You surprise her

Every woman on Earth wants to be pampered to some extent. How do I know? I have a mom, 2 sisters, a wife, and 3 ex’s. Trust me … this one’s true. I’ve noticed the local beauty spa is getting a LOT of traffic. The point I am getting to is your effort. It’s not a fun date if she has to think of what you will do.  Plan it. Just by doing that you will become desirable like the beauty spa. They will feel like they can relax and let their mind enter a fantasy mode.

You make the preparation

Whether it’s wrapping tuna sandwiches in wax paper and packing them in a picnic basket or driving to see if the park is open. You need to go through the motions of the date and make sure you take care of any snags before you pick her up. You might paint rocks along a trail that have little messages for her. Or you might even just have a card behind a planter where she can “find” it later. The key is that she senses you went to some effort to prepare for the date. Once we went to the lake at a local community college and I had hidden my guitar behind a boulder. It was pretty funny.

Listen

Folks, I am a type-A personality, I hardly ever shut up. When I finally realized this and started listening more to my girlfriends and later wife, my relationships got so much better. In a free date situation, you can go ahead and be an active listener to your wife or girlfriend. She may have a lot to say or not much at all but the key to good chemistry on the date is for you to shut up. Got it?

Tell her what you love about her

This may fall under the “preparations” area. Don’t go blind into this one. Even if you have to pull a little list out, you’re still okay if you have one. Spend some time thinking about it. The key ingredient to this step is: be genuine. My wife and I work together teaching at the same school so I always have stuff I notice about her. The other day I told her I appreciated the way she was patient with a certain student. I could see she appreciated the compliment because it was about a situation she knew I witnessed and it meant a lot to her.

If you do all these things, your free date will will go well. More importantly, your wife will get pampered and you will have time alone with her where you hear what she has to say. If you have any free date ideas, please share in the comments. Have fun being romantic while you save money!

Most of the worst possible dating scenarios are the type where you have been set up by someone or it’s a blind date of some type. And usually, though awful at the time, they tend to be pretty funny to other people, especially as time goes on.

I can’t think of any terrible dates, though there were plenty of guys trying to pick me up who never made it to that point. And it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, I could profile the typical bad dating experiences and share some helpful advice on how to avoid a bad date.

The Put Yourself in a Bad Situation Date: Most of the time I hear a bad date story, it seems like there is always a few bad dating mistakes made in the first place that automatically put you at risk for something to go wrong. For example, you should NEVER on a first date go to the other person’s house or have them come to yours. You should also not ride in a car together. Before you go on another single date, please read my Dating Safety Tips ebook. It’s free and you can download it instantly. If you do the things in the book, not only will you be safer, but you can probably eliminate about 75% of all miserable dating experiences.

The Egotistical Date: Anytime someone starts saying they’re better than everybody else or starts talking endlessly about themselves or just one interest non stop, it can get pretty boring for the other person. So remember when on a date to avoid talking only about yourself – and if you’re stuck with someone like that try changing the subject or politely tell them that you’d rather talk about something else rather than letting them go on, and on, and on.

The Hygiene Nightmare Date: When you go on a date, there are certain expectations that you would try to look and act your best. If you show up in ratty clothes or in need of a shower, it’s a good chance this isn’t going to impress the person you are seeing. This has little to do with appearances and everything to do with just showing a little effort. If you’re not putting in effort to even try to look nice, it’s going to make the person think you don’t put any effort into anything else. At the very least, take a shower, wear clean clothes, and shave/brush your hair. If your date shows up in need of some hygiene, consider doing an activity like going to the perfume aisle at a local department store or changing activities.

The Critical/Insulting Date: Nobody likes being criticized all the time, but being insulted is just down right terrible. A lot of people complain that their date seemed to put down everything they did or said or even came right out and said insulting things. Granted, it can be hard to know if you said something (or will say something) offensive or not, but at the very least, if your date seems upset about it apologize for your mistake. And if your date says something insulting to you, don’t immediately take it the wrong way because there’s a chance he or she has no idea – just politely explain that it is insensitive. And if it continues, there’s no shame in just picking up and leaving. You came for a date – not to be insulted.

