It All Begins With A Vision

Our Choice to Evolve

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 22:54:00 +0000

My mind was very active early this week with the arrival of Hurricane Sandy as she rolled across the Atlantic smack onto the beaches of New Jersey—and then with the catastrophic devastation she left in her trail. I’ve been going to the beaches of New Jersey for all of my life, and I’m very sad for the loss of life and property that resulted.

As I looked at the many pictures posted on the internet, someone said that Mother Nature has a way of correcting things. I shook my head and said I didn’t “get” that. The same was said to me earlier this year with the ravaging fires in Colorado. Maybe I need to think about it more, or perhaps research it, but to me it’s just Mother Nature—and she is a bitch sometimes!

Since I always filter life through the 5 principles of jckrbbt that serve me well, I came to the conclusion that Hurricane Sandy has presented many people, businesses and towns with the opportunity to engage in the principle evolve—that is to undergo continuous and gradual change. This change—though—is anything but continuous and gradual. It’s violent, absolute, and sudden. What human nature has over Mother Nature in these battles is the will and vision to re-create what has been destroyed and taken. And I’m certain that New Jersey, New York and all the devastated areas will be back! No question!

What I pondered this week is how many of us have the opportunity every day and every week to evolve, yet we don’t grasp this opportunity. How many of us—me included—sometimes wait for a “hurricane of life”, if you know what I mean, that forces us to evolve. So think about it if you’d like—what about you needs to change? What do you need to learn? Unlearn? What new actions will move you faster and more easily to your vision?

To the people impacted by Hurricane Sandy—not just in New Jersey, but all impacted—you are in my prayers and I wish you tremendous grace as you rebuild.

To those of us not impacted directly by Hurricane Sandy—you are in my prayers and I wish tremendous grace as you evolve…

Be well.

Danny

Test your stake!

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 15:15:00 +0000

I came across a great short article in which Vivek Paul, former CEO of a billion dollar tech company shared an interesting story--if you've heard a similar version, it's probably worth hearing again. Paul described a trip to Bangalore years ago when he came across an elephant tied to a small stake in the ground. He was curious as to why the elephant didn't just yank the stake out of the ground and be on his/her way.

The animals handler explained that as babies these elephants are tied to a stake and learn through struggling that they cannot break free. Even as these wonderfully powerful animals grow, they do not test the stake again--thus remaining trapped my an earlier mindset that should by now be irrelevant. This weak restraint in reality is made powerful and limiting in the elephants mind and belief.

When Paul was told this, he responded, "That's probably relevant to people as well."

Amen! I cannot speak for you all, but man have I had many 'stakes' that have limited me for no valid reason. Why do we allow this? Maybe we are afraid of what may be possible. Maybe we like the uncomfortable familiarity of where we are?

I worked with two wonderful clients this week that are both looking at some 'stakes' and working to break free. They are both on the verge of larger success in their careers; they've done the work, they are commited, intelligent and kind. They just simply need to let it happen. And they will.

What stakes are in your life. Slow down, identify them and imagine what it will be like when you pull them out---then pull them out!

Be well
Danny

Keep Struggling

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 15:59:00 +0000

Recently I had the opportunity to spend an hour and a half with a group of people at The World Bank in Washington, D.C. I gave a brief talk and then engaged in some discussion, insight and questions with the people. What a great time with great people.

During one exchange a young woman talked about her quest to practice the principle of jckrbbt we call be still. This is the discipline we create in our day to slow down and disconnect from the business of our daily lives here on Earth, so we can connect with something bigger. She said that she tries it practice this, and sometimes she is good—and sometimes not so good at it. She smiled and said, “I’m struggling.”

My response was simple, and it came directly from my heart. I said to her, “Keep struggling.” Initially, I think she was surprised and maybe even thought I’d provided an insincere or sarcastic response. But as we engaged in more conversation about this I reminded her that when she was practicing be still, and even though in her opinion she was not doing it well—she was doing it. Hear me on this—she was doing it. Too often I work with people that feel they need to do something or practice one of the jckrbbt principles and be perfect at it. Well, all I can offer to you (and to me) is that we will likely never be perfect—at anything.

So? Where in your life are you struggling? Spiritual? Fitness? Finances? Relationships? Self-talk? Moving on past some negative event in your life?

What action can you take to continue to move toward the vision you are creating? Think about it.

Got it?

Good, do that. And repeat this process over and over and over again, and you know what? You will create a place where you are no longer struggling. Hang in there!

Be well and God Bless.

Danny

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 15:54:00 +0000

Expect it when you know “it” is coming

So often we’re afraid of something we know is inevitable. And this thing is not a good thing. Now, I know that may sound negative and not it line with what I usually write about. You know, develop vision and create reality. Seek support through positive self-talk and holding strong thoughts of intention. But let’s face it; sometimes in life there is a change or transition, or just an everyday happening where we can 99% predict what will happen.

I thought about this very subject this weekend as me, my wife, our middle son and young daughter dropped our oldest son off at college. In my experience, this life change unit (LCU) is a big deal for probably about 80% of the kids that head off to grow, study, mature, party, etc. with the intention of leaving after four years to pursue their destiny. Not a bad way to spend four years—and approximately $200,000.

