It's news to me

Sayonara Blogger. Hello, WordPress

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Mon, 31 Oct 2005 09:30:00 -0500

I've been blogging here on Blogger for the past 3 and a half years. Now it's time to move on.

Why? Simply because I need more tools than Blogger provides.

Xeni Jardin, in an article on Wired News from October 27, 2005 comments that "When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer." And to a degree that is what has happened here at this blog.

One unwelcome reader has insisted on posting comments that disparage and attack another reader often enough that I had to turn off anonymous posting, which in my opinion has diminished what I hoped to achieve with this blog. It restricted the comments on my posts to those who had Blogger accounts, and even though there are a lot of people who have Blogger accounts, many of my readers don't. And they aren't willing to create a Blogger account just to post a comment. I don't blame them.

What I needed was a blogging tool that permitted me to "moderate" comments before they become visible on the blog, so I went in search of a tool that gave me that ability. Blogger doesn't.

I found WordPress. And now I have moved my blogging to a new location. If you are a loyal reader, then please update your bookmarks to that location. I don't intend to delete this blog, because I may wish to refer back to it in the future, but this will be my last post here.

In the event that the folks at Blogger want some comments in a kind of exit interview, then I'd be happy to tell them that, for the most part, I have enjoyed the experience of using Blogger. It gave me the ability to get into blogging easily and to learn how to do it. I obviously enjoyed the exercise since I've been here for as long as I have. But, since moderation isn't possible here, it is no longer acceptable to me to use this service. Also since the public API for blogger makes it so easy for splogs to abound and since the reputation of Blogger has suffered so much from that, I'd just prefer to have my blog on a different, more respected service. And yes, I implemented the captcha test to prevent the splogging of my blog, but still I can't moderate comments of insensitive and cruel humans, who can circumvent the captcha system, and that is something I feel is necessary.

Thanks to those of you who have visited me here. You are welcome to migrate with me to the new location, if you wish, and if not, I appreciate your having been a part of the experience with me here.

So it's now, Sayonara Blogger. Hello, WordPress.

Bowen's Alaskan salmon fishing trip.

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Wed, 26 Oct 2005 17:54:00 -0400

100_0190
Originally uploaded by CaptQuirk.

In September of this year, Bowen Baxter (my cousin), made a trip that he related this way.

My son, Chuck, who lives in Newnan, GA and is a builder has a rather wealthy client and friend who happens to own a majority interest in a fishing lodge on Kodiak Island, Alaska. He offered Chuck three 3 day reservations at the Lodge and Chuck took my son-in-law, Joe Landrum and I with him. It was a great trip. We flew into Anchorage where Chuck's friend has a Condominium and an SUV. We were able to spend most of the day touring in and around Anchorage.

The next day we flew a small plane to Kodiak City where we boarded a still smaller plane for the flight to our destination, Old Harbor, AK where the Lodge is located. The only access to Old Harbor is by small plane or a one-and-a half hour boat trip. Old Harbor has a small gravel air strip, six miles of unpaved roads and a population of approximately 260 people, many of which are Alutiq Indians.

The fishing was great and the scenery magnificent. I was so taken with the scenery that I took 160 snapshots knowing that for me this was a once in my lifetime experience.

When I asked for more detail, he sent along this information from the Kodiak Sportsman's Lodge promotional sheet.

Kodiak Sportsman's Lodge in Old Harbor, Alaska is approximately 60 miles south of Kodiak City nestled on the protected shores of Kodiak Island on the Sitkalidak Straits. It is within the boundaries of the Kodiak National wildlife refuge and the Kodiak National Maritime refuge. Kodiak's tallest mountains provide a stunning backdrop to the village of Old Harbor, a small native village of 200 people. The native village has a fascinating history of Aluttiiq, Russian and Scandinavian influences. Sitkalidak Island sits across the strait from the Lodge and we fish and we fish within the strait. The north strait has 10 miles of fishing and the south strait has 12 miles of fishing. We never have to run into open seas and we rarely run more than 20 minutes before we drop lines. This allows us to fish in a comfortable setting.

