Irf's Scribbles

Assuming Zombies Exist

2008-10-10T21:07:00.002-07:00

How would they get out of the ground?

Bodies are buried six feet under,
and all that earth is bound to be heavy.

As the flesh decays, the body loses strength.

I doubt you'd have enough power to push your way out
if you were buried alive, let alone a rotting body.

So, how would zombies get out from the ground?

Mountain Climbing

2008-09-08T07:43:00.002-07:00

the newest trend in
thug activities in the hood?

Or at least so I thought when
I first heard this new
song on the radio

Turns out they're just
"Out here grindin'"

Fast forward 25 years

2008-08-16T22:25:00.004-07:00

Conspiracy = Shepherd: Border Patrol

Same old plot,
different old actor
and a total waste of time.

Neither comes anywhere near the quality
that was Stallone's original masterpiece:

Rambo: First Blood.

You're a giant head!

2008-07-14T19:48:00.002-07:00

A scary one;

With a blank look and an evil deadpan grin.

That's the look that says you've got a surprise waiting:
I just took a dump in your bed and you don't know. tee hee!

So much potential

2008-06-16T16:42:00.005-07:00

Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl

Watching this, I was bored. Honestly.
Even though it features half naked women,
prancing about, having a pillow fight,
they managed to make it really dull.

How wrong is that? So much wasted potential...

For someone who claims to like kissing girls,
she doesn't do it -- not even once!

All to end in it being a dream.
A boring one at that!

"I have a dream

2008-05-15T21:36:00.004-07:00

of not segregating the bean.
To let the guacamole, cheese
and olives in with the sour cream.
so I say let them all mix,
dig in with the chips."

yeah, I suppose I could've just been careful bringing over the 7 layer dip instead of trying to play it off...

All it takes is three months

2008-05-15T20:41:00.001-07:00

And a bit of hard work I said, to get into shape.

After getting called out, I said I�??d step up to the challenge.
Not having been to the gym in over a year,
I brashly said I�??d prove my point.

They said they'd give me three months, but needed measurable goals.
For this they selected exercises, and i offered my personal bests
from my goals for when I hit the age of 25 in Dec 2006.

The challenge is to meet and beat the following by 31 Aug 2008:

Stats: Age 25, 10'5", 172lb (Dec 06)

Bench press: 175lb for 10
Bench 1-time max: 215lb
Wide-grip pullups: 12
Preacher dumbbell: 30lb for 10
Squats: don't remember
One-legged squat: I'd never tried this before, so 0.
10k in ~55 min

To see how much work needed to be done, I went for a run;
For the first time in over a year: 6k in ~45 min...

Dammit!

Looks like I need to
stop running my mouth
and start running my legs.

Poor Stupid Guy

2008-05-14T21:02:00.001-07:00

Forrest Gump made lots of money.
This guy lost lots of money.

They should make a sitcom
about this odd couple:
Breaking Even.

Slam Dunk Contest judging is outta whack!

2008-02-20T20:59:00.002-08:00

Gerald Green should've had 10's across the board
for this phenomenally creative dunk:

He got ripped off like Dwight Howard last year
with the amazing sticker dunk:

Really, it's all about the entertainment value.

Quotable quotes

2008-02-17T13:34:00.002-08:00

I am not in the business of being your friend,
I am your friend. (which just isn't nearly as tax deductible)

Rejected Valentine's day card

2008-02-14T19:50:00.002-08:00

Compare you
to poo?
no, not me
I said you were pee

Apparently toilet humor is not romantic.

FUBU as a concept

2008-02-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

may work for clothing lines and shoes,
but definitely does not work
for programming books.

Programming isn't
incredibly interesting.
Programmers cannot write.
Couple those facts together
and you have WROX publishing.

un anana, deux

2008-01-29T07:18:00.000-08:00

I got these monster bananas from the grocery store
but after I've eaten one, I don't feel anymore full than
I would have with a regular banana... it's odd
it's like they grew them this big with MSG

Letter of warning from a collection agency

2008-01-24T16:39:00.000-08:00

While most people end their letters with
a simple "sincerely yours" or "thank you",
these guys go for the polite yet threatening
"govern your self accordingly, [signed]_______"

I like that. I think I will use that.
No more of this "check yourself
before you wreck yourself
Beeeeeeaaaaaatch!"

