It's called LaLaLand for a reason...

Live and die by the team...

2011-07-24T00:18:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse was found dead in her apartment at 27. Not a surprise. At all. Her troubles were well documented, both by the media and by Amy herself. But she was talented. Extremely talented. Her issues added to the expression of that talent and then eventually eclipsed it. But this is not a new story. Countless entertainer have done this. And countless more will ignore the messages in their rise and always tragic fall.

I've worked in entertainment. I grew up in LA and around entertainment. It may not look like it now, but it really is my life and my calling. In what capacity at this point, I don't know. But I have learned something that about entertainers. A large amount to them come into this industry seeking all of the things they THINK will solve their problems. It plays out in a number of ways. Living a life of excess so you always appear to be "great", whoring around so you always feel "loved", over eating, starving yourself nearly to death, and the one that usually ends a persons career, addiction.

That may seem like an extreme statement but turn on any awards show this year and see how much over done indulgence, machismo, chest thumping, braggadocio and attention seeking goes on. And that's on a stage with millions watching. The flip side of this business is that the stuff we all see on TV takes an impossible amount of maintenance. The bigger you get, the bigger the expectations and payroll get. And then, there's The Team.

Now The Team is a vital part of any career. Both personally and professionally. A Team can make or break an artist. Because most people who are really famous experience all that this business has to offer BEFORE they figure out who the hell they are. Artists can be a fragile bunch as it is. Especially the ones who actually make art. I don't even need to give you the list of artist, especially female artist, who've lost their shit.

One of an artists biggest issues is that by the time they're making enough money to get out of hand they're also making money for other people. And those people wanna keep cashing in. Once your star reaches a certain height, you can't tell 25 to 40 people that you need a break or that it's all too much. You become a product. A commodity. You will be bought and sold to the highest bidder. You're options aren't completely your own. And that can wear on a person. Especially those who have a self destructive streak.

That means that if it's too much too soon, The Team may not stop you. They may not say "you aren't well enough to make this album" or "you can't keep performing like this". They may walk away from you if you no longer make them money, but they won't sacrifice their checks to stop the money train. They push people out there too soon or too often all the time. *Ahem, El Debarge* They don't care if you're alright. Neither do the fans. They want the product that they've been sold, no matter the cost to the person it's built around. They want you on that stage, giving it your all. In a lot of cases, they come to get what THEY need from you weather you as the artist have to give it or not. And when all pf that becomes too much the artist might Brittany or Lindsay their way through it publicly or they may pull a Lauryn and just walk away.

But, back to Amy. I loved Back to Black. Every time I play it I realize how much I still love it. And like every other fan, I would've loved a new Amy album. Which we'll probably still get because she was recording. They'll pull something together. But it won't be the same. Amy was a young woman who wrote some pretty personal and often dark songs as it was when Frank came out. She was telling her truth and a lot of people related to it. It wasn't crappy pop, she had a clear sens of who she was as artist and she seemed like she was braver than a lot of her contemporaries. She was never "one of them". Never. She was Amy. Period.

By the time Amy recorded Back to Black, she had clearly been through it. She had changed and it showed. She made a brilliant piece of work, but each and every song laid out Amy's pain and sorrow for the world to see. She had a team behind her that really believed in her album. They believed in her talent. They knew that the material she recorded would hit. HARD. And it did.

But my question was this...was she ready for that fame? Clearly, she wasn't. Her way of saying "fuck you, I'm not conforming" was self-destructive. And it played out in public. She kept touring, the stories on her on stage behavior went from a red cup onstage to barely standing on stage. Her team knew what they were dealing with. Her first E! interview was about the single Rehab and the real life attempts to get her to go. It was her professing that she was FINE. They saw the train working it's way off the track and found a way to make money on it.

And if you think that was all Amy, there's no way. How else were they going to explain the evolution of Amy from Frank to Back to Black without hitting it head on? And with Rehab, they did that. But should it have been done? Was that in any way going to benefit the woman who was Amy Winehouse? No. Of course not, but it was the product they had to sell and sell it they did. Brilliantly.

rollin in...

I hate that part of the entertainment business. It's where you see the snakes behind the masks. I can't do that, which in turn will always limit my success. When I was working with artist, I was more concerned about getting them where they were going the healthiest possible way. Which takes more work and more time. It's music biz the old fashioned way. It's old school artist development. It's Barry Gordy or Clarence Avant saying "no, we don't think you're mature enough to be an artist, but you keep coming in, working and learning until WE think you are."

No one does that anymore. They want the quickest, hardest bang for their proverbial buck. Artists want to be overnight celebrities. So does the entourage. And the girlfriends/boyfriends. And if 2 episodes of a "reality" show can make you a household name, why take all that time and do all that work? It's there for the taking now. Right now. Labels are no different. They've completely done away with real artist development. A&Rs have been reduced to beat chasers and sales projectors. They're concern, as it's been handed down from the suits who run the show, it to make more money. Find something that makes money and do that again.

For an artist like Amy, I don't think she ever had the team she should've had. When it became to much (and she said it was, she got on video countless times and said the industry sucked and she wasn't going to give them what they wanted) they just used it to market her when they should've stopped the whole show for a while. Amy would've fought, kicked, scream and said she was fine. She wrote a whole damn song about it. But a responsible team would've held their ground. Instead they walked her out of rehab, when it hadn't even worked, and propped her ass up at an un-godly hour for her satellite performance at The Grammys.

She was on stage far more than she should've been after that night. Probably by choice. Amy never seemed like the type that wanted to be told what to do. But when are we going to stop putting people out there over and over when they clearly can't handle it? I remember when the last debacle of a performance Amy did made the rounds on the net a few weeks ago. What I heard the most was "her behavior was SO disrespectful to the band!" Ok, I get that. But what about the promoter that booked her and the person in her team that was handling the booking? The people who got her to the venue when they could've called it off. Don't they hold some responsibility in keeping her out there?