David Steele's new blog

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Sun, 23 Oct 2005 10:06:00 -0400

David Steele, a long-time friend and former client (from my consulting days), has decided to take the plunge and start a blog. He's at the very beginning of his efforts, but I like the name he has conceived of for himself -- the "heartland storyteller." Here's the link to his blog, spelled out in case you want to make note of it, http://heartlandstoryteller.blogspot.com/.

Good luck, Dave. I'm looking forward to your first post and all the ones that follow. Have fun.

Link Sharing at CEOExpress

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 00:44:00 -0400

Last night I received an email from Patricia Pomerleau who is the CEO of CEOExpress, my home page on the web. For a long time this site has permitted us users to create a page of links that we, and we only, can see so that we don't have to be at our own computer to access frequently used web sites from the list of bookmarks (or favorites) that are stored in our browsers. Just logging into our home page displays these so-called personal links, and I have found this feature to be quite useful through the years. Patricia's email was sent to announce they are now providing the ability to share these personal links selectively with others.

I spent the morning setting this up so that I could share links with my friends. However, when I sent out the first message inviting a slew of my friends to see the links, I unfortunately sent the wrong link. My thanks to Bowen Baxter for informing me of this. So I sent out a second email, noting the error, but again I sent the wrong link. Finally, I think I got it right with the third version.

This entry is to extend my apology to those of you who received that series of three emails. I didn't mean to spam you; it just took me three tries to get it right.

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. -- John Kenneth Galbraith

Found by an old friend

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 09:17:00 -0400

When you write on the Internet, you expect that some people, usually only a few, will read what you write. Some may even be so loyal to your postings that they'll come back time and again. However, one of the surprises for me is that occasionally someone I don't even know will leave a comment or write to say they found a post of mine interesting, and equally surprising (though it shouldn't be) is that sometimes an old friend will "find" you.

Last night I was pleased to receive an email from Robert McMillan with whom I worked at ClientLogic. Robert had found my blog while googling randomly. He pointed me to his own blog, which is located here. He confessed to having allowed a bit of time to pass since his last entry at his blog, and I had to acknowledge that it had been a while since I had posted an entry at mine. His message gave me something to comment on, so I appreciate the nudge that got me back into posting. Thanks, Robert.

A conversation with Bill Gates

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 11:50:00 -0400

Robert Scoble on Channel 9 has a 16 plus minute interview with Bill Gates that is quite interesting. If you have a few minutes, I think you might find it as interesting as I did.

To open the video you must click on the "launch the streaming media" icon in the lower left hand corner of the picture. Doing that will open Windows Media Player and play the video.

A milestone

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 09:24:00 -0400

Today is the 284th day of the year. I began my exercise program on the 194th day of the year, July 13th, and I've not missed a day since I began. That means that the walk that I have just completed is the 90th consecutive day of exercise I've gotten, a milestone.

Thanks to Juan's pointing me to this pedometer, I have calculated that my exercise route is between 1.5 and 2 miles around my neighborhood. This morning I completed that walk in 34 mins and 52 secs. Although I'm not setting any land speed records, I am walking at a pretty good clip, and I've noticed that my ability to negotiate the hills easily has improved and my legs aren't nearly as tired at the end of my walk as they were when I began all this. As I said at the outset, it is just a matter of one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. We'll see how long I can continue.

Yeah, FTC!

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Thu, 6 Oct 2005 09:17:00 -0400

In an article yesterday titled, "Spyware Purveyor in Cross Hairs," Wired News is reporting that the FTC has (finally) filed a complaint against a spyware producer from New Hampshire.

I can only say, "Thank God! It's about time."

The article also reveals one of the favorite tricks spyware makers use to sink their claws deeper into the system, which is that they provide what is purported to be a removal tool that turns out to be only another means to install other spyware on the user's computer. Sometimes they even have the audacity to charge a fee for the "removal tool."

A verbal scavenger hunt

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Wed, 5 Oct 2005 07:38:00 -0400

Here's a little educational game for you today.

