It's The Thought That Matters

Thoughts on: Christian Leaders

2015-05-17T23:58:00.002+08:00

WARNING: Potentially long read. Only attempt to do so if you have at least 10 minutes of free time or so to read a product of an insufficiently-educated mind. Anyway, after almost a year-long hiatus or so, I'm finally back to contribute something that I've always wanted to talk about but never had much to say up until today as a result of attending a particularly "interesting" event. Now as most of you would know, I'm not really the most pious or devout Christian friend that you have or maybe even had and although I try to live by the teachings of Christ, I must admit with regret that I refuse to submit to the ways of Christ in countless occasions. In this I have no one else to blame except myself for the lack of faith and submission but let's leave that issue for another. What I wanted to talk about today is the matter of Christian leaders, please pardon the redundancy, especially those with immense influence and power. It should be known, though, that this also applies to leaders of all religions other than Christianity as the only reason why I chose to talk on the people of my belief is the simple fact that I've had first-hand experience with them although not exactly face-to-face kind of encounter per se. If you, my dear friend, have at least read a thing or two in the last 5 years, you would have heard of a certain influential and important Christian leader in Singapore who was involved in a fiasco of which he embezzled his own church's funds which was then paraded for the rest of his congregation to see, in the form of his wife's face. Or maybe some of you, my Christian friends who attend your own respective churches, may feel like the church's growth is being restricted by the reluctance of her leaders to accept the inevitable change. Mind the fact that I do not only mean pastors, bishops or reverends. When the word "leader" is used in the church, it means a person which we all look up to as a role model regardless of age. Yesterday, I signed up for and attended a conference which I thought would prove to be useful later in my future profession, for those of you who still don't know I'm taking a nursing course, and was told that the conference would be conducted with elements of Christianity in it. Truth to be told, I was really excited to be around people of vast experience and knowledge who also shared the same belief as I do which explained why I immediately got onto the bandwagon without a moment's hesitation. All was well at the start of the event, worship was lively, people were shaking hands all over the place, food was good up to the point where a video presentation was aired on the screen. That's where my opinion of the whole thing went sideways.

Call me over-thinking, unreasonable or judgmental, I'm not really bothered as I still stand by my opinion. The video which was played for the audience to see gave me the impression that they were not giving honour where it is due, or rather they had the wrong priority. If someone so inexperienced or immature like me could have that impression, what about the seasoned veterans who were out there? I cannot see how it could go unnoticed unless their minds are losing their edge, please pardon the pun. Anyway, as the conference went on, I began to pick up other vibes that the visitors, sorry if I did not mention this earlier but there was a group of foreign Christians who came to present their cases, were trying to imply that their leader did miracles in curing the local sick people there. It became so ridiculous to the point where one of them declared that Ebola was exterminated in Congo as a result of their leader's prayer. Look, please do not get me wrong. I'm not saying that prayer is useless or a hoax but to say that a virus which is so widely spread in that country could suddenly be eradicated with the prayers of a single man in the span of 10 days, I think it'll be much easier for me to convince Galileo that the world is indeed flat.

Hitherto, some or maybe even most of you may not have seen my point. What I'm trying to put out on the table here is how are people like this getting away with what they do. In my honest and humble opinion, I feel that no one in this world, except for God Himself, should be given access to unopposed power. Some of us read, most of us were told and everyone sees that power indeed corrupts. Let me remind you of a common occurrence in all our lives which we can definitely relate to. We were all students in school before and in all schools, class monitors, prefects and librarians were appointed. Some of us who are more privileged became part of the coveted prefectorial body. I do hope that you see where I am getting at now. I mean to say that people with power, tend to abuse them. It's already happening in children, what more adults? Ask yourself if you were a prefect or otherwise, your friend who was one. Who were the students who carried their illegal stuff to school and placed it in their prefects' room. As a matter of fact, even prefects who warned their friends when the next spot-check would be are considered to be abusing the power that was bestowed to them. Back to the original discussion, the same happens with leaders that have power beyond measure. They start having exorbitant demands which progressively becomes harder to meet to the point where if it's not fulfilled, he or she blasphemes that the demand was made in conjunction with God's will. Up till now, I have yet to see a statement in a Bible which calls for a temple of worship with the dimensions of the Chinese Bird Nest Stadium. Or what about the case of certain pastors in America, who have their private airfields and planes? Are they then any better than a politician whom we so widely ridicule? A much older and similar example of this would be the life of King Saul where he rose to the throne under God's approval and subsequently lost it because he was so drunk on his newly-acquired power and influence, he thought that it was God who needed him and not the other way around.

Another one of my two-cents would be that these leaders manage to do whatever they like because no one dared to question their motives. Those who do would have most likely been kicked out or even shunned by others belonging to the majority who are blinded by the pompous claims of miraculous deeds by their larger-than-life leader. What most of us, especially Asians, don't realise is that we tend to follow without questioning where we're going. This could be attributed to the way we were brought up while we were children which was to do whatever we were told no matter how questionable the instructions were. As a result, we carry this behaviour into adulthood and even up till today, a majority of us remain the same because we're afraid that by challenging the authority, we would be burdened by the responsibility of having it which we always assume that we're never ready for. Please do not misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not implying that we must pounce at every opportunity to challenge our elders but rather to implore that we take a minute or so to process what we're told to do or believe. Faith without reason is fanaticism and the perfect example of a fanatic is none other than Herr Hitler himself.

The last thing that I have on my mind is that we tend to forget that God works through us, not solely by the gifts we were given. We are so amazed by the extraordinary feats of the leaders we respect so much so we forget that it is only by God's grace and will that such miracles could happen. I shall try to explain this in the simplest way possible. As cliche as it sounds, we are only human and leaders are no different. Being human, we can never escape the reality of having flaws but in the case of being a leader, especially an influential and powerful one, pride becomes our fatal downfall. Pride, or ego as we call it, can never be satisfied. It continues to feed and grow so insidiously that by the time it presents itself, we're already too late. How will pride grow you ask? Put yourself in the shoes of a pastor whom God has blessed with the power of healing for example. After a few successful sessions of healing, even the most humble person will start to have a sliver of thought that he or she was chosen of such a benevolent task because of their own capability. When this happens, we begin to forget that the Lord giveth and the Lord also taketh away. Once again, we return to the example of King Saul. He thought that it was due to his own intelligence and strength that wars were won. Consequently, he was stripped of God's anointing and then thrown to the Amonites to be killed. I can only hope that we always keep in mind that we can only be successful because of His guidance and blessing. God gave us our skills so that we can serve in areas that were designated to us when the time is right.

In the end, all that has been said will only just be my opinions. It is up to you readers to think on what I've talked on and to separate what's right from wrong. I might have made some crucial mistakes in my explanations or examples and I hope that if that is true, you would correct me so that I too may learn. For now, I wish you all a nice and fruitful week ahead and may God continue to bless all of you as you live your lives.

Expressions...

2014-07-21T17:51:00.000+08:00

... are something that I was and will probably never be good at. This might be the reason why I prefer to write about how I feel rather than talk to someone else about them. Please do not get the wrong idea that I don't trust my family or friends with what I have to say, rather I'm afraid to show how vulnerable I am deep inside. It also doesn't help that sometimes I tend to think too much when I'm bored. As the saying goes, an idle mind is the Devil's playground and I agree with it. Thoughts just start popping out of nowhere and I'll just stray from it every single time and whenever I do, it always ends up being the worst-case scenario. No doubt that it's good to be prepared at times for the worst but at times when we think too much, our thoughts and assumptions hurt us much more than how the real outcome will. As time passes, these feelings are brought forward and they snowball downwards ultimately causing an avalanche that will swallow you up for God-knows-how-long. I'm really afraid that I can't hold on much longer and hope that this week will pass sooner so that I can get over what I need to and I also know it's not fair to ask why is this happening to me when there are others more unfortunate than I am, especially the victims of the airplane fiasco. I can only hope that God will continue to grant me strength for the next 3 days. That's all I'm asking for. Then I promise I'll be back to my normal self. I noticed that this issue has troubled me to the point where I can't even play like how I used to in all the games that I normally immerse myself in. If you're reading this, do you no see how much you really mean to me?

