dark

Away from light, letting forget all doubt

With vigor, intense, to face the stark !

The Speaking Animal !

2010-03-11T01:58:00.000-08:00

The world of Men is colorful. There is love in hatred and mockery in love. People scoff and yet pretend pleasant. Praise the unworthy and give minutest of acknowledgment to those who deserve. Honesty is rare to find and if found, rare to carry on. And amidst this dichotomy of Peace and Peril, there is something that endures the world of Men or say Humans: The Humanity, the Humbleness and of all, Compassion for those we Love. If not for their love, tenderness and kindness shown, there stands no world to bear the hollow-hearts. My Mother always says, “It is for those few good people that we are prevented from the hovering Doom’s Day.”

But let us leave these concerns aside because I am not going to talk about malice and sad endings. I’ve been indulged in numerous books talking of triumph of Good over Evil, of Prince and Princess, of Fairies and Monsters, and what not. And that imprinted an impression for forever, which is: ‘there is always a happy ending to everything that begins’. I would always fancy or rather believed that I was a part of a fairy tale too. But I never thought I would actually be a part of one someday myself.

I have been a good dreamer. As said, I always had a very defined and nicely scripted dreams making anyone believe it were real. Though I always preferred to have dream-less sleeps. I’d been a little disturbed lately. I liked to sleep more and hence dream more, and there could hardly be a difference made, if it was a dream or what happened was real. [For once I even dreamt that I’d my lunch and I escaped one.] But it was not until this day that I still can’t figure out what I saw was real or barely films of memories hidden in my sub-conscience that took the form of pictures as soon as I closed my eyes.

X-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------X

I came to a store which ia a little far from my house and rather in a remote area to get my kerosene can filled. There were three young lads standing talking among themselves using as many profanities they learnt from the time they were in their mother’s womb, I guess. Their looks were menacing too along with their indecent conversation.

Yet, with all my guts I moved towards them and dared produced a sentence, “I want kerosene oil to be filled in my can.” Which sounded some unintelligible words juggled and delivered in haste.

At first, I could hear some muffled laughter which turned into a roar of laughter and then I realized what blunder I’d made with my statement. I was not dealing with normal people, after all.

“I said, can you help me fill this can with kerosene oil?” Raising the hand that contained it.

One fellow grabbed it from my hand shamelessly grinning, enjoying their small piece of joke. He took the can and went inside the shop to fill it up. While the others were still busy pulling each others shirts and passing alluded comments over me.

“Get off my shirt ! We’ve a Lady here. I don’t want to expose.” One of the two said eying me from the corner of his eyes.

The other smirked, “As if you’ve something to expose? I would never mind. Those who have it, they flaunt it.” Too proud on hitting a six.

“Oh, really! I wonder then why Sabiya didn’t give a glance at you, with or without shirt.”

Feeling offended the second guy immediately retorted saying, “You are not aware of the scene under covers. So be off!”

And again sharing a sly look they laughed. Apart from profanities, they didn’t even had respect for women. I was disgusted to the core. In fact, I pledged to myself that before leaving I would slap one of them. But again fear enthralled me for I felt very weak at the thought of smacking somebody down.

On that very moment I saw a loitering dog searching for food. It looked very feeble. When the dog came near to those two guys, they threw some bread for the dog. But before I could change my opinion for them, they started kicking the poor animal away from bread. That was the Epitome of Misbehavior. It was enough to collect strength to whack somebody, whatever may the consequence be.

I held the dog by its tail and dragged it with me. By the time, the third guy was out with the kerosene can. I took it paying the amount and suddenly moved my hand as fast at one standing near and ran away slapping him. The dog came trailing after me.

“You are brave! And thank you.” I heard a male voice saying it.

I was too nervous to turn my neck in the direction from where the voice came. So I continued running for some time while speaking out loud.

“Well, I should be thankful for your comment. What makes you say so?”

“You saved my life. And most of all you showed kindness to one who barely receives it from any person.” The voice was so clear that I could feel it was coming from very close by.

“I couldn’t have let that dog suffer in the hands of those mongrels.”