Anyhow, my son and I had a few minutes together at a table outside the student center. I asked him how he felt and he said okay, but that he was sure he’d have his moments. I got that and offered this to him. It’s like when you go through a haunted house the first time. Remember when the guy with the chainsaw and hockey mask jumped out at you and you freaked out. Sure, we all do. Then we calmed down and said, “Let’s go through again.” This time (if the hockey-mask guy is any good) he jumped out at you again, but he did it sooner because he knew you’d be expecting it in the same place. You were scared, okay maybe just alarmed, and then you went on. If you’re like most of us, you went through a third time, you weren’t really concerned with when and where he jumped out—because you could deal with it, and continue through and out of the house.

So I said to my son, “Think about this. You know you’re going to feel crappy in the next week or two. And it may happen for even a month or two. But how about if when the feeling comes, you recognize it because you expected it. You say something like, “Well, here it is: crappy time. Let me sit with it a few minutes and then take action to move me to feeling better.” I told him that may be going for a run, calling his mom or me, calling one of his siblings, his cousin or a friend. Maybe it would just be walking to the student center to get something to eat or drink. Perhaps it would be watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother on his Mac. He smiled. He got it.

That talk with my son was on Saturday; this morning I observed a small girl walking into her new grammar school crying, and holding the hand of her big sister. I’ll bet she’ll cry tomorrow and maybe the next day. Not sure I’d bet $20 that she’d be crying on the fourth day and beyond. Now I don’t expect this young girl to know what I’m writing about here, she’ll figure this out like the rest of us. Although some of us need to keep evolving with this topic.

So, where in your life do you know something is inevitably going to occur? And what’s the action(s) you could take to move to a positive place. Here are a few “generic” possibilities:

· Your boss/spouse/teenage/mother or mother-in-law let’s fly with a “zinger” not far into a conversation you are having.

o Action: You let go with a “counter-zinger” and the battle commences, or you acknowledge the comment in silence and respond from a place of understanding and love.

· You come back to your dorm room after your third class of the day during your second week of college, lay on your bed and feel like crap.

o Action: Allow the feeling to spin downward and accept the negative self-talk that follows—convincing yourself that you must drop out immediately and return for a fifth year of high school. Or you let the feeling of crap settle for a moment or two, then you call a key person in your support network and tell them how you feel, and that you’re really thankful for their presence in your life.

· You begin to engage in a new behavior to produce a desired result and you revert back to an old behavior. (My middle son told me today he walked to last year’s locker.)

o Action: Wallow in how hard change is and how it works for everyone but you. You convince yourself you gave it a good try, but it’s just not easy for you. Or you just simply do the new behavior again, and again, and again and again and you get the message. Confidence and new habits simply come from repetition and practice.

An American Baptist preacher, Vance Havner, said, “The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps—we must step up the stairs.”

Great thoughts from Preacher Havner. Set your vision, move into action and expect it when you know “it” is coming!

Be well

Danny

BE where you are; SEE where you're going!

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 03:11:00 +0000

One of the things I've come to really practice and continue to grow at is the art of being in the moment--being present--but also having an awareness about where I'm going. For most of us this 'where we're going' is the vision that we are turning into a reality. Provided we've done the mental work to get clear and develop our vision.

I was reminded of this the other day when I was taking an early morning run along the Delaware Bay in North Cape May, New Jersey. I run on Beach Drive along the bay and then into a small parking lot next to the jetty that ushers the ferry boats in and out of Cape May. This particular morning was very hot and humid, and the bay's surface looked like glass. This ultra-smooth surface was occassionally broken by a slow moving dolphin coming up for air.

Trust me, it was a great morning! Anyow when I get to the jetty (see picture below) and begin to run out to its end, I need to get into the state I described above. I need to be where I am and see where I'm going. You see the jetty is comprised of huge boulders with relatively flat tops to them, but in between the boulders lurk potential ankle crushing and knee-twisting gaps, As one runs on this rocky path you must be sure to place your foot properly on the rock in front of you--but the interseting thing is that you're not looking at that rock. You looked at that two steps ago and now--while you are placing your foot on the next rock--your eyes and focus are two rocks out further toward the open water.

How true is this with life?

Where are you headed this year? What's your vision for your health? Your spirituality? Your relationships? Your career? And any other significant areas of your life?

What is the vision you've developed in each of these areas? Is it really clear with stong detail? AND what is the action or actions you can take today to move toward turning these visions into reality?

Be well.

Danny

We control our feelings--not others.

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 21:13:00 +0000

I had two nice conversations recently. One was with a friend of mine, Bob, at the party for our son’s graduation. Bob said I need to post more content to my website and I wholeheartedly agreed; Bob is a very wise man.

The second conversation was with two of my older siblings, Trish and Paul. We chatted about a bunch of topics over a quick dinner, but one in particular arose when my sister was telling us a story about someone she works with and she asked Paul and I, “How come she can make me feel like that?” And the “that” at the end of her question was not a positive feeling. I offered to her that the woman does not make her feel a certain way; it’s Trish’s reaction to what the woman said that is the feeling. Hard stuff to wrap our heads around for sure. And notice I said our because I struggle with this as well. There are certain people that I still allow to alter my state of being. I can be feeling very good, and positive and fulfilled, and wham! One conversation with someone can alter my state immediately. This is a huge area of focus for me.

