irrationally rational

Delhi 6: Music Review

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 10:59:00 +0000

Delhi 6.
Music: AR Rahman
Lyrics: Prasoon Jhoshi.
Director: Rakeysh OmPrakash Mehra.
Rating: ****

I am a person who believe in theory of diminishing utility. The more something is available for the public consumption, the lesser is its value. I believe it is the unavailability of AR Rahman that made him a legend of our time. So when I first came to know about ARR's association with Delhi 6 project I was a bit apprehensive, there was too much of ARR for me, more than ever, during 2008.
Of course, its my sheer gut that ARR can never be "average" made me wait before I could review the music for Delhi 6. Its typical of ARR music to settle 'late' in you.

Well, much to your knowledge, the Masakali sits on your tongue instantly. There is a naughty touch to the tune and Mohit Chauhan did a great a job to bring that naughtiness to the song. The best part of the song is that it makes you smile, it churns out that happiness out of the soul. I was inadvertantly smiling and banging my head as I hear Mohit Chauhan performing the tounge twisting composition. Masakali is for sure a song that would haunt you for next few months. Fresh and very AR Rahman.

The next track Arziyan reminded me of khwaza mere kjwaaza. As expected from these genres, the metallic voice Khailash Kher and melodious Javed Ali competing voices will take you into trance. The song takes some time for settling on you, but once it does so, it creates its own space. Prasoon Joshi did a good job with lyrics.

The next track Dilli-6 seriously sounded like Paatshaala types. The beats are simple and good and there was a good fusion with some rapping mixed with metal and alternate rock. Blaaze, Benny Dayal, Vivinenne, Tanvi and Claire really did a good job. The song is very young and I guess its a definite disco mix. I guess this song will be played as in bits and pieces all over the movie especially "yeh Delhi hain meri yaar". The transition from one genre to another was performed effortlessly and the song would be a definite chart buster.

You would then come to what I think is the best song of the album. Rehna Tu starts with a a very groovy beat and in no time Rahman intrudes and the next six minutes he would take you to an altogether a different world. Your heart just flows along with the song as Rahman plays with swaras, the song ends with a flute performance, the flute was played at a very base level then picks up very high notes with Rahman humming in the back ground ocassionally, this is what made the song special to me, this is definitely scores better than Masakali. Prasoon Joshi's lyrics were just perfect for the romantic wonder.

Hey Kalaa Bandar again is in lines with Dilli-6 a good dance number, the beats are groovy though the song is not fresh it makes your feet tap.

Dil Gira Dafatan sounds more like poetry sung slowly with some guitar and really takes a very long time to settle in you. Each and every note of the song touches your heart, the guitar work is so awesome that it altogether takes you to another world. I am expecting this song to be the Tu bin bataye type used by Om Prakash. This song definitely has a special aura that flawlessly mesmerizes you to feel the romance. There is this one part of the song where the notes go pretty high, this part was performed very well by Ash King and the ocassional humming by Chinmayee added nice flavor to the song.

Ghenda Phool is a pleasant surprise for me. For the first few seconds it sounds like a folk song that was there in Saathiya but within no time ARR's genius steps in with an awesome western fusion. The song is fun to listen and you thoroughly enjoy the song. A typical close-your-eyes-bite-your-lips-and-tap-your-feet type song. Will be remembered for quite some time.

Bhor Bhaye is a Ghulam Ali composition, so not many comments from me and neither are any for Aarti.

Overall, Delhi-6 is a pleasant surprise for me. ARR did not disappoint me if not bettered his own scores that he earned in his recent releases. Prasoon Joshi did justice to wonderful compositon. I rate the music at 4 out of 5.

My picks: Masakali, Rehna tu, Ghenda Phool, Dil Gira Dafatan

My pongal...

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 04:11:00 +0000

I celebrated pongal with family after three years. I still remember those childhood days when we used to go to our grandparents’ place every pongal and enjoy the pleasures of village. It has been eight years that I had been to my grand parents’ place and this year my mom was hell bent to be at my grandparents’ place.

I packed my things in back pack and got ready for a 2 hour joy ride in a bus (there is no helipad at the destination so could not use my copter). Now an ardent follower of my blog would instantly understand the affinity I have for the government buses.

The moment we entered the bus station, a couple of khaki clad men started lobbying about a bus that would not stop before our destination, and they promised to drop us there in less than two hours, once they cross the city. Given the unsuspecting nature of our parents, I ended up in a 2X2 seater, which is generally used for intra city shuttling.

The bus was half filled when we entered, with an occasional nylon gunny bag blocking the way. My parents settled in an empty two seater and I settled beside them in an Aisle side seat as the window one was already occupied. Our khaki clad men were talented they poached upon a lot of customers and the bus was more than full now. Both of them kept on shouting non-stop incessantly. It worked, as there were lots of passengers flocking the bus like the flies flock to jaggery.

For the next fifteen minutes, the bus stopped at any place that the bus could stop and the khaki clad men, the driver and the conductor, kept on shouting ‘non-stop’. The more they shouted non-stop more people started boarding the bus. Soon my parents went out of my sight, as the space between us was filled by a family of eight. There was a father, two mothers (my assumption) and five kids. The family happily settled on the floor and occupied the space between my limbs and my body. It’s like I immersed my left leg and left hand into the sea of people, you get the picture?

The bus stopped again, the men shouted non-stop incessantly and the cycle continued. This time there were more people, I felt as if I was going to be part of team that won Guinness record for accommodating maximum number of humans in a small area. A space which was once occupied by just three people is now occupied by more than twenty people and some uncountable bags of God knows what. There were three people between my left hand and left leg, four kids between my legs, two bags and a person between my right leg and right hand. My shoulders and head were spared as I was wearing a T-shirt.

The bus stopped again. I gave up and took a mental note to change the meaning of the word ‘non-stop’ as the driver shouted the word again. In a few minutes the buildings of the concrete jungle that spawned along the road were replaced by greenery. Not knowing exactly where my body parts were there, I decided to take a nap, I was almost successful if I were not to smell the aroma of under arm of one of the person surrounding me. The distance between my nose and his armpit was second only to the record set by a gentleman when I was travelling in a Mumbai local, another difference was that the gentleman used a deodorant.

There is one more thing that is typical of buses in long journeys in our part of the world, people throwing up. There is no problem if they throw up once, but they do it as if they are paid by someone if they sporadically shout Oaaaak with special long emphasis on O and extra stress on K, hearing it for three or four times would automatically induce a nauseating feeling only amplified by the gentleman’s armpit.

