It's Not Work When You Love It

What's "home"? It's complicated...

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Fri, 23 May 2025 02:34:00 +0000

What's "home" mean?

We toss the word around on a daily basis without thinking much about it.

But its meaning is richer and more complicated than our usage implies.

At least, I can say I have complicated relationship with the word "home".

When I was young, I was split between two houses.

I spent most time in the house where I felt like an unwanted guest. I spent a lot less time in the other, but felt safer there.

So, which was home?

I once owned a house for about 4 years. But, I gave it up when I left a very broken relationship.

Was it home?

Since 2019, I've moved every 3-9 months.

Did/do I have a home?

Would you refer to your parent's house as a home of yours?

Is the city you grew up in home?

Is where you currently live home? At what point did it become home?

My wife and I spent several months in India in 2023.

The cultural and societal differences made it a constant struggle for her.

But, we lived with friends while there and were integrated into their family.

I recently asked her, "do feel like you have a home in India?" She paused a moment... and said, "I know it sounds crazy, but yeah, I do".

Whatever "home" is, it's obviously important to us. It's just hard to define.

It's split between physical and emotional space. And, the boundaries are constantly shifting.

"Home" seems to have elements of:

Safety
Familiarity
Comfort

It's a (physical and/or mental) space where we can be ourselves.

It's where we have relationships with others. Close relationships, like with a spouse, and friendly relationships, like with the owner of the local bakery.

It's where we sleep well at night because we feel safe from harm.

It's where we know what to expect. Where our dishes are, what we'll find at the grocery store, who we'll meet along the way.

What happens when someone we love leaves our physical space? Is the space still home?

Maybe we feel less safe.

Maybe we feel lonely.

Maybe we feel lost.

Are we still "home" when our physical space stops fulfilling our needs?

If we reunite with someone we love in some place we've never been, and everything suddenly feels familiar, is that "home"?

Have you ever traveled somewhere you've never been before and realized you feel more at "home" than you've felt in years?

What's "home"?

Maybe it's an act of feeling.

Not a noun, but a verb.

Maybe home is simply when we say, "I feel at home".

A strange experience

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Wed, 04 Dec 2024 12:37:00 +0000

I had a strange experience last night.

I'd been working on a personal project and ended up going to sleep around midnight.

I was dead tired, so fell asleep quickly.

The next thing I recall is waking up because of some noise that sounded like a pigeon flapping.

Still sleepy, I realized that, yeah, something was actually flying around the little studio apartment.

So, I turned on the bedside lamp.

And saw a bat flying in circles above me.

I was dumbfounded.

"I love bats!"

"But, they carry diseases like rabies."

"How cool to see one so close."

"But, what if it bites me or poops on something?"

"How did it get in here, anyways?"

"Should I open the window? Maybe it'll fly out."

So, I just laid there. Watching the bat fly in circles over and over.

The bat seemed as dumbfounded as me.

Then, it landed on the cupboards above the studio's kitchenette.

It struggled to get it's footing for a second. Then, it squeezed into the tiny gap between the top of the cupboards and the ceiling.

I didn't realize bats were so small when not flying. Like the size of a little mouse. Like the size of my thumb.

The bat slowly crawled from one end of cupboard top to the other.

And, once it reached the other end, it retreated deeper into the tiny space and disappeared.

Maybe the gap between the top of the cupboards and the ceiling was tighter at the end it landed on and it didn't fit inside.

Either way, I just laid there. Still sleepy. Still trying to process the situation.

Did this really just happen?

Was the whole bat situation just a dream?

I got out of bed. Cautiously, because I wasn't sure if the bat might come and start flying around the room again.

There's nowhere the bat could've gotten into the room from. Unless someone who stayed here before me left the window open at night.

But... bats are tiny.

What if bats live in the walls of the building?

Am I crazy? Did I just dream this all up?

I timidly opened the cupboard doors, half expecting a bat to fly out into my face.

Nothing.

On the ceiling of the cupboard the bat disappeared above, I saw a vent. A little mesh screen on the cupboard ceiling. And behind it, a deeper hole fading into the internals of the building itself, allowing heat and steam and oil from the stove top to disappear into the dark.

Despite being unsure about whether I wanted to be in the vulnerable state of sleep, I quickly settled back into it.

This morning, I still questioned whether it'd been a dream.

After fully waking up, I took a sturdy chair from the dining table and placed it in front of the cupboards.

I climbed up and squinted to see into the gap between the cupboards and the ceiling.

Darkness.

Then, shining the flashlight from my phone into it, I confirmed it wasn't a dream.

The little thumb of a bat receded from the light, shuffling off to who knows where.

All it left behind is doubt.

Do I tell the apartment's owner? Would she believe me?

Even if she did, what could she do about it?

Maybe I should block the gap between the cupboards and the ceiling.

But, what if the bat just flew in the window at some point and got stuck?

Life is surreal.

Startup Weekend: Still my favorite event

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Thu, 28 Nov 2024 22:07:00 +0000

For a long time, hackathons were my pastime.

What's a hackathon?

Basically, an event where the objective is to build and launch a new product or business in 1-2 days.

So, while others spent their weekend doing things like sports and art, I spent mine coming up with business ideas and trying to make them a reality.

Then, in mid-2016, I joined a startup. And I couldn't set aside weekends to go to hackathons anymore.

(Actually, I did manage to squeeze one into 2017.)

Between work and COVID shutting down in-person events, I haven't been to a hackathon since.

Well, this past weekend I broke that streak.

Startup Weekend

About a month ago, I was thrilled to learn that my favorite hackathon, Startup Weekend, was scheduled to happen in the nearby city of San Salvador, Jujuy.

Startup Weekend is an event where participants:

Gather on Friday night
Pick business ideas and form teams around them
Refine the business idea and try to launch it during the weekend
Pitch the results of the work on Sunday evening

I was even more excited when I convinced my wife to participate, too. She'd have a chance to share in an experience that's given me so many valuable to learnings and memories.

I've written about my experience at Startup Weekend before.

But, this was my 17th Startup Weekend. And, the first after a 7 years gap.

So, I felt like it was worth reflecting on.

The experience

One of the reasons I wanted to write about this particular experiences is because it was a unique one for me.

It's the first Startup Weekend I've been to that wasn't in English.

Startup Weekend generally kicks off with people lining up to give 60-second pitches for new businesses they'd like to create.

Over time, I've gotten pretty comfortable doing quick idea pitches.

But, this was the first time I had to do it in Spanish.

In fact, it was the first time I'd spoken in front of any audience in Spanish.

So, I was pretty nervous.

Would I be able to finds the words to describe my idea?

Would people understand my accent?

Well, I got past my fear. And, I'm pretty sure at least like 80% of the people understood my accent.

So, that was a big win for me, even in just the first hours of the event. ✅

My wife pitched an idea too. Like me, she was nervous. But, more because she'd never pitched a business idea to a crowd at all.

Regardless, she did it and presented like pro.

Her idea ended up getting the 2nd most number of votes when everyone chose which ideas they were most interested in working on.

So, it was turned turned into one of the official project for the weekend.

From there, she formed a team. Then, led the team through the process of developing the idea and pitching it to a panel of judges Sunday night.

(I had the luck of being allowed onto the team. 😉)

Startup Weekend, across cultures

This event was a great opportunity to see Startup Weekend in action in a country and culture different from the one I grew up in.

Amazing thing: It brought out all the same passion and excitement I've seen at every Startup Weekend.