So, how can we continue to evolve (one of the principles of jckrbbt) into the person that is neutral to negative comments, references, and feedback?

Here are few suggestions I’ve come to practice over the years:

1. Lead with Love, look at the person and make a strong effort to love them

2. Ask them what their intention is in this conversation. Is it to offend you and/or make you feel bad/angry/hurt? Most people may change their approach and tone in the conversation when you call them on their intention

3. Walk away, or terminate the interaction

4. And when someone rejects you (it could be in a relationship, on a sales call, in a submission of your manuscript, etc.) shift your perspective to, “They’ve not rejected me, they just answered my question/inquiry and it’s different from the answer I was seeking.” I heard this from a wise facilitator at a personal growth seminar I attended last year. It works very well.

I am a student of quotes, for I love insight and wisdom from simple phrases or a few sentences. Here are a few for us to ponder as we reflect on the impact others may have on us:

See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little.

~Pope John XXIII

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

~Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from "The Serenity Prayer" by

Reinhold Niebuhr

He who knows much about others may be learned, but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.

~Chinese proverb

Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.

~Author unknown

…and perhaps the most famous of these types of quotes:

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

So, have a great day and the next time someone begins to “make” you feel bad, just stop and be conscious that you have a choice—and choose to be in a good energy.

Be well.

Danny

Do Not Wait to Determine What Is Important

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 00:14:00 +0000

I had a conversation with a friend of mine recently. He'd just lost his wife of 30+ years suddenly. She was 50.

How many times in our lives have we experienced a tragic loss? If you’re like the most of us, it happens. It slows us down and causes an intense reflection on the life we’re living. We identify what’s important to us—and most folks I discuss this with say it comes down to Faith and people/relationships.

Sometimes we also take stock of our lives at happy milestones. Our oldest son, Luke, recently graduated from high school. The Baccalaureate Mass and Commencement were wonderful and provided me the opportunity to be thankful and reflect on the important things in life. And for me it was the same; Faith, Family, Friends.

A few weeks ago I observed this when Philip Philips won this season’s American Idol competition. Now weather or not you’re an Idol fan is irrelevant. Just watch the clip below as Phillips sings his title song, Home, after winning the event. He’s fulfilled his dream; he’ll likely make truckloads of money, it was reported that over 21 million people were watching him, and you know what happened? He could not even finish singing the song. He was overcome with emotion and left the stage to be welcomed onto a mass of human love--the hugs of his family. He knew what’s important. It seemed as I watched him throughout the season that he has a strong grasp and respect for what’s important—his family and his music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmWxNmDqJWc&feature=related

So, a short blog post here. Let’s all not wait for tragedy or triumph to determine what’s important.

Just stop, close your eyes, be still, and determine who and what’s important—and let them know!

Be well

Danny

Hey, wait a minute. This stuff on the test wasn’t covered in class.

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 04:36:00 +0000

I’m blessed with a wonderful family of many unique individuals. The total number of family including mine and my wife’s--parents and their siblings and family members, and my own siblings and their family members totals 83 people at the moment—between the ages of 4 months and 83 years. For me, it’s a beautiful lab of human behavior that I study daily. Albeit, sometimes I’m my own subject (self-awareness is a beautiful thing). Anyhow, one of my college-aged nephews recently proclaimed, “That test was brutal. A lot of the stuff on it was not covered in class.”

Smiling as my sister recounted his observation to me during one of our frequent phone conversations, a proclamation came to mind—welcome to life. Many of you are probably smiling now and thinking to yourselves; “Amen, brother”; “You can say that again.”;“Just stay tuned, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”; or the quite popular, “Life’s just not fair.”

So, what’s some of the stuff on life’s test that wasn’t covered in class? How about…

Ø the first time your heart gets broken

Ø when you find out someone you trusted did something that smashed that trust

Ø when your company has a layoff/downsizing/restructuring/reallocation of resources…bottom line…you lose your job

Ø when a close relative older than you dies

Ø when a close relative younger than you dies

Ø when you realize you are no longer going to be married to the person you said “I do” too

Ø when you need to choose a college/university and they all look good—or not so good

Ø when you finally make the money you want to make, but still lack happiness and fulfillment

Ø when the doctor comes into the room and says, “We did see something. We want to run some tests.”

What should we do when we come across this stuff? Because it wasn’t covered in class. Perhaps try this.

Expect that this stuff is going to show up

We’ve all probably gone into a haunted house around Halloween and been scared to death when a guy wearing a hockey mask and wielding a chainsaw jumped out from behind some haystack. We screamed and ran. Then you went through again, and this time you noticed the chain saw didn’t even have a chain on it. The third time through you and your friends actually scared the guy in the mask. I love learning about Abraham Lincoln. One quote I’ve come across attributed to Abe is, “We dare not disregard the lessons of experience.” Abe encourages us to reflect on all the happenings in our life and determine some basic truths. One is that we will be faced with situations that we’re not quite certain how to handle.

Recognize it

As my current boss and friend, Sally McGhee,

often says in her wonderful British accent,

“Let’s just call a thing a thing.”

