Is That Baby Puke on Your Shirt?

A Year Later...

2011-09-23T13:08:00.001-06:00

This week marked the one year anniversary of me ending maternity leave and being back at work. I have been working for as long as I was at home….working with a baby.

I am often asked if I like working, and I don’t lie: I do like it. I feel like being at work is time I can focus on my work without little hands grabbing at my pants saying “up”, or “mama! Toons!” (cartoons). I have made quite a lot of progress in the past year at my job, including an opportunity to go back to school part time to pursue an education in marketing. I may be crazy for taking this on. It will definitely be a challenge, but I think I’m up for it.

Every day, especially mornings and evenings are hectic; even more so in the summer time when my husband, who is a golf professional, is required to work long hours and we can go an entire week without having him at the dinner table. Some days I find myself thinking that I've mastered this whole working mom thing and then there are other days when I know that I’ll have to do the whole mundane routine over again tomorrow, and it has brought me to tears.

I’ve made a huge effort to get back to working out and eating ‘clean’, and have actually gotten myself down to my wedding weight. I have 2 windows of opportunity to exercise each work day; either at 5 am at home, or during my lunch hour at the gym. I have learned some great lessons in organization and preparedness as well as making my workouts as efficient as possible. I have two great resources to thank for this: the Nike Training Club app on my iPhone, and the girls of Tone It Up who offer nutritional advice and workouts.

Working out and being healthy benefits me and my family in so many ways. I find I have so much more engergy to get through the day. Mostly, it helps with my depression. If I go a few days where I’m eating like crap and not exercising, I really feel a difference in my attitude and outlook, and in the way I treat people, especially my family. I can have an explosive temper, and there have been a few times where I have regretted lashing out at, or in front of, Nikolas. I don’t want him to ever be scared of mommy getting mad. I have come a long way in controlling my temper, but still have to work on it. Working out definitely helps me have a positive state of mind and I’m better able to control my reaction to stressful situations.

I often wish I had more time to write, because I really love looking back at my stories and seeing how far I’ve come. One of the things that bother me is the name of my blog. “Is That Baby Puke On Your Shirt” isn’t really applicable to my life anymore, so I’ve been brainstorming some new names that would be a better fit to my crazy life. Anyway, I hope to increase the amount I write, and if you have any suggestions for names, pass them along!

Who Cut the Cheese?

2011-05-25T22:16:00.000-06:00

I am about to go there. I am going to tell a fart story. This is your warning.

It’s inevitable. Fart jokes become the norm in a person’s household. Especially when there are boys involved. Well, now Nikolas is in on the joke.

Of course, since he was a little baby, we’d always stick out our tongue and make raspberry noises at him. It caught on quickly, and has become one of his favourites. In fact, it’s often how I’m greeted in the morning.

Me: “Good morning sweetie! Time to rise and shine!”

Nikolas: “BBBllllttthhhhhhh”

Or even more recently, on a 3 hour road trip to a family event, I was desperate to entertain the little guy. So what did I pull out? That’s right...I pulled out the “pull my finger” joke. Nikolas, by the way, thinks this is hilarious. He will now randomly run up to me, and pull my finger, just waiting for that sounds that makes him giggle so much.

Well, tonight topped them all. I was putting Nikolas down to bed and as he was settling in, lying on his stomach, he let loose a huge, loud FART. Never ever before has this kid ever acknowledged the fart. This time, he immediately looked up at me, and giggled like crazy.

What a milestone. My son and I laughed together over a fart for the first time. I am confident it won’t be the last.

Work It...

2011-01-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Last week, I finally got myself a membership to a gym that is super close to my office so that I can use my lunch hour to work out. I’m planning to start with 3 days a week, and see where that leads. Once summer hits, I plan to do a lot of walking at lunch in the nearby ravine, but still will hit the gym for resistance training. I also have an elliptical machine at home, which needs to be put to use more often!

It’s definitely time to lose this “baby weight”. I’m at a weight that I was at long before I got pregnant and struggled then to get rid of, but now, it’s a different kind of weight. Things have shifted and even though the scale shows the same number, my body is certainly different. Either way, I’m not happy with my fitness level, and it’s time to get serious about improving it.