Fame and money make you more of who you are, but they also put a magnifying glass on whatever issue you're dealing with. Not just the addiction, but the demons. They get bigger and stronger with ever added pressure, critic, expectation and expense.

And sometimes, they can take your life.

Rest in Peace, Amy. I hope you find there what you never got here.

Carmageddon, scharmageddon. Let's do this AGAIN!!

2011-07-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Despite the warnings of terrible traffic, hours of delays and hot headed Angelenos, Carmageddon was AMAZING!! The traffic was great, the local events, malls and shops were full and people were really enjoying themselves. Friendly even. LOL

Truth be told, there shouldn't have been any of those issues after a couple months of warnings that turned into marketing and an international news story. The reason we expected problems...people don't listen and people in LA tend to be a bit entitled. We all expected those people to pitch a fit when they couldn't get where they needed to go. I think all of those people got spooked and left town. Great, let's do this again! Venice is a bear, the 110 is old and crusty, PCH could use a little widening in spots. Don't you have something you could shut down and fix Los Angeles?

I had a great time this weekend and here's a bit (well, a lot) of the fun. Starting with the Eat Real Fest!

My girls Devyn, Shay and Leslie were in town so we went to see our friend and favorite actor, Darryl Stephens in a wonderful play called The Interlopers. Great performances all around. Laughed, cried, rooted for the characters. this was great theater. Not "Your Arms Too Long to Touch Dance With Jesus Cause You Might Sock Moses In The Face" kind of theater either. LOL

Then we headed over to Kitchen 24 for a later dinner. I love that place. It's one of my favorities! And they make a mean cocktail to boot...

I stopped off for a little walking recovery at the nail spa...

Today, on the day when most escaped Angelenos were coming back into town and crowding the freeways, I went to ART IN THE STREETS!! Seriously, if you haven't been yet or it comes to your city, see it! It's amazing...

I ended my day satisfying my craving for Vegan Hot Wings (with Orange Chicken and Spinach Fried Rice) at Bulan Thai in Silverlake. Mmmm mmm good...

The Market at Santa Monica Place. Mmm Mmm GOOD!

2011-05-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

So, I took a couple quick trips to check out The Market at Santa Monica Place. One with my bestie and one with my mom. Thank God I have foodies in my life that would understand my excitement! I love food. I love trying different things, cooking, discovering cool items and expanding my knowledge. All good things to me. So, I had been waiting for The Market to open for months. So I had to taste, buy...and take pictures. LOL

My take on the place, it's pretty great! And once everything is in place, it will be even better. One of the highlights for me was the Artisanal LA pop up store which will be there for just a month. They've always highlighted local, sustainable vendors who make great food and other products. Rotating local vendors in The Market is a great idea. I missed the 1st 3 vendors, but by the end of 2 days, I had something from all of the folks being featured May 23-25. Tangerine Vanilla Bean marmalade from Wallace Comestibles, 2 tiny Greek cookies from Gleeka, and the this life changing Peach White Balsamic Vinegar from Beyond the Olive. And I mean LIFE CHANGING. I've never tasted anything like it in my life. You can actually drink it, use it in iced tea, on veggies or seafood...or in that fantastic cocktail I made with organic mango lemonade and Vodka. A Peach revelation, I tell ya...

I also

I also checked out Rockenwagner Bakery; picked up Spiced Mexican Hot Chocolate (with cinnamon and chili powder, YUM!) at Groundwork Coffee; bought great Goat Cheese from and what the purveyor called "Vegetarian Salami" that is a fig leaf wrapped around fig, nuts and a bunch of other tasty stuff at Norcino Salumeria Cheese Bar; picked up Sea Salt Caramels and a couple truffles at L’Artisan du Chocolat. All in all, a tasty field trip! If you get a chance to visit, do it.

30 Days Later...

2011-05-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

I’ve been working very hard at changing my habits and lifestyle for the better. For years, I seem to have always been fighting an uphill battle in my life. 2 steps forward, 2 steps back with pit stop of good times along the way. I think a lot of us do that. I think its survival. We take what comes our way and find ways to cope. For me, I had developed the habit of shutting myself down. Doing what I had to, to get things done, then holing up in my bedroom in front of the TV…or going out so I could be away. Nothing wrong with either, but I realized a few months ago that I had stopped being actively in control of the life I led. Mine was a life of defense. And as long as I didn’t take control, what happened in my life would remain the same.

In order to do that, I looked inward. There’s really nothing I can do about my lack of funds, out of work family members or my responsibilities. Those things weren’t going anywhere. What had to change was my approach to this life. I started by trying to increase my awareness. About everything. Deepak Chopra’s The Book of Secrets helped me refocus the way I had been years ago. It brought my awareness back to my spirit, mind and body instead of the chaos going on around me. I had allowed stress and the burdens of other people to make me physically ill. Literally. Never in my life had I been sick so many times or had such bad back problems. Something had to change.

One thing about me, if I get on a kick I stay on a kick for a while. 1st I turned off the TV and took a month off of going out. While I was doing that, I watched documentary after documentary about our food, our politics and our world. I started making even more educated decision. Starting with my diet. That was the most drastic thing I changed. After learning about what GMOs are and what companies do to our food supply to increase their profits (and limit the regulations) it scared the shit out of me. The things we’ve done to play God and make money are equal parts fascinating and disgusting.

I gave up meat years ago, but I had turned into a junk food vegetarian. Not healthy at all. Not only was I eating more processed foods than “clean” food, I was allowing my schedule, social calendar, stress level and fatigue tell me what to eat. Why prep and cook when I’m too tired, too busy, not feeling good or have an event to get to? When I try, I’m actually the queen of discipline. I had only become disciplined at making excuses.

