Is It Beer Time Yet?

Traveling Salesman

There was a traveling salesman whose car became hopelessly stuck in a snow bank during a recent blizzard in North Dakota. It took him several hours to make it to the nearest farm house, but frozen half to death, he finally reached the front door and knocked on it. A grizzled old farmer answered [...]

Truck Driver

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man’s [...]

Action Forty Years Later

A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, “Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.” The guy stopped the car. [...]

Fairy Tales

The little girl had just listened to her mother’s reading one of her favorite fairy tales. “Mommy,” asked the child, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once Upon a time’…?” “No, dearest,” replied the mother, “sometimes they start with ‘Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight’.”

Genie Wishes

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says, “Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes.” The man says “Great! I always dreamed of this [...]

Cow Tying

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?” Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain. Man: So what happened that’s so horrible? Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. [...]

Drinking Beer

An American, a Canadian and an Australian were having a beer one Sunny afternoon. The American grabbed his beer, knocked it back in one gulp, then he threw the glass into the air and shot it with his handgun. As he set the handgun on the bar, he told the Canadian and the Australian [...]

Last Request

Father O’Grady was saying his good-byes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always did when Mary Clancy came up to him in tears. “What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Father O’Grady. “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news,” replied Mary. “Well, what is it, Mary?” “My husband passed away last night, [...]

Letters

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads: “Dear Wife: I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18-year-old secretary.” When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that [...]

May I go to the toilet?

Teacher is in the middle of a lesson and a little girl sticks her hand up. “Please miss, may I go to the toilet?” Teacher says just wait until this lesson is finished. Half an hour later, the same little girl sticks her hand up. “Please miss, may I go to the toilet?” Oh, [...]