Over an hour-long lunch break, between driving and changing, I end up with 40 minutes of actual exercise time; 10 minutes are dedicated to a warm up, which leaves me with 30 minutes of resistance training. I need to find a good routine that can be done in that amount of time, and hit all the body parts in 3 workouts.

Soon, it will be time to start shopping around for a chariot so that I can go for bike rides again and bring Nikolas along with me! I’m so looking forward to winter being over and spending lots of time outside!

This is My Life….For Now and Forever?

2011-01-07T13:13:00.000-07:00

This week I started working full time. Luckily for me, it’s a short week. Oh and I’m taking Monday off for a pediatrician appointment, so next week will be a short week too. Okay, so two weeks from now, I will have finished my first full week of (paid) work since before I went on maternity leave.

I have to say, I now fully understand the “supper time rush”. When your kid goes to bed at 7:30, you do as much as you can and as quickly as you can so that if you’re lucky, you’ll get 30 minutes of quality play time before night-night time.

My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t comprehend the rush. He gets home a full hour before Nikolas and I do. I’m not sure what he does with that hour, but I can say for certain that the dog is not getting walked, and supper is not being prepared during this “free time”. What a treat that must be! To come home and put your feet up for an hour!

I digress…

My days now look like this:

5:30 am: first alarm goes off. SNOOZE.
5:40 am: second alarm goes off…..wishing I could SNOOZE but instead I drag my ass out of bed and into the shower.
5:40 – 6:30: get ready and my act together before Nikolas gets up.
6:30 – 7:15: Matt and I tag-team getting Nikolas ready to leave the house. I’m leaving it mostly up to Matt right now. In a few short months, he will be gone to work before sun rise, and I’ll get to do it all on my own…..Yippeee!
7:15 – 8:00: Get Nikolas and I bundled up and in the truck, drop him off at the day home and rush to work.
8:00 – 4:30: Work. Check Facebook. Work. Check email. Work. Run errands at lunch time. Work.
4:30: RUSH to the day home to make sure I’m there before 5:00 because that’s when it closes, and she starts to charge by the minute. RUSH home.
5:15: RUSH to get supper made by 6:00, while trying to entertain a toddler, a husband and a dog.
6:30: Supper should be done by now. Clean up Nikolas and hunker down for some quality play time.
7:00: Get Nikolas ready for bed. Bottle, a story, and it’s lights out. I don’t even get cuddle time anymore. He just doesn’t want to be rocked to sleep, or held. He wants to be put down IN HIS BED.
7:30 – 9:00: Creep out of Nikolas’ room and clean up supper and toys. Get supper for the following evening prepared. Walk the dog. Do laundry. Get coffee ready for the morning. Try to get as many errands done as possible before I fall over from exhaustion.
9:00: Fall over from exhaustion.

And then we do it all again the next day! Right now I feel as if I’m staring down years and years of this routine and it’s a little depressing.

Logistics

2010-12-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

I am a planner. Always have been, always will be. I need to go into a situation knowing what to expect when I get there and to make sure I am as prepared as possible for any given situation. You should see THE LIST I have for when we go camping. It’s all organized and pretty on a spreadsheet and everything. You should have seen me that one day years ago when Matt sprung a surprise camping trip on me and packed everything himself. I was so unnerved and anxious about “did you remember extra toilet paper” to “do we have all the condiments we’ll need to eat” and “what about the bear spray? You packed the bear spray...right?”

So one question that always comes back and bugs me is “how will I do this [insert activity name here] with Nikolas, where will I put him so I can do [insert task name here]”. Taking him to the swimming pool for the first time when he was only 10 weeks old almost sent me over the edge. Where would I change him? What would I do with him so I could get changed? How do I get everything shoved into a locker while also making sure he’s safe? Luckily, I had a good friend, and mother of two pre-teens with me to help. And despite the crappy “family” change room at the local pool, we got it all accomplished. (Note to parents who haven’t done this before – just use the bucket car seat for small babies, and strollers for older ones. Some facilities will let you bring your stroller right out onto the pool deck, better pools will even provide strollers and will have playpens by the showers).

