It's Always Sunny in Detroit

Kate Upton staring contest

2012-02-24T15:02:00.000-05:00

The mission of a staring contest is to stare your opponent in the eye and not be the first to blink. After challenging Miss Kate Upton to a many staring contests via YouTube, I'm 0-16. But of those sixteen losses, the vast majority have been moral victories. In sports, I have always been one to say that moral victories are for losers. But my goodness, I'll take a moral victory any day and twice on Tuesday in this staring contest. Let me know if you have better luck.

Fox Sports' Laura McKeeman: The Next Hot Sports Reporter

2012-02-24T12:02:00.000-05:00

Fox Sports' Laura McKeeman is already a hot sports reporter, but she's putting in the work and waiting in the wings to be THE next hot sports reporter. She current works for Fox Sports Interactive and Fox Sports Florida. Her current official title is Southeast Recruiting Reporter, but she dabbles with Tampa Bay Rays broadcasts with pre and post game shows and in-game spots.

She's got the pedigree of another reporter who has knocked male sports fans on their collective heels - Erin Andrews. Like EA, she's a University of Florida grad and a member of Zeta Tau Alpha. It's only a matter of time until "throwing it down to the sidelines" to Laura McKeeman becomes a national phenomenon.

A quick Facebook search reveals that Miss McKeeman is a fan of Wedding Crashers (nice), Nacho Libre (eh) and Nelly, Drake and Lil Wayne. A further look tells us that she's dating some dude named Josh Rutledge who plays in the Colorado Rockies system (lame).

ESPN mobile fail

2012-02-24T11:02:00.000-05:00

Can you pick out the fail here?

And what about here?

Listing former Michigan State quarterback Kirk Cousins as the former Michigan quarterback once is rotten, but barely excusable. Listing Kirk Cousins Michigan State quarterback Kirk Cousins as the former Michigan quarterback twice is downright reprehensible.

Propers to IASID fan Colleen

The best Jeremy Lin jersey you'll ever see

2012-02-24T08:02:00.000-05:00

This Knicks fan didn't have the coin to spend $42,388 on the Jeremy Lin jersey that was auctioned off for charity (the package also included four tickets to the Knicks-Hawks game a J-Lin meet and greet). And apparently Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony doesn't tickle his fancy anymore.

So, instead of going online or even hitting the NYC streets for a Jeremy Lin replica jersey, he made his own. And boy, should he be proud of it.

Propers to IASID fan, Erik

Video: Lamar hoops coach Pat Knight rips his seniors

2012-02-23T22:35:00.001-05:00

I want a show of hands of who knew Pat Knight was the men's head basketball coach at Lamar before reading the title. Knight, the son of legendary Indiana University coach and current ESPN analyst Bobby Knight, hasn't fallen far from the tree and I don't say that because he adores sweaters. He's a jerk.

Don't get me wrong, father Bobby was one of the best coaches ever to walk a hardwood sideline. But, son Pat is nowhere close. After four-plus years at Texas Tech and 25 games this season at Lamar, he holds a 66-70 overall record as a head coach. That alone should give him no barring to spout off about his current seniors the way he did tonight after a loss to Stephen F. Austin.

One of Knight’s players was addressing the media when Knight pulled the plug on the interview by telling the player, “Alright, let’s go. You don’t have a clue about what it takes to win. Let’s go.” And then he took over - ripping his seniors on everything from their poor attitude to their school work to their drug use.

<a href='http://www.foxsportshouston.com/pages/video?videoid=8fb41e94-73ab-49f5-9971-d8179c815708&src=FLPl:embed::uuids' target='_new' title='Harsh love' >Video: Harsh love</a>

Pat, rip a kid for his drug use all you want. That's fair. But when your personal record as a head coach is under .500, maybe you don't need to be talking about another man's cluelessness about what it takes to win.

Justin Verlander's Fastball Flakes

2012-02-23T12:02:00.000-05:00

We found out on Late Night with Conan O'Brien that American League MVP and Cy Young winner Justin Verlander's secret to success isn't eating Wheaties every morning. Instead, he smashes Taco Bell for dinner the night before every start. That routine enabled him to post a 24-5 record with 250 strikeouts in 2011. But now, JV will have his own version of Wheaties to start his day off right.

PLB Sports, a Pittsburgh-based company that produces athlete-endorsed products for charitable efforts, has come out with Justin Verlander's Fastball Flakes.

If you think Verlander's great arm action, leg drive and impeccable mechanics are what will help him improve on 2011, you're wrong. It'll be Fastball Flakes for lunch and Taco Bell for dinner. If he ever figures out the lunch thing, look out baseball.

