It's OK to be WEIRD!

Vacation from God

2008-07-08T20:02:00Z

Some of you know that our family had kind of a crazy spring. We were unexpectedly resigning as pastor of our church while also preparing to go on an already planned sabbatical time. We sold our house and stored 98% of our stuff and 'moved' temporarily down to New Mexico to be with family for the summer.

It's been a whirlwind at times, and it's been a bit busier summer than I had originally hoped. I really wanted to get more reading done, more sewing done, more of NOTHING done.

I had also hoped to use more of the time to draw near to the Lord and dive into His word to refresh my spirit. That just hasn't happened.

Some of that is my own doing, not making the time to do that as much as I would like. But some of me has really felt like just having a vacation from the whole church thing. So things get lumped together then - bible study, prayer, fellowship with believers, etc. - and I don't find any energy or want within me to do much of those things.

I do not feel like I've taken a vacation from God at all, though I've found it hard to know what to say to Him in the last few months. I still sense that He is very close to me, and His presence is strong in my life. Things have looked much less formal in terms of my quiet times and my prayers, but they are still kind of there. I haven't felt 'dogged' in my Spirit, like I simply MUST do things THIS way or it's not RIGHT and I'm not giving the appropriate attention to the Lord.

The fact is that I do really feel a little more aware of what He has done and is doing in my life. I feel more aware of His constant presence, His guiding (especially as we begin to look for the church we are called to serve in next), His power and control.

I was afraid that, because of the hurts we experienced at the hands of friends and church members, that I would be angry with the Lord and need to take a step back from Him to gain some perspective about all of this. I really thought, based on my past experiences, that I'd withdraw from my faith and have lots of questions about "What the heck are we doing here?". I thought I would need a vacation from God, to sort things out for myself, work through my hurts, and make sense of it all.

The hurts are still being worked through. There is no blame laid, honestly. Things happened that were hard, are hard, but forgiveness is in my heart. I love my friends that I have left behind, even if I don't agree with the way things were handled. There is no bitterness.

You can't get to that place without the Lord's hand.

And I didn't actively pull away from the Lord like I sometimes stubbornly have done in the past. Neither did I actively seek Him and bombard Him with questions over and over again, waiting (impatiently) for His answer to fix things for me. I just walked through things as they came - emotions, realizations, new circumstances, unexpected consequences - and found Him with me all along the way.

I thought I might need a vacation from God, but have found that I needed a vacation from my expectations about how I am SUPPOSED to interact with God.

I am looking forward to having some 'alone' time with the Lord sometime before we head back up to Canada. It might be tricky to make that happen, but I'm sure we can find the time and do what needs to be done so it can happen. For now it is quite nice to just feel His presence, and know He is near, and He is in control. That's pretty restful for my spirit in a lot of ways, and, if I just remain mindful of it, that's not a bad way to spend a vacation!

Rustic Living?

2008-07-07T16:26:00Z

We're back down in Texas, visiting our friends and babysitting their ranch while they go away for a little vacation. They live 30 minutes away from even a small town, out in the country.

Farmers and ranchers often live WAY out of town, away from most amenities found in the city. I know that even though I have farmer and rancher family and friends, I usually think of it as a rugged way of life. The picture I have in my head is one of a rough and tough lifestyle.

Well... maybe at one time that was true, and it may still be true in some places, but not here!

Our friends built a dream home here on the ranch, complete with a sound system piped into all the rooms of the house and the porch, remote opening gates, all high efficiency electric appliances, satellite TV, and wireless internet throughout the house. We get to run around the ranch on a super duper 4-wheel ATV called a Ranger, or we can hop in the 6-wheeler ATV.

The only thing that doesn't work right here at the house are our cell phones, but they work fine up at the highway.

It's quite nice being out here. We went into town today and got some groceries, and should have enough for the whole week. Even though there is a good bit of work to be done with the feeding and keeping up with all the animals, it is very peaceful, and we have everything we need.

There's not much rough and tough about this little trip for us, except maybe the chiggers!

In the evenings our favorite activity is sitting on the back porch watching the animals in the back pasture. There are lots of porch chairs, like a rocking love seat. We sit out there and turn the light on out in the pasture at the feeding troughs and we can see the gemsbok, axis, fallow and black buck come up and eat. NICE!

I'll try to post some pictures later... kind of follow up shots to the ones I posted about our first adventure here on the ranch. (as soon as I can figure out how to do that easily on our new Macbook, upon which my visual editor doesn't seem to be working!!!).

Yup, it's a rough life! ;-)

Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-01T16:01:00Z

July 1st is Canada Day!!!

Happy Canada Day everyone! We're celebrating with a water fight at the park and then having a dessert that looks like a Canada flag. Hope you all have a great day, too!!

Getting Older : What do you notice first?

2008-06-30T17:25:00Z

I'm learning from many of my friends, both in the 'real' world and out in the blogosphere, that as you get older, things change! I am also finding this out first hand.

