It'll come to me

Since I've been away

2013-02-23T10:47:00.001-08:00

I know that I have been gone for a long time. My entire life has changed. So let's take it from the top.

After I moved out of the home I once shared with ol' Grrouchie I spent three months at my family home. It was such a wonderful time for us to get close. It reminded me that there is nothing more important than family.

In July of last year, I began dating a new fellow that I met at work. What we thought was a summer fling blossomed into the most wonderful friendship of my life. Then into a whirlwind romance.

In Janurary after six years with Lowe's I left. An absolutely frightening situation but necessary. You see my love and I worked together. Our employer doesn't allow married couples work in the same building. Marriage being our ultimate goal one of us would have to leave. Well the day after leaving Lowe's, we married. I am now proudly, Mrs. Carmel Miller.

Feburary has been amazing. We celebrated my birthday with some real style earlier this month. Dinner at top of the Effiel Tower Las Vegas. A stay at the Artisan Hotel. My new husband gave me the most amazing fox furs. I also got a new car and various taxidermy alligator parts.

So what now? Well I am no longer working. We are in a financial position that allows me to go back to school full time. The plan is for me to finish my degree. We will then pay off the house in which we live. In a few years move out of state. We both want to travel before having kids.

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now enjoy some photos of the last fee months

It's Okay Tuesday

2012-09-18T18:59:00.001-07:00

Hey, it's okay Tuesday. Linking up to Whispering Writer. Here we go

It's okay that I got blamed for something at work that I didn't do. Later on in the day I proved my innocence. Vindicated bitches!

It's okay that I haven't really packed for my move out of the house this week. My friends (Grrouchie) have offered to help me.

It's okay that I'm a bag of mixed emotions about leaving the house. I'm sad, excited, fearful, grateful, hopeful and maybe a little bit smarter.

It's okay that I have a headache and toothache. In a few hours I will be drinking gin and tonic while playing videogames with my sweet. He's also agreed to let me bring my dogs over for the the sleepover.

It's okay that I have been eating a bunch of garbage the last few weeks. Soon I will be eating home cooked meals every day. My family is full of wonderful cooks not including myself.

Tomorrow is my dear Sister's birthday we will be celebrating at a Brazilian steakhouse. My Pop told me that I couldn't bring my sweet, family only. It's okay since he works late anyway. He is buying her flowers. I'm touched that Grrouchie remembered and was kind enough to remind me. What a guy :)

Most of all my dogs' kisses make me feel that everything will be okay.

On the Road Again

2012-09-14T01:44:00.001-07:00

I'm off to San Diego with my sweet. My nerves are acting up for various reason mainly I'm leaving my dogs in Grrouchie's care for the weekend. Which I can't thank him enough for. I trust him most of all but I hate leaving my baby.

This getaway is much needed by both of us. With all the nonsense at work lately anytime spent away from there is welcomed. Sadly my sweet needs this trip most. His father passed away on Sunday. We got the phone call while we were at the Planet Hollywood watching the Evil Dead musical in 4D. That's a blog post all on its own.

I asked new beau for permission to use his name and image on my slice of the internet. Long story short he gave me some bullshit about "whatever you think is best darling". I hate that crap. Over the next few days I'll feel it out then post accordingly.

One last thing, last night he did my nails! Now before you go on thinking he's some kind of Picasso with nail polish, these are nail polish strips that you stick on. Fancy stickers that last up to two weeks. Still he did a great job.

Okay okay one last thing. I'm letting my hair grow for some weddings I will be in. None of which are my own. Look see, I got good hair.

Love you all queerly.

In love

2012-09-07T17:25:00.001-07:00

I just fell in love with Waffles. You know why :)

Waking after midnight

2012-09-05T00:55:00.001-07:00

It's past midnight on Wednesday morning. Work starts in less than four hours. Why in the world am I awake? My body hates me. To pass the time I called my beau who's on his way over to entertain me. Yeah that's what I call it.

Work lately has been overwhelming at very best. If you had walked into my office last week you would've found a sobbing shaking Carmel. These days there aren't many things that get under my skin but feeling totally incapable/inadequate is more than I can handle. This week I swallowed my pride marched into the boss's office and asked for help. Hopefully things start to ease up a bit.

The trip to Big Bear was fantastic. The weather alone made the trip out of Las Vegas worthwhile. Here's a few pictures of my lovely family. Oh and checkout the other worldly sunset taken on the way back to Lost Wages.

Yesterday being Labor day all you folks with good jobs got an extra day off. Although I worked the day brought an added bonus for me, family dinner! It's a rarity that we all get together since the opening of the resturant which is going splendidly. To say that my family is amazing is an understatement. The are fucking amazing!

