The Irreverently Pious

How Catholic are you?

2014-08-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

Our kids are purely and entirely unabashedly Catholic.

When my Monkeyboy woke up at 7 am on Sunday and asked if we could go to a later mass than the 8:30am mass, I realized he was Catholic.
During the week my monkeyboy struggles to get out of bed before 8 am but on Sunday he wakes up at 5 am so he can lounge before 8:30am mass (that he insists on attending - truth be told, he'd rather go to an earlier mass but the parental types refuse to wake up that early on Sunday).

Does your child ask for communion wafers for snacks?
We visited a Catholic book store and when Peach saw the altar bread, she asked for a few bags of bread for snack time. Seriously! She wanted me to pack communion wafers with her summer camp gear.

What is the first thing my kids say when they hear foul language?
Guilty, guilty, guilty. I have a potty mouth but Suits, one of my favorite shows, is known for taking God's name and damning everything in sight with it. So my kids have gotten into the habit of saying "Scourgify!" It's from Harry Potter and the reference is meant to cleanse.

Whose your favorite singer?
Well, I wouldn't go to great lengths to say Christian artists top the household favorites. In fact my son calls Crap Maher, sorry Matt Maher... Honestly, Maher one of my favorite artists and the Monkeyboy just knows that misusing his name annoys and irritates me. Peachy however said just the other day "I've been craving some Matt Maher tunes."

If babies could talk

2014-08-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Oh, the stories they'd tell!

Yep, they wake us at all hours of the night, they need to be cared for and reassured but on the other hand when you take a certain perspective, you understand very quickly that they'd be saying' "What the heck!"

- Meal-time: "Oh, great. I get to eat something that looks like it's been squished under your shoe"
- Temperature taking: "You're stickin' that where? To get what?"
- swimming: "When I wet my pants you get cranky. I get nice new dry pants and you immediately get me soggy! What the heck! What was wrong with dry? FYI - it's friggin' cold!"
- diaper changes: "Really? I'm not a cake. Quit frosting my butt like a cake."
- Speaking of cake: "Useless humans. You've already smashed up the crayons and spread them like everywhere"

Parenting

2013-10-22T18:38:00.000-07:00

You might have noticed in my post from yesterday that I mentioned something about the Peach pit raising me. She mentioned to me the other day, it might have been after I had to do push ups, it might have been after she told me I couldn't have candy before my meal, it might have been after she told me I needed to dress different for mass, who knows but she said, "If I knew it was going to be this hard to raise a parent, I would have never done it."

Amen, little house elf.

Are you ready for some football???

2013-10-21T18:33:00.002-07:00

I love football. Football is my life. You play football wif a football on a football field. Check out the skit!

The only problem I have is that I watch football on tv with my spawn around. My choice of language during said football games is a tad colorful. So much so that the Peach pit, well she has a way of raising me that she punishes my foul mouth with push ups, sit ups and burpies. Oh, I hate burpies! It's not uncommon for someone to walk into the house and find me doing push ups because of something I said.

One morning monkeyboy walks out of his room in the morning and finds me doing v-ups with an exercise ball. You with me? If not check out the short video of what v-ups with an exercise ball looks like.

He takes one look at me, in his drowsy morning saunter into the living room and says....
"What did you say that you had to do THAT?"

Honeymoon Tough Love and Walter

2013-10-07T14:59:00.002-07:00

At the end of mass, the priest called forth all those celebrating weddings this month for a blessing. It's a monthly event. Well this month as he made his way through the couples, 51 years, 12 years, 37 years, 28 years, 11 years, and then the poor guy looked so perplexed as he approached the last couple, still grinning and holding hands...1 year. They had to repeat it for him because he was so surprised. Pleased but nonetheless surprised.
On the way home as we chatted about it, husband thought the couple had been married for at least 5 years and I said, "no, they were running down to the altar, still holding hands and grinning". The Peach pit chimed in "They are still in the newlewed phase." to which he responded "We still hold hands"
Peachy informed him in no uncertain terms, "Yeah dad, you're not in the newlewed phase. Your in the tough love stage."

We both laughed.

Then he asked, "Well what's after the Tough love stage of Marriage". Both the peach pit and the monkeyboy unisoned, "The Walter stage".

My Birthday Octave

2013-09-27T04:42:00.002-07:00

WOOHOO! I am celebrating my birthday octave! What is a birthday octave? Inquiring minds want to know!