So, the processed food went out of the house and office, and got replaced by fruits and vegetables. I started taking extra time out of my evenings to cook and extra time on the weekends to actually plan meals and shop. But it wasn’t really enough to detox me body from the mess I’d been consuming. Enter the 30 days…

For the past 30 days, I have eaten no starches other than potatoes (since they’re a veggie), a minuscule amount of dairy and every version of a vegetarian meal I could think of. And the last 3 days, soup and juice. Prior to this 30 day fast, I had already been eating better for about a month and a half, so it wasn’t that hard. Except for today, the last day. After 3 days of not chewing a thing, I’m through! But the sacrifice (more the obedience to what I knew was the right thing for ME), was totally worth it. My cravings have changed, I discovered that I really like kale and not much of what’s on TV, I lost 10 pounds, started going to Bally’s 4-5 days a week again, took up yoga and meditation which helped me focus spiritually and manage my stress. Now feel a lot more like myself. I feel a lot more like the person I’m supposed to be, living the lifestyle I’m supposed to live.

They say it takes about 3 weeks to create a new habit in your life. I think that’s about right. I know that I’m not going to dive back into junk food and laziness, because I don’t want to. It doesn’t appeal to me right now. Nor does ugliness, gossip, ignorance, greed and a myriad of other things that don’t really fit a life lived with awareness. Not everyone has been supportive of all of these changes. And I get that. But that’s more about them than it is about me. This will sound all new age-y but, if my heightened level of consciousness bothers you…you probably don’t fit into this life I’m living anyway.

So, here I am at the end of my 30 days, knowing that this in only the beginning of the path I’m on; knowing that the positives in my life have doubled even if none of the circumstances have changed; knowing that everyone won’t get me now and that’s OK. I’m OK. Exactly where I am right now…

But, DAMN I’m hungry!! LOL

The Beautiful One...

2011-05-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I've seen PRINCE. 3 times. Have you seen PRINCE? It's kind of funny what it's turned into now. Have you or haven't you. And how many times have you gone? But, I look at it a little differently. I study. The show, the business and, the part a lot of people don't see, the politics of the business. No doubt about it, Prince is one of the most amazing performers I've ever seen live. And each of the 3 shows I've been too have been different. Jazz arrangements on some songs, a long section on The Purple One on BASS last week, and different songs each time I've been. I had forgotten in listening to the recorded music how AMAZING A GUITAR PLAYER Prince really is. Watching him play has been nothing short of astonishing. It's also great to hear him sing the songs he's written for other people. My personal favorite has been "Shhhh..." the song he wrote for Tevin Campbell. I've always loved the song, but Prince's version laid me out...

But, Prince also has an integrity that will not allow for BS in his business or shows. If it isn't right, heads will roll. Some people think he's sensitive and strange, but you don't reach that level of success of talent by worrying about how people feel about your standards or decisions.

By last night, Prince walked on stage yelling that he was now paid and free of contracts. He was celebrating and making a statement. Only time will tell how things with Prince and concert promoters wash out...and which cities he does next, if any. But, this 21 Night Stand has been amazing! And it's not over yet. If you haven't seen Prince yet, do it! But watch Ticketmaster's ass...they're up to some trickery.

And of course, I've taken some pictures...

Alicia Keys

Yes, the night he was on the bike.

Cell phone stars...

Esperanza Spaulding

SHEILA EFFIN E!!!!!!

Permanent...Momentary...Satisfaction. A Love Summit recap. (VIDEO)

2011-03-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

Last night was a great night at Little Temple. The folks at Nu-Soul Magazine have been hitting hard with their Nu-Thursday event for the past few weeks and The Love Summit was no different.

The night started with DJ Destroyer setting the mood in high fashion. Yet another great set! 1st up on the stage, Chris Young. The crowd was really diggin his style and his creativity. He ended the set with a song I really love Focus feat Nikko Gray. Nikko stayed on stage to go into her own seamless set...

Nikko is one of my favorite artists right now. She's got it all, the voice, the pen, the personality, the looks and the girl is a great nail artist who makes some dope jewelry to boot. Nothing like a woman who is creative and limitless.

The night ended with a stellar performance by Taylor McFerrin. It was an entirely improved set showcasing all sides of his musicianship. Some of the things he can do live really stretch the imagination. I cant wait to see how his live show develops as he adds songs and starts releasing full albums. A highlight of the set...McFerrin being joined on stage by his label mate, pianist Austin Peralta, while their Brainfeeder family, including Flying Lotus and Thundercat looked on. In his introduction of Peralta, McFerrin said that they'd met that day...but what they did together on that stage, with Austin on keys and Taylor on the beat box (which doesn't begin to describe what he does) was pure magic.

Here's a little more of The Love Summit fun, plus a vid...

The lovely girls who have teamed up to create KleurME, Nikko Gray included, were also on hand doing nail art. Visit their site! They are really creative women and the stuff they come up with...DOPE!

I also grabbed a couple rings designed by Ms. Gray herself. Hotness!!!

Nikko Gray performs Chemical Reaction...

Kick off Grammy weekend with the launch of Nu-Thursdays!

2011-01-31T13:52:00.000-08:00

Hello all and Happy New Year! It's still new, right? There are lots and lots of things I'd like to post to the blog this year but with Grammy weekend FAST approaching there's no better place to start! The best part about being in LA during the Grammy's is all the wonderful live music and the infusion of great people from all over the world. There is never a dull moment. This year, you DO NOT want to miss the launch of Nu-Thursdays at Little Temple on 2/10/11.

Hosted by 2011 Grammy nominee Eric Roberson, the night will feature performances by Sy Smith, YahZarah, Avery Sunshine and nominee Carolyn Malachi backed all night by Breezy LoveJoy Band. There will also be sets by DJ Destroyer. VERY limited presale tickets and table packages are available at http://templebarconcepts.tickets.musictoday.com/. HURRY!