We were all together. I brought new beau along. He got to see us all on action for the first time. I could do entire post about the shenanigans alone. New beau was warmly accepted to both of our surprise. Actually they said he's their favorite so far! Sorry Grrouchie, you're still my favorite :)

It's now nearing 1am. I'll try to salvage some of this night with more sleep.

Love you all queerly!

Going to California in a big jet plane...well actually in a Kia soccer Mom car.

2012-09-02T07:35:00.001-07:00

Currently I am in California. Be jealous!!

Proof of Life

2012-09-01T18:52:00.001-07:00

I'm alive and kicking. It has been a amazing whirlwind month.

As I type this I'm on my way to Big Bear lake in California. Upon my return it's off to the Grand Canyon with my new beau and a couple of Germans I've never met.

Here's a peek into what I have been doing rather than blogging.

Love you all queerly.

P.S.

Lightning I emailed you my cellphone number.

Waffles my sweet I emailed you my boobs!

Walk of shame

2012-08-08T05:45:00.001-07:00

Guess who's pants just ripped...at work...they're not wearing underpants...yup. Walk of shame if ever there was one. Sacre Bleu!

Going home to change. Then to Walmart to get underpants.

Girly stuff

2012-08-01T21:38:00.001-07:00

*Squeal* I'm excited!!! I have a date on Friday with a guy I really really like.

This might sound slutty but whatever you're not my mama you can't tell me what to do, I digress, I got a kiss from another boy.

Finally a third gentleman not a boy has come into my life. You may know him as Coach, from the bathing suit hill :) He's staying in my crib for a while until he finds a place to call his own. My dogs and roommate give him the stamp of approval.

Coach when you read this, thanks for the honey and coffee. In repayment I have veered from my bachelor lifestyle to cook you some food.

Update on my date this weekend...wonder if he'll kiss me :)

New level of awesome.

2012-07-24T05:32:00.001-07:00

Woke up this morning with no voice. This is what happens when you chain smoke half a pack of cigarettes in three hours.

A coworker asked me what happened. I wrote on a sheet of paper "too many blow jobs."

Thinking about it, I've reached a new level of awesome. Damn near perfect. I can be obscene but not heard!

May you all have a great hair day. Love you all queerly.

Waffles-esque post. After the wedding. Josie the stripper

2012-07-21T01:27:00.001-07:00

Went to my brother's wedding met him wife for first time ever. Got in a fight with him. Gave her my water. She owes me $2.50 for that.

Went to a resturant for the reception. Sat outside and chain smoked.

My friend came to pick me up. We were driving home. Ended up at a strip club with $200 in singles.

The guy at the door in the suit didn't want to let us in because we needed a male escort. We asked why. Apparently most single women that go there are either 1. Hookers 2. Looking for their man 3. Potential competition for the strippers. We were none of those so he let us in "this one time."

Met a stripper named Josie (not even making that up). She said I was cute then let me feel up her boobs. Touched her nipple. When her shift ended she wanted to hangout with us and bitch about her boyfriend. I liked her lots. She said we looked like fremont hookers. I want to marry her.

Now its time to eat McDONALD'S and masturbate. My life is cool.

2012-07-20T21:03:00.001-07:00

My brother just got married. To a girl whom we all just met. He told me two weeks ago everyone else three weeks ago. I smell something rotten.

Update and shit.

2012-07-17T06:13:00.001-07:00

Holy Cow, it's time for an update.

I'm working to much. It's starting to wear me down but I'm determined to keep it up until the end of the year.

This shit is going international! I'm planning a trip before the end of the year to Mexico. Going to Juarez with my family in November. I'll also be going to another part of Mexico to visit where my Mother is laid to rest. This should be very interesting since my Spanish closely resembles shit. I'll be alone during the longest trip. Anyone want to watch my dogs?

This coming Saturday a new buddy of mine invited me to a party in a suite at the Lake Las Vegas resort. His musical group will be shooting a video then having a project x style celebration after. He wants me in the video!

In other news I'm dating a young man. He's unlike anyone else I've ever dated. First of all he's not white. Secondly he's not older than me. In fact he's four years younger than I ! This doesn't need stating but I'll say it anyway. He's not my boyfriend. There's not potential for a relationship. He's really fun, young and attractive. Life hasn't bitch slapped him yet so he's still sweet and ambitious. Poor fool :)

On the topic of men. They must not realize how many times a day a girl gets hit on. Just say hello that'll get you further. Since most of you reading this are married dudes it doesn't matter.

I'll be working a double today. Working 5am to 2pm at first job, start at 4 pm and off at 11:30pm at the part time. Home by 12:30am up at 3am to be at work at 4am on Wednesday. Needless to say I'm going to miserable and cranky. You won't like me when I'm cranky :) Thursday will be the next day I'll be functional.

