It's just me... Heidi-D

Advice

2011-12-27T13:29:00.000-06:00

Every Tuesday I read my horoscope as posted at Real Detroit Weekly... Last week was so chaotic that I didn't get around to it. Today I decided to see what I had missed before they update for this week (which usually happens on Tuesday afternoon).

What did I find? Read below:

"You're at a tipping point, wondering whether to stick it out or let go of everything and leave all of this behind. It's not that you're dissatisfied; it's just that you see the writing on the wall and you want to be ahead of the game. Give your decision time to simmer. Nothing needs to be done quite yet. In the meantime, gather your resources, think long and hard about what you'd be doing next if you had a choice, and make sure that you give yourself a wide berth when it comes to the realm of possibilities. Your instincts and your intuition speak the truth; listen to them."

How true it was! I only wish I had read it earlier in the week so I felt more confident in my decisions. I am not one that places much faith in horoscopes... But what can I say? When it fits... It fits...

Music Monday

2011-12-12T16:10:00.001-06:00

Yes. I realize I posted two videos of the same song... But I like them both. Deal with it!Happy Monday!

Music Monday

2011-12-05T09:58:00.001-06:00

This song makes me want to dance... Happy Monday everyone!!!

Music Monday

2011-11-28T14:12:00.001-06:00

Song of the day...

Hello Happy

2011-11-18T10:27:00.001-06:00

I am not one to place much faith in horoscopes... But I have to say... This one kinda made my day!

"You could be feeling better about things than you've felt in a long time. There are plenty of reasons to suspect that you've come out of the woods with a new attitude and a whole new situation. Recent changes have forced you to look more than one thing in the eye. In the act of getting straight with yourself you have learned as much about others – whatever has been revealed has allowed you to move on with your life. Love always has everything to do with it in your world. Right now, for the first time in your life, you are starting to know what that means."

So this is what "the other side" of miserable looks like!

Find your horoscope at Read Detroit Weekly

Brunette?

2011-11-14T15:34:00.001-06:00

This is the darkest my hair has been in... Well... Ever.

Veterans Day

2011-11-11T15:48:00.001-06:00

I can never express how thankful I am for the soldiers in my life... Especially my dad. Today we honor you.

Let’s honor our military,
The men and women who serve,
Whose dedication to our country
Does not falter, halt or swerve.
Let’s respect them for their courage;
They’re ready to do what’s right
To keep America safe,
So we can sleep better at night.
Let’s support and defend our soldiers,
Whose hardships are brutal and cruel,
Whose discipline we can’t imagine,
Who follow each order and rule.
Here’s to those who choose to be warriors
And their helpers good and true;

They’re fighting for American values;
They’re fighting for me and you.
By Joanna Fuchs

Baby It's Cold Outside

2011-11-10T10:37:00.001-06:00

We had our first dusting of snow in the last 24 hours.

It isn't much, but it is the beginning of the descent into the next Minnesota winter.

As much as I will regret saying this come January and February... I am kind of looking forward to it!

You see, winter is the lazy season. Nobody thinks anything of it if you just decide to hunker down in your living room with a stack of DVDs, a snuggie and some hot chocolate. And with the pace that my life has been moving during this last year, slowing down sounds like a really great idea!

I also like the way this time of year feels. As we get older we tend to lost the magic that Christmas held when we were children... But somehow I am still allowed at least one little wave of excitement to remind me of the good old days! It usually comes right around deer season. I have always attributed it to the massive deer camp that got set up at my house when I was growing up. Uncles, cousins, family friends, neighbors... Everyone would spend opener weekend at our house. There were hundreds of stories exchanged over the breakfast table, the house was full of laughter and excitement.That weekend marked the beginning of my countdown to Christmas, and I suppose in some ways it still does!

I am not one of those girls that participates in winter sports. I lack the coordination and agility, and while I wouldn't call myself clumsy - I do try and limit myself to simply walking on ice and snow. It has been years since I have suffered an injury due to slipping and falling on the ice ::knock on wood:: - and I fully intend to keep it that way. That said, I still enjoy a few outdoor activities! Sledding, tubing and my personal favorite - sleigh rides... Snowshoeing, snow forts, snowmen...

