Iriny Irony Of Life

Dad's condition

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:43:00 +0000

It's been a week since i flew in from London to KL. When i arrived KL last Thursday, dad came out of ICU. He also dreamt of heaven and was very glad the next day when he told us about his dream. He had big appetite, loved his food. I was glad to see the improvement. Isaac fell ill and had fever when he was in hospital. Friday, saturday and Sunday was spent being home taking care of feverish Isaac, with continuos cough and cold. Both of us did not visit dad because we were afraid of spreading the virus to dad. I was too naive , believing that dad is going to improve and get back to his normal self, who can cycled and cooked. Last two days i spend the night crying whenever i think of dad. Natural body decay mechanism has kicked in and it saddened me very much. Dad is very weak, he can't sit up from the bed on his own. I can't accept it. It happened all too quickly. Now, i have to prepare the home for dad to come back, to look for nurse, to loan a hospital bed so dad can be comfortable and spend as much time with him as possible. But, i also have to worry and settle Isaac. I can't do much with him around me. Sometime i have too much to think and do that i don't know where to begin. Mum has also fallen ill. I had sore throat now as well.. but i told myself that i can't fall ill.

Our Eden

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:13:00 +0000

Pears from our garden

Isaac first full day in nursery

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 07:50:00 +0000

Significant day today! Isaac officially starts his first full day in nursery from 830 to 600 pm.

How do I feel? Relieved ! He likes it there lots of things to do compared to our home. Also gives him a different environment and he can have his own circle now just add one more dimension to his life.

Nursery search

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 23:20:00 +0000

probably shopping is a better word. Been shopping on average one nursery per week.
. Sorry Isaac, i still haven't found one that i like , one that i am happy to put you in for 2 days a week. Come to think of it, i really don't have the heart to put you in a nursery Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 pm. I feel that i have so little time left for you.

Been to a montessori this morning. It felt like an education factory. Children were not happy, not smiley at all. They were very much suppressed in to "order and independence". "Here, we encourage the children to be independent..... " , "by the time they leave this place at the age of 4 , they will know digit 10 to 100, and multiplication, says the manager, introducing their factory.

So what? knowledge acquisition is not difficult for children, since their brain can absorb anything and everything.

What is important is i want children to be children. Not sitting in a classroom like students, telling teacher that today is "Monday" etc... who cares what day is today? I am a child, please treat me like one.

Very sad...

Sorry Isaac... this is definitely not the place that i want you to be, although this school definitely scores very high on the national OFSTED report.

Who cares?

i want my child to be happy and have childhood.

August Update

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 22:51:00 +0000

I have been visiting nurseries for Isaac but haven't found one that i
like. You know about women instinct, i can analyse lots with my brain
but something in my heart just doesn't feel right. isaac is a good
company now that he is learning to speak and amuse himself and me in
his own way. We are planning to go to HK/Malaysia in December and
January. Searching for cheap deals now.
We just moved to this house in August. This house is like canaan land,
two fruitful apple trees, one pear tree, some blackberries. We have
been picking lots of apple, making apple jam, making apple cake. The
garden is lovely. Picking apple tree is an activity for isaac and me.
When friends come over, we just picked from the tree and served the
apple. Such a luxury isn't it?
In front of our house, there is this huge park and playground. So
everyday, i bring Isaac to exhaust his energy. I made lots of friends
in the playground, talking to mum and making friends. My PR skills
have definitely improved since becoming a mother :P Also thank God
that i found a bible study group in a local church with creche. The
first week was not so good as isaac screamed and cried for me. So he
was with me but i completed the bible study on discipline.
We are also in the midst of writing letters and dispute the £600
claim from our previous landlord. We touched up the wall, out of good
intention la, same paint but different texture. Not obvious to naked
eye, but landlord fussy. So we are disputing.

Been very busy and fulfilled. Happy days !

London Chinese Makeup Artist

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 21:47:00 +0000

London Chinese Makeup Artist , more of her work can be seen at http://irenemakeup.wordpress.com

e-mail: irenemakeup1@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/londonweddinghair

Nursery Shopping

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 12:54:00 +0000

Been to few nurseries visit for Isaac but haven't found one that feels right.

So the shopping continues

Isaac language at 20 months

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 12:12:00 +0000

Isaac says shit shit when he actually means sit.

He says piss piss when he actually means please.

Today he said aubergine.

Very very cute stage and he makes me laugh sometimes

Isaac new nose

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 22:10:00 +0000

Isaac nose was scratched yesterday looks like red nose !

Isaac trip

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 12:44:00 +0000

London Chinese Makeup artist

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 23:26:00 +0000

London Chinese Makeup Artist Irene Tan at http://irenemakeup.wordpress.com

For price list or booking, please email irenemakeup1@gmail.com

Braised pork with black fungus

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 16:38:00 +0000

Craving for this dish today. Found the recipe online .. Fingers crossed it will turn out yummy!