That was what I'd expected. But, it's one thing to expect it and another experience it first-hand.

As always, I:

Met awesome people
Learned new things
Grew from the process of trying to accomplish something challenging in a short time

I also saw something I've never seen in any hackathon, work environment, or elsewhere.

Two teammates worked 100% from their mobile phones.

They did research, website design, and created our pitch deck.

And the quality they delivered was beyond what most people deliver on a full laptop.

It blew my mind.

If you'd told me a week ago was I was going to witness, I'd have told you I'll believe it when I see it.

Well, now I've seen it.

New lessons

Here're a couple key take-aways for me.

A couple of them're things I've noticed before, but still need to improve on.

A couple are new insights.

1. Cut corners and get the job done

I have perfectionist tendencies. This slows me down when I need to be moving fast.

I think that over time, I've gotten better at tuning it up and down. But, it remains a challenge for me.

There were numerous points during the event where I realized I was obsessing over details and made myself let go.

But, the moment that stands out the most is a point where my wife asked me, "why don't you use a no-code tool?"

Honestly, the idea hadn't occurred to me.

It was like a splash of cold water that brought me to my senses.

Here I was, struggling with an unfamiliar technology that kept breaking.

Once I'd started down that path, I began obsessing over fixing the issues with the technology instead of whether I was using the best technology for the job that needed to be done.

I lost perspective on the most important thing. Which was simply to deliver something sufficient to demonstrate the concept.

My wife's insight saved me from failing to deliver.

2. Don't take your experience for granted; be patient with others

There're a couple key lessons that form core of what Startup Weekend teaches us.

These're things like validating assumptions, identifying problems before building solutions, etc.

I've spent so much time thinking about and practicing these that they've come to feel natural.

Which makes it important for me to remember the mental toll I paid to practice these new ways of thinking.

And, to be aware that others around me may be paying that mental toll now.

So, when it feels like the team's talking in circles, it's likely not with the intent to disagree.

It's more likely the act of processing these new ways of thinking.

3. Sometimes, your area of deepest expertise isn't where your attention's needed

I was the only person on the team with substantial technical experience.

So, that's where I focused my energy.

After some initial team conversations set our direction, I went into my own little bubble to focus on setting up the foundations of the tech we'd need to demo the concept.

I thought the rest of the team would work through any blockers they ran into and continually identify a path forward.

But on the morning of the final day of the event, I found that the rest of the team was frustrated and stuck on a couple issues they couldn't get past.

Tensions were high and they weren't having fun.

I felt a sense of obligation to deliver in the area where I have specialized knowledge. But, I also realized at that point that it wasn't the most valuable contribution I could make to the team.

The most valuable thing I could do at that moment was to reintegrate into team discussions.

So, I closed my laptop recognizing that there was a high probability I wouldn't deliver what I'd originally promised.

On one hand, I felt like I was letting the team down. On the other, I felt like something else was more important.

4. When it comes to human decisions, sometimes you'll never know if you did the right thing

I don't know if separating myself out from the team was the wrong thing to do.

The main reason for doing it was that the biggest source of my own learning was struggling through the process.

I wanted to let the team have their own experience and fully capture the value it creates.

But, I don't know if separating myself out from the team was the right thing to do, either.

Maybe I could've helped make the experience less stressful without taking away from the benefit.

Either way, in the end, team was elated, proud, and eager to participate in future events.

So, things worked out.

But, I'll never know whether some alternative set of choices would've led to more ideal short and long-term outcomes.

I have to live with never knowing whether I did the right thing.

5. When faced with uncertainty, we latch onto whatever we can make sense of

At one point, a teammate was very, very insistent on coming up with a detailed and precise list of costs for the business.

Multiple mentors gave feedback that the numbers were variable and estimates should be reasonable, not precise.

But, the response was, "yeah, but how much does X cost?"

It occurred to me that this's a form of what's known as "bike shedding".

That is, when faced with complexity, we tend to spend excess time on the parts that make sense to us, but aren't very important.

Business models are loaded with complexity and uncertainty.

So, it's natural to want to spend time on parts that're easy to make sense of (like costs), even though they might not be the most important thing at the moment.

If your team's bike shedding, what do you do?

Do you fight to convince them the issue they're obsessing over isn't important?

At some point, that just becomes as much of a waste of time as the bike shedding itself.

I find it can be more productive to just help them arrive at an answer they're happy with as quickly as possible. Then, move on.

6. Even if you know all the details, it doesn't mean you'll present them well

After re-joining discussions about the business model, I built up an understanding of it in my head.

I knew who the customers were, I had a very clear picture of the problems they faced, and I understood what value we could provide them.

I knew how we could deliver that value and ways we could make money in doing so.

Each team member took turns pitching the business to mentors who stopped by our workspace.

When my turn came, I thought it'd be a breeze.

But while making the pitch, I quickly realized I was rambling.

I was talking and talking and using way more words than necessary to get the point across. And, I lost the attention of the audience in the process.

I realized that despite the information being all there in my head, it didn't come out in the well-organized manner I'd have liked it to.

Presenting an idea effectively requires organization and practice. No matter how well you know the material.

7. ChatGPT is an amazing sidekick

As mentioned, I continually ran into blockers with the technology I was working with.

It was frustrating.

But, I was also amazed by how fast I was able to resolve them with help from ChatGPT.

Most of the time, ChatGPT didn't have the solution. But working with it got me there _at least_ 2-3 times faster than reading technical documentaiton and researching via Google.

Modern tech allows a single person to move at shocking speeds. _Especially_, when dealing with unfamiliar technologies.

Productivity gains for AI aren't years out. They're here today.

It's only going to accelerate from here.

Old lessons

Some learnings show up on repeat at Startup Weekend events.

And, as expected, they showed up in full force at this one.

1. Recognize assumptions:

Sometimes, we believe something because it feels correct. Other times, we believe something because we have substantial concrete evidence supporting it. It's critical to differentiate these two situations. The less concrete evidence we have, the higher the risk of being wrong. If we build a business on an incorrect assumption, the odds of the business failing are very high. We increase the odds of success by recognizing which beliefs are based on feeling and seeking concrete evidence to validate those beliefs. Each time we determine a belief was incorrect and we modify it to more accurately reflect reality, we increase the likelihood that our project succeeds.

2. Prioritize the biggest risk:

Businesses are made up of a variety of interacting parts. So when we create a new one, we start out with a lot of assumptions. Each assumption carries risk to the business's success. Some assumptions are more important to the business than others. The more important an assumption, the more risk it poses to the business's success. Since our time and resources are limited, we need to make sure to prioritize working on whatever risk is biggest at any given moment. If we spend time working on lower-risk items, there's a good chance that time ends up having being wasted when a higher-risk item forces us to change direction.

3. Verify there's a problem that needs solving:

Businesses are built on an exchange of value. Businesses solve a problem for customers and, in exchange, customers give businesses money. So, to create a new business, we first need to find a customer: Someone with an problem painful enough that they're willing to pay us to solve it. Whether or not customers exist is the biggest risk we face when creating a new business. So, the most important thing we can do to increase our chances of success is go out and verify assumptions we have about the customer.

4. Interviews over surveys:

The process of creating a new business is: assume -> gather information -> revise assumptions -> repeat. Since it's an iterative, exploratory process, one of our best tools for information gathering is interviewing candidate customers. It's natural to want to use surveys instead of interviews because they let us avoid the emotional labor of talking to strangers (and possible rejection). But, surveys are made up of a fixed set of questions. They're rigid. Interviews, on the other hand, are flexible. They allow us to modify the questions we ask based on what a person's told us so far. So, at when creating a new business, a well-run interview will give us much more useful information than a well-run survey.