Oh the possibilities!

Photo Credit to Ben Larson - Thanks Ben!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Halloween 2011

2011-11-09T11:39:00.000-06:00

Bad Example

2011-11-08T11:14:00.000-06:00

Song of the day!

I have been spending WAY more time than is healthy listening to this album...

Gotta love some strong and spunky women... Way to go ladies!

My Beef with Technology

2011-11-08T10:51:00.001-06:00

This was not the post I intended for this morning... But I need to whine a little bit!

I'm kind of a geek. I enjoy gadgets and playing around with new technology.

I'm kind of like this, only without the mustache... I think...

I Love Technology
(Enjoy the commercials in Spanish before hand! It was the best version I could find...)

So... I couple of months ago I bought the iPhone 4. I have never really been one to jump on the Apple bandwagon, but I suppose phone-envy set in when my roommate bought one - and I just couldn't resist.

At first I was entirely underwhelmed. I didn't understand what all the hype was... It was just a phone, after all. It may have had something to do with my history in the phone sales gig, but it didn't seem all that special to me!

Since that time, my iPhone and I have worked out our differences - and I was actually quite pleased with it.

Until Sunday night.

Any of you that use an iPhone/iPad know about the iOS updates that Apple pushes. Well, I decided that it was time to just get it over with and upgrade to iOS5. I tethered my phone, opened iTunes and waited for the magic to happen.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

FINALLY - the backup of my phone was done, the restore point was created and it was time to do the iOS upgrade.

I clicked that I agreed to start the update, watched the screen on my iPhone switch to syncing...

And...

Just when I thought things were going along smoothly an error message stating that my backup and restore point creation were unsuccessful.

No big deal, right? I will just stop the iOS update and try to create them again!

WRONG!!!

Long story short (in an attempt to limit the geeking-up of your screen) - I lost EVERYTHING! The rest of my evening was spent trying to undo the damage caused by this simple iOS upgrade!

I did manage to track down my music, apps, and MOST of my contacts... But I can't help but feel like that is 4 hours of my life I will never get back!

Technology... You're on my list!

Welcome To Deer Camp

2011-11-07T16:47:00.001-06:00

This weekend marked the beginning of the Minnesota White-Tailed Deer Season... A holiday for many members of my family and friends! While I have never participated in the hunt myself, I still get excited for them this time of year.

Good luck hunters! Be safe... This one is for you!

**Warning... Excessive Minnesota accent in this video. Watch at your own risk!**

Tailgates & Tanlines

2011-11-07T16:25:00.000-06:00

I wrote a whole long post about this from my iPhone this weekend... But it DIED on me, and apparently never updated my blog with my posts.

I am about to quit technology for good!

It may be a fortunate error though... Because my original post didn't have pictures like THESE:

Photo courtesy of Google Images

This lovely piece of man-meat is Luke Bryan... And let me tell ya! He knows how to work his country mojo on the stage.

On Saturday night, I was blessed with wonderful company and 4 tickets to CMT on Tour: Tailgates and Tanlines 2011 tour. I have to say - it was one of the most fun filled and excitement packed nights I have had in a long time!

Was it because of the 4-man serving of redneck hotness that I witnessed that night?

Courtesy of Google Images

Well... It sure didn't hurt!

What? I've Been Busy!

2011-11-04T10:58:00.000-05:00

So many new and exciting things have been going on in my life in the last year!

I can only assume that the majority of the people that are still reading my posts are friends and family who already know about most of it... But in the hopes that I still have some other readers out there, as well as continuing with the idea that this blog will mark the milestones of my life, I will try and update everyone in this post. I apologize in advance if it seems to drone on and on and you begin to feel like it will never end. Much like that last sentence.

After Tom left I wasn't really sure what I was going to do. Financially, I had barely enough money coming in every month to cover the debt that we had accumulated in my name during our short time together - and nowhere near enough to live on. Step one was to drag myself to the bank, explain my situation, and see about refinancing so I could manage my life on one income.