Now that I’m back at work, I am still amazed that people go on to have more than one child. HOW do they do it? Literally? HOW???? Right now, I rely on Matt getting Nikolas up and ready to go in the morning while I drag my ass and somehow manage to get out the door. I am dreading summer (isn’t that shitty?) when Matt will be gone by 5:00 am and home after 9:00 (due to his wonderful job in the golf industry – note the sarcasm) and I will have to do it all by myself. I know I will figure it out, but I right now I just don’t know HOW.
Other questions that commonly bother me:

HOW do you manage to prepare meals for your family when another new born enters the scene? It took me months to be able to put Nikolas down long enough to prep and cook a meal. He was feeding like a beast and I was STARVING.

How do you travel with two kids?

How do you take two kids to the pool?

How do you do anything with more than one child???

How do you keep up with a toddler’s schedule (nursery school, play dates, etc) and still make sure a newborn gets their daily naps in?

Parental Advice

2010-12-09T19:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found that the best advice about being a parent comes from those who don’t have kids?

I have to admit; before Nikolas came along, I had no idea what parenthood was all about. When you have kids, you suddenly become part of a secret club. People who are in the club can try to explain to outsiders what it is like, but unless you get in, you really don’t know.

So for people who have no kids and no responsibilities beyond themselves to give advice on how to be a parent, well, I guess it would be like a cave man teaching a pilot how to fly a plane. It’s kind of funny.
Matt came home a few days ago and shared with me that his brother (who has no children) told him that having kids is easy, you just have to be organized and plan. When I heard this, I really did laugh out loud. Oh, I can’t wait for this guy to have kids of his own so he can eat his words!

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to let go of control and just go with the flow. No matter how much planning and organizing I do – and trust me, I’m a planner; I am the queen of lists– things rarely go the way I anticipate. And not that this is a bad thing...unless I let it get to me, which I used to when I was still adjusting to this whole parenthood thing, I’ve just learned to accept the situation and do what I need to do to keep going on my course.

Great example of this was this morning. I was getting ready for work, Matt had gotten Nikolas up and dressed and given him a bottle, and he was off to play. I was in the kitchen, noticed that Nikolas was playing in the mud room. On a quick glance, I took note that he was not eating the dog food, so I wasn’t too concerned about what he was doing in there. A few minutes later, I go in to get my jacket on, and find Nikolas has been experimenting with stepping into the dog’s water dish in his socks, and his feet were soaked! Really, it was cute. However, I had to rush him upstairs for a quick sock change and get out the door. This isn’t something we could have planned for...it just happened, and we deal with it. But putting socks on a 14 month old takes some good wrestling technique, and a few extra minutes.

This doesn’t make parenting easy or hard. It just annoys me when people who don’t have kids think it’s easy and if only a little planning went into your life, it would be a piece of cake. And when comments are made that we’re late for events, I just smile to myself and think “your time is coming buddy”.

Snow Job

2010-11-18T13:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s official: winter has arrived in Edmonton. And winter doesn’t tip-toe through the door. She barges right in, interrupts anyone who may be having a good time, and decides that she is going to wreck the party with her bad behavior and snotty attitude. Wait…am I talking about myself?? No, really, winter sucks. I hate everything about it. I hate the cold, the snow, the ice, the shitty roads, being locked up inside for months at a time because I’m not into winter sports. I could go on and on.

Today, I should be productive at work. I mean, that’s why I’m here, right? Instead, I find myself feeling nostalgic for a time gone by. 2 years ago, around this time, we were planning our 3 week honeymoon to Thailand. We knew we’d be escaping this hell-hole for a brief respite and enjoying the best beaches (and food) in the world. I was shopping for bathing suits, flip-flops and sun screen. Today, I’m finding myself heading over to http://www.flickr.com/, and searching for Thailand beaches so that I can find a pretty photo for my computer desktop. Something that will remind me that warmer places do exist in this world. One day, we will be back. We won’t be alone next time, but we will be back.

Birthday Boy!

