Here’s the man himself out running Messi to score for Brazil in an international friendly.

So the season is over and now is the time to look back on what has been a frantic, exciting and sometimes amusing nine months of football. Here are my top five moments of the season that brought a smile to my face.

5) Hiddink and Abramovich dance-off
Popular boss Guus Hiddink had already given us a brief hint of his dancing skills at his final league game at Stamford Bridge when he gave a little jig on the touchline. But fresh from his FA Cup victory over Everton Hiddink went all the way and, complete with huge cigar, gave us some sort of Russian/African fusion dance alongside Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich. It was the sort of moment that makes us wish Hiddink was sticking around in the Premier League for longer.

4) Phil Brown sings
After guiding Hull to Premier League safety, despite only winning one of their last 21 games, Phil Brown decides to celebrate by grabbing a microphone and leading the crowd in a sing-song from the centre circle. Memories of Delia Smith spring to mind…..

3) ITV’s Tic-Tac moment
After broadcasting 118 minutes of turgid, yet frantic, football between Everton and Liverpool an error in the ITV machine due to the match going to extra time meant that some viewers were treated to a Tic-Tac advert, only to return to the action as the Everton players celebrated their last minute winner. Cue a rather embarrassed Steve Rider apologising for the cock-up and a rather pleased confectionary manufacturer for a massive PR stunt they didn’t even have to pay for.

2) Phil Brown…again
If Hull had obeyed the relegation odds at the start of the season and gone down many people would have pointed to Boxing Day as a turning point. Brown, incandescent with rage at his team’s limp first-half performance at Man City, decided to conduct his half time team-talk on the pitch, much to the amusement of the crowd. It clearly didn’t work, with just the solitary win throughout the rest of the season, but it remains one of the highlights in a memorable season for the Tigers.

1) Joe Kinnear’s spell at Newcastle
In a season that can only be described as disastrous for Newcastle the infamous choice by owner Mike Ashley to appoint old school boss Joe Kinnear was one of a number of decisions that put the Magpies in the spotlight for the wrong reasons. There was, of course, the infamous rant in Kinnear’s opening press conference when he swore 52 times in only five minutes - hardly a way of endearing yourself to the press and convincing them you belong in the modern era of football. He then upset midfielder Charles
N’Zogbia, calling him Charles ’Insomnia’ in a post-mach interview. N’Zogbia, so incensed, promptly asked for a transfer – though the words ‘rat’ and ’sinking ship’ come to mind. Sadly Kinnear’s much publicised health problems came to the surface and he was forced to take time off in February. Ironically enough though out of the four managerial reigns at the club this season Kinnear had the best record, and his blunt and honest approach endeared him to many people in these days of media-savvy bosses giving stock responses to journalists’ questions. Get well soon Joe!

The 2008/09 has certainly been the year of the rant. Whether it is the intense pressure of the modern game or the glare of the media spotlight that has tipped people over the edge I don’t know - but it has provided immense entertainment for the fans.
Here are my top five whingers of the season:

5. Didier Drogba

Coming in the immediate aftermath of Chelsea’s agonising last minute defeat to Barcelona in the Champions League semi-final, Didier took offence to the referee, who had turned down four penalty appeals. At the final whistle Drogba, who had limped off as a substitute minutes earlier, stormed over in his flip-flops to the Norwegian official to make his feelings known. He then ran up to the live TV camera shouting “It’s a f***ing disgrace” to millions of TV viewers across the country. Methinks a UEFA ban will be on its way to Drogba after his latest performance.

See Didier Drogba - It’s a Disgrace

4. Joe Kinnear

A surprise choice for the Newcastle job back in October, the former Wimbledon boss came out fighting in what is surely one of the most bizarre press conferences of all time. Here is an extract:

Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird?
Bird: Me.
JK: You’re a ****.
Bird: Thank you.

Classic stuff.

3. William Gallas

This moody Frenchman always has a problem with something and has a bit of previous when it comes to controversy. Even when he was winning the league at Chelsea he kept trying to engineer a move to AC Milan. Then while at Arsenal, in February 2008, he was so furious at a team-mate for giving away a last minute penalty at Birmingham he started to storm off the pitch, kicking the advertising hoardings on the way, before refusing to leave the pitch altogether at the final whistle. Then to top that this year, in November 2008 he decided to slag off his team-mates in the press. He was promptly dropped and stripped of the captaincy and it remains to be seen whether he will be at Arsenal next season.

2. Phil Brown

His chairman was talking about Hull upsetting the Premier League odds and qualifying for Europe at Christmas but now they are on the brink of relegation after a disastrous 2009. Many people point to Boxing Day as a turning point of the season. Furious at his side’s first half performance at Man City Phil Brown marched his players onto the pitch at half-time and conducted his team-talk from there. It didn’t work as Hull still lost 5-1 and have failed to win a game since.

1. Rafa Benitez.

Ah, who else but Rafa at his gloriously funny if random rant at Fergie in January. In a pre-planned speech (he had it written down on a piece of paper) Rafa accused Fergie of among other things influencing referees and listed several other ‘facts’. If it was an attempt to beat Fergie at mind games it didn’t work as United went on a 14-match unbeaten run without conceding a goal en-route to an 18th league title while Liverpool stuttered.

Here is some of the rant for your own amusement:

“During the Respect campaign – and this is a fact – Mr Ferguson was charged by the FA for improper conduct after comments made about Martin Atkinson and Keith Hackett. He was not punished. He is the only manager in the league that cannot be punished for these things.

“Then he was talking about the fixtures. Two years ago we were playing a lot of early kick-offs away on Saturdays when United were playing on Sundays. And we didn’t say anything. Now he is complaining about everything, that everybody is against United.

“…..Here is another option. That Mr Ferguson organises the fixtures in his office and sends it to us and everyone will know and cannot complain. That is simple.

“We know what happens every time we go to Old Trafford and the United staff. They are always going man to man with the referees, especially at half-time when they walk close to the referees and they are talking and talking.

“All managers need to know is that only Mr Ferguson can talk about the fixtures, can talk about referees and nothing happens.

“We need to know that I am talking about facts, not my impression. There are things that everyone can see every single week.”

Etc etc etc etc……..

I don’t understand what the commentators were apologizing for the game ended well into the watershed.

See Drogba’s Reaction