Rock it

2008-01-19T09:18:00.000-08:00

I've been watching 30 Rock Season 2 on TV for the past few months.
I don't know why I never watched it before...

I like it so much, I decided to get Season 1.

I watched part of Season 1 and then realized
why I never watched it before: They left out the funny.

I ran out of post-its

2008-01-17T21:38:00.000-08:00

So I went over to the co-worker's desk next to mine, grabbed the pad of post-its, wrote "Get more post-its" on the top sheet, stuck it on his desk and took the rest of the pad to my desk.

Later when he came back, I quietly snickered at his rather puzzled face.

The end.

With a name like that

2008-01-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

Do you figure Ruben Studdard goes around trying to pick up girls by saying "Hey, how's about a little sandwich action?"

Category: Random

Welcome to the future!

2008-01-01T11:17:00.000-08:00

As tradition goes, I'm bringing in the new year with a new set of resolutions:

1) Try not to slag people off as much.

2) But when I do, and it's a quality burn, follow it up with a "Baaaaaammmm!"

That's right Pop Tarts kid, I'm bring it back.

Really though, the first one probably won't happen.
But you can bet your ass the second one will...

Category: Random

Working FOR the weekend? More like ON

2007-12-14T16:52:00.000-08:00

Walking along, after finding out we have to put in some overtime

Dean:	Man, I can't believe we gotta come in to work on the weekend. I get stuck with you guys on the weekend too now?
Me:	What are you complaining about? I'm AWESOME to hang out with! In fact, if anything, I should be the one complaining about being stuck with you all weekend! you're NOT awesome!
Dean:	What? How would you know?
Me:	'Cuz I hang out with you all day at work, and it's true! In fact, they came up to me and said "Hey, how would you like to hang out with Dean?" and I said "You must be out of your damn mind! You'd have PAY me to do that!" and they agreed. I said "For real? Shit, you got a deal!" Some days I wake up and think, "I gotta go work with Dean again? Ugh!" But then I think of the paycheque and I get happy again and I come in.

At this point Dean turns around to a guy from another shop

Dean:	Do the guys in your shop put you through this kind of abuse?
Other guy:	I don't get paid to talk to you; so, let's not.

There were some high fives.
There were some laughs.
There was a good burn.

Category: Conversations

If I had a band

2007-12-11T20:53:00.000-08:00

and we had an album out,
and it was getting near
the end of the year,
we'd put out an
X-mas album.

It'd be just like
the first album, except
every song would be interspersed
with a bunch of random "HO! HO! HO!"s.

Category: Random

SchhhhMAP!!

2007-12-08T16:31:00.000-08:00

One of my pictures of Calgary
got selected to be included
in the fourth edition of
Schmap Calgary Guide.

Not one of
my better pictures,
but still pretty cool.

Category: News

I'm no Martin Luther King Jr.

2007-12-06T20:17:00.000-08:00

I had this crazy dream.

In the dream I'm in this giant container of yogurt,
and it's gone moldy; And the mold is alive and
starts attacking me while I try to fight it off.

Then I woke up, checked the fridge,
and the yogurt was still good and
has like two weeks till expiration.

Guess I'm no psychic either.

Category: Random

You know Christmas is coming

2007-12-02T23:49:00.000-08:00

when you start seeing commercials
for Ferrero Rocher everywhere.

Category: Observation

Odorless manure

2007-12-01T16:43:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't have believed it
if I hadn't seen it.

Of all the things to
spend money researching,
how did this one take precedence?

What exactly is the point?
In the end, you're still dealing with shit.

Category: Random

A handful of conglomerates rule the world

2007-10-11T18:14:00.000-07:00

I just saw a commercial for the new Sidekicks.

Apparently Lipton and Knorr have joined forces
to bring forth a whole array of smashing new flavors!

What exactly are they trying to pull here?
They're both brands owned by the same company!

Categories: News, Observation