Act

Get a clear understanding of what needs to be different about the situation so you’ll feel better, then identify the action(s) to be taken—and take them! Even when the situation is bleak, we always have a choice in how we respond to it. If you don’t “buy” this please do yourself a huge favor and read Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl’s bookMan’s Search for Meaning. It’s sold 10 million copies and is a wonderful testament to the power of choice and mindset in the face of absolute.

http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0671023373

Another is the late Randy Pausch’s memoir The Last Lecture that he wrote as he dealt with a terminal disease.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Last-Lecture-Randy-Pausch/dp/1401323251/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334377077&sr=1-1

Seek Support

If you read my book, Back From Heaven’s Front Porch, 5 Principles for Creating a Happy and Fulfilling Life, when it’s published in August 2012 you’ll gain a better understanding of my philosophy for living a happy and fulfilled life that I call jckrbbt. It’s comprised of 5 principles, and I’ve come to know that many times when I’m working to create a new reality due to a negative situation in my life I need to apply more than one of the principles at the same time. Seek support is one of these principles. Talk with people that love you and want the best for you. And watch what you’re saying to yourself; our own self-talk is many times our greatest foe.

Evolve (my favorite definition is “to undergo continuous and gradual change”)

Open up to the possibilities of how you’re experiencing your present situation, and creating a new reality on the “other side” of the situation will offer fertile ground for growth—yours!

Oh, and remember to smile and breathe (as hard as that seems at the moment). You’ve likely seen the research that both contribute to lower blood pressure and a more positive mental and emotional state.

I’m certain you can add your own items to the list above, and maybe some strategies you’ve implemented. I’d be glad if you responded to this blog and let us know what they are/were.

My nephew whose observation spawned the idea for this blog is a fine young man. I love him and his spirit, and know he’ll continue to live a life full of kindness, risk, laughter, fulfillment and love.

So to all of us, let’s enjoy this life—even with all of its "stuff that was not covered in class." Practice the jckrbbt principle of evolve and undergo continuous and gradual change. You’ll be glad happy you did.

Be well.

Danny

Take Off Your Brace

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 16:09:00 +0000

I'm 48 years-old and I went for a run the other day. It was a short run, about 2 miles. Not a big deal, right. Well, for me it was.

Let me flash back a few months. I enjoy running. It's good for my body for sure, but I believe I do it because it's good for my mind, and great for my Soul. In mid-November I was in Denver for a company retreat. We'd finished our last day about 3:00 pm and I wasn't flying home to Philly until the next morning. It was a clear, cool day in the Cherry Creek section of Denver and there was a nice walk/run/bike path out the back of the hotel that twisted along a small river. I felt good as I began my run. About a half-mile into it I decided to turn off onto a dirt trail that led down to the river. About 8 strides into the descent I stepped on a camofaluged rock sticking out of the leaf-covered ground. I rolled my ankle almost all the way over and immediately went down. I tied my shoe as tight as possible and noticed the clammy feeling overtaking my body. You've got to be kidding me, there's no way I broke my ankle.

I limped back to the hotel and did the elevation and ice treatment until I went to bed that night. After a busy month, and after many suggestions from my wife and kids to perhaps go to the doctor, and me replying, "It'll be okay.", I finally went. It was diagnosed as torn ligaments. I was instructed to wear a black, lace-up brace for the next month so it could heal. Limited exercise. No running. I listened to the doctor now, after my stubborness put me a month behind in rehab. Time passed, it felt slightly stronger, and my doctor said I could try to run again, "But, wear the brace, and take it slow." Little did he know I had no choice relative to speed. Slow was my only gear.

My ankle continued to grow stronger, but my running was not at the level it had been prior to this injury. Initially I ran with the large, black lace-up brace on. While this brace certainly provided support, it was confining. I went to the drugstore and purchased a smaller, lighter Ace bandage brace, you know, the elastic kind--sort of like a girdle for my ankle. This was better, but I was still focused on the brace.

So, I ran the other day. I ran without a brace. I ran easy; my pace faster than any since November.

Here's the two-part lesson that hit me upside my head as I reflected on this. #1 - While I was running with the brace on I was focused on just that--the brace. #2. - This focus allowed me no space to be better. Once I removed the brace, there was still the lingering pain and twinges in my ankle--but I began again to focus on running. I began to be better.

I've had many self-imposed "braces" in my life that I've left on for far too long.

Here are a few:
- "Why'd I major in Accounting?"
- "I just can't find the right job."(remember: "Life isn't about finding yourslef. Life is about creating yourself." George Bernard Shaw)
- "If they would only see it my way."
- "They just don't understand."
- "I'm glad it's them and not me."
- "What if they don't like me? And what I have to say?"
- "I still can't believe she did that."
- "It didn't work last time."
- "What's the use of even trying?"
- and on and on and on...

So? What braces might you still have on that need to go? After all, we only have right now.

I'm 48 years-old and I love the lessons life continues to offer me. I think Forrest Gump knows what we're talking about here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2-MCPa_3rU

Be well.
Danny

Rule #1 for the Book of Life: Do Not Skip Pages

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:02:00 +0000

I was reading--and I use this term loosely--a business book today and found myself flipping pages very quickly and even skipping some. Not a real big deal for me as I just wanted to get an overview of the book and have a high-level concept of the content, I didn't really want to experience it.

Then my day unfolded...and it hit me.