A few years ago I heard a saying: "Your body will take care of you until you are 30 years old, then after that you have to take care of your body."

My sweetie and I are both over 30 now, and it is interesting that nearly as soon as we turned 30 things started falling apart.

What was the first thing you noticed that made you realize you were getting older?

My sweetie has always been able to eat whatever he wanted and do as little or s much activity as he liked and still stay thin. Now, without his Tae Kwon Do classes 2 or 3 times a week, he's finding a little less room in the waist of his pants.

For me, too, weight has been one of the most noticeable things. After babies, my body will certainly never be the same. I've mentioned before that I've been working on taking better care of myself so that I don't keep gaining weight. I've not been doing the best job. It's hard with travelling and stress and all of that. (I know, there are always excuses...) I know that I'm going to have to stay active and do all I can to keep my metabolism going strong. I like to eat good food, so I'm going to have to be active to counteract that.

We've also noticed more difficulties with digestion and aches and pains. I don't sleep nearly as well as I used to. There are also a few more grey hairs on my head.

There are other things. Like the fact that most newscasters and actors and actresses are the same age as we are, when they all used to be older than us. The first car I drove is now a really old car, nearly a classic!

What have you noticed, funny or not, as you find yourself aging?

Dream of Freedom (review, kind of)

2008-06-27T13:13:00Z

A while back I won a couple of books from one of the Facebook groups I am a part of. It was totally a fluke thing, 'cuz I almost never actually visit the group, and had never participated in their trivia giveaways (and haven't since). But I did answer one question and as a result I WON! Pretty cool!

Anyway, I won books 1 & 2 of the American Dreams series by Michael Phillips, Dream of Freedom & Dream of Life. Of course, it's a 3 book set (which I didn't know when I started reading the first one), so I've bought the third one, Dream of Love. I have finished Dream of Freedom and it's pretty good, so it's worth finishing the story.

From Amazon's product description of Dream of Freedom:

Best-selling author Michael Phillips gives readers a glimpse into the past in this epic historical novel. One man and his family make the decision to follow God's will for their lives and free their slaves. The controversy over his decision sets off sparks as the lines are being drawn between North and South over slavery.

Even in the novels I read I find nuggets of truth and wisdom. I think that's especially true with Christian Fiction. And I guess I have picked some good authors who are really good at touching deeper issues of faith.

While reading Dream of Freedom, other than having my insides tied in knots a few times because of choices various characters made, I picked up a few strong sentiments worth reflecting on:

When in doubt, don't do it - or at least WAIT.
Be honest at all times, at all costs.

Be respectful but don't be afraid to speak up, especially about issues that are important to you.
Don't say something you don't want repeated.
Misleading people, or encouraging them to believe something that is untrue, is the same as lying.
The Lord will make His will known if you ask Him and the listen and wait for Him to show you.
The best relationships (and marriages) begin with friendships and clear communication.
Patterns of non-communication or miscommunication can form quickly if you aren't careful to head it off.
Girls can be terrible - sly, flirtatious, manipulative, etc. - unless they are taught better.
Power, or striving for power, can make a man crazy and cause him to do things he might later regret.
Raising more than one child in the same home, with the same teaching and values, doesn't guarantee that they will all have the same ideas and understanding, or that they'll believe the same things their parents do.
Freedom is worth whatever is necessary to get it and keep it.
The Lord, even when He seems silent, is seeking us and drawing us near to Him.
It's nice (helpful, even) to have a place to retreat to when you need to hear the Lord (garden, sanctuary, etc.).
Good men do right things because that's the right thing to do, not because it's necessarily good, popular, or good sense.
A mother has tremendous influence, whether for good or bad.
A wise wife is a treasure. A trophy wife can be the cause of much harm.
Extreme opposite opinions about basic ideas of life are not a good foundation for marriage!

I enjoyed Dream of Freedom very much. I didn't want it to end so soon! I have read nothing else by Michael Phillips, but I like his writing style in this book. Because it is historical fiction, footnotes are included with actual history as a support for the storyline - it helps to reinforce the ideas and the principles, even if the story itself is fictional.

As this is indeed a series, the stories are just barely getting started before this first book ends. There is some suspense, both in circumstances and relationships. The whole time the various parts of the story are going on, there is a definite sense of something bigger going on behind the scenes. There are thin ties within the stories that are drawing things together, slowly, and carefully. Based on some of the surprises in the first book, I can hardly imagine how all of it is going to come out in the end!

I just ordered the 3rd book, Dream of Love, today from Amazon. I finished Dream of Freedom right at the end of our last trip to Texas, and I don't think I'll start Dream of Life until I have Dream of Love in my hands, and probably not until our next trip to Texas (beginning July 5).

I think that if I had Dream of Life with me on our trip, I would definitely have started it right away. But since a bit of time has passed, I'll let it sit a little longer.

I am the kind of person who has a hard time stopping stories, songs, movies, etc., in the middle. That's why series are sometimes tricky for me, and I usually don't read them until all the books are out so I can go from one to the next to the next until the story is really finished! Oh well, sometimes I do get started in a series and I just have to be patient.