Love you all queerly!!

Crazy things my friends say.

2012-07-12T07:17:00.001-07:00

Some weeks back I had a Twitter conversation with JT88keys, wherein he mentioned shaving his head. I responded with some bad cancer patient joke. To which he replied, he'd never be mistaken for having cancer because he's got some meat on his bones.

Ok ok I know I'm an asshole for making cancer jokes. They're tasteless, as am I. Both my parents and older brother have had cancer. It's terrible and frightening, therefore I must make jokes.

Back to my conversation with JT, it reminded me of another interaction from a few years back. Without further ado here is, crazy stuff my friends say.

I met Adrian while I was still in high school he was a mentor for our Hispanic Student Union and close friend to the group advisor. Adrian remained in my lige through mutual friends and involvement in various organizations such as lulac.

He was the child of Mexican immigrants, grew up here in Las Vegas. An alumni of my high school and college. He became a successful lawyer with his own firm. Later in his career he became an immigration attorney for Catholic Charities. Seriously what a great guy.

One day I saw Adrian shopping at my work. He looked good! You see he had previously been fat. By the looks of it he had lost at least 100lbs and shaved his head to.

"Adrian its so good to see you! Wow you look amazing! You lost so much weight!"

"Hi girl, yes, I did. Cancer will do that to you. Lost all my hair to." He said with a twinkle in his eye and a warm smile on his face.

Turns out he had been fighting cancer for some time at that point. Losing a lot of weight in the process. He was in remission when we met this day. In celebration of his better health he told me he would be running his first half marathon. He did in fact run several.

The cancer did return. He was actively being treated when he caught the flu which turned to pneumonia. Weeks passed we followed his Facebook updates about the flu not getting better. Finally he made the trip to the hospital. Sadly he passed away from complications.

He was a true champion for the dispossessed. His loss is still felt by all who knew him. He continues to inspire us. Since he wouldn't want this to end on a sad note I'll share my favorite photos of him.

For Waffles.

2012-07-11T10:08:00.001-07:00

This is to help Waffles in his search for enlightenment or therapy or whatever.

Can't nobody hold me down

2012-07-08T21:59:00.001-07:00

Oh no, we go to keep on moving! That's my shit! I'm back. Fully rested and never animal tested! I'm feeling tons better.

There aren't words to express my gratitude for your concern and kindness. I'll give you a simple, thank you.

Tomorrow is a big day for me. If it goes well I'll tell you about it. If it doesn't then it will be promptly erased from my memory.

2012-07-08T20:38:00.001-07:00

Why in the hell is everything so damn expensive? I went to Walmart bought 16 things, $71! Granted I don't use the least expensive products but still, ugh! Being a grown-up sucks :)

P.S. Hello

2012-07-02T10:12:00.001-07:00

Go read the previous post.

It's not good bye. It's a see you again, soon.

2012-07-01T19:25:00.001-07:00

Some very unpleasant things happened to me last night. They have prompted me to examine my life. I'll be back soonish.

* When I wrote this I was upset. Not in a mood to communicate. I have no issues with being honest. Here's the story.

On Saturday night a group of coworkers gathered at a local bar to celebrate a birthday.

Much fun was had. Many drinks were consumed in a 5 hour period. We all left at 5am ish when the sun was peeking over the mountains.

A former co-worker asked me to give him a ride because it was on my way home. When we arrived at his house he asked me if I wanted to come inside. I declined. He leaned over to hug and kiss me. To which I didn't protest since he's a good looking guy. Who I mistakenly believed to be decent.

We kissed for a few minutes. It was fun. Then without my permission or noticed reached into my pants. This I wasn't comfortable with. I grabbed his hand and pushed it away, telling him to stop. Over and over. He did not in fact stop. He pushed back harder against me. In the process hurting me physically and making me feel violated.

He continued to try to kiss me. I no longer allowed him to touch me. He then tried to get me to come inside. For what seemed a life time he wouldn't leave my car. I kept repeating myself, " Get out of my car and don't touch me. You need to leave." He finally did.

After 5 or so hours of drinking and festivities with my friends I wasn't thinking all that clearly. I'm sure I could have handled the situation better.

In closing, I feel betrayed and embarrassed. We worked together for some time, forming what I thought were warm feelings for each other as comrades through the perils of retail.

For the time being I don't want to be friendly outgoing or anything else. I want to shrink away from the world. It could have been much worse, for that I'm glad. I'll be fine, so don't cry for me Argentina.

I'll be back, scout's honor.

Internet weirdos.