Want a taste of what's in store for the night?

Nu-Thursdays Launch Event, February 10, 2011
Doors 9pm-2am
Show begins at 10pm
Early Arrival is Suggested!
21+ with ID

Little Temple
4519 Santa Monica Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90029

Eric Roberson
Visit blueerrosoul.blogspot.com...

Sy Smith
Visit http://www.facebook.com/sysmithmusic...

YahZarah
Visit www.whoisyahzarah.com/...

Avery*Sunshine
Visit http://www.averysunshine.com/...

Carolyn Malachi
Visit http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcarolynmalachi.com%2F&h=84c0a

Brought to you by:
http://nu-soulmag.com/
http://blockcheddar.com/
http://fusicology.com/
http://thebloomeffect.com/
http://universal-rhythm.com/

The McRib? Nah, I'm good...

2010-11-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

“The McRib Is Back!”

A brightly colored sign announced this to an overflowing McDonald’s. The food stylists, those people responsible for making sure that every photo of every item of food looks heavenly, have done a great job. The barbeque sauce looks tantalizing, the pickles and onions look crisp and refreshing and the bun looks fresh. The best looking fries and ice cold drink sit off to the side. It all just works together.

But me, I just shook my head. Under all that lovely looking accompaniment lies one of the strangest food experiences I’ve ever had. Ever. Years ago, when I lived with my grandmother and we were broker than broke, we were signed up with a food bank at a local church. We’d go over and pick up a couple of bags of staples to supplement what we could afford. One day, as we were unpacking the bags, we came across this large industrial plastic bag with a dozen or so patties in the bottom.

They were grayish brown and covered in ice, so we didn’t know what they were. We smelled them, something completely unrecognizable hit me, but I still couldn’t identify what kind of meat they were. So we put them in the freezer to figure out some other day. You know, when we got low on protein.

When we finally defrosted some, we started to see the faint shape of ribs…more accurately, a McRib. They were like little oily sponges of pork something-or-other once they were thawed. I’d never seen a texture like that in a grocery store before in my life. My 1st thought…“is this what scrapple looks like?”

But, we were hungry and it was time to cook them. So, into the pan they went. BIG mistake! Within 2 minutes, they were swimming in grease and a 3rd of their size. We ended up wrapping them in paper towels, a couple of times, to get as much of the grease off as possible before we ate them. They tasted alright, but my stomach was not happy. But, we thought it was our cooking method. They couldn’t be THAT bad right? This was the highly sought after McRib, after all.

But, sadly it was not. The next time, we tried to bake them. When we pulled them out of the over there were these small, still grayish brown, things floating in grease. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Needless to say, I never touch a McRib again. And this was before I gave up meat. All it did was make me wonder…what else is in this stuff?

A little global funk and soul recap...

2010-10-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

I saw Taylor McFerrin (yes, son of Bobby) do a great improved set this past Wednesday at Zanzibar...on the same show as Electric Wire Hustle. I'd heard his name, seen a few mentions but hadn't really gotten into his stuff. Until now. UBER talented dude. And he makes beautiful music. I newly obsessed with A Place In My Heart feat Ryat. Check this dude out, you won't be disappointed...

Taylor McFerrin - Track Preview from EARLY RISER by Taylor McFerrin

Go sign up for Taylor McFerrin's mailing list to get these songs!

And speaking of Wednesday night...Electric Wire Hustle!!! Another group I'd heard bits and pieces about for a while before I got the album. Loved it right away. But that album is only about a third as good as they are live. And I mean that. 3 people on the stage that sounded like 12! A lead singer with a gorgeous voice holding down the guitar, a keyboard player/programmer that did a BANANAS talk box solo and a drummer that really BEAT my bad day completely out of my body. This is their first go 'round in the US, but if you get a chance to see their show, DO NOT MISS IT!

The Sounds & GREAT Vibes of Sunset Junction 2010...(videos)

2010-08-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

The only way I can describe Sunset Junction...energy! So, I filmed some of the good times at the Evelyn Champagne King and Bobo & Rhettmatic shows...both shows were a dance party. Also, Me'Shell N'degeocello's rendition of Cars. Enjoy!

SANG ANDRE!

2010-08-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

The vocal ministry of the amazing Andre Washington! That's the only thing I can call it...enjoy!

Sights of Sunset Junction 2010...

2010-08-23T13:28:00.000-07:00

I had a ball this weekend at Sunset Junction. The music, the people, the food, the energy. It was everything I needed. Everywhere you went people were dancing, smiling and socializing. I can't even tell you how much fun it was just to people watch. It was an experience. And, yes, The Whispers did Olivia during their AMAZING set!!! What a way to wind down the summer. Get there next year...

You're how old? I'll have what he's having!

2010-08-19T20:25:00.001-07:00

My mom and I ordered dinner from a new place tonight. Natural Soul Food Cafe. They messed up our order a bit & took great pains to drive back to us and fix it. I'm so glad they did! It gave me a change to speak to one of the employees and for for my mom to talk to the delivery guy. They're older, we knew that off the bat. But during his 2nd trip to our place, my mom told the delivery man that we really enjoyed the food. It was great and healthy!

His response sent me online to look them up. He stopped cold and said "I'm 70. I do 100 push ups on the classroom floor to motivate elementary kids to eat healthy. I got a letter from Michelle Obama!" My mom said, "wow, we'll be giving you guys lots of business!" He then informed her that they were a non-profit cafe. What? A non-profit? Ice seen there space for years but had never eaten at the restaurant. So, follwing a great meal and an eye opening visit, I looked them up...