Did you know that "Each of the letters in LASER actually stands for a word?" Click on this link and then follow each of the links you find there in succession and you'll learn something about lasers. Actually this is fairly fascinating, I think.

Continuing Education: Channel 9

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Tue, 4 Oct 2005 10:11:00 -0400

This post may well only appeal to my fellow, former tech support friends, though I would argue that not only they, but you too, whoever you are, would benefit from reading it and taking to heart what it contains. I think I have blogged before about Channel 9. However, today I want to reemphasize that I think this web site is a great way to "catch up, keep up, and maybe even stay ahead of the learning curve."

As we all know, and as some of us lament, technology is changing so fast that it is almost impossible to know everything you might wish to or think you need to know. A part of the problem, of course, is that most of us aren't programmers and though we may use computers, we don't really know what makes them tick. Yet I believe the only way to know about them is to plunge right in where we are now and try to assimilate as much as we can about how they function and where they are going. It requires a willingness to tolerate ambiguity, which is to say to allow yourself to read, listen to or watch (in the case of the Channel 9 site) even though you may not totally understand all that is being said. Using this approach, you may be surprised how much you do pick up from devoting the time, or at least this is my own experience.

You know, no doubt, that next year Microsoft is introducing the next version of their Windows operating system and that it is now called Vista. (Formerly it was known as Longhorn.) I have just finished watching one of the Channel 9 videos (about 40 minutes) dealing with the networking innovations that the new OS makes available. Robert Scoble interviews the Microsoft Vista networking team that consists of Abolade, Sanjay, and Ali, and the team illustrates how international the staff at Microsoft is. In it they refer to such things as IPv6, CTCP (which is compound tcp, or compound transfer control protocol), and network stacks. If you are already familiar with such terms as that, fine, but if not, then you may want to read those links to familiarize yourself with them after you've watched the video on networking innovations I've mentioned above.

I've been watching videos such as this for the last couple of years and I think they are a terrific way to be become familiar with some of the issues and to be informed of the directions that Microsoft is taking. Here is a 15 minute video, done at the beginning of the Channel 9 project that introduces the participants and some of the objectives they set out for themselves and their rationale for doing these attempts to communicate more directly with their customers and developers. (I highly recommend that 15 minute video because it helps to understand why they are doing these videos.) And here is the Channel 9 Doctrine, first published on March 25, 2004. I would encourage you to bookmark the Channel 9 link so that when your time permits you can watch the latest video that the team makes available. Most are very informal but also very informative.

One final point. You need to start the video by clicking on the launching icon in the lower left hand corner of the picture (which is actually an embedded version of the Windows Media Player), and because the volume varies in these videos, I recommend that you watch and listen while wearing headphones because it significantly improves the audio quality.

Publicity photo for my novel

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Mon, 3 Oct 2005 11:04:00 -0400

Yrrep Yddad
Originally uploaded by Dr Reelgood.

Mike took this photo of me yesterday (October 2, 2005) and suggests that it would be an appropriate picture to use on the black flap of my novel, which of course isn't even in the works. But he's right it does have the look of the kind of publicity photo that would appear in such a place. But I am reminded of this quote from my quotes file: "Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it." -- Russell Lynes

It's time to pay attention to your attention

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 10:06:00 -0400

Jim Cuene points out that: "Your Attention is What You do On the Web," and that, he concludes is something valuable that you own and something for which you should be compensated.

In his post, he explains it like this:

"Think about, for example, the OPML file that contains your RSS feeds. Or, the list of tags you've generated at Delicio.us or Flickr. Or, your My.Yahoo page preferences. Or, your Google search history. Or, the emails you get in Gmail. Or, the list of recent MS Office documents you created on your desktop. You're leaving tracks all over the internet, sometimes intentionally (the sites you comment on, the ratings you give in Amazon), sometimes unintentionally (the headlines you click on CNN.com). All those tracks are evidence of your interests, what you are paying attention to."

This whole subject of the value of your attention has been under discussion for about the last year and is likely to be so for the coming year. However the thing that strikes me as interesting or significant is the thought that it is YOUR attention and that you should be bartering it rather than giving it away, as most of us are now.

