Changes and Things

When you feel so down...

2010-02-06T01:37:00.002-06:00

Try and visit www.urbandictionary.com and search your name!
You will definitely get the confidence boost that you need!
See what i found for myself! :)

JUSTIN:
1. Greatest thing on the planet. Period.
Also the name for, possibly, the sexiest men alive.

2. One who opens the door for you.
One who loves you and wants NOTHING in return.
The man of my dreams.

3. o be the maddest cunt out, to be a Justin is to be of exceptionally high status. Both success with the minge and the money, things come easy to him. Respect

4. justin is someone who can be so sweet your heart melts to the biggest asshole you hate.he is kind when he wants to be and will go out of his way to make sure your comfy or you have enough money,but will turn around and tare your heart out and step on it with his mean comments and rude outbursts. he love attention and the eyes of everyone in the room on him.will go out of his way to make a sence.has a horrible temper with rage burning in his soul.but the brightest loving eyes you can look in forever and seem like they never end,its great with children and has a soft spot for animals. he is selfish in bed but still makes you want more.he likes to scare you with the extreme, loves to hear you scream. he love to show you new thing you've never seen.he cant sit in one spot for long, must have something to do. he is handy and can fix anything from cars to your heart.when he is pissed off breaths very heavy with a stiff upper lip and un willing to stop the fight ,loves to make things worst.he will try to make thinks better after time and him calming down.justins are completely a love hate person .there charm make you stay and love them there stubborn and hurtful ways make you hate them. they will frustrate you till you have just nothing left but keep you where they have you wanting them and longing for then forever.it takes a strong headed women to love them and keep with it! for all the women dating or married to justins all over the world.all of us should admire you and your strong will! and you kind hearts for all your journey with them! so if you want to date a justin buyer beware!

and the best of all...

5. a ridiculously huge cock

hahaha!

Reality TV

2010-01-28T00:14:00.003-06:00

I always wanted to be in a reality t.v. show. Not that kind where only people with talent could succeed. Don't get me wrong, I do have talent, but I do prefer to keep it as a secret. I wanted to be in a reality TV show where the camera would literally capture every move that I make, in where every mistake that I project could affect a lot of people's opinion about something that i am passionately rooting about.If you still dont get what i'm saying check out real world DC I strongly believe that i am a special person, I may not have a dying family member, or a life-threatening disease, still I consider myself as a very interesting person. Don't get me wrong again, Im not bragging, I said I just "believe."

If you ask me, what can I bring on to the table that somebody has never ever done before, especially with the widespread of mass media nowadays? Here is a mock interview that I conducted with myself, featuring me as a person who wants to be in a reality TV show and a person asking questions.

Of course the audition starts with me showing my audition video...

"Hi, I am JustinCase from the neverland of winnipeg, manitoba, I am 18 years old turning 19 this coming april the 9th. I am the eldest of 2 siblings, my parents are not divorced, and i like spending my time having coffee and critical conversations with my friends, I also love projecting an image of stupidity, because I enjoy the attention of people laughing at me, I also love the reaction I get when people realize that i am not a stupid person, and this is my room *camera points to my room* i make my daily educational stuff inside my room and things that Im pretty sure you are imagining now, mind you it's sexual, and these are my friends! Come on friends say something nice about me, we're on tv! and that is just a summary of my life, I know it's just supposed to be a 1 minute video but I believe I caught your attention for a whole moment there and I really love and I am so good on talking about myself, off for now, pick me MTV!"

*everyone in the audition room claps*

Interviewer: So, justincase, what makes you different from everybody else?

Me: Something that I believe that makes me different from everyone is the fact that I ADMIT that I am normal. I mean, everyone keeps talking about how they are unique or how they have their special talent or they have a very genuine personality or everyone just dont understand them... But you know what everybody does understand each other. Everyone just has this definite mixture of personality and attitude but it all comes to something very common. So people should stop saying that they are different and start admitting that everyone is like everybody else! oh, and im not a communist, not that there is something bad about being a communist, im just clarifying.

I: If there would be 2 people that you would always want to speak with, who would they be and why?