The bus stopped again, after a long interval though. When I said the bus stopped, it is not the normal stopping, where we see a bus loaded with people dashes its way into a thousand passengers waiting anxiously in the bus stop, where an undoubting onlooker would die of tension, speculating on how many would be crushed to death by those hefty tires. But this time the bus came to a screeching halt. Like in many places in India, animals like cows, buffaloes and goats pay road taxes; at least they behave so, when they use the road in a direction perpendicular to the normal crossing roads at incredibly slow speeds. Our bus encountered one such herd of lazy buffaloes. Within seconds the demography of the bus changed as if it was a migration season. The family of eight surrounding my body had been replaced by a smaller family and few nylon gunny bags, I am not sure if there had been any expulsions out of the bus. Before even I could think about the law of conservation of mass, the bus accelerated and the small family and gunny bags were again got replaced by the family of eight; I breathed.

Meanwhile, the gentleman sitting beside me, after hitting my shoulder with his head a few times, found a comfortable position on my shoulder to take a power nap, which of course I disturbed almost immediately. I don’t like oil patches on my T-shirt. However, I could not stop him from collapsing into my lap, which acted as a blessing in disguise s he woke up and found a resting shoulder on the glass window.

The deep orange light that lit the horizons a while ago was then replaced by twinkles of stars. The greenery was then replaced by an occasional hut. After a few more stops of ‘non-stop’ bus, it became almost empty. I could see my parents again. The cycle was complete, we alighted the bus.

…… to be continued.

Review: Slumdog Millionaire

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 11:57:00 +0000

10^th January 2009, I was in an A/C chair car of a train that is heading towards my home town.

I settled in the seat, the one which I reserved. There is something peculiar about travelling in trains. It instantly gives you the sneak peek into the much talked about the rising affluence of Indian middle class. Now there is a catch with this, by rising affluence I mean there is richness in everything, I mean what is once accessible only to rich and powerful is now available to masses. So rising affluence means there are more people everywhere.

The A/C compartment in which I was travelling is no exception. There are people everywhere; I mean there are more people without reservation in the compartment than there are people with reservation. Chaos was the word!

A few minutes into the journey, things settled down. Now is the time for please-look-at-me-I have-a-mobile clad people to show off their pseudo affluence to others, so there are a few dudes who pulled out a mobile and the whole atmosphere was filled out with a tweeting sound everywhere. There was one such person beside me.

Now, this guy is a real dude. He pulled out a laptop and much to his expectations the girl opposite dropped her jaw and bit the back of her palm. His eyes twinkled as the lappie made the standard windows login sound. After all the hush-hush about the machine settled, the media player beamed out a few noises, it’s a movie; a new one too.

I was in no mood to watch a movie. Primarily there were questions about personal choices; I was not too happy to watch a movie and secondarily there were question of conscience- the movie seemed pirated. But I peeked into the screen and believe me my friends, I engulfed by the movie for next hundred twenty minutes.

When I started watching, I saw a few kids playing cricket on the edge of a runway and police chasing them; an awesome score of music from behind. It went on O saya…. The song was great to say the least; it instilled in you the spirit of freedom.

A few minutes into the movie, I realized that a teenage guy was being interrogated by policemen. Apparently, he was suspected of a fraud in a show and earned around 10 million rupees. As the police interrogate Jamal Malik looking at the video of the show so far, we see the movie through the eyes of Jamal. How he answered each of the question from his life experiences to become a millionaire.

I laughed my heart out looking at how Jamal, as a kid, gets the autograph of Amitabh; the experience which helped him answers the very first question. The gripping screenplay completely engrossed me here as I enjoyed the childhood of Jamal and his elder brother Salim. The movie then changed the gear from subtle humor to thought provoking and sensitive mood as Jamal explained how communal riots took his mother’s life to teach him that lord Rama carries a bow and arrow in his right arm, the answer to the next question. Also, at this juncture Jamal sowed the seeds for his future love, he introduced Latika here.

The train stopped, I looked out of the window for a moment only to see scores of beggars, most of them children, flocking the windows of the train. They were begging alms showing much younger people in their arms. I could instantly relate to Jamal’s narration of how he knew the answer to the question about the author of a song "darshan do ghanshaym". The movie gave intricate details about how a begging racket works.

The sympathies and disgust that the communal riots instilled in me slowly metamorphosed to anger as Jamal told the inspector how he had to lose Latika and almost his eyes to know the answer for the next question.

Just as I thought the movie got serious, Jamal and Salim grew up and Jamal took me through how he tasted the dollars as he and his brother Salim cheated foreigners as fake guides at the Taj Mahal. And Jamal answers the question on American Dollar to become a millionaire.

I looked around, there was a young couple talking to each other with just eyes. I looked around only to see humans paired up with their loved ones; they are talking, smiling, conversing, worrying but all of them had one thing in common- love. Its love; love in its purest form devoid of all materialistic desire.

This is what you feel when teenage Jamal, along with his elder brother Salim, returns to Mumbai just in search of Latika. Here Jamal is exposed to another evil of the Indian society-flesh trade. Jamal comes to know that young Latika was forced into prostitution. Your blood boils.

My anger amplified when someone from the corner of the seat made an angry gesture to reduce the volume, he had a logic in his demand. But it was not the time for logic, the movie engrosses you so much that instigates revenge in you.

Your anger subsides when Salim pulls out a colt 45 revolver and kills the racketeer. Salim would later be befriended by a local don and becomes a small don himself. Jamal loses Latika again, this time to his own brother. He then leads the life of an assistant at a call center.

The remaining movie thrives upon how Jamal gets on to the show just to make sure that Latika sees and comes to him. To know how this happens, you will have to see the movie.

Dev Patil, Tanay Chheda, Ayush Khedkar- the three characters who played Jamal at various stages were simply great. The director got the best out of them, I liked the kid Jamal (Ayush) the most; innocent, sweet and very expressive. The screen play was so gripping that your mood changes along with the movie for each scene, you feel what Jamal feels as he narrates his story. The music, though I could not figure out much, sounded great during a few songs like O saya and Ringa…Ringa.

Overall, Slumdog millionaire is the first great thing to happen to me this new year, I am really happy that I watched this movie and it is beyond any doubt that it is one of the best movies I’d ever seen. It is a must watch for everyone.

Virgin Mobile job offer fraud....

