It's like the opposite of Solaris

Update on the DIY Sonos Using Plex

2015-05-08T16:25:00.002-04:00

Now a few months in, I can weigh in on how the DIY Sonos project has gone.

The Good:
Controlling the devices with other devices work well.
Responsive volume change from remote control devices

The Bad:
Once the burner phone screen goes off, the iPad (or other remote) loses connection with it. I have to turn the phone screen back on to get the iPad to reconnect for controlling
Utter (what I'm using for the DIY Echo) has a tendency to screw up playback, and I have to disable Utter

The Unexpected:
If I have a track playing on the living room Plex phone, I can use the iPad to pause that track, then connect the iPad to the kitchen Plex phone and resume. This allows room to room streaming. Sure it's not nearly as swift as Sonos, but I'm doing this on a budget of ~$30 (two phones x $12 each, Plex app for ios and Android ~$5)

Update on DIY Amazon Echo

2015-04-29T12:16:00.001-04:00

An update to this post
I have two ringer phones in always listening states now. One in my kitchen, the other in my living room. The living room phone is hard wired to speakers and uses the phone's mic/receiver to listen. The kitchen phone is largely novelty at this point due to Bluetooth issues which I will explain at the end.

Since the last post, I installed the apps Utter and Commandr and have been messing around with them to create a more fluid Echo-like experience. Both allow more device-specific features than what Google Now offers. One can control volume and open apps on the phone using voice commands.

Utter allows specific voice-wake-words. It essentially works within its own world, but can interact with Google Now and Google servers when it can't figure out what you're asking (or if it needs the internet, like asking about the weather). I set my wake word as Alexa, and with the cheap ZTE phones "she" can typically hear me*. If the TV is on too loud, she may not hear, or get confused from ambient noise. Utter has a pre-set list of commands that it recognizes, but you can also create your own or link Taskr to Utter. It also is always listening if the screen is off.

Commandr integrates into Google Now. So for this app, one still would use "Ok Google" to trigger Google Now. Commandr listens within within Google Now, so if I say "Volume Down", Commandr kicks in and would lower the volume. If the voice command isn't in Commandr's knowledge-range, it doesn't intervene and Google Now continues.

I found that OpenMic+ will goof up Utter, so OpenMic needs to be uninstalled or disabled to get Utter and/or Commandr to work.

Right now, Utter and Commandr together are the closest to a DIY Echo one can make. Although Utter alone is ideal. Tasker is next on my list.

Updated May 4, see below. Using a Bluetooth speaker that has a mic results in some screwiness. Music will come through the speaker, but yelling the voice commands seem to confuse the phone so that it will use the mic in the phone, stop the audio, and then play havoc as to where the TTS results will come from. Sometimes the voice results come out of the handset, sometimes out of the speaker. All in all, this is the next area of focus, because if I can have a lone speaker with a mic in it, and do most assistant-level stuff through it, then we're in business
UPDATE MAY 4
Uninstalling or disabling Commandr allows for a Bluetooth speaker/mic combo to act as an always listening device. So now, only Utter is running in always listening mode. The Anker speaker/mic is paired to any one phone, but the mic is now always listening, with all audio through the speaker. When Commandr was running, it was also always listening in addition to Utter, and confused things to where I never knew where audio was going to come out. Utter wanted to use the Anker, but Commandr kept trying to deliver Google Now commands through the phone speaker.

*Utter allows for a variety of text to speech engines and personalities. I use the default female US Google voice, but you can download voices from IVONA on the Google Play store and use them. I used the female British one, but it was too slow to respond

Waiting for Alexa: The Case of the DIY Amazon Echo

2015-04-20T22:50:00.000-04:00

My Amazon Echo will not arrive until late June. Originally I didn't want one, but after seeing its expansion into controlling Pandora, Spotify, and Google Play Music with just voice commands, I decided to shell the $99 for a Bluetooth speaker that can also set a timer for me without using my hands.

In addition to the DIY Sonos (previous post), I worked on an always listening Google Now setup akin to what the Moto X can do: always listening for the voice trigger.

I created a poor man's Echo. Although this guide is out of date, the idea of command strips was taken from him.
Ingredients:
ZTE Zinger phone, battery removed, wifi and bluetooth on, no SIM card
Anker Bluetooth speaker with built-in mic
Anker USB multiport charger
Command strips

Apps:
Google Now / Launcher
OpenMic+

Hypothesis:
The Zinger is always on, always listening for the trigger phrase. OpenMic+ is an app that is free and allows the phone to be in an always listening state, even with the screen off. The app allows for any trigger phrase, not just the default "OK Google." After the phrase is said and recognized, the OpenMic app then opens Google Now.

Setup:
I set this up in the kitchen, where I use this mostly for setting timers and playing music while cooking.

The phone is command-stripped to the wall, the bluetooth speaker is the black cube. The phone is always plugged in, I removed the battery because I don't need it. The stray wire under the phone is the speaker's micro USB charger when it is needed.

The white Anker USB charging hub (left) is also command stripped to the wall. To the left of the image frame are Koala wall mounts for an iPad 2. My intention is to use it for recipes or cooking how-to instructions (watching Gordon Ramsay make eggs) or whatever I need for that day's meal.