Here are a couple of other links that relate to the subject that I found interesting:

AttentionTrust.org Explained Better

From that link comes this quote:

"As we use the web, we reveal lots of information about ourselves by what we pay attention to. Imagine if all of that information could be stored in a nice neat little xml file. And when we travel around the web, we can optionally share it with websites or other people. We can make them pay for it, lease it, scream for it "show me the money", barter for it, whatever."

And from August 20, 2004 here's a Podcast on the subject by the Gilmor Gang that is a little over one hour in length.

I find all of this interesting stuff and an example of how the rules are changing because of our increasingly connected and documented life in this new century.

The latest photo of me

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Mon, 26 Sep 2005 09:11:00 -0400

Daddy Perry
Originally uploaded by Dr Reelgood.

When I went over for Sunday dinner with Mike and Cheryl, he took this photo of me and just this morning he uploaded it to his Flickr site. I liked it a lot, so I thought I'd set aside all false modesty and post it here. This was taken on September 11, 2005.

Overwhelmed? Join the club

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 09:30:00 -0400

This article, The Upgraded Digital Divide: Are We Developing New Technologies Faster than Consumers Can Use Them? from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania says: "Complexity among consumer technology products has never been greater -- a good thing if the complexity means product improvement. But Wharton experts say new bells and whistles pose challenges to businesses and consumers alike. Complexity -- along with choice -- can have a big impact on how firms make and market new and improved gizmos, and on the decision processes of the people expected to buy them."

Seventy Two Days

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 08:04:00 -0400

What began as a nothing-better-to-do fill-in during my cable outage back in July has now continued for seventy two consecutive days without interruption. I've just come back from my morning walk around the neighborhood. I'm surprised that I haven't encountered heavy rains or some other weather phenomenon that would interfere with my walk, but I haven't. Perhaps it's because of the time of the year when this bit of exercise has occurred. The autumn and winter will be more of a weather challenge, I'm sure.

Although I've continued to exercise, I'll allowed my blogging to fall off during the last couple of weeks. In part that is accidental and in part it is intentional. I have some things brewing that I don't want to talk about until they are complete. Talking about what has already happened is always a safer strategy than talking about what is going to happen. When I have more to report, you'll hear it first right here. Stay tuned.

New Google Search Engine Boosts 'Blogging'

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Wed, 14 Sep 2005 19:25:00 -0400

Yahoo! News reports: "A new Google Inc. specialty search engine sifts through the Internet's millions of frequently updated personal journals, a long-anticipated development expected to help propel 'blogging' into the cultural mainstream.

The new tool, unveiled Wednesday at http://blogsearch.google.com, focuses exclusively on the material contained in the journals known as Web logs, or 'blogs.'"

Social Security application filed

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 00:00:00 -0400

This morning I went for my appointment to file for Social Security at 10:30 am as scheduled, and the application process was relatively painless and even efficient. I had all the required documentation. I was called for my interview at about 10:40 am and by 11:10 am it was done. I should receive my first Social Security check the second week in October.

Blogging's uses and shortcomings

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Sat, 10 Sep 2005 11:40:00 -0400

The other day I had an email from my friend, Stan Herman, in which he asked me to give him my current take on blogging's "uses and shortcomings." He is thinking about starting to blog. Although I wrote him a response, his question has caused me to think about why I blog and what possible value there is in it. So I thought I'd use his question as a reason to think aloud about what I think about blogging after having done it now for over 3 years.

Blogging is first and foremost an egotistical activity. Anyone who posts his thoughts on the Internet for the whole world to read, if they should choose, has to be a bit audacious. One of the quotes in my tagline files says, "An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations." -- Charles de Montesquieu. I suppose the same could be said of a blogger. But as with books, blogs are just on the menu, one of billions of websites, that a surfer can choose to read or not read as he or she sees fit.