Former Major Leaguer, Elijah Dukes, arrested for trying to eat marijuana

2012-02-23T10:56:00.000-05:00

Troubled former Major League outfielder Elijah Dukes was arrested early Thursday morning in the Tampa, Florida area after he tried to eat a bag of marijuana. Dukes' 2011 Chevrolet Camaro was pulled over for a traffic violation. According to the Tampa Bay Times:

Police said after the pulled Dukes over, they noticed a small bag of marijuana on his lap. He then tried to dispose of the marijuana by sticking it in his mouth as if he was going to ingest it.

After police removed the bag from his mouth and took Dukes into custody, they noticed a marijuana blunt "resting on his right ear," according to the police report.

Dukes faces charges of tampering with physical evidence, possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a cancelled, suspended or revoked license.

His bail was set at $4,750.

Dukes has been arrested five times in the past year, mostly on charges of driving with a suspended, cancelled or revoked license. In the past, he's also been accused of hitting his girlfriend and arrested for not paying child support.

In 2010, he owed three women a total of $143,000 in child support and alimony.

Dukes had played most recently for the Nationals. Currently, he is not winning.

Capitals center Mathieu Perreault scores with his face

2012-02-23T09:11:00.001-05:00

One of the tougher things a hockey player might be asked to do is to stand in front of the opposing goalie to block his vision. Few guys have the intestinal fortitude to take the random slashes to the backs of their legs meanwhile trying to deflect 90+ miles per hour slap shots headed in their direction.

In Tuesday's game against the Ottawa Senators, Washington Capitals center Mathieu Perreault was crashing the net hoping to get a piece of a shot from teammate Jason Chimera. He succeeded in his mission. As Chimera spun back after heading to the corner, he sent the puck on net. After hitting a Senator and teammate John Carlson in front, it ricocheted off Perreault's face passed Senators goalie Craig Anderson. Perreault was credited with his tenth goal of the season, the first coming off his face. Here's the video:

After the game, Perreault told the Washington Times that the puck actually hit him in the tongue:

"My tongue was out, so it bounced off my tongue and in the net," Perreault said. "These things happen when you go to the net. Not the way you want to get goals, but he hit me in the face and it went in."

Perreault stayed in the game, but was unable to taste victory as the Senators still won the game 5-2.

Picture propers to the Washington Post

Chinese Basketball Association All Star game lowlights

2012-02-23T09:02:00.000-05:00

Ladies, we have found a worse all star game than the NFL Pro Bowl. It's just a shame that we had to go to a different continent to find it. The Chinese Basketball Association, which has become a feasible alternative to players who have been passed up by NBA teams, now houses former NBA all star Stephon Marbury and the NBA's 2010 Most Improved Player Aaron Brooks.

Of course, these two were chosen for the CBA all star festivities. And yes, they're part of this clip that skipped the theatre and has gone right to sports follies DVDs. It's actually a pretty exciting game of hot potato. Get out your abacus and be ready to count the terrible passes. And some of us complain about the quality of an NBA game...

Propers to Ball Don't Lie

Jeremy Lin is renting a $2.3 million condo in NYC's Financial District

2012-02-22T21:59:00.002-05:00

Before Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin became a living legend, he was sleeping on his brother's couch. Sixteen days, ten games, 246 points and 92 assists later, he calls a swanky $2.3 million condominium in New York's City's Financial District home. According to Business Insider via Curbed, Lin is paying $3,800 a month in rent for the 1,182 square-foot living space.

The condo had been on the market for $2.315 million before the owner decided to rent it to Lin. If you're wondering how the new crib compares to an old couch, here you go...

The entrance

Lin's bedroom

The bathroom

The living room

Theatre room

A massage parlor? Save the racist jokes for ESPN, please

And finally, some fairly decent views...

Picture propers to Business Insider

Nike releases 2012 Team USA basketball logo and uniform

2012-02-22T14:02:00.000-05:00

Nike introduced the 2012 Team USA basketball uniforms at their headquarters in Oregon on Tuesday. And in one word, I'll describe them with a "yuck".

According to Fourth Place Medal, the Nike pumped up the unis by hyping the lightness of the fabric and it's composition. The material is made from 96 percent recycled polyester and weighs only five ounces. Granted, I couldn't tell you how heavy five ounces is. The weight of an undershirt? I don't know. Either way, the weight of the digs don't matter to anyone else except the 25 or so players (men's and women's teams) that will be wearing them.

We, the people, get the much lesser aspect of the uniforms - the visual. Had Nike made these for a more mountainous nation, like maybe Switzerland, these would fly. If Team Egypt asked Nike to mimic their pyramids for a uniforms, they would be spot on. I'm not sure what their target was If they were going for ugly, they were dead nuts.

Remember that when the Olympics come around and the the crowd at your viewing venue starts chanting for the Americans, you better stress that "S". U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! It's what Nike would want, apparently.

