It's T Time!

Game Review - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

2010-10-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

The long running and beloved Castlevania series, stretching all the way back to the original Nintendo, now gives us a new console release with Lords of Shadow. This game is handled by a new team from the ones who handled the last few games, giving us a new timeline, rebooting the story. Does this help or hurt the game? Read on to find out. As usual, I am reviewing the Playstation 3 version of the game. (Warning: Spoilers ahead!)

Story: 5/5 (MAJOR SPOILERS)

This game is probably the darkest of all the Castlevania games, by far. It is more like a dark fairy tale than a Vampire story. Set in 1047 AD, the hero of the game, Gabriel Belmont, is set into lands long forgotten by time, where the Old Gods still hold power, to seek out aid in speaking with the dead. In hopes of speaking with his recently slain love, Gabriel needs to find out why the heavens were blocked off from Earth and how to undo this, so the souls can move on to the afterlife.

As the game goes on, Gabriel must fight the three Lords of Shadow, claim their power, and the pieces of the God mask that they hold. Narration for the game is provided by Patrick Stewart who also voices the character Zobek. Through the game you will read various dropped travel scrolls who help to give information, trivia, and various other tid bits Alot of references to the classic series is in this game, my favorite being when Zobek talks of Gabriel going to fight the Vampiress, Carmilla. He laments how she will shead bloody tears, a references to the popular song of the series, and the fact that Carmilla's mask attacked by dripping bloody tears in the old games.

In the end, the mask if formed, and the final boss reveals himself, not the Lord of the Vampire, but the Lord of all evil, Satan. The final battle is great, and helps to properly set up the sequel, in which Satan is readying to return to Earth thanks to his followers. To stop this, Dracula is sought out by Zobek...and it is revealed that Gabriel himself is Dracula. The hook has caught me, I am ready for the next game. But to fully appreciate this game, you need to play it from start to finish.

Graphics: 5/5

This game is beautiful to see, especially considering it's a cross system game, so they couldn't focus solely on one platform to polish it to the max, but it's still beautiful. From the ancient ruins of a forgotten city, to the Castle of Carmilla, the game is beautiful, even more so in the castle when you see the Gothic architecture of the castle. The characters are well detailed, the magic effects, lighting, everything is extremely well done.

Music: 4/5

I love the score for this game, the music is wonderful, atmospheric, and gives that epic grandness that the game and it's story call for. I mark one point off mainly because I miss some of the classic tunes, and the compositions of Michiru Yamane are missed. However, while I do miss them, they do not make this game's score bad, in fact, it's amazing. I do not think most of the old tracks done in their usual style would have fit this game. Though, for the sequel, I wouldn't mind seeing this game's composer try his hand at the classic tunes and make them fit the style of this new game story.

Gameplay: 5/5

The gameplay is called a God of War clone, and this is true, but let us not forget that Castlevania Lament of Innocence came out BEFORE God of War and had a similar combat system, thus this game in the end simply refines the combat of LoI. The combat is fast, responsive, and well done, with nice finishers and interactive moments that help keep you drawn into the game.

The magical items in the game are present, like the old games, and while there are only four magical weapons, they are still useful. The daggers and holy water return from the old series, with two new items, fairies that distract enemies, and crystals that are similar to the old 'item crash' abilities that kill everything on screen, this time when you crash the crystal, it summons a demon to wipe out everything.

And then there are the boss fights....this game has EPIC boss fights. The Lords of Shadow are great and memorable battles, but that's just small fries compared to the titan battles. If you ever played Shadow of the Colossus, you know where they got the idea for these fights from. They're pretty much the same thing, and that's not a bad thing. The titan battles are just epic and grand as you climb up and attack the giants as they attempt to crush you.

Finally there are the puzzles, and I love the puzzles in this game. Most of them require some trial and error, while others make you have to think a little, they're not frustrating and unbeatable, but they do require a little thought. My favorite being the music box level, as you use different cylinders to to operate different parts of the box as the music box tune plays (which happens to be the classic tune Vampire Killer).

Replayability: 4/5

While there isn't alot of exploration to this game as compared to the 2D Castlevanias that have been released since Symphony of the Night, it does have some areas you can explore when you return with skills you learn later in the game. The ability to replay chapters of the game is also a bonus as well. You can also try to get the trials they have (which means to complete certain conditions like beating a boss without using a magic type).

Overall: 4/5

In the end, this game serves as an excellent start to a new timeline for the series. The story is well told, the characters are well rounded. The music, setting, everything is just well crafted. If you are a fan of the original series, then you will love this reboot. I highly recommend this game, it has the flair an epic fantasy tale and you will love to banish the horrible night with the Vampire Killer.

Mega Man back in Action!

2010-10-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

First of a new thing I'm doing. One shot comics about various things. This is why Mega Man didn't have all his upgrades when he returns in Megaman 9.

Let's Play Metroid Other M - Adowned

2010-09-10T14:52:00.000-07:00

Best part of the game, I tell ya.

Let's Play Red Dead Revolver - Part 2

2010-09-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

Continuing the adventures of Crayola Red!

Movie Review - Beowulf

2010-09-08T23:33:00.000-07:00

Today I went back and pulled out a movie I've not seen in a while, Beowulf. This is a prime example of how to NOT make a movie. It follows a similar formula to that of the video game I have ranted on before in my Let's Play, Dante's Inferno. Both take classic works of literature and decide to dumb them down and use the name to try and sell what is really a lack luster title. Both also take cues from other more famous works to try and make it more marketable to the masses. While Dante's Inferno was a shallow clone of God of War, Beowulf takes alot of ideas and visual cues from Fank Miller's 300. So how does this one fair compared to other movies? Read on...

First off, to get the good out of the way: The soundtrack is awesome, pure and simple. This is due to the fact that the score is composed by Alan Silvestri, who has a solid track record of providing some really energetic and awesome scores for movies. From the opening credits to the storm that Beowulf is sailing through to the final scene, the music really helps to try and elevate this to be more of a movie than it really is.

Second, the CGI work for the movie is REALLY good. The detail and effects are really polished and the characters have a real great amount of realism to them. Sadly they don't seem to be totally there, partly I think due to the voice acting, but the CGI has yet to properly capture the look and feel of a real person on screen. Which is the double edge of this blade, while the CGI is excellent (minus the dead eye look), with characters going for that amount of realism, why bother with CGI and just use real characters? Might've made the movie more enjoyable.

And now that we have those out of the way, for the bad parts of the movie...and let me catch my breath before I dive into this one...

Okay...

There, now I'm ready.

First off, WHAT DID THEY DO TO BEOWULF!?!?! They turned this great warrior, who was an example of man into a joke. He was a lying, cheating, boasting, alcoholic womanizer. They tried to turn him into Captain Kirk, they just failed in capturing the awesome of Kirk. Kirk was an alcoholic womanizer, but he was awesome while doing it, Shatner had alot to do in that I think, but Beowulf comes off as very unlikable.