M: I would say my mom and dad. I would tell them I am very grateful that they are my parents, and how they raised me very normal, although at times i would go out of their track and piss them off but at the end of the day, they may not express it or show it to me, I know that they still love me, besides, my parents always tries to understand me even though sometimes my views are wrong, and if they would not get what im saying, they would not bother to go any further. On a not so pretentious mode, Id choose paris hilton and nicole richie. enough said,

I: Okay last question, what is your reason for trying to audition to get into Real World?

M: I want to party! and get LAID! and drink booze! and be on TV! aside from that, I also want to inspire a lot of people. I want to reach a whole different range of people to approach. I want my voice to be heard and my motives to be considered. And those motives, are for you to know.

I: and what are those motives?

M: I thought that was the last question? haha! I picture a world that's equal, where everyone would realize their own function and purpose, and accept it whole heartedly... yes, i dont want to get cheesy and all because I want to show you guys how party inside a person I am!

I: thank you justincase. Show taping starts next month. we'll send you your ticket.

Much love

Magnitude 7.0

2010-01-19T21:34:00.004-06:00

Thanks to Paisley photograph on flickr for this photo

So as everyone has been aware of, or if you havent been aware of the fatal disaster that just happened exactly one week ago in Haiti, I would still like to bring up to you the fearful reality of what happened. On the day of January 24th, a fierce earthquake with a 7.0 magnitude has hit the Carribean country of Haiti, it has followed by an aftershock of 5.5 and 5.9 magnitude and has caused tens and thousands of lives. It has ruined infrastructures, forms of communications, families, individuals and the whole community. This environmental disaster has left the country being unable to move forward leaving all their political controversies behind. But in spite of the fact that the country was hit by a calamity only a few could survive, the world has been connected into one.

What has been surprising is the world's tremendous response to a disaster like this. It is a given fact on how the world is willing to help whenever there is somebody in need. It is overwhelming as this contribution is greatly needed. It might not equate the damages caused by the earthquake but the disposable money that people give still makes a difference. I know, because I started to answer one of red cross' telephone lines inside my workplace. People inside have been adding hours to answer this appeal. It is great but the thing that is depressing me a little bit is that's all I can do.

I have been in this situation twice now, in where I have been so much more than willing to help but I could not. Once when my home country was destroyed by the much hated typhoon Ondoy, and now, the earthquake in Haiti. I wanted to help, I wanted to give myself to thos people in need, but I could not because with mys situation right now, I couldnt be less than selfless. Sometime soon, im hoping that the world would definitely taste a piece of me.

Anyways, if you want to donate, please visit Red Cross for more information. Please do be generous. Thank you.

Much Love.

The question WHY

2010-01-07T01:20:00.004-06:00

I grew up to believe that everything happens for a reason,
I grew up to believe that the door is closed simply because the door is closed,
I grew up to believe that people fail because other people succeed,
I grew up believing that everything is destined to happen,
I grew up to believe that I'm like this and I'm going to die like this,
But one important thing that I did not grew up with is asking why...?

Why? Because It's like that!

I feel bad for myself, I felt like I did not foster my full potential as a person.
Well I mean I did not lack objectivity but what I lack is the meaning.
And that's why I came to realize why I am having so much problem explaining myself. I was not trained to answer the question why. I was trained to be mechanical, to follow instructions, to follow, because that's the way it is. No need to explain why.

I grew up convincing myself that I am a born leader. Because I am biologically born as a leader, no quesitons asked. But come to think of it, I may have the speaking skills, the right amount of confidence, the knowledge and the drive but what I lack is explaining. I mean i get through all the bad stuff that i've done because of power. I get punished, I'd suck it up, Id get the wrong burger, i'd suck it up, I wouldnt even bother asking why...

I feel really bad for myself. Dont get me wrong, I know I'm clever and all, i get away with the stuff that I do but when it comes to the explaining part, maybe I should start asking myself why?

People loves me for being such a free spirit, they know that when I get into trouble, id be able to solve it and live again, but I know for myself, it lacks the question why?

oh God i've been watching too much reality tv. Because I have too much free time.

and DAMN YOU SOCIOLOGY! YOU ALWAYS WANT TO SCREW UP THINGS. and dont bother to ask why.