So I write, not for the reader so much, as for myself. And I like the discipline of attempting to say what I say in an intelligible manner. For almost as long as I can remember I have written for my own benefit as a way of sorting out what I think or how I feel. Someone once referred to it as bibliotherapy, I think. It's like lying on a couch and pouring out your soul to a therapist, except that there is no therapist there to hear you. But I have kept journals that were handwritten and then once I acquired a computer, I have kept individual text files in which I merely wrote down my thoughts, a diary of sorts, of the paths down which I strolled mentally. Occasionally I go back and read what I have written, but I don't spend much time doing that. Mostly I write to get things out, not to have them for posterity.

One of the uses of blogging, for Stan's benefit and for anyone else who may have an interest, is that it gives you a way of publishing what you have written instantly. No waiting for an editor's approval. No soliciting the input of collaborators. No waiting for the publication of the finished product. As such, of course, blogs suffer from one person's idea of what is acceptable and lose the benefits that most books have where there is an editorial board or team that keeps the author on the straight and narrow. So immediacy is one of the primary benefits of blogging.

And when they are done well, blogs provide one's immediate reaction to things that are happening in his life or in the world as he sees it. Usually for me that is about technological things that I notice or find interesting. Others, of course, comment on the political landscape, and though I have my own private thoughts about those things I choose not to participate in that discussion. Most of the blogs that have high visibility though are those that become a part of the "news" of the day by making such comments. That's just not a part of what I want to do, even if I could.

By way of example, one of the things that I have been playing with this morning is a set of tools on Flickr called Flickr Toys that permit one to create some interesting things like magazine covers, calendars, mosaics and slideshows of images that he has posted to Flickr. Here's an example of one I created this morning. And this example illustrates that I'm more into proving that I can do it than because I have a use for it. Like the digital photography I post on Flickr, I don't think of myself as a great writer here at my blog any more than I think of myself as a really good photographer. I do these things because I enjoy doing them, and for no other reason really.

So I use blogging and posting my digital photographs as a way of sharing what I do with my time with those who might choose to pay attention. When I learn that someone has chosen to pay attention, I am usually surprised ... and pleased, I must add, but I don't do it to see how many people I can draw to my site.

I also use this site to alert people to things I think they may need to know, such as in this post recently. And for those who rely on my "support" I will occasionally alert them to such posts, as I did recently about that post for my friend Paul Moor. So instead of sending a widely-broadcast email and imposing my messages on my friends, as I used to do when I first discovered that I could send an email to everyone on my contact list, I post instead to my blog and if they want to read it, they can. If they don't, then I haven't loaded down their inbox with things in which they have no interest.

As to blogging's shortcomings, I suppose there are many. One is, as I have said, that they are the product of one individual's point of view and aren't edited. However, perhaps the biggest shortcoming is that they are not a source of revenue, as many who come to them hope they will be. Oh, I know there are ad revenue schemes that one could employ, but I don't choose to participate in those either. I don't expect to become rich by blogging, so I am not disappointed when there is no compensation. My blog is a labor of love for me.

Another shortcoming of blogging is that, if you choose to allow comments, you occasionally have to deal with people posting comments that may be hurtful or offensive to some other readers. I've had to deal with that occasionally, and for a time I turned off comments because of it. Then I decided it would be easier to simply delete those comments that I find unacceptable for whatever reason I see them as such. Fortunately, I haven't been beset as some have by what is called "comment spam." However, now that I mention it, I suppose I may have to deal with it at some point in the future. Others have, so why should I be spared? But that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it.

Fortunately for me blogging has been primarily a joyous experience. It gives me a way to post information on the Internet easily and for those few friends who choose to read my blog, it provides them a way of keeping up with what is going on in my life. I don't expect a lot from blogging and therefore I am seldom disappointed by it. I like having a place where people can go and find out what old Perry is saying these days. So that's why I blog and why I am likely to continue to do so as long as I have the ability.

Yahoo IM users get more than they bargained for ...

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Mon, 5 Sep 2005 07:53:00 -0400

Read this warning from CNET News.com: "If you're one of the tens of millions of Yahoo users asked to upgrade your instant-messaging software this week, be on your toes: The update can open the door to unwanted PC houseguests--and setting changes--by default."