Confusion or Illusion

2014-06-08T22:59:00.001+08:00

I lie awake at night thinking about what might happen next. Will things turn out the way I hope it would be or the way they ought to be? I can't really tell because there is a mixture of both positives and negatives. Until a definite one reveals itself, I'm still stuck in limbo. Honestly speaking, this feeling is the one I despise most. The inability to plan my next move or predict what happens consequently. Some of you may think that I'm a control-freak but in my point of view, I just don't want to make a mistake that I might regret later on. If any of my friends are reading this, they will almost immediately label me as a hypocrite as I'm usually the one who promotes learning from mistakes but I can't seem to bring myself to do it this time around. I've already put it all that I have and the stakes are just too high for me to just risk the 50%. At this point, I guess I can only wait, pray and hope for the best. I hope I get my timing right the next time around.

Giving Up

2014-03-04T23:09:00.000+08:00

Recently, I came across a very interesting phrase in a book that I’m currently trying to finish. It goes “Sometimes, it is infinitely harder to live than to die.” As much as I hate to admit it, what he wrote is really the stone cold truth of the world today in which only the strong survive. This is the reason why some individuals eventually succumb to the intense pressure and give up halfway by taking what they presume is the “best” way out. As a matter of fact, suicide is actually, what most of us would definitely agree, a cowardly and irresponsible act. While it is definitely easy for you to just jump off a 9-storey building or to go into eternal sleep thanks to pills or even jump in front of moving truck, life doesn’t just come to a full-stop for those who are around you. They’re the ones who will have to pick up the pieces, be it literally or figuratively, and they’ll be the ones who will have to bear the responsibilities that you choose to leave behind. However, I believe and sincerely hope that none of you who are reading this are contemplating on carrying out such a horrendous act. I’m actually here to give my two-cents on the stage before getting to the point of no return which is “giving up”. As a teenager, I’ve come across quite a number of situations which were quite difficult to overcome at some point but I do not dare to claim that I’ve seen them all. Some of you might have probably experienced far worse than I could ever imagine and I pray that you manage to find strength to deal with them. Occasionally, when I find myself stuck with a problem that I can’t find a way around, I tend to just sit and shut down. As positive as I may seem on the outside, it should not be surprising that even I have negative thoughts racing through my noggin in trying times. I usually end up with statements like, “What’s the purpose of doing this anyway? Even those better than me have tried and failed, what more about me?” or “Just give up. It wouldn’t make much of a difference after all.” It is only until I recall a very inspirational story that I pick myself back up and continue to try and break through the barrier that’s blocking my path at that particular moment. If you don’t mind reading, let me share that story with you.

A man was walking along a beach one day when the tide of the ocean was at its lowest and he saw that at least thousands of starfishes had been washed ashore. He continued along his way until he came across a little boy and was fascinated by the boy’s actions. Instead of playing with the starfishes like how most kids would, the boy was actually took one, returned it into the water and repeated his actions with each starfish that he picked up. The man sneered at his childish thinking and tried to discourage the boy by telling him that there were at least a few thousand of them on the beach and that it would not make difference. The boy continued on with his activity quietly and after returning the starfish that he was holding in his hands into the water, he turned to the man and said, “Well, sir, I’m sure I made a difference for that little guy.”

It’s entirely up to you what moral lesson(s) you’d want to pick out from that story. For me, it was “Do not give up trying to solve whatever problem you’re facing even when people around you are telling you that you can’t do it.” Some of them are afraid that they might lose out to you if you manage to achieve what they couldn’t, which is why they try the best they can to get you onto the bandwagon so that you can be just like them. Many successful people in the world have failed but they eventually end up at the top of the ladder just because they chose to give their all instead of giving it all up even when those surrounding them decided to ditch them in times of need. Ultimately, you will be the one who decides if you’ll be at the bottom, middle or top rung. Never let others decide what’s best for you because at the end of the day, you are the pilot of your plane and not the passenger of your own flight through life.

The Start of a New Year

2014-01-04T12:37:00.001+08:00

Forgive me, my friends, for I have not been constantly updating this ol' corner of mine. Never-ending tests/ assessments, social life (not as developed as you would think) and also the temptations of video games are probably the main culprits that drew me away from doing one of my favourite activities which is writing. Hence, since it's 2014, I shall come up with an update before I procrastinate once more. Since the last time I posted something here, there'd been many things that I've experienced and gone through and maybe I shall keep the last 2 months of 2013 brief.

Things that I've done:
- Went to the Avicii live concert in Sepang (courtesy of my generous friend who gave me a free VIP pass)
- Attended my uni's Annual Dinner and also performed with 5 of my friends (I believe we did very nicely, ladies please take a number and get in line if you wanna get to know any one of them)
- Had a Christmas open house back in Melaka (hope those of you who went enjoyed yourselves with the songs and food)
- Secret Santa with my group of friends (some sort of a gift exchange game in conjunction with Christmas)
- Also, the Big Bad Wolf book sale where I wouldn't say it was good neither bad since I managed to buy a few good books

~~Things that I didn't do:~~
~~- Study and get good grades~~
~~- Constant exercise~~

Overall, I would say that 2013 wasn't exactly bad to me. Ups and downs are part and parcel of any individual's life and I don't think any one of us have the right to complain about our lives unless you don't have a roof over your head/ scavenging for leftovers to eat/ wearing discarded cloth. Maybe some of you experienced the loss of a loved one(s) or just had a really rough 365 days but do not dismay. As cliche as it sounds, God has His reasons so trust in Him that He'll make everything right for you in due time. For the meantime, carpe diem is the phrase to hold on to. For those of you who are scratching your head/ flipping through a dictionary/ attempting to type it in Google, the phrase simply means "seize the day" or in other words, live as though there's no tomorrow. However, please do not go into full #YOLO mode after reading what I've said. Living as though there's no tomorrow in my opinion is that we make full use of the time that's given to us to make ourselves and people around us happy. I hope that we've all had our fair share of good and bad and that we would make examples out of them so that we can find ways to perhaps improve ourselves. As for 2014, do your best and God will handle the rest. Aiming for a good grade? Study hard for it. Want to be fit and healthy? Get your butt out of the chair or bed, go outside and sweat it out. Got a crush? Less thinking, more talking/action (I said less not zero. Doing something without thinking is never wise). Then comes the trivial stuff in life that might affect our moods from time to time but I believe most of you know the meaning of que sera sera which translates to "whatever will be, will be". Pray that all of you will enjoy the first weekend of the new year. For me, it's just going to be playing games and finishing the book that I've started on a few days back. Have a nice day and God bless, folks.

I never knew....

2013-11-06T23:24:00.001+08:00

....or rather I chose not to know that a day without gaming would actually lead to so much satisfaction. After 3 years of absence from writing essays, I have finally completed one which I would say it's not too bad, considering I haven't been writing anything noteworthy at all except my blog posts. If you're interested in reading it, you can do so by click this. If not, and you're just here to see if I have anything to rant about, you're in luck because I do. Internet service sucks today but if it wasn't for the downtime, I wouldn't have been able to complete something that I've always wanted to start. My friends were asking me before why I stopped writing like how I used to pre-SPM and post-SPM till a certain point. My answers were always the same. It's either I'm busy with my books or my games, with the latter taking up at least 2/3 of the time that I have in a day. So yeah, maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Other than that, I would say that things are all fine for now. Nothing much happened (as usual) and I guess it'll stay like that if I continue to feel contented with my lifestyle. Sooo, I guess that'll be all? Haha. Good night, folks.