OpenMic hooked in with Google Now really well. While in the kitchen, I can have the bluetooth speaker on/off and yell at Google to find me stuff. Unlike the Echo, Google Now isn't designed to manage things without a screen. For the 30 people in the world who are trying to use Google Now this way, it sucks. It works great for information, it can open apps on command, but it can't control much else. I yell at it to start playing David Bowie in Google Play, and it scans my music and finds an album that has Bowie on it. But if I yell at it to play David Bowie in Spotify, it nails it dead on and queues his songs. I have not tried Pandora. Alexa can skip songs and pause through voice commands. Google Now can not. So to stop the music, I have to either yell "OK GOOGLE" over the music, and have it just sit there doing nothing, or press the play button on the speaker which in that case acts as Pause.

For more Echo-like experience, the speaker (with built in mic) can be taken to another room and still utilize the phone's wifi connection for Google Now. I put the speaker on my dining room table with a pop can next to it for size comparison. The volume is low, so you may need to turn up your speakers.

That's about as close to Alexa as I will get, until the Echo arrives. Of all the Google Now commands, only a few will have any utility without a touch screen to adjust things.

This guy put his components into a PVC tube to better simulate the Echo design. I wouldn't recommend this because Google Now still needs frequent touch input and control.

I have a Zinger in my living/tv room with the always listening ability, but it was too sensitive so I had to turn it off. I'm still working on determining the best phrase and sensitivity in a more active room.

Next up will be putting Tasker and Utter on these burner phones and sorting out higher level commands with voice.

(Updated here)

Game Review: Fields of Battle for Fire TV

2015-01-21T15:53:00.001-05:00

I love the Fire TV. I have a bare minimum cable tv package, and Kodi's addons have given me access to live and archived shows and movies. I also have it pointed to my NAS for local movies.

When it first came out, Amazon wanted gaming to be an important factor for the device. They released their own branded controller and showcased Sev Zero at the intro.

Since its launch, though, there aren't that many good games for it. Sev Zero is intriguing but then becomes tedious unless you have a Goose on a tablet while you Maverick your way through the aliens.

Recently I installed Fields of Battle, a free paintball FPS. More games like this would keep boosting the AFTV as a serious gaming alternative, supplanting Ouya and the Shield. NBA 2K15 lacks a season mode, so I'll wait for it to be on sale before I buy it.
I don't know how to take screen shots from the FTV, so this brief review will be a wall of text.

The game originally came out for android / Fire HD tablets, with the wonky on-screen controls found in FPS tablet games. The AFTV port makes great use of the Amazon controller, and is probably applicable to those using Xbox or PS controllers. Both joysticks are used intuitively and the R2 trigger is the... trigger... for your weapon.

You have a choice of 5-8 scenarios at any given time. The types of game-modes are elimination, capture the flag, and point capture (king of the hill). The venues and game-modes rotate through the day, opening and closing based on a clock connected to each one. The majority of the courses are enjoyable enough, but some modes suit better to certain venues. Venues include the classic outdoor inflatable obstacle courses, uphill mountains, outdoor scattered-debris-and-popup-building plots, an office building, a gas refinery, and an office building.
When you choose your mode, you enter that contest (different from a match) against other players. Unfortunately there is no true multiplayer, you play each game with and against AI, and your score goes up against what the guy in Vietnam or Maine is doing on his end for the same contest. At the end of each game, you get thrown to the contest page where you can see how the other guys are doing, and you can enter a new game immediately to keep scoring against those guys. Each game either ends due to the flag being captured, or after a time limit of typically 2 minutes
At the end of the time limit for the selected contest (usually 5 minutes), you get ranked against the other guys who were playing the same contest. The top three get silver coins.

The in-game currency is silver coins, which you earn by playing contests. There are gold coins which are purchased with real money. With silver coins, you work on getting better or different guns and clothes. I haven't spent a real dollar, and have an adequate variety of guns. I don't have any grenades because I was unaware they were a premium item.

The AI, however, is surprisingly well done. At first I thought I really was playing against real humans, since they didn't have dead-on accuracy and never saw me if I snuck up behind them. When I finally figured out how to play well, I realized that there was no way other humans would be entering the same game at the same time I hit "enter." You don't join a game in progress, it always starts fresh.
The AI is aggressive, but lacks some of the Leroy Jenkins-banzai-kamikaze types found in real life.

Overall, this is a game anyone with a controller connected to their AFTV should have. I have almost achieved the max level, and I'll always out-score people using their tablets because having a physical controller makes a giant difference. I hope to get 30 days of game time out of it before I get tired.

Hopefully by then a good flight sim will come out. It probably won't come out, but I can dream. Maybe someone can port X-Wing Fighter onto AFTV, or Castle Wolfenstein. I'm holding out for a live multiplayer free game.

The DIY JBOD

2014-12-05T02:17:00.001-05:00

The HP N40L Microserver has four hot swap bays, a fifth SATA port that I use for OS, and an eSATA port that can be flipped to a sixth internal SATA drive. I have always had 6-7 drives in it (2.5 laptop drive connected to internal USB header on motherboard)

I have a slew of working, lesser capacity SATA drives sitting in an old Antec atx case.
As mentioned in my DIY Sonos report, I'm cheap. Drobo, QNAP, Synology aren't worth it for me.

So why not a DIY JBOD?

I made one. It works.
Microserver: the eSATA port has port multiplying, meaning that one cable from the JBOD to the Microserver controls all connected JBOD disks at once.

Random case. Initially an old Antec case. Then changed to a Lian Li Q25 on sale and with rebate from Newegg.