Much love

100 Goals To call my life complete.

2010-01-04T01:03:00.004-06:00

Since it is the beginning of year 2010,
Since I just watched a walk to remember,
since I just turned 18 this past year
and since nobody is growing younger...
I want to present my 100 goals to call my life complete.

I know I have done a lot that makes my life worth living above this world,
not only for myself or my family but also for the whole human kind.
But there are still a lot of things that I personally want to and I want to make a list so that I could keep track. Every accomplished goal, I would be blogging about it or if ever I would add something up, I would blog about it. So, here goes my list...
In a random order...

1. Witness a miracle.
2. Get a degree in marketing.
3. Produce a legend.
4. Get a tattoo.
5. Present a respectable partner to my family.
6. Help my brothers finish university.
7. Send my mom and dad to paris just to drink coffee in front of the Eiffel Tower.
8. Buy a private plane.
9. Appear on TV to give a motivational speech
10.Win an award concerning Human rights.
11.Help abolish poverty in Africa.
12.Volunteer in a place where technology is not present.
13.Make a documentary about human rights.
14.Have sex with a celebrity.
15.Drink 1 whole straight week.
16.Build an active organization concerning human rights all over the world.
17.Have sex with a politician.
18.Sing for a wedding
19.Be a best man.
20.Apply my beach wedding plans.
22.Work for a children centered company.
23.Own a candy/toy store.
24.Get into a 5some.
25.Kiss a guy in public.
26.Write my name and my boyfriend's name on a tree.
27.Lie down under a fireworks display saying "WIll you marry me?"
28.A simple life, real world, malcolm in the middle marathon with lovey.
29.Reach 3000 cd's for my dvd collection.
30.Adopt a boy and a girl.
31.Create my own baby through artificial insemenation.
32.Have my own baby through a friend.
33.Have 1 million @ one time in my bank account.
34.Kiss a random stranger in public.
35.Have sex in public.
36.Bring home 2 guys @ the same night from a bar.
37.Hold hands on the beach.
38.Buy a yacht.
39.Prove that gay guys are productive.
40.Make a remarkable move that could be the start of change in the world.
41.Kill a zombie.
42.Create a walk in closet.
43.Wear a white tuxedo @ work.
44.Sex with an old grandma.
45.Get 6 pack abs.
46.Conduct a runway show.
47.Be on a runway show.
48.Meet Tyra Banks.
49.Meet Ellen Degeneres
50.Meet Paris and Nicole.
51.Record a single.
52.MEet james cameron.
53.Sex with a doctor
54.Go to europe with lovey.
55.A house in Hawaii.
56.A high school reunion.
57.Choreograph a pussycat doll like dance.
58.Meet lady gaga.
59.Give a trip to my favorite people other than family.
60.Bring all my family and relatives in canada to the philippines at once.
61.Give my friends a shopping spree. Sky's the limit.
62.Do my 50,000th post in blogger.
63.Own a night club.
64.Write a book.
65.Get a song written for me.
66.Make an invention.
67.Help clean the environment.
68.Own a yorkshire terrier
69.Bring my family to disneyland
70.Spoil my niece and nephews
71.Drive an orange 4x4
72.Have an episode of family guy based on me.
73.Wear the micky mouse costume.
74.Show all the people who hates me how successful I am.
75.Buy a house by the philippine beaches
76.Have sex with my 1st ex.
77.Sex with someone named mark.
78.Sex with someone named jeffrey
79.Bring home a guy and stay up all night just talking.
80.Meet mandy moore.
81.Attend a cosplay.
82.Attend a geek conference.
83.Sleep for 2 straight days.
84.Get my hair shaved off again.
85.Rejuvinate Manila Zoo
86.Volunteer regarding nature.
87.Form an organization focusing on children.
88.Produce a film.
89.Star on a porno.
90.Be a hooker for a day.
91.Get a random girl pregnant but abort it.
92.Debate with a politician.
93.Vote someone whom i know is gonna lose.
94.Interview with kris and boy.
95.Tell jake cuenca i`ve got a big crush on him.
96.Buy a very expensive unnecessary item.
97.Get my house featured on Mtv cribs
98.be on a reality tv show.
99.Host an ABS CBN TV special.
100.Go to wowowee and win hep hep hooray!

most of this I WILL accomplish but some, i won't be able to... But for sure in one point, I would be talking about ALL of these goals in this blog. :)

Cheers to 09!