Surprisingly enough, that went well! My dad (best friend and super hero), who has always been there if I needed him, came along to hold my hand and help me navigate the process - because, let's face it... I wasn't the most stable minded person at the time. So, with his help and the help of a wonderful bank, I lumped all of my debt together and got to a place where I could at least manage to pay my bills AND eat all in the same month.

After I got my debt to a manageable level... What did I decide to do? MAKE MORE of course!

I enrolled in our local technical college nursing program, and I am happy to say that it is going really well!!! I will be a licensed LPN in Minnesota by the first part of August, if all things go as planned. From there I plan to go on to complete my associate's RN, followed by my bachelor's... And FINALLY - I would like to round it all out with my master's degree. Because you know what they say, right? Go BIG or go HOME!

During this whole process, I decided I should start looking for a roommate. Nobody that I knew was looking for a place, and for the first 6 months I lived alone... But, low and behold, luck shined on me eventually! One of my long-time friends was moving back up north from the Twin Cities and... GUESS WHAT?!?! She wanted to move in with ME! I was a little nervous about it because I had never had a roommate before, and I am known to have a few OCD tendencies. I figured that I would drive her bonkers and she would be moving out before you know it! But... GUESS WHAT ELSE?!?! She is the greatest roommate EVER and I couldn't be happier that she decided to move in!

About the time I refinanced, I also decided it would be wise to try and sell my condo. It was listed for something like 9 months with almost ZERO interest, so I pulled it from the market. My theory was that I had a roommate and would wait until next spring to list it again, but the universe had a different plan for me! I listed it again last week due to "complications" with one of the association board members for our little development. That would be a post all in itself, so I won't get into much detail here. All I will say is that I have now learned that I am most definitely not meant to live somewhere that so closely resembles prison. Especially when the woman running the show treats nagging the residents of HER association like it is her full-time job. Mmmmmkay, moving on!

So now the new roomy and I are crossing our fingers, hoping the house will sell! It gives us an excuse to look at houses online and dream of all the fun decorating ahead! I still intend to build, but it is too late in the year to start that now... So I will postpone that little project should my house sell quickly and I find myself in a situation that requires me to move in the middle of an ARCTIC Minnesota winter. If my house doesn't sell as quickly as I would like... Who knows?!?! I might just find myself diving headfirst into a home building project next spring! That would be a fun adventure, no? Add that to my full-time work schedule, my full-time school schedule, and my misadventures in dating... And you all might get to watch me melt-down first hand!

Oh yeah... Did you notice that? I slipped in the dreaded "D" word. More on that soon...

Let's Have a Party

2011-11-03T14:48:00.000-05:00

I needed a laugh today, and this was it! Hope everyone is having a wonderful day : )

On This Day...

2011-11-02T14:49:00.002-05:00

November 2nd, 1898 - Cheerleading is started at the University of Minnesota

November 2nd, 1947 - The Spruce Goose flies

November 2nd, 1957 - UFO Sitings in Levelland, Texas.

And on this day in 2010... My husband left.

To think that a year ago I was going through some really difficult times makes me marvel at how much difference one year can make in a person's life. I am nowhere near that place now!

I wrote about Tom leaving in the weeks and months that followed his unexpected exodus from our life... That is what I do to deal with things. I write about them. Once I got it all out, I was done with it.

Lately, I haven't been writing. I haven't been inspired to write.

When I think about the list of reasons that my words just aren't flowing, it occurs to me that it could all boil down to one simple statement.

I AM CONTENT.

For the first time it what feels like... Ever...

I like me. Sure - there are things that cause me stress and life is never perfect... But I really, truly, way down deep feel GLAD to be where I am!

This is the part where I list the things that ROCK about my life these days...

First and foremost - my family is, and always will be, the most important part of my life. There is nothing that I can do or say to express the level of gratitude that I feel for having such amazing people in my life. I am blessed! I would like to point out right here that the majority of the friends in my life fall into this category as well... I have such incredible friends that they are as much family to me as anyone!

My dog, Emma. Enough said.