They really are a non-profit, they really do have a program that serves our kids. And they really are committed to healthy food. It seems the delivery service is a small piece of their overall mission. So small, in fact, that when I called the woman answered "is this the lady that ordered the food?"

I'm in love with this place and these people. I am going to spend money with them because I belive in what they are trying to do. It's wide reaching, but with a serious focus on the community around them. Their sponsors have given them the luxury of using ingredients that are pretty much cost prohibitive in this economy, and especially in this area. And all if this so that they can provide healthier food to the lower income community around them. The only thing that disappoints me is the lack of spotlight on what they're doing.

So, if you're in the Crenshaw/Leimert/West Adams/Jefferson Park Area, stop by! Call and order something! Go to their "Community Sensitivity Dining Room" and over pay them. Their website says "pay what your taste buds say"...those of you that eat out all the time should stop by and give them what you'd give everyone else that's chasing a profit. Just look past the red, black and green militant looking storefront...they are lovely people, doing great work, that will serve you tasty food and use you money to give back. Check them out...www.naturalsoulfood.org.

32...

2010-08-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

So, I'm now 32. Happy Birthday to me...again! And like every year round this time, I reflect, correct and grow a little more. This year, I really didn't feel like celebrating my birthday. Not because I don't like my birthday, but because 2010 has been a ridiculously busy year already. And a lot of fun! I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do that I hadn't done yet. Well, nothing I could afford anyway. I also didn't want to deal with the bullshit that happens every time I plan something for my birthday. People respond to the invitations with "I'm there!" Which really translates into "I'm there...unless something that benefits me comes up...or someone's throwing a more fabulous party than you...or I'm working...or I can't make a good enough excuse to leave my man/woman...or I procrastinate and miss the entire thing altogether."

That happens more often than not because I have, what I'd like to refer to as, a large group of acquaintances and a small group of friends. I can count my real friends on one hand. And they were great this weekend! Most people land in the large group of acquaintances. Fine by me. My social circle is fun, entertaining, talented and sweet. But unreliable as hell. LOL So, for the last few years, I've been learning to expect exactly what people are capable of and no more. It's working out great actually. I feel selfish at times, but I think you need to be to get what you want. At least a little bit. Not to the point of treating people badly, but at least to the point that you take care of you and be ok with that.

At 30, I learned that it was ok to be exactly who I am. At 31, I learned that it's ok to say "no, I won't keep giving of myself and getting nothing in return". At 32...well I'm not quite sure what I've learned yet. Though, I've definitely accepted that I know more than I realize and see things in terms of what's happening below the surface. It's a great tool to have. But it's not life changing. Every year, I learn a lesson that changes the way I live my life. Even slightly. I look back at 07-08, I was 29 having the hardest year of my life. Then look at my life now, I know that even a slight change makes a HUGE difference. I'm looking forward to figuring out what the lesson is this year...

Kitsch...and a little history on the black hand side.

2010-05-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today I volunteered at the annual APLA event held at the "Pink House". The home is owned by Allee Willis. The woman is phenomenally accomplished. She's written songs for Earth, Wind and Fire, Randy Crawford and a tons of other people, wrote the theme to FRIENDS (Cha-ching!) and her current project is Color Purple, the musical. She co-wrote the music with Brenda Russel and Stephen Bray.

I had heard she was an eccentric and that is no lie! But she is also a technology guru (especially when it comes to the arts), has spoken before congress, has one of the largest collections of pop culture memorabilia (a large part of it BLACK) that she rotates through her home and museum and she's got an alter-ego named Bubbles. Bubbles even went so far as to work with Real and Chance from I Love New York! The woman is a fascinating walking breathing history of entertainment and bank of genius. It is no surprise that she's also a bit mad scientist and wacky. I absolutely love her! I strongly recommend that all my entertainment minded friends spend hours on her website: http://www.alleewillis.com/. I'm going to just to learn from the woman...

Today's exhibit was art done by John Lloyd Young, who played Frankie Valley in the original Broadway cast of Jersey Boys. He took a food box and covered it in rhinestones to give to Allee as a gift, she in turn asked him to do an entire collection for sale. Her introduction of the artist included the following line, which pretty much sums up the afternoon, "I don't even mind that I lost the TONY to him...since he was so fuckin' brilliant in Jersey Boys."

Below are two slide shows of the pics I took today. The first includes the art, the second is of Ms. Willis' museum. When I tell you that she has a genuine love for black people that I've never seen before, it's an understatement. Her father wrote her a letter on his deathbed. In it, he told her to stay away from "the black people". Her embracing of the culture and working within it is a very, VERY deliberate thing. She's beyond dope!

Also, here's a REALLY GOOD LOOK AT HER FANTASTIC HOUSE!

The Happiest Place On Earth...

2010-05-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my mom and I spent the entire day at Disneyland. We had free tickets earned volunteering for AIDS Project LA. Volunteering was fun, and Disneyland was a blast! It had been about 4 years since I’d been last and this time we planned out exactly what we wanted to see. There were some great highlights and, yes, a couple low lights. But, let’s start with the good stuff, shall we?

Captain EO

I was really excited to finally see Captain EO. I never got to go during the original run. I was always at Disneyland for a field trip and they never wanted to let us stop for the show. Yes, it’s corny and ful of 80s cliché…but come one, it’s MICHAEL! If you really think about what they were able to accomplish in 1986, it’s still a feat. Michael was as great a performer as he always was. It was filmed sometime between Thriller and Bad. You could actually see his hair transition from the Thriller curl to the Bad wave if you paid close attention. I’m really glad I got to see it.