Although this kind of marketing strategy is becoming increasingly common, I recommend that you either not install the upgrade or if you insist on installing it, at least do a custom install and elect not to have the more objectionable features installed on your computer.

Update on my exercise regimen

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Mon, 5 Sep 2005 06:55:00 -0400

For those of you who are interested, I have continued my morning routine of walking around the neighborhood since July 13th without interruption. I have just returned from today's morning walk, and since I retired recently my schedule has become a bit more predictable and regular. I have my radio set to come on at 6:00 am and after the usual required first activities of the day, I begin my walk by about 6:15 am each day. That means when I begin the walk it is still dark. As I walk, dawn begins to break and with each step more light is available to me. I have always enjoyed seeing the sun rise, so I really enjoy this time and this routine.

Perry's Podcast #2

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Sun, 4 Sep 2005 05:38:00 -0400

After much delay, Perry's Podcast #2 is now available for you to hear. Click on this link to listen.

In this podcast, Juan Gutierrez, who brought me to Knoxville in 1979, and I talk for about 45 minutes about his activities since he left Vernine and Associates in 1988 and his plans for the immediate and the long-term future. This podcast was recorded on September 1, 2005, but because of my problems in being connected to the Internet over the last several days, I've only now been able to get this podcast uploaded to BigFeeder.com.

As always, if you have feedback, you can write me at talktoperry (at) gmail.com. You are also welcome to send me an audio file (mp3) with your comments, and I may be able to use them in a future podcast.

Connection restored

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Sat, 3 Sep 2005 18:56:00 -0400

Today I took my old RCA modem back to Comcast and exchanged it for a new one, a Terayon modem, and when I came home and installed it using the installation software, it would not connect. So I called the tech support line and was told that it had to be provisioned before I would be able to use it. We attempted to do that via their standard process, but that didn't work. Therefore I had to wait for the issue to be escalated and provisioned remotely. I left the modem on and walked away to watch the football game.

I have just come back to test to see whether it had been done, and to my surprise and delight, it had. I'm now back to being connected again, I believe.

Flaky Internet Connection

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Sat, 3 Sep 2005 07:47:00 -0400

Since Thursday, the 1st, my connection to the Internet (Comcast) has been erratic. It appears that activities that don't place too much demand on the connection usually work, but if I call upon the service to do something that places a sustained load on the system, then the connection drops for a minute or two and then reconnects after "getting its breath." Therefore I've been unable to upload the podcast that Juan Gutierrez and I did on Thursday, though I've tried at least 10 times to do so, and I can't sustain a conversation with Skype because of the connection dropping. Even surfing to different web sites causes the connection to drop. Since I have my email program set to check for new mail every 10 minutes and since it only checks 3 accounts, that doesn't seem to cause the connection to drop but anything that requires sustained use does. In fact, I'm not sure this post will be successfully sent to Blogger, but I'll soon find out.

The bureaucracy delivers

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Wed, 31 Aug 2005 09:05:00 -0400

If you're going to criticize the bureaucracy when it is slow and obstructionist, you should praise it when it delivers, as it did yesterday in my case. I received the certified divorce decree from the State of Tennessee's Department of Health, the Vital Records division, and I received a notice from the SSA of my scheduled appointment for September 12th. Color me impressed.

Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (Perry) — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 08:42:00 -0400

To those of you who have written to offer your congratulations on my retirement and to offer your best wishes or to share your own experience and advice, let me say "thank you." I appreciate hearing from you for a couple of reasons. One is that your good wishes and advice are valued and appreciated, and another is that it means you are visiting here occasionally and checking in on me. It's about as close as one can come nowadays to living in a small town where friends and neighbors check in on you to make sure you are still around and kicking. For all of the disadvantages associated with "nosy neighbors" knowing your business in a small town, there was, and I suppose in some cases still is, a certain sense of comfort in knowing that someone else cares enough to pay attention to you and your activities.