Endless possibilities. I am fortunate enough to be living through a phase in my life where my possibilities are endless and I can't say just how satisfied that makes me feel! I am going to school (and LOVING IT), I am working, I am on the go all the time! Apparently, the busier the better...

On Monday I was talking on the phone with my best guy friend and he said that lately I just "glow"... Without skipping a beat I said simply...

"That's because I'm happy."

And guess what...

I meant it!

So take note, people!

On this day in 2011...

I am perfectly content to simply be me!

I Procrastinate...

2011-11-01T22:46:00.001-05:00

It is 10:43pm on November 1st and I have just NOW decided to participate in NaBloPoMo... I will explain that in better detail tomorrow because... Guess what?

I Procrastinate...

What? At least I admit it!

I will do a better job tomorrow. I promise!

**Updated 11/02**

NaBloPoMo means National Blog Posting Month. That means that for the next 30 days... I will be posting... Get this...

Every.

Single.

Day.

::GASP::

I know, right? Madness... But I need to do something to get these words out of my head!

The Soundtrack of My Life

2011-10-20T10:32:00.000-05:00

A while back my roommate and I went to see the movie "Drive". If you haven't seen it yet, I HIGHLY recommend it. That said, it is a movie you will either LOVE or HATE. We loved it... The artistry, the acting, the imagery, the MUSIC!!! Oh the music... This movie paid some serious homage to the 80's. Which is why the soundtrack to that movie has become the soundtrack to our life!

Whenever we find ourselves getting ready to go out, we bust out the iPhones and play a song or two from the movie.

I thought that today I might share one of those tunes with you... Enjoy!

The Night I Fell

2011-10-19T23:03:00.001-05:00

I open the door and am rushed back in time. As if my patio door was also a portal to a time nearly forgotten.

I find myself weighed down under the massive pressure of memories flooding my brain. It must be something like being caught by raging flood-waters. I am paralyzed by the vividness of it all.

There I am. Younger. Sweeter. I am walking. I look up at a sky so dark and rich, full of stars - shimmery and magical. It is so crisp and cool outside that my breath clouds my view of the sky. I take another step and hear the crunching of snow beneath my boots. My mind wanders to the concerns of the day, and I think to count my blessings on such a majestic evening.

Image courtesy of Google Images

A hand reaches to grab my own and I am reminded that I am not alone. My hand fits in his perfectly, even though they are both gloved against the Minnesota cold. We walk together, hand-in-hand, along the driveway. Pine trees draped in pure white snow line our path. The moon is bright and makes the blanket of snow look more like the landscape is covered in tiny diamonds.

There is conversation. This part of my memory has escaped me. Our words were less important on this occasion. There is smiling and laughing and the inescapable presence of infinite possibilities. We stroll along with a carefree mood that only exists when you are of that magical age. Enough of life is behind you that you are confident and full of hope, but not so much that you are damaged by your experiences or tainted by fear.

A perfect moment. One of the few that we are blessed with during our time together. Nothing else mattered. The world was so far away, but our future was so close that we need only look at each other to see it.

I knew in that moment that I needed him like I needed oxygen. For the first time in my life I knew, without a doubt, that I was in love. A head-over-heels, sick to my stomach, heart shattering kind of fairytale love.

Years later, when things had shifted for us and the bottom fell out of our life, we talked about that night. The night that we both knew we had found our place in this world. The memory of that night and that love kept us together for several more years. Even through unimaginable hardships, it was enough to make us try and work things out...

I am a different person now, but to this day the memory makes my heart hurt with the love I felt. I can still smell the air, feel the cold, hear the breeze and our footsteps. I still feel the shape of his hand through the course wool mittens I wore.

Is there anything so magical or painful as falling in love?

I Remember...

2011-09-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

Fluorescent lighting.

A damp smell, the smell of things that have been in storage for too long.

I remember walking down the long storage room toward the office, looking at the odd small set of stairs that led to the half-floor where we stored old paperwork.

I remember it being chilly.

It was the start of a regular day, at my regular job, at the seemingly inconsequential department store which ended up shaping so much of my life up to this point.

What I DO NOT remember is how I found out. I can't recall who told me. It had to be a co-worker. All of the "lifers" were there that day.