Also, the dragon that kills him in the epic poem? That's his son. Yeah, what a twist! This is the same moronic crap they pulled in Superman Returns, to make them more related able they give them a kid, not to mention destroy what made Beowulf into the hero he is supposed to be. It's this same BS they use when they make games these days, to make them more able to relate to the player, you usually have younger characters. And you know who people love most? The characters we know next to nothing about, or the older characters who have life experience behind them, not the young brat on a farm who gets swept up into the world's events. Seriously, tell a good story, not try to make a whiny brat of a character that everyone will hate because you want us to relate to him, a good story will give us a good character we can relate to.

But yeah, the crap doesn't stop there, they made Grendel look like a piece of rotted chewed up gum as he runs around whining. He wasn't evil, just misunderstood because he had a giant zit on the side of his head that Hrothgar's cheering in the hall caused him pain, hence he went on a killing spree. Yeah, that whole, "Humans are the real monsters" garbage is old and it's not good story telling, it's overly preachy BS that falls flat in the story. Grendel is EVIL, he is a demon of darkness, to make him into a sympathetic creature who has hearing problems is just annoying. It removes any real weight the character might have had, had he not looked like a rotten potato.

Grendel's mother isn't any better. They made her into Angelina Jolie. BULL. She's called a hag in the story, not, "A hot woman with big boobs that walks around naked." Seriously, they turn her into some sort of copy of the temptation of Adam and Eve, she seduces men with promises of riches and power, but they must give her a child, and guess who is Grendel's father? That's right, Hrothgar! They also turned him into a drunken fool who commits suicide and leaves his kingdom to Beowulf.

Both Hrothgar and Beowulf also have the same queen, they both also cheat on her and largely ignore her. Beowulf also shoved his spear into Grendel's mother, if you get my meaning, and the dragon that killed him in the epic poem is actually his son, in an extremely crappy and poor attempt to string the last part of the poem with the first. At the end the new king after Beowulf's death sees Grendel's mom and you hear the seduction theme and it seems to imply he too will give in, thus the cycle is never ending and thus Beowulf's act is totally pointless.

I really couldn't enjoy this movie, the crappy villains, ruining of the characters, and just poor actions of the characters make the unlikable to any degree. John Malkovich appears as a Dane that's turned Christian and spends most of his time speaking down to people and beating his slave with a stick and adds nothing to the story at all. He suffers without his stone, I suffer because of his bland performance. I hated this version of him more than in Eragon because there is more of him here.

Bad characters, horrible design choices, bad plot points, horrible changes to the story and characters in general, this movie just isn't good. The one positive thing to come out of this is actually an amusing Rifftrax. They always help make a bad movie good, and a good movie great. If you get this movie, get the rifftrax for it too, it'll help to alleviate the sheer amounts of crap they heaped upon this film and used Beowulf's name to try and sell it.

Oh, and they royally ripped off 300, instead of, "THIS IS SPARTA!" you got, "I AM BEOWULF!" He loves to scream his name like a loon, and strip, he likes getting naked. Beowulf, slayer of rotten potatoes, drinker of booze, sexer of womens, and flash of ze miniwulf.

Bleh to this movie.

Let's Play Metroid Other M - Part 1

2010-09-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

Note: This Let's Play was a major pain to get uploaded, even when I split it in half, the first part would not convert to the proper format after many tries, I had to convert it myself, I dunno what is wrong with Blip, but they need to fix that.

Let's Play Red Dead Revolver - Part 1

2010-09-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

Random Update - 8/21

2010-08-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

I have learned the value of the Gun Ninja in Modern Warfare 2. That is all.

Megaman Retrospective Preview

2010-08-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

Game Review - Final Fantasy V

2010-08-06T14:48:00.000-07:00

This review marks a special moment for me. Having beat Final Fantasy V, I have now completed every game of the main series of Final Fantasy (excluding XI due to MMOs having on going stories). So, with this game, how does it measure up in the overall series? Is it good? Bad? Forgettable? Middle of the road? Read on to find out!

Story: 3.5/5

The story for the game isn't bad, nor is it an epic masterpiece. That may sound like it's just bland, but no, it has really good moments, and the story does the purpose to carry your interest from start to finish. Basically four people band together to challenge the dark forces lead by the evil wizard-knight Exdeath. Over the course of the game you learn of the origins of Exdeath and how he was defeated once many years ago by the Warriors of Dawn.

Over the course of the game, you lose alot of characters you meet to Exdeath's lust for power. Eventually he shatters all four elemental crystals, and you travel after him to a new world to try and stop him there. There you see the Empire of Exdeath growing once more, and eventually he shatters that planet's crystals. When you awaken again, you find yourself back on your world, but as you explore it, you find it changed.

In your exploration, you see that once, a thousand years ago, the two worlds were one, and were split to seal away the terrible power known as the Void. Exdeath seeks to control that power, hence he shattered to crystals that caused the world split. In the end, through many battles you face off against Exdeath in the Interdimensional Rift. There he begins to suck many places and people into the Void, then tries to turn the power of the Void onto the four Warriors of Light. Eventually this power turns upon himself and transforms him into Neo Exdeath, a nihilistic monster who wishes to turn all creation to nothingness, then he would do that to himself. In a climatic battle in the Rift they heroes defeat Neo Exdeath and the world is returned to it's former glory, though those who died before the Exdeath unleashed the Void are gone for good.

You watch as Krile (one of the heroes of light) talks about the events since that battle, and as she visits her grandpa's final resting place. The scene is well done, especially as you hear the Final Fantasy theme play as the others come to see her, showing her she's not alone. Over all, the story is solid, especially considering ones like Final Fantasy III (read my review for that). The characters are given some depth, and there is some emotional weight to their presence in the game.

Characters: 3/5

This one is rather short. The characters are detailed, but not too much, just four people (a wanderer, a princess, a pirate, and an amnesiac old man for starters) who all band together to save the world. The characters seem to have a weaker development than the previous game (IV) or the one that follows (VI). I don't know if it's because the job system was the focus or what, but they don't have the same weight that other main characters do. While Bartz is a likable fellow, he pales whem lined up with the guilt ridden Cecil, or the half-human/esper woman Terra. They have much more to their characters than Bartz.

Other than that, the characters do their job and give you enough to know them and care for them, but little beyond that. IV's characters came from all over the world and had so much to their story. While you have that here, it's not touched upon as much, maybe because the world doesn't seem as populated as previous and future games, but don't misunderstand, they do serve the story well.

Graphics: 4/5

This area is reviewed through the lens of nostalgia. I like the graphics, they are a step up from IV's sprite work, yet still not to the level of VI's, it's a good and well done stepping stone. The overworld sprites are still smaller than the battle sprites (something they changed in VI), but they work, and are expressive enough to give you enough visual flair to enjoy. The spells are well animated, the summons and monsters well detailed, it's just a nice game to look at.

Music: 4/5

As always, the music of a Final Fantasy is really well done. While this one might be weaker than others in the series, it still has a lot of solid tunes that are very well done and enjoyable. Battle on the Big Bridge is the star of this game, the theme for Exdeath's top henchman, Gilgamesh. This song has been remixed many times over the series and it rocks. Other such great themes for this game are Exdeath's theme (starts off like Psycho's theme), the boss battle themes, and the final battle theme of course.