“Yes of course ! And this is why I’m grateful to you.” The voice answered.

I was too confused. I could see people walking on the street but none seemed to be interested talking to me. Then who was it ?

“Hey, whoever you are, can you please show up? Is this dog your pet?”

I was loud this time that passer-bys stared at me startled. I might be looking fool to them, talking to myself. And then I realized this voice was synchronized only to my audible frequency. A jolt of shiver passed and yet what strength led me keep my calm was alien to me.

At that moment, something drew my attention to the dog. It was making a gurgling sound from its throat and parallely I heard the voice again, this time a little irritated but composed.
“I am master to myself and a pet to myself. Though I am not human but I too have sense organs that do feel the pain. I again offer my gratitude for saving me from more pains.”

I just could not believe what I saw. I rinsed my eyes again and again. Pinched myself to be sure if my senses were alert. Till now I could not trust my own mind.
I laughed it off thinking it to be a prank of those nincompoops and increased my pace. The dog was still following me.

“I know who you are.” And with that I freezed where I was and stared back at the creature. The dog was talking to me. It continued, “I’ve seen you coming in and out of your house quite often. But I just not only know your name or your house, I also know what has troubled you all this time.”

More than horror, amazement struck me. I don’t know what made me interested to know what this voice has to say. I was still not ready to believe it was this dog.

“Wait, if its you I’m talking to, that means I can read your mind. But can you read my mind too when I’m not speaking my thought?” I was too eager to have my doubts cleared.

“No. I can’t read your mind but there is someone that tells me about your worries.” Its voice was deep and I was trapped more in a labyrinth.

“I’m sorry but I am lost. You say ‘someone’. May I ask who this someone is?”

“Sure. You usually see a tiny turquoise-colored bird seated on a branch every morning in front of your balcony. She is called Iritaa. Your fascinating gaze on her overwhelms her with pride. She is fond of you. And she watches you while you speak to yourself thinking no one is watching you. She tries to comfort you but since you can’t read her mind, her efforts go in vain.”

The dog’s one ear raised up suddenly as a sign of alert for a while and then fell. And it continued, “When returning to her friends, she speaks of your daily troubles like a speaking personal diary. It is thence I over heard her. And I can give you only one advice: ‘Do not be pained……because everything happens for a reason’.”

“Yeah, except that I am not sure if its for good or bad.” I sighed.

“Do not judge anything in such parameters for they are made by none but your own conscience. Once you might have found something bad but gradually you may have grown fond of it. And so, it was omitted from your Bad’s list. Think once.”

Expecting such wisdom from an animal whose name is used like a profanity, I was too overwhelmed to say a thing. I could only say, “Probably yes.”

“You fear of no fear. It is but your confusion that you are seeking an answer for. It is true that no problem comes without a solution provided you are aware of the problem.”

“What do you know about my problem to judge what bugs me?” I felt very offended without any reason.

“Maybe…..nothing of importance. I’ve not heard your narration and the one which is passed by a third person never holds the exact content of the original. And I won’t ask you if you don’t want to talk about it.” Its warmth was beyond a normal human intellect.
I was almost mesmerized to believe it was some supernatural being or something.

Its words had some sort of pain relief ointment which could heal the most wearied heart.

“How can you know so much? I mean, your life span is barely of few years and still you speak with the experience of centuries. Who are you?”

“I am just an animal…..a Dog as you people call me. I know much because I wander more in the world than the average human. I’ve seen many ill-doings and good deeds. Human minds are corrupted. Their pursuit of glory is satiated with destruction. I don’t deny that there are some good souls but too scanty to stop the malevolence. The large percentage consists of selfish men. And most are indulged in taking the advantage of being the superior race of all. Their lust to govern the Universe has drawn them insane. They don’t consider any living creature’s life worthy. There is a thick line drawn between those superior and inferiors in your own race, the former looks condescendingly on the latter……. But it is we animals who keeps the environmental balance. We’ve control over our unnatural instincts more than humans.”