PS: After spending time writing, typing rather, 2.5k words, I hope you'd understand why my blog post is so short. Haha.

When your best friend leaves you...

2013-09-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

.... it feels as if a part of your life is being taken away from you (although in reality he'll only be gone for a year). That's right. My comrade, brother-in-arms, accomplice, partner-in-crime (and whatever synonyms you may care to add) is leaving for the UK to further his studies in the field of engineering. Ever since he broke the news to me, I hoped that today will never come (selfish as I may sound) and that we could spend the remaining time playing ball together or so but alas, our schedules seemed to clash and even till today when I wanted to send him off, something urgent came up (I still went to see him, mind you). I'm really sorry that the CD was the most I could do for now but I wish you, from the very bottom of my heart, all the best in your studies in a foreign land. Pray that you'll be able to achieve what you dream of, bring back someone to introduce to us (preferably not a he) and also stay like how you are now instead of changing into someone that we may no longer recognise and associate ourselves with. I'm afraid that I can't write much in this post due to the fact that I can't even construct a proper sentence now because of all them feels. Please take good care of yourself there and I wish that the next time I meet you, we get to see eye-to-eye eh? Hehehe. Adios for now, hermano. Till I see you again in a year's time as day 1 of basketball without you starts as of now. Chiao man!

I fear...

2013-09-01T01:09:00.001+08:00

... that I will eventually turn into the man that I despise to be. In just a week's time, I have seen how 2 men transform a noble profession that has existed for thousands of years into a selfish and inconsiderate occupation. A week back, I brought a family member who was feeling ill due to a simple case of indigestion to the nearest hospital as he was complaining of how the discomfort was preventing him from falling asleep thus making his life miserable. Concerned, I immediately rushed him there and while the nurse was attending to him, I was paying close attention to how she took down the details and reminded myself that I will be just like her in the near future. After getting the necessary information, she then passed the case to the doctor who was in-charge that night to look into the case and come up with a solution for it. As usual, the patient goes in and complains about his/her problems while the doctor listens attentively while his/her brain constantly works out what probably went wrong in arguably nature's most complex system. I totally get it when the expert starts suggesting that it could be the food, activity or maybe come up with some treatment that involves drugs that I haven't heard of (mind you, I'm still in uni). What I didn't understand that night was when the doctor insisted that my family member should perform a heart test when he's just having indigestion. Look, I know that some bacteria could spread here, there, yada yada yada but if that was the case, we wouldn't be in the outpatient department waiting for you to dispense some more effective painkillers than the general aspirin or panadol. Why can't the donkey just give whatever was needed and stop there and then? Why the extra tests or even medication? Simple. He's probably trying to squeeze every possible coin out of his ailing patient so that he could fill up his pocket and also his bulging stomach. In the end when the receipt was issued to us, the figure at the bottom that was neatly underlined came close to almost 3 meals in the Starhill Gallery and not just any 3 meals, 3 freaking meals in Jogoya without any promotion or discount. That's how much the nincompoop charged us for consultation + the unnecessary test + Gaviscon (which I could have just bought for 30 bucks in Guardian/Caring/Watson's). Now if this incident wasn't enough to tick me off, we'll fast forward to today where my brother got involved in an accident with me sitting beside him. He probably knocked whatever was left of the poor man's balls off the motorcycle when they collided. I haven't seen such a scared look in a man who just got hit. He was instantly checking his limbs, fingers and face even though I kept reassuring him that everything was fine and in place and also insisting that I take him to the nearest clinic to clean up the scratches/scrapes on his hand and a bruise on his face. Thank God that he had his helmet on otherwise it wouldn't be a doctor's consultation that I would have to attend. Anyway, I quickly ushered him into my car and rushed him to any clinic that I could find and fortunately, there was one that opened their doors even on a public holiday. I brought the uncle to the receptionist and told them that it was an emergency for the uncle to be looked at since he just got involved in a collision (his head was lying under someone's front bumper, mind you). I was relieved to see that they immediately got to him before I even took a seat but what happened next really made my blood boil. After they brought the uncle into the consultation room, I chose to sit directly outside where I could see him to see what happens next and how the doctor would handle the case. He just casually strolled in from the other room and took a look at the poor uncle who was still bleeding a little from his hand. As a doctor, no wait, scratch that. As a human being, the first thing that we do when we see an injured fellow is to help him even my friend who isn't doing medicine knows that. Isn't it common sense that you would try to stop the bleeding and also the pain before moving on to further discussion? Not in this numbskull's case. He asked the uncle who brought him to the clinic and when he saw I was sitting outside, he asked if I wanted to give the uncle the "treatment". Naturally, I was confused when he asked me that because in my mind, there's only one way to handle this case which was to clean his wound, apply some antiseptic and you're already 75-80% done. What's left would probably be to give some antibiotics to prevent an infection and the cream to reapply when it wears off but NO. He had to ask a myriad of questions like what do I have in mind, who was the doctor there, was I the doctor, was he the doctor and all that crap. Why can't he just bloody explain what he's planning to do instead of just telling me that he wants to give the uncle "treatment"? Moreover, he even had the cojones to tell the uncle that I refused any form of medication for him because I questioned what was about to be given. Infuriated, I just agreed to his "treatment" and waited for the uncle to get out of there so that I could settle the bill and get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. I swore to myself that I will never patronise that clinic anymore in my life and I vowed to never walk the same path as these two sidekicks. My friend even told me that if he knew that I turned out to be that way, he would jab me in the kisser until I come to my senses and turn the other way. Other than that, I guess I'm just glad that nothing serious happened to that uncle or else I wouldn't be calmly sitting here ranting my heart out.

PS: Jeffrey Archer's Sons of Fortune book is a good one and I would suggest that if you haven't read it, you should (not that I'm paid for any form of advertisement). Till then, good night readers.