Blue Bayou Restaurant

Ever since I was a child, I have gotten on Pirates of the Carribean and floated by the Blue Bayou restaurant in awe. It’s a beautiful place with low light surrounded by water and great tropical sound effects. It’s very calm seeing as it’s at the beginning of the ride. So, my mom and I decided we were eating there. Both of us would rather spend money on a good meal than overpriced merchandise any day of the week. And it wasn’t just good, it was great! Like every other Disney attraction, it is meticulously designed and executed. And this was a restaurant with “traditional service”, meaning cloth napkins, proper silver ware, domes over the food and a well choreographed wait staff. I really enjoyed it.

When they brought out the bread with the butter in little balls and the candied walnut & cranberry salad with the salad fork, I got excited! I loved it. A little known fact about me: I took etiquette class when I was a kid. They taught us how to eat, sit, stand, converse, set a table, groom and dress like proper young ladies. Ok, so we were a group of plain jane girls who had no idea where we’d ever use this stuff and it was organized by a mom that couldn’t get her daughter into Jack n’ Jill, but I learned a lot. Every once in a while, I use some of the information. Yesterday was no different; the minute you give me a salad fork, I feel a bit obligated to get it right. It’s a fun, yet personal, challenge to see if I still have it. And I do!

We had a great time on the rides. Star Tours is still as jolting and crazy as ever, Space Mountain is still the most fun you’ll have in the entire park. It was my first time riding the Nemo submarine attraction since they changed it from its original theme to Nemo. It was beautiful. That’s something that strikes you as you walk through the park, the beauty. Disneyland is amazing. But the mechanics behind it are even more amazing. You’ll never see a speck of dirt, a security guard, an employee entrance or area, or any of the machinery that runs the 510 acre park. It’s designed to keep the fantasy intact for everyone 8 to 80. Leave it up to Disney and they’ll have you thinking the place in run on Tinkerbell’s fairy dust and everything is always perfect. They’ve thought of everything. And I do mean everything. You know you’ll never see mice or other pest at Disneyland? It’s outdoors, so you really should. But they have a collection of cats that run the park behind the scenes (and run the entire park when it’s closed) that keep the pests away. Crazy right?

Something that did bug me…the Jungle Cruise and, to a lesser degree, the Tiki House. They are two of the oldest attractions in the park. You can tell because the Jungle Cruise was designed at a time when it was ok to have “giant pygmies” with spears threatening the guests. Basically, in Disney’s eyes in the 60’s Jungle = African and in the most stereotypical way possible. Same with the “Hawaiian” culture in the Tiki Room that included things like statues saying “me like rain”. Mmmmkay. I hadn’t gone to either attraction since I was a kid, neither had my mom. My mom went to Disneyland the week it opened and has probably been dozens more times than I. But, we both saw things a little bit differently when we went to those attractions yesterday.

Interestingly enough, they added Princess Tiana (you know, the black girl) to the lineup at the appointment center where little girls go to get their princess makeovers. We saw a good dozen little girls dressed up as Tiana yesterday. And they’ve gone out of there was to add some New Orleans flavor to a portion of the park. But, they missed the obvious, offensive slant that their oldest attractions have. Yet Small World (which has been there forever) is still the We Are The World of the Disneyland park. Go figure…

I’m looking forward to going again soon though. Nothing really relieves stress like the opportunity to just be a kid again! Here's some of the shots I got...

Since I really don't care...

2010-05-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I'm venting. Bear with me.

When I was about to turn 30, a friend told me that my “whatever” attitude was going to get worse. Way worse. I was already one of those “I don’t give a fuck, I’m doin’ me” type of people, so according to him it was going to get a lot worse. And, he was right…

Don’t get me wrong, I love people. I love observing people, I love getting to know people and I especially love spending time with people. But with that I’ve had to learn not to give anyone anything they themselves are not willing to give. If I’m there for you and you’re there for me, we are golden. I don’t care if I only have a real conversation with you twice a year. As long as we’re both actively engaged in the friendship, we are and will always be friends.

With that being said, I know I don’t have a lot of friends. I happen to think its better that way. I know a whole lot of people, but I can count my real friends on a hand and a half. My real friends are the ones who make an effort, who check on me, whose words are backed up by their actions. And I thank them for that. But you acquaintances have gotten it all wrong.

If your idea of friendship is to be inconsiderate, shallow, rude and selfish, I really don’t want you around. Everyone has their issues and a true mark of friendship is to accept others as they accept you. But in order for that to happen, you have to accept your faults. You have to be able to take personal responsibility for your actions. If you let someone down then ignore it and them, you’re basically the worst kind of asshole. You think you’re entitled to treat people however you want. And, judging by the precedent, you would probably be super hot if someone did the same shit to you.

People always give me the “she’s got an attitude” look when they get dry responses from me. But, I would ask folks to take a good long look at how they’ve treated people. That might not be my attitude you’re seeing, that look may just tell you how little I now value you as a person. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who make you feel like they don’t give a fuck about you. It just is. None of us should have people in our lives that don’t respect, value or care about us. If I’m in control of my quality of life, then I’m in control of how much bullshit I put up with.

I will ride or die for certain people in my life. They know it, I know it. They have off days just like I do, but I will never question their friendship. They’ve put up with my mess and I owe them the same. But the rest of you fuckers? I don’t owe you shit. And I’m not giving you shit. I’ve done my fair share of being there for people far longer than I should have. But after years of doing that and getting nothing in return, I finally got fed all the way up. Someone once told me that I couldn’t just cut them off. Oh, but it’s a skill I’ve gotten damn good at it. No more toxic people, no more users, no more risking my stability for folks who have none of their own, just NO MORE.

Now that I got that off my chest, I must say this…I have a small but mighty group of friends who push me to be better ,call me on my shit, sit with me when I cry, encourage me to take chances, and once in a while give me permission to be bad! LOL I love you guys very much. You know who you are…

Who's the worst singer since slavery?

2010-04-02T14:46:00.001-07:00

It's a tie between The Dream & Sean Garrett...FYI writers & producers: becoming an artist is NOT necessary.