2009-12-31T22:26:00.003-06:00

Grab your jello shot! I made those! :)

1) Was 2009 a good year for you?
-Definitely. could be better but hey! Can't complain. :)

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
-YMCA youth exchange. :)

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
-First half of University Life.

4) Where were you when 2009 began?
-At home. spending time with the fam. as always. :)

5) Who were you with?
-Family. :)

6) Where will you be when 2009 ends?
-At home still. Gona try to welcome to 2010 with a bang. :)

7) Who will you be with when 20010 ends?
-With the fam still! :)

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2009?
- To be less laitero? yes! LOL

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2009?
- Being more organized and mature.

10) Did you fall in love in 2008?
- Hell no.

11) If yes who?
n/a

12) If yes, do they know?
n/a

13) Are you still in love with them?
n/a

14) You regret it?
n/a

15) Did you breakup in 2009?
- Yes,

16) Did you make any new friends in 2009?
- A lot! Even BEST FRIENDS. :)

17) Who are your favorite “new” friends?
- mary charlet and shella d. :)

18) What was your favorite month of 2009?
- April. :)

19) Did you travel outside of Canada in 2009?
- no..

20) How many different provinces and/or states did you travel to in 2009?
- Just Ontario. :)

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
- no...

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
- My 607 family. :)

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2009?
- Just recently. AVATAR! :)

24) What was your favorite song from 2009?
- POKER FACE - lady gaga! :)

25) What was your favorite record from 2009?
- fame by lady gaga! :)

26) How many concerts did you see in 2009?
- Not that of a concert person. just 1. lupe fiasco.

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2009?
-no

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
- Yes. i turned alcoholic sometime last summer. :)

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?
- No.

30) Did you do anything out of character in 2009?
- Haha! is me being slutty out of my character? i guess not. LOL

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
- A lot. I had sex with someone in a car on a road no one knows where. LOL

33) What was the worst lie you told someone in 2009?
- That i like them.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
- Yes. made somebody think i love them but no, not really.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
- Nope. im numb of bad feelings.

36) How much money did you spend in 2009?
- ALMOST ALL MY PAYCHECK. no savings.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2009?
- Graduation. 2 awards yo! :)

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
- i am never embarassed. :|

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
-YMCA exchange. :)

40) What are your plans for 2010?
- gain as much sex partners. LOL. travel. get good grades. :)

41)What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
- stand up on a horse. :)

42)What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
- money and a commited stable relationship. :)

43)What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- april 9. day i turned 18. :P

44)Did you suffer illness or injury?
- Nope.

45) What was the best thing you bought?
- tuition fee.

46) Whose behavior merited celebration?
- Barack Obama.

47) Whose behavior made you appalled and disappointed?
- Kanye West. LOL

48) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- I got high marks. well just higher that what im expecting. :)

49) What song will always remind you of 2009?
- i've got a feeling- BEP

50) Compared to this time last year, are you:
richer or poorer?
-POORER! LOL

51) What do you wish you’d done more of?
- Money.

52) What do you wish you’d done less of?
- slacking... and work. LOL

53) What was your favorite tv program?
-REAL WORLD!!!

54) Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
- yes. some random bitchy girl who tries to keep attention up for her,

55) What was the best book you read?
- Jpod. - Douglas Coupland

56) What was your greatest musical discovery?
- LADY GAGA! :)

57) What did you want and get?
- reasonable marks. :)

58) What did you want and not get?
- reasonable marks on other subjs. LOL

59) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- 18. went to ontario for ymca exchange. :)

60) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- If only i had someone to cuddle with. :P

61) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
- preppy on the go. LOL

62) What kept you sane?
- My famly and friends.

63) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- LADY GAGA!