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 19:20:00 +0000

Can you believe? I have just got an offer letter from VIRGIN MOBILE. They are offering me 100,000 GBP w/o even interviewng me :D. Well it is a fraud letter. Preliminary examination tells you Virgin's head quarters adress is given wrong. I am planning to take up this with police in India. If you have recieved this kind of letter please check the mail domain it is coming from. Anything else than virginmobile.com should be a fraud. Also please check the adresses and contacts from Virgin Mobile before you rush. I am publishing the offer for your reference. Please beware!

Registered Office:
8-10 Queens berry Place
South Kensington.
London SW7 2EA.
27th DECEMBER 2008.

CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS:
35 Brook field Road,Ilford, United Kingdom London .
TELL: +447031970112

SOFT COPY OF YOUR CONTRACT LETTER

Dear Anil Kumar Pappu,

After the review of your CV/ RESUME and Answers to the submitted Online Questionnaire, the Management Board of VIRGIN MOBILE UK has decided to employ your services for the provision of expertise to her Company in London, United Kingdom.Please find attached herewith this e-mail, relevant document containing the Soft Copy of your Job Offer Package for your perusal and approval.YOUR JOB OFFER SUMMARY IS AS FOLLOWS:

BASIC SALARY: GBP 8,475.00(Eight thousand four Hundred and Seventy Five Great Britain Pounds)
JOB TITLE:Product Development,
JOB REF: 007/08/VM/VGT/T5Y
JOB CODE: 080/VM/101
STARTING DATE:FLEXIBLE
JOB LOCATION: LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.

THIS AGREEMENT is made today job is been offered to you between Virgin Mobile of the one party and you as a second party.For good consideration, Virgin Mobile employs the Employee on the following terms and conditions.

ARTICLE 1: CONTRACT PERIODThe contract period shall be for Contract duration: The contract shall last for duration of 60 consecutive months; 5 years and could be renewed only if employer is satisfied with employee's services and could be reduced if employee request for amendment of duration.
.........................................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................................................................
+447031970112mailto:Email%3Avm.joboffer@live.comVirgin Mobile.BRIEF INFORMATION ABOUT VIRGIN MOBILE:The VIRGIN MOBILE Online Employment System welcomes you to our company and wishes you to join and work with us.VIRGIN MOBILE is proud to have a multinational workforce, consisting of over 17 different nationalities.

Ghajini review

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:34:00 +0000

The wait is finally over and I am just back from Ghajni. I booked for the preview show, that itself shows the expectations I had for the movie. Here I am, awake at 2:30am writing the review for the movie and this should explain the fact that I am far from being disappointed.

The expectations that are set by the immaculate marketing campaign, the trade mark of Aamir would just rise when you look at the titles, which look like sneak peek into the human brain. The next ten minutes were spent in comparing the movie to the Telugu version. In fact I was a bit disappointed to realize that to an extent it was a screen to screen copy of the Telugu version. However, the director quickly pulls you in by some nerve tickling humor and from then, no looking back as the movie goes ahead with each scene promising that there is more to come.

Anyone who says that Ghajni is a standard revenge type movie where hero chases the villain to death, they surely have missed a lot of the movie. The movie has all the aspects that a good entertainer should have. It starts with humor that Kalpana(Asin) churns in while Sanjay (Aamir) falls for her is really good. Kalpana is a smart, innocent, talkative, independent, ambitious and socially responsible girl who is good enough to attract the Harvard graduate business man Sanjay.

The plot unfolds showing how Sanjay who was once a smart young business man who balances his life to heed to his innocent girl friend now becomes a brute force killing machine. Sanjay as the short term memory loss patient hardly has any dialogues. His eyes spoke everything; in fact the best part of the movie is to feel along with Sanjay the pain of losing a loved one and how that pain becomes uncontrollable and turns into revenge, all this happens as you look into eyes of Aamir and you cheer each time Sanjay kills one each from the villain’s gang.

The performances were all fabulous, the screen play was awesome, the fights were well designed, and last but not the least AR Rahman's music was great to say the least. One thing that came to me as a pleasant surprise was that the climax was different from the Telugu version. All in all Ghajni has come out well, the emotions of person who lost his love- the theme of the movie- came out sound and healthy. For all this, Ghajni is a definite paisa vasool and so a must watch.

We shall have something like these....

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:28:00 +0000

There was a sudden tickling feeling on my thigh. I instantly doubted the man sitting beside me; I hated him for ignoring the other empty seats in the bus and choosing the empty seat beside me. And the worst part is he did this when- you know what- just entered the bus. The feeling was like you were hogging upon nice yummy biryani and you enthusiastically chewed a four inch long chilly.

So when I was waiting like sulking child waiting for an opportunity to vent out this anger, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Though I wished the guy messed with me so that I could give it back to him amplified (please note that I am still straight), the feeling waned in a matter of a few seconds as my brain responded to the stimuli and recognized that my phone was ringing. I carefully reached for it; it was Muley- my room mate.

Of late we have been practicing a lot for the ‘World’s laziest bum’ contest. So as a part of the practice we have decided to work on our dinner plans and decided to pick a parcel on our way. I agreed half heartedly as this means a few extra steps with my newly bought designer Italian shoes (for all those who do not know how I look, the next time you observe a tall fair guy with shoes that are too long, too slim and too shiny, like the ones the hero in the fairy tales wear…… errr that SRK wears, you can safely conclude that its me).

So as I carefully ascended the steps of our take home biryani center, my concentration was instantly bought by the owner who seem to be extremely interested in my ID card. There is nothing more contending than some attention for an average SE engineer. So I moved the ID into and away from his line of vision and enjoying the way he hypnotically craned his neck like a pendulum (as I am writing this I am cursing myself for having not concentrating on my new shoes ). Things got more exciting when he did not move away from the ID, for first I was a bit worried about getting mugged, but that was a very stupid thought. I instantly praised my laziness for not being able to thought further.

As the next few seconds were spent in trying to control the adrenaline rush into the blood, the excitation peaked when the owner approached me and took hold of my ID. I widened my eyes; and even a child observing me would have concluded that I had a throat infection by looking at my upper throat; I opened my mouth so much. I gave up my oath to laziness and started thinking about the possible reasons for the owner’s interest in my ID card. My brain started calculating all the possibilities- Is the guy a big fan of Infosys? Is he going to offer us some exorbitant discounts? Or DOES HE READ MY BLOG? DID HE RECONGNIZE THE GREAT AKP? I stopped breathing at this instant. I needed to listen to his intentions to choke myself back to breathing.

He said “Hamare paas aisa bhi kuch hona chahiye”.

I flushed instantly; he apparently wants to issue this kind of ID cards to his staff too. My face turned pale, to control the bile I had to cancel the order we placed and rush off the center taking enough care not to damage my new Italian designer shoes.

rab did not have taste.