5 hot swap SATA bays, the ability to put 2-3 additional drives on the floor of the case

Courtesy

This card allows a power supply to be turned on and power the drives.

This card has ports for 5 hard drives. The external connector is either USB 3.0 or eSATA. Or both at the same time.

An old ATX Power supply
Various SATA and power cables, adapters, and connectors

If I could do it over again, I'd consider just buying a SanDisk TR4M. It only has 4 hard drive spaces, but is a bit cleaner and cheaper than my DIY.

The Lian Li case is nice, but the cable management in it is a nightmare. The PSU I'm using is old, so it has molex chains that aren't useful and get in the way. Despite not having a motherboard installed, cables are everywhere.
Inside the case, I mounted the Super Micro power card. The Port Multiplier card sits on the bottom of the case.

The Microserver had the hacked BIOS installed and configured for port multiplying and hot swap. Then I installed Windows Server 2012 R2 which required me to flash to an official HP BIOS for the on board NIC to work. After Server 2012 installation, I re-flashed the BIOS back to the hacked BIOS, but this wasn't necessary. The settings had been saved from the past hacked BIOS. I also had to install the latest AHCI driver as described here.

I still have some hard drives sitting in the Antec case because the Lian Li doesn't have enough space, I don't have enough cables, and the Addonics card only has 5 ports. The benefit of the bigger case is that switching hard drives on the Addonics card is so much easier. The card is fantastic, despite its price. Both my Mac Mini and Microserver can see 5 drives at one; the Mac Mini doesn't have eSATA, but the USB feature of the card allows all 5 drives to show up at once. It also has RAID capabilities and a BIG or SPAN feature that would pool all drives.

The JBOD drives do spin down randomly if not in use, although I don't know the sleep timer on them or how to adjust it.

Next I have to actually back data up onto the JBOD drives.

Using Phones as DIY Sonos

2014-11-26T10:22:00.002-05:00

TL;DR - Just get Plex.

I have spent an unnecessarily unfortunate amount of time trying to achieve a few tech things in my house. For cheap.
For years I used an HP Microserver as an htpc, although its limits of directly playing 1080p video (native) via VGA was the most prominent problem.
Then the Amazon Fire TV (AFTV) came out, and since I have been a Prime member from inception, I gave it a shot.
It's perfect. Netflix has never been a problem as my TV has it built in, even a button on the remote just for Netflix. But now I have Prime video, for what it's worth (not much), and way more importantly: XBMC/Kodi. I consider Kodi to be the perfect solution for the modern media enthusiast.

On the AFTV, I can use the Fire remote, my iPad, or my phone to control Kodi. The Microserver now sits in a different room, resolved to NAS and file serving duties. It streams 1080p just fine to the AFTV over wifi.

So one problem solved: a good, silent HTPC that allowed dubious media and was wife friendly (dubious media meaning Icefilms, Genesis, and the like. Although my wife refuses to watch CAMs and has issues with TS)

The next problem I have dealt with since 2010 is the concept of the "smart speaker," which Sonos has perfected. My parents have a few of the speakers, and it works great for them. I'm too cheap, and wanted an alternative that didn't have restrictions.
In 2010, I used an Asus router with usb capabilities, after seeing this video, to re-flash to linux for streaming. The problems with that option were cache and memory sizes, but another problem that has prevented most fixes: controlling the speaker from a different device. It ultimately failed: great for streaming WYEP and DroneZone, not good for local media on a grand scale.
Target recently sold a bunch of Android phones (ZTE Zinger) for $10 each. Without a SIM card, they work as Android-oriented iPod touches. I picked some up hoping to figure out a good upnp/DLNA setup. Upnp essentially acts as a common language between devices so that each device can see which media and files are on the other.

Through all of this, there were two hurdles that free apps couldn't get around: room designation and volume control.

1) Bubbleupnp was tested as the most reliable server app on these phones. My iPad, using a DLNA app, was able to find the Microserver and "fling" media to the Zinger. The problems with bubble are that volume control is broken, and the free app only allows 30 minutes of music to be streamed before it stops. Also the app seemed to turn itself off and not be discoverable after a period of time.

2) These phones are the same model. Most free DLNA server apps create a server with the name "ZTE Server." There was no way to delineate which room I was sending audio to. Bubbleupnp allowed me to change the name of each phone so that I could name each phone as "living room", "kitchen", etc.

Not being able to control the volume from my couch proved to be too cumbersome, and so I ditched the setup.

Plex is having a sale on its mobile apps at the time of this writing. The desktop software is free.

I tried Plex for the current speaker problem, and it does everything I need. The mobile app allows each Zinger phone to have its own name. The mobile app allows me to control what media is going where, and allows me to control the volume.

So my end setup now looks like this in text:
Microserver with movies and music - uses PS3 Media Server as UPNP server for Kodi; also Plex which is the ultimate solution for a cheap Sonos. Connected directly to wifi router (wireless N)

iPad's and real phones - use Plex app as remote control to choose songs from Microserver, and choose which Zinger phone receives audio.

ZTE Zingers - Android phones connected via headphone jack to various speakers throughout the house, using Plex app.