Gameplay: 5/5

The gameplay of this game is great. It takes the job class system that was used in III and expanded on it in so many ways. I love the Job Class system, as it makes the game more tactical in how you come at the battles. The battles give you EXP (experience points) for levels, and ABP (ability points) for learning job skills. Each skill you learn from a job you can assign one to another job when you use it, and alot of the passive ones are automatically learned by the Freelance (starting bare form).

The Job Class just gives you so many choices, to be Mages or warriors, to use enemy skills or summons, the choices give you endless hours of fun to replay the game and learn new combinations of skills and abilities. I usually prefer the Job Class system over the one where everyone is pretty much the same (granted you can make everyone the same class, but even then, there are limits).

Replayability: 4/5

There is actually alot you can choose to do to earn new job classes and magic and weapons. The Game Boy Advance version adds even more jobs and such to earn, giving you alot to do. So even if you beat the game on the Advance mode, you can save a clear file and go back to before you enter the final dungeon and go and grab most of what you may have missed towards the end, plus a new secret dungeon to fight some more super bosses.

Overall: 4/5

This is a strong game. The story might be a bit generic, and the characters might not be as deep as others, but they still serve to give you a great game experience. The gameplay is the star here with the Job Class system, it's why you want to play this game. I highly recommend going out and obtaining the Gameboy Advance version, as it adds more jobs, skills, and gear to obtain, new dungeons and bosses, plus it lacks the loading times of the PSOne version (though that version had the pretty FMV cut scenes). This game would be a stepping stone to the best Job Class system in the series, Tactics. Here they refined the Job system so much, you should give it a shot, you'll enjoy it I think.

GI Joe (Animated) Movie Review

2010-08-02T12:48:00.000-07:00

Today's review is about a guilty pleasure of mine. A movie that's so epic in it's badness that it's totally awesome. The original animated GI Joe movie, a movie that is the exact polar opposite to the Transformers animated movie. While the Transformers movie was loved by the fans and became a central part of the series' mythos, the GI Joe movie was shunned like the embarrassing friend you act like you don't know when you're in public with them. Never spoken of again after the movie, this is a oddity in a show that's about the elite special forces of America battling against a terrorist organization (back when terrorists were fun) that wants to rule the world. Read on for the review...and as usual, beware spoilers!

The movie begins with a flashy show of the GI Joe title, then the camera angle lowers down onto Liberty Island, where we see the villainous Cobra invade, attempting to take over the Statue of Liberty. As some snazzy music plays, you are treated to actually some really well done animation. Sadly, this is just the introduction title scene, just to introduce the premise. It's a pity the best part of the movie has nothing to do with the story itself.

So after the great opening, we see the movie start out at Cobra Island, where we see the top brass of Cobra arguing over the repeated losses of Cobra to the Joes. Cobra Commander, seeing a chance to try and gain some cred with the rest, blames Serpentor for their failures, but the others turn on him and it ends up with CC having to defend himself from all the charges Destro and the others make. Serpentor himself has harsh words for Cobra Commander, which leads ol' CC to scream and rant that it's all lies and he's a good loyal member of Cobra.

All the while this is going on, a shadowy cloaked being with snake-like eyes (seriously, you expected anything else for mysterious eyes?) is breaking into the Cobra base, taking out guards and making it's way past the defenses easily, using various organic devices to make it's way deeper into the base. The top brass of course say that they must deal with the intruder, because there is no Cobra without Serpentor (which begs the question, what was Cobra before they made Serpentor? Was it Rattlesnake? perhaps Garden Snake?).

In any event, Cobra Commander sees this as a chance to be a backstabbing little snake (it's a PUN!) as he leads the others to find the intruder and deal with him, when in fact he saw the intruder down a hall, and leads the others in the wrong direction. Starscream would be proud. The intruder makes it's way to Serpentor, which he claims none may challenge (seriously, his way of speaking is far more annoying than Cobra Commander's hissing S slur). But it turns out that the intruder is a strange looking lady come to help Serpentor fulfill his destiny. This leads me to another problem I have with the movie....the new villains, Cobra-La (original name there) are the same as the Star Wars villains called the Yuuzhan Vong, even down to their design, just look:

And the new villains of Cobra-La also have bio-technology, just like the Vong, and it's just as lame. But anyway, moving on. The lady is named Pythona (oooo, how original!) and she's showing Serpentor that they need to steal the BET (Broadcast Energy Transmitter). This switches us over to the next scene in a winter wonderland where we see a large group of armed Joes guarding the BET as they begin tests on it. Somehow the BET's ability to transmit energy allows them activate and control machines at a distance. Not sure how that works, but hey, it's a kid's show. This does however lead us into one good thing about the movie, the action scenes. Cobra launches an attack to capture the BET and the Joes struggle to counter attack.

Taken out of context, the action scenes are alot stronger than in the context to the overall story. During the course of the battle, Serpentor is knocked out and taken prisoner, and Duke uses the BET to activate remotely alot of artillery weapons that were left undamaged on the far side of the battlefield. This causes Cobra Commander to take charge and order a retreat deeper into the mountains for safety. The Joes decide to split their forces, sending some after the Cobra while the rest take the BET and Serpentor into custody.

Deeper in the mountains, Cobra Commander leads them into a place with large missile-like shaped plants, which the Joes lead by Roadblock follow to and attack. It's here we get to see the soldiers of Cobra-La attack with their Xena-inspired "Lalalalalalalalala!" battle cries, which you will hear alot. The Cobra-La soldiers, and their big non-snake named thug-bat man named Nemesis Enforcer make short work of the Joes, taking them captive, then turn on Cobra, which the Commander tries to run away.

After everyone is taken captive, Pythona hires the Dreadnoks to find out the best way to spring Serpentor from the clink. They're easily bought off with a large Rupee that Pythona stole from Hyrule. The scene shifts to the Joe HQ (complete with an American flag flying, so we know the Joes are the good guys). The Joes decide to send a group to find the missing ones lead by Roadblock, the BET will be moved to a high security facility while they continue to guard Serpentor.

Due to being undermanned, the Joes decide to advance the training of a group of rookies called the Rawhides. We're given a bunch of cliche characters, the only two that matter is Falcon and Jinx, the others just have a moment in the montage training scene (which we get to see that they're all insane). After that, we see Falcon, who skipped the training to be on a date, is showing his blonde girlfriend the all the security details of Serpentor....so that max security is all recorded by Zarana, sister to Zartan, the leader of the dreadnoks. So now they have all the info they need to bust Serpentor out.

So next scene we see that Falcon has abandoned his post to hit on Jinx, because he thinks his greasy schmoozing will attract her. During his idiocy the dreadnoks attack with Pythona and Nemesis Enforcer, and we see three MUCH better characters get wounded as Serpentor is freed. The one good thing about this scene is the commander of the Joes, General Hawk, orders Falcon be confined to his quarters until his court martial.

After a that nice scene of battle, we get more Cobra-La madness. Seeing a Cobra-La aircraft...thing....fly to their kingdom, we see the leader of Cobra-La, Golobulus (who is voiced by Burgess Meredith, which is awesome). They roll out the red carpet (which is a box of crabs that make a path you can walk on). They meet, plot and ready to go after the BET again. But before they do that, they have to have the trial of Cobra Commander! DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN!!!