My personal opinions on certain issues

2013-08-06T00:50:00.001+08:00

To start things off, I would like to say that my blog is actually a place for me to say out what is going or went through my mind/ rant/ record important parts of my life. For example, I just came back from Redang and it's definitely going to be a memory and experience that I will cherish for life. People usually ask, what makes a trip so enjoyable? For some, it would be the location itself, the view, the food or probably the room (if you know what I'm trying to say) but as cliché as it sounds, it was the company that I was with that became the icing on the cake. Words cannot express nor quantify the amount of fun and laughter that I had for 4 days. That's right, I even enjoyed the most mundane part of the trip which was the journey itself (although I was asleep most of the time). Jokes (be it clean or dirty ones), insults (sorry if I went overboard with some) and also pranks contributed to every drop of entertainment throughout the vacation. As for the island itself, I only have a few things to say about it. Personally, I never really took a liking to beaches because the apparently "famous" beach in Melaka isn't as pretty as people would think it is. The sand is coarse, water's dirty and brown and the fishes are probably those that you wouldn't take a second look at. However, the moment we reached the island's seaside, I immediately fell in love with it. The sea is so clean and blue that I could see that it is teeming with marine life whereas the sand is smooth and pleasant to walk on. I must say that of all the activities that we had, I enjoyed snorkelling the most although some of us got cut when we stepped or held on to the sharp edges of the reef, but nevertheless, it was the best in my opinion (I got to see a baby shark swim in front of me so I'm not going to care about what you're going to say about snorkelling, heh). Moving on to the other matter that I would like to talk about (this might probably hurt or anger some of you), I do not see the point of snapping 100-200 photos while on a trip. Do you not think that your brain has enough memory for you to lock away all the important memories that you would want to keep and cherish? Why the excessive amount of photos then? If the number was below a hundred or so, I wouldn't be so bothered by it and to be honest, most of the photos are repetitive/redundant. If you're going to take a picture of yourselves doing the same pose in just a different location, I would suggest Adobe Photoshop CS6 or iPhoto (not that I'm paid for any form of advertisement). Also, don't try the evidence crap with me. If a person is going to ask you where you went to or what you did or who did you go out with or when did you go and still asks for evidence in a form of a picture, kindly ask that person to go straight to hell. It is a silly thing to do if you want to know about someone's experience and yet not take his/her word for it. However, after saying all these, I want to clarify that I'm not against photography. I like it as an art or whatever you people consider it to be but I hate photography in excess because it wastes time and that is what annoys me the most. Another thing that I do not understand is how some people are so adamant on stick to their race's products. For instance, a group of race A friends decided to go on a trip to a place where people of race B make up the majority of the citizens there. The logical thing to do, in my honest and frank point of view, would be to try out the food, learn the culture and/or mingle with the people there but you know what the group of friends decided upon? They chose to visit a food stall which is run by people of race A and eat what they always could back where they came from. Don't you think that's a dumb thing to do? If everyone were to think that way, our country will never move forward and although you feel and perhaps consider your race to be superior to the other, it isn't healthy for unity and it's only going to make muddy waters muddier. This is coming from a guy who was a well-known racist among his friends back when he was in high school and look at what he's saying now. I love my country and I wish to see it progress like how other countries are but if only 2 or 3 out of 10 are going to say the same thing, I dare say that the future looks bleak and we can all wait to be treated like we're in the stone age by the tourists that'll be visiting our country (that is if anybody even wants to come to a country that is in a state of regression). At the end of all these, I would want to once again remind you that these are only my opinions and I do not want to impose anything onto anyone. If you're going to rage over what I said and flame me, that's your choice but I sincerely wish you do not do so as I wouldn't want to strain any relationships because of what I think and say. To end things nicely, here's probably the nicest picture I could find that fits everyone who went to Redang with me. Till next time, readers! :)

Feeling mortal

2013-06-08T20:36:00.004+08:00

As per the heading above, I am feeling exactly that right now. Nothing's clicking at all. My day sucks, I can't concentrate and my shots aren't falling like how they should be. All probably because of this damn flu that I'm having but an interesting thought struck me as I went through my Saturday like how I usually do. Since I don't get sick often (in fact, it's the first time this year), I don't know how it's like to feel so feeble/vulnerable/helpless/weak. It's like a minute you feel like Superman and the next, you're like any other normal person, susceptible to any sort of malady. Your invincibility pulled out from right under your feet by some microscopic being that just wants to see you suffer for the fun of it. Perhaps this is God's way of telling me that, hey, you're not the one in charge here and you need to know that you only have control over life for just so much. Guess I better get a proper rest tonight otherwise I'll have to carry on like this until my supply of vitamins come from home via my dad. As for other matters, I wonder what goes through my friends' minds throughout the day. It's always interesting to know what or who people are thinking about when they're alone. Good night, guys.

What I thought and have been thinking..

2013-05-18T00:46:00.000+08:00

... for the past few days is that how am I going to spend the rest of my 4 years of uni life before I start working. Should I enjoy myself before I start the dreaded housemanship or should I study my butt off to get the first-class honours that my parents believe so much that I'm able to? Once again, decisions, decisions and more decisions. It's the little things in life which you chose that will, in the end, snowball into a larger picture where you'll sometimes regret but also take pride in throughout the ironically long journey of a short life. Another thing would be my personal character. I do realise that some aspects of my personality and character that has to change and I'm doing what I can to stop. Before I got into uni, refraining myself from using excessive flowery words weren't a problem for me but as uni life went on, I found myself (rather, Terence noticed) that I was back to where I started while I was in high school. I shrugged off his comment at first, telling myself that hey, when you're frustrated, it's better to turn to other stuff like cigarettes and alcohol but then I knew that I still ran away from the problem instead of tackling it straight on so I decided to give it another go to see if I could stop it. I can proudly say that I managed to reduce it significantly and I could go on without saying it for a day or two (only applies when I'm not overly-grumpy)which leads me to this. I wasn't exactly in my usual mood for the past two days because I didn't get enough sleep. Coupled together with the fact that I went to the gym on Tuesday and basketball yesterday, it was really enough to knock me out. Hence, there I was glaring at people who annoyed me even just a little bit which I would normally ignore. One of my friend who wasn't really close to me just came up and asked me whether if I was OK today and what was troubling me. I just smiled and told him everything was fine (when it was not since I was sleepy the whole day). I guess I'll just leave it as that. Next on the list, I feel guilty making this decision earlier today. When your parents tell you that it's OK for you to not go home, you know that they don't really mean what they say deep down in their hearts. I'm really sorry that I had to make that decision because I'm currently held back with my exams around the corner (and also with my piling laundry). It's been quite a while since I stayed away from home for more than 3 weeks considering that I'm usually back every fortnight but I guess some things might change a little over time. These are the few issues that, I think, demand the most attention both physically and mentally from me. I'll most probably just take a little time off to get it all sorted out, then I'll be back to normal again. It's like a period for my down-time where I need to keep things in check to make sure I don't try to lead a larger-than-life behaviour. Before signing off, I think I'll add something which I told my friend back then. "What God has planned for you will be given for you. Even the birds do not worry when their next meal will be or where they will stay for the night so why should you? God has already provided for you and all that is left for you to do, is to place your trust in Him and live according to His will." Good night.

Prejudice and judgement

2013-05-05T01:39:00.000+08:00

I had an interesting conversation earlier today and I hope you readers would bear with me for a moment in this post as I'm just going to give my two cents on what these two words mean to me. As you all know, prejudice can lead to misunderstandings at times just because we do not like that particular person's face, personality, character and even at extreme cases, their way of walking (no kidding). Personally, I feel that at times when I meet new people in my environment and it just suddenly strikes me that hey, I'm gonna avoid/ignore/walk away from this fellow. Reasons are most probably going to be "he's not a good guy", "won't be a good friend", "backstabber" and in my case, a "sohai" according to what my friends initially thought of me when I walked into class the very first day but look where are we now. We're a group of friends who hang out frequently, playing games, basketball, going for movies and such. What if the person that you think would not suit or be good for you actually would be an asset to you? I don't mean to say this in a self-centred type of way but to me, friends are lifelong assets that will never deplete in value and having more will never hurt. Even though we grow apart as time flows, our friends will still be a part of us be it in good or bad times. So what is my point here? What I'm trying to say is that, screw what your initial impressions are. People with a good first impression can end being jerks and vice versa once you start to know them better. Believe me, I used to avoid one or two of my best friends back when I was in high school and college but alas, they ended up being my closest comrades when I needed them most (I'm grateful for it, OK). It is until when you are sure that the said individual will not be able to get along with you and has shown his true colours, then you take the necessary action to either ditch him, ignore him or even possibly considering high-fiving him...in the kisser. As of now, I try not to do what I mentioned earlier and sometimes, what I think of people could be also what they think of me. Maybe I'm the one who's supposed to change and be better before I expect more from the other. Now we come to judgement. Honestly speaking, we're not in the position to pass judgement onto people whenever we deem necessary but that's what I think. There are people who think that they're naturally placed higher above the others and would go about telling people what their mistakes are and such but hey, I'm just going to live my life and make sure I don't follow them in doing so. By judging people, you're reminding them of their flaws instead of their strengths and you're just going to dig a deeper hole for them to stay in. How do you expect someone to improve that way? Sure, you're going to tell me that oh, by knowing their mistakes they'll learn and correct it. True but not if you keep shoving it into their face when they're trying to correct it. It's like restarting a download over and over again just because it's at 1kbps (I do that all the time that's why I used this analogy :P). Accept people for who they are. If you think that you're perfect, go ahead but nobody else admits that they are. We all acknowledge that we're only human and there's a saying for this situation. To err is human but to forgive, divine. Take what I have to say with a pinch of salt. It's totally up to you to decide on how would you want to treat others in the future. It's going to be your friends, your surroundings and your life. Not mine. I'm just typing this out based on my own experience and thoughts. If anyone of you are thinking that someone might have provoked my thoughts by saying something or whatever it is, it's not. I have been thinking about this thing for some time and I finally fought through my laziness to key my thoughts into this now-filled page. Think about it, readers. Would you want people to give you a taste of your own medicine? I think not.