2010-10-28T20:55:00.000-06:00

The past few weeks, I’ve been doing alot of reflecting on the past year, and really wondering where the time has gone. To think that a year ago, we were just beginning to adjust to this tiny little boy who we compared to an ewok – based only on the little noises he made, and now we are playing games and teaching him body parts.

Our conversations have gone from “but he ate only 2 hours ago...how can he be hungry again???” to “oh my god...look...he’s walking!” It has been such a ride of ups and downs, and in the beginning everyone would say it gets easier, and I’d get so frustrated, and say “When!? When does it get easier?!” But sure enough, as each month goes by, I think to myself, “this is the best age”. And it really does get easier. Or maybe now we’re just more confident in what we’re doing and let’s face it....we’re getting alot more sleep than we did in the beginning.

For Nikolas’ birthday, I wanted to keep the celebrations small and to include only some family and friends to join us. I wanted it to be simple and stress-free. And it was! It turned out to be the perfect day. I can’t believe how fast my little monkey is growing up!

Fall Fotos

2010-10-11T21:36:00.000-06:00

MIA

2010-10-11T21:23:00.000-06:00

Just about a month ago, my maternity leave ended and I went back to work 3 days a week. Life has once again undergone a big change and we’re trying to adjust to the new way things are.

I really made sure to take advantage of the last few weeks that I got to spend every day with Nikolas, and to not be woken up at 5:30 by an alarm clock...and hitting snooze just isn’t an option anymore. Now that golf season is winding down, Matt is home in the mornings, so helps out with getting Nikolas up and out the door, which helps so much. But, it’s been a pretty big change in our lives and let’s face it, I’m now even more busy that I used to be.

Nikolas is doing great at his day home, despite the fact that he’s been sick for almost a month straight now. (Yayy germs!) He doesn’t cry when I drop him off and he’s always happy to see me at the end of the day when I pick him up. The lady who watches him is great and she’s always amazed at what a good eater he is.

It’s nice being at work and spending some time in an adult environment. I’m enjoying having time to be me for a little bit before I return home and am inundated with a dog, a baby and a husband to take care of, supper to cook and try to fit in going to gym somewhere in there. But we’re adjusting and trying to find a groove that works well for us.

It’s only 4 more days until Nikolas turns ONE YEAR OLD. I can’t believe a year has gone by already and that our little boy is growing up so fast. We’re just having a low-key BBQ for his birthday, but there’s still lots of planning and shopping that needs to get done by the weekend.

Snot Factory

2010-09-07T11:09:00.001-06:00

This morning, I am running on empty. I’ve gone the all-night distance and the fuel gauge is reading well below “E”. But if it means that I am the one that provides my baby comfort in the night while he suffers from a horrible sinus cold, I’d do it again and again.

2 days ago, Nikolas developed a runny nose and one runny eye. I wasn’t sure if it was allergies or a cold coming on, because all fluids were clear, and I’ve heard that indicates allergies. Well, yesterday, it was proven that he has a full-blown cold. And I’m suffering from the worst guilt because while Nikolas needed his mommy and lots of snuggling, I was off caring for someone else’s children. He did get to spend the day with his grandparents, who have an unlimited supply of hugs and cuddles and are always seeking my permission to hold him when he sleeps.

I picked him up in the afternoon after babysitting all day and brought him home for some extra loving. I must say the selfish part of me likes one aspect of Nikolas being sick: he needs to be snuggled. It`s hard to get a snuggle with a little boy who is CONSTANTLY on the move. Usually, the only snuggle time we get is when I`m giving him his morning or bed time bottle.

So I was up for the most of the night, bringing Nikolas into bed with me and letting him sleep on my chest. It was the only position he seemed to be able to breathe in and fall into a deep sleep. This was something I was never comfortable doing when he was an infant, as I was so paranoid about him suffocating. But he usually sleeps on his stomach now, and his snoring as well as his 20-something pounds kept me awake for the most part, so I knew he was ok.

I love being that person that he will always have to give him snuggles and comfort, and to make homemade vegetable soup when he is feeling under the weather. It makes up for the lack of sleep.

