Manifestation: Process or Product?

This is a pretty hot topic in the world of manifestation and law of attraction: Do I focus on the details of what I want, or do I let go of it all and surrender to the pure joy of now?

The answer is (drumroll please)…

Do both.

But first, a bit of background.

This concept may well have its roots in the process vs. product paradigm, a discussion that is hotly debated in various fields.

A process is a means by which something is done. It’s the journey, not the destination. If you were to, say, write a blog post (gosh, I wonder why this example comes to mind?), then the process would be the writing itself.

A product is the end result, the outcome of a process. It’s the destination, not the journey, In the blog post example, the product would be the post itself – what you’re reading on your screen right now.

In the worlds of education, art, business, communication, and beyond, you’ll find some folks who believe firmly in either process or product, who look at the other side with a raised eyebrow and a tiny frown.

The process folks love the process, the journey from this point to that point. They value it more highly than they do the outcome, while the product folks love the outcome, the end result. They value it more highly than they do the journey.

And then there are the folks who  love both: process and product together. They love the journey and the destination. They love that the destination itself just launches another journey.

In my undergrad days, I studied creative writing. I spent most of my days writing in a feverish altered state, completely immersed in the process of creation. I’d spend the rest of my time sifting through what I had created, attempting to decipher my handwriting and create deep meaning from the words.

Most of the time, this worked pretty well. I was able to create some beautiful pieces of poetry and fiction by surrendering to the process, listening to the words as they flowed through my awareness. I followed this with intense focus on the product: editing, polishing, and preparing it for human consumption.

It looks like I moved from process to product in a linear fashion… yet that intense focus on the product was, in itself, process. Interesting, isn’t it? They merge into each other.

Manifestation is an art, just like writing or painting or intuition. Because of this, we can learn about manifestation by taking lessons from the world of creativity.

Focus on the product by visualizing, writing out your dreams, getting clear on the details of your desires, creating vision boards, and employing the endless techniques available to help you focus on your goals. These techniques engage your mind, your intellect, and eventually your feelings.

Focus on the process by simply enjoying this moment right now, with all of its beauty and fulfillment. You allow yourself to feel feelings that simply feel good. This usually begins with appreciation for what is, careful attention to the sumptuous sensory details that surround you, and simple awareness of your breath and heartbeat. It is surprising how satisfying this can be. Process engages the feelings, bypassing the many demands of your mind.

When you get good at both, allow them to merge and flow. In a state of heightened creativity, process and product become one. Let your awareness surge between them. It’s not process or product; it’s not details or letting go. It’s both, in a blend that you create for yourself, day by day, fresh for each moment.

If you want my advice (and who doesn’t?), play with process first. It is guaranteed to give you instant fulfillment, because that’s what it’s designed to do. As your desire increases for product, it will inevitably weave its way into your process. Allow them both, observe them both, and see what comes into your life from this play.

Image credit: grisha_21

He asked me to respect my humanity as well as my divinity.

And dang if that didn’t hit my spot.

One of the few traditional coaching tenets I embrace is a teaching from Thomas Leonard:  We respect our clients’ humanity above all, especially when things are tough.

For those of us navigating this journey of awakening or service to the world, it’s time for us to extend this deep respect to ourselves.

What does this mean?

It means resting. It means laughing. It means recognizing our own fallibility but forging ahead anyway.

Most of the people I work with know exactly what it feels like to be in the flow.

To feel that sweet life force coursing through us. To feel guided. To be in just the right spot at just the right time.

This feeling manifests things in ways that kind of blow our minds.

However… we also know what it feels like to get knocked into the gutter of self-doubt, discouragement, and fatigue.

Here, some Nasty Questions rear their heads and bare their teeth.

Who do you think you are, trying to teach this stuff?

Who are you to do this work?

And my personal favorite:

Getting too big for your britches, now aren’t you?

Well, ouch. This stuff hurts.

These experiences are evidence that we’re only human. No matter what, all of us are heir to these insecurities.

And really, it’s all okay.

How am I implementing Mark’s wisdom? Time will tell. But I have a few ideas.

In the meantime, a more important question for you to consider is, “How can you respect your own humanity today?”