Trip with friends

2013-04-28T20:47:00.000+08:00

As I type my thoughts into this soon-to-be filled page, all that has happened during the weekends continues to flash in my mind. The weekend started off on a Friday with the 5 of us taking a bus back to Melaka and staying for the weekends as planned. When we reached later that evening, I brought my friends for some satay celup as promised and when we were happy with our supper, I drove them home and decided to call it a day so that we would be energised for a full Saturday. Initially, we wanted to go up to St. Paul's Hill at 7 a.m but due to the rain, I wrote a note to tell the girls to go back to sleep but it didn't go through. They eventually got up and since my mum was already awake and going to the park, they chose to tag along and also come back with a picture of me swimming in the park's pond (me being a monitor lizard). When I finally woke up, I went to talk with my mum about a few things and also discussed with my friends about the agenda we had for the day. After everything was agreed upon, we headed off to the crocodile farm with more teasing that we were off to visit my friends at the farm. It was fun (for me, mostly) to look at the crocodiles lying around lazily with their mouths wide open as I read the information that were displayed about the various species of crocs and not to mention the birds in the aviary (one which nearly pecked the hell out of me) and also the surprisingly active tortoises and snakes. We had our late breakfast at the Huang Chang Chicken Rice Ball restaurant (I just learned of it's new name) and the girls were satisfied with the taste of the dish that only the state of Melaka can boast about. Then we went to St. Paul's Hill around 11 a.m and wasted some time looking for a legitimate parking space. I felt bad that the girls had to walk under the hot sun just because I forgot to bring along an umbrella and that resulted in getting one of them sick which spoiled the rest of her trip (sorry...). After they were done with taking pictures of the scenery (actually themselves), we strolled to the Stadhuys, took some more pictures there and then they insisted that they would like to follow me into my high school to have a look at it. I was reluctant at first since it was an all-boys' school and their presence would generally and definitely cause the heads of the students to turn and also whistle. In the end, I brought them in, got the reaction I expected but met one of the teachers that I really hoped to meet. While I was climbing up the stairs, reliving my schooling years as a student who was going to class, I spotted Mr. Yong walking back to his car and my first reaction....

MR. YONG!!! *waves hands frantically

I immediately rushed down the stairs to greet him as if meeting an old friend. He was so taken aback, he ran into his car, locked the door and stayed in it for a good minute before getting out of it and talked to me before leaving for home. I was in such a good mood that day especially after knowing that my alma mater has been renovated with a new coat of paint, new rooms and also refurbished ones. Coconut shake was next on the list so we traveled to Klebang where the stall was located and had a refreshing cup each. When we sipped the last drop, the girls chose to go back home to rest till dinner. Ironically, earlier that morning, they told me that they would like to be out the whole day and that they won't be tired of walking as they might want to make full use of the time there. However...

Hi, girls! :D (I promised to upload it but not in Facebook, hehe)

Terence came over later that day and I introduced my best friend to the four of them. The both of us, together with my brother, went out to throw a frisbee around which would later end up in someone else's house and then we balled for an hour or so (sorry Foo, I should have gone to Yok Bin). When we finished playing, I asked Terence to go in for a drink and sat outside in the backyard, fooling with the camera of his new Lumia 920 where we produced our most retarded picture of 2013.

HAY

Unfortunately for all of us, we found out that one of the girls fell sick and started throwing up. My parents advised her to go out for some fresh air, which the four of them later did by taking a stroll around the housing area. Terence left around 7 p.m. and I quickly went up to take a shower so that we could leave for some delicious 'ikan bakar' that I told the girls I would bring them for. Since my friend still wasn't feeling well, she decided to skip going to Jonker's street with us which left only 3 of us as another went back to celebrate her father's birthday. We spent some time looking at the merchandise along the street and also had dessert with an acquaintance before going back home after a long day. When we got back, I was told that my friend was already feeling better than before so I thought basketball at 7 the following morning would sound like a good idea. It was fortunate that I did not decide to hit the sack immediately after getting home as she suddenly became sick again and had to be rushed to a clinic to ease the pain from all the vomiting and dehydration. It was already 1.30 at that time and everyone was bushed after going through so much. Coupled together with the fact that the doctor himself wasn't helping by not explaining what was wrong, we went back in a slightly foul mood. I chose to sleep in the living room just in case I was needed in an emergency as I do not expect my friends to climb 3 flights of stairs in the dark just to wake me up and I do not think I would be able to answer my phone when I'm fast asleep with my phone at the other end of the room. However, after sleeping on the couch and waking up with sweat due to the excess warmth, I realised that I would have to go through this sooner or later and it might as well be an experience now so that I can prepare myself for later. I was very happy to hear that she's feeling much better in the morning and after coming back from church, we made our way back to our hostel by bus and train and reached safely. Overall, I would say that I've picked up valuable experience with and about my friends that I would not be able to just by going through our daily routine in classes. I look forward to future trips with them and the rest who were not able to join us as I believe we'll be able to strengthen our friendship in this manner. Hasta la vista, readers! :D

A new place

2013-04-23T19:39:00.003+08:00

Finally, my move has become a reality. After some proper thinking, I decided to opt for a change of room and my application was successful. Once the additional payment was settled, I quickly went to collect the key to my new room (which is as dusty as hell) and started shifting all of my belongings over with the help of my kind brethren, Kelvin, Shuh Liang and even Weng Hoe who had a class to attend in 20 minutes. I'm really grateful for the assistance that was offered to me as I honestly don't think I could move so much within an hour. When it was all done, my parents came over to pick me up and rushed to the Sime Darby hospital in Subang Jaya to visit my ailing aunt who went into a critical stage last night. Hopefully she'll be fine and that God will grant her a speedy recovery. Then we went shopping for some housekeeping utilities and necessities for my new room to ensure that it won't smell like some pigsty. When everything was paid for and we were happy with our purchase, cleaning the room was next on the to-do list. I felt bad that my family had to be involved with the cleaning as I could manage it myself although it would have taken me quite some time but nevertheless, it's my responsibility to ensure the cleanliness of my own room. Once again, I'm blessed to have my room all cleaned up in a jiffy, much thanks to my dad, mum and brother. Feeling satisfied with our work, we then left for Jaya One to take advantage of the latest promotion from Starbucks and rewarded ourselves with a large cup of coffee each followed by a hearty meal in Old Town which left all of us practically stuffed. To sum it all up, I'm really thankful to God for He has sent these people to aid me in my time of need and I will not forget your kind deeds. Thanks,guys. :'D

I need a break...