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 04:22:00 +0000

I finally conceded upon my celibacy. I gave in to- you know what- at one of those ubiquitous multiplexes which are more of vacuum cleaner for your wallets. After a long period of inactivity of not being screwed by hindi movies, I have had my share yesterday; I watched rab ne banadi Jodi. I am cursing myself as I am writing these lines. Not that I hated watching the movie, but because people who liked the movie suggested it for its romantic comedy.

The first half was spent in spasmodic slumber. While the ‘not so real’ emotions are grinded upon you in completely unreal sets which are a pain to see, it is just the occasional funny one liners that wake you up as the theatre explodes into an occasional burst of laughter. In fact things get so boring that people did not laugh at what I think as the best line of the whole movie-mera naam hain Raj, naam tho suna hoga? While audience start doubting their intelligence when the questions like why can’t Suri be as fluid as Raj pop up, I felt like a sheep for being taken granted so much that I was made to believe that Tanee could not make out the difference between Raj and Suri.

Most of you know that the screenplay sucked and the storyline was as boring as Russian romantic novels where nothing happens till page number 380 where the hero decides to commit suicide. So I will not talk about it, what irritated me the most is the spineless nature of both the characters Raj and Suri. Both are idiotic enough to dance to the tunes of an emotionally tortured woman whose ideal world is far from reality. Though there is logic behind the concept that Suri wanted to know if Tanee loves the extrovert Raj or introvert Suri, the concept makes sense only if both are different. The whole movie for sometime seemed like an extension of kabhi alvida na kehna, the story was lack logic, the screenplay sucked is an understatement, art direction was no better and the movie was so long that I contemplated walking out.

Coming to the performances, Sharukh was fabulous; his talent was for sure wasted here. I am not sure how much more did he charge for wearing those please-look-at-me-and-puke-instantly clothes. Neon yellow t shirt, blue track suit and red shoes! Anushka was awesome, each and every inch of reel of hers in the movie has come out with the correct emotion, and I seriously feel that she has got a great career ahead. Vinay as usual is good. Overall if you are a smart person and hate emotional manipulations you can instantly avoid this movie. However, if you are a mushy person or an introvert who feel extra uncomfortable talking your feelings to girls, then maybe you can give it a try.

Pappu's fundae

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:54:00 +0000

Try and try till you don't know what to do.

Basic Instincts

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:31:00 +0000

Today is Diwali, festival of lights. Though I believe that one has to celebrate when one really wants to, it is really heartening to see how millions of people actually get into celebrating mode during the festive time. Well, if you ask me why on earth am I writing about my observations about celebrations, when I am actually supposed to be out there on the turf, celebrating; the answer is that I am stuck at around 1200kms from my home, without any purpose or reason.

Well, keeping aside my reasoning on why I stuch back, I just thought I will celebrate my diwali in the most satisfying way possible: scribbling a few lines in my blog.

It has been quite sometime since I have last visited my blog. Honestly I am not finding time to write, though there are quite some ideas. But as of now, I have a mission- MBA. So I am putting everything else in back seat, however I thought I will celebrate my diwali by blogging, I just read a few of my blogs again, I found that there are more grammatical errors than there are words; thanks to GMAT SC.

I have become quite incoherent, didn't I? Anyways, the vacuum that was created since morning has been filled up, I felt that I have celebrated. Guys a very happy deepawali.

Veeru and Jai got a new job?

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:47:00 +0000

Looks like VRL travels has hired Veeru and Jai, take a closer look at the screen grab.

chinese rock :D

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:00:00 +0000

I was going through my daily dose of news and stumbled across this. Couldn't help but laugh; no time for a longer post guys, keeping busy of late. See you all soon. And yeah, chinese rock, dont they??

Gyan.....

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:04:00 +0000

The biggest frustration in life is to show that you are not frustrated....

Life in a PMT bus.

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 14:19:00 +0000

I don’t generally stay back beyond six at office, not that I am a very strict person who believes in the work and personal life balance, but there is something that awaits me at 6 o clock in the evening that peps up my otherwise dull life.

I am no flier in writing, so I kind of make it as succinct as possible for you to read so that you don’t go back to your outlook window, pretending to work on a problem, which if not solved immediately would melt all the ice in Siberia or would cause flash floods in Sahara.

Talking about the excitement I get for leaving at six in the evening, you will be surprised to know that it’s all about a boring red box on four wheels, what we affectionately call as a PMT bus. For my all the more scarce non-Punite readers in the minority of my blog readers, PMT is Pune Municipal Transport. Wait! There should be something more, this is not that exciting, is it? So let’s read on.

The PMT bus that I travel.
I do not know about others, but there is something really enthralling about the PMT bus journey that amuses me, may be the greatness of the PMT bus (do you know that the PMT has the ultimate post modern era's symbol of greatness? Yes it has a Wikipedia entry ) or may be the way these buses are driven. Whatever it may be, the amusement is just there.

So after I marched out of my office panting and gasping for the breath when the unsuspecting security checked my laptop, I directly headed for the PMT bus, hired by our company to make up for the commuting demands of ever increasing employee base. Just as I am about to board the bus, I was greeted by two middle aged men, with all the excitement of a child who is dying to wait before it could wear its new pair of clothes. Well, people call these two the driver and the conductor; I call them the don and his capo régime. Whatsoever, they will be hence forth referred to as the Veeru, the driver and the Jai, the conductor.

That's Veeru (in khakhi) staring inquisitively into camera.

The very moment I entered the bus, my searching eyes landed on a vacant seat beside a lady and even before I could react, the lady returned a venomous look which the ladies reserve for a rogue guy. I am in no mood to fight egos; I am here for a far more exciting experience than sitting beside an attitude filled lady. I instantly excused her and settled in an abandoned seat near a window.

In a little while after I sat in the seat, a whistle went off and there was a sudden jerk. The jerk, a very violent one, would instigate you to believe that the earth has given up on bearing the weight of this malicious world and decided to rest for eternity, but it’s just the beginning of an exciting journey in the PMT bus and the whole scene resembles a formula one race among a few about-to-conk buses.

With in no time, unless you have taken a very boring decision of catching a power nap, you will observe that this otherwise ubiquitous machine has almost overtook a dozen buses as you shake and violently vibrate about your base and thereby intensely strengthening your abdomen; I seriously suspect that all my co-passengers have developed/will develop a sexy six pack or at least a four pack if they are traveling consistently in the said PMT.