I don't remember much about the rest of that day, to be honest - just how awestruck I was.

Surreal. That is the word I would use to describe my initial reaction.

There was no way any of what I was hearing could actually be occurring. It was simply. Not. Possible.

At first I thought of Orson Welles and The War of the Worlds. That was the only logical explanation for what I was hearing.

It wasn't until I made my way to the break-room and actually saw some of the images... The images that will forever be burned into the minds of each and every one of us. It was those images that made it all real to me.

Helpless. That is the word I would use to describe the feeling that followed. That is the word I would use to describe how I feel at this very moment.

Shortly after that I began to feel fear and panic and overwhelming sadness.

I wondered where my family was and what they were doing. I probably called them, though I don't remember. So much of the day was a blur after that initial shock.

Recently I went to a movie with my Grandma. In the parking lot following the movie we got to talking. The movie we had been to see was The Help, and in the movie they played some historical news clips. Grandma was telling me that she could remember watching the clips we saw as they were happening, and that she could remember where she was and what she was doing for some of them.

September 11th, 2001 was one of those days for me. I will remember that day forever. I will remember what I was wearing. I will remember where I was and what I felt.

So many things have changed since that day. People have come and gone from my life. I am nowhere that I had planned to be. It feels like yesterday, but also like it was a lifetime ago.

No matter what is going on, where I am, or who I am with... The anniversary of that tragic day reminds me to be thankful.

On this day, ten years later, I will count my blessings.

And...

I will remember.

Tell Us The Truth

2011-08-22T17:12:00.001-05:00

Don't you just love a good book?

I know I do. There is nothing as soothing as ending your day immersed in a wonderful story!

Which is why I was SOOO excited to receive a request from Arielle at Bring It On! Communications to start reviewing books for them!!! If you have never heard of them, please follow that link and check out their site.

It has taken me MUCH longer to get this posted than I would have liked (they contacted me on June 16th), but life has a way of running away with me. For that I apologize... AND...

To jump right into my review -

Arielle sent me Lonely Girl, Gracious God - a lovely little non-fiction book, written by an inspirational woman named Lauri Khodabandehloo (say that three times fast)...

The story outlines the struggle of a mother (Lauri) whose youngest daughter (Farema) is born with autism during an era when little was understood about the disability. Lauri writes about the struggles she faced dealing with not only raising (and diagnosing) an autistic daughter and the guilt and doubts she felt - but also raising her three older daughters and supporting her husband in a blossoming restaurant business. In the book, Lauri talks in detail about how navigating through life led her closer and closer to God during a time in which many mothers might lost their faith.

I thoroughly enjoyed this read. Lauri paints a picture of her beautiful daughter trapped within herself and their journey as a family to help Farema find her voice. As a reader you experience the desperation that Lauri must have felt as a mother advocating for her child's future, as well as her own!

My only criticism of this book is that there are no pictures of Farema. In a non-fiction read I always like to have an actual face to go along with the character. It makes my connection to them feel much more real. That said, I did visit the book's website - on which you can view photos and a video of some of the events described in the book.

Over all, I was pleased with this read. There are a number of people that I would recommend it to, most specifically the families that I know who live with autism. So much of what Lauri wrote about is illustrated in the stories that I hear from those families, and her words may be just what they need to get them through some of the difficult times - while giving them somebody to rejoice with during the good times!

Thank you to Bring It On! Communications for this opportunity!

To read more reviews like this one, go to Tell Us The Truth Reviews!

** I don't feel like I should have to say this, but I was advised to point out that I have not been compensated for this review. It is an honest opinion based on my experiences with Bring It On!, Tell Us The Truth Reviews, their employees as well as their products and authors.**

*Since the initial contact from Bring It On!, Arielle has been replaced by Kit Tosello. They have been wonderful to work with and I would highly recommend it!*

Abuse and Excess - A Broad Spectrum

2011-05-31T20:54:00.000-05:00

I am not a person that watches the news or keeps up on current events.

I know. It's terrible of me. Don't judge.

To be blatantly honest...I just don't CARE that much. I care so little, to tell you the truth, that I don't even have TV. If I can't get it on Netflix through my Wii - I don't need it. Period.