2013-03-28T22:36:00.002+08:00

...from all these feels. I can only think of one Malay proverb which strikes me the hardest now. Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya akan jatuh ke tanah juga. Why this proverb is because I've never felt so low since God knows when. I'm usually the person who smiles the most, laughs the most, jokes around and acting all cheerful but recently, I can't even hide my emotions that I've been able to mask for most of the times. I don't see the need to have feelings of suspicion, doubt, loneliness and insecurity but hey, I'm only human and there's only so much that I can tolerate and bottle up. Speak to someone, people would tell me but I just can't seem to do it because all this while, I'm self-sufficient as my friend said about this morning and one of the reasons why I behave the way I do is because my friends already have their problems to deal with. They don't need to listen and be troubled with mine as well. I know that sometimes it's not easy to give up time to listen to someone empty what they feel to you and I'm no different. If I were to tell of my worries and doubts to my friends, who knows when will they get sick of my endless complaints. So instead of ranting, I decide to be happy instead. Let the other me, who's usually in the room alone, deal with these matters. Characteristically speaking, I'm the same person wherever I go. It's just that I don't show myself frowning and scowling whenever I'm around my friends. Enough of that and moving on to the next thing that made me feel even lower was that I did not perform up to my own expectations due to overconfidence. Sometimes I envy those who're able to stay at the top consistently. How do they manage to not feel overconfident about themselves and continue to work so hard like they always do? Where do they get the motivation to do so? I tried motivating myself with various things and it always seems to fail within a few days time. Maybe I should deprive myself of something and work for it but that's the problem, I have never been deprived of my needs and although I have strong willpower, it's never strong enough to keep me going on for the rest of my revision. At least tonight, I did what I had to. Cleared any doubt or misunderstanding that may have happened throughout the few months. It is really a relief to get this off my shoulders and I feel that I'm able to breathe and sleep properly now. I'm really sorry if I disappointed you or hurt you in any way possible but believe me I did what I had to in order to preserve what would be better for us in the long run. It'll be painful for both of us if things went wrong and it won't be easy to find another good friend like you so I hope you'd understand my reasons. I think this is all I have to say for now and I hope that if any of you are reading this, I hope I have answered your questions on why am I behaving the way I am for the past few weeks. Good night, guys.

Nottingham 3 on 3 Tournament

2013-03-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

So as some of you might have known, I participated in the Nottingham 3 on 3 Basketball Tournament with my ball buddies Terence and Wei Nen. Going into the competition, we knew that we did not stand a chance to go through to the semi-finals but hey, the experience was worth the money. Improving together as a team, strengthening our bonds and understanding each other better is of the essence and I know that this won't be the last tournament that we'll be taking part in. I'm just gonna skip to the interesting part where the tournament starts instead of trying to add extra details of how I got there and what we did prior to the event. The day started with a match against team Triple Knight which we all agreed we lost because of a mismatch. Since we were at a size and height disadvantage (which plays quite a big role in a game of basketball) coupled together with the fact that I couldn't even sink a jumpshot from the start to the finish, we couldn't really recover from their lead and lost by 3. Demoralised, we went off to grab a bite and went back later to watch the same team go up against another from our group. To our surprise, the players from Triple Knight were actually much better than we thought they were and trashed the other team by 4-5 points. Happy that we played terrific defense on our end, we went on to our second match which was against the Elites. Another loss was added to our team as a result of a lot of mistakes that we wouldn't and shouldn't have committed. Immediately after the whistle was blown to signify the end of the second match, we were fired up to take the last one to save our image as manly men who would not go down without a fight (cheyy). In the last match, frankly speaking I wasn't very confident that we could win it because my matchup was at least 30 kilograms heavier than I am. I had to stop him from scoring right under the basket but luckily for us, Terence finally showed up to play. He sank all of his shots and we were able to win the game by 1. Wei Nen did a very good job on defense, blocking the opponent thus lowering their confidence and I was able to keep my guy to only 1 point in the entire match. So in the end, we were eliminated from the tournament with a win/loss of 1/2. Nevertheless, we weren't discouraged as we were the youngest team to play in the Open category where most of the players were at least 22-29 while Terence, Wei Nen and I are just 20, 19, 20 (19, 18, 19 considering we haven't had our birthdays yet) respectively. I guess all we're going to do is just keep practising, practising and practising to get better and stronger. I know we'll all be able to do it as long as our passion for basketball continues to "shine bright like a diamond" (lol, pardon me for inserting that lame line).

Me, Wei Nen, Terence and Wah Sheng

PS: I saw a black guy dunk on someone. DAMN THAT FEELING WAS AWESOME! :D

MAHSA DoTA Tournament 2013

2013-03-10T15:47:00.000+08:00

First of all, I would, once again, like to express my gratitude and thanks to my fellow colleagues for making this event a major success. Could tell that all of the participants came and enjoyed taking part in all the exhilarating clashes between teams of various skills. Although I, we, couldn't be part of the tournament competitively, we got we aimed for which was to foster relationships between strangers and also enhance friendships between teammates. Anyway, the major event started at 7.45 (7.30 actually but I woke up late with Yan Zhi anxiously asking me to get my butt out of bed) and then we went to the venue to set up the place. Arranging the tables, chairs, preparing the computers that were to be used by the participants and also the seating arrangements for the teams. 30 minutes later, we were clear to go and teams started turning up one by one and registered themselves for the battles that were about the ensue (cheyy). The matches started at 10 as planned and as they went on, the rest of the teams that were not involved watched eagerly from the outside as they saw lone heroes being picked off, towers fall, an entire team being wiped off from the face of the map and Ancients being obliterated. As the day went on, more and more matches were completed and the last 4 qualified teams entered the semi-finals with hopes of winning the grand prize of RM 150 (which isn't as grand as you think, but hey, we're just students). In the end, one team emerged victorious and dominated all its other adversaries without even dropping a single game. Never before have we seen such teamwork, precise timings in casting their skills and combos and also their determination in finishing off their opponents. While they celebrated their victory, their worthy opponents looked dejected and disappointed by their effort to clinch the deciding match. Nevertheless, both teams showed encouraging sportsmanship by thanking each other for the action-packed finals and also shaking hands before they left the game room to claim the spoils of victory. When all was over, we shifted everything back to its original place as we were expected to and then headed off for a mouth-watering, stomach-filling and value-for-money dinner. The feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction in a single day. I guess there's nothing more I can ask for in just a single day of hard work. Till next time, amigos!

The almost-complete organising team of MDT 2013

4/3/2013

2013-03-04T23:31:00.003+08:00

I don't even know what title to put for my posts anymore. It's like I've run out of proper titles or, or, or, it's just any other normal day to me, besides the fact that I've spent at least a quarter of the day out of campus. A lot of things have been going through my mind lately and even I don't know what to focus on or which to solve first (guys, go figure). Never mind that, let's talk about my experiences today. So I joined my friends for bowling / Snowflake / shopping for a lock and yeah, it was as I expected and I also got to know a bit of what it felt to be torn between places. You want to be back home but you can't. I'm not going to name names here, so if you know who I'm talking about, just keep it to yourselves. All I can do for this person is pray that everything will turn out fine and the storm will pass as soon as it arrived. Other than the activities we did today, I guess it's just like any other normal day. Coming back, lazing in front of the screen, chatting with my friends, doing a bit of work here and there (surprising, I know) and then once again, back to the screen. If any of you are wondering about my latest Facebook update, yes, it's about my roommate and I honestly can't think of that many things to tell my future son or daughter. Dude, you've got to be kidding me. Unless you're running some major billionaire business or involved in your mum's or dad's decisions in their daily lives or your parents want to know what you've been doing and doing and will be doing for the next 3 hours, I don't think they've a valid reason to call you so many times a day for so long. Even my parents know when to call and how frequent they should do so. Not that I'm jealous or being sensitive about it or whatever but what's bugging me is your behaviour when you need to answer that phone call. Getting all ninja-mode, walking out the door as if I can't see you, closing the door so silently as if you cast a Muffliato spell and walking back in after 30 minutes, do you actually think that I'm that dumb / not observant / (insert similiar words or phrases here). Just say that, "Hey, I've gotta pick up this call, excuse me." or just make it obvious that you have to do so would suffice. What's the point of staying with someone who's in the same course as you are and act so secretive as if you're protecting the CIA's intelligence source. Think about it, man. You're the one who's going to suffer in the long run, not anyone else because you act like a loner. I hope you read this one day and change that silly attitude of yours.