Last night I got a text from one of my good friends wishing me a happy birthday but she wasn't sure if my birthday started yesterday or today. Turns out she was right on time for the vigil of my birthday octave.
You know what a vigil is- It's celebrating the eve of a festival or holy day. Well, what is an octave? I'll let the monkeyboy tell you.
I awoke this morning to hugs,presents from the family and a mass offered for me from one of my best friends, which has to be the best birthday present ever btw! Then I announced to the family how happy I was that my birthday octave celebration has started. Monkeyboy pipes up and tells Papa, "Papa, we need to go buy 7 more presents!"
Papa's response was, "Well, at least you know what an octave means." Only in a Catholic household would a conversation like this takes place. Only in a Catholic household would the kids in the family even understand what is meant by an octave. I love it!

An octave is an 8 day celebration or observance of a festival or holy day. Some days are SO holy that we as Catholics celebrate them for 8 days but these 8 days are treated as a single day. Such days are the Easter Octave, Christmas Octave, and of course my birthday Octave. I suppose the entire Catholic church community doesn't celebrate my birthday octave, their loss really but you are welcome to join in celebrating my birthday octave with us! All are welcome!

The pope is a liberal?

2013-08-07T07:16:00.001-07:00

I loved the article by Pat Archbold and I have to admit I was a little proud of myself that I figured it out by the third quote.

Cardinal Dolan on Pope's gay remark

2013-07-31T05:29:00.002-07:00

Oh what a beautiful thing to wake up to this statement by Timothy Cardinal Dolan reaffirming what the Pope said about the church's teaching on sexual love:

“The church’s teaching, which is based on the Bible and God’s revelation, is that sexual love is reserved only between a man and woman in the life-long, life-giving relationship of marriage and any relations outside of that, hetero or homo, would be less than God’s intention," he said. "That hasn’t changed."

The full story is here but if you want more on the church's teaching and something that will really make you blush pick up "Theology of the Body".

Our Lady of Mount Carmel

2013-07-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

I was pondering intimacy and how one acquires intimacy in prayer. How do I go from the intimate union of Jesus in the Eucharist to deeply living out an intimate relationship?
Put another way, how do we Catholics go from our rote prayers for example to intimacy, to a passionate love of God?

It seems to me there is a difference between Catholics who show up for mass and Catholics who live their faith. I'm not talking about evangelical Catholics, Charismatic Catholics or those who are more Catholic than the pope but the ones who accept others for who they are (sin and all - mind you that accepting someone for being a child of God deserving of love is completely different than approving of someone's sin. We can accept the person but disapprove of the sin.), who live a life imbued with joy, peace and tranquility. It seems to me these people have a strong interior life. This interior life flows into their very being and the fruit of this interior life is seen in the fruits of grace: joy, peace, tranquility, love. Some of these Catholics might very well be charismatic, evangelical or whatever label you want to give them but the hallmark of a strong interior life will be manifest in the fruits of grace.

So I don't have to beat someone over the head with my rosary beads. My devotion to the rosary is meant to foster a deeper union to Christ through she who held God inside her very self, who nurtured him, who taught him and who waits upon us to draw nearer to her so she can bring us closer to Him. Mary's greatest desire is that we enter fully into the mystery of God. So perhaps on this feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, you too might consider renewing your commitment to a deeper devotion to the Blessed Mother.

Things you'll never or should never hear at mass

2013-07-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

"Lettuce. Pray!"
"Give us this day our daily spread and lead us not into temptation. Amen"

I heard this one at mass and it makes me want to puke.

"Sweetheart, The body of Christ"

Come on guys. It's straightforward and simple don't add on "Honeybun", "Sweet stuff", "Hot Lips" or anything else. It's just "The body of Christ" or "The blood of Christ". Simple.

Instead of getting an Amen from Husband during mass you hear

"ZZZZZZ!"

"For our good and the good of all Her holy church"

Oh, you looney nuns on a bus. Yes God is beyond gender but we are limited. The church has prescribed the response to be "for the good of all His holy church" so just lump it. Be obedient and pray it so we can pray in unison and in community. Good grief! If everyone interjected their own philosophy on the mass it would be pandemonium. For the good of all things holy let's just please pray in communion.

For those times when mass runs especially late because not only did the homilist preach on today's scripture but also on a few others. Here is something you'll never hear at the end of mass:

"We especially want to thank 'insert visiting priest's name here' for visiting and for those 3 homiles today.

I like traffic lights

2013-06-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

I like traffic lights

but only when they're green"

Today's meditation, yes today's meditation comes by way of Monty Python. How's that for a meditation?

I love my family. I love my in-laws. I love the state of Texas. I love my job. I love my monkeyboy.