My journey back home consists of three parts:

1) Taxiing.

2) Take off

3) Landing.

Taxiing:

I wanted to use the word congested for the three kilometer stretch of road that connects my office to the highway, but that very night I had nightmares of Shakespeare whipping the wits off me and so I realized that congested is a very mild word to be used for this stretch of road where the vehicles move as fast as the earth’s tectonic plates or even worse. So you get how bad the condition is, no?

But ours was a different case. Veeru is a class apart; he is one of those rare species who believes in the movie Speed, and thinks that lifting the feet off the gas pedal would blow the bus off, and his desperation was so extreme that, if he were to die in the bus and has to lift his feet off, he would haunt the bus for the rest of the life or death or whatever it is called. And this makes the taxiing a daunting task for Veeru, only if Jai, the capo regime, were not to be there.

That's Jai trying to lift a bus off that blocked our way.

Jai would remind you of your childhood friend who used to watch you with an engrossed enthusiasm and excitement and used to shout directions on how to maneuver your car in your latest video game. Jai is just that and much more. Apart from giving real time driving directions to Veeru, he acts as confidence booster by making an occasional gesture like waving his hand in the air resembling more of a commander in chief instructing ferociously on the battle field.

If you think that Jai’s driving directions are just the left, right sorts of thing at a confusing road intersection, then you are as mistaken as when you think that MNS has started endorsing Hindi. Jai is more like a solution to a complex space problem, he calculates in real time the space required for the bus to maneuver and shouts and gestures at Veeru so that Veeru just zips across the traffic leaving behind a big tail of traffic, remember that all this should happen with enough care so that the 50 odd passengers are not thrown out of their seats as they are jolting violently while they are riveted to the seat. Of course rules never existed for these two and safety is an eternal issue.

With such an adept crew on board it is little surprise that we will manage to sneak through the hap hazard traffic with ease, just as water seeps through the bed rock. But it is worthwhile to observe the passengers in the bus. Each of the passengers would be as petrified as a cat which suddenly realizes that it has been playing with a muscular Doberman’s tail all this while. All they could manage is to close their eyes and pray harder hoping for the best to happen, and for ardent adventure lovers like me, its just fun to watch the whole drama.

My heart races as the bus zips through the traffic as if it never existed, but the best part of the taxiing is to watch the pedestrians cross the road as our bus zooms through the road. An unsuspecting observer would come to a firm conclusion that the bus’s tyre would happily hog upon someone just like a child would burst a balloon.

But Indians are too smart for that, years of experience in crossing the road in the most extreme conditions has made each Indian so expert in road crossing that they can cross the road blind folded, of course even with out a blind fold it hardly matters as they do not care what comes across, they just cross the road. They are however safe unless Salman Khan is a Software Engineer (which is a remote possibility according to Aamir Khan) and he commute to office drunk using his BMW.

That's a lucky pedestrian who crossed our bus successfully
Veeru, of course, is no Salman Khan and remember, we are traveling in a PMT. So the pedestrians are generally safe, though they are at a very high risk of being spray painted with a liter of mud water if it’s a rainy season.

In any which way we will reach the Runway (Highway) in a time much lower than the average time required by any other dashed vehicle on that road.

Take Off:

With in a few minutes of ‘hard drive’ on the runway, you would start wondering if Schumacher is driving the bus for a formula none race. If not for the violent jolting, thanks for the excellent road condition, one would bet a year’s salary and would contend that the bus is flying. ‘Veeru rocks’ is just an understatement.

As all the passengers are closing their eyes tightly and hoping that the bus wouldn’t fly, there was deep hollow scowl; it sounded something like “Aiiiiyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee”. The scowl has horrifying enough to arrest an unsuspecting heart to eternity. And this made the ‘Venomous look’ clad lady to eject out of her seat with fear. It took a daunting effort for me refrain from giving a high five to Jai, the person who scowled, for frightening the wits off the lady.

But Jai had other ideas when he scowled. Veeru and Jai are very environment conscious, and they did not want to pollute the environment with unnecessary honking, so they promptly removed the horn and Jai took up the responsibility to warn all those people whom Veeru thinks that are dangerously close to our vehicle, Veeru operates in nano dimension terms and Jai’s scowl coupled with the dangerous proximity to the vehicle would provoke anyone’s heart to arrest itself immediately to save time. No doubt the lady was so petrified.

And this excitement will reach its peak when Veeru tries to overtake a vehicle, left or right does not matter. Let’s see how Veeru and Jai perform the overtaking feat.

Let’s say Veeru wants to overtake other vehicles (henceforth called as victims). A cursory check was performed by Jai and he calculates the fastest route to reach a point that is a kilometer ahead, Veeru then increases the speed of the bus to at least double that of the victims’ and if there is another victim in the way, the overtaking is not abandoned, in such a case the accelerator is depressed to abysmal and the headlights are ‘dim dipped’ vigorously, this means the responsibility to avoid an impending collision is completely with the victim and in case, the victim does not oblige, Jai jumps into action and scowls; this scowl, as described above, is good enough to bring the victim to a screeching halt or may be pulling itself into the roadside pastures. And that completes the overtaking task.

By then, most of the passengers in the bus would be hoping to heaven and hell that there will be no more excitement for the evening; the way Kareena does in the movie Jab we met. Their prayers will be answered unless a dog will be too eager to meet its mate on the other side of the road and crosses the road before Veeru could, what happens then is a well known fact or you can refer my blog.

So after a few more overtaking feats we will be ready to land.

Landing:

Just as I tried to recollect my insurance agent’s number for obvious reasons and almost took a firm decision that I will be at least a mile away from a PMT bus next time I drive, I have realized that I have reached my destination and got ready to exit the ‘ride’. I stood up and started walking along the gang way catching hold of little plastic hangings provided. But, only then did I realize that it was stupid of me to conclude that the ride was over and Veeru gave a ‘picture abhi bhaki hain dost’ look as he started breaking the vehicle spasmodically.

This spasmodic breaking would make the passenger who is standing a pendulum and the passenger starts swinging about the point of suspension. So when Veeru gave the final touch to our ride, a co-passenger became a pendulum and crashed into me with his under arm under my nose, I suspect if he were not to use the deo I would have fainted instantly.

For a moment I wondered what if Veeru’s romance with the breaks would make me slip and fall on the ‘Venomous look’ clad lady, before my brain could open its creative gates the bus came to a screeching halt. I alighted the bus, only to find that I was hyper ventilating and my pupils are dilating, man that was one hell of a ride.