A poem worth sharing

2013-02-21T22:42:00.001+08:00

'If'

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

I think besides Sonnet 18 and Life's Brief Candle, this is definitely one of the few poems that I really like and will never get bored of reading it over and over again.

A place for random thoughts

2013-02-20T00:38:00.000+08:00

1. I'm not going to publicise this on Facebook because sometimes things are not meant to be read by all and they may contain words that might possibly offend another human being and the only people who'll read this are the people who will even bother to check my blog for updates (I know who you are, stalkers. You can't hide from me >:-) )
2. One-sided love is never a good thing and I hope that it isn't happening to a friend of mine and also I pray that this person will be spared of it because it's the first time this person is trying to get into a relationship. I know what it looks and feels like so trust me, if you're gonna tell me the experience is worth it, you might as well let me land a hit right on your kisser and tell me how that feels. It's almost the equivalent anyway.
3. Also referring to the point above (you know who you are), I'm just giving ourselves time so that we know what is right for ourselves and I don't want to rush into things anymore. It's better for us to wait and get to know each other better rather than running into something head on and regret later which I really feel is a foolish thing to do at this point in time. A side note though, I hope you'll be spared of anymore head-splitting pains.
4. One of these days, POW! Right to the moon. I'm starting to get annoyed with my roommate due to the fact that he's being a pain in the neck (pardon my lack of crude words here) with his self-centred, hermit-type, loner attitude. Dude, if you're going to use my computer without asking / stare at me playing games behind my back / acting as if I want to steal your stuff / pretending to walk out for fresh air when it's so damned obvious you want to answer your phone call, just wait for me to look for another room or better still, change yourself. Seriously man, how the hell do you expect to be a professional in this field if you're gonna act as if you're above everyone else or as if the world revolves around you? I'm not going to say so much and I wish you all the best in your sad and deprived life.
5. I really wish I can go back to Melaka and play ball with my usual gang :(
6. CVS is being a pain in the posterior with all the anatomical features of the heart which has so many vessels to memorise.
7. I'm fine, if any of you are planning to ask me how I'm doing and no, I'm not going to tell you who I'm talking about in point 3. Go figure that out for yourself.
8. I really hope that my exam results are OK. (fingers and toes crossed)
9. Updating your status every day seems fun at first but mind you, it becomes annoying to your friends when they're forced to see your face and your imaginary chat bubble with words beside it that have no utter use or meaning to anyone else. Not to say that it's wrong to express yourself in a public place but I'm saying please don't put the book into Facebook and let people read you for peanuts.
10. I'm sorry to have wasted your time with this post if you've read till this point. What can I say? I'm just any normal guy out in the world who finds a little comfort expressing himself in this not-so-private corner.

When being home alone-

2013-02-18T22:23:00.002+08:00

-isn't really as fun as you think it would be especially when you have a family with kids. What made me express myself in this post even with an aching body and a mild headache is the thought of someone who's currently at home. Sometimes, we think to ourselves that, "Hey, wouldn't be staying alone fun and also makes you independent?" It's true that we will turn out to be the people we think we will be, independent and all but why not we stop here and think of the person or the people the WE leave behind. I read this quote once when I was preparing my friend's gift before she left for UK and I still keep that quote in my mind till this very day and I don't plan to forget it. Let us put ourselves in our parents' shoes, for those of us who are studying away from home. Are we ready to let our kids go when the time comes? Will we be ready to give our full support when they need to be away from us for a span of 3-5 years, coming back only once or twice a year if they're abroad. Personally, no, I don't think so. Imagine yourself in a house, with your kids playing / eating / studying / talking / fighting / (insert any activity you can think here) and suddenly, they're just gone like that. How can we adapt to it so quickly when we are so accustomed to the noise / chatter that had been constantly enveloping us before our children leave us to pursue the career of their dreams. Coupled together with a situation at which your spouse has to leave you, even for a night, we immediately feel that we become so vulnerable. No one at home to protect us from harm and no one to turn to if anything comes up. This may not be the case for us guys, but what about the girls? I'm sure that not every girl can be the She-Hulk or Superwoman and even I don't dare to say the same for all of the guys. I know a few pansies who are actually incapable of living at home alone. Back to what I was saying, I heard some parents complaining that their children are always out and never come home for lunch / dinner / (whatever activity a family does together) and that they're fine without having their children at home. Stop again and think about what I'm going to say here. I may be right or wrong but it totally depends on the reader. Why they don't worry is because ultimately at the end of the day (or night, whichever you prefer) they know that their children / loved one will come home to them in one piece, safe and sound. For those with children away from home, like my parents, they will never know when will be the last time they'll see me or my brother (given that he's away temporarily now). I will never know what it's like to experience the fear they did when I got robbed at knife-point back then till I have my own children (and I certainly pray that they'll never go through that) and now I finally understand instead of brushing it off as if it was just a walk in a park. I know this may sound a little extreme but anything is possible and now, news of kidnapping / accidents / suicide / murder are all over the place and how can one's parents not think, "What if it's my child?". With this, I'll leave you all to think about what I've said here and I hope that this will shed new light on all who think that your parents are worrying too much or for those who've never experienced this before.

A much needed break

2013-02-15T17:31:00.000+08:00

Soooo... (trying to imitate MaximBady) I finally got my end-of-the-semester break pretty much a week ago and now it's all used up (~~pity me~~ yay!). I would say that it was time well-spent after celebrating Chinese New Year in Penang, where I was filling my personal coffers with all the dough I was raking in from my relatives and then heading back to Melaka to reunite once more with my classmates (to defeat the forces of evil, lol) to celebrate what was left of the New Year. Had fun, exchanged experiences and caught up with those that I'm not so privileged to meet unlike how I am with my partner-in-crime/basketball buddy Terence and Glenn. The night before yesterday, I attended a party in Gim Toong's house and managed to have a little fun although I was deadbeat from driving back from Penang and unpacking and uprooting a tree in the backyard (that's right, I'm not kidding). Initially, I was planning to skip the gathering so that I could rest and repair my already-spoilt laptop cooler in my room. Alas, Glenn and Jia Lin had to call and drove over to my place to pick me up and drag (well, not literally) me to the happening site. Granted that I was already so tired, I just sat at the corner on the swing and observed those who were around me. Fortunately for me, there were a lot of kind people around who came up to me and started conversations which I was so grateful for otherwise I would have slept there on the swing itself. Learning about another country's culture, knowing about my friends' progresses in life made me feel happy for them and at the same time for myself since I'm able to say that I'm also progressing just as much as they are. Later when everything was almost over ("almost" seemed like an overstatement since I left so much earlier than the rest) I went back so that I could sleep early and wake up in time for basketball the next morning. Took Terence 4 calls to wake me up and then we balled together with Wei Nen, my brother, Bernard and Sebastian before we went home to change and prepare for the highlight of the day which was the house visiting. Since it was decided that we would all meet at 10.30 in Teng's house, being the punctual person I always am, I turned up on the dot and was shocked to see that the house was already empty. I was beginning to think that I got the time wrongly and everyone had already moved on to the next house so I called Terence up to confirm the time and was relieved to find out that I got the time right. Then I called Teng up, only to find that he's alone at home and I'm the first to arrive =.= (well played, Malaysians). Too much to write about, too lazy to write. All I have to say about the visiting was I enjoyed every minute of it, spending time with all my friends that I hoped to meet since we left and talk to them like how we used to back in high school. Chances like this don't come easy and it's up to us to seize it (unlike a few people I know). I can only pray and hope that as years go by, all of us will not lose our Lasallian spirit and may we keep in touch till our golden years. I guess that'll be all that I have to say. Here's a picture of us gathering in Mr. Yong's house. Till next time, amigos!