To anyone else trying to concoct a DIY smart sound system, just spend the money on Plex mobile apps with cheap phones. The best part of this is that you don't need to use linux, you don't need to do anything complex. Plex works for itself.
To get Kodi on the FireTV? That will take a little more knowledge, but isn't that bad

LIMITATIONS:

Unlike Sonos, there still isn't an obvious way to have music streamed and stopped/started in different rooms seamlessly.
I'm trying to figure out an easy way to get the Zingers to be in an always listening state. I do have to wake them up to get Plex to re-connect with the home network.
I did not try Squeezebox or any other proprietary Server/Client setup. Please comment if you have had success with any.

Mussels in Brussels

2010-03-29T00:03:00.002-04:00

(For some reason, the following youtube clip only appears if you click the "Mussels in Brussels" header)
Bourdain ended up at the Cadieux Cafe in Detroit, one of my favorite places:

The Cadieux Cafe (pronounced Ca-dgoo )in Detroit boasts "America's Only Feather Bowling", a Belgian oddity that probably only exists in the old Belgian neighborhood and not in the homeland.

Aside from the hybrid bocce-curling-bowling game, this Belgian cafe really is an old school bar. Back in 2005, their beer menu exposed me to life beyond the swill of PBR. It launched my ongoing lust for Duvel, the King of Kings. "The Devil" holds an 8.5% punch and pours a ridiculous head if not done correctly. Most of the beers on the menu are relatively common at specialty beer stores, only one or two may be hard to come by.

The third interesting finding at the Cadieux is the year-round mussel offering on the menu. Prices remain fixed throughout the year. I have yet to find a place that prepares and serves them this way in America.

http://greatlakesgazette.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/3255/

However, mussels dominate this restaurant-dense area of Brussels

View Larger Map

I went to Belgium for the beer and food, as well as the new flight route from Detroit. Chez Leon caught my eye. The variety of mussel preparations is worth noting. Interestingly, the mussel price in Belgium is higher than in Detroit (~$15 US vs ~20 EU). I ended up at the Leon twice, as they know how to prepare a mussel.
And yes, I tried the Leon beer. It wasn't remarkable.

For "remarkable", walk around the corner of the Leon to the Delirium Cafe. 2000+ beers. The menu they hand to you is essentially a bible. I'm not sure how much money I spent there, and I can't recall everything I sampled.

Two stories that came from my venture to the Delirium:

While I sat at the bar looking through the menu, an American guy, age 18-20, walked up and asked the bartenders if they had Blue Moon. The bartender, who was fluent in all three Belgian languages, had the kid repeat himself.
Underage kid: "Blue Moon"
Bartender: "Never heard of it. You mean 'Blu asdf?' (can't recall what he said)"
Kid: "No. Blue Moon. In America, they say it's a Belgian beer, you've never heard of it?"
Bartender "You ever hear of... Blue Moon?"
Other bartender says no.
Bartender points to menu, hands it to kid.
Kid looks through menu, can't find it, walks away.

At this point, I'm smiling to myself. I notice a couple at the bar smirking also. We say to each other "That kid was pretty dumb. He doesn't know what he's doing considering Blue Moon is brewed by Coors"
The couple invites me over to their area. They're Americans from Cincinnati on vacation, in their early 30's. They are staying in London mostly. The guy is a beer-head. The girl is along for the ride, but enjoying it. We discuss beer, Euro-travel, jobs and the like. The girl orders a beer, which the guy tells me is brewed with mustard seed, prompting a disgusted look on my face. Before the girl takes a sip, they tell me to try it. Mustard-seed-beer is certainly strange, and not very palatable. It sounds worse than it tastes. It's not as bad a gueuze, which is absolutely bitter and sour, and cannot be recommended unless you just have to try everything in the world.

I do remember having Angolan Passion beer. I wanted the banana beer, something I've always wanted to try, but the bartenders spent 10 minutes in the stock room and couldn't find any. I settled for the passion beer. So:

My photo!

Angolan Passion beer
Floris kriek (cherry) from Belgium. On tap (!?)
The mustard seed beer
A Delirium (it's the namesake afterall)

I don't remember what else I bought. I didn't bother with Duvel, because that was going for $5 (converted) a bottle at my hostel in Amsterdam.

Media Dump!

2010-03-20T21:21:00.001-04:00

The Lady got a 2 week trial to Netflix in the mail. I signed up with my credit card, even though I think they may have a month trial available. Last time I had Netflix, it was 2004 and streaming video didn't exist. However, it had its own beneficial outcomes.

Here's what I've watched so far:

Nightwatching
Chances are you haven't heard of Peter Greenaway. You also have not heard of any of his films. Even though I am in the habit of watching them, they generally disengage me halfway through. Aesthetically, they're great. The stories are usually not captivating. Style over substance to a degree with which Soderbergh can't compete. HOWEVA. Nightwatching tells the tale of Rembrandt's path toward painting The Night Watch, followed by conspiracies and accusations hidden in the painting. If you wish that The Da Vinci Code had intelligence, this is that movie. It is long though, with a lot of dialogue that leads nowhere interesting. The best parts involve the Night Watch patrons and their discontent toward the painter.

Scene from the movie

The actual painting

Incredibly, as one can say with any Greenaway film, every frame of the movie could be put onto canvas and admired. General opinion states that any Kubrick-filmed scene has this potential also. I disagree and think that it only applies to a few of Kubrick's movies.