A few ideas from the land of Intuitive Magic:

• Schedule some downtime. So you’re busy being the next most mindblowing thing since Leonardo da Vinci invented sliced bread and then taught it to fly. The next day, stop being a genius for a little while. Go to the grocery story. Get a cup of tea at a local shop. Read something completely inane. It’ll do you good.
• Set a few boundaries with Spirit. Tired of being woken at 3 a.m. with spiritual work to do? Tired of being taken over by inspiration just when the pasta is al dente and about to go mush? Tell Spirit when you are available to do spiritual work, and when you’re not. Ask with deep love & respect for your guidance and inspiration to come through in timing that works for you, your family, and your life. Then surrender it and see what happens.
• Just Say No to constant availability. Put away your personal connectivity devices and harken back to a time, long ago, when no one could find you. Doesn’t that feel good? Since so many of us are working as spiritual pioneers for the benefit of others – as a path of service – we require time away from service. And it’s hard not to respond when we see requests from friends and clients sitting in our inboxes and Facebook pages and Twitter feeds and more. Just as we need boundaries with Spirit, we also need boundaries with humans. (Who’da thought?) Set a few boundaries here as well.

Trust me: The inspiration won’t dry up if you spend an afternoon reading old comic strips at the bookstore. Or if you don’t open your email for a day. Or even if you keep your mouth closed when inspiration comes through.

It’s all okay. Respect your humanity, above all, and you’ll continue to be a person whom Spirit seeks as a messenger for the world.
 

Especially if the Big Decision is a true calling, a Great Truth wanting to speak through you. Then, it hardly feels like a choice at all – instead it feels like an imperative push from the soul. (And who wants to say no to that?)

Saying an Absolute Yes to the soul is not as easy as it sounds. Ask anyone who has made a risky choice—whether it’s getting married or becoming an entrepreneur or going to seminary or  traveling to a distant continent to study hallucinogenic snails—and they’ll either tell you: A) “It was a hell of a hard decision,” or B) “I had to do it—it was like I had no choice in the matter.”

(Or, if they’re more confident with adventure, they might say: C) “It’s fun!” But I’m not speaking to these folks here. If you are one of these folks, please leave a comment about it so we can all benefit from your confidence mojo!)

Decisions, Decisions

The most life-changing choices are the ones we embrace with a solid Yes, Absolutely. But some Yeses are harrowing, nerve-wracking choices, even when we know in our hearts that they are absolutely the right ones to make.

These are the decisions that, when taken at the flood of opportunity and inspiration, move us down a whole new path, one that’s unfamiliar, unmapped, maybe with a few “There Be Dragons” scattered across the landscape.

Decisions like:

• Going back to school
• Changing careers
• Starting a new business
• Accepting a spiritual calling

And oh, the magic we make (and the inner chaos we face) when all of these are blended into one.

I’ve known many people who have done all four of those life-changers nearly at once. Going back to school to train for a career change that will require them to start a business in alignment with their spiritual calling.

Well, sheesh if that isn’t a lot of transition all at once. But it’s one that so many of us face when we decide to follow our hearts – or are kicked out of our comfort zones through job loss, business shifts, empty nests, or other life transitions.

Intuition: What If It’s Slow as Ketchup in an Old Glass Bottle?

Since this is Intuitopia and I generally focus on engaging with life through our intuitive senses, I’d like to say, “Trust your intuition” and be done with it. But it’s not so simple.

The Big Decisions often leave our intuition feeling as slow as can be. (Remember those old ketchup commercials where people waited and waited for the ketchup to flow? That slow. Or slower.)

In times like these, calling on someone else’s intuition can be very helpful. I can use my intuition to give you some insight into yours. I can journey for you, or use divination to coach you toward clarity.

But (not to belittle this, because it’s truly powerful to engage with another in seeking guidance) there’s something even more dramatic that you can do to reach your Yes.

Give In

Just give in.

You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to make any choices that affect your everyday world.

All that you have to do is give in to the inner impulse, let go of the struggle, and say Yes.

The Yes doesn’t have to be followed by action right away. It may never be followed by action—because things may shift where you don’t need to take any actions at all in order to fulfill your quest.

The Yes is action enough for now.