'Tis been so long

2013-02-04T18:13:00.002+08:00

Heh, time actually passes so quickly even when you feel like it's crawling. Been so long since I actually updated my personal collection of thoughts and experiences here given that I didn't really have the time to do so due to the hectic schedule and the ever-bugging problem of annoyingly slow Internet connection. I've never been through so many exams in my life and this is just the beginning, mind you. I know it's not easy going through this course but hey, we could do with fewer exams, right? I do try to look on the bright side of this though as exams might be the only way to keep us (me, actually) on our toes with whatever we've learnt so far. I actually can't believe that 3-4 months back, I was dead serious on changing to another uni because I wasn't pleased with what I was promised. Now, I've come to the sudden realisation that hey, the grass is not always greener on the other side and that you can't always get everything in life. You get some, you lose some. On the contrary, I'm still envy my friends who're so privileged to enjoy such long breaks from their studies. While all of my ex-classmates are back in Melaka balling their breaks off, I'm stuck here, being a nerd that I never thought I would be (well, not really a nerd to that extent but you get what I mean) and to add salt to the injury, the longest break that I will ever have in my whole 5 years being in this university is 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS! I don't know if I'm exaggerating on the brevity of the break or my memory is failing me but the last time I saw the schedule, it was 2 weeks. Sigh... Oh well. I guess I'd best be off revising once again for my paper tomorrow. Till next time, my few-but-dear readers. :)

My Birthday

2012-11-28T23:30:00.003+08:00

As the title suggests, today is my birthday (or rather the last few hours of it). Let me start by walking you through what I experienced, during my birthday, for the first time in university life. I got up this morning at 7 and being drowsy as usual, I sat on the chair in front of my laptop and started thanking all those who wished me the night before at 12 onwards while waiting for my roommate to finish showering. When he came out, I quickly got into the bathroom and tried to shower quickly as I was kind of in a rush since I had to iron my shirt before I could put it on. After freshening up, I began ironing and when I was done, I put the shirt on and this picture depicts what it felt like wearing a shirt that just got pressed.

Anyway, my roommate and I left the room around 7.30 and headed off to the lecture theatre. When we entered, it seemed like any other ordinary day. Everyone were preoccupied with what they were doing and we just walked over to our usual seats casually. So I sat down, replying Jasmine on Whatsapp as well as a few others whom I forgot to reply through the phone. Within 10 minutes, students were pouring in through the classroom and it was beginning to fill up. More and more familiar faces began to take their seats and little did I know my friends had a surprise up their sleeves. While I was busy texting on the phone, they crept up in front of me and surrounded me in a semi-circular fashion and took out a container with a portion of banana cake in it and a hand-made card with a distinct picture of five people on a ship. Didn't really give much thought about it at that time due to the fact I was taken aback by the surprise. I expected one, mind you but not so early in the morning. I was practically begging them to do it during the free slot that we have later in the day and not in the class because (ahem) I don't really announce my birthday to the whole world. Anyway, back to the story, they ignored my pleas and just went on with their plans. I heaved a huge sigh of relieve when they just whispered "Happy Birthday" to me. I was anticipating a massive greeting and I prayed to God that they wouldn't do that and He answered my prayer. So when they accomplished what they came for, my friends returned to their seats and my friend who was sitting beside me told me to read the messages and specify who wrote which message, which I managed to do in a few moments as I recognised them either by their distinctive handwriting or language. Oh, this was a funny moment which took place when the girls wished me :-

Girls: Happy Birthday, Isaiah!
Me: Err... thank you, thank you.

Roommate: WHAT? TODAY'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?! I DIDN'T KNOW!

(yeap, you should see his reaction for the rest of the day. Priceless. For everything priceless, there's MasterCard. Not advertising for them, mind.)

After we finished our lectures for the day, I told them to wait for me at the benches as I had slices of cake that I brought back from Melaka to give them. I was so afraid that they would get food poisoning as the cake was baked and prepared on Saturday but since my mum assured me that it is still good, I gave them their share (Pearly, I really hope it isn't the cake, lol). When they were done, Aisyah shared with us what she experienced with May and Vanessa the evening yesterday. I have to admit it was pretty amusing and I just kept sniggering and laughing all the way through her story. My dad came after that to take me out for lunch and as we were contemplating to eat in some fancy restaurant or the coffee shop in SS2, we just gave in to the decision to eat at the simple coffee shop that we usually patronise whenever we go out for lunch. We didn't really have the time to talk much as I had classes at 2 and it was already 1.20 when we started eating. So we quickly gobbled our food down and then my dad dropped me off back in uni. Unfortunately for my dad, some nutjob knocked into my dad's car and now the dear Camry has a dent. :( (it's my car too, mind) Anyway, we move on to what happened later in the evening.

I was supposed to have my dinner with Mark (Zi Hong), May and my roommate but it turned out that so many people joined us for dinner. Dylan, Jason, Shuh Liang, Andy, Fatin and Aisyah came along too. Before we had our meal, I tried to contact the hell out of Mark and as expected, he was dozing away and was too asleep to bother answering his phone. So while waiting, I saw Andy, Aisyah, Fatin and May walk in through the door and I assumed that they were just going to join me for dinner. Hoo boy :-

Fatin: Isaiah, stand up.
Me: Huh? Why?
Fatin: Just stand up la.

Me: Err...Okay...

(4 of them starts singing the birthday song)

I honestly swear that they sung so loud that even my relatives in Penang could hear them. When they were in the middle of their "melody", I could feel everyone's eyes falling on me and all I wanted to do was to just find a place to hide (yeap, I'm not as bold as you think I am). I was glad that when they were done, I could return to my seat and be normal again. Then they asked me to open the gift they bought for me (thanks again, guys) which turns out to be a gleaming purple tie. Another to add to my collection in my room. Not just that, they made me promise that I would wear it tomorrow so as a sign of respect, I'm just going to go with the flow. 30 minutes later, Mark came down with a sullen look on his face because he felt a little sorry that I waited for him without eating. He then treated me to dinner since it was my birthday and I'm grateful for it, bro. Lasallians will stick together be it through thick or thin, man. I guess that's all I have to share for now. Gonna go hit the sack now since it's getting late. Till then, guys!

Finally, an update!

2012-11-19T23:31:00.001+08:00

I can't believe it's been so long that I have stopped updating my blog but here I am again, waiting in the student lounge for my friends, actually friend, to call back after she finishes her class. If you're wondering who's that special person which I'm willing to wait for till the dead of night, she's none other than my close friend, Jasmine. Not to say that Terence and Jia Lin aren't but they're waiting as well as I'm typing this post out. As for Glenn, I believe he *coughs* has to study for his A2 *coughs*. What I want to say is that, since the last time I updated my personal blog, things are starting to lighten up in my current university life. I believe that I have found the right group to mix with, given that they know how to mix fun and studies together to give a fruitful experience here in uni. The friends that I made here are so much different than those that I expect to make before I came in. Back then, I used to think that all medical students were walking encyclopaedias/dictionaries/thesauruses and never the type of people who liked to socialise. Well, "all" would have to be replaced with "most". I'm very surprised that there are people who are the geniuses that I expect them to be, yet it's fun to be around them because of their unique characters and personalities. Not only that, I've managed to befriend a few international students. There's one each from Iran, Indonesia, Tanzania and Nigeria. Learning their culture, habits and personalities day by day actually opened my eyes that our culture here may not exactly be the best and there are some flaws that can be tweaked to improve it. Despite all the good things I've went through, I'm still disappointed with the fact that I can't really exercise here (I don't wanna hurt myself by saying I gained weight, lol) and I see a repeat of me being what I was 9 years back (oh God, no). Hopefully I find a way to cut all the fat loose and slim down so that I can get back to being fit. I can't believe Terence managed to outrun and outplay me in a game of basketball that day when we were back in Melaka (don't grin to yourself, Foo). Well, I guess that'll be all I have to say for now. Have to wait for another hour before the laptop starts ringing. Here I come, YouTube!