Entire scenes resemble oil on canvas

6.5 film-maker obsessions out of 10

The Trouble with Harry
A Hitchcock dark comedy. Not one of Hichcock's better known movies to the non-phile or Herrmann lover, it's one of the few of his that was intended solely as a comedy. It's about a small town who discovers a dead guy. Turns out they all knew him in some way, and all think that they killed him. It's somewhat dull. Watch it if only on a Hitchcock-completion mission.

"You're not supposed to bury bodies whenever you find them. It makes people suspicious."

5 director cameos out of 10.

Not soon enough

Altered States
A movie I missed when it was on Cinemax every Friday night in the late 90's, and then missed again while in college (even though internet friends all suggested it to me based on my movie preferences). Finally, I watched it, and thought it was pretty decent but wholly surreal. It feels like Cronenberg, but dismisses biological horror in exchange for wild stock footage and trippy effects. Certainly worth a viewing on a day you want to take some visual LSD.

"There's a physiological pathway to our earlier consciousnesses. There has to be, and I'm telling you it's in the goddamned limbic system."

8 psychotropes out of 10

Wise fwom youw gwave! Oh, wait...

Whatever Works
Woody Allen and Larry David team up for double the self-loathing New York Jew. Larry plays the Woody Allen-role of a misanthropic, [self-proclaimed] genius who begrudgingly takes a homeless runaway into his quarters. She lacks any world view or street smarts, and takes a liking to Larry. The movie's theme revolves around doing "whatever works" and finding some enjoyment in the otherwise worthless experience that is life. Ebert's review is dead-on. Please note that I'm a Woody fan and apologist.

How many people have a "role" named after them? The "Woody Allen-role" has been played by Cusack, Branaugh, and now David. Claude Makelele is the other "role" that I know of to have an eponymous association.

"The minute a person dies, oh, "he was a smoker. he's overweight". Thin non-smokers die too. Abstinence isn't going to save you."

7 amusing lines out of 10.

Class of Nuke 'Em High
A "classic" Troma film from 1986, this plotless number pales in comparison to The Toxic Avenger (or part IV) and Tromeo and Juliet, two other movies in the "classic" Troma catalog helmed by Lloyd Kaufman. By classic, I refer to the first generation of Troma, although "Tromeo and Juliet" may be too far forward to be considered in the original, "classic" era. Who knows, who cares.
If you haven't seen a Troma film and have no idea what that term means... then you're not a movie nerd (don't claim to be one). Or at least try to watch The Toxic Avenger or Tromeo and Juliet.
Nuke 'Em High was made in the late 80's, before the internet and Netflix could put Troma out to mass-audiences. More or less, a nuclear plant next to Tromaville High starts leaching chemicals into the water, and the kids mutate physically, mentally, or both. People attack people and give Team Troma a chance to show off its visual gag ability. I couldn't really get into it.
3 goth punks out of 10.

Typical goth punk found in a Troma movie

Troma's War
I consider Terror Firmer to be the capitulating work in the oeuvre of Lloyd Kaufman/Troma. They consider "Troma's War" to be the masterpiece. With any Troma movie, the first ten minutes inform you whether or not you want to continue. If you're immediately bored (like Class of Nuke 'Em High above), watch something else.
"Troma's War" responds to Red Dawn, Rambo, and other 80's action movies by reducing the plot, only slightly, and increasing the graphic violence and duration of action scenes. The plot consists of a group of plane-crash survivors who land on an island. On this island are a group of rebellious guerilla troops who have a goal of spreading AIDS to America. The group (including a guy who looks like Ben Roethlisberger) fights against the guerillas, who include the creepy "Senor SIDA", a commander who has a pig nose (complete with snorting), and... these two guys who are behind the whole thing.

I wholly recommend it. It has a good amount of the standard Troma cheese (acting, jokes), the typical amount of Troma violence, a Commando-level body count, and horrible 80's synth action music. Although one piece sounded similar to Jan Hammer...

"We're not dead until I say we're dead!"

7.5 gratuitous nude scenes out of 10.

San Diego

2010-03-10T20:21:00.001-05:00

While in San Diego for a convention in 2007, four of us went to a tiki restaurant, Mr. Tiki. Most of my compadres had no idea what a tiki bar/restaurant was, had never been to one, and knew nothing of tiki culture. The whole tiki thing, the hyperstylized (hyperreal) Polynesian influence and design, began to explode in the US after WWII. Returning vets who had been in the Pacific theater recalled beautiful women, fruity drinks, and non-stop sun. Many vets never even came back to the US. (Citation certainly needed).

This Forbes article serves as a good intro to the sine-wave of tiki awareness. Tiki is not for everyone. To see what all is available and decide whether it's tacky, kitsch, or cool, you can go here to see what is available at the largest Tiki internet seller (I think).

The art of Shag is seen as part of the neo-tiki revival that we experienced from 2000 to 2008.

At Mr. Tiki, it was half off tiki drink night, and we certainly loaded up on bowls of fruit-punch-ish drinks. Straight guys are able to get away with it because it was a Tiki bar. It's to be expected.

Stolen from this blog

The food was good for an upscale fusion tiki restaurant.

Stolen

We also hung out at a dive bar that was featured in Top Gun each night also. Unfortunately the owner was an Ohio State fan.