Someone asked yesterday "how it feels" being retired. My answer was it felt like any other Monday morning before I left for work. It'll take a while I suppose before I realize that I don't have a scheduled time to be somewhere or an obligation to be ready to answer the phone at a scheduled hour.

My first encounter with the Social Security Administration's bureaucracy was not unexpected, but it only served to reinforce the stereotypical views. I looked in the phone book for an address for the SSA office here in Knoxville, but none was listed. The only thing available to me was an 800 number (800 772 1213), which I called. I had hoped to get the address of the local SSA office. So rather than encountering a person (people don't answer official telephones these days, only IVRs do), I began listening to the long-winded IVR message for a recognizable option that would lead to the answer to my question, and to my amazement, there was one! It said something like "For information about the hours of operation and the address of the Social Security office near you, press 2." Though surprised to find what I was looking for, I happily pressed 2. When I complied with the instructions to enter my zip code on the telephone keypad, I heard the message, "we're sorry but locator service is not provided for the zip code you entered." Now, before you jump to the conclusion that I, being an old fart, entered a non-existent zip code, I'd like to reassure you that I've just gone through the same procedure again paying particularly close attention to make sure to get the zip code right, only to get the same outcome. I didn't mis-key the zip code. Apparently I live in too remote a location for the SSA to acknowledge that I/we exist!

Frustrated by my first attempt to navigate the 800#-IVR swamp, I looked further down the page under the SSA listing and found a listing for "retirement," which offered some hope of relief. I called that number and reached a human being named Sheila. Ah, I thought, salvation at last. When I told Sheila that all I needed was the location of the local SS office, she asked was I a TVA employee to which I, of course, answered "no." She said that unfortunately the yellow pages had their number listed under the SSA listing, and that her office had nothing to do with the SSA. However, because she had received a number of such calls she offered to give me the correct number. It was, you guessed it, 800 772 1213. Sound familiar?

I plunged back into the swamp from which I had come. And this time I listened to more of the IVR commercial and went beyond that obvious choice (#2) on to option 6, "For additional services or to speak with a representative, press 6." After a wait, a human being, whom I'll call Joyce (I have actually forgotten her name), came on the line. I told her I'd like the address of the local SS office, and she gave it to me, 8530 Kingston Pike, but she told me, "you can't just go there without an appointment." (What was I thinking??!!) So she asked whether I'd like to schedule an appointment. "Well, yes," I said. She informed me that the first available appointment would be on September 12th at 10:30 AM. I said, "I'll take it." I learned I'll have to have a certified copy of my birth certificate (which I had expected and have available) and a copy of my W-2 from 2004 (which I have), but to my surprise, she also said I'd have to have a certified copy of my divorce decree (which I hadn't anticipated and don't have). She gave me a number to call where I can obtain a copy.

Off once again to a new IVR swamp, the Tennessee office of the Department of Health, the Vital Records section. There I found that their "representative" (notice the singular noun) was busy, but I was given a web site where I could make application for a copy of my divorce decree. Now here I quote accurately what the IVR gave as that address "ww2.state.tn.us/health/vr." If you type in that address to your web browser, you'll learn, as I did, that the "Page is not found."

Being a veteran user of the Internet and growing more determined by the minute, I turned, as I often do, to Google and entered the search term, "State of Tennessee." There I found a link to the Tennessee Department of Health and clicked on it. Under it, I found a link to "Birth, Death, Marriage and Divorce Records." The address, it turns out, was actually, http://www2.state.tn.us/health/vr/index.htm. If you'll notice, there are 3 "w's" not 2. Once there, I was able to apply online for the divorce decree which will cost me $31.00, $12.00 for the search of the records, a $9.00 fee ("Please be advised that there is a $9.00 fee for using this service in addition to certificate costs and delivery options.") and $10.00 to have it sent by FedEx to make sure it arrives before my now-precious appointment on September 12, 2005 at 10:30 am.

So now, I await my appointment date to make application for my Social Security. I can only hope that the date arrives before the Social Security funds run out!

My advice to any of you who may be facing this task is a variation of that given to voters in Chicago, "Apply early and often."