Life is a book. For some it is short, for others it is long. For Hellen Keller it was a "daring adventure....", while for other it's a conundrum. Everyday in this book of life we have the opportunity to skip pages. It seems that many people, my self included, never really look to skip the Friday, Saturday and Sunday pages. But man, can we turn through Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday real fast.

As I read the article, Top five regrets of the dying (see link below), the substance of this blog post began to percolate. Too often I see and hear many people turning the pages of the week quickly, not fully absorbing the wonderful message on the pages.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying?fb=native

So...Slow down...get out of your email...turn off your computer...your iPhone, Blackberry, Droid and whatever else is getting in the way!

Go to a movie. Read. Be still. Smile. Talk. Pretend like Tuesday in really Saturday. Call out from work. Go somewhere within a two hour drive that you always wanted to visit. Tell someone you love them. And then tell someone else. Ponder what you would do if you got fired. Create and hold the image in your mind's eye what a happy and fulfilling life will look like for you in 3 years. Take one action to move toward that image.

And above all, be well.
Danny

MIND THE GAP

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:56:00 +0000

During a recent trip to London I received some thought-provoking advice from a recorded voice as I made my way onto the Heathrow Express heading into Paddington station. Over and over the voice instructed me and my fellow travelers to do one thing, three words - MIND THE GAP.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkmclPnAy1A

As I gazed out the window at the rolling English countryside I realized that this wonderful voice was almost like my inner voice, my self talk. It seems that many people have a gap between where they are and where they want to get to--to their vision. If you're one of these people (I sure am), welcome to the masses. Take a guess at the number of people, that if you asked them, 'Are you where you want to be in life?'--with career, health, spirituality, relationships, finances and all the other wonderful areas that make up their life--would answer an emphatic NO. I'm guessing for me it would be somewhere between 7-9 people out of every 10 I ask.

So, about 30 minutes later, I stepped off the train in Paddington station and right onto a sign at my feet with three simple words on it, 10 letters...

I smiled and said out loud to the amusement of the young lady exiting next to me, "Okay, okay, I got it." I'm certain she thought I was talking about the gap between the train and the platform.

So during my time in London, and after a wonderfully inspirational performance of Wicked at the Victoria Theater, I began to "mind the gap."

A few things showed up for me:

My book project was not where it needed to be
My earnings for the year were okay, but certainly not where I wanted them to stay
My relationship with my wife and kids (and a few others) needed some more "quality" attention (notice the word quality; by this I mean that I am with them not just in body, but also brought my head and heart along...no iPhone, computer or any other wonderfully distractive gizmos)
My health was not where I wanted it to be as I stood just two years out from the big 5-0

What to do now? Simple. Number one: create a picture--a vision--of how it will be when I get to where I want to be and the gap no longer exists; and number two: identify what actions I need to take to move toward the vision.

Interesting for me as I sit in a coffee shop completing this blog post--two months after that trip to London--is that the gaps I identified after encouragement from an anonymous electronic voice with a delightful English accent have moved a great deal closer to closure--to the vision.

So? MIND THE GAP!

Be well
Danny

Productivity is not an accident—it’s a process!

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 02:56:00 +0000

You know the saying about only two things being certain—death and taxes. Well, I’ve come to discover some others in my 47 years. While we could certainly have a great time discussing some of these discoveries, I’d like to focus here on what drives productivity? That is, what thinking and behavior drive some people to “get the right things done”—an emerging definition of productivity, while millions of other well intentioned, hard-working, intelligent people live in a blended state of chaos, overwhelm, stress, poor work/life balance and a perpetual feeling that it would all be better if only they could win the lottery. The problem there is the odds aren’t very good for two reasons. Number one, the odds of winning are not good. Number two, most people are so busy and distracted that they forget to buy a ticket.

For years I tried in vain to “get everything done” and for years I failed. In hindsight I realized that much of what I was trying to get done did not deserve my focus. I’ll offer for your consideration that what people want to generate and control is not time, that’s to finite, what they may want to generate more of and control is their focus—that is, their concentration and attention on something (perhaps a particular task/activity). The late Peter Drucker certainly stimulated reflection for me when I read a quote of his, “Nothing is less effective than doing efficiently that which should not be done in the first place.” Ah, Peter, Peter, where were you when I needed you.

My life took a wonderful turn when a twist of fate led to a call I received from a wonderful person under whom I studied the profession of coaching just a stone’s throw from the blue Pacific in Santa Barbara. Her call led me to some wonderful people who help others develop and refine their approach to being productive. For the past seven years I’ve been blessed to make a living helping others move from stress, overwhelm and things falling between the cracks to a state of control and relaxed focus. That was a great call.

So, what I’ve found to be certain—along with death and taxes—is that productive people have a strong thought process about their ability to get the right things done. This thinking drives behaviors that are done completely and consistently until they’ve become habits. And research indicates that our habits (definition: acquired behavior patterns regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary) account for approximately 75% of our daily activities. So then, reason suggests that our habits are either moving us toward control and a relaxed focus—or repelling us from it toward the lottery ticket machine.

If I had $5 for every time someone said to me over the years, “Danny, you don’t understand. I have sooooo much on my plate.” I’d buy a new suit, a very expensive suit. Anyhow, my response is usually a sincere and caring smile. I nod my head and respond, “I know, I know, I can only imagine all that you need to accomplish and manage in your life. I’ll tell you what, show me your plate and we’ll get started.” You can probably guess what happens.