The Wing Battle

2010-03-10T19:18:00.023-05:00

There is a constant debate in my circle between Hooters (beware the heavy Flash) and Buffalo Wild Wings (BW3) as to which has the better wing. I polled a selection of people from my email contact list. Quaker Steak and Lube is excluded from this battle; I've been to one and was not impressed. It was all you could eat wing day there, so I tried a bunch of their sauces. Overall, the sauces were too gimmicky, many of which were too sweet or just not palatable (Tequila lime was gross). So, here we go with the survey results:

BW3	vs	Hooters
1982	Since	1984
601	Locations	“over 450” in 26 countries
Buzztime Trivia?	Claim to fame	Hooters girls
14 (4 “hot” variations)	Number of sauces	10 (3 “hot” variations)
~$15 for 18 wings	Price	~$15 for 20 wings
45 cent Tuesdays	Specials night	All you can eat Tuesday
Free ranch/blue cheese	Bonus	Paper towels at table
Wiki	Link	Wiki
62%	Preferred bare wing	38%
85%	Preferred wing with sauce	15%
92%	Preferred sauces (selection/variety, application, quality/taste)	8%
62%	Preferred atmosphere	38%

Surprisingly, Hooters lost the "preferred atmosphere" battle, which I wasn't expecting...
Another shock was how many people claimed that the Mango Habanero sauce from BW3 is their preferred sauce...
I understand that nobody ever gets a "bare" wing. In my opinion, Hooters has the better "bare" wing because it's a fried/breaded wing, compared to BW3's non-breaded wing.

Other thoughts from the survey:

"It's difficult for me to get service in Hooters. Typically I just make eye contact with waitresses, but in Hooters they think I'm checking them out, so I have to call them over. Plus it's just a white trashy environment. When my Dad met my first Mom there in the 70's it was a much classier establishment."

"Going to Hooters is like paying for a lapdance you'll never get and going to Wild Wings is like paying for decent wings you'll never get."

"Hooters is trashy"

"Hooters is like a strip club: you go for the tits and ass but you know you going to get a shitty over priced drink. And in the end you leave with a hard on you payed too much, you never see a bare ass nor tit and you feel just as dirty. Now that I think about it I would rather go to a Mexican strip joint knowing in the end I might get laid and I wouldn't have shelled out that much cash."

"Price - Hooters has tons of specials and they're all better than the infamous ".60 cent wings" special at Bdubs. If that's a special then is it a $1 per wing on average? That's $6 for 6 wings and its $7.95 for 12 at Hooters"

"Only if BW3 would have similar uniforms as hooters, then hooters would be out of business"

"I definitely prefer BW3 to Hooters wings, but Hooters has some amazing chili. Don't know what's up with that, but it rocks my socks."

"If I'm really hungry, BW's. Otherwise, I'll take the view at Hooters."

"When was the last time you saw anyone in Hooters that looked like they had a respectable job?"

"Hooters Hot, Bdubs Mango Habenero. However, slowly but surely Hooters is coming out with more and more selection. They just came out with a Lemon dry rub thingy. Quality I would give to Bdubs because of only the size of the wing but taste goes to HooHoos."

"BW3 has cuter waitresses because they're not intentionally trampy, MMA"

"I have had too many uncooked wings at hooters"

"I put BW3, though I always have sauce on them. There are some bare things at Hooters I would prefer though."

"I am a major fan of both boobs and sports, but now that I am over 18 I go to restaurants for the food. Hooters "atmosphere" I can get at home on the internet; ironically, both require wet wipes."

You can fill out the survey here

You can view the results here

Scholarly Awareness

2010-03-07T01:02:00.002-05:00

In Williamsburg, we visited a restaurant named "Food For Thought" that had just opened. You can read their philosophy in their "About Us".

A truly wonderful meal is a combination of good food and good conversation. So talk about the special people featured here. Talk about the contributions that these people have made to the world. Talk about how everyone can be great in his or her own way. Talk about how we can each make a significant contribution if we model the same principles and beliefs of those that have gone before us

The walls have large printed quotes and quips of famous theoreticians (Franklin, Twain, Thoreau), the tablecloths are paper, and crayons are present. In addition to all of this, each table has a set of Trivial Pursuit cards or cards from other games that intend to invoke conversation. Our table had cards of questions to ask the entire group, such as "Give three adjectives to describe the people at the table." All of this was largely a gimmick, naturally. It's a bit pretentious to buy into the owner's philosophy, and I'm not sure if black turtle-necks can even do so. Rather, they'd probably find the idea shallow and pedantic.

The food was pretty good, from what I remember. I had the cilantro chicken, and the lady had the portabella stack. Hers looked great and tasted proper when I got a sample.

The whimsy of the place is backed up by the acceptable food; otherwise it would have been a gimmick-restaurant with a confusing motif that tried too hard. You won't walk out of here with a critical analysis of society, but that's not their purpose. That's the purpose of Google Scholar, a likely neglected tool outside of finals-week computer labs.

Google Scholar searches through academic journals and bibliographies instead of the public internet. Unfortunately, I only learned of Scholar.Google.com in my last year of undergrad. Had I been aware of it sooner, research for my History of Art courses would have been substantially easier (no more diving through the dusty archives of the Tappan library, finding books that were 50 years old and disintegrating in my hands as I read through them). Also, if Wikipedia had been in existence before then too, life in general would have been simple, especially in biology.

It wasn't until I was on my way out the door at UofM that it dawned on me that without the .edu host, I would not have access to journals found on Google scholar. Hopefully one day I'll befriend a college kid who can grab my weird articles on pop culture topics.

Try it for yourself. Type in some of your hobbies, favorite films, restaurants, music, anything. Academics will write on really strange things (The Three Stooges as Environmentalists?).