Does this make me totally out of the loop? No. The highlights still reach me via my father (LOVES the news), my co-workers, Facebook (don't worry - I verify what I find interesting there before I believe it). Natural disasters, updates on politics, the inability of Arnold to keep it in his pants, etc.- I still hear about most of it. (That last one? Yeah... Stuff like that is why I stopped caring about the news.)

So the fact that in the last week four stories have piqued my interest is uncommon. Granted, each case pulls at the heart strings and involves children - so they are all similar in content. However - these stories range so far apart on the compassion spectrum that I hardly consider them alike.

Two of these stories broke my heart.

The first of those two stories was posted by a friend on facebook. I followed the link, not sure what I would find. When I arrived at the WAVY.com website I was instantly saddened. The story of a little girl held captive by her mother and father, only given a minimal amount of food and water (one report says two poptarts a day, another says one poptart and one sandwich a day) all while her younger brother and the DOG were treated better than she was. I kept reading to find that the remains of another child were found on the property. My heart breaks for this little girl.

The second story was a little closer to home. I receive emails from our local paper, one of which linked to an update in this case. Again - two helpless children held captive and refused some of the most basic human necessities by their parents. It is incomprehensible to me that people could ever treat their children that way.

My prayers go out to these children. May they be blessed with only good things from here on out, and may they all see a speedy recovery in both their physical and mental well-being. I also pray that their parents get the help they need and are never allowed to put another child through such a terrible ordeal.

The other two stories surprised me. I am not yet a parent and cannot begin to judge that which I do not know. I will say that they both left me feeling... Perplexed, to say the least.

One story was about a family in Canada who has decided to raise "gender neutral" children. This is a new concept to me. Am I behind the times? Or is this a new concept to everyone?

To be true to myself, I have to say that I think the whole thing sounds a little dangerous. I try to keep an open mind when it comes to how other people raise their children, but this frightens me. To play with a child's identity like that is risky business. My FIRST thought was this... Do they have children with a medical condition that causes it to be impossible to determine a child's natural gender? In that case, this makes more sense to me. To simply NOT make that decision. To let the child be as they are until which time THEY can choose for themselves what gender they were meant to be? If that is NOT the case, though... I would have to say I object to this attempt to allow their children to "express themselves". I am all for allowing your children to be who they are... But to me? This seems to oppose that ideology by suggesting they should hide the way they were born - to simply avoid identifying with their gender. What do you think?

The last story that caught my eye was actually the story of one of the women to comment in Dr. Drew's discussion of the "gender neutral" idea. It is the story of a mother who has decided to allow her son to express himself however he like... Even if that means wearing dresses to school and calling himself "a princess boy". In my opinion, this is a better alternative to the "gender neutral" idea - but I still find it risky and potentially dangerous option for her young son.

Let me follow that up by saying that the "princess boy's" parents seem fully aware of the risks that may face their son and are doing things to prevent them. Things like educating his school, teachers and students alike. His mother even took the initiative to write a book ( My Princess Boy) to help explain their situation. I have not read the book myself yet - but I would like to. Perhaps it would help me to understand their choice better as well.

Again - I am not trying to pass judgement, nor am I saying that I think allowing their son to express himself in this way is wrong. I simply worry about how he will be treated by children (and realistically, their parents) who naturally react in a hostile manner to that which they are not accustomed, or that which appears out of the ordinary to them. It is true... People fear that which they do not understand.

I really would LOVE some feedback on these last two stories (the first two stories as well, though I am confident we all feel the same way about them). How do you feel about these new approaches to parenting and the idea of gender amongst children? PLEASE - start a (healthy) dialogue in the comments...

To me - these four stories represent both ends of a broad spectrum of parenting ideas. One end, denying your child even their most basic needs like food, water and a bathroom - not to mention the love that all children deserve. On the other, giving your children more freedom to "express" themselves through preventing them from identifying with gender roles, or neglecting to draw guidelines when the safety of your child and their fragile, impressionable heart may suffer - out of what appears to be the most genuine of love and good intentions. I want to believe that we live in a world of acceptance - but we do not.