I was too irked by the truth. I guess I am more like don’t-believe-and-it-is-myth. But coming face to face with reality was more like a whiplash. I heard it from the least expected creature which I failed to analyze myself (With my mind almost filled with so many mixed feelings). There was so much to worry, more than what small troubles I was clinging to. I reached my house and the dog was still coming beside me.

It caught me by saying, “There is so much pain that what you endure is just a matter of your choice. Mind you, its your selfishness that tells you that your pain is beyond suffering. Think about it and see if you can face it for you may not get what you want but you always get the best……..Go home…take rest…..and give some exercise to your mind….” It turned back to return but suddenly flipped its head and was too smug to say something that startled me more. “And yeah….I know His name.”

And it was gone. I came inside my house and was contemplating what I’d just now heard. I felt asleep gradually. Suddenly my morning alarm rang and I sprang from my bed wondering how I slept from afternoon to morning. When I went and asked my mother if I’d gone outside last afternoon, “No. You were busy with your books as usual. Always been too lazy to go out.” My mother has post-it complaint on her forehead regarding my laziness.

“Did papa go to get the kerosene can filled ?” I asked.

“No…..good that you reminded, its over and needs a refilling.”

I don’t know why I still wanted to check it myself. So I looked for the can and it was full to the brim! I wonder………………

------------------------------to be continued------------------------------------

More than that..

2009-08-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

I wonder this creation,
Passing each moment in a new fashion
I am feeling lonely
And you come to me so serenely.

I think of finding one perfect option
But leaving you is not to choose one
When I'd first met you
You looked like animal out of the zoo.

I avoided your visage
Running away from your glance
And you always blocked my way
With eyes that had so much to say.

Then with a brave heart, you accosted
Framing words all circumlocuted
Scared to death yet you spoke
That was time when I broke

I spoke of hatred but love
Inferno within touching sky above
You were the one,aimed the dart
Which came to me and hit my heart

You caressed me, you made me smile
When I knew nothing but hate & vile
You showed me life with colors abound
The bountiful earth, keeping secrets profound.

World was beautiful with a new stride
Life with you was a roller coaster ride
When I looked at you, too convinced
Never realised,
That you would leave like a clandestine.

I'd nothing but you in my mind
My soul played your music on rewind
I couldn't have been what I'm today
But I am hurt so badly to celebrate this dismay

Succumb to the truth that you wont stop
Even if I beg or jump from the mountain top
Seeing the reality yet denial persists
A faint glint of hope still exists.

Time has passed and you went so far
With maiden all around & opportunities ajar
I fear, for you may find someone
The feeling so deep to sublime in the sun.

I still feel the love, I still keep the hope
I wait for you walking on the Faith's road
Though I feel weak when the night falls
Yet stop myself being reluctant to call

Engaged in my chores, act as my aegis
I drive myself to the land of oasis
There nothing but peace remains
With nothing to lose or nothing to gain

Before I move, let me tell you how I feel
That my Love was real
And not some deal
I thank you, for you were great tutelage
I will revere you without any rage

But I know my pain would palliate
My belief tells me,
I deserve More than that !

It's all about making a Difference !

2009-04-17T04:59:00.000-07:00

Hey people, I am back after a very long time. Since Election is very near and the campaigning is going great guns for both the contenders, I thought may be I should also contribute my excerpts. I am not very political person, but while going through the newspaper I came to know that this time we've a Fourth Front as well. And these 3rd or may it be 4th front, their only agenda or say concern is that neither BJP nor Congress should win the Elections.

I really don't understand if this is the Agenda in the recent days, where is the concern for the Development/Progress of the country. At least, during previous Election campaigning, our politicians used to give some false promises. Now they don't even do that because they know, neither junta believes nor are they going to fulfill them. Now, my question is, amidst all this campaigning, where even superstars have contributed some time to instigate young generation to vote sincerely, why no one ever has any interest to know who are the political leaders and what are their qualifications ? Will these old and so called experienced candidates would serve the country honestly ? If the stars say Vote for our nation, probably we would vote ( same as we buy some branded clothes endorsed by them ). But are we really going to think and analyze before making our decisions. Every small bit of work involves corruption and we are taught to fight against them. However, no one stands against it.