Then we get a scene I would have liked to seen more expansion on, the court martial of Falcon. They pretty much say he's not worth a second chance, but, plot twist, Duke is Falcon's half brother and asks for mercy, so they send him to the 'Slaughter house'. Scene switch back to the crazy peoples land and we see the trial of Cobra Commander, which is actually exposition and backstory. To tell this tragic tale, they use an item call the 'Web of Remembrance'....I call it, "Web of Convenient Exposition without having to think to hard how to explain our backstory". So we see that everything history tells us is wrong, Cobra-La stretched across the planet, they were awesome...blah blah blah, ice age, they reduced....man expanded...and huzzah! We have the time when a young noble who is blue skinned is disfigured by spores, grows extra eyes...and is made Cobra Commander and sent out to take over the world for the glory of Cobra-La.

This whole flash back bothers me because we've seen Cobra Commander's skin and eyes before...and it doesn't match the movie...and ....ugh. It's a major story blunder to be sure. Anyway, he's found guilty, blah blah blah, they expose him to spores which begin to turn him into a large snake. Scene shift again! Falcon is dropped in the middle of nowhere and we get introduced to my favorite character: Sargent Slaughter. Yes, the wrestler is a Joe. He is as macho as they come in the show, and he's funny as can be. Only the evil colonel in Avatar matches his macho manliness.

He introduces his own soldiers, more macho cliches, and they make Falcon run to the Slaughter House while the rest ride off on their vehicles. Because they're manly. Switch back to Cobra-La, Roadblock and the gang escape, only to get recaptured, but Roadblock, who gets blinded by batman, is guided by the semi-snake Cobra Commander, an interesting idea that could have used more scenes as you watched his transformation and the slipping of his mind.

And plant missiles shoot into orbit and will eventually release spores to devolve mankind into mindless animals and really, it's all silly. They need the BET to ripen the spores, so yeah, the MacGuffin is given a reason for WHY they need it. Yadda yadda, Joes need to know what's up with Cobra, so they have Slaughter and Falcon and the background filler sneak into the main Cobra base. They're so manly, they destroy it. But not before they have the most brutal torture scene ever seen in the movie as Serpentor grills Falcon for information.

Seriously, Serpentor says that Falcon can't hold out against his light taps on the cheek. Falcon sells it though, so...yeah. Slaughter and the guys escape, Cobra vows revenge, and take off to get the BET, more pew pew times! The next battle is well done, but it isn't the best since you now have Cobra-La planes and creatures attacking as well, takes away from the cool military battle that could have happened.

The main thing of this battle is when Falcon and Slaughter's group arrive to help, Serpentor engages Falcon in a battle, and uses one of his snakes to try and spear Falcon in the heart, BUT, Duke takes it instead, saving Falcon. Also, Serpentor now has the Cobra-La battle cry of, "Cobra-La la la la la la la la!" It's amusing!

Amazingly enough, taking a snake to the heart only puts you in a coma instead of flat out killing you. This is due to the fact that the backlash against the death of Optimus Prime lead to them pulling Duke's death, you can tell that this was meant to be a death scene with how everyone is reacting. Remove the "He's in a coma" remark and it's a death scene.

Back in Cobra-La the BET is delivered and they begin the ripening process on the space spores of uber doom as Roadblock finds the team sent to find him, they are able to fix his eyes (maybe they had an Esuna spell?) And they try to warn the Joes attacking Cobra-La, but they get trapped (man, special forces top of the top, yet they get captured all the time). So this causes the new recruits to go and save all the highly trained experienced soldiers. By this time Cobra Commander is totally snake and nutty and slithers off (don't worry, he'll get better).

The rookies team up with the remaining Joes, free the rest of the team and we have the big final battle. This means we get to see all the characters in the show who didn't have a line, they fill in the background and beat up the bad guys. However, Burgess Meredith isn't finished yet, and summons forth the creatures of Cobra-La to attack...which are big bugs, it's like that scene in King Kong with all the giant bugs.

The Joes fight off the bugs as Slaughter, Falcon, and Jinx make their way to the palace for the final battle. Best part of this battle is that Slaughter takes on the manbat, and it's awesome to see him lay the smack down on Nemesis Enforcer. Jinx takes on Pythona, kicks her butt, and then Pythona jumps into a pit to her death, Slaughter follows up by chucking the bat guy into the hole like a piece of wadded up tissue.

During all this, Falcon is fighting with Serpentor, and one of his snakes is trying to strangle him, but Cobra Commander shows up and saves Falcon. Falcon then grabs Serpentor's cape and gets it caught up in the fan of his chariot (Incredibles was right after all!). Of course, then Burgess Meredith enters the fray and takes on Falcon himself.

After stabbing Meredith in the eye, he's able to destroy the spores using the BET to fry them in space, then sets the thing to overload to destroy it and Cobra-La. Meredith escapes and is never mentioned in the cartoon again.

So the Joes are enjoying their victory, random radio call to say Duke is out of his coma, movie ends, credits roll, we get awesome instrumental version of the opening theme now. End of one of the odder experiences of my childhood.

This movie is silly, to the extreme. It has it's moments, the opening theme is great where the Joes and Cobra battle on the Statue of Liberty. The battle scenes in the movie are well done. Slaughter is just a delight to watch as he plays the most macho Joe around. Cobra-La is just a silly thing to introduce into a show that had nothing like it before, especially with the history of Cobra Commander. Unlike Unicron and the Matrix for the Transformers, Cobra-La was shunned and forgotten, heck, Serpentor himself is turned into a lizard in the episodes following the movie and forgotten as well.

In the end, I think the movie is good for a laugh.

My final score: 3/5

I'll let Roadblock have the final words:

Random update

2010-07-27T06:12:00.001-07:00

Got a few things stirring. Been kinda lazy lately. Playing Final Fantasy V, reading on the newest Falconfar book and bouncing around on a few movies. Hope to have some new stuff up soon.

Avatar Movie Review

2010-07-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

So I finally gave in and picked up Avatar to give it a shot (and to also buy the rifftrax for the movie, they are so awesome). How does this movie measure up the the hype and awards? Is it an epic masterpiece of unrivaled proportions, or is it another dime a dozen sci-fi/fantasy flicks that're good for a popcorn view and nothing else? Read on to see, be warned though, spoilers ahead.

Characters: 2/5

First off, we're going to look at the characters. Boy, you thought Twilight had flat boring characters, just wait until you see Avatar. The characters are just boring cliches. The main character Jake (I think that's his name, I couldn't overly care for him) is just a boring guy who spends the whole movie going "Woah!" at everything on Pandora (more on that later). The main girl is the exotic beauty and the daughter of the village chief (man, how original!) and she's the one who falls for Jake as she teaches him the ways of their noble can do no wrong tribe.

The rest of the characters are equally shallow and bit parts, save for three. The first is the weaselly little corporation head that oversees the mining operation. He can be seen playing golf while everyone works, is a racist, hates the Na'vi, thinks them godless savages and cares only for money (SYMBOLISM!). Second is Sigourney Weaver, who is the head scientist of the Avatar program, she's the smoking, cussing braniac who sympathizes with the Navi. Lastly, the one who is the reason I gave the characters a 2 instead of a 1 is Colonel Miles Quaritch, played by Stephen Lang. This guy is a riot. The most over the top, muscles for brains lunatic you've ever seen. Chest thumpin' hard edged, no mercy, anti-peace guy who spouts the most ridiculous lines you can think of. Seriously, there should have been a laugh track following this guy around.