One Year

2010-09-05T10:02:00.000-06:00

Yesterday marked one year since I packed up my desk, said good-bye to my co-workers and left my career in I.T behind to start a new journey in parenthood. I have not had to go to work in an office in one year!

Being on maternity leave sure is not “time off”. I’ve worked longer, harder and with more dedication in the past year than I have in all my years in the job force put together. And the reward? While there is no financial gain in being on maternity leave – the Canadian government actually forces women on mat leave below the poverty line – the other rewards have been so amazing. We have the most beautiful, healthy, happy and most easy-going little boy on the planet. And he is happy. That boy is always smiling. If I leave the house, even just to take the garbage outside, when I return, my boy is so happy to see me, and it just melts my heart to see such a huge smile on his face.

Now, this week, I’m going to be leaving Nikolas at his day home for the first time. I don’t start work for a few weeks. Hell, it’s not even 100% confirmed that I have a job, but we’ve had to reserve a spot in a day home for Nikolas months in advance. And even though I’m not planning starting work until the end of September, we still have to pay for the whole month. So I figured, since we’re paying for the spot, we may as well start using it. Nikolas will get used to the idea of going to a different house 3 days a week, and the great thing is that there are 3 other boys similar in age that will be there on the same days.

I have such mixed feelings about this upcoming week. First of all, I can’t believe my year is over. It feels like just a few weeks ago, we were hanging out by the pool in Cuba, enjoying the hot sun, and thinking of going back to work wasn’t even on my radar. And now here we are.

Now I’m thinking of how life is just going to be so much busier with the hustle and bustle of coordinating 3 people’s schedules. I am only going back 3 days a week for now. It saddens me so much that on the days that I work, I will only get to see Nikolas for 2 hours in the evening before he goes to bed. I couldn’t imagine having to do that with a full time job!

On the other hand, I am looking forward to going back to work for a couple reasons. One of them being that I get to mix up my daily routine a bit, and I may even start to have some concept of time. Like what day of the week it is. The other one? The job I’m likely going to be doing is likely to be mundane. I’m okay with that. Because changing diapers all day is also mundane. I just need a different kind of mundane. Also, it’s going to make me appreciate the time I get to spend with Nikolas even more.

The Perfect Day

2010-09-01T11:22:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was such an awesome day. It was one of those days that I’d foolishly fantasize about when I was pregnant and lovingly folding baby clothes and getting the nursery ready for the baby to arrive. It really was that good – relatively speaking. I mean, babies still cry sometimes and the dog still pisses me off on a daily basis. But it was as good as it could be, given the circumstances.

We had our normal daily routine, which I love. I LOVE LOVE LOVE our mornings. It could be because Nikolas normally naps around 2 hours, and it’s when I get my “me time” to laze about and chill-ax, or if I’m feeling especially ambitious, I enjoy a long hot shower and maybe, just maybe, shave my legs. Top AND bottom. We have lazy mornings around here. Nikolas gets up anywhere between 8:00 – 8:30, then we have one of very few snuggle times of the day on the couch wrapped up in a big fuzzy blanket while he has a bottle. Then it’s play time for him, coffee time for me, and within 1.5 hours, breakfast time. After which he promptly goes down for a nap.

We had no plans for the afternoon, so I thought it’d be nice to pack up the dog and head to the city to one of the off leash parks. I had a specific park in mind, but when we drove there, there were Road Closed signs leading up to it! I’m hoping they are just fixing the road, and that the whole park isn’t shut down! So, we turned around and went a little bit further to the Buena Vista off leash park, which is nestled in the river valley. And it’s the most amazing dog park – for a few reasons.

1. It’s stroller friendly

2. It’s freakin huge! There are tons of trails and trees. The dogs get to gallivant in the water. Keko had SUCH a great time.

3. It is my happy place. I love being in the river valley, hitting the trails and enjoying some fresh air. It used to be “my thing”. It’s what I did for fun on almost a daily basis when we lived in the city and had no animals or children that had to be brought along.

Needless to say, I’m going to try my hardest to get back there as much as possible before the season ends.