While recently, I was speaking to one of my senior colleagues, he told me about a Section in our Constitution which says if a citizen doesn't wants to vote can report to the local Police Thana, and he can choose any Candidate he thinks is not suitable for the post. Also, if there are 100 people reporting against the same candidate, his candidature would be canceled forever. Now, we do not know that section because it is never highlighted. Even when I asked which is that section, my colleague never had time to look for it. Anyway, what little I know, I wanted all of us to know who thinks we need to Act in order to make a change.

There are many who can speak for hours about making a revolution, there would be barely some to fight against the odds and act for it. Its not about choosing what we want, but when we put a small effort, we make a Difference !!! Its our Country, and we all have full right to choose the one leader who can lead India to prosperity....

I can only imagine

2008-08-19T03:51:00.000-07:00

I can only imagine
That life has all good things with no trouble

I can only imagine
That no human should hurt the other

I can only imagine
That friendship may be life long

I can only imagine
That the one I love should love me too

I can only imagine
That no one should die

I can only imagine
That there may be Peace everywhere

I can only imagine
That anybody would come to me when I ask help

I can only imagine
That there is only one who cares for me

I can only imagine
That there is life after death

I keep only imagine
When the time flows and I'm swept away !

Learning fast !

2008-08-04T07:45:00.000-07:00

My Birthday and Friendship's day always come almost at the same time. And that means phone calls ! Many phone calls.

Basically because I treat my Birthday to be some Royal Princess's B'day. I would start asking all my friends a month in advance to wish me on my b'day. Not getting a call from any of friends is like nerve-breaking and temperature-boiling additive to my mood.

Being obsessed so much with myself, getting one-step closer to death ( quite a cliched statement, it can come to anyone anytime. But a metaphor ), I was impatiently ( as I am always) waiting for the auspicious day to come. When all plans and excitement washed with my Mobile being stolen. I have no worry for the money that cost me to buy it, because there is no point crying over that. In any case, I'll have to buy a new Mobile.

At the same time, seeing me so distressed one of my friend offered me a temporary number to use. I've given it to few of my friends but not all since it wont be with me for long. So, only few good friends. But now, what haunts and pains me is that I wont be getting as much calls as I
would have expected if it was my number. So, my last hope is Orkut where I can find some tonns of scrap ( Hopefully ! ).

It is said that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I can't understand or I can't see it now. But, I really would like to know why I forgot my Mobile somewhere when I don't even leave it away from my eyesight for a moment. Was it for some better or is it just that I am an Idiot believing in some old faith and not realising my mistake !

Lets see, the next day ahead would show me the right reason behind it. Till then, I can only wait. And for that, I have to be patient. So basically, it is good in a way that it is helping me learn, how to be Patient. Hmmm, that reminds me of being Optimistic. I must say, I am learning fast ! :)

The Optimist !!

2008-08-04T05:28:00.001-07:00

Since lately, I've been troubled by lot many small issues. Its not that I am deliberately putting myself in a situation where I am left only with worries and moaning over silly things. And then I realised that I never share my feelings when I find myself exulted.

Well, for one reason I feel that we people mostly have trivial and hence common issues to crib on.
If I write some bad experience, it may have occurred ( though not ditto) or can be associated with the readers.

Anyway, it is all relative. So here I am write something I am happy about. Well, one good thing that has happened to me is that, among all this mess and foil I've found some good friends. Friends who help me come out of stupid little worries I usually hover around. Being an Impatient human, I really have trouble waiting for anything. I want everything in a Jiffy. I am learning the new techniques of being patient for at least a bit. Lets see, how long does it takes me to come over it.

Also, though I am an Optimistic person, but the very second I land in a commotion, I panic.

I received an email from a Friend, describing the value and potency of being Optimist. I would like to share it here. Its a small story that begins like :

The Optimist

There is a story of identical twins. One was a hope-filled optimist. "Everything is coming up roses!" he would say. The other twin was a sad and hopeless pessimist. He thought that Murphy, as in Murphy's Law, was an optimist. The worried parents of the boys brought them to the local psychologist.