Recipe here : http://mintyskitchen.blogspot.com/2010/09/hakka-braised-pork-belly-with-black.html?m=1

Isaac garden

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:09:00 +0000

Renting saga

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 09:34:00 +0000

We rented as a family last OCtober. Din have much experience so we touched up the wall with good intention to return the flat to it's original condition.

But our paint is glossy instead of matte paint.

So we have been charged £600 for them to repaint the wall.

There goes our renting experience!

London Chinese Wedding Bridal Makeup Artist

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:52:00 +0000

More of her work at irenemakeup.wordpress.com
Contact: irenemakeup1@gmail.com

London Chinese Wedding Bridal makeup Artist

London Chinese Wedding Makeup Artist

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 15:11:00 +0000

London Chinese Wedding makeup and Hair at irenemakeup.wordpress.com for more of her work.
Contact: irenemakeup1@gmail.com

Had a great time today at B’s place for chinese wedding makeup and hair trial. We just clicked like friends, and we chat about everything under the sky. I didn’t feel she is my client at all. It very much felt like a dress up and make up game that we used to play when we were young.

We tried different hairstyle and she looked absolutely stunning with purple eyeshadow. She looked like a celebrity, no kidding! Will post photo of her look on her wedding day. Watch the space

Anger what should I do with you?

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 16:43:00 +0000

Emotions are such complex thing. Isaac is starting to show his negative emotions or should I say his emotions are more "holistic" now. He is now fully aware of everything and understand what I say.Having such a big live mirror around me gives me pressure to be always composed and calm.well that's the ideal. Sadly that is not always the case.in addition there is one more party involved in this interaction:daddy.

Apart from the interaction between my son and I ,there is also this extreme complexity between husband and wife.

I am so angry with him that I don't know what to do. Have you ever come to this threshold that you are so ( times by infinite) angry that you just want to get equal but don't know how?

Very ungodly I know.

That's why I need JEsus. I know the know but JEsus has become so small and "invisible" in my life now.

Husband is in bible college but we don't read the bible together or pray properly. That shows what they teach in bible college huh ?Or maybe this is so obvious and so basic that they already expect by default this is what every bible college student should do anyway.

Just like how in church everyone is supposed to have quiet time devotion pray and read the bible and have close reltionship with God. So everyone assume everyone is doing it and at the same time everyone knows that not everyone does it.

This mainly also explain why I have been so irritable so dissatisfied with everything.unfulfilled spirit will only bear anger and irritable fruit.

It's a complex picture here:moving house, a new member in the family, me coping with my new status and way of life,me earning so much less than I used to,not satisfied career wise, nor being appreciated doing those daily Boring mundane small task call housework, trying very hard to be the perfect need and tidy wife

To sum up : I am far from it ....that's why I feel I am suffocating

Having gastric pain doesn't help much. Irregular meal times, swallowing my food as Isaac climbs all over while I try to eat ...

Tough tough. And right now I am so angry over my husband action this morning

I am just so angry ! Letting it out here ... My own space

transition

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 19:01:00 +0000

Manic few days.been sleeping at 9 coz too tired to pack.after three nights of sleeping early I still
Feel sleepy during the day so I have been lacking of sleep past one year long wAy to recover ?

Will send Isaac to nursery this September.have to lead some normal life.not been able to eat at normal pace, irregular times.stomach gastric pain more lately

Superwoman 2

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 10:01:00 +0000

Days have been manic that I knocked off into sleep at the same time as Isaac at 9pm all the way till morning 7am. Even that I still feed tired during the day.i think my lack of sleep and proper eating times have accumulated over a year. Two nights of early nights will not cure my long term lethargic overnight.

House is in a mess.have moved piano and two big filing cabinets and 10 moves of things so far. Worth mentioning is that Albert moved those 10 boxes at 12 30am all by himself because he has to work during the day.Big items are our of the way but it's the small stuff that takes the most time. Also, we have to archive things tonight so those things we can put in our old house garage.

Isaac is 20 months now and is becoming more demanding. Constant attention with ongoing stimulation,short concentration span, everlasting energy, ongoing whinging really drives me up the wall.Dont mind genuine cry but can't stand whinging and manipulative cry with crocodile tears.oh did I mention screaming too?

On top of that,I have mountain top clothes waiting for me to fold,Isaac clothes to sort according to his age,basketful of clothes to be washed.

To sum it all I can't cope with housework. It's an irony that I never needed to do housework when I was young now I have to do it all when I am old abs tired.sigh that's life man.

Guess superwoman is nor that super afterall ....it is just tough !