2012-06-28T21:09:00.001-07:00

I want to tell you about my night with Lightning. I do soo badly. Yet I'm not feeling creative at all just worn out.

We did have a delightful dinner. Then I took him to the swingers club. For the first time, there was worry and reluctance on his face. Pure awesome!

Before any rumors start, we DID NOT go inside. Mainly I wanted a photo to make him look cooler than he is. Believe me though he's a hip cat.

Speaking of internet weirdos, tomorrow I will meet another. She's a nice lady whom I played Farmville with. Yeah, I said Farmville, what of it?

She's a very talented jewelry maker. This last Christmas I purchased a few pieces for a friend. She loved them and wears them almost daily. Stephanie even sent me a gift AND a nice little card for myself and Grrouchie. What a sweetheart. Check out her store.

Off topic, the highlight of my day was when my friend asked me to punch him as hard as I could in the stomach.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/BeadCoutureBySteph

Behind the Green Door.

2012-06-27T01:23:00.001-07:00

I need sleep, immediately. I'll leave you all with this. Night Turkey

Decisions decisions...

2012-06-26T01:05:00.001-07:00

Hello ghouls and dolls!

Today I got a call from the Palms for a job. Considering that position would mean basically living in my car.There will be no time for sleep. It's so far from where I'll be living, damn it. If only the money weren't good.

My plans are leaning towards only one job and focusing on helping my family at the resturant. They wouldn't pay me or anything. It's just about showing my gratitude for putting up with me during the teenage years.

Another item under consideration, time and money allowing is becoming a notary. It's rather simple. The prerequisites include being a citizen, a resident of Nevada, no felony convictions and being honest. Check, check, check and check (mostly).

That would give me a legitimate reason to hangout at the office other than pizza. It's also an easy way to make money.

At this time all I know is, I'm tired.

Josie, I wish we could've had time to socialize. It was wonderful meeting you. God willing, in December we can finally fondle each other properly. You a such a doll.

Lightning, I am off tomorrow at 2pm. Would you like to have dinner?

Troy and Precious, you can't read or write or even speak but if you see this I miss you mutts. Friday we will frolic in the park. Play your cards right you'll get to eat cat poo.

Serge, what the fuck is going on with the house? BTW you need to wash behind your ears. Get those hairs in there while you're at it. Maybe Claudia can will help you.

A big part of me is looking forward to work. I actually missedit. Ok, I missed my friends. There's also the knowledge the longer I'm away the more crap there will be to clean up upon returning.

Look at Other Dad in his Menudazo shirt. This was Father's Day he's so silly. When I told him about the spider crawling up my leg he says, " Well sure it wanted to get in your pants. It knew you're a virgin."

The resturant is doing awesome. The Mexican Menudo from which the joint's name comes from takes 6-7 hours to cook. Therefore has to be made the day before. Saturday they made a batch of 200 serving. Sunday they sold out! Not bad for only three weeks and no advertising.

I must bid you all adieu. A certain black dog who likes to bite a certain ex's penis keeps pushing his toy onto my feet.

Lightning is a sneaky rat bastard

2012-06-24T08:21:00.001-07:00

This guy is a professional interrigation-ist. No, I don't give a hoot or a holler if that's not a word, I just made. English is a living language, ever changing ever evolving. You're not my mama, you can't tell me what words I can or can't say! Phew! Glad we settled that.

There's is something about this guy that breaks down your wall forcing honesty. Also I love to talk and talk and talk. That rat bastard almost made me cry by asking all the tough questions. He got me a bit buzzed to! Unfortunately he did not try to take advantage of me, balls.

All joking aside he was a lovely man. It was heaps and heaps of fun meeting some of you internet weirdos. Good luck out there. Make lots of money and buy me booze!

Tuesdays

2012-06-21T17:16:00.001-07:00

Tuesday at the office with my family, equals pizza. I'm working on the Fathers Day post. I'm looking for Lightning!

Crazy Things My Friends Say

2012-06-21T16:37:00.001-07:00

The next installment of Crazy Things My Friends Say is more like a typical encounter with my dear friend Ted, who is the same type of lovable as Oscar the Grouch. He's in his mid 50s ex-Navy. I have lovingly nicknamed him, Theo-dorable. Get it? Theodore, adorable? Play on words...oh forget it.

This takes place in the breakroom at work where I am comparing children to dogs. I was commenting on the matter that both creatures feed off of your energy.

Me: Ted, why the fuck are you looking at ME like that for??

Ted: My eyes needed somewhere to rest. That is just where they landed.

Me: You mean they were resting on me because I'm so pretty and delightful to look at.

Ted: Actually I was just looking for the biggest horse-ass. Since there's no mirror that's you.

But really guys we really do like each other very very much.