Our Vows from our Vow Renewal Ceremony

2008-06-25T12:52:00Z

At the end of March this year, my husband and I took a trip to Hawaii to renew our wedding vows for our 10th Wedding Anniversary.

For our wedding, nearly 11 years ago, we wrote one set of vows together that we both said to each other. This time we wanted to write our own vows separately. I looked online for resources, and found a few for vow renewals. Most of them had to do with renewing vows after infidelity, extreme illness, extended absence, separations or serious accidents. Ours wasn't really any of those situations. We just wanted to renew our vows to remind ourselves about what this 'marriage' thing means to us, recommit to each other, and celebrate 10 wonderful years together.

Since we kind of had to come up with our own ideas for the 'new' vows, I know there might be other people out there who would like some kind of example to draw from. Here are our vows for our own vow renewal ceremony on the beach in Hawaii:

Mine (to my sweetie)-

Over 10 years ago, as we stood before the Lord and our families, we committed our love and our lives to one another, together, in holy matrimony. It was the beginning of a beautiful adventure.

Our adventure has not been an easy one, and we have walked together through many hard times. The trials we have faced have drawn us closer and strengthened our love in unimaginable ways. Our shared life has truly been an adventure in the best sense of the word - fun, new things, travels, suspense, surprises, stepping out in faith, and clinging to one another and to the Lord. We have had a healthy share of blessings a long the way as well, too many to mention. I am so glad to have had you buy my side the whole way. You have been and you ARE my rock, my encourager, my lover, my best friend. You have taught me so much and you have love me, even when I felt unlovable.

[Sweetie], today I renew my commitment to you, to love, honor and cherish you, choosing you above all others, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, through the good times that will brighten our ways and the sadness that may darken our days.

Where you go I will go. Where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die and there I will be buried. may the Lord deal with me ever so severely if anything but death should come between you and me. I love you, always and forever.

My Sweetie's (to me) -

[Sweetie], over 10 years ago we stood before God and witnesses and promised to love one another with the love described in the Bible. We knew there would be tests and challenges to this commitment and they have come. In each of these challenges, we have grown closer and stronger in our love. We knew there would also be many celebrations and joys. These too have come and fill most of my memories of these years of our relationship. They have also produced a deeper love between us.

A verse we picked early on in our dating has become a daily offering in my heart, "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you." I am so thankful that God chose someone so beautiful, not only so pleasing to the eye, also pleasing to my soul. I am forever amazed at the depth of Love that we share and how it continues to grow daily. Though I know God's love for us is greater than the love we share, I can imagine no greater love.

[Sweetie], I love you in the most completeness that I can, as described in God's word. As He has made our love grow to this stage today, I know that this love will continue to grow deeper. Thought it is hard to fathom any greater love, I am looking forward to and excited to experience the depths to which our love will grow in the years to come. I affirm my commitment to you and you alone to love and cherish, no matter what may come until death and death alone shall part us.

[Sweetie], I love you, I will love you Forever and I will love you Always.

Patriotism, of sorts

2008-06-23T20:38:00Z

We've just returned from another trip to Texas, and all along the way we noticed American and Texas flags all over the place. Seriously, they were EVERYWHERE! On fences and cars and houses, in windows, on shirts and caps and sunglasses, in the trees, on the sidewalks, in bathrooms, even one on the bottom of a swimming pool! And not just flags, but general American regalia with bows and banners and streamers in red, white and blue. (Texas has it's own story, being very proud of being Texas in general and displaying that pride everywhere in flags and stars and all that stuff.)

My kiddos, being very Canadian, wondered why there were all these 'banners' everywhere. As we're coming to the end of June, obviously we're looking forward to July 4th here in the states. But there is not quite as much hoopla associated with Canada Day (July 1st) in Canada as we see here in the USA with the 4th.

I think it's safe to say that Canadians are patriotic in a totally different way than the USA is (some would say Canadians aren't patriotic at all), so it's appropriate that our celebrations will look different.

We're all invited over to my sweetie's sister's house for July 4th for a BBQ and to watch the local fireworks from their back yard. It's an annual thing she does and it should be lots of fun. She decorates everything with stars and stripes, and most people dress in red, white and blue to commemorate the occasion. It's a festive, "GO AMERICA" kind of day all over the place here.

We, on the other hand, have decided to celebrate July 1st, even while being out of Canada, in a different way - with a great big water fight! We'll invite my sweetie's parents and his sister and her husband to an afternoon of water fun with super soaker water guns, water balloons, kiddie pool games, and whatever other fun water stuff we can come up with. I'll probably also make my signature Canadian Flag "Cake" and wear my Canada t-shirt. It's more of a "it's a great day for a holiday" kind of party.

Both July 1st and July 4th should be fun days. We'll be showing our national colors and patriotism together with family. Which celebration will more closely represent the meaning of each holiday is anybody's guess!