The Blind Date Blind dates can be terrifying, whether you’ve met the person online or are being set up by friends. Here’s the problem with blind dates: you’re forcing yourself into a situation with too many expectations with someone you don’t even know. The word “date” immediately puts a ton of pressure on people almost instantly. Why not at least meet somebody casually first and then decide if a date is a good idea? This helps prevent you having any surprises in meeting someone and there’s no pressure. Good examples: I’ll be volunteering at the library next week, why don’t you come by? It’s not a date, and you’ll know within about 5 minutes whether it’s someone you want to get to know better – and without even worrying about the cost of dinner.

Dating horror stories can be tough to avoid, but some of these tips will definitely help to make it so you have a fun and safe experience more often than a terrifying or uncomfortable situation.

Have any dating horror stories you want to share? Tell us about it in the comments below and help others know what not to do on a date

Here are some ideas for things you can do to celebrate Halloween as a couple:

1. Carve Pumpkins: Pumpkin carving is a great thing to do together and will bring out your inner child. You can either carve your own special pumpkin for your partner and if you have the patience carve out a special phrase and place a gift inside for them. One friend of mine even was proposed to this was – her boyfriend carved out the Words “Will You Marry Me?” in the pumpkin and placed the ring inside.You could also have fun carving the pumpkins together as an activity to do to bring you closer to one another. So there’s lots of creative things you can do with a pumpkin!

2. Play Dress Up: Dressing up for Halloween is another fun thing you can do. Whether your partner has always fantasized about you wearing a French Maid costume or you decide to go to a party together in a couple’s costume, you might as well use the excuse to wear something silly and have some fun together! Don’t forget to check out our Halloween Costumes for Couples!

3. Trick or Treat: You can play a fun game of trick or treat as a spin-off from the classic of truth or dare with each other where your partner decides whether he would like a trick or a treat. A trick will mean that you have to think of something he or she has to do, and a treat is where they can do something nice for you.

4. Visit a Haunted House: There’s nothing like a spooky haunted house that will make you and your partner glad you are with each other! Check your local newspaper or blogs to see what places and events will be going on so you can plan a spooky and fun filled night together.

5. Take a Hay Ride: A hayride is another fun thing you can do together in the fall around Halloween time and many farms and parks will be offering them.

6. Make a Treat Bag: Making a treat bag filled with his or her favorite candy and a few little Halloween trinkets is another idea. This is a great way to show you are thinking of him and her and give your partner his or her favorite candies even if you are both too old for trick or treating.

7. Watch a Scary Movie Together: Halloween is a great time to watch a spooky or scary movie together. There are all kinds of horror movies to watch that can give you both a great excuse to snuggle up together in front of the tv.

8. Go to a Fall Festival: October is a great time for fall festivals. Check your local paper for different activities in your area. You might be able to watch fresh apple cider being pressed or even check out a few craft fairs together. Sound like something just for girls? My husband loves the different festivals that have blacksmiths, tractors, and those other “manly things”.

9. Take a Moonlit Walk: There is something very eerie and romantic at the same time of taking a moonlit walk together in October. A big bright moon and clouds can be the perfect atmosphere for a romantic stroll together!

See? There are all kinds of things you can do for Halloween together, even if it is a spooky holiday. Do you have any other great romantic Halloween ideas? Share them in the comments section below!

One of the hardest things couples with kids struggle with is finding childcare for their children so they can spend some quality “adult” time with one another.  While we all love our children immensely, they can make it difficult for you and your partner to carry on a meaningful conversation, let alone have a romantic evening.