The next fifteen minutes were spent in a desperate attempt to cross the road, apart from failing miserably, I looked as if I was rehearsing a primitive kind of tribal dance in a formal dress code, but then I have made up my mind, closed my eyes and started running towards the other end hoping that there are no more PMT buses coming. No doubt that so many dogs die on the highway.

Whatsoever, I felt that I just came out of one of those fun rides in amusement parks and whined at the fact that I will have to wait for another 24 hours to have the ride again.

Now you know, why I die to leave at six, don't you?

A Wednesday.

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 08:16:00 +0000

".......in this world there comes a time when the most humble of men, if he keeps his eyes open, can take his revenge on the most powerful." said Mario Puzo in his block buster novel The God Father.

Well, the analogy between "the god father" and "A Wednesday" ends there. But these are powerful enough fewlines to describe the whole movie.

My friend who is a teetotaler came out and said, is this what getting high all about?

The movie has the wall paper of terrorism, an all the more common theme in India , but it comes out with a surprisingly gripping pliot line, which just rips your adrenaline glands off.

The movie basically acts like a voice to a common man and almost acts as crater to vent out your frustration on the anti social elements who play with normal people for no mistake of theirs. I do not intend to discuss any more on the plot of the movie becuase it falls under those categoury whose plot needs to be kept a secret for a person to enjoy the movie.

Coming to the performances, Naseeruddin Shah was stunning to say the least, his climax speech is a classic and takes the audience to a level higher. Anupam Kher, Jimmy Shergill and Abbas were as lucid in their roles as anyone could get.

The best part of the movie is that there are no songs. Phew! What a relief!! All in all the movie is a class apart though its roots can be traced to Die Hard 4. I rate the movie with three stars as this is a very good one timer. But do watch the movie, its worth it.

Cheee!!! Chicken??

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:19:00 +0000

Does your salivary glands flood themselves to glory when you see a country chicken flies away in a confused state, much to evocate the way bikers grace the Indian roads?

If you do get crazy over fried legs of a chicken or roasted pair of wings think again, eating chicken or for that matter any form of non-vegetarian food would help you add to the global carbon foot print.

According to this article 18% of world's total carbon emissions are due to meat production. Every stage of meat production, ranging from clearing forest for farms to burining fossil fuel for farm vehicles to animal wastes contribute to this 18%.

So friends, next time you lay your greedy hand on a plate of yummy chicken biryani, think again.

We live a boring life!

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 07:51:00 +0000

I generally refrain from reading others' stuff, mainly because my mind is volatile and my ideas are more or less in a liquid form, so anything I read which relates to my ideas would act as a container and, whoa!, I will almost touch the ass of plagiarist in me, so I refrain from reading others' stuff and if I do and get inspired, I take the utmost care not to sound like Pritam or Anu Malik (wink! You know what I mean, I do not know the chinese lyrics of the song oh jaane jaa :D). Though this does not happen always, it does happen.

However, I have recently contemplated to read some of these stars' blogs and I did read them. AB's, AK's etc. The first thing I have noticed, and did so with envy, is that these blogs have thousands of comments, though most of them are "Hello AK uncle, I am 12 year old" types, the comments are there. And that made me envious.

A regular visitor to my blog, if he/she still survived by a stroke of luck, would be quick to grasp that comments on my blogs are as rare as a student who doesn't copy, or you might even want to say as rare as a girl in a Mechanical Engineering class or even as rare as good looking female in my project. What so ever, I made best efforts to market my blog as much as possible with all those funky gadgets on your right. I also wonder what would have happened if I were to be modest. Damn it, this IT industry did teach me something, show casing, eh!

Coming back to those celebrity's blogs, I wonder what AK thinks when he sees those comments, the "Hello AK uncle, I am 12 year old" types; he might just bring TZP kid in and asks him "should I reply him saying that I am AK uncle and I cannot quite disclose my age?" Or he might just blink and smile benevolently and muse over why a 12 year old kid started thinking about his own age so early and eventually imagines a bored house wife making the best use of her broadband connection, after all she cannot keep watching ~~porn~~ youtube.

What is more important is that the content of the blogs, these are completely e-journals of what these stars do day to day and what they think about what they do and in the attempt to do so they try to sound modest about (quite obvious, they cannot say "I am great and hence the great fan following") their stardom.

For a moment I thought and pondered upon a few 'what if's
like:
1) What if I also write about what I do every day. (a few of my body parts started disowning me immediately and considered parasiting upon my lesser mortal roomies).
2) What if my PM reads my blog on what I do? (my ID immediately called its insurance agent)
3) Worst of all, what if my client reads my blog on what I do everyday?? (I could almost imagine a few CEOs approaching Vito Corleone to save their businesses :D).

The gist of the article is that, we live a boring life. And I am sure talking about the fights we have to get the access to the Bathroom in the morning or the way we run to the bus stop JIT or for that matter the snoring patterns of our room mates would only make the blog as boring as our life is and I am sure if I were to talk about what my projects are or how I got moved by a certain incident no one cares a hoot. Of course, it is a different thing that you will be very famous if it is a video on you cozying yourself with your girl.

If you are still wondering why I wrote this or searching for something funny in this, I guess your search should end here and I suggest you laugh out loudly for me/with me/at me and wait till I pull out something better.

Gyan...

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:37:00 +0000

Try and try till you suck...

New iPhone launched.

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:14:00 +0000

All the speculations on the price of the much adored iPhone in India ended when it was finally declared that the coveted gizmo will cost you just 31K for an 8 GB version and its bigger brother which has bigger stomach capacity would cost you just 5k more. It will be a great pleasure to use this phone which comes at the price of dirt especially with Vodafone, which has an exceptionally great network. I did call their call center to convey the same, but there seems to be some problem as I have been failing to get connected for last three days, I have literally mugged by heart their promotional messages in Marathi while I waited for a call center executive to attend the call.

Meanwhile, rumours about the iPhone's next version coming up have swarmed the net. The next version is claimed to have the capability to increase the average intelligence for any one who uses it. It has a host of other customized features which include features like helping you look more attractive to the opposite sex, increasing your chances to get selected for a reality show if you send the SMS from your phone, and an all new lie detector to know whether your girl friend is cheating or not. You can also buy and download third party software, installing which will help you know whether or not a new release will be a hit by just typing its name.