I have strengthened my Yes, Absolutely through ceremony, through sharing with my community, through the power of coaching and healing, through my speech patterns and my patterns of prayer.

And things have come clear that before were unclear. Waters have parted that before submerged my path. Help arrived—emails from people with just the right information, profitable referrals from satisfied clients—where before it had seemed I was in a desert with no help to be found.

I’m talking about spiritual surrender here. It’s not an easy topic. It’s one of those goals you could devote your whole life to.

Saying Yes, Absolutely to the promptings of your soul truly makes the difference. The “how” doesn’t matter. The “next step” doesn’t matter.

All that matters, in this tender breathing moment, is your Yes.

Say it now.
 
 

Yummy photo credit: Like_The_Grand_Canyon

Red photo credit: erix!

... a hidden heart ...

In each of our hearts, there is a spot where merging takes place, where we experience oneness with community, with culture, and with the great helpers on our spiritual paths.

And in that merged place within each one of us, we can find truths that might astound us. That’s not because we’re super-wise. It’s simply because of this:

When we find ourselves merged with something greater than ourselves, a beneficial power of spirit, then greater truths arise.

And all of us have access to this knowledge.

But what happens when the centers of our hearts receive a Great Truth, but this truth has to pass through our own human shame and uncertainties—our Hidden Hearts—before it can be heard by the world?
 

Hidden Heart: Oh. My. No, I can’t say that. I can’t express you. I just … can’t.

Great Truth: But we need to be expressed. And we need you to do it for us.

Hidden Heart: I can’t. I can’t. I’m not good enough. I don’t know the right way.

Great Truth: There’s no such thing as being “right” or “good enough.”

Hidden Heart: Really?

Great Truth: Really.

Hidden Heart: But others think that there is. They pray to “The One Right Way” every day.

Great Truth: Those prayers are perhaps confused. (And that’s just another great truth we need you to express for us, my dear.)

Hidden Heart: *blush*

Great Truth: Listen, sweetie. We have passed by many voices and many hearts and we have found yours to be a channel for our wisdom. You don’t get to keep our truth. We do not belong to you. But perhaps—as a kindness to us—you would consent to use your voice on behalf of your world.

Hidden Heart: *squirm*

Great Truth: We need your voice. We crave it. We require it, if we are to do our work in your world.

Hidden Heart: *squeak*

Great Truth pauses, quiet. In the distance, Hidden Heart hears the roar of the bear, the near-silent padding of the cat through the forest, the rustle of leaves that marks an invisible path.

Hidden Heart: I don’t know what to do.

Great Truth: Open your heart to hold us. Open your mouth to sing us. Open your hands to move us into your world.

Hidden Heart: But what if … what if all of this is wrong? What if I am wrong in bringing you into the world?

Great Truth: Your path is not one of rightness and wrongness, but of courage. Our path is not of rightness or wrongness, but of healing. There is no right path, only the path that heals. Will your hands and voice do our healing work?

Hidden Heart: Yes. Yes. I hope so. Yes.

Great Truth: We will teach you every moment. We will give you what you need on each progressive day. And you will never want for understanding, guidance, and love as you continue on this path.

Hidden Heart: *whispers* But I will no longer be able to hide. I want to hide … behind you.

Great Truth: We will give you such love that you will never need hide again. Your voice is our voice. Your hands are our hands. Your face is the face of Great Truth while you speak us. You may gently hold and move our power, and thus you will never need to hide again. And you will be called Emerging Heart, throughout this time of opening and change.

Hidden Heart: I’ll never need to hide again?

Great Truth: Unless it is something that you choose. We will heal your veil of hiding and let you step free.

Hidden Heart lets herself be silent for a long time. Even the animals of the woods are silent, as she chooses who she will be.

Emerging Heart: *deep breath* I will speak your truth, as much as I am able. I will accept your healing so that I may speak even greater truth as my path winds on. Thank you.

Great Truth: We welcome your gratitude, but at this time we will thank you. This gift—to us, and to your world—is greater than you can imagine. Your courage alone is a great truth in itself, and your voice and hands give shape to your world. Thank you.

On the eve of the second new moon of 2011, I’d like to share a creation story from the frog spirits, shown to me a few years ago in a shamanic journey.