After enjoying the park for a good hour, I packed up the dog and the baby, and we made our way home. Nikolas quickly fell asleep – I only had to sing “You are my Sunshine” twice. I successfully got him into the house and into his crib where he continued to sleep for another hour while I relaxed on the front porch soaking up the sunshine.

We had more fun as we headed out after supper to pick up a few things at the grocery store where Nikolas did NOT pull any produce off the shelves, specifically blueberries. I learned my lesson last week not to leave the shopping cart within arms’ reach of anything.

Matt came home just in time to put Nikolas to bed while I poured myself a vodka and cranberry pop and put my feet up for the rest of the evening.

This may not sound so perfect or exciting to my friends who have no kids. But trust me, it was a perfect day.

The Kid Does Not Know What He’s in For!

2010-08-29T11:11:00.000-06:00

For those of you who personally know me, you know that I’m a pretty laid back mom. I don’t freak out over every little bruise and scrape. I let Nikolas experiment with all sorts of different stuff as long as it’s generally safe. And I even let him summersault once or twice down the stairs before catching him.

Okay, who am I kidding? I’ve never moved so fast in my life as when I saw him falling down the stairs this morning. I grabbed his arm (or maybe it was a leg) mid-summersault as he was falling end over end like a rag doll. But, he was not hurt. We were both a little shaken up, and continued on with our day. Drama-free, just as I like it.

And most of all, I harass my kid as much as I can. Why? Because I’m the mom, of course! After all a parent goes through, if you don’t come out the other side with a wicked sense of humour, sweetie, you are fucked.

Recently, I’ve made a point of not putting shoes on Nikolas if we are going out and I am not anticipating him crawling anywhere and dragging the tops of his feet along some dirty floor or grass in the playground. If it’s nice enough, he goes barefoot, just like his mama.

Lately, it has been a little chilly here, so it’s just been socks for him. While I’m driving, I can see him in the rear view mirror yanking and tugging on his socks until at least one of them is off, and he’ll chew on his foot. It really is funny to watch this unfold.

So tonight, we all went grocery shopping – yes, Matt was actually home to join us – and on the way home, Nikolas was grunting and getting super frustrated because he could not get his socks off. Matt and I were both giggling in the front seat, amused by this. Matt had to pull over on the side of the road to grab a snack from the grocery bags. He was just that hungry that he couldn’t wait another 10 minutes to get home. So, while he was rooting around in the back, I hopped out and went to help Nikolas get his socks off. What a look of relief that came over his face! But then, (THEN!!) I took the socks and put each one on each of his hands, shut his door and hopped back into the front seat.

We got to spend the next few minutes laughing hysterically while our poor boy struggled and fought to get those socks off his hands! And when it comes to being frustrated, the boy is JUST LIKE HIS MAMA. He flailed his hands about, screaming and moaning like it was the end of the world.

Really, this boy is in for a world of being teased as he grows up. And I can’t wait.

Table for Two

2010-08-26T22:18:00.000-06:00

Tonight, for the first time, Nikolas and I ate dinner together. I got to eat my food at the same time that he ate his! Everything I served him he was able to pick up and eat all by himself. It was so nice to sit down and enjoy a meal with my boy. Not before, not after, but at the same time. He had chicken breasts, steamed carrots infused with dill and tortellini (no sauce). He obviously liked the chicken and tortellini a lot more than the carrots, as he always ate those first and would ignore the carrots.

I also found out tonight just how much that boy is capable of eating! I set aside quite a bit of food for him, thinking that I’d just eat whatever was left over. I would put a little on his table at a time, and he would keep eating and eating and so I'd just kept putting more and more on until he showed me he was no longer hungry. How did he do this? Well, I kinda figured it out when he’d grab a piece of food and just casually hang his hand over the side of his chair and drop it for the dog! But really, I was surprised at how much he ate. Maybe it’s time to start increasing portion sizes??

It’s so awesome to finally be able to cook a meal and sit down and enjoy it. When Nikolas was first born, there was no such thing. There was never any time for cooking when he was so little and so demanding of me. I remember being so frustrated when he was only about 3 weeks old. I was trying to cook hash browns - nothing too complicated - but he would scream as soon as I tried to put him in his swing. I got so angry because I was so hungry and just wanted some food that was cooked and not warmed up in the microwave. Then a few months later, I’d finally be able to escape to the kitchen and cook, but then Matt and I would eat in shifts while also keeping Nikolas entertained.