5. Know the difference between delivering value and delivering a solution:

Delivering value means resolving a customer's problem. A solution is the way in which that value's delivered. There're lots of ways to deliver value. Each way has its strengths and weaknesses. In everyday life, we're used to buying goods and services that have years of development behind them. It's easy to overlook that when a person has an unsolved problem, they often just want any solution that solves the problem. They don't need something that has years of development behind it. When creating a new business, one of our scarcest resources is time. So, we minimize risk by choosing a solution that solves the problem, but takes minimal time to develop. The solution'll probably be ugly. But it's only worth spending time and money on making it beautiful if we're able to concretely verify that customers need that from us.

6. The process follows an undefined path:

When creating a new business, we're performing a process that involves constant modification of direction. By definition, the path we'll end up traveling is unknown at the start. That uncertainty often creates emotional stress. But, it doesn't have to. When we recognize the nature of the process, we become more emotionally resilient. It helps to avoid becoming fixated on arriving at some destination defined by initial assumptions. It's much less stressful to focus on just figuring out what the next step should be, based on what we learned up to this point. In the end, it's the journey that's rewarding rather than arriving at some specific destination.

7. You don't have to do exactly what people tell you to:

Just like we don't know where our journey will take us, others don't either. At events like Startup Weekend, we get bombarded with information and people telling us we need to do one thing or another. I can't count the number of times I've seen authoritative figures, like mentors, give conflicting advice. The first says "go left", while the second says "go right". Then a third comes along and disorients you by convincing you that you need to forget left and right and think about up and down instead. If we rigidly adhere to what they tell us, we'll constantly end up back at zero, never making progress. It's critical for us to recognize that advice is opinion. Remember that we're the ones talking with candidate customers. We're the ones becoming experts on our business. Advice is tremendously useful, but we have to evaluate whether it helps us progress or throws us into a tailspin.

8. It's only a weekend:

It won't feel like it, but the stakes at Startup Weekend are extremely low. The first night of the event gets us excited as we meet new people, share ideas, and form teams to compete with one another. But, don't forget that when the event's over and Monday rolls around, we all go back to our regular lives. The stress of preparing a pitch for Sunday will be gone. The arguments between teammates will be gone. The mental pressure of thinking in a way we're not used to will be gone. So, try not to stress. Try not to take things personally when there's disagreement on the team. Focus on learning something new, making new friends, and having fun. Of course, when Monday rolls around, hopefully you not only leave the stressful stuff behind, but also carry the good stuff forward. New friends, new ways to thinking, etc. You might find that your life's a little before than it was before you participated in the event.

9. Judging doesn't make your concept good or bad:

Another thing that happens over and over in these events is that we all become focused on "winning". We follow a checklist for what the judges are looking for and forget that we're really there to learn how to create a new business. Having event "winners" is just a tool to motivate participants. I'm on the fence of whether it causes more harm than good. Either way, it's in everyone's best interest to remember that feedback from judges is neither validation or invalidation of your business idea. It's feedback. Just like with mentors and other authority figures, it's something to consider. If you really believe there's a business opportunity, what matters is that you're able to continue runnning the entrepreneurial process. Winners of Startup Weekend _almost never_ continue on to build a business. But, lots of people who don't win the event go on to build functional businesses. It feels good to "win" and it feels bad to not win. But, try not to give whatever situation you find yourself in too much of your emotional energy.

Just for fun

While working on this post, I made a list of all the hackathon projects I could recall working on over the years.

Here're a few of them:

(2012) Civic Rally: A web app enabling local communities to publicize and collaborate on local projects.
(2013) TimeTravelFM: A physical radio with a dial to change the era of the music played.
(2014) French75: A mobile app to purchase and schedule in-home manicures.
(2015) Push-to-rent: A web app making it easy to find and apply for affordable housing.
(2016) CSV-to-API: A web service that makes the data from spreadsheets accessible to any app.
(2017) BabyBooks: An app to that generates age-appropriate books for young children.
(2024) EvenTesoro: An app that makes it easy to find local events and ensures you never miss one you'd regret missing.

If I don't push on good days, the bad days'll be that much harder

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 14:32:00 +0000

I have a routine of jogging and doing body-weight exercises.

Some days are good, and some are bad.

Monday was bad.

I felt it from the outset.

I didn't want to go and had to drag myself out the door.

As I got going, I was out of breath. With every step, I just wanted to lay down and sleep. I felt sick in my stomach. I felt like vomiting.

But, today? Today was good.

It wasn't one of those superman days, but I was ready and eager to exercise.

As I got going, I felt strong, alert, capable.

I enjoyed the jog. I loved the ease with which it came to me.

And then, in the middle of it all, it occurred to me:

I should be pushing myself.

I should be pushing myself on the good days, because if I don't, the bad days'll be that much harder.

So, I did.

I pushed until I was out of breath. Until my stomach was upset and my arms were dead.

In the end, I arrived home tired, but happy. Still feeling good.

There're a lot of times I don't want to push.

Sometimes, it's because I feel bad. Sometimes, it's because I feel good.

Either way, I do.

I keep running when I feel like I'm gonna vomit. I keep fighting to understand when I feel hopelessly stupid. I keep going, even though a voice in my head keeps telling me I'm nothing but worthless shit.

If I didn't push on the good days, I'd have nothing to keep my head above water on the bad days.

Super short story: When the music stops

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Thu, 10 Oct 2024 13:05:00 +0000

This is a short story I wrote at some point in a (physical) notepad I carry with me. I most likely wrote it sometime in 2023.

They say that when you die, you know you're dead because you can't hear music anymore.

That night, the wind blew outside Walter and Claire's old house.

The wind chime tinkled, sweet in their ears, as they sat at their kitchen table, silently keeping one another company.

"How are you, Walter?"

Walter remain silent.

He slowly looked up at Claire with a sad look.

"Do you hear that, Claire?"

"No, Walter. What is it?"

"The wind chime. It stopped."

Claire looked deep into Walter's eyes.

Walter slowly drew back his chair.

He paused a moment, then stood up.

"Well, Claire, I'd best be going now."

"I know, Walter."

Walter started towards the door.

He'd always had a spritely step. Pit pat, pit pat, as he danced across the floor.

But, now, it was slow and tired.

Walter took the door handle gently, turned it, and drew the door open.

The air was still now.

Walter gave a deep sigh.

"I'd best be going now."

As Walter placed one foot out the door, he paused.

He turned to look back at Claire.

"Do you hear that, Claire?"

"What is it, Walter?"

Walter was silent for a moment, lost in a stare.

Then, a smile spread over his face.

"It's beautiful."

Note to self: Awe in the mundane

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Tue, 08 Oct 2024 13:51:00 +0000

This is another note I found when looking through a (physical) notepad I carry with me. I most likely wrote it sometime in 2023.

Seeing the colosseum in-person was a dream.

Growing up, history classes taught that it was the center of social life in a great empire. Events we can hardly imagine today were commonplace. It was the seat of glory, spectacle, and masculinity. It's the kind of place young boys fantasize about. And, honestly, fully grown men, too.

People speak of it being awe-inspiring. They say its presence is imposing. They say its connection with legends is energizing. When people visit, they stick out their fists and give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down, assuming the power to seal some gladiator's fate. Others stand in the arena sand and raise their arms in victory, imagining the raucous crowd adoring them.