As you read this story, be open to its healing gift. Stories contain hidden codes that only our bodies and hearts can read. When you feel the shift, you will know that you have felt its gift.

The story is told through metaphor, imagery, physical sensation. If this is new to you, just be open to its offering. Just let it wash over you.

Frog King Believes Us Into Being

When frogs came into being on this Earth, rain fell heavy from the sky. Above, shadows lingered on clouds, casting the world in gray. Trees reached in tall spires, and water lapped at many shores. The world smelled of fungi then, and the rotting wood which gives life. It echoed with bird call and insect drone.

Frog King spread himself through the sky and caused all rain to fall. Within every drop, the seed of frog nested. Zygotes transformed to embryos as the Earth pulled frog and water toward her.

Each drop splashed to ground, a tadpole within it, and scattered in many droplets from which many frogs grew. Large and small, brown and green, purple and red, yellow and white, pale and dark, the frogs burst from water droplets, their web-pad feet rustling the duff beneath trees. Many splashed onto tree limbs, scattering frogs among needles and leaves.

Water was near, and frogs leapt to its edge. Trees rose above, and frogs soared to their massive trunks, clinging with new legs, chests fluttering with each heartbeat.

The rain sends frog upon frog. The air is thick with frogseed, showering this sacred place. The sky continues to pour, the Earth continues to receive, and the spawn of the Frog King reign.

Teachings from the Frog King
(taken verbatim from the spirit in the journey)

When the frogs come to Earth, they come with a splash. That splash shatters them into many frogs. When these frogs reach you – you see them poised on leaf, hear them singing their song – you’ll know how it is that you came to Earth as well, floating downward, a seedling of your own kind, rushing gracefully to the Earth who rises up to greet you, a womb with open arms.

You rush to her, to be inside of her, to be within her, and you feel the warmth that our seedlings feel when they crash to Earth and know their own home.

When a gift is given and well-received, it grows, and is a gift back to those who give. This is not unlike my story.

Belief Is the Most Powerful Substance in the Universe

Frog King believed the frogs into being. We are all believed into being. All that we create, we create from belief. Belief often creates when nothing else can.

And belief is entwined through our stories.

Each of us has a creation story. A story of how our lives began. A story of how the world began. A story of how we ourselves create – our artwork, our manifestations, our relationships, the whole canvas of our lives. Within these creation stories rest the seeds of our beliefs. And within those seeds of belief lies our our power to change.

When we know our stories, we know our truth.

What do you believe about how the world came to be?
What do you believe about how YOU came to be?
What stories line the pathways of your life?

This is an invitation for us to explore our inner selves. What lies within us is the energetic pattern for that which exists in our world. Some call them beliefs, some call them stories, some call them our own personal myths of the world. By any name, they create what WE create.

Your stories may be metaphoric. They may be filled with image. They may be filled with sound and taste and the soft touch of fur. Anything that fills your stories is fine.  Greet it all with love. If you take this invitation and explore your stories, be kind to yourself. Emotions may come. Again, greet them with love.

Now place your story on paper, or on canvas, or in song. Express your story. Let it move through you out into the world. See what you learn about yourself. See what you learn about what your manifesting, your intuition, your creative work – just by expressing your own story today.

 
Photo Credits: Moon by Bobby Mikul, White’s Tree Frog by LiquidGhoul, Water droplets on leaf by Photos8

Let’s talk about lights at the end of tunnels—the lights that sing to us, calling us toward their brilliance.

What is that light? For human creatures like us, for folks on a journey of personal growth, I believe that that light is full, complete, and unconditional acceptance and belonging.

Spiritual belonging,
social belonging,
emotional belonging,
that feeling that says, Yes, we’re part of something bigger than ourselves, something of enormous value.

As a species, we are social. We need each other. (Not unlike the elephants shown here.) And the thing that gets in the way of this connection, according to researcher-storyteller Brene Brown, is shame.

Address that shame, develop resilience to it, and we have the power to connect in deeper ways than we ever have before—and with this connection, we touch the holy grail of belonging.

Connecting isn’t just about clicking the Like button. It’s about true belonging. It’s about feeling like we’re part of something of value – simply because we value it. It’s about being willing to take a few risks even if some people fall away, because we know, in some primal inner place, that we truly do belong on a greater level, and that we deserve to.