Robert Griffin III's first Adidas commercial

2012-02-22T09:02:00.000-05:00

Robert Griffin III put Baylor University football on the map. He brought home the Heisman Trophy in late December and is on the fast track to becoming an NFL franchise quarterback. And with his new contract with Adidas, he's going to look good doing it.

RGIII signed recently signed a deal with Adidas and already has his first commercial under his belt. It's a good one, too. The advertisement shows Griffin working out with a voiceover of his Heisman acceptance speech. Per Griffin's deal, he'll be wearing a pair of flashy gold adizero 5-Star shoes at the NFL Combine next week which starts on Saturday.

And as seen in the picture, RGIII is all about sporting crazy socks. Remember, he wore Superman socks under his suit at the Heisman presentation. Griffin's footwear will be the talk of Indianapolis when quarterbacks start their testing on Sunday.

Tim Tebow reads Dr. Seuss

2012-02-21T16:45:00.002-05:00

Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow is a man of many talents. He runs over 250 pound linebackers like it's his job (it is). He has used his foundation to raise funds for the less fortunate overseas and cancer patients in Gainesville, Florida. He's the ultimate object of affection for some women. To some, he walks on water.

And would you believe it that he can read? Here's a clip of Tebow reading Dr. Seuss. The guy may not be the next Joe Montana (or even Scott Mitchell) on the football field, but he can read a mean children's book. The guy can rhyme like no other. If football doesn't work out, I see a nice career as a librarian developing.

Propers to reader tt44mag

Nine minutes of Niklas Kronwall hits

2012-02-21T12:02:00.000-05:00

Detroit Red Wings defenseman Niklas Kronwall is only 6'0", 190 pounds, but he might as well be the size of a ten car freight train with the oomph he brings when destroying opponents. The Swede has made a living forcing opponents to skate with their heads up when he's on the ice. And when they don't, he'll introduce them to the Joe Louis Arena ice in a hurry. But the greeting isn't always so courteous.

Usually you hear "heads up" when an errant object is flying toward a group of people. Kronwall is that errant object and he's not afraid to knock your block off. "Kron" in Swedish translates to "chronic" in English. When a Red Wings opponent collides with the wall of Kron, they're guaranteed some chronic pain. Here are Kronwall's top 10 hits according to ESPN. Just a precaution, you might want to pop some pain pills now. And odds are, you'll need an ice pack after watching.

Timberwolves Martell Webster's boneheaded math error

2012-02-21T08:22:00.000-05:00

Background: In Monday's Timberwolves-Nuggets game, the Nuggets were up 102-99, inbounding the ball along the sideline with 4.9 seconds left in the game. Timberwolves forward Martell Webster picked off the pass giving the Wolves a chance to tie the game with a three. I repeat, there were 4.9 seconds left in the game when he picked off the pass. The Wolves were down three.

So naturally, you'd think Webster, who has averaged over one three-pointer per game in his six-plus year NBA career, would pull up to tie the game. No? Maybe he'd kick it to a teammate who'd line up a three ball. No? Maybe he'll just take it right to the rack to put his team down one with under a second to go. Oye.

I'd love to know what was going through Webster's mind...both last night as he took the ball to the hole and when he sat down in his barber's chair.

Barkley gets spa treatment

2012-02-21T08:02:00.000-05:00

Charles Barkley is a bad man, right? The former "Round Mound of Rebound" turned bad-mutha NBA analyst is all about telling it how it is. He's a straight shooter who won't take guff from anyone. And that includes his stylist as he gets a mani-pedi to celebrate his 49th-birthday on Monday's pregame show on TNT.

Propers to Mock Session

Urban Meyer's Gainesville is home up for sale

2012-02-20T22:20:00.001-05:00

With Urban Meyer securely entrenched in Columbus, Ohio as the Ohio $tate head football coach (until he decides he wants to "retire" again), he really doesn't have a need for his former Gainesville, Florida home.

It's a home built for a Florida Gators fan who has a spare $1.7 million in his pocket. Who else would want to live in tropical storm territory amid constant humidity and snakes in your backyard (and that's after Urban left).

The stats on the house include: 6,719 square feet on 1.99 acres with six bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms and the largest couch you've ever seen.

TMZ caught up with Lions QB Matthew Stafford

2012-02-20T21:22:00.000-05:00

Celebrity ~~gossip~~ harassment website TMZ tracked down Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford as he and his girlfriend, Kelly Hall, were at the outdoor check-in desk at Los Angeles International Airport Sunday. Per usual when TMZ meets up with celebrities, the cameraman hassled Stafford with mind-blowing interrogation.

He had been in L.A. attending the Cartoon Network Hall of Game Awards. Stafford and Calvin Johnson accepted the Dynamic Duo award. Staff was a good sport, despite looking like he was ready to run the other way after the first couple questions.