Our sources had an opportunity to discuss about a very secret project for Apple inc., known as ePhone. An over excited Apple employee spilled the beans about this Z+ generation phone. The e-phone is claimed to be boon to all the corporate employees in the world, it is expected to bring reprieve from the bosses. "We are researching on the boss detector feature, with this feature the phone will be able to detect the boss within range of 5 meters and gives him a small but an uncomfortable shock." says the unnamed Apple employee."Bosses then associate the pain with approaching the employee and over a period of time will avoid the employee". he said with beaming eyes. "The other options are...." are the only final words we could manage from the employee as another employee pulled him in catching his collar. We are assuming the second employee is his boss.

Mean while, there are speculations that e-Phone will be launched in India first with the collaboration of Reliance. The price is expected to 200Rs per piece. That is the only way to show the world that we are as good as US said a beaming RelComm employee who refused to name himself.

A qucik rant.

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 08:23:00 +0000

Please note that this is a completely personal rant and the reader is risking his time by contemplating to read through. Any such attempts are assumed to have agreed to my terms and conditions of not cursing me after reading through.

I am not finding time to write, I know I have complained about this earlier, but I guess it is a cycle. But, I do not want this blog to be inactive for too long, lest I will have to budge into the requests asking me to sell my blog for $2.

So, just a few updates from my side.

Apart from the boring routine of brushing the same old teeth and bathing the same old body I have tried to see a few movies, apart from getting poorer by a few hundred bucks nothing substantial happened as the movies were far more routine than the above mentioned activities.

Yours truly have failed again, though not miserably, in his recent attempt to cover up for his ever falling hair which is affecting his otherwise charming personality. The finer details like what that attempt was and how miserably he failed are kept as a secret fearing the loss of market segment to his arch rivals.

Well, if you are to know me better, you will safely assume that failures hardly bother me. I guess that is the main reason I fail, there is no fear of failure for me.

I just wanted to quote a few lines from the Godfather here.

"in this world there comes a time when the most humble of men, if he keeps his
eyes open, can take his revenge on the most powerful."

That should end this post. I know this is too abrupt, but I seriously do not know how to end things, which is why I am still writing.

Lifts, Courtesy etc.

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 09:36:00 +0000

I do not use steps, keeping aside the health benefits of climbing up and down those plethora of steps, these benefits are as applicable to me as morals would be to most politicians, I prefer those little glass and metal enclosures which move up and down at a call of a button, we call them lifts, no?

Observing people in lifts is a great stress buster; it takes you into newer worlds with a greater insight into psychology, if it ever existed.

Yours truly considers himself to be pretty good at observation and has come up with a good classification of the lift users under which the above mentioned could be easily elaborated upon.

· The callers, classification on how people call the lifts.
· The people who board, classification on how people board the lift
· The people who alight,

The callers:

Among other boring types, the most interesting fall into two categories:

The go getters: These people are those who are not too comfortable with the idea of things not in their control. Let’s see the following conversation near a lift:

She: blah blah blah blah (continuously pressing the lift button).
He: (after a long hiatus) darling! Why are we pressing the call button so many times? my PM told me its enough if we press the button twice or thrice.
She: Oh! You dumbo! (Speaking as she presses the button continuously) you don’t know? The more the number of times you press the button the faster the lift comes down.
He: Ooooh! I never knew this.

She has got her ex-boyfriends in the lifts logic design team of OTIS, Mitsubishi and the likes and they apparently discuss, in their annual meeting they have with her, how they are thriving to increase the acceleration of the lifts with each increment in the call count.

The just do it types: These types believe that whatever they do is right.

She: blah blah blah (as she presses both up and down call button for the lift)
He: Hey! Why did you press both the buttons? Isn’t it enough to press just the down arrow button, as we are going down?
She: Are you nuts? The second button is given as back up, if the lift doesn’t come for the first button, then we have to press the second button; up and down my foot, huh!

That’s it; another name has been added to the world’s most enlightened souls’ list. This guy is lucky, isn’t he?

In the meanwhile they board the lift that is going in the opposite direction; her logic was simple- everything that goes has to come back.

The people who board:
The Hollywood type: This type is mostly inspired by Neo, the matrix man (Keanu Reaves) and believes that lifts are just another element of nature that would act according to their whimsy. When this type sees the lift at a considerable distance and when they decide to board it, all they do is just march towards the lift sternly and mechanically with a defiant palm lifted into the air.

This type would succeed unless there is a similar kind already in the lift, who on seeing the first person would press the “door close” button and smiling at the thought of the person crashing at the lift door.

The Indian fast bowler type: This type starts running towards the lift as and when they see it open, the distance just doesn’t matter, they just run with all the conviction of a determined soul, as the people waiting in the lift speculate about their chances of making it, they either run out of their steam and settle in the nearest sofa or change their mind and go towards the staircase.

The people who alight:
Before talking about this type, now that you have reached this far, I presume that you are either not too interested in life or you are too interested in what I write, in either way, I presume that you would not go away to read other intelligent posts on the forum as I quote Aristotle from his work on political philosophy

“If there be some one person whose virtue is so pre-eminent that the virtues of all the rest admit of no comparison with his, he or they can be no longer regarded as part of a state; for justice will not be done to the superior. Such a one may truly be deemed a God among men; and for men of pre-eminent virtue there is no law—they are themselves a law. Any (person) would be ridiculous who attempted to make laws for them.”

Aristotle in the above message is referring to super heroes, the icons who are above all the law and are considered demigods, a good examples for this is our security, there are at least a dozen such super heroes in our security, these do-gooders, with all due respect for keeping us in safe hands, just need a small reason to scowl at, you forget you tie, they scowl, you try to use the umbrella till the bus, they scowl after all they are super heroes and their managers have told them that smiling is a crime and courtesy is a sin.

I have met one such super hero in the last seat of the bus yesterday(this time it’s an employee); the super hero was engrossed in the music his i-pod is beaming out, with his unbuttoned shirt showing his jewelry and a few things that are beyond description for this point, he just couldn’t wait till his chance to alight the bus, he has a word for his rescue “excuse me” which he used with generosity as he made his way through the people whom he think are going to XYZ phase 3

I have later realized that this guy is the Dark-Knight of [please insert your company name here], who is in a hurry to encounter Joker who was troubling [your company's employees], asking them why they were serious.

“Excuse me” gentleman, are you reading this?

Back to the topic, it is interesting to observe the super hero category in the lifts, especially when the lift is packed, they do not have enough time to wait for their chance, their aim is simple, be the first one get out of the lift as the others are waiting to go into underground using lift.

Pappu CAN dance.........