I don't know what's happened to me in the years since my youth.

When I saw the colosseum in-person, I wasn't filled with awe.

In fact, I didn't even feel moved enough to go inside.

Maybe it was the dense crowd of tourists all around.

There just wan't any adventure to it. There wasn't any excitement.

I love history. It blows my mind how the events of the past brought us into the present.

So, why didn't I feel anything when I stood in front of this hallowed place?

It felt disconnected. It felt static.

Maybe it was because I've traveled and seen different parts of the world at this point. Maybe the novelty of certain things just wears off.

Maybe it has to do with where I place value. Glory has its appeal, but not in the way it once did. I'm much more interested in the complexities of living and what it means to be human. In the seemingly mundane struggles of day-to-day life.

I'm also more interested in action. I'm interested in exploring and discovering. I like an element of uncertainty. I'm animated by the excitement of discovery and learning.

Note to self: I want to live for the journey, not the destination

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Mon, 07 Oct 2024 19:19:00 +0000

I found this written on a notepad I use to keep notes. I'm not sure exactly when I wrote it, but it was probably in 2023 or early 2024, based on when when I bought the notepad.

My mission in life is to live it as a journey and not a destination.

To appreciate every tree, every stone, and every bug that I cross on the path.

To continually grow in my acceptance of myself as who I am.

To consistently seek balance in all things.

And, in the end, to able to say, "We sure did have a good time, didn't we?"

The 22 Pixar Storytelling Rules: My 7 favorites

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 17:39:00 +0000

If you could have one superpower what would it be?

Ever since I first saw superman, flying was my jam.

But once I started dealing with puberty, mind reading nabbed top spot.

Then, in 2014, I was at a conference. I was very much an adult. And, the question came up as an ice breaker.

Maybe I lost something of the magic of childhood. But, now, I wanted something that could actually exist. Something I could actually attain.

So, I narrowed the question: "if I could have any ability without spending years to achieve it, what would it be?"

My answer: To be the best storyteller in the world.

Storytelling is a real-world power.

It connects people. It unites people. It gets things done. It's the fuel for accomplishing impossible things.

So, whenever I hear about storytelling, I pay attention.

For example, I was recently listening to an interview of Shaan Puri called "How to Master Storytelling". And, this tip struck me:

"The hero doesn't have to win. The audience loves the hero for the way they try."

What an insight!

He mentioned it was from The 22 Pixar Storytelling Rules.

It's a great guide. Worth a full read.

But, here're the ones I love most (paraphrased):

[Rule 1] We love the hero more for trying than for succeeding.
Our lives are characterized by the struggles we go through. Since we can't control the outcomes, it's the fight that's noble. Stories are really just simulations of life. And, like in real life, it's the hero's willingness to fight that touches us. Not necessarily the outcome.
[Rule 2] Make it interesting for the audience, not the storyteller.
Telling a story is an attempt to deliver a message. If the message isn't received, we've failed. Obviously, we can't force others to receive our message. So, we need to make it something they want to receive. The only way to do that is to always be thinking from their perspective.
[Rule 6] What’s your hero most comfortable with? Put them through the polar opposite.
If the hero's always comfortable, there's no struggle. If there's no struggle, there's no story. Know your hero's comfort zone and make them struggle.
[Rule 13] Give your characters strong opinions. Flexibility kills audience interest.
We decide how much to engage with others by looking at how much their opinions align our own. If someone doesn't have any strong opinions, we don't really feel much about them. Except maybe indifference. And indifference is the fastest way to lose someone's interest.
[Rule 15] Put yourself in your characters' place. Be authentic about how it'd feel.
If the hero's feelings or reactions aren't things we'd experience in their place, we won't be able to put ourselves in their position. If we can't put ourselves in their position, we're not going to care much about how the story goes. As an added bonus, if we can put ourselves in their position, we're willing to suspend disbelief in other dimensions (like living in a world of where superpowers exist).

Bonus points: In the interview of Shaan Puri, he advises that we shouldn't tell stories by saying what happened. Instead, we should show how it felt.
[Rule 16] Make sure what's at risk for the hero is obvious. Then, stack the odds against them.
If nothing's at risk, the struggle doesn't matter. So, giving the audience the context for what's at risk is important. Likewise, if the odds of success are high, there's no struggle. Low odds of success create the struggle.
[Rule 19] Use coincidences to get characters into trouble. Don't use coincidences get characters out of trouble.
We've all experienced unfortunate surprises. We get fired, we get in an accident, someone close to us dies. On the other hand, it's not common that the issues these things cause are resolved by coincidences. Resolving problems with coincidences is lazy storytelling. It destroys believability. It makes an invested audience feel deceived.

I hope you find the pointers as insightful as I did!

Happy storytelling!

The tyrany of the evergreen excuse

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Tue, 20 Feb 2024 06:11:00 +0000

I'll always remember my high school running coach saying:

"Excuses are like assholes. Everyone's got one and they stink."

We all hate hearing excuses when things don't go as expected.

But, I think some excuses are better than others.

Sometimes, excuses are situational. Things like:

"The reports weren't delivered on time because we had an unexpected system outage."

Or:

"I was late for dinner because there was an accident that caused a backup in traffic."

These are single-use products. They apply only to a specific situation at a specific time. Use once and discard.

On the other hand, some excuses are evergreen. For example:

"We weren't able to get the project done on time because it's really complex."

Or:

"I didn't exercise today because I didn't have the energy."

Evergreen excuses are re-usable. They never expire. They're always available for use.

When we're accountable to others, evergreen excuses are a quick path to getting fired/breaking up/etc.

When we're accountable to ourselves, they're a quick path to self-loathing. When accountable to ourselves, we make the decision of whether or not to accept our own excuse.

Evergreen excuses give us permission to be lazy.

They're always ready to giving us an easy out. Ready to tell us it's okay that we didn't do the thing we should've done.

They're addictive. Each time we use them, it becomes easier to use them the next time.

We get used to the easy road.

Eventually, taking the easy road is no longer a decision. It's just becomes the road we're on.

That road leads to disappointment.

It's a path that leads away from our dreams.

Chatting unusual career transitions on the Educative podcast

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Mon, 19 Apr 2021 12:27:00 +0000

A good friend of mine, Lee Ngo, hosts the Educative podcast, which is a great source of inspiration for people starting or growing their careers in software development.

He recently invited me on to chat about my unusual career path.

Here's a (very) brief summary of my journey:

I fell in love with computer programming in college. But, after working at a large corporation for a number of years, I found that I'd lost my passion and questioned whether it was really what I wanted to be doing.

I ended up leaving the company and joining a venture capital firm, where I focused on working with portfolio companies on recruiting and HR instead of software development.

Eventually, I realized that, yes, I did, in fact, love software development and made another career shift back into it.

Here's the conversation (~15 minutes): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK5qycRgf1Q

That time I farted in front of a girl I liked 😳

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Fri, 26 Mar 2021 12:27:00 +0000

Trust me, when I say there can be too much of a good thing

I. Love. Korean food.

There’s something about fat-marbled meat, coated in a sweet, savory sauce that drives my consumptive instincts wild. Plus, I love variety, so the the accompanying banchan (those half-dozen side dishes, each a gem in its own right) drives me crazy.

I learned the joys of Korean food in college, where I had a Korean roommate and a number of other friends who were already in the know. It was love at first taste.