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Stafford's mature well-beyond his 24 years of age and he's always sporting a Detroit Tigers cap - there's nothing with that. He's a good kid and Detroit is lucky to have him.

The best and worst Jeremy Lin signs

2012-02-20T11:02:00.000-05:00

2012 has been the year of the Lin in the NBA. Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin has taken the basketball world by storm. Perhaps the oddest aspect of Lin's recent explosions has been the accompanying puns and signs that follow him.

Sportscaster and fans everywhere have taken it upon themselves to try to create a never-before-heard pun, but the well is quickly running dry. Coming to an NBA arena with a Jeremy Lin sign has become the thing to do - even when you're rooting for the opposing team. Some have been Lin-credible and others have been not-so-Lincredible. See, I'm telling you, it's everywhere.

Can you remember an athlete who has had more signage devoted to him or her in such a short time...ever? If so, clue us in. Here are the best and worst of the Jeremy Lin puns and signs.

The worst:

And the best...

Scott Hartnell's sends message with autograph

2012-02-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

Philadelphia Flyers left winger Scott Hartnell signed an autograph for a Flyers fan recently and left a little message for Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Dion Phaneuf.

Hartnell and Phaneuf have history dating all the way back to February 9th. Hartnell scored against Toronto and within seconds was fighting Phaneuf within seconds of the puck hitting the net.

You have to love the Twitter hashtag before the message "SuckitPhaneuf."

Comerica Park is getting a new scoreboard

2012-02-20T09:02:00.000-05:00

In addition to signing the largest first baseman in the Major Leagues this offseason, in Prince Fielder, the Tigers will be adding the fourth-largest scoreboard in Bigs to Comerica Park.

Under construction now at a cost of roughly $10 million, the new board will finally allow fans to see replays at the ballpark. According to Crain's Detroit Business, "The new video board, which replaces monochromatic bulbs with a larger canvas of multicolored LED lights, will be 6,096 square feet — a major upgrade from the old 1,008-square-foot display area of the old scoreboard."

The same structure will exist behind the left field wall, but the setup will obviously be a little different (seen above). It'll be quite a refresher from the outdated scoreboard that has been in place since Comerica Park opened in 2000.

Video: Insane high school alley oop

2012-02-19T23:28:00.000-05:00

This would be 6'1" guard Gabe York out of Orange Lutheran High School in Orange, California. York has committed to the University of Arizona and when school starts in the fall, he'll be flying himself to campus.

I'm not sure which is more impressive - the catch, the hang time or the finish. We'll take the easy way out and go with choice (d) all of the above.

Propers to The Hoop Scene

Saturday Night Live spoofs Jeremy Lin coverage

2012-02-19T20:54:00.002-05:00

You've heard of this Jeremy Lin guy, right? Two weeks ago, you would have said "who?" By now, you might sick of the news being crammed down your throat. He's been a great story and hotter than a firecracker, averaging about 25 points and eight assists a game since kicking down the door on the sports world. He's become the new posterboy for ESPN. We're getting Lin highlights daily, whether or not the Knicks played the night before.

The coverage surrounding the Harvard grad has been "Linsane" and "Lintense". There isn't a positive adjective out there that hasn't been transformed to describe the craziness. Unfortunately, race has become part of the discussion because Lin is the first NBA player of Chinese or Taiwanese descent.

Saturday Night Live isn't about to shy away from tip-toeing the racial line. On Saturday, they ran out a sketch entitled "New York Sports Now" and doled out Jeremy Lin references that ranged from deadpan to downright offensive. Then again, nothing on that show should be taken too seriously. It has fallen on hard times in the humor department is clawing for anything to be relevant again.

Here's the sketch.

Propers to Hulu

Video: MSU's Branden Dawson goes Dominique Wilkins

2012-02-19T16:09:00.000-05:00

The Big Ten isn't usually blessed with NBA-type athletes. But body-wise, Michigan State freshman forward Branden Dawson could be playing in the NBA right now. And he definitely isn't afraid to show off his athleticism when the opportunity presents itself.

It certainly presented itself in the second half of Sunday's game against Purdue. Catching a feed from senior guard Brandon Wood, Dawson made a split-second decision to go with a Dominique Wilkins circa late 1990's. I'm not sure what the rim did to him, but he punished it. This stuff used to get 9's in NBA dunk contests, now it happens within the rhythm of a college game.

Detroit Mercy half court shot for a trip to South Beach

2012-02-18T22:35:00.000-05:00

Saturday afternoon, the name of a University of Detroit Mercy basketball fan was selected out of a hat. After signing up for a contest put on by Detroit radio station 98.7 Amp Radio, the lucky contestant was a half court shot away from winning a trip to South Beach.

And while I won't come right out and spoil what happens, I definitely wouldn't be posting this video if he had missed it.