The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t just at its end. It surrounds the tunnel itself. Once we dig our way out of the discomfort of shame, belonging is there. It’s our birthright as social beings, and the fulfillment of so much of our longing.

I’ve dug myself most of the way out of my own tunnel, and I want to give a loving shout-out to my friends who help me touch the grail. To my friends online over at Good Vibe U, my friends from past and present classes and groups, my dear old friends from years and years ago (who put up with me when I was snarkier), my Subud friends, my animal friends, my friends across the street and across town and all across the world, and my Facebook friends, too—Thanks for the belonging. Thanks for the safe space to develop resilience.

If this has touched a chord in you, listen for its resonance in your life. Do you hear a longing to belong, a yearning to be part of something bigger than you are?

I have, and I do, even still. Let’s set our intention together: To fulfill our birthright of belonging, of full self-expression, and of having a dang good time with friends.

As I’m writing my forthcoming ebook, Shamanic Journeying: A Path of Deep Intuition, I’ve felt pretty exposed (and that’s even before I publish the darn thing).

I’m writing about spiritual beliefs that may be unpopular. I’m talking about powerful methods of gathering intuitive information and experiencing healing, methods that people are fascinated with, that many others argue against, and that others still find a bit uncomfortable.

I’m writing this because I love it.

And I’m capable of writing it, of taking this risk to do what I love, because I’ve done deep healing—and I’ve finally looked shame in the face and said, “I’m worth more.”

It’s the same thing with belonging. Admitting the desire to belong is a risk, too, like any creative risk. And the longing to create is akin to the longing to belong.

If you have a deep desire to paint, to write, to direct, to dance, to coach, to do intuitive work, or to speak your own truth, this is connected with the dream of true belonging. Of being who you really are in our culture, and being loved for it.

Explore your creative dreams and your dreams to belong. Know that they can be one—you can be uncompromisingly you, and you truly can be part of something greater. You can be different, and your voice can also be heard by those who long to hear it.

Belonging is calling, and so is individuality. They are beacons, lights that guides so many of our subconscious choices throughout our lives. Our desire to belong is deep, but so is our commitment to ourselves, our uniqueness, our ferocious individuality. When we know ourselves well, when we live from who we really are, then these two beacons become one.

Sophie Mihalko, Creative Giant

From Harmony: The beginning of January is filled with fireworks of excitement. We’re all poised for The Best Year Ever, and we’re psyched up to “make it happen.”

But frankly, “making things happen” isn’t the way that really good things happen.

Instead, the best things come through a combination of intention and letting go – and then taking action only when we feel the true inner impulse to do so.

Sophie Mihalko (www.SophieMihalko.com) really gets this.

She’s got big dreams, and she’s also got the wisdom and the guts to be satisfied with her life just as it is.

We’re two weeks into the New Year, and I’ve invited Sophie to share a bit of her story here at Intuitopia.
 
 

“My Dream Is Unfolding In Front of Me”

I am very blessed to have a community of friends who believe in defining their big dreams in the New Year. Furthermore, everyone around me has been talking about the energy of the New Year and exclaiming how delicious and powerful 2011 has been so far.

I have big dreams. They are dear to my heart and I am very clear that they will take place, although I have no idea when or how. It just feels really good to be dwelling in them.

So when I read my friends’ Facebook status about how incredible 2011 has been so far, it is difficult not to compare and wonder if mine has been so fantastic.  It has been pretty good, yes, but have I had this one thing I can say “Wow!” about? I am not sure.

It really depends how I look at it. (Doesn’t everything?) If I look at what I made happen so far, then it looks like I have not done much and if all continues the same, this year will be pretty much the same as last.

But this is where I remember that I don’t believe in making anything happen anymore. I believe in being in the flow and allowing wonderful events and people to gently merge into my life path. And the merge leads to the delicious conclusion that my life is pretty awesome.

So if I look at my year so far I can say I am really doing well. I am enjoying my family more than ever, always finding something incredible to focus on about my kids, my husband and even my parents! My job has become so wonderful that I have true friends here who care about me and my schedule is so light that I can actually consider other creative venues during my work hours.  I have also taken the habit to appreciate myself every day, in my own ritual, and I can feel my confidence blossoming into the gift that I want to give to my kids. So from this perspective, yeah, everything is absolutely fantastic.