Ask me anything

If you could attend any concert, what would it be?

2010-03-27T19:54:00.001-07:00

Prince...20 years ago.

Ask me anything

Hey, hood vegetarians!

2010-03-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

I love to cook, I love to eat. I'm a foodie. That's just what I am. However, when I gave up meat in June 2006, I found it hard to find great places to eat that didn't break the bank. At home, I can always whip something up, but when I don't feel like cooking I still have to eat, right?

*Disclaimer - I still eat seafood, dairy, cheese, eggs and all that. So, I'm not really a vegetarian. The meat just wasn't doing it for me.*

I found a great place on Jefferson and Normandie, near USC, to get tasty and cheap vegetarian "soul food". No, seriously! Angelenos, this stuff is the bizness! It's a hole in the wall with dinky tables and chairs. Eat in (with the good satellite radio and happy people), or call ahead and take out. Make sure you get their Blueberry Lemonade when you go. Try the "BBQ Chik'un", try the "Fibbs" (faux riblets), the Vegan Mac is good too (when it's not on the salty side), and the greens are the best ever!!! But they have this Chik'un Stuffed Yamm (pictured below) that's amazing. Whoever came up with that was genius! But a tip, skip the dessert. I know what I'm having for dinner...

Check out what might be your new favorite spot...Vegisoul!

RUN FORREST! A good day in LA...

2010-03-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

This morning, my mom and I volunteered for AIDS Project LA in support of their runners who raised (I found out this morning) $500,000 dollars during this year’s marathon. Because they changed the route to cut clear across LA, they got to set up a major event and PowerAde/water station. We started at 6:30AM making balloon towers, setting up tables and stations, then pouring 12,000 cups of beverages for the runners. Half of the volunteers didn’t even show up, but something wonderful happened. People walking down Santa Monica Blvd stopped and asked if they could help. Some stayed 30 minutes, one guy and his dog stayed a few hours. He didn’t even talk to anyone; he just saw what we were doing and jumped in. They pretty much doubled the volunteer sign up as the morning progressed. It was amazing!

During the race, I noticed that there were a HUGE amount of kids running. You can see them in the pic above, they're all in bright green tank tops. Most of the kids were in Junior High or High School, though I saw some that may have been as young as 5. The really small kids were running with their families but most were running with Students Run LA, an organization that trains at-risk (read: HOOD) kids from LA Unified to run after school and on weekends. The program was started by a teacher in East LA. 90% of their kids finish all 26.2 miles. I suggest you check them out. Donate, volunteer, do something! These kids are changing their lives and their outlook by facing a challenge most of us could never do and we, as a community should support them!

Also participating today was Felipe Antonio from Homeboy Industries. People in LA know that they’ve been one of the biggest programs to ever make a dent in the gang culture of LA thanks to Father Greg Boyle. When my mom was working with Great Beginnings for Black Babies, they were a new organization that everyone was really excited about. Look at them now! They’ve got programs for jobs, legal assistance, mental health counseling, tattoo removal (for gang ID tats), the list is endless.

Peep this story about Felipe Antonio, who was the Homeboy of the Year for 2009 and announced at the ceremony that he was training for the Marathon. He ran right by me today with his 5 homeboys who were taking turns assisting him the 26.2 miles to Santa Monica.

For all the fake, attention seeking, shallow craziness there is in this City, it felt amazing to spend the morning with people who worked for something bigger than fame, better than money. People that make a real impact and a real difference. I plan to go back next year, and find other ways to volunteer in 2010. I hope some of you do the same!

*PLEASE CHECK OUT THE ORGANIZATIONS MENTIONED IN THIS POST TO FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN HELP!*

My two cents on Telephone...

2010-03-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

Since I'm hearing about Lady Gaga and Beyonce's new Telephone everywhere, I figured I would throw in my two cents as well. I'm a music geek, but I'm also a music biz geek. What that means it that I can equally love and hate something for totally different reasons. I see the perspective of art and artist, but also of sales tool and image. So, here we go...

This is my opinion on Telephone: They looked amazing, that's what they're good at. The actual concept of the video, putting the song aside completely, was cool. It was shot well and they pushed the boundaries on the fashion front. However, the concept of the video when you put the song with it (which is really the point, right?) was STUPID. Were they making a short film promoting their love of makeup and fashion and disguising it (loosely) as a music video? I think so.

The song itself isn't good, but the concept of the song is kind of cute. The song is about being out and having a dude blow up your phone...did you see ANY of that in the video? Nope. They had the chance to make a crappy song more palatable by pairing it with a high concept video that you couldn't help but watch, which in turn would make you give in to the song. Ask Rihanna, she does it with every single. No one really cared what she "want want want" til she started the slow wine in hot outfits. Let face it, video is the way mediocre artists make you care. It's a full on visual assault in the hopes of getting some wack ass song stuck in your head.

What they did was a short film about lesbian murderers. Even standing alone, I still have to ask where that fits into the concept of Gaga's album. It's probably the first video of hers where I immediately thought it just didn't match. She's a pop star who likes to make simple pop music and wear crazy fashion. She was a performance artist before any of us knew a thing about her, this is the same thing on a bigger scale. Can she write great songs? Yes, but that's not her goal so she doesn't do it often. The entire package of fashion, shock and music together is her goal. They were going for the impact of huge stars, a big budget and high fashion. But they were missing the connective tissue that would've made the video sell the song and, subsequently, the album. She's also going into to ridiculous amounts of debt with her label. She'll be there for a long while. Yet another page out of the "I don't sell enough albums to support the marketing campaign" book of Rihanna.

So, to sum it all up:

Song: D

Concept of the Song: C-

Video Concept w/o song: B+

Video as compliment to the song: F

Clothes, Hair & Makeup: A+

Hate me if you wanna, but I'm gonna have to give the Telephone video a C-.