Chances are that you are not on an .edu network. As such, you will only get the abstracts or limited views of articles. If you have a friend in college, ask them to download and send you the PDF, perhaps even in Google Documents (embrace the cloud). Google scholar search results will also link to scanned-in Google books and citations, two things which may not be what you want, so click your results wisely.

Example papers I found:
Die Hard
Talking Heads
David Lynch (a lot of Lacan analysis comes up with a search for Lynch)
Dreaming and David Lynch
Edward Scissorhands
The Godfather
Another Godfather essay
Nip/Tuck
Nip/Tuck (on how the graphic surgery is used to attract viewers)
Miami Vice (Baudrillard and Miami Vice!)
College football
College football statistics
Olive Garden
Cartoon physics
Family Guy
Pee Wee's Playhouse
Seinfeld
George Costanza
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Arrested Development

Link dump!

2010-03-03T19:43:00.008-05:00

Exploding banana face

The Most Expensive Dinner

2010-03-02T21:00:00.007-05:00

In 2005, I presented some research in Georgetown. A few others from the hospital where I worked also presented. Word on the street was that I was supposed to win an award. In fact I didn't win, explained by my colleagues that because one of my co-workers had won a different award, I couldn't win because "the man" didn't want to give us a monopoly. So... that's the way it was.

That night, my little posse went out to dinner. The most senior doctor there said that the president of one of our hospitals was so proud that we had as many presentations as we did. The president had given her his personal credit card and wanted us to celebrate.

We went to 1789, which was his favorite restaurant. Some people inside were in tuxes. It was myself, the senior physician, a resident, and the resident's 10 year old son. There was a string quartet or trio playing in one corner of the restaurant. The atmosphere was like a cavernous, older Ritz. Needless to say, we ordered a lot. I remember it as a prix-fixe, but the current online menu has courses ala carte.

When I was there, we had every offered course. Pre-dinner drinks. Expensive wine. Cheese plates. Desert drinks. And then at the end, grappa. I had never heard of grappa. I ordered some, sipped it. Felt it.

The food was very good. I don't remember what I had except for a cheese plate, some red wine, and grappa. I haven't had grappa since, probably because it's $12 a shot. If I could go back, I'd break down with The Glenlivet 25

I was staying at a different hotel from the rest of the group, and I was within walking distance. It was a Thursday night. I began to walk through Georgetown, somewhat buzzed (if not borderline drunk), and found a student bar that was not a dive, went in, sat down, got a drink, hung out with some students, and then went home.

In the end, I think we had run up a $700 bill between the four of us. And the 10 year old had ordered simple things and no alcohol. I don't know how much my individual bill would have been, but I remember it would have been at least $200. End cost to me: $0.

The Most Expensive Breakfast

2010-03-02T20:26:00.014-05:00

We drove 12 straight hours from Virginia to Orlando, arrived late at night, and decided to get a big breakfast in the morning.

Since it was the lady's first time to Disney World, she had a priority to-do list:

Character breakfast with Mickey-shaped waffle
Mickey-shaped ice cream
A bunch of other things that I now forget

The character breakfast is where you eat, usually a buffet, and Disney characters walk around and allow you to take pictures with them. It sounds cheesy and unnecessary, and it is, but once you're there it doesn't seem horrible. We walked into the Contemporary Resort.

The Contemporary was built in an era where concrete was considered modern. When you compare it to other Disney World hotels, it seems too cold and serious. I think only business/conference people stay there, my Disney professor said that only boring, cold people did. The feature that gives the hotel any character is that the monorail runs through the lobby:

The mural in the lobby is by Mary Blair, who the lady thinks was either a genius, or drug-induced nut. (Blair had an astigmatism, and was also an alcoholic). It's a Small World is an acid-trip through Blair's mind.

Inside this hotel are a few restaurants, including the character buffet Chef Mickey's, recommended to us by a friend who claimed the food was better than other buffets with less screaming kids.

We were seated right away, despite not having reservations. Some old Dutch guy was our waiter. The buffet was stacked: french toast, waffles, pancakes, blintzes, donuts, fruit, capers and lox, candy, "breakfast pizza", meats, hashbrowns, a potato/pepper/cheese mix, eggs of many types... it's just excellent. And of course, they had the Mickey Waffle:

Blintzes and something on the left, cereal and CANDY (!?) in the clear canisters.

We sat next to a window that overlooked the Magic Kingdom, with the iconic castle and Space Mountain in view. She cried because it was her first time at Disney World, it was the first morning after a long drive, and there she was overlooking the place as Mickey and other "classic" characters went to each table mugging for photos and autographs.

Overall, the food was really good. But then there was the bill. It was around $70 (for the both of us). This was the most expensive breakfast I will ever have, far more than breakfast at the Ritz in Dearborn, MI.

But the $70 price tag brings in the idea of "experience as a commodity", a distinctly 20th century realization that Disney has perfected. This breakfast wasn't $70 worth of food. The price involved having your picture taken with Disney character-suits and being able to look out over the Magic Kingdom. Having a picture taken is far more important to children, as is the episode where a song started playing and the characters danced. For $35, she was invited into the Disney culture of paying for memories.
As Adorno said,

The cultural commodities of the industry are governed by the principle of their realization as value, and not by their own specific content and harmonious formation. The entire practice of the culture industry transfers the profit motive naked onto cultural forms.