So, the first time I asked a girl out on a date, what better way to impress her than to take her to a Korean restaurant?

It was brilliant (in the American sense). And the girl said yes, so it was doubly brilliant (in the British sense).

As we settled in at the restaurant, the waiters laid out a cornucopia of visually stimulating side dishes. We were soon taking turns grilling beautiful meat after beautiful meat on the grill built right into the table. It was smiles and delight all around.

So, as you can imagine, I was quite pleased with myself as we left the restaurant. I was proud to have shown off this culinary treasure and, to my luck, my date was a light eater, so my belly was extra full.

That sense of satisfaction trailed me the whole way home, from the door of the restaurant to the parking in front of her apartment, where I'd planned on dropping her off.

And then, I felt it.

A rumble, emanating from deep within my bowels.

“Uh oh…”, I thought.

We sat there in the car chatting for a minute or two, recapping the fun of the evening, before she invited me to have tea before heading home.

I could already feel pressure swelling in my lower abdomen. I knew we were in the danger zone.

But she was insistent and I was enjoying the conversation and.. fuck it, it'll be fine.

So, we hopped out of the car and started walking.

Nope. 10 steps in, I stopped in my tracks.

Damn you, Korean food! Why're you so delicious?!

She turned, with a confused look on her face.

I didn’t know what to say or do.

“You go ahead. I need to fart.”

Yep. That was all I could think of.

It was one of those moments where you recognize what’s to come and there's nothing left to do but capitulate to the inevitable.

“What?”

Oh shit... Did she not hear me? Or were the words so unexpected that her brain failed to process them?

Then, like an overzealous actor, unwilling to wait for his cue, the Korean food made its encore.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr r r r r r r t...

There was a moment of silence as we stared at one another.

“Okay, I’m good now.”

She didn’t say another word until we got to her apartment.

I’ll never know if she didn’t hear it, felt too awkward to ask about it, or was just totally indifferent to it.

But, she never mentioned it again.

Lyrics: This Song (Federico Aubele)

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 15:42:00 +0000

One of my favorite songs is This Song, by Federico Aubele.

The lyrics are captivating and simultaneously evoke a bit of warmth and longing. I couldn't find them documented anywhere, so I went ahead and did it myself. I feel like they're worth sharing.

If you haven't heard it, here's the song on YouTube.

-----

This Song, by Federico Aubele

I open my eyes and walk in my dream
Through empty streets that once belonged to you and me
Looking for your face in the fallen leaves
Like a blind man picturing the sea

So I wrote a song, this song, to get me through the night
It keeps me warm now that I'm alone
So I wrote a song, this song, to get me through the night
It's written on the pieces of my memories of you

Saw an old man with my face walking down
This lonely road that stretches out for miles
He said I'm drowning in the sands
Of the times when I had a home in your green eyes

So I wrote a song, this song, to get me through the night
It keeps me warm now that I'm alone
So I wrote a song, this song, to get me through the night
Written on the pieces of my memories of you

My lonely summer

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 13:18:00 +0000

Summer in Seattle is the kind of thing that convinces you to move to the city.

Warm temperatures, mild humidity, and long days where you marvel at pink and orange sunsets, 9:30 at night.

It was 2014 and I was just starting to think about romantic relationships, several months after having finally left a very painful, very broken relationship that lasted 7 years.

I’d always struggled with the idea of relationships. In fact, that’s probably why I ended up in such a bad one and probably why I stayed in it for so long.

The idea of asking someone out terrified me. What if they said no? Or, worse, what if they said yes?

So, that summer, I sat in my apartment, dreaming about how I’d work up the courage to ask people out. I sat in the apartment that I’d found and chosen on my own. The apartment I’d furnished and decorated on my own. I sat in that empty apartment, alone, and dreamed.

The Bliss of Uncertainty

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Sat, 06 Feb 2021 18:42:00 +0000

It’s funny, how we attempt to escape loneliness, only to find ourself deeper into it.

When I was 11, my family moved to California. We moved right in the middle of 5th grade and while the kids in my new class were mostly kind, I was shy and they already had established relationships. So, by the time summer came around, I was on my own.

Without friends, summer was pretty much nothing but chores. So, you can imagine my excitement when it was time to head back to school in the fall.

I fantasized about the friends I’d make. I dreamed about how I’d be popular and loved.

The problem with fantasies, of course, is that they focus on an end state. They miss everything it takes to reach that end state.

And, as rationality would predict, there was no roaring crowd of admirers waiting for me in my new class.

What was a shy kid with a deep craving for kinship to do?

Make ‘em laugh!

I was pretty quiet at first, but slowly began testing the waters. I’d work up the courage to make a smart-ass remark in class and, to my delight, I was rewarded with laughter.

In time, I started integrating physicality. I’d fall out of my chair, dumbfounded as to how it happened. Then, I’d turn red at the giggles it produced, all while secretly reveling in the attention.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t making friends. For some reason, my antics didn’t result in people asking me to hang out with them.

And, so it went. For weeks. Then months. And then, a year.

Then, one day, something changed.

The sun-baked asphalt of the school grounds was hot, so our gym teacher shuffled us into the school’s large gymnasium to play indoor soccer.

Inside, we filed into the bleachers overlooking the gymnasium floor. About 10 of us at a time rotated in and out of play under the direction of the teacher, who sat on the stage across from us.

When it was my turn to play, I trotted out into the middle of the gymnasium floor.

Within seconds, someone in the bleachers started chanting.

“Hakon sucks. Hakon sucks.”

Slowly, but surely, others began joining in. The voices swelled.

“Hakon sucks, Hakon sucks, Hakon sucks…”

In no time, every single one of my classmates, the people who’s affection I so desperately wanted, joined in until any lingering delusions I might have about the possibility of being liked were stripped away.

I stood there, absorbing it all, completely and utterly ashamed of myself and everything about me.

And, even though it hurt, I never reacted. I never even looked up.

I held my feelings inside for the rest of the day, not capable of handling any more emotion and not having anyone I felt safe talking with, anyways.

That night, in a little 3x3 shower, where tears are indistinguishable from running water, I let truth sink in. I felt my aloneness and I felt the disgust with which people saw me. I felt the craving to be liked and the recognition that I never would be. There, slumped into the corner, I felt the shame of being refuse nobody wanted and cried.

The perfect plan, or, how to make friends in 5th grade

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Mon, 18 Jan 2021 22:40:00 +0000

It was 1994.

My family had just moved to California and I was joining my 5th grade classroom halfway through the school year.

So, there I was, timidly trying to fit into the class of about 25 other kids who'd known each other for at least half a year.

But, it was an uphill battle.

I was scrawny. I was shy. I wasn't particularly good looking and I didn't have any sweet skills.

But you know what I did have?

A plan.

A plan that would make me cool. And that would make everyone want to be my friend.

The plan was simple.

I was going to bring football cards to school.

Never mind that I'd never held a football in my life, let alone watched an episode on TV.

That didn't matter.

Football's cool, and so are sports cards.

All I had to do was get the other kids see me with the cards and I'd be minting friends.

So, the day came.

There I stood, waiting in the long, long lunch line, beside my classmates. We hugged the shade as the California sun warmed the sidewalk beneath us.

Slowly, nonchalantly, I pulled the football cards out of my pocket and began casually shuffling through them.

I'll never forget the words I heard next.

"Hey, you got those from underwears, right?"

Wait... what?

How did he know?!