As Nikolas is eating more and more “grown up” food, I am doing my best to ensure that he eats only healthy nutrient-dense food and really limit the amount of processed food he eats. He does occasionally get the odd treat of a few spoons of ice cream, or a bite from a cupcake, but for the most part, he eats pretty damn healthy. I am going to start eating the same way, and try to stop eating all the convenient crap that ends up in my house. I want to make an effort to cook more healthy meals for the whole family so that Nikolas has a good role model to follow and has healthy eating habits as he grows up.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 15

2010-08-21T23:27:00.001-06:00

Half way there! Slowly but surely wins the race...

So today was a really good day, and here are the things I am grateful for:

1. That Nikolas sleeps for 11-12 hours at night. I have a friend who has a son just a couple weeks younger who is still up several times a night. I really feel for her. I'd be such a raging bitch if I hadn't had one full night of sleep in over 10 months.

2) Long morning naps. For Nikolas, of course. During his nap this morning, I got my kitchen floor washed, plucked my eyebrows AND curled my hair.

3) Choosing to go to Superstore over Der Mart (I mean Wal Mart) to stock up on baby food. It actually wasn't that bad for a Saturday afternoon and no strangers earned the stink eye from moi.

4) I'm adding a fourth just for shits & giggles. I totally forgot to express my gratitude a few weeks ago when we officially finished the last can of formula and made the switch over to homo milk! That shit is expensive!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 14

2010-08-20T23:10:00.000-06:00

Today, I am grateful for:

1. My monthly massage.
2. Cute rubber boots
3. My boy who wants to copy mama while she is dusting. Makes me wonder what chore to show him next!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 13

2010-08-19T08:12:00.001-06:00

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Movie night with the girls
2. Eat Pray Love
3. Hand puppets!

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30 Days of Gratitude: Day 12

2010-08-17T22:08:00.000-06:00

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Visits with a friend who has a baby very similar in age to Nikolas.
2. Being out of the house for most of the day.
3. Nikolas didn't torture me despite an interrupted afternoon nap.

House Bound

2010-08-14T09:36:00.000-06:00

For the past little while -- I can’t even begin to guess how long, because there is no sense of time in maternity-leave land –- Nikolas has settled into a 2-nap-a-day routine. His first nap occurs about 2 hours after he gets up in the morning, and he sleeps for roughly 2 hours. Then he has an afternoon nap, and it can happen anytime from right after lunch at 1:00, or as late as 3:00 or 4:00. This nap is shorter, usually an hour or so.

I think back to when he was only 4 or 5 months old, and I was struggling so hard to get him to nap at all. It was so difficult, I’m pretty sure it’s what drove me into my downward spiral to the rock bottom of my depression. So don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled that he sleeps during the day. However, it keeps me house bound.

Mornings are strictly for at home. Get up, give him a bottle, let him play for awhile, then breakfast, and nap. Then depending on how long his nap is, he’ll usually play some more until lunch time. Earlier this week I thought I’d try to go for a run right after breakfast, and he could sleep in his stoller. So I got him strapped in, got myself and the dog ready to hit the trails, and Nikolas didn’t fall asleep until we were on our way home, and it only lasted about 20 minutes. (Lesson learned: I suffered for the rest of the day right up until his bed time).

So, if I’m lucky, I can plan to leave the house immediately after lunch, unless he’s showing he’s ready for another nap.....ughhhhhh!

I can no longer plan anything with anybody, especially if they also have a baby, who also needs to nap! If I have errands to run, or groceries to pick up, I can plan to do only one thing per outing. And the whole time I’m watching Nikolas very carefully for signs that it’s time to get home RIGHT NOW because I don’t want him to fall asleep on the way home...because then he won’t sleep when we get home! Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I’d love to start taking classes at the gym, or attend baby aqua-size, but nothing is scheduled for right after lunch.