These wonderful people take me on a tour of their “plate”—legal pads and note pads and documents with scribbled notes in the margin, hundreds and sometimes thousands of emails stagnating in their in-box. (Sometimes they state proudly that they’ll read an email and then mark it unread so they can read it again. Okay, truth be told, I practiced this crude art of email management for years). Often, the largest portions of their “plate” are the overwhelming number of “mental to-do’s” rattling around in their beautiful heads. Most folks state that this headful of stuff produces great amounts of internal distraction and stress. I read recently where The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that 80% of our medical expenditures are now stress related.

I then ask if they’re trying to stay healthy and they respond yes. “And what’s your approach to staying healthy?” I ask. It always comes down to a few basic principles: nutrition, exercise, and meditation/prayer. Then I ask how many people are productive. Most hands rise. Then I ask what’s their approach to personal productivity. The typical responses are, “I just get it done.” “I use my calendar.” “I prioritize.” “I delegate.” I actually had one guy yell out in a seminar that his approach to productivity was the aforementioned prayer. He said, “I just pray everything works out and nothing falls between the cracks.”

The approach I’ve worked with over the past seven years has changed the way I manage all I need to get done, and I guess when I think about it, it has changed my life. My life—and all I need to accomplish and manage—has flowed much easier and more quickly than with my prior approach, or actually lack thereof. I’d describe my old approach like this; get into work early, eat lunch at my desk, stay late, then go home with a head full of stuff. Get up the next day and do it over, always with an addicting preoccupation to thinking about Friday at 5 o’clock.

The first phase of the approach is to capture and collect anything that shows up that has your attention. These are usually items connected to things you need to get done, to all the incompletions in your life. The best practice here is to collect them in trusted places that you habitually empty on a regular basis.

Next comes the emptying part. Empty? Yes, empty—email in-box at zero or very close; papers and notepads clean and clear and ready for more collecting; a head with nothing in it. I know, you’re thinking that I’m suggesting we’ll all be more productive if we walk around all day with nothing in our head. Exactly. Why? Because then we can focus.

This “emptiness” of your collection buckets comes not from completing everything in them, but rather thinking about them. Bertrand Russell has a great quote, "Most people would rather die than think; [in fact], many do.” And another one I found is, "Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is... why so few engage in it."

People get to empty these by thinking about all the stuff showing up in their daily lives and determining the action they need to take on it, then (and this is key) placing that action into a system they know they are going to see when and where they need to see it. In other words, they trust their system to guide them, to focus. I’ve been told many times that one’s collection points do not support trust. This thinking, what we call processing and organizing, is best done daily, as a part of one’s day. Most people say that it takes time and nothing gets done, and they’re correct, sort of. If you’ve ever painted a room and first removed the lights switch and electrical outlet covers, removed the curtains, pulled the furniture to the middle of the room and covered it with drop cloths you know what I mean. Why do this? No painting gets done. Yes, but when you do begin painting it goes easier and faster. And the quality is usually better. It’s the same with our to-do’s. When we decide the action and place it into a system we trust, we move easier and faster. Period.

The final phase is to plan and prioritize by reviewing your entire system of meaningful objectives, supporting projects, calendar and strategic next actions lists regularly. We must as the world is moving so fast with new opportunities and challenges. A system un-reviewed makes it very hard to prioritize where to focus.

To move fast and easy people realize they need to manage their focus from one place—their calendar. They set boundaries for themselves, no longer allowing interruptions to drive their day. Now I know that sometimes an interruption is exactly what demands your focus, and many times it’s not! You see, if you’ve got what you want to accomplish on your calendar in a very strong “action” form, you’ve created an environment where whatever shows up unexpectedly now has to compete with what you committed to on your calendar. This has strengthened many people’s approach to being productive.

All this is very much common sense for sure, but what I’ve found is that it is not common behavior for the masses. They’re still using their in-box, piles and head full of stuff as their to-do list.

In summary, people and organizations are screaming for more focus, but they are simply not focused on creating focus. For many, a habitual approach to gaining and sustaining focus is not known—so not practiced. They are at the mercy of this wonderful, information and communication flowing world—and the last thing that encourages is focus.

Self-talk: A strong source of internal support

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 21:28:00 +0000

Hey you. Pssst. It’s me. You know we’re not going to get that sales account. And then we’ll not hit our goal. Then it’s probably going to get very dicey at work. And the whole exercise and diet thing isn’t working. And how are we ever going to pay that college tuition next year. And the book, yes, the book, probably never going to get published.

So how many of you have scripts like this playing in your heads? You know that little voice, the one that never stops, and if you’re asking yourself, “What’s he mean about a little voice?”,—that’s the voice I’m talking about! Research suggests that more often that voice is not positive; it’s simply about as supportive as a popsicle stick holding up a elephant.

A principle of jckrbbt is seek support. By this I mean that I’ve found people to be happier and more fulfilling when they have a network they can access immediately when they need to get back into the game of life after a traumatic setback, encouragement to overcome a challenge, or someone to solicit feedback from, or perhaps someone to simply help them celebrate an accomplishment—whether large or small. We can also read books, listen to tapes, or watch videos to gain this support. These are the external sources of support.