Art Design: 4/5

There is no denying it, this movie is beautiful, and that's the problem, it's TOO beautiful. You can't get drawn into this movie because everything is too perfect. Pandora is every fantasy cliche taken to the Nth degree. When you walk along the ground, your footprints glow (kinda like Micheal Jackson's Billy Jean music video). The creatures are basically just earth critters given extra details (six legged horses, or the laughing hyenas) or just fantasy creatures (the dragon bird things).

The landscape is like a mix between a Windows screen saver, those fantasy posters you see in a college dorm, and those fiber optic light trees....and toss in a lava lamp for good measure, and you got Pandora. The whole place is just too glowy. And there are floating mountains...with no reason given as to WHY they float. Waterfalls rush off the sides...and where does the water come from? Who knows, not Cameron, that's for sure. I would've accepted the floating mountains if they gave some reason, even a simple throw away line (heck, Beast Wars Transformers had an episode with a floating mountain, which was caused by a large mass of unstable Energon, the energy field it created lifted the mountain off of the ground. A children's cartoon could explain it, but not the massive budget CGI wankfest that is Avatar).

Then of course, there is the Na'vi themselves. They're furries. Cat-like elven faries, all perfect, beautiful and graceful. Seriously, that's all they are. Cameron took the cheap route in the movie by making the aliens beautiful so they'll be easier to love and want to win, instead of going for a challenge and making the race not-so-pretty, but no, flash before substance after all. They are perfect, slender, strong, tall, agile, skilled, there is not one flaw to them, which is just boring. I'd like to see the Predators hunt the Na'vi and show them some true skill. Fah!

Music: 3/5

The music wasn't bad, but it wasn't memorable either. It was just there, it was whimsical when needed, action packed when needed, tribal when called for. It just filled the role that was called, nothing really stood out to me in the movie. That's a shame too, since James Horner did the soundtrack, he's also done Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan (BEST STAR TREK MOVIE EVER!) and Aliens (another Cameron movie, and a good one too). But in the end, it's just meh.

Story: 1/5

It's Dances in Wolves meets The Last Samurai meets Fern Gully meets Pocahontas....IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! Oh, and sprinkle in a heavy dose of Environmentalist ideology and you got Avatar. Seriously, the story is the same thing as Fern Gully, and people love to mock that movie, yet they praise this movie...why? They're both cartoons. Should just have the evil big bad colonel sing that Slime song Tim Curry sang in Fern Gully. This movie is, for the most part, boring. You watch Jake learn the ways of the noble, pure, beautiful, graceful, can do no wrong Na'vi, and you see the evils of the big bad capitalist corporation more concerned with money than lives, and you see the big bad evil army (oh wait, they're mercenaries instead of marines) as it burns down the forests so you'll hate hate hate them and their evil ways. Oh! And the colonel drinks a cup of coffee whilst they burn down the forest. Man...what cartoonishly bad cliches of villainy. If only they had mustaches they could twiddle and stroke whilst they cackled maniacally and gave Bond villain speeches of how they'll take over the world.

On the plus side, the final battle was cool. It was well done, no extreme up close shaky cam shots, but pulled back so you can see the action. The battle was able to follow the main heroes and villains around and you got to see what all they did, and how they did. It was well done, and it made me glad to see that Cameron could still direct a great action scene (he did do Terminator 2 and Aliens, what I consider two of the greatest action movies around).

Final Score: 3/5 (Not an average)

This movie is a middle of the road movie, nothing more. It's not great, and it's at least passable as a SyFy movie plot, just with an overblown budget. The characters are shallow...and I mean shallow. The best character is the comically over the top evil Colonel. If I was given a choice to watch this or Revenge of the Sith, I'd take Lucas' CGI movie over Cameron's. Lucas at least gave me a story, while similar to alot of other stories (even the original trilogy's story), at least it wasn't an almost scene for scene replay of a previous movie (like Avatar is for Fern Gully.) This two hour and forty minute tale could be told in half the time if it wasn't for so much padding to show us the 'uber awesome beauty' of Pandora.

Me? I'll stick to Borderlands' Pandora, it's much more awesome to run around on.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and forget the bad Avatar and watch the good Avatar...The Last Airbender (the cartoon, NOT that crap movie).

Game Review - Transformers: War for Cybertron

2010-07-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

Transformers, a series that began back in the 80s, and is a childhood love of mine. It has existed in some form or another over the years, from comics, CGI TV shows, and even big budget live action movies. From the great writing of the Beast Wars cartoon, to the awful writing and directing of Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers has it's highs and lows, and is full of memorable moments, both good and bad. The series has had a hand full of games over the years, most of them are forgettable or just flat out bad (like the Beast Wars game I used to have, it was so bad I sold it to Gamestop). The one game I read was pretty good was the Transformers Armada game for the PS2, though sadly, I never got around to picking it up.

But today we are looking at the newest Transformers game. It is not based on a show or movie, and is set as a prequel somewhat tied to the original Generation 1 cartoon. Millions of years ago on Cybertron, we see the early stages of the Great War between the evil Decepticons and the noble Autobots. Is it good? Is it bad? Read on to find out.

Story: 4/5

I find the story to be really good, namely because it makes several references to the past series, using ideas, lines, and a slew of other points to bring it all together into this game. The game shows the motivations of the Decepticon leader, Megatron, as he wages his war against the Autobots. He desires to return Cybertron to it's age of glory, at any cost. The story is set in two parts, with the Decepticon story taking place before the Autobot one. It shows the Decepticons rising up over the Autobot leader, Zeta Prime, and are poised to take over the planet.

When the Decepticon story ends, the Autobot story begins with Optimus taking over temporary command of the Autobots after the death of Zeta Prime. Eventually, Optimus answers the call and become the leader of the Autobots, becoming Optimus Prime as he battles against the forces of the Decepticons. While there are alot more things going on in the story, I'll leave those to you to find out, but needless to say, it's a love letter to the fans of the Transformers.

Graphics: 4/5

The game looks pretty. The game shows well the planet Cybertron, giving it an alien, yet familiar look. The colors of the game help easily show which areas belong to the Autobots, and what has been taken by the Decepticons. Even the designs of the Transformers themselves has been well done. Ones like Optimus Prime have a familiar designs to their Earth forms, but changed to make it different enough, but still recall the forms and look of the original cartoons. The transformers also carry coloring that makes them easy to pick out, the Autobots having red highlights and the Decepticons having purple, this helps in the story and in the online modes.

Sound and Music: 3/5

This is probably one of the weaker points of the game. The music is rather forgettable for the most part, rock and roll style music to help carry the scenes along. The most memorable song is the end credits, which is a new age version of the old Transformers theme.

Sound effects on the other hand fit the scenes well. The weapons make the standard sounds. The most important sound to have, is the Transformation jingle, and it is there in many variations, similar to the Bay movies, how it's different with each Transformer, which helps make them more notable.

