It's Funny How: Life's Biggest Lessons Un-wrapped

Redirecting to WordPress

2012-09-06T07:29:00.001-07:00

So I know most of my friends/fellow bloggers are split up...some here, some on Wordpress.

I tend to post more on WordPress, so instead of duplicating, I'm going to just redirect you all to that blog.....Hope you'll follow me there too!!

Bree

Thought Provoking Moments <--Check out my WordPress blog here.....

10 Things I Hate...... (Part 1)

2010-11-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a minute, but today has been an interesting day, so there will be 2 parts.... which leads me to this post....... I've learned yet another lesson in my quest of life.....

I AM EXTREMELY ILL-TEMPERED!

I've always had a relatively short fuse, but today I learned that my fuse is.... officially gone... LOL

Let me explain.

I went to the dentist today, a place I HATE! Although they aren't numero uno on my list of "10 Things I Hate," they are pretty close.... Not only did those heifers try to get me for my money, they originally tried making me feel stupidly "special." When the office manager or whatever the hell you wanna call her realized I wasn't slow and that she couldn't talk circles around me, she decided I was much brighter than the she implied and backed off. Needless to say, I got my money and on my way I went..... (Not before my "ill-tempered mannerisms" kicked into high gear though!)

So, the day continues...

(Tomorrow I have a root canal. My first ever....I'll let you know how that goes and if I even make it into the chair....)

Before I get to babbling, let me just give you my list. You'll figure it out if you know me. Otherwise, just imagine a multi-racial red-head woman with an attitude... who's from the south by the way, and you'll get it!

10. I can't stand smacking and slurping. There's just something about the sound that makes my skin crawl. My husbands love his "Honey-Nut Cheerios" and does it solely for the reaction. One day, he will never eat Cheerios again......

9. Mumbling. I'm getting older and wiser, but my ears seem to be getting worse. SPEAK THE HELL UP! There's nothing more aggravating than someone trying to make me feel deaf cause they can't speak clearly. I guess we'll just be 2 non-communicating folks, cause I can't hear shit.

8. BLADES and ELBOWS! (some places call them SPOKES) If there are 2 types of automobile rims in this world that I HATE with a passion, those are the 2. Although they are high in demand and some have even given their lives for them, I will NEVER, let me repeat, NEVER EVER EVER own any. Ugh, I live in "SLAB" country....

7. When a restaurant can't comprehend "Well-Done!" It never fails, I always end up with under-cooked meat... Well, by my expectations and standards, it's not done. Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to show my "true-colors," that's just one thing I won't do in any situation where my food is involved. 'Cause if a bitch spits in my shit............ (See what I mean by "ill-tempered?")

6. When people cut me off on the road. Need I say more???? LOL

5. The way Californian's talk. It's quite hilarious to me and I'm pretty sure they feel the same about me with my heavy accent. But what's with all the extra annunciations of each letter and syllable? Not to mention the "high-talk". We all know you toke it, cuz California promotes it! LOL But really though.... relax... you're not in English class anymore. No need for the prim and proper.... Come see us southerners and add a little "twang" to your tongue.... ;)

4. Walking and texting. The next idiot that decides to walk in front of me while texting and not paying attention...I swear I'm going to make them fall! Hey, then they can trade places with me at the dentist...LOL think I won't??????

3. The lack of walking space in the mall. I think there should be a law in the mall corridor to the same extent as there is on a one-way. You cannot walk both directions on either side. ONE-WAY
PEOPLE! Maybe I should start being like my husband and letting others move out the way or let 'em get hit. Didn't a certain rapper have a song with such a title??? "Move Bitch, Get Out The Way...."

2. The Dentist! I don't do drills, scraping, pulling, cracking, or the whole needle in my mouth to make me feel nothing game. It's a lie I tell ya, cuz I can still feel it! No way, no how. If I can avoid it, I will do so for as long as humanly possible. I'm pretty sure that's why I'm in the "root-canal" mess I'm in as it is. Oh well......NEXT!

1. People. Not all people, but most. Specifically the ones that are ignorant, stupid, fake, liars, cheaters, and those that are plumb lazy. (I'll save my experiences with each one of these types for another day....) I believe that I just included everybody.... By the way, I'm NOT sorry if you're offended. So basically, if you are, that just means by my account, that you fall into one or more of those categories! LOL

I was going to delve further into detail about my dislikes, but I think I'll spare you for the moment and save the rest for "Part 2."