And if it was not enough, I just noticed magic happening. This morning I felt the need to release the pressure I was putting on myself to make 2011 “the year.” So I shared this release with my dear friends at Good Vibe University and within 1 hour, I signed my first professional music video directing gig.

My dream is unfolding in front of me and all I had to do was say, “It’s okay, let’s just relax for now.”

Hi hi hi, I am laughing inside at how incredible this journey is!

Much love,

Sophie Mihalko

Many big thanks and hugs to Sophie for this great guest post.

For years, I struggled with depression – and I overcame it by using energy work, among other tools. If you’re challenged by depression yourself, please consider downloading this gift of my first ebook, “Light in the Darkest Hour: Energy Work for Shifting Depression and Loving Ourselves, Even When It’s Hard To Do.”

Just click on the link or the book cover above to read it. There’s no cost. There’s no opt-in. You don’t have to give your email address at all. It’s 100% free of charge with no strings attached. My hope is that this book makes it around the world, touching as many lives as possible. Please share it with anyone you’d like!

This book started with a discussion over at Good Vibe U on depression and Law of Attraction. I was literally overcome with the need to write this book immediately to share my experience. Five and a half days later, it’s in your hands (or, more accurately for an ebook, it’s before your eyes).

I know that by sharing my knowledge and experience, exactly what I need comes right on back to me. Thanks for reading, thanks for connecting, and thanks for having the chutzpah to heal.

If this book makes a difference for you or for someone you care about, please leave a comment and bring your own warmhearted wisdom to this important discussion.

Warmly,
Harmony

Jet Flying in Dust Storm by D Sharon Pruitt

I’ve been a student of the laws of attraction for nearly 20 years. That’s a good long time to be apprenticed to something. You might call me dedicated.

But what you might also call me is a deserter, and a proud one at that.

Several years ago – eight, ten – I left law of attraction behind in the dust. Why? Because I discovered some powerful, so-called negative emotions and wounds within me that had to be expressed.

Attraction teachings pooh-poohed the negative (especially at that time), but I had this deep urge for true, full expression and healing.

I felt that it came down to a choice: It was either the law of attraction, or it was full expression of ME.

I chose me.

(Generally a good choice for many of us.)

And I took myself on an unforgettable healing journey, having lightened my luggage considerably by chucking out my positive-thinking mindset.

However, you can never leave a basic principle of life behind. It’s like saying, “I think I’ll skip gravity this year, because I have an inner need to express levity.” Gravity would hardly agree.

But what if our ideas on gravity were all wrong? What if everyone truly believed that gravity itself were caused by, say, spray adhesive keeping us stuck to the planet’s surface? What if the whole scientific world believed this fallacy (not unlike the historical flat-earth belief)?

This whole thing about gravity-as-glue is a joke, exaggerated to the point of lunacy to make a point of sanity:

We don’t understand everything about this world.

When I left positive-thinking teachings in the dust, I went off on my not-so-merry way and discovered lots of things.

That years of depression have huge benefits of personal power and transcendence, if you know how to find them.
That healing isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it because your life can change in immense and powerful ways.
That love truly is the strongest force I’ve ever encountered, or ever will, and I’m not just saying it — I’ve experienced it.

This dark and challenging journey is what made me who I am.

Now I’m back full-force in the world of attraction, emboldened, in love with manifestation, and not afraid to tell the truth. And that truth is this:

We don’t know everything there is to know about these powerful phenomena of attraction, manifestation, and synchronicity.

What we do know is that we don’t have to be 100% happy for it to work for us. We don’t have to use any affirmations or visualizations or vision boards, unless we want to. We don’t have to employ one iota of positive thinking, unless we want to.

It’ll still be okay, and we’ll still experience deliberate creation.

What we do have to do, though, is be honest and true to ourselves. We need to let our life force energy flow, circulating healthfully in our bodies, our emotions, our minds, our spirits. We need to be in full expression of that vitality and power. We need to let ‘er rip.