Gameplay: 5/5

The gameplay for the game is excellent. It's an over the shoulder third person shooter. You play as one of three Transformers each level, which helps tie into the online co-op. You can play online with your friends or off-line with AI partners. The Transformers you play can transform at any time and you can play the levels in either robot or vehicle modes, which really adds an extra element to the gameplay, and each transformer has a different handling vehicle to help differentiate them further from each other. Some of the levels require you to use the vehicle mode (namely the jet levels), so you even have a shooter level to help break up the usual ground based mission.

Replayability: 4/5

The game has great replayability. With alot of trophies/achievements to obtain, online modes to play with, and three different characters to pick from per level, you have a solid playing experience to come back to over and over. The online modes are very close to Call of Duty in how it's handled. Bring able to level up four different classes, each handling very differently with pros and cons to help make team play more important.

The one thing that would keep this area a perfect 5 is the connection issues. You will spend several minutes trying to connect to a match, which is horrible. I have no idea why this game has such issues, perhaps the makers did not think it would be the hit it was. But I hope they release a patch update to fix this major problem.

Overall: 4/5

I am a fan of Transformers, I've loved them since the original cartoon back in the 80s, sticking with them through thick and thin, even trying to like and ultimately hating the Bay movie Revenge of the Fallen (seriously, why does Bay still get work? But that's for another review later). This game was made by people who care for, enjoy and cherished this series. it shows in the final product they released, it has so many ties to the other series to have something for everyone (even Bay movie fans). If you like Transformers and were a fan, or even if you're just a fan of a solid 3rd person shooter, then I highly and strongly recommend this game for you, I don't think it will let you down.

Plus the chance to hear Optimus Prime give the famous order....it's great.

Autobots! Transform and roll out!

Upcoming Review

2010-07-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

I've been quiet for a long while now, sorry. Been reading alot, gaming, and making the comic (which is currently my biggest time sink overall). My next review will be of the new Transformers: War for Cybertron game that has come out. I also got a couple of small things in the works, so stay tuned for that.

Random Update

2010-06-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

Haven't done overmuch gaming as late. Actually been reading alot. Finished the Dresden Files series, and I love it. I've also added to the links my Megaman X comic, "Maverick Daze", so check it out too.

Dear George RR Martin

2010-05-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

*warning: to those who are easily offended over someone being critical of Martin, you might not wanna read this post.

I happened to be looking for new books to read, so I was browsing articles of authors and book series on Wikipedia, and on a whim, I decided to look to see if there was anything new regarding the newest Song of Ice and Fire series, A Dance with Dragons. As I read the stuff on the page, I happened upon this link that was sourced:

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/books/article/784607--do-yourself-a-favour-don-t-read-this-book

And I was...wow. Martin has obtained an ego about himself, along with his other posts I've read on his website about not being 'bullied' and such, I couldn't believe how insane he was acting about this.

When A Feast for Crows came out, five years ago, it was to be part ONE of a two parter, due to the fact Martin said that the book was too large as a single volume. When part one was released, he spoke as if he had just some simple stuff to finish to send it to be published....and that was five years ago. Missed publication date after another passed and now there isn't a date at all. Blaming rewrites, other projects, and other such things....I might accept for a year's delay from the first date....but five? No.

Martin talked about lunatics who have stated they don't want Martin to 'pull a Jordan'. While this remark was ill constructed, the basis of it I understand and can agree with. Martin might be the picture of perfect help, but tomorrow a healthy man could die without warning, and to leave his work unfinished is an insult in itself. Jordan, who had health issues, knew there was a strong chance he could pass before his work was finished (which he did) and so, he worked to the very end to get pages written, outlines made and notes to line out scenes, everything he could do in case of the worst, and while the Wheel of Time series has moments that irk me, the fact he worked so hard for his fans, I have great respect for him, and I do love the books so much too.

Martin on the other hand works on everything but the new I&F book, which is a major insult to his fans. He does have an obligation to finish his work to present to his fans, for without them, he would be no one. He is famous and has made his money from his writings due to his fans. Psychos and lunatics who write death threats aside, he does owe it to his fans to finish his books, not write on his blog about his other projects, political views (no one cares what you think about which party is better), or his sports picks (which are as pointless as the president's picks). We want you to do the job you're paid to do, write the books!

They seem to be working on a TV series based on the first book, it might be cool, but I don't care, visual formats rarely ever measure up to the written word in the books. I would be happy to watch the show if it was made AFTER the series was done, but I think Martin has taken up so much to work on things besides the book series people want him to write, and it's horrible. He goes on vacation all over the place to boot.

I love the series Martin has written for us, but this waiting, it irks me to no end, and his constant excuses and almost venomous replies to not wanting to be 'bullied' because people want him to finish the book....it's almost pathetic. Will I read the book when(if) it is released? Yes. Will it be the day it comes out....I dunno...probably not now. There are so many other books and authors who write and get the books out and have a much more pleasant attitude to the fans, as such, they are more deserving of my more immediate attentions and support to ensure they continue to craft of wonder and give us worlds to explore and characters to love and hate. When Martin gets off his high horse and gets the book out and starts to work like one who wishes to give us his story to read like authors often wish to, I will be more supportive.

The thing I find most funny, Robert Jordan, though he passed away a couple of years now, is still getting his final books out in a proper time and fashion before Martin can. Jordan not getting his book out I can understand due to the fact he passed away, Martin has no such excuse, yet the dead man has a better work ethic. Is it a bad remark I made? Maybe, but it's true.

Stop making excuses Martin, write the book, and get it out.

Random Update

2010-05-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

Been busy with some stuff. Reading now mainly between playing Megaman 10 and Final Fantasy V.

So I finished the Sherlock Holmes Mysteries, a collection of short stories...and I loved it. Made me love the new movie even more. Second book is the Phoenix Transformed, the last of the Enduring Flame trilogy, and I really enjoyed that book too.

I hope to have the next Dante's Inferno part up, and I am probably going to change up the style after that. I also have some reviews in the work too, mainly text reviews for the moment, plus some other tidbits.

Marvel vs Capcom 3 Impressions

2010-04-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

So yeah, now we have Marvel vs Capcom 3 coming out, and I am actually pretty excited to see how they handle this game. After so many years since the second game, they have so much more they can add to this game. While most Capcom fighters seem to mimic the Street Fighter of the time, this movie makes me think that the game will mirror in alot of ways Street Fighter IV, which I don't consider a bad thing at all, as I looooove Street Fighter IV.

But until they begin to release more information we can only guess what the final product is really like. So until then, here's a list of characters I want to see in the game:

Mickey Mouse
Donald Duck
Goofy
Pete
Spider-Man
Doctor Doom
Magneto
Wolverine
M Bison
Guile
Ryu
Akuma
Sagat
Mega Man X
Zero
Sigma
Axl
Dante
Virgil

If I could get the bulk of those in the game, I would be so happy.

Game Review - Final Fantasy III

2010-04-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

I recently completed Final Fantasy III on the Nintendo DS, and have pondered upon the product. As such, I present you this review based on my reaction on this game. Read on to know more...