See ya after the "Root-Canal!"

Bree's Bucket List w/A twist...

2010-04-24T00:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so everyone has them...I guess I need one too. Although the movie itself--which was "make-a-grown-man-cry" and "tear-jerkingly" great--was inspiring, mine isn't exactly "heart-wrenching." It's just a mix of admirable, far-fetched, crazily stupid, and yet rewarding things I'd like to do before my physical presence is wiped from this earth...

The last 5 spots are blank for a reason--I'm open to suggestions--got any ideas????

Enjoy!

Bree's Bucket List:

1. Gain a little more patience.
2. Paint an abstract mural on a wall in my house.
3. Get through an entire day w/out using profanity...yeah right!
4. Quit smoking!!! <--YEA! Did that cold-turkey on 8/12/09
5. Have a yard-sale.
6. Give a homeless person $100.
7. Have a song aired on the radio.
8. Have 4 kids.
9. Completely restore a 1978 Chevy Nova Rally.
10. Visit Trinidad & Tobago at least twice more. (family there!)
11. Host a HUGE holiday block party in my subdivision. <--great way to piss of the HOA, lol
12. Learn how to relax!
13. Run in a 25 mile marathon. <--notice I didn't say complete....
14. Clean out my garage. <--you should see it....
15. Try oysters, calimari, & caviar. <--YUKK!! There's just something gross about that thought! GAG
16. Win the lottery!!!!
17. Play the lottery!!!!
18. Drive thru every state in the U.S.
19. Learn how to knit. <--I think that's where number one comes in...
20. Eat a bowl full of poblanos...
21. Right my wrongs.
22. Attend my 25 year class reunion.
23. Buy a house in Belize.
24. Race a bike (crotch-rocket) in a competition.
25. Design and build a custom home.
26. Donate marrow.
27. Drive a NASCAR... <--watch out Danica!
28. Tour every country in the world. <--only 153 of 192 left to go! (39 visited)
29. Start/Run a business.
30. Coach a youth basketball team.
31. Plant a tree.
32. Read War and Peace. <--Thanks Mitch for that idea! Sounds like a good read....
33. Remain married for at least 25 years. <--18 to go....
34. East the most expensive dinner I can find.
35. Drive a Testarosa.
36. Adopt a Meerkat. <--It better not bite!
37. Cater an event.
38. Be featured in a magazine.
39. PAY OFF ALL MY DEBT!!!!! <--Not likely!
40. See my bank account reach at least $1 million.
41. Attend a midnight madness of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
42. Perform at the Apollo Theatre.
43. Write a book/memoire.
44. Host a family reunion.
45. Live to see 100 years old.
46. Skydive
47. Swim with a dolphin.
48. Pick up a snake. <--I'm TERRIFIED of them!
49. Get my husband to attend an Opera. <--Doubt it!
50. Meet the Artist formerly known as Prince. <--Is that his name now, or is it back to Prince??
51. Teach my husband Spanish (Puerto-Rican dialect) and Creole.
52. Bungee jump.
53. Travel back in time.
54. Invent a software program.
55.
56.
57.
58.
59.
60.

So there's my list.....It's not the whole list, but you get the idea....I'll add more as I find things I want to do. If you got something you think I might enjoy, let me know!

Ciao!

The Best "I'm Sorry" Ever....

2010-03-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

So after one of my what seems to be daily bouts of negativity with my husband, I felt like a card might do the trick of apologizing for me better than I could myself. Wal-Mart has a pretty decent array of "get-your-ass-out-of-the-doghouse-quick" cards...

I like the Mahogany line that Hallmark has. A little on the urban side, and alot of them say things better than you could have if it came from your own mouth! (At least without it sounding like a pile of rubbish..)

It took a minute to find the perfect card, but here's the words that brought even me, a woman that doesn't really cry to tears in the middle of the store....