The voice in our heads, well, that’s the internal support. And I believe it has the ability to generate greater power than the external support mentioned above. This voice is often rooted in past experience and is very strong and habitual. It may have gained its “personality” from a coach that beat you down, or a family member that constantly made fun of your optimistic outlook on life, or your hair, or whatever. Perhaps it was a boss that looked for everything you did “wrong” versus all the things you did very well. Whatever the ancestry of your inner voice, if you’re like most of us, it usually suggests that you will not succeed at something.

The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius once said, “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinions than our own.” The bottom line is this, we cannot control what others say about us, or to us. Period.

So how might we—myself included—move toward having our inner voice encourage us more consistently and be our #1 fan and advocate? There are three ways that I’ve found to work:

1. BE AWARE – Awareness precedes change and the better we consciously focus on our inner voice, the more likely we can begin to rewrite our scripts.

Pretend like you’re wearing a wire-tap in your psyche and you’re outside in a dark van like a detective monitoring what the voice is saying. This awareness is vital to create the next behavior to practice.

2.    THINK, THEN CHOOSE – As stated above, awareness precedes change.

So when you get to the point of "knowing" that what you're saying to ourself is not likely in our best interest, now comes the courage part. Consider how your inner dialogue is moving you away from your vision. Notice what is does to your physical self - shoulders slumped, brow tightened, hopeless sighs. This is the perfect opportunity to think of someone in your support network that loves you deeply and wants you to succeed. Think of the words they'd say to you if they were there--then say them to yourself.   We cannot control what others say to us, but we can control what we say to ourself. Begin choosing to have a different converstation with yourself.

3. MONITOR RESULTS – When you catch yourself in a negative pattern of self-talk and choose to edit that into a positive and confident message, be sure to watch what happens next. Notice when you get out of bed at 5:00 am to exercise. Notice when you are calm and listen to your clients versus trying to “sell” them. Notice when you smile and hug one of your kids when what they said or did has previously led you to yell at them. The more what you notice what you want, the more your self-talk will be positive. And do that every day and you’ll have a stronger mental habit to be your #1 supporter.

Check out this article from the Mayo Clinic on the health benefits of positive thoughts.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-thinking/SR00009

Be well.
Danny

The Power of Being Still

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 14:33:00 +0000

A principle of jckrbbt is to be still. This art has been practiced and referenced over and over for centuries by many. Being still, I mean really still, also has the effect of helping us physically. Take a look at this interesting article on the health effects of meditation. http://www.buddhanet.net/sangha-metta/medhealth.html

Einstein said: "The monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind."

Thoreau had this thought: "I went to the woods because I wished only to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

Jesus continually used the phrase be still--one of my favorites is when he commanded the sea to be still and peaceful. For me, he was creating silence in a world that does not support silence. How powerful a principle to practice in our world today. Everywhere, people are pulling small electonic squares from their hip holsters like gunslingers all throughout the day. They're logging onto countless websites to shop and chat and surf.

I find I'm much happier, fulfilled and focused when I create space in my day to be still. A good friend of mine who lives in Baltimore recently wrote on the topic of silence. I attach it below for your reading.

Silence

Marcus Charleston

Call it late afternoon or early evening. It’s my favorite time of day. The burnt orange sun casts a fiery light on the ornate brickwork of row homes in Bolton Hill and the abandoned old buildings on Howard Street.

One doesn’t associate silence with the city. There’s always an undercurrent of noise from the blaring siren of a police car or a helicopter circling overhead. Because we’re social animals, more people are probably attracted to the Inner Harbor teeming with tourists or raucous bar crawls through Fells Point and Federal Hill on a weekend. While there can be comfort in a crowd, a winter evening’s walk along the Inner Harbor or sitting alone at the Bond Street Wharf after the crowds are gone, allows for more quiet reflection. It also allows you to view, and appreciate, these surroundings in a new way.

To quote Henry David Thoreau, “I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” Some of my favorite moments in Baltimore are walks through the silent city. A friend of mine advises me to always find time in the day to be still. Sometimes it can best be found when the last of the rush hour traffic has deserted downtown or evening walks through the historic neighborhoods of Mt. Vernon or Bolton Hill.

I’ve always been fascinated seeing places, normally bustling with activity, standing quiet. Such as a theater, after a performance is over, when the stage contains a solitary ghost light casting shadows on the wall. I’ve always found a beauty in the silence. This is especially true of downtown office buildings and city streets when the workday is over. The same can be said for areas on the west side, once the hub of downtown commerce; which has now taken on the haunting appearance of a ghost town.

Painter Edward Hopper captured this sense of isolation and solitude on canvas in his cityscapes. It can also be seen in the black and white photographs of A. Aubrey Bodine. It’s a vision of Baltimore I think few people truly stop to notice or appreciate.

Painter Edward Hopper captured this sense of isolation and solitude on canvas in his cityscapes (www.edwardhopper.info ). It can also be seen in the black and white photographs of A. Aubrey Bodine ( www.baltimoresun.com/.../bal-bodine-pg,0,4112830.photogallery ).
It’s a vision of Baltimore I think few people truly stop to notice or appreciate.

Be still. Be well.
Danny

What's your vision?