Story: 3/5
The story in the DS version, from what I've read of the game, is the same as the original NES save for the fact the four warriors of Light that you play in the game have been given names and back stories as opposed to the original, where they had no names or story, they were just pushed into the events of the game, similar to Final Fantasy I's four heroes. Sadly, this addition, while neat, really doesn't add any depth beyond a few lines of dialogue and some small bits in the start of the game, beyond that, you could replace them with anyone else and it'd not change much. They're not really developed beyond cliche traits, the girl is motherly to the others, one is a loyal knight, one a nerd-ish character who is bullied, and the last and one you start with is the typical adventurous type who is always getting into trouble.

That aside, the story itself is more like a series of random events that move the heroes from point to point until they get to specific parts that involve the main story itself. You stop a kingdom from going to civil war, taking out the evil councilor who was manipulating the King all along. You also rescue a king and his subjects from another councilor (different kingdom) after he betrayed and captured them all. You do this and at the end, some random guy will go, "Oh yeah, here, have this airship, it'll help you on your quest to save the world." And then you move on to the next part.

Remove all that story padding, and the game would be short. BUT, towards the last third of the game's story, when you begin the final series of events that lead to the ending, the story gets decent at least. The Great Sage Noah, before he passed away, granted a gift to each of his three students. Doga was given mastery of Magic, Unei was given the power of the dream world, and Xande was given the gift of mortality. Xande, the main villain of the game, goes insane due to his mortality, and strives to prevent his own end, to the point he causes the powers of the Dark to flood the world, causing time on the surface world to stop, thus granting him immortality. I don't know why it is, but people who are given the 'gift' of mortality always go nuts and want immortality...I suggest from now on, no one give out mortality unless they wish to create a villain who will try to destroy the world to gain immortality.

On the floating continent, time continued on, and the forces of darkness were attempting to move in on it, thus the four elemental crystals that govern the world chose four youths to defend the world and beat back the darkness. So far it's pretty standard and cliche. The whole idea of a mage going nuts and messing with the balance of elemental powers of the world to stop time sounds cool, but really, all you see is a world flooded with darkness until you gain the Water Crystal's blessing and then the flood draws back to reveal a world to explore.

Eventually you come across the other two students of Noah, Doga and Unei, and you must pass their tasks in order to access the final dungeons. In the end, you must fight the duo in order to power a key they give you, and such, you slay them in battle to advance. After all this, you pass the first of the three final dungeons, the Ancient's Maze, and into the Crystal Tower, where at the top you face Xande. I'd like to say this is an epic show down with the build up (such as it was) the story gives you, but honestly, after you beat him, and I walked right over him, you find he isn't the final boss, no, you have a whole dungeon after him to go through.

In the end, his tampering causes a force known as the Cloud of Darkness to appear. It (even though it looks like a green naked woman, the creature is genderless) appears and wishes to destroy the world and return it to the Void. In the end, you face her after teaming with the Warriors of the Dark from the World of Darkness and save both worlds, thus restoring the balance between Dark and Light.

While this story might have been epic back when it came out on the NES, it's just...I dunno, stale. It's not horrible, but it lacks alot of the spark modern RPGs have in their stories. Many elements of this would also be used later in other games. Ultamecia in VIII wanting to alter time to change her own demise, the Necron's wish to destroy the world and return it to the Void, Kuja's sanity breaking when he discovers his own mortality drawing close.

In the end, happy ending for all, but I just can't like this story as compared to others in the series. It's a real shame too, as this game is sandwiched between two games with amazing stories (II, and IV to be clear) and they had good characters, stories, and events that helped the flow of the tale. So in the end, this story was average at best, boring at worst.

Graphics: 5/5

For a Nintendo DS game, this game is beautiful. The background, dungeons, and everything look really good on the hand held. I'd say the graphics are slightly better than that of the PSOne's power. There is alot of detail in the character models, but the environments are really pretty to look at. Not alot I can say on that beyond that I wish the system allowed for more detail on the monster models, since the monsters are based off of Amano's fantastical style of art.

Music: 4/5

The music in this game is really well done. The main problem is that you're just remixing the old NES tracks on the DS, and sticking close to the old songs, thus they're short, and loop quite a bit. Some of the tracks just seem like they could have been so much more, but they still serve their role well. But there are a couple of tracks that just really stick with me, namely the Doga and Unei track that plays when they're involved.

Gameplay: 3/5

The gameplay of III is a sad thing. as it hasn't aged well like some of the other games. While I am a big fan of the Job Class system used in many of the Final Fantasy games, here they are a chore. As usual to the main series, you often gain job classes from the Crystals, and each batch of new jobs offers new skills and abilities to explore, or are an upgrade of an old job class. The main problem is, when you change a job class, unless you had mastered it's job, you had a set time of battles you had to clear before you could use the class properly, as you were depowered until then. This was an annoying feature, and helped to slow down the pace of the game.

Another minus is the fact that the game's upgrade, they couldn't fit the number of creatures on the battlefield like before, limited to only three at the max, thus the enemies are beefed up for the lack of numbers, and alot can take several turns in one round (the final boss acts four times a round) and that can hurt, especially when they can hit a party member that was just revived in that round. It helps add an annoyance factor to the game, as well as demanding that you do a ton of level grinding to ensure you are able to tackle these bosses and enemies.

A final gripe in the gameplay is the fact that there is NO save point in the final dungeons. They decided to leave it out, as it would make the final area too easy. This made me not play the game for a day when I got to the final boss, and got wiped out (despite the fact I was able to beat all the other bosses in the final dungeon rather easily). So I had to restart outside the second to last dungeon and battle aaaaalllll the way back, reacquire the items in those dungeons, and relevel. I rage quit after that and went off to watch Burn Notice.

If they didn't want to put a save point there, make a warp back to the world map or something, it was silly. But that was a big gripe for me, in addition to the other stuff.

Replayability: 3/5

This one is in the middle of the road too, and I think this is partly due to Nintendo wanting them to use the Wi-Fi function of the DS. There are several side quests you can do in the game to aquire more magic, summons, and gear. While most of this comes right from the original game, several new quests were added, and the most annoying thing is, to access them, you MUST send a letter to another player using the game's messaging system. So not only must you have a copy, you got to have someone else who does, message them seven times to be able to unlock the quests. This was beyond stupid and limited the game for those who didn't have friends with the game or wi-fi access, plus it was a pointless tacked on feature. Because of this feature, you cannot access the final job class, ultimate weapons, or superboss of the game unless you message another player.

UGH!

Overall: 3.5/5 (not an average)

While the final score is not an average, the game itself is very average. It's not horrible, but it's not amazing either. The game is surpassed by the two that came before, and the many games to follow. The next weakest game to this I would say is VIII, and that's a ways off from III, so at least the series manages to have a bunch of pretty good games under it's belt before another weak one. I enjoyed the game for what it is, but it isn't much. The characters are, for the most part, flat. The story is sparse and more like a series of unfortunate events than an actual continuing narrative.

While die hard fans might want to give this one a try, others I would say if you want to play a Final Fantasy with the Job Class system, pick up V or Tactics, both are better, and far more enjoyable.

Comic Book Movies a look back...

2010-04-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

The comic book movie has come a long way from the old Adam West Batman movie (hilariously bad, but still not what Batman is, though some might argue that point), today we have Iron Man, The Dark Knight, X-Men and so on. Most comic movies now are treated with more respect than they used to be. However, the main problem to most of these beloved franchises is the movie studios. Often times they move in to ensure that they can get the biggest bang for their buck, and shove in things to ensure it draws a crowd, regardless of if it harms the story or not. So here is a sampling of the big comic book movies that have have rocky roads, ups and downs, and my personal thoughts on them....