64) Who do you miss?
- 607 family. :(

65) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
- Live the moment and not worry about tommorow. :)

Happy New Year Everyone! :)

2009-12-31T21:52:00.002-06:00

Before 09 sublimes to 10.
I want to greet everybody a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have been through a lot this 09.
Cliche moments, happy and sad ones.
But one thing for sure. Everything will sure be treasured.
I damn miss my friends and family in the Philippines.
Hope I see them soon.
I thank God for giving me such a good year.
Blessings that I dont want to count and point out
for I sure will miss something...
I've also done stupid things, things that need be forgotten...
again, new year, new opportunities, challenges.

Much Love

Before Christmas end in other parts of the world...

2009-12-25T01:59:00.003-06:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

To all the calamity victims all around the world, may everyone have a bountiful table during Christmas dinner.
To all the kids, may they receive the presents that they desire.
To all teens, may we remember the true essence of celebrating Christmas.
To all adults, may your bank accounts recover as soon as possible.
To all party animals, dont drink and drive.
and to Jesus, Happy Birthday! :)

Keep the disco ball rollin

2009-12-24T01:10:00.003-06:00

After months of bloody school work, I finally get to drink alcohol again. FINALLY!
It's the holidays and blessings from God have been rushing to enter my life. Great just so great! I do not have to worry about anything until the classes or at least the week when school begin comes by. No stress, no worries, high marks! Me being so stressed out before exams finally paid off, I got some reasonable marks and it's just great.

I have been partying hard for the past 2 days, haven't been sleeping in our house too and haven't seen my mom but I guess it is okay, I'd be spending lots of time with them now that it's the holidays. I felt like I have been released from a cage of despair within the conformity of university that I forgot how hard I party way before. I guess, I got my old self back, but i know some things have changed. I lost a little bit of faith in myself, maybe that's one of the reasons why I struggled my first half in school. But fuck, I got it over and done with and now I'm given the time to enjoy and relax, and so far, I KNOW I HAVE BEEN DOING A GREAT JOB!

But hey, let's all not forgot that the holidays is not just about resting, getting drunk and having fun, but it's also about God, the reason why we get this time of the year. I'm not being religious or anything, not that it's bad being religious but hey, sometimes we have to have a little faith into something. :) Now let's get back our attention to Tiger Woods and how he is infidel towards his wife, let's digress our own issues to him and laugh! Sorry Tiger Woods for being mean and selfish, but we need to have fun, Merry Christmas!:)

Much Love

The negative energy.

2009-12-18T11:36:00.003-06:00

So I am done 4 of my exams and I have one more to go on Monday, which is Economics, easy course yet lots to memorize. But before that exam, I have lots to worry about. I have to think about what presents to give, who to give presents to, work, budgeting money, exams and marks. It's the holiday season, I should not be so stressed out like this. I have so much negative energy in me I can see so much difference when it comes to my attitude. I always feel irritable and unfulfilled. I hate it.

The other day, I had a dream, it's about a murder scene, it's weird, I feel like it's a movie material. So there was me, cuddling with some random guy while suddenly we hear a gun shot, we went outside and there was his sister, she's covered with blood, we thought she was the one shot but no, it was her boyfriend, and I remember some line that she said saying "If only you did not push through your sexual act and asked me nicely! I could have slept with you!" And then she looked our way, still holding a gun, and we ran so fast, my cuddler's sister tried shooting us but she seems to have a bad aim, my cuddler(lol) jumped over the fence and ran so fast making him live, while I got shot, and I woke up. Alone, I got so scared, I remembered my director dreams way before. Another frustration.

Anyways, as stated above, yes, I think one thing that lead me into that dream are my frustrations. I mean I have a lot of frustrations, luckily my grades did not haunt me in my dreams. Just a few showed their shadows beyond my dreams, like what I said, I am a frustrated director. And maybe the gunshot is a symbol of me wanting to die, I just want to escape all these frustrations and move on. But I know I cant.