It must've been the "Fruit of the Loom" prominently stamped on the front of each card.

My thoughts raced.

Was this a moment of solidarity? Did his parents buy him the same underwear, complete with bonus football cards?

Was this a moment of embarrassment? I mean... underwear!

"Yeah."

And just as casually as they came out, the cards found their way back into my pocket. Out of sight, and out of mind, alongside the garments they came packaged with.

The inheritance of closed-mindedness

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Sat, 24 Oct 2020 18:30:00 +0000

"Is this closed-mindedness something we want to pass along to future generations?"

- Martin Scorsese, 1993

This provocative question was posed by Martin Scorsese as part of a response to a criticism of famed filmmaker Federico Fellini.

What struck me about it is it's timelessness.

Has there ever been a time in history when it wasn't relevant?

I think the timelessness of this questions speaks to human nature.

Just as the challenge to understand one another is intrinsic, the need to strive for that understanding is equally so.

You reap what you sow: Lottery and lightening

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Sun, 06 Sep 2020 21:53:00 +0000

"You reap what you sow"

My mom loves quotes. Growing up, I heard this one a lot.

It always came after someone's downfall, as if they should've known better. As if the universe is governed by this simple phrase and life can be mastered by living within its bounds.

But, then, why doesn't life ever seem to go the way it's supposed to?

Consequences, good and bad

We all learn that talking behind someone's back leads to conflict.

We all learn that practicing leads to better performance.

In other words, the actions we take today produce the consequences we experience tomorrow.

But, I still didn't pass the job interview I spent hours and hours preparing for. The one I have over 10 years of highly relevant experience for.

And while I was failing my interview, the guy who was out partying when I was studying, the guy who was spending lavishly while I saved money for retirement.. that guy just made a million dollars trading options in the stock market.

Why isn't the universe operating like it's supposed to?

Why am I such a loser that even the universe bends its rules to show me how worthless I am?

There's fundamental truth in the statement that our actions have consequences. It's easy to understand. It's easy to observe.

It gives us an easy way to make sense of the things we experience.

And it makes it easy to overlook a harmful consequence of internalizing this framework.

If we see everything as a result of our actions, it becomes reeeally easy to blame ourselves for anything and everything that happens to us.

That interview I didn't pass? I should have studied hard. Oh, I did study hard? Well.. I don't know. I guess I'm just stupid.

If we see everything as a result of our actions, it's easy to miss the fuller picture and all the variables at play. It's easy to overlook and under-appreciate how much is outside our control.

Want to win the lottery?

Have you ever dreamed of winning the lottery?

Sure you have.. a song like Billionaire doesn't go 4-times platinum without a lot of people resonating with it's hook, "I wanna be a billionaire, so fucking bad".

Either way, the universe doesn't care.

We both know no one wins the lottery through sheer force of desire, no matter how much they want it.

The trick to wining the lottery's simple: Buy a ticket

The single pre-requisite for winning the lottery is buying a lottery ticket.

Here's a fun fact Your chance of winning the lottery is 1 in 14 million.

The trick to getting struck by lightening's simple: Stand outside in a thunderstorm

Here's another fun fact: Your chance of being struck by lightening in any given year is 1 in 500 thousand.

Wining the lottery's a pretty positive consequence of buying a lottery ticket.

Getting struck by lightening's a pretty horrible consequence of standing outside during a thunderstorm.

In both situations, we have some control over the thing we do or don't want to happen. But, we have very little control over it.

Sometimes, shit happens

The point of all this is that sometimes, shitty things happen to us. A lot of shitty things've happened to me, and I'm sure a lot of shitty things've happened to you.

I've also been fortunate enough to have had a lot of good things happen to me too.

These days, I'm less inclined towards attributing everything that happens in my life to my actions. I'm more inclined towards doing what I can to make good things happen, and recognizing how much outside my control contributes to all things that happen.

Takeaway: It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility

It's unhealthy to blame to ourselves (or to accept blame from others!) when things outside our control lead bad things happening.

It's healthy to accept responsibility for acting on things within our control to make good things happen.

Easy to say, difficult to internalize.

But, I'm optimistic that it can happen with practice, and practicing is something within my control. ;)

Genevieve, thank you for reading a draft of this and discussing the topic with me in so much depth!

Dynamically loading modules in Python 3

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Fri, 14 Aug 2020 13:15:00 +0000

Being able to programatically load python files as modules is a pretty cool capability of Python.

I'll jump to the punch, then step back to fill in context.

First, here's the file that dynamically loads peer python files as modules:

# File: dynamically_loaded_modules/__init__.py

import glob
import importlib.util
import sys

from os import path


def _get_module_name_from_file_path(file_path, module_name_prefix=''):
    if not file_path.endswith('.py'):
        raise ValueError(f"File doesn't have a '.py' extension: {file_path}")

    file_name = path.basename(file_path)
    file_name_without_ext = file_name[:-3]

    if module_name_prefix and not module_name_prefix.endswith('.'):
      module_name_prefix += '.'
    return module_name_prefix + file_name_without_ext


def load_modules(registry):
    path_string = path.join(path.dirname(__file__), '*.py')
    module_paths = [
        file_name for file_name in glob.glob(path_string)
        if not file_name.endswith('__init__.py')
    ]

    for module_path in module_paths:
        module_name = _get_module_name_from_file_path(module_path)

        if module_name not in sys.modules:
            module_spec = importlib.util.spec_from_file_location(module_name, module_path)
            sys.modules[module_name] = importlib.util.module_from_spec(module_spec)
            module_spec.loader.exec_module(sys.modules[module_name])

        module = sys.modules[module_name]
        if not hasattr(module, 'load_module') or not callable(module.load_module):
            raise Exception(f'Auto-load module {module} is missing required function "load_module"')

        module.load_module(registry)

Next, here's an example of a peer python file that gets dynamically loaded as a module:

# File: dynamically_loaded_modules/example.py

def load_module(registry):
    registry.register(f'{__file__} was dynamically loaded!')

Finally, here's example usage:

#!/usr/bin/env python

# File: app.py

from dynamically_loaded_modules import load_modules


class Registry:
    def __init__(self):
        self._registrations = []

    def register(self, description):
        self._registrations.append(description)

    @property
    def registrations(self):
        return self._registrations


registry = Registry()
load_modules(registry)
print(registry.registrations)

The use case I had for this was dynamically registering API routes for a flask app.

This solution offers the conenvince of registering new API routes via Flask's route. That's achieved by (1) passing the Flask app to load_modules and (2) calling flask_app.route in each dynamically loaded file's load_module function.

Actually, I take back what I said earlier. I'm not going to fill in too much context right now. Otherwise, I'd never publish this. :)

Instead, I'll try to come back later and update this post to break down the code more.

How to Run an Old Version of macOS After Upgrading to Catalina

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Fri, 07 Feb 2020 02:45:00 +0000

I have a MacBook Pro, which I'm usually happy with.

However, I recently wanted to play a game that's only available on Windows. So, I went about figuring out how to run Windows software on a Mac.

After some initial investigation, I had the following options:

Run Windows in a virtual machine using software like VirtualBox or Parallels
Install and run Windows on my laptop using Apple's Boot Camp
Use a virtual Windows desktop using a product like Amazon WorkSpaces
Use a compatibility layer to run the Windows application on my laptop without a Windows install using Wine or Crossover

I decided to dig deeper into using Wine because I didn't want to buy a Windows license or make recurring payments to Amazon.