F R E S H

2010-03-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

So, the 80s are back. The good, the bad and the ugly. My mom has a theory that everything goes in 20 year cycles. I think she's right. So around 2029, skinny jeans will be in full effect right? Let's hope not!

A few things from the 80s we can do without. Fanny packs, gumby fades and overalls are all back. Thankfully they haven't caught all the way on yet. I've seen a few too many Bobby Brown esque fades in music videos lately and I'm sure they will be followed by men in biker shorts soon. But one trend that excites me to no end...the 2 finger ring redux! I'm not talking gold nuggets and nameplates (though the name plates are back too). Remember these gaudy pieces of craziness?

I'm excited about the modern, sometimes strange 2 finger rings that are gracing fingers everywhere. New materials, different textures and a whole new spin have been put on the modern 2 finger ring. It's resulted in some wearable art and funk that makes quite the statement. In the April issue of Instyle, there's editorial page on 2 finger rings that featured my all time favorite ring, Kara Ross' Maple Wood Ring with 18k gold and pave Diamonds. Yeah, it's over $3,000 so you won't see me in it, but how fuckin dope is that thing?

Dont have a spare $3,000 sitiing around? Check these out...

If you're going to do the trend, be different and make a statement with something unexpected. Like the Hello Drama Youth Gone Wild 2 finger ring below:

Or this super original wood and leather ring from Mathematics:

Throw on some color and rock RED GLASS by StudioLeanne:

Need something a bit edgier? MerCurious makes lots of cool shit like this skull ring:

Another favorite of mine, this the Mic Test:

I don't know what I like better, the ring or the name. The "Vodka and Orange":

Trends are only really cool if you can find a unique way to wear them. Maybe the 2 finger ring isn't your thing. Find a trend...look for it's hidden, black sheep step cousin...then rock THAT!

It's still fashion...

2010-03-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

Gabourey Sibede in Marchesa,

"If fashion was porn, this dress is the money shot!"

So here it is the day after the Academy Awards. The day when news outlets ignore what's going on in the world to focus on the dresses of the night before. Seriously. I, home sick in bed, watch newscast after newscast open with the fashion and then return to the fashion. The awards themselves are secondary. Always have been. This is why J. Lo (who will probably never be a nominee or winner) is always front and center at the Oscars. She always delivers on the red carpet.

But this year, I noticed something. I knew it would happen and I wasn’t surprised, but I am prompted to speak on it. in a word, Gabourey. This woman has been up front and personal with her "I love me so you'll love me" attitude the entire awards season. Everyone, myself included, has been glued to her every interview. I think we were simultaneously impressed with her confidence and waiting for a sign that it was an act. Last night she proved that it was truly no act. She stormed out on that red carpet. Every person I saw speak to her was immediately swept up in her joy. But...no one asked who she was wearing. There is no coincidence in that. They don’t know how to address her; they don't know how to deal with her. They don't know how to associate the word fashion with Gabourey, though she clearly has that figured out for herself.

I could actually feel the hesitation in people's voices as they passed over her when making comments on the dresses. Some wanted to say she looked great; some were just uninterested in her period. But, no one knew how to say either. The fact is, in the fashion industry someone like her is not only non-existent, they're undesirable. I know this for a fact. I'm from LA, born and raised, and I don't fit the standard of beauty in my own home town. I know the feeling. But I also know how great it feels to finally accept yourself and tell everyone else to kiss your entire ass. And there's a lot of ass.

The fact is, she wore Marchesa and she wore it well. They crafted a dress for her that would give her the right silhouette on the red carpet. Silhouette is something that any woman can have no matter what size she is. And Marchesa doesn't make a plus size pair of socks. Her stylist got a top designer (one of my favs in awards season) to make her something they don't sell. I'm sure for that yes, there were other design houses that said hell no. When Queen Latifah was nominated for her Oscars, her stylist (who dressed plus size women) had to find her a dress in her size and have it fitted. Times have changed for the better.

There was a lot of diversity this year. Mo'Nique's Tadashi dress was really pretty (although I liked the purple shorter version she wore on Oprah's after show better). Jennifer Lopez's Armani Prive was amazing! Latifah made a great choice in Badgley Mishka. Nicole Richie was stunning in her size zero vintage Reem Acra gown. Gaby was stunning in her Marchesa. These are women who've learned to make fashion work on their bodies, no matter what type of body they have. But the fashion community doesn’t know what to do with the change or how to address it. I'll be interested to see how the fashion shows describe Gaby. The last time, they kind of gave her the "aww poor thing, she's trying" critique. Let's see if they can say anything genuinely good or bad about her dress. Set her size aside and truly critic the look. Can they treat her like they do every other person on the carpet?

I highly doubt that the couture, runway show, trend setting segment of the fashion industry will embrace women like Gabourey anytime soon. They're just getting around to digging Latifah. But I think we're a step closer to addressing these crazy body issues in the industry. For the past year, the fashion industry has been under fire for having sickly skinny runway models following the death of more than one girl. And there are campaigns everywhere hoping to address obesity in our community as well. Trust me, I'm trying to get myself together too. But until everyone is exactly where they want to be, we should start practicing a little self love and Gaby sets a great example.

BTW, check out one of my favs from Marchesa's Spring 2010 show.

J*Davey live at The Roxy March 3, 2010

2010-03-05T09:14:00.000-08:00

Miss Jack Davey from CWG Magazine's review of the show.

Just wanted to share my pics from one the THE BEST J*Davey shows I've ever been too!! That says a lot because they never disappoint. I have video too, but the singing along and the drunk queens screaming lyrics next to me fucked up my audio. So I added a little live snippet of Get Together (my favorite J*Davey song of the moment) I found on youtube. In or out of focus...you get it!