Now we move

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 23:54:00 +0000

We have decided to move out of this current flat because of mould issue ,cold during winter and expensive rent. Contract finishes 8th July. Next property that we rent will only be available in early AUgust because of flood problem and now doing repairing work.

Four weeks gap in between so been looking for roof over us. Found one place in Kent but not suitable for Isaac and not safe. Church friends have been kind enough to give us shelter.praise the lord!

Albert classmate also kindly let us use their garage to store out belongings so we can only carry luggage to church friends place( hopefully).

First round of moving piano and filing cabinet gone in the afternoon. More packing after dinner,managed to pack 11 boxes at 1130. Albert is very brave to move those boxes all by himself to the garage at 1230am midnight in addition to him working full day tomorrow.

My life is so interesting

View from my makeup job place

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 07:13:00 +0000

Hard earned money

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 13:36:00 +0000

Had a bridal makeup and hair trial on Saturday. I searched high and low for a babysitter as Albert had to work as well.Thank God a friend of mine is happy to help me out.Isaac has only met her briefly long time ago in a party. I was hoping everything would be fine .....

Striking the balance

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 20:06:00 +0000

Been really exhausted recently, been surviving on 5- 6 hours of sleep
on average everyday. Day time is with isaac, and night time is busy
with replying business clients email, research, advertisting, updating
website etc..

due to the exhaustion and early morning waking i.e. 6 am of Isaac, has
been impatient and irritable.

Plus Isaac has begin to show his dissatisfaction and protest by
screaming on top of crying and manipulative at the same time.

Been learning and asking other mothers how to deal with is, and am
learning the "cold" treatment way by ignoring him and it definitely
works!

Having said that, Isaac has also been fussy with his food and i
shouted at him and walked away when he spit out his food. I just
shouted once and walked away to the kitchen to cool myself down.

After that Isaac came to apologise by stroking me with his little
hand.. Aw... makes me feel so bad.

After that incident, i also learnt NOT TO SHOW MY TEMPER to my son. My
friend has been encouraging by sending me this link so i can read
about we don't even hit nasty people that we deal with at work , so
why do we hit our son or raise our voice, especially they are most
precious, closest person to us on earth. Well said...

I also learnt that this will negatively impact them.

SO, I WILL NOT DO 2 THINGS:

1. show my temper/outburst to Isaac
2. Will not hit him for minor things

Another mother as me to be "generous" : generous is allowing him to
mess up my carpet, my table etc.. and do not restrict him, because
everything to him is play.

Solution is to walk away from the situation when i realised i was
about to burst, and remain silent. If the son is being clingy and is
screaming, walk away, ignore him, no eye contact until he calms down.
Soon, he will learn that by screaming he will not get the attention
that he wants.

To sum up :
1. Say it in my heart: i will not show my temper to my beloved son
2. Warn the children that you are tired and you are about to burst
3. take the opportunity to teach the children to be understanding
4. give children "Cold treatment"
5. Appropriate in showing temper
6. Change your environment., smile to your child

About striking balance, i also read this line :

"If you are a full time mum, remember your first and foremost
responsiblity is to bring up your child, do not waste the time with
him because to them it's their everything "

I have lost sight of this as i have been too busy with other things.
Thank God it's not too late, tomorrow, i can have a new beginning... i
will do it better tomorrow

I am a super woman

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 20:51:00 +0000

At times like this I have to pat myself in the shoulder and say to myself :well done Irene!

I am a mother to a super active 19m toddler who dance on a piano chair ,climb up to the dinner table all by himself,carry a lightweight chair so he can climb on it to reach the light switch , get a stool by himself so he can reach an adult size screwdriver to name a few of his capabilities

A son who regularly wakes up at 6am despite every single method I use

Plus a full time Christian theology student Husband who had never ending reading ,essays,exam

Plus my business doing my own website,online advertising , updating websites , updating Facebook page with makeup tips,organise childcare so I can do my make up job and make up trials, reply clients emails and enquiries, travelling all over London and sometimes outside London for jobs,reading to keep myself updated ....

Plus cracking my brain what to cook for my fussy son ,my student husband ,tidying the mess that my son make,never ending washing of dishes,clothes ,folding clothes ,vacuum,

Plus flat viewing,packing (again since our last move last October), organising which is to throw and keep ..... and organising our moving of house,

oh please tell me I an doing well ,by the grace of God who had been so good to me

Still on a madness journey

noreply@blogger.com (irene) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 21:13:00 +0000

lack of Sleep, lack of food, = Irritated mummy...

Poor Isaac... i lost my patience and i felt guilty.

He knew he has upset me and when i asked him to say sorry to me, he
stroked me.

I find i am always raising my voice when i try to stop him doing
dangerous stunt.

Lord, Give me more patience and gentleness !