He suggested to the parents a plan to balance the twins" personalities. "On their next birthday, put them in separate rooms to open their gifts. Give the pessimist the best toys you can afford, and give the optimist a box of manure." The parents followed these instructions and carefully observed the results.

When they peeked in on the pessimist, they heard him audibly complaining, "I don't like the color of this computer . . I'll bet this calculator will break . . . I don't like the game . . . I know someone who's got a bigger toy car than this . . ."

Tiptoeing across the corridor, the parents peeked in and saw their little optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. He was giggling. "You can't fool me! Where there's this much manure, there's gotta be a pony!"

X------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------X

Thanksgiving !

2008-07-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

Seasons come and go
With time, I am too movin' on
But the urge and the need
Is like fodder to be fed

The secret hidden within
Gives me strength to live-in
But I am mistaken for the mortals
'Coz for you, all they seem to be open portals

I was nothing, when you gave me life
Having innocent soul, cut by no knife
I always surround myself in trouble
You rescued me out, swapped remorse with giggle

I know I am alive 'coz you are around
It is you to whom I am only bound
Thank you is not what I will revert
To keep you happy, I'll keep away all dirt

I'll not engage in what disappoints
I am your devotee, no less than saints
I found you around in all odds
You are my only faith 'O Lord' !

Life is what we choose !

2008-07-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

The life sometimes becomes short for many things that we cannot do. And this is when we say, "this life is too short." But is it actually ?

Sometimes, time is relative to what we do and what you seek. If we do things we love to, we are too content & satisfied with what we get and what we already have.
Sometimes, we desire the most coveted and we thrive to get it. We look for more and yet no more. We end up living life grumpily with no excitement or enthusiasm but just to count the number of breath we are sent with.
Sometimes, we are so frustrated by everything that we do and hence we crib. Life looks like a lost battle and we being marooned in a deserted island. There is no better feeling than to end up our life.

And yet, there are those who fight. Don't let lose their spirit. No matter if they win or lose, they move on. This where the secret lies.

Life is but a course that we choose to make it interesting or boring. There is no another life as there is no another chance to a mistake. We are given one life that we know in our conscience. We don't know what we were in our previous life (except for few re-incarnated) or what we would be in the next life. If we keep moaning over things that change, feelings those ephemeral, we can never choose the right way to proceed. And hence, the secret of Soul Existence !

The happiness and satisfaction with life is hidden within us. Only thing we need is to discover ourselves. Stagnant at one point is enough to make a coat of rust. Life should move on, come what may. This life is our 'Own'. We may cross many who become part of our lives. But, these parts can never lay what our self-parts can.

We

2008-06-27T12:36:00.001-07:00

While sun bidding its final goodbye

Lying on bed, with tears in my eye

You had called, and I couldn't say it again

You to stay forever, be all mine

But my mouth goes glued

As if about to commit a crime.

Darkness pandemic arrives as harbinger

And my pensive thoughts start to linger

Deep within lies a fear

Since you are too far,

With little chance to be near.

I'm still not a day ahead of our chirpy tete-a-tete(s)

Reminiscence brings me smile,

When your voice echos & my heart taps

You had to go, it was for your better

I never showed the right or any deter

Now I realize, I should have expressed

If not stopped you, at least said

That chunk of my soul, you do possessed

Your crass slowly engendered my interest

That not for a day, I've peace or rest.

Years have passed, I'd lost the touch

And glad to catch again your clutch

Though not impossible it was, but

It was my ego, or probably I let

The doors of my heart closed & shut.

Now that you are around

I am not numb anymore

Just want to talk and

Be with you more and more

All over, you and your sound.

I wish this time forgets its tick and just stop

I hold your hands till my last breath crops

I don't want to moan or revile on the retrospect

Parting again would be like corroded silt

So, let me not drown in my own guilt.

I want you to be right beside me

Facing all turmoils like an usual spree

Startling all life with your regular surprises

That a smile be on my face even as I die

For this small favor, looking forward to see

That someday I may be known,

when you say, 'We'.