When we do that, we’re unstoppable.

Back to happiness for a moment: I’m hooked on the stuff. Not because I have to be. Not because an LOA book or teacher says that I should be. Not because it’s more spiritual.

I’m hooked on happiness because I love it. Because I love how my life is. Because I love how I am. And because happiness feels so dang good.

And — at this point in my life — happiness is my honest truth, through and through.

Just before I posted this, I had the chance to chat about my story with Jeannette Maw, the Good Vibe Coach, and she pointed out a startling truth: Back when I made the choice to leave law of attraction in the dust, it was never a choice between being fully myself and being a powerful manifestor.

In the moment when we spoke, I realized that the only way for me to be a powerful manifestor is to truly be myself, accepting every part of me, my light and my shadow.

Years ago, I made a choice for total, radical self-acceptance, regardless of my beliefs about attraction. To become a powerful manifestor, I had to accept myself unconditionally, and to heal.

Let’s accept the truth about our lives, our feelings, our inner selves. Let’s peel off the happy face stickers and let it all pour out — with the love and support that we each need for our own journey.

Let’s not be afraid of our emotions, because they are powerful forces that have the ability to transform every single moment of our lives in good and bountiful ways.

And let’s allow ourselves to love that transformation as much possible, because in doing so we’re giving love and acceptance to beings who dearly need it: We’re giving it to ourselves .

“Hi, my name’s Wallace,” said the guy on the other end, “aaaand I’ve lost my script.”

He spent the next several seconds laughing. Yep, laughing right at himself.

So what do you do when someone leads with that kind of opening? The only thing possible:

You laugh right back, because it feels so darned good.

Turns out our friend Wallace (name changed to protect potentially-delicate ego) is volunteering for the Democratic party in Oregon, my home state. I had the privilege (and I completely mean that) of being his first call-ee. The very first person he called.

Good thing I was ripe for some laughter. And a bit of learning there, too.

Wallace could have shown any number of responses to his lost-script scenario. He could have dumped the phone. He could have crumpled into limp tissue. He could have quit his volunteer gig.

No. He laughed.

“Wallace,” I said between our mutual snorts of laughter, “you have totally made my day. Do you know how many times I’ve felt incompetent? And how much I needed to see that mistakes can be fun?”

Of course, Wallace couldn’t hear me. Between his laughs he was doing his best to serve up the sales pitch for his (and my) preferred candidate for governor.

Eventually our laughing hoots calmed, and we each remembered to breathe. I assured him that our candidate had my vote, and I thanked him profusely for (randomly) choosing me as the first person he dialed. We hung up.

Truth be told, I miss the guy. I adore him.

Because Wallace totally flopped. And then he flipped it right around.

How many times do we make calls to people where we’re really not energetically aligned? More often than we think. When you get on the phone with a prospective client , where’s your energy at?

I’m not asking about positive thinking. Far from it.

I’m asking if your energy is centered within you. If you totally blow it, where will you be?

I’d like to think that I still connect heart-to-heart with others, even if things go kablooie. Because that’s all that matters. Not some shiny slick script. Not some prepared stuff about who you are and what you do. Just me. Just you. Just our connection.

To flip when you flop, lean into who you are.

That’s all that it takes.

For Who You Are to be strong enough for that good leaning-into, you’ll need to stock up on lots of self-love, and lots of self-awareness, and maybe even a warehouse-sized pallet of personal transformation.

No problem.

Who You Are is complex, yes. But it’s also infinitely simple. There’s a core of Who You Are, a light in the middle, a Tootsie Roll center. The part of you that’s so dang good that you can’t help but lead with love.

And maybe a crazy bout of laughter so great that it changes lives.

Wallace didn’t just affect me for the two minutes we shared (ah, those sweet moments from our past). Wallace gave me a longer-term gift. He showed me how he leans into who he is, despite his mortal embarrassment.

I cannot honestly say that no one has died from embarrassment, as I’m not certain I can trust the statistics in that area. But I can honestly say that I haven’t died yet from it. I doubt that you have, either.

And I can honestly say that we can each learn to flip when we flop. We can go for the laughter. We can go for full presence. We can go for our own Tootsie Roll centers.

And someone out there will certainly be thanking us.