Clearly on one end - abuse; Perhaps on the other - excess.

** If you know or suspect that child abuse may be occurring in your neighborhood - please contact your local authorities. These things can be reported anonymously, and many children can be helped by simply requesting a welfare-check at their homes. No child deserves to be treated in the manner that is discussed in the first two stories I linked to.**

Information Purge 2011

2011-05-28T13:30:00.004-05:00

Where to begin?

The last HONEST post I wrote was quite a while ago. By “honest” – I do not mean to imply that my posts following it were DIShonest; just that they didn’t expose much of what is going on in my life. Surface level information, if you will.

So – In order to get everyone caught up, I will provide you with the highlights here. As I write a post about each highlight I will come back and link to them in this post – just for those of you who don’t read on a regular basis.

I cannot guarantee that they will be in order of occurrence, but I will try and hit them all. If I think of anything I missed, I will come back and add it later on!

- Tom and I separated in November. Read about it here, here and here.

- I listed my house. I hope it sells soon. My plan after that is unclear.

- I enrolled in college. I start in August. Nursing program here I come!

- I got a puppy! She is NOT a puppy anymore. She is more of a moose.

- My Grandpa passed away. I miss him terribly. Every day.

- I went on vacation! It was wonderful and I needed it more than I knew.

- As of May 25^th, 2011 – I am officially divorced… For the 2^nd time.

That is all I can think of for now. I will fill you all in on the details as the days go on!

Amidst all of this, I have also managed to find a couple of part time jobs and spend a TON of time with my friends and family. I have met new people and found my way back to a lot of the people from my past.

I’m happy! I’m busy and some days overwhelmed by it all… But I am happy.

I really feel like good things are around the corner for me. Life is what you make it, and I intend to make mine into everything I have ever hoped for. I have not done it all right up until this point, and I know it won’t be all glitter and rainbows from here on out – but I intend to make the most of it!

For now, I will leave you with this summary… But the details are soon to come!

Taking Back MY Blog

2011-05-27T17:11:00.001-05:00

I have had a hard time choosing my words here, lately.

I have struggled with what was “safe” to put here, and what isn’t.

I have made it nearly impossible to just let myself write without second-guessing what I say.

It is nobody’s fault but my own. I am in no way placing blame.

I just worry that I might say too much or offend someone. I worry that one of the “real-life” people that read my words might start seeing the “real-life” me differently based on what I say.

I have essentially crippled myself.

Well - NO MORE, I say…

Starting now (and forever-more) I will simply write without considering those of you who read.

No offense. Please don’t take that to mean that I don’t care. It is actually because I DO care that I have to make this change in my space.

You see, when the words come easily - when they flow from my mind so fast that my fingers can’t keep up; those are the times that I feel the most REAL in this space. And my number one goal is to be 100% me in what is solely my own little corner of the internet. I CARE about being real here. I CARE about being genuine because I really do this writing for MYSELF. If I start to censor my own words, is it really me? Because of that… BECAUSE I CARE… I have to allow myself the freedom to just BE.

My recent absence from my blog has come from a number of places.

Burn out – I just couldn’t keep FORCING myself to write when I felt like I had nothing of value to say anymore.

Abundance – part of the reason I felt I had nothing of value to say was because I had SO MUCH to say I couldn’t sort it into neat and clean sentences on a page. The overwhelming abundance of information made it nearly impossible to process without turning my posts into a lot of nonsense spread across a page with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

Time – I simply didn’t have the time to sit down and organize the jumbled mess that is my life these days. I wanted to. Every day. Every. Single. Day.

There is so much I want (and need) to share here! So much I need to get you all caught up on.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of “Information Purge 2011”. Sounds gross, right? Never fear. It will simply be me “vomiting” (for lack of a better term) the information onto the page – just so I can get it out there. Clear my head. Get back on track!

Here we go, folks! Wish me luck. And for those of you still hanging around – thank you for your patience! You mean so much!!!

Cozumel 2011 - Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-11T17:23:00.000-05:00

More to come later this week! Stay tuned!!!