The problem is, we don’t put enough value on why we should get a babysitter when we need one. Do your partner and you dance together to the Imagination Movers or some other kids TV show song instead of the love songs you like? Is your idea of romance a picture you colored with crayons? A romantic game of patty-cake? While I think these are all great, it’s definitely a sign you need some true adult time also.

If you’re one of the many couples who are concerned about saving money and don’t think a date night is worth the cost or important: think about what else you might lose beyond a few dollars for going on a date.

Without date night, you and your partner may go weeks without talking about more than the usual “time to put the kids to bed” and “have you seen the baby’s cup” and “where you going tomorrow?” Without date night there’s no way for the two of you to connect emotionally or getting closer to each other. Without date night, you might actually end up drifting apart as you may come absorbed in other activities that make it difficult for you to grow as a couple.

Having a date night does not mean – and should not mean – that you get set up in a boring routine of “a movie and dinner”. Because while it will be fun if you do it once in awhile, you’ll find after awhile of doing it repeatedly over and over again without change or variety you may end up getting annoyed or bored with it.

A date night also doesn’t need to be expensive or traditional in any sense of the means. Today we were lucky enough for me and my husband to get away with the kids for a little while. Did we do anything wild and crazy? Well, we decided to go on a 40 minute road trip to a nearby used sporting goods store and sell some of our stuff that we didn’t have any use for.  Afterward, we stopped at a sandwich and coffee shop where we had a great lunch and we could actually talk to each other while eating. Is the is a “hot date”? Of course not. But my husband and I got to spend a whole four to five hours together to do nothing but just talk and hang out.

The prize they are giving away in the sweepstakes is pretty exciting – a whole year of childcare, which they are awarding in a cash equivalent of around $12,000. What could you and your partner do if you had a whole year of free childcare? Or $12,000?

If you want to enter, just click on the link below and register.

Win a Free Year of Child Care when you Register with Care.com!

The contest runs until October 9th, 2009 – Absolutely no purchase is necessary (though you might want to consider hiring a sitter if you don’t already have one!) – all you need to do is give them the usual basic contact info so if you win they can notify you of your prize! Be sure you also read the rules and regulations for the full details and ensure eligibility.

Note: ItMightBeLove is not responsible or associated with this contest – just wanted to pass on to my readers of a good opportunity for you date night!

I love coming here to this blog because I get free love relationship advice. Chelle has a keen gift for writing and assembling helpful relationship tips. I enjoy guest blogging here as well because I get to share a relationship tip or two. Now don’t think I am trying to say I have all the answers, far from it. I need to read a few thousand books and blogs before I get a grip on how to be a better husband. The thing that makes me successful, I think, is that I never give up trying. This post is a tip that really works to increase my wife’s happiness and self esteem. I know because I see it in the results after I do it. Perhaps it can save you some relationship trouble Guys, listen up!

Ok, so the title gave it away somewhat, I am suggesting that you mention your wife to the table when out to dinner or otherwise at a dinner party. Here’s an example: Couple one at a game table is discussing how they just hired someone to make them business cards and they came out terrible. You mention your wife (imagine she is into photoshop) and how she does business cards above any you’ve ever seen. Sound like overly simplistic love relationship advice? I don’t think so.  This one really sends a positive message to your wife and lets her know she is important to you.

Does the dinner mention sound difficult? It isn’t. It’s simple to do and it’s benefit to your relationship is huge. I know this because I’ve tested it over and over. If you are a cynical person, you might be saying: “Well, after a few mentions she will know you are doing it on purpose.” All I can say in response to that is I have done MANY of these randomly and my wife doesn’t seem to suspect yet. Even is she did suspect, I don’t think she’d ask me to stop. I mean, who is bothered by a compliment? No one, we love it! It’s human nature guys.

Oh, and for you ladies out there reading, this works for your husbands as well. Try it.  Building your spouse’s self esteem and maintaining it as much as you can is the most valuable action in your relationship. You have the power to avoid relationship trouble. Now go and do your love homework!

Photo Credit