*Warning: You might want to grab some tissue, tears inevitable.... :)*

Baby, we've been through the wringer lately.
And we've both done and said things
  we're probably wishing
   we could take back
   right about now.
That's what happens when life
  gets too intense.
Even lovers can get blindsided
  and act the fool.
But here's the thing...
I refuse to trash something as powerful
  as our love just because
   we've had some drama.
Uh-uh. Nope.
I'd much rather put drama in its place--
  the past.
And stand up for what is true today.
What is true today, Baby,
  is I love you.
And I'm sorry for things I said
  when I was upset.
Things I didn't mean
  and would never say
   when I'm calm and thinking straight.
So please let me take back
  those foolish words.
If we're going to throw something away,
  let's throw away all that craziness
   and promise to do better
   from now on.

I cried, even when signing "I'm Sorry." LOL, how many times do we women really admit we're wrong? I did that day. Saying you're sorry can be alot harder than admitting you're wrong......Whoever wrote that card deserves an award.... :)

Thanks again Hallmark, and to the people behind the Mahogany line.......

Marriage: The most difficult lesson of all.......

2010-03-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

No one ever told me that marriage was definitely going to be one of the hardest jobs I'd ever hold in my life.....

Not that it changes anything--but over the years--I have found that this phase in life is rather difficult. How on earth do you prepare for such a "roller coaster" ride?

Definitely NOT by reading a fairytale, watching movies, and observing others....I'd have to say by "trial & error." Fairytales are just that...fantasies, movies--another proud product of the human imagination, and observing others--well that's just asking for trouble....LOL

Why this post? Well, I'm married of course.... (did ya really think I was anything but??)

For those that know my husband and I, we are often stared at, laughed at, and told we have an uncanny resemblance to a couple that's been married for a very, very, very long time. (I think the humor in that went way over my head a few times before I actually understood the meaning behind it..) Of course the stares aren't necessarily in a bad way, (other than the occasional eyebrow raising) the laughter is usually at the silliness that we display, and the love that we definitely share for each other above and beyond anything else.....

But yet, I still want to wring his neck.....DAILY! Is that normal? I think it is....I can't tell you how many nights he's pissed me off--we fight, we argue, he ignores me--and he's the one who goes to bed with what seems to be not a care in the world.....yet I'm left pacing the kitchen, aggrivated, ready to tear the walls down in the house, and sleeping on the edge of the mattress, while he's on his side of the bed just snoring his ass off... (you have no idea!)

*TIP: If you want to piss your spouse/significant other off, go to sleep on 'em....works every time! Make sure you do it in the heat of an argument or conversation though....It's a surefire way to put your ass in the "doggy-house!" (Now before you all go and get your undies in a knot, that's just my being facetious kicking in...)*

Okay, back to the lesson learned.....

The other day, while in transit to an outlet mall in our town, we started arguing about his dire need to speed...I hate pedal pushers by the way. The speed limit was 30 MPH in the area that we were in, and hubby over there in the driver's seat decided that 40 was more acceptable to him. Well, if you know me you know that I don't play that. I asked him to slow down and he didn't, so I told him to stop the truck and let me out. To my surprise he did...HA! Unbelievable. I was livid. He pulled off--I started walking. Would you believe that my "idiot-at-the-moment" husband left me there to walk all because I didn't get back in the truck when he turned around??? Sad, but true....

While on my little "exercise endeavor," (my walk home that is--we were only a couple of blocks away) I had a moment to myself. Being a thinker, all of the scenarios played out in my head, had I gotten the last word. But the path home was rather calming I admit. I tend to be a little on the hot-headed side at times, letting my temper get the better part of me. When I finally walked in the door, I had no desire to let him win, nor the energy to fight. So I just told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore, and we proceeded to our original destination. The ride was rather quiet, but in the end...I was at peace....with myself.

Under any other circumstances, I'd have opened a can of whoop-ass on him and that very well would have been the end of a perfectly good marriage. But, I learned a very valuable lesson that day.....No matter who's right or wrong, sometimes neither's opinion or stance is the solution. The hardest thing in the world for me to do is to bite my tongue when I have something to say. But yet, keeping quiet gave me a better result than I could have ever imagined. I regained a sense of peace that I didn't have before. Much less, the definition of "patience" is almost non-existent in my mental dictionary--I just don't have much of it to acknowledge it.

In the end, I came to realize that "growing" continues throughout life no matter your age, and I must say....

I grew a little more the other day!