The Batman Series (old and new):

When Tim Burton began, he crafted a dark and Gothic movie that captured the feel of Batman really well. However, this movie's success let the studio give Burton more control, and this is the opposite end of the spectrum, where an actor or director is given too much control, because then we got Batman Returns. I must admit, I do not like Batman returns at all, while yes, it has a bigger budget that allowed for a better designed Batsuit and other such improvements...the story just got too dark and ugly.

Sadly, due to this, the studio's heavy hand and knee jerk reaction activated and they replaced Burton with Joel Schumacher, one of the worst directors around in my opinion (mainly due to what he did to Batman). Not wanting a repeat of Batman Returns, Joel 'mainstreamed' Batman and made him more kid friendly. While the movie is watchable, it's no where near the classic standing of the first Batman movie. This movie was again a hit, and the studio gave more control to Joel for this one and resulted in possibly the worst superhero movie ever made. Again, the knee jerk happened and this pretty much killed the Batman franchise for nearly a decade until they decided to try again, this time in a more serious tone, similar to the first Burton Batman.

As such we have been given two incredible Batman movies. Batman Begins and The Dark Knight are two movies that have really hit what Batman is on the head. While losing some of the style of Burton's films, the movies did great justice to the saga of Batman. We can only hope that for the next movie, the studio doesn't muscle in to have things done 'their way', and we can also hope that the director doesn't get a big head and go overboard. While super hero comics have alot of over the top stuff, in the movie you must balance the effects, and powers with a story that people can enjoy and follow. Also, I hope they don't make another Catwoman movie. Ugh.

Superman Movies:

The Superman movies suffer and long and rough road. The first movie was a serious take on the Man of Steel, and the director made a great film. The second one began this decline when Donner (the director) was fired due to the big wigs wanting the film to be campier while Donner wanted it to be more serious. Thus after a second director finishes Superman II, we get Superman III and IV....horrible movies that are just bad. Again, this is what happens when the powers that be get more control. However, this also results in Superman's next movie being put on hold for many many long years, just like Batman. In the end, we get a good, is somewhat long and drawn out sequel that discards Superman III and IV, Superman Returns.

Superman Returns is not so much a sequel as a tribute to the first two movies and reintroduces Superman to a new generation. While I thought this was a good movie (some minor complaints but that's for another post), this movie was deemed not what the studio wanted, and from what I've read, they're wanting to reboot Superman....I just hope they don't knee jerk and go all dark like the Dark Knight since it was a box office hit. My main reason is that Batman is dark and Gothic, Superman is not. Supes is triumphant and uplifting, he's the Hero's hero. He's what other heros strive to be, not some brooding anti-social character. But, in the end, only time will tell.

Fantastic Four:

And then there is the Fantastic Four series. While not an overly excellent series, nor a bad series, the FF movies fall into the middle of the road really. There is supposed to be a never before seen movie filmed back in the day that was so bad it was never released...and I'd hate to think of a movie that was worse than these two. Like I said, they're competent, but popcorn flicks. There is no attachment to them, and while the second one was alot better than the first, the Silver Surfer being the only likable character one can become attached to, the rest is just mainly one liners and effects shots. The Thing is probably the most likable of the Four, and The Invisible Woman is nothing but eye candy, not giving a chance to show off how smart the character is supposed to be, it's all about her looks. Torch is just a jerk, and Mister Fantastic is boring and not really given anything to do but shot off his power in often humorous ways. The movies are shallow and leaning towards camp with the humor, which is ironic seeing as the Fantastic Four are scientists.

I read that they're supposed to be rebooting the franchise, and the supposed Silver Surfer sequel won't happen. Maybe the reboot will be good...might be bad, who knows? The second FF movie was superior to the first, the characters moving more in the direction they were supposed to go, but still falling short. Maybe if they had made FF3, they would have finally gotten it...but I kind of doubt it, due to their placing as a summer action flick and little else. I would have loved to see the Surfer movie, as JMS of Babylon 5 fame was supposed to be writing it...I think that movie may have been awesome if they didn't let the suits ruin it, or get some substandard director (Boll, Bay).

The Spider-Man movies:

This is the last on my list to talk about, and this one is more personal for me, as I was always a major Spider-Man fan, he was my favorite comic to read when I collected comics. The decision to put Sam Raimi as the director was, in my opinion, perfect. His sense of humor in his work complemented Spider-Man well, who was the everyday guy in the superhero world, and a joker in the superhero world. The first two movies are excellent and really well done, managing to hit big points in the Spider-Man story as well.

However, as with the case of alot of series, the suits move in. In Spider-Man 3 we see them muscling in to include Venom in the movie, and adding more clutter to an already busy film. If you left out Venom and focused on the Harry/Peter feud and on the new villain Sandman, the movie would have been awesome. Sandman is great and given alot of screen time to help establish him as a troubled guy who did the wrong thing for the right reason. Venom on the other hand, that whole sub-plot with Eddie Brock was just tacked on to try and add more 'bam' to the movie when it wasn't needed.

And now the studio is rebooting Spider-Man already, when 3 wasn't bad, and made them money, but they couldn't get Raimi to get on it fast enough for them, so rebooting...and I'm afraid the humor and everyday look at Spider-Man will be lost to an emo whiney style of superhero, making him full of angst...basically what the whole Venom plot did in Spider-Man 3. I have hope that the next Spidey movie will be good...but who knows anymore? We'll find out when it's released.

That's my view on those series, and kind of a view of the superhero comic book movies in general. While I left the X-Men series off, I view that should be looked at on it's own due to so many movies being out now and even more to come, and they have an odd flow to them. Really, in the end, the studio shouldn't force things into the movie, really the only thing they should do is keep the director in line so they don't go overboard either, it's a balancing process. Because when the right balance is achieved, a good movie is made, when one side tilts further than the other, then we get alot of problems, especially in how they handle the source material. So in the end, you could end up with Superman III, Spider-Man 3 on one side, or Batman & Robin on the other.

It's up to the personal choices of the viewer, but this is how I see it.

Final Fantasy III - Fun Stuff

2010-04-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

Since I beat Final Fantasy XIII, and am currently working on Darksiders with a friend, my main focus right now is the DS Remake of Final Fantasy III, which was once a Nintendo game, and I got to say, I am enjoying it. The story isn't as complex as some of the newer installments of the series, but it's fun. Like Darksiders, I'll get a review up when I get a chance after I beat it.

2010-04-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

After beating God of War III, and Dante's Inferno, one of my friends brought over Darksiders, and we've popped it in and have been playing it. The game isn't God of War III, but it is faaaaar superior to Dante's Inferno. Darksiders actually tries to be different from the usual God of War clone, and I actually like it alot. I'll have a review on it when I complete the game.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

An alcoholic Happy Easter from the Iron Man army here at T Time!

May your Easter be happy and fully of fun and good times!

Let's Dive into Dante's Inferno - Part 5

2010-03-30T20:39:00.001-07:00

Warning: sexual images