And yet, working in the same space my family lives, from my in-laws home, living in weather 2 degrees cooler than the surface of the sun, not having an actual office from which to conduct business and living with hormonal tweeners brings anxiety levels all of it's own.

How do I deal with it and where is Jesus in all this mess? Oh, most definitely its a mess. It's unsettling and it's raw and rough. I most definitely don't like it. It doesn't feel right. It feels like wearing underwear two sizes too small. You know it's there and it's pinching and chaffing sensitive areas making it tough to breathe.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me - Psalm 22:1

and yet, in the midst of this I can still take solace in the same psalm that says in a few verses later

For he has not spurned or disdained the misery of this poor wretch, did not turn away from me, but heard me when I cried out - Psalm 22:25

Monty Python and Psalm 22, who else is going to give you a meditation like that???

Love this!

2013-05-15T13:49:00.002-07:00

Dignity Health

Mountain Pose

2013-04-27T07:33:00.002-07:00

Driving through Salt Lake City, I was stunned, nay amazed at the monstrous snow capped mountians. Perhaps people living in the are get accustomed to the sights but what a beautiful sight it was.
Artists, writers and all the rest of us unskilled people, when we make something we put something of ourselves in the mix. The creation reflects essentially who we are. It can be on canvas, in metal through words but these intimately convey who we are. The creations never do the person justice because as captivating as Rembrant's paintings are to admire, they demonstrate but fail to fully capture the man himself.

As I stared into the massively beautiful snow capped wonders with contrasting blue sky above and green fields below, I just thought to myself that whoever made these must be just that more awesome then what he created.

Ship my pants!

2013-04-14T04:08:00.004-07:00

What a clever ad!

A bit juvenile but clever. Clever isn't something you typically see in ads or movies anymore. Much like the Snickers commercial when the grounds keeper was chalking the KC Chief's endzone with "Chefs" instead of Chiefs, exclaiming "Great googly moogly" at his blunder, these acts of cleverness tend to stay with us. Enjoy!

Footprints

2013-04-10T03:25:00.001-07:00

The interminable call to Holiness

2013-02-25T05:57:00.001-08:00

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep"

Robert Frost

Husband reminded me this morning of the virtue of perseverance. Yes, in this second week of Lent I'm ready to call it quits. I am such an Easter person.
Once you've made a commitment in the fullness of free will and with a well formed conscience, you stick to it. Yes, enticements will come along, like the woods of our poem but those don't matter.

Remaining true to the commitments I made also means I will have "miles to go before I sleep".

I had a discussion this morning about marriage and vocations. Regardless what your vocation is, you will always be tested. There will come a time when it's not so fun anymore, when it's a chore, when you don't want to fulfill some of the vows you made. Keep your word, come what may. Persevere my brothers and sisters.

Pope resigns? OMGag

2013-02-11T11:39:00.000-08:00

OMGag - Oh, my get a grip! The idiots over at NY times, oh I'm sorry that's an insult to idiots everywhere, had an uh what do you call it but an scathingly opinionated piece of tripe masquerading as a news item on the resignation of the Pope. Am I surprised? No, not really.

Get a grip guys! Seriously. Get a grip.

It takes an extraordinary amount of humility to step aside from well, anything. The pope has demonstrated that humility yet again to do what is best for the Church. He is once again showing his gift as a shepherd. Sometimes I don't know what planet The Times are on because I suspect it's not earth. The grass is not green in their world or maybe they smoke too much of it. I don't know. I suspect they haven't exercised any form of religious devotion because if they had, they'd recognize a shepherd. A shepherd doesn't do what he wants or what the sheep wants (approving homosexual unions, abortions, etc). He does the job entrusted to him as is necessary. Our pontiff has reached out in ecumenical zeal to find what unites us from Jewish, Atheists (yes atheists), Episcopalians, Anglicans and on and on... Honestly, what solar system are yous guys in?

You know it took family taking away keys, an accident, family strife, and a court order to get my 80+ year old father in law to stop driving. Honestly it was impossible. His whole life he was an arrogant man. I love him anyway. It was extraordinarily difficult to get him to stop driving. My own father, 83, still refuses to slow down and puts his life in jeopardy as a result and worries my family and my mother. He refuses to listen to his body or anyone for that matter.

The pope has painstakingly prayed over this and in a quite detached manner removed himself from ministry as he is no longer fit to carry out the duties of the office. Have you read Jesus of Nazareth? Wow, this man's intellectual capacity to ponder and pray over things is amazing. I learn about his spirituality from reading his works and it's astounding. If you want to understand him and his spirituality, read his works. He is bathed in Scripture.