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 14:09:00 +0000

Earlier this year I had a great encounter with someone in a seminar I delivered. We had a nice, thoughtful conversation about vision and the proverbial “big picture”. Man, I love these conversations.

Anyhow, a few weeks later I received an email where the person stated, “…made me realize that I’ve gone through too much of life ‘just getting through’. I’m naturally wired to do my job well and be a good dad, but not naturally wired to look into the future to plan/dream or take the time for ‘self-discovery’ for purpose.”

The picture of the railroad tracks in this blog was done by a great photographer, Michael Lawrence (http://www.flickr.com/photos/michael07). I love how the tracks, so solid in the foreground of the picture run off into the mist where their continued direction is unknown. This photo is my screensaver—constantly reminding and prodding me to focus and distill my vision. This focus is vital to being aware of the actions needed to move this vision to reality. Of course, we all need to first develop the vision.

So, what’s your vision? If you add 5 years to your age and imagine (Einstein loved this word) what your life is going to be like—personally and professionally—in the year 2016, what’s coming up for you? A great exercise to make this real is to sit with a blank piece of paper, grab a favorite pen, and begin to write yourself a letter dated August 29, 2016. In the letter, capture very descriptive detail to describe the areas of your life; health, soul, wealth, relationships, career, etc. Then read this letter often and confirm that the projects you are moving toward completion with the actions you are taking will turn this vision into a reality in 2016. Simple in theory, yes?

So, as the kids once again begin to jump on those big, yellow buses and we all get into “back to school” mode, take some time to be still and develop your vision. Without it, we are more driven by our everyday happenings, distractions, email overload and too many meetings.

A favorite quote of mine from the bible is, “Without vision, the people perish.” I’m not sure we’ll actually perish without a strong vision, but many will likely live a life of unfilled dreams. And that just may be a form of “perish”.

Create your vision. Map your actions to the vision. Be happy. Be fulfilled.

Be well.

Danny

seek support

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:12:00 +0000

A principle of jckrbbt is seek support. The definitions of these two words that I use to capture the essence of this principle are as follows. Support means to aid the cause, policy, or interests of. To seek is to inquire for; request.

Man, what a powerful combination when these simple words—and their concepts—are mixed together. This principle of jckrbbt initially came to me through the relationships I created with family and friends early on in life’s journey. It wasn’t until I found myself in a dark, shitty and hopeless state in 1992—firmly out of control—that I realized the vital nature of this principle. As I gaze into life's rearview mirror and see some 19 years ago, I see clearly now what was nowhere in sight for me then. I see that I was surrounded by support—my family, my faith and my friends. They strained in vain to help me, to love me, to guide me…right, to support me.

My only mistake was that I didn’t seek it. Instead I responded to the voice of the victim that raged in my head 24-7,and ran from my support. You may have a similar voice that you hear often, or occasionally. It’s the one that points the blame at everyone else. It’s the one that sees no way out of the dark situation in which we live. It’s the one that turns away all the support that shows up. It’s the one that says life’s not fair. We will all do well to turn a deaf ear to this voice when it shows up, for it provides no hope, and is the enemy of forward, positive momentum.

So , who is your support network? Do they know how much they mean to you? Have you told them “thank-you” lately? If not, you may want to. What are you facing in life that may be easier to overcome if you just seek some support?

There’s a flip side to the principle seek support—it’s called be support. So, to whose support network to you belong too? How are you doing in that role? Anybody out there battling some voices, some unfortunate circumstance and all they really need is for you to show up. To just be there. I often think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane prior to his betrayal, when he asked some of his disciples to come support him as he prayed. They stayed a short distance away and they fell asleep. And according to Matthew, they did this three times. Is there someone who needs you now, and you're asleep?

Hold onto this principle and begin to live it. Be aware, seek and accept the help of others, it makes them very happy. And be aware, and be there for others, it will make you happy.

If you’ve never heard or learned of Albert Schweitzer, take a look at this link;

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1952/schweitzer-bio.html .

He sure got it right when he said,

“I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”

Seek support.

Be support.

Be well.
Danny

the vision of the jckrbbt

noreply@blogger.com (Danny Bader) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 01:19:00 +0000

Years ago I had the idea to begin a small coaching practice—just me, how's that for small? Anyhow, as I contemplated a name for the business I began to research animals to determine what characteristics they had that separated them from the many others. My mission with the business was to help people understand the importance of having visions in their life, and how to develop them. This blog is a breath on the embers of this mission.

As I searched the web for information on animals and dropped the word vision in the search bar, I was presented with many hits. I settled on one and began reading about the jackrabbit. The article stated that the jackrabbit had very good vision because its eyes sit high on its head and far toward the back. This provides the jackrabbit with the ability to see its entire surroundings—front, back, side, and overhead. That was it, I had uncovered my company name and logo. Why? Because it's vital for us to see, to be aware, of our surroundings. It's through this awareness that we can begin to develop vision(s) in the areas of our lives that need them. We can begin to see what it would look like if things were different...relationships stronger, health enhanced, income earned, books written, companies grown, spirituality strengthened and deepened and on and on.

Vision is vital for me because it saved my life. Many years ago I was finally able to develop a vision to "get better" after a pretty bad accident.

So, welcome, and here's to our visions!

Be well
Danny