Another thing that keeps me frustrated is how I dont get to communicate with my family like I used to. Before my 4th exam, I used to see them everyday, I talk to them like we were always connected, but after that, I always wake up without them inside the house, and then I go to work in the afternoon and when I get home in the evening, I feel so tired and irate I dont even want to talk with anybody. That's what made me frustrated, I felt like I was alone, I felt like I am so left out. I guess I'm so going to have a problem moving out. I mean, this alone thing is just so drastic i never knew it was coming. And that adds up to my negative energy.

I already cleaned my super messy room, I hope that works, at least a positive energy came. And I hope they keep on coming.

Much Love

The art of happiness.

2009-12-08T23:44:00.001-06:00

I kept on bringing myself down ever since I stepped beyond the confinement of being a university student. I've never felt so much failure. I mean I never get C's or even F's back in highschool and getting those marks is a very hard thing to accept for me. I always thought I was smart, I always thought that life is a party, I always thought that I could survive being a student and a socialite, I thought I could still party every weekend while maintaining a very competitive grade. But guess what? I was wrong. I was overwhelmed by the fact that I don't get failing marks so I didn't put enough effort to survive in university. No worries, i already changed that habit. I started changing my schedule, putting almost half of my day into studying.

Being smart is something that you earn, and being smart in university means reading books and lots of memorizing and understanding. I never do that, way before, I felt that attending classes would be enough to get a passing grade, those grading systems didn't matter to me anyways so why bother? But then, I realized, how important getting a GPA as high as 4.5 in order to get the job that I want, which is to work for Walt Disney.

I admit, University has changed me a lot, I am not the old party animal that used to consume alcohol on a weekly basis. University has enabled me to see life on a very different perspective, I am now grade conscious, a nerd. Well well, dont get me wrong, I dont get a GPA as high as 4.5, I still get C's but what I also learned is to accept those things with my sincere heart because I know for sure that I will always have the chance to get back on track. Gahd. Please I want to graduate on time. And as far as now, I could see that happening. Hopefully.

Much Love.

Reason why I want to be famous.

2009-12-04T21:20:00.004-06:00

"Being widely known" as google defines being a celebrity.
Someday I want to be a celebrity, not for the glitter, not for the money but because I want to inspire.
Someday I want to be filthy rich, I want to be influential, I wan to have an impact to everybody, I want to be somebody, not only for the good of myself but also for the good of others.

I may come across selfish and egoistic a lot of times but in contrast to that, I am very passionate about human equality. With the things that I have done, I could say that I am a human rights activist. And where is this heading? Way before I moved into a culturally diversified country, I have been contained in a country where majority of the people has the same skin color, has similar appearance and a lot of times has the same social class and background, racism is never a problem. I did not even care if the holocaust existed, I just know it's a bad thing.

One thing that came into my attention after I moved to the country im residing now, is that not everybody is equal. And I want to be somebody to make that inequality balanced. Though I cannot assure that everybody would and could cooperate, I still want to try. And to do that, I need power, I need influence, I need to be famous, a celebrity. I find that one effective way of influencing other people. Seems sensational, but i find it possible.

Just recently, CNN has awarded their "CNN hero of the year" award to Efren Penaflorida for being a man who is determined to spread education to children who can't afford to go to school. He does this by conducting a rolling library and spread his knowledge to every child interested.

Someday, I will be like him. We might not have the same goal but Im pretty sure the issue that I want to tackle is an important issue too. And how can i do this? I still havent figured out yet, may take time, or may not happen. But I'd never lose hope, I'd still dream of one day, everyone will be equal though still influenced by some principles of social stratification. One day, I will eliminate Racism, one day I will educate everyone with their human rights and how they can fight and stand up for their own privilege. One day...

Much love.

TARGET POVERTY!