Unfortunately, macOS Catalina (which is what I have) doesn't support 32-bit applications and the game I wanted to play requires 32-bit support. So, to run the game using Wine, I'd need to use an older version of macOS.

I wasn't willing to downgrade my OS for this, so I started looking into how to run multiple version of macOS on my laptop. Here's what I found:

Overview

To run a different version of macOS on the same laptop, we'll:

Create a disk partition to hold a "bootable installer"
Create a bootable installer for the older macOS version on that partition
Create a disk volume to install the OS on
Install the OS on that volume

WARNING: Creating, modifying, and erasing partitions can have serious consequences. You're at your own risk if you decide to attempt this.

Step 1: Create a disk partition

To create a bootable installer, we need somewhere to put it. A good option is a thumb drive. I didn't have one on hand, so I created a disk partition on my mac.

Basically, I followed Apple's instructions the instructions for creating a physical disk partition. The following are important:

About 8GB of capacity is needed
The partition must be formatted as "Mac OS Extended"

Here's how I set up my partition:

Open Disk Utility and select "Show All Devices".
Select the physical hard drive in the left panel and click the "Partition" button on the top.
Select an existing partition in the pie chart, from which the new partition will be created (the existing partition will "donate" disk space for the new partition). Then, click the "+" button.
Give your partition a name (the name is arbitrary - just use something you'll remember), select "Mac OS Extended (Journaled)" as the format, and set the size to 10 GB.
Click "Apply" and be patient while the new partition is created.

Step 2: Create a bootable installer

For this step, I followed Apple's instructions for creating a bootable installer.

For me, this involved:

Download macOS Mojave.
Quit the installer (it started automatically after download, but we need to run it from the command line).
Open a Terminal window.
Run createinstallmedia on the new disk partition created in step 1:
sudo /Applications/Install\ macOS\ Mojave.app/Contents/Resources/createinstallmedia --volume /Volumes/Bootable\ Install\ Partition.
Note that your paths might differ. The second one depends on what you named your partition.
Follow the prompts. Note that after this completes, the partition is renamed to something like "Install macOS Mojave".

Step 3: Create a new volume

We need to create a new volume on which to install the OS.

Open Disk Utility again.
Select the volume where macOS Catalina is installed. For me, this is "Macintosh HD".
Click the "+" above "Volume" at the top.
Enter a name for the new volume (I used "Mac OS Mojave"), leave the format as APFS, and click "Add".
Wait while your new volume is created.

Step 4: Install the OS

Now, we just use the bootable installer from step 2 to install the OS on the new volume from step 3.

Restart the laptop while holding down the option key. For additional guidance, see the "Use Startup Manager" section of Apple's guide for selecting a different startup disk.
Once the laptop restarts, select disk with the bootable installer. For me, it was the one named "Install macOS Mojave".
Begin installation by selecting Install macOS.
Go through the install process. When prompted to select a partition to install the OS on, select the one created in step 3.

Wrap-up

That's it! After installation, your computer should startup in the OS you installed.

If you want to get back to your main OS installation, just follow the same procedure for using the startup manager (restart while holding the option key) and select it (for me, it's called "Macintosh HD").

So, after all this, I was able to run my Windows game on my Mac laptop by booting into the macOS Mojave install and using Wine.

All this so I could play a stupid game.. 😂🤦

I hope this helps with whatever you need it for!

Traveling in Thailand, Day 2: First sights of the City

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 06:04:00 +0000

After a long day of travel, I slept a bit and woke up mid-morning. I didn’t have plans for my first day in Bangkok and since it was still Sunday in Seattle, I had plenty of time before needing to work. I decided to go visit the Grand Palace.

The palace grounds were stunning. The temples there are incredibly intricate and ornate, with metal, glass, and ceramic tiles.

My favorite aspect of the Grand Palace was the inner facade of the exterior wall. The entire thing's a mural. As you walk along it, you can feel an animated story unfolding. My curiosity led me to later learn this art captures the Ramakien, which is Thailand's national epic. I was surprised to learn that much of Thailand’s mythology was derived from Hindu mythology. When I get home, I'll be ordering an English translation.

After a couple hours of being captivated by these new sights, I wondered away from the palace and found myself in a market dedicated to trading in Buddhist charms. As I explored, I noticed a number of people intensely inspecting charms under high-powered magnifying glasses. It turns out there's a whole economy around Buddhist charms in Thailand. It's like a collectible economy where certain charms are believed to bring good luck. Some are rare because of they're one-off creations intended as gifts at royal ceremonies.

After walking around in the heat all day, I took a nap and woke up in the evening. I headed straight out to the premier Muay Thai stadium in Thailand, Rajadamnern Stadium. It was a thrill to watch such skilled athletes and I'd highly recommend it. It's also worth spending some time learning about Muay Thai in advance, because you'll get a lot more out of it.

Before heading home, I ended up making a final stop at a well-known Phad Thai restaurant called Phad Thai Thipsamai. I had the good fortune of choosing an Airbnb directly across the street. I don't actually like Phad Thai much because in the US, it tends to taste like noodles in ketchup. However, when I tried both their “modern” and “traditional” Phad Thai, I was surprised to find that I enjoyed the traditional one quite a bit. It seemed a bit less sweet, a bit more savory, and overall lighter on the sauce.

And, with the sun having risen in Seattle, I began my workday at 11:30pm in Bangkok.

Traveling in Thailand, Day 1: Flying to Thailand

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 01:32:00 +0000

Today was a long day, but weeks of preparation definitely paid off.

I headed to the airport at 10:30am (thanks Maia!) and was feeling nervous on the way.

Did I forget something?

Will the car get a flat tire? Will I miss my flight?

What if I get confused or lost in the Beijing airport? What about in Bangkok?

Regardless of my slight anxieties, I got to the SEATAC airport in Seattle without issue and embarked on the longest day of travel I've ever had. About 10.5 hours to Beijing, 3.5 hours layover, then 6.5 hours to Bangkok.

Beijing was surprisingly smooth and easy to navigate. When I got off the plane, I just followed signs (that included English) for international transfers. They did a quick security check, which included the most thorough pat-down of my life (like, awkward-to-make-eye-contact-after level thoroughness), and I was on my way to the next gate. Luggage was transferred automatically, so I didn't have to pick up my checked bag, though I'm not sure that applies to all cases.

There isn't really much to do in the area of the airport where my flight to Bangkok was, so I just sat and waited. Since I use Google Fi, I was able to use my phone automatically - no local SIM card necessary. So, I checked in with friends and family.

After landing in Bangkok (BKK), I headed directly to immigration, per recommendations I'd read online. Contrary to what I'd read, there was virtually no line, but that might be because I arrived a bit after midnight. Without a single word exchanged, the immigration officer took my passport and papers, gave me my visa stamp, and I was on my way in about 3 minutes.

The luggage pick-up area is right behind immigration, Because I'd gotten through immigration so quickly, I had to wait a bit for my bag. More nervousness, of course, about whether it successfully made the plane transfer. But, it had.

Customs was a breeze because I brought so little with me and had nothing to declare.

I'd read a decent amount in advance about currency exchange. Here's what I found in-person. There're a ton of currency exchange kiosks in the baggage claim area, including teller desks and ATMs. There're also a ton outside and they're all the same company, so it doesn't really matter where you exchange money. My ATM card happens to reimburse any ATM fees, so I went ahead and used the ATM to get cash so I'd get a better exchange rate. I'd read recommendations to make sure to have smaller bills for taxis, so I tried to request an odd withdrawal amount (4900 THB instead of 5000), but it didn't go through. After switching to just requesting 5000 THB, it worked fine. For the smaller bills, I just asked asked at the exchange desk, and they were happy to change a larger bill for smaller ones.