We’re nearing the end of summer – gasp – and I feel like I haven’t had many chances to really enjoy it. Every outing is about getting something accomplished...run errands, take the dog out, etc. It’s never just about having fun. And the fun we have is alone, because it’s been so difficult to make plans with anybody else. I’ve been feeling really isolated and lonely, and Matt is still working crazy hours at the golf course, so he usually comes home in time for Nikolas to go to bed, or he's already there.

It’s getting to the point now where I am actually looking forward to going back to work a few days a week, just so I can get out of the house.

Do any SAHM’s have any advice for me? How do I handle this??

My First Wordless Wednesday: Trouble!

2010-08-11T22:30:00.000-06:00

I Love it When...

2010-08-11T17:11:00.001-06:00

You imitate sounds like water draining from the bathtub. Gllllaagggllhhhhh.

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A Boy’s Best Friend

2010-08-10T21:26:00.000-06:00

Today I realized that in time that I’ve been writing, I don’t think I’ve mentioned one important part of our little family: Keko.

Keko has been such a trooper since Nikolas came along, going through weeks of attention-neglect, days where I’ve forgotten to feed him and through it all, he is the best dog a person could ask for.

For those of you who don’t know Keko’s story, we got him from S.C.A.R.S (Second Chance Animal Rescue Society) in March of 2009. He was found wandering on the side of the road on an Indian reservation up in Northern Alberta, and was picked up by a volunteer. He had bad scarring across his shoulders which indicated that he was once a sled dog. To this day, he still has the scars, but the fur around them had grown back and they are barely noticeable anymore.

I was just a couple months pregnant, and we had been waiting so long to buy a house so that we could get a dog. I had just recently given up my cat that I’d had for about 15 years, and the house was feeling empty without a pet. We knew it was time for our dog.

The weekend that I brought Keko home, Matt was in BC on a snowboarding trip, and hadn’t even met the dog. I went to the foster home where Keko had been living with a family for about 5 months to meet him, and I swear he did everything in his power to make me not like him. When I walked up to the house he was living at, I was greeted by a menacing barking dog with scary eyes chained up in the front yard. I took him for a walk by myself, and he was such a jerk. He kept jumping up on me, trying to rip the leash out of my hand and he pulled like crazy...which made sense, since his job used to be to pull. Once back at the house, I saw how he interacted with the family, and figured that despite his rough edges, I’d give him a chance.

A year and a half later, he’s still with us, and what improvements he’s made since coming home! We had to break alot of bad habits and even took him to obedience lessons. I really wanted to have him settled in with us before Nikolas came along so that he knew what part he played in our family. He was my sidekick for all of last summer and we spent many hot summer days at the dog park. He’d run like the wind and I’d waddle like a penguin.

I was of course nervous about how he’d act around little kids, but there were several incidents at the park where I’d see him get between other dogs and the kids to protect them. He’d even taken down a great dane that was barrelling straight towards a 2 yr old. What a proud mama I was that day!

I must say now how happy I am that Keko is Nikolas’ protector, and more recently, best bud. Who wouldn’t want to be best friends with someone who drops treats from the high chair?

He has shown such patience with being neglected by us for attention (and occasionally food) and doesn’t really react when Nikolas slaps him, rips out fist-fulls of fur, or constantly tries to grab his weiner. He is so gentle and is even starting to roll onto his back when Nikolas is showering him with attention.

The down side of Keko being such a great protector? I will never be able to beat my kids. The other night, I was goofing around, and lightly snapping a tea-towel at Nikolas. Keko was so not impressed and made it known. The growling and snapping at me really surprised me. Guess I’ll have to find some other kinds of discipline for the future....

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 11

2010-08-08T21:02:00.001-06:00

Today I am grateful for:
1. Spending a leisurely morning alone.
2. Brunch with family.
3. Bike rides! (my first time riding today since before I was pregnant)

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30 Days of Gratitude: Day 10

2010-08-07T22:39:00.000-06:00

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Grandparents to who call us over for their "Nikolas fix".
2. Afternoon naps.
3. Spending the evening wandering Whyte Ave with my two favorite guys.