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:06:00 +0000

This is your's truly, quintessential at parties. No I am not always inclined at 90 degrees backwards on the dance floor, but yes contradictory to the popular song which shouts out that Pappu cannot dance, yours truly is an ardent dancer and scares the hell out of any one within the radius of his hands.
I will have to write a bigger write up on this. Let me find some time :)

Birthday.....

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:50:00 +0000

As a child, I was always amused by anniversaries. It used to excite me to see the passion with which people celebrate anniversaries, but for some strange reason my inclination for these celebrations turned volatile and almost evaporated, but like everything in nature even this had a cycle, I donno if I have turned childish or its just that I have understood the passion behind these anniversaries, but I am really glad, yes I mean really, to share with you all that *irrationally rational* is a one year old today.

I wish I mature myself as a good writer and hone my skills and this blog reaches the place which I think it should, wish my blog a very happy birthday!!

News Digest.....

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:07:00 +0000

Disclaimer: All the news in the following post is fake and is taken directly from kaltak. Anyone feeling that the news is alluding at him/her is free to introspect, the author however, is not responsible for any cerebral breakdown resulting from the futile attempts.

HR executive resigns:

In a bizarre and first of its kind incident, a HR executive of a software company has resigned on moral grounds. On 22nd of July 2008, Manavi Mahopadhyay, a senior HR executive has submitted her resignation to her boss, the reasons she cited was the unruly behaviour of the freshers she has recruited so far.

"It is so disheartening to see hundreds of mails complaining against these youngsters breaking the queues, hedging the spoons, romancing in the last seat of the bus, I just can't imagine,that these are the same kids on whom we spent lakhs and lakhs of rupees for training on inter-personal effectiveness" said a sobbing Manavi who later completely broke down.

Our sources, who refused to be named, said that the final nail in the coffin was hit when a senior employee, who was already frustrated for a lot of other things (which includes insufficient leg space in the school bus in which he commutes to office daily) was given a cold look by a guy for sitting beside his girlfriend, unfortunately that was the only available seat. The couple later proceeded to switch on to their basic instincts and romanced the rest of their journey to glory. The senior employee then wrote a lengthy mail to his HR with choicest of words, Manavi who is sensitive and sincere at work, chose to take the blame and resigned citing moral grounds. The senior employee refused to comment.

We have strong proof that the couple was given a pink slip, but were immediately selected by MTV for their upcoming reality show on dating.

India hot destination for Russian defence scientists:

Look out when you cross the roads in India next time, if you are lucky enough you might as well be asked to sign a contract for participating in Russian Defence Research. Russian Defence Research Organization has signed a pact with Indian government allowing them to study the brain patterns of Indian pedestrians and motorbike riders and to map the same in the anti missile technology in their latest combat jets and submarines.

"I have come to India last year on a holiday and was amazed to see the impeccable accuracy with which the Indian pedestrian cross the road without the help of a zebra crossing and I do not have the words to describe the Indian mo bike riders, they are too good for words" said Mr. Purikoshov Bhajishova. He also said that there is a high scope for break through in the said anti missile technology if we can carefully study and understand the brain patterns.

Management graduate proposes a new theory

Sharad Dikhaoo a management freak from a high profile college has proposed a new theory, he named it De-show casing theory.
"I used to find it very difficult to show case, essentially because there is nothing to show case in me, but I cannot sit quiet you know? This is a very competitive world and you need to be on your toes for you to survive and hence I came out with De-show casing theory, its simple, the statement is- if you cannot show case yourself, de-show case others, its nothing new, I am inspired from the childhood riddle of making a line shorter without erasing it- by drawing a line longer than that. I just used the converse and it worked" said a beaming Sharad who recently tested the theory on a *low life* and was able to successfully syphon off the *low life's* prospective girl friend by using the theory.

The HRD ministry who was pretty impressed with Sharad's work has promised to nominate his name for igNoble prize under show casing category, however under the caveat that the Prize committee agrees that de-showcasing can be considered as one form of show casing.

On the other hand, the low life on whom the theory was tested was so depressed for being deprived of a girl friend (his 109th attempt) that he complained to Ganeka Mandhi against the theory. Ganeka is currently agitating in front of the HRD's office for justice. Our sources said that the *low life* was present at the agitation and using all his charms to flirt with Ganeka and impress her. Our blog wishes him all the best.

News Digest.....

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:28:00 +0000

No more tail Lamps...

The confederation of automobile manufacturers (CAM) yesterday in Delhi disclosed that they are not going to use tail lamps and indicators any more for automobiles in India. CAM spokes person speaking exclusively to this blog, told that this idea of removing the tail lamps for the automobiles is around for a while, "Indians are smart, they get to know when the vehicle ahead of them stops and change their driving path accordingly, they hardly require the tail lamps and indicators." Saying that the cost benefit will be passed on to the customers, he said that the new range of vehicles without the tail lamps and indicators will be available from this December.

In totally unrelated news, Indian central government has asked all its state governments to remove all the signal posts in all the road junctions in India. The iron collected from all the posts will be used to build hospitals. There will be no more paint wasted on zebra crossings and road divider markers, they said that the amount saved will be used to compensate the fiscal deficit.

Our sources say that this was expected in these tough days of economic turmoil where we cannot waste money on things that are not put to use, there was an extensive cost benefit analyses carried out by PWC and cost benefit was found to be humongous.

A new reality show:
In this age where every day a new reality show comes out, a recent survey conducted showed that though reality shows excite people, their monotonous nature is boring people to death. So there is a need for a new reality show with fresh look and hence "Kaun banega reality show ki baap" was launched. "We saw a need to have a reality show on reality show, and we stepped in to fill the void" said CEO Mr. Chato.

The program features excerpts from various reality shows and judges will be calling cliched names for the show that is featured, apart from looking at each other and nodding occasionally at each snippet. There will also be opinions from audience on the shows and on the opinion of the judges as well, all the audience watching the show will be given eggs and tomatoes (subject to costs and availability).

"This is so exciting, throwing eggs at someone who shouted at my favorite performer in my favorite singing show is just awesome, I am loving it!" says an excited Pakao Sharma, nibbling at her burger and watching the all new reality show.

MNS strikes again:
The MNS activists yesterday did a lightning attack on PMC. They claim that Kothrud (which in Telugu means new road) may mislead many people to think that there are roads in Kothrud and also it is against the culture to have a name that sounds non-regional.

"Its good to see MNS so concerned about people's troubles, this will definitely help curbing the rising global crude prices and soaring inflation", beamed a Puneite who requested anonymity.

Gyan.....

noreply@blogger.com (unicorn) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:18:00 +0000

Its not the words, but their interpretation that matters.....

Oh fuck!