The Pope has announced he's handing the keys back to the guardian of the keys and soon the Holy Spirit through the college of Cardinals will select a new Pontiff. And you know what? We Catholics will celebrate him with the same passion and joy with which we welcomed Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger as The Holy Father back in 2005.

911, What's your Emergency?

2013-02-08T16:58:00.000-08:00

When traveling I like to rent cars with XM Radio so that I can tune into ESPN radio and I also enjoy the Catholic Channel. This morning the Catholic Channel had their "Let's hope they're not Catholic" segment on today. As a whole Catholics aren't immune to doing stupid things as some of our bishops, priests and let's not forget the dumb anctics of the "Nuns on the bus". In fact just because we're Catholic doesn't mean we're holier, funnier or smarter than anyone else. It does mean we are a joyful people. Authentic Catholics aren't sullen. We are joyful. We endure pain and suffering like everyone else but we don't suffer alone and therein lies the joy.
This joyful morning they played some 911 calls and I nearly doubled over laughing while driving the boroughs of Chicago.

911 operator: "What's your emergency?"

caller: "Um, my wife got attacked by a warthog and we need help. She needs a doctor."
(I want to know, how does one get attacked by a warthog?)
911 operator: "What's your location?"

caller: "18 Eucalyptus"

911 operator: "Can you spell that?"

caller:" (silent pause) Um, I'll drag her over to Oak Street and you can pick her up there"

Oh dear. Really? Let's drag her over to a street you can spell.

Whispered along the Sleeperbowl sidelines

2013-02-04T13:10:00.003-08:00

Monkeyboy irritated me yesterday, again. He's a fan of the Crows (Ravens). I hate the stupid crows. I'm not a fan of Ray Lewis or that whole Atlanta incident. According to ESPN, the poor guy has had to endure talk of that incident all this week. Poor guy. Awww. Somehow it changed his whole life. This from the geniuses at ESPN. Idiots. The victims, well it might have impacted their life as well. But poor Ray Lewis. Nevertheless, I can't stand the stupid Crows.
Monkeyboy decided to rub it in that the Crows were winning yesterday in the 45 seconds of the game we watched . I just couldn't bring myself to give any of my time to that garbage - and I LOVE football. So I made him drop down and give me 20 push ups. Yep. I'm Mama. Don't taunt me in football, buddy!

We instead watched Big Bang and the Puppy Bowl - too cute btw. I loved the intentional growling penalty. It was fabulous! So last night after the stupid crows won - yes I had to watch the stupid game because I wanted to make sure Elementary was going to record - Stupid Crows, I went into Monkeyboy's room. He was FAST asleep. I mean he was out! As evidence of my Mommy Dearest streak and unlike Ray Lewis, here's my blatantly honest revelation: I woke him up and told him that his stupid Crows won and that he needed to give me 10 push ups.

Monkeyboy rubbed his eyes and said, "Ok". He starts climbing out of bed. I ask of course, "What are you doing?"
In a croaky sleep deprived voice he utters, "I'm getting out of bed to give you 10 push ups."

He is such a good boy, and I am so not worthy to be his mother. I made him get back in bed.

Animal prayers

2013-01-26T05:08:00.000-08:00

What does Michelle Obama have in common with Star Trek?

2013-01-25T05:06:00.000-08:00

A Romulan wardrobe worthy of presidential attire. Lovely.

The invisible statistic

2013-01-24T05:04:00.001-08:00

It's amazing to me that more humans have been lost to abortion than people lost to the Holocaust, 9/11, Hiroshima, Chernobyl... combined.

Life. It's precious.

Quote of the day

2013-01-23T05:58:00.002-08:00

"The joy which comes from living in gratitude for the gift of life -- and treating all life as gift -- effects change. When Christians begin to live with real regard for human dignity, our nation will awaken to the tragedy of abortion, and she will begin to change."
- Archbishop Aquila

Archbishop's chilling recollection of his personal interaction with abortion

Overheard at mass yesterday

2013-01-21T11:02:00.002-08:00

We had a wedding during Sunday's mass. The toddler at one point said to her parents:
"When they gonna kiss?"
"When they gonna kiss?"

At the end of mass after the kiss, the toddler says:
"When's the baby coming?"

Notre Dame loses to Bama a

2013-01-08T05:04:00.000-08:00

I can't stand Notre Dame. That being said, I was hoping they'd do better than they did last night against Bama. To say the game was dominated by Bama also discounts the mistakes and missteps by ND, Fourth and 5 so they try to go Fourth and fifty.

My absolute favorite thing though is the following standings:

Hee, hee, hee. Ohio State couldn't play in a bowl game but they still beat out ND.