The World

2010-03-02T19:47:00.013-05:00

In November 2009, we decided to go to Disney World. The lady had never been at all, and I've obviously been influenced by the place... even through college. Most adults consider Disney World to be a place for kids, the cynical-type may think of it to be the "ultimate in fakery". Most likely, these people haven't visited as adults (without children). I can't blame them, but most people can't envision a trip there to be worthy of their time, or precious dollar. Walt's vision, though, was to strip adults of their society-induced roles of having to be serious, and instead create an environment where they would have as much fun as youth. David Johnson wrote in an essay:

All people manage their behavior so that they separate their frontstage from their backstage behavior. Invasions of privacy or slips showing backstage behavior are to be avoided at all costs.

And that's pretty much the crux of the matter. If you've been to Disney World/Land as an adult, without children, then you know. Alexander Moore described how Disney World/Land is an American rite of passage, or a pilgrimage center.

A pilgrimage center is a bounded place apart from ordinary settlement, drawing pilgrims from great distances as well as nearby. It must have some place of congregation, some symbols on display readily understood by the congregated pilgrims.

Although expensive, there are a lot of things to do and appreciate as adults. The operations-side of the place is staggering to consider. There have been books devoted to the subject (more than two).

I'll spare more on the theory and get to the food. Food at Disney World is overpriced. It is not, however, typical amusement park grease-fare. For the most part, thought is put into menus and the final product. Portions are generally excessive, or at the minimum, entirely adequate. Most Disney food can be split in two and still fill each person up until the next meal.

For example, there's a place in the Magic Kingdom where you can order a burger, and then load up on it with a ridiculous amount of fixin's (for free), from grilled onions, grilled shrooms, nacho cheese sauce, practically everything you could want on a burger.

Aforementioned fixin' bar At Pecos Bill Cafe

One breakfast that we ate was Tonga Toast at the Polynesian Resort, a place that she claimed was "more Hawaiian than Hawaii is." If she were a postmodern academic philosopher, she would have said that the Polynesian Resort is an example of simulacra, where the simulation of Hawaii has played to what we believe Hawaii looks like. Eco's claim of hyperreality also stands:

In this sense Disneyland is more hyperrealistic than the wax museum, precisely because the latter still tries to make us believe that what we are seeing reproduces reality absolutely, whereas Disneyland makes it clear that within its magic enclosure it is fantasy that is absolutely reproduced. The Palace of Living Arts presents its Venus de Milo as almost real, whereas Disneyland can permit itself to present its reconstructions as masterpieces of falsification, for what it sells is, indeed, goods, but genuine merchandise, not reproductions. What is falsified is our will to buy, which we take as real, and in this sense Disneyland is really the quintessence of consumer ideology.

Changing subjects, Tonga Toast is sourdough french toast with cinnamon; in-between the two slabs of bread are grilled bananas. I hate sourdough, but the taste was masked by cinnamon and banana. An absolutely wonderful way to start the day. The portion? Humongous.

Like family... no thanks

2010-02-28T21:27:00.005-05:00

First up, yesterday's exquisite voyage to a place I haven't been in probably ten or more years. The Olive Garden. I went because I had a $25 Darden gift card. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone.

Nick DiPaolo:

Jokes.com

Nick DiPaolo - Authentic Italian

comedians.comedycentral.com

WSJ: It has been said--accurately and not altogether insultingly--that the Olive Garden is the McDonald's of Italian-American cuisine.

And then there was this essay from a guy named Doug Shaw, which I read before going, preparing me that they would be pushing wine on me.

And sure enough he was right. The decor and entrance had wine bottles prominent. The second menu was of specials, all with a wine pairing. Our waitress brought out a lambrusco for sampling. I accepted, but it was too sweet for my liking. It would have been gross with a meal.

I ordered a Gorgonzola-spinach-linguini/balsamic steak entree, the lady ordered portobello ravioli. Hers was better than mine. Mine wasn't horrible, it wasn't remarkable. The service was pretty mediocre. Dirty glasses, no water refills, and a rushed experience will be all that I remember. I don't plan on returning to an Olive Garden for the rest of my life, simply because there is better food elsewhere.

Of all big chain restaurants in the mode of Olive Garden, I personally would only go to Chili's. Even then, I'd opt for somewhere else. The Olive Garden has acceptable reheated flash frozen food. But it's uninspiring, due to the desire to cater to millions. At Chili's, I can buy a reheated burger that is more enjoyable than reheated pasta. I'm not sure what type of person desires to go to the Olive Garden; I suspect that for families it is simple because least you could find something for everyone. For non-families, I'd prefer a local pizzeria/mom and pop Italian gig.

NYT Rules broken:
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
62(a). Do not let a glass sit empty for too long.
75. Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.
76. Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.

Life's new purpose

2010-02-28T21:10:00.003-05:00

I will now update this with various crap from my life, mostly restaurant reviews from places I go and have gone.

My food/restaurant reviews won't really have a form of consistency. One common thing I will consider is the whole "could I make this at home" idea, which stemmed from when I saw Guy Fieri commercials for Applebee's, stating his new grilled chicken breast on pasta was worth going out for. The lady rolls her eyes when I say "I could make this at home" when eating elsewhere.

A list which has influenced my social-eating habits is found courtesy of the New York Times, a few of which may be ridiculous, but most are pretty relevant. Click here for the list