After customs and exchanging currency, I headed down one floor and outside to the taxi area (there're plenty of signs, again all with English). There, I learned that you have to go to a line in front of taxi kiosks. You push a button on the machine and get a ticket that tells you which taxi stall to go to.

Now, taking taxis is something I'm really glad I read up on before arriving. My taxi driver tried every trick I'd read about.

Before getting in the car, I asked if the meter works. He confirmed this was the case. He turned it on when I got in the care, but seconds later, I noticed he'd turned it off. I asked about that immediately and he said he'd do a fixed price of 500 THB to my destination in the city. Although a flat price sounded appealing, I declined, feeling that the meter would be more fair, even if I had to pay more. So, he turned the meter back on at that point.

He indicated in a mix a Thai and a few words in English (I don't speak Thai, aside from a few words picked up from studying in the last couple weeks) he wasn't certain how to get to the destination. I don't think this was a deliberate effort to charge more (e.g. by taking a longer route), but I went ahead and pulled up a map on Google maps to provide a route. This might have made things easier for both of us.

At toll booths along the way, which passengers pay, he wanted me to use my smaller bills. I was reluctant as I was sure he'd later say he doesn't have change, so I said I prefer to use the larger ones. This gave me additional change for paying a more exact price.

Once we got to my Airbnb, the total came to 265 THB, a far cry from the original 500 THB he wanted to charge. As a courtesy, I rounded up to 300 THB, which seemed more than typical as I'd read in numerous places it's common practice to round up to the nearest 10. At that point, he said there's a 50 THB service charge for using the meter. I didn't buy that, but I went ahead with it and added 20 THB (which I had from the change given at the toll booths).

So, I arrived at the Airbnb, checked in, and.. time for some sleep! I don't sleep well on planes, so I was pretty exhausted.

I hope this helps anyone else feeling anxious about getting to Thailand! It's kind of what I would have liked to have read prior to my trip, but obviously things worked out well for me.

Good luck in your travels!

You are NOT a burden

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Sat, 01 Oct 2016 09:14:00 +0000

"I just don't want to be a burden."

How often have you told yourself that and hidden your feelings, fears, and pain from loved ones?

Earlier this week, I was talking with a friend who's been through a lot the past couple years. As we discussed coping with life's challenges by relying on loved ones, she said, "I just don't want to be a burden."

Relying on loved ones can be scary.

For so many of us, something in our past frightened us into thinking that sharing our pain with others puts an unconscionable weight on their shoulders. We fear becoming an inconvenience. We fear they'll get tired of us and reject us.

And that's true. They would reject us... if we really were the people we perceive ourselves to be.

But we're not. Mirrors are ugly. We see too many blemishes and scars to love ourselves and the beauty of the person we really are; the one we've hidden from the world.

We all have our ups and downs. Sometimes the crushing weight of the world drives us into despair and sometimes we find ourselves soaring above it.

When we love someone, we don't just experience their sorrow. We also experience their joy. And we experience their peace and their chaos and their awe and their anger and so much more. That's what makes us all human and we fall in love with humans, not robots.

Not only did I see this in the mentioned conversation, but over the past two weeks, I saw it in two other conversations with different friends. I see it in myself, over and over again.

For as long as I can remember, I buried my negative emotions where no one could see them. I suppressed my feelings in fear of burdening loved ones. I was scared that if they knew me, they wouldn't like me; that I'd be nothing but a weight on their shoulders.

I felt I wasn't worthy of being loved. So I hid behind perpetual "happiness".

The great irony is that what brought me authentic happiness was being there for the people I love in both joyous moments and painful ones. It's a gift to share in another's woes as much as it's a gift to share their abundance.

I'm not a burden to those I love any more than they're a burden to me.

You are NOT a burden.

To my family and my friends, I love you and you're the joy of my life. Let me be there for you just as you want to be there for me. Consider it a gift to me. It's what I yearn for more than anything in this world.

Let your sorrow carve a valley into my soul,
That I may fill it with the joy of love.

❤

Fuck it, hit publish now

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Sun, 13 Mar 2016 00:58:00 +0000

One of the privileges my work and community involvement offer me is interaction with a large number of interesting people. About once a month, someone I meet will tell me they read something from this blog and that it had a meaningful impact on them.

In fact, this happened about 2 hours ago at a hackathon we're hosting at my workplace. One of the participants introduced himself and said he appreciated my post about how I royally screwed up in school. He shared how he went through a similar challenge, failing several classes and thinking he should just drop out, before finding his passion and turning things around. Like me, he ended up at one of the world's top software companies.

That conversation meant a lot to me.

Despite these kinds of experiences, I haven't posted in over 9 months. Still, I jot down notes all the time and have over 25 pending posts that are half-written. So, why haven't I posted?

The reasons mentioned in my first blog post, titled "Why Blog?" and published Nov 2011, are still relevant. Shared experiences are valuable. In fact, I've learned that there's even more value in creating content than I originally saw. Sharing experiences publicly has given me amazing opportunities to connect with and learn from others.

I think my biggest issue has been with agonizing over perfection. I spend hours writing, re-writing, regretting, revising every post. In that original post I said, "anyone can take 15 minutes while waiting for the bus to jot down a few thoughts." What I didn't realize at the time was that I'd never feel satisfied enough to publish after 15 minutes. Or 30 minutes. Or 120 mintues.

I crave more experiences like the one I described at the beginning of this post. Opportunities to form deep connections with others means the world to me.

I'm going to give two things a shot for a while. First, I'm going to relax my standards to a point where I'm less comfortable publishing, but still willing to hit the publish button. Second, I'm going to write on a regular basis, starting with 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Over time, I'm hope to see a rise in quality and a fall in time spent per published post post.

Well, it's been about 1.5 hours since I started working on this. Fuck it. I'm hitting publish now...

[Edit: 2 minutes after hitting publish, I saw that I'd forgotten to give the post a title. *sigh* Well... that gives me a good idea for a title.]

Podcast Discussion on Value-Add at VC Firms

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Mon, 04 May 2015 23:29:00 +0000

I just had a great conversation with Mike Schneider, where we spent some time discussing how we support portfolio companies after investment at Madrona.

Listen in on the conversation: The Law of Startups, Episode 10

For some additional thinking on the topic, one of OpenView's founders recently did a great post on their take on this topic.

Thanks Joe Wallin for setting up the conversation!

The Capacity to Love

noreply@blogger.com (Hakon) — Fri, 27 Feb 2015 21:57:00 +0000

Today is a sad day for nerds, geeks, and science fiction fans around the world. Today Leonard Nimoy passed away.

For me, personally, it's a day of revelation, inspired by this heartfelt, parting message from William Shatner to his dear friend:

"I loved him like a brother. We will all miss his humor, his talent, and his capacity to love."

I don't put much thought into legacy or how people will remember me after death, but if I'm remembered at all, even ephemerally, I want it to be for my "capacity to love." The message strikes a chord deep within my bones. One that reverberates with my sense of humanity. It's how I intend to define my living years and if I earn the right for it to be the culmination of my short time here, this will have been a life worth living.

Thank you Leonard Nimoy, for inspiring us. The love you showed the world carries on.

February 27th, 2015