2009-11-27T23:56:00.006-06:00

I cant seem to remember the last time I bought a piece of clothing for myself.
Seems like a very long time ago. Can't even remember the last time I ate at a restaurant using my own money.(Dont mention the fact that i was out earlier with my cousin to eat.LOL)
One thing I just realized these past few days is the unprecedented fact that UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ARE BROKE.
I remember borrowing a good 6 hundred from my parents to pay off my university tuition.
Take note, "borrowing." I dont want to take advantage of the fact that they could still help me and im still under their roof. I wanna be independent and let them know that I could pay this by myself and besides they have so much bills and budgeting for them is the hardest thing to do so I dont want to add my tuition fee to their headache and help them in that case.
I work twice a week because i wont be able to get more hours because i need to study.
I dont want my marks to sacrifice and show signs of failing.
Let's say I earn 500$ a month, 50$ goes to my insurance, 40$ goes to my cellphone bill, 200$ for my credit card bill(w/c btw is always maxed out), 60$ for transportation and 100$ goes to my tuition fee. Which leaves me 50$ to spend for one whole month. I mean WOW, how can I live like this? I miss the days when I could save money to the maximum level, where did that savings go? TUITION FEE.
Well you see, I have 2 choices, either I loan from the government, where they would not penalize me until I graduate, but pay the loan after I graduate, OR, I could pay my own tuition fee while studying and enjoy the fullness of my paycheck after I graduate.
I chose to pay my tuition fee because I know I can, i just need to tighten up my belt for a while and I know everything will be fine. Im pretty sure this will pay off and I'd have my time. Good God I hope that's soon.

Much love.

Why am i so concerned about the temperature?

2009-11-22T08:13:00.004-06:00

The city where I live is very popular for a temperature that could be as low as -50 degrees.
It is also popular for snow that could be as thick as 10,000 blankets.
These things usually comes by the last week of August or the first week of November,
but where are they now?
Everybody from where I live hates the snow and the freezing temperature,
and boy they are so happy to not feel even a pinch of snowfall.
And why do I have to be so concerned and worried about this?
Because this is one of the effects of global warming.
Floods, earthquakes and hurricanes, though they are the most popular signs of global warming, the temperature change from the city where I live remains unnoticed.
I find this a very serious matter, no snowfall until now means longer winter next year,
if it falls by December we might have snow until the latter part of June, which I never experienced.
Aside from longer winter term, ice by the north and south pole could also melt that could lead from countries near the equator to sink.
It is very nice how we haven't felt any snow yet.
But the consequences for this one very small thing could lead to something very large and trigger world imbalance.

Much love.

Things that I dont Approve.

2009-11-18T23:42:00.003-06:00

What would it take for a person to be able to attain FAME?
No, he's not gonna live forever, nor I'll remember his name, FAME!
I live in a small city with a population of 500,000.
And it would not take a lot to know almost everybody.
With different forms of media and different behavioral attitudes.
People have segregated some from the other.

Multiculturalism is one heck of a problem from the country where I live.
And different private organizations are one of the ways to address this problem.
Some might take multiculturalism as a very good thing, some assume it's a form of cultural racism.
These different organizations takes the lead to promote awareness of human rights to people.
Because majority of the people form where I live, doesnt know their rights, doesnt know what they are fighting for.
It takes a shout, or a simple hop for you to be able to call yourself a member of an organization.
Doesnt matter how significant or how big of an impact you touched lives.
As long as you started being some sort of a finger of an organization, you can call yourself a member.
I adore a lot of people's efforts to bust the problem of cultural racism, due to their public relation skills, they are able to effortlessly deliver a cause that only a few can do, to inspire.
But some people, their ulterior motives are apparent. Joining a group means getting your face on a front page of a local news paper. That's their whole point. POLITICS.
I pity you. You dont receive as much attention as I do that's why you try to be me.
Well hey, that's one of our lectures in sociology, a subject where some point i got an F.
We are all peacocks, something that says "Im so pretty, adore me. YOU are SO NOT ME."
True but hey, that is some other point.

Much love.

And now I'm scared to sleep.

2009-11-15T21:45:00.004-06:00

A bang is like a wake up call. You can feel and hear the basic note that hits your body and you experience an impact. A big bang is something you would never wish happen to you.

Earlier today, me and my family was hit by a speeding car. That lead the left side door of our car on a total wreck and the left-back wheel was pushed in. Worse damage was put inside us.
We just got off mass and was debating whether to eat out or just stay home and cook something. My dad was just turning left from a back lane and I hear my mom and younger brother shouting that there was a car. I saw the whole thing happen as the bumper of the car hits the door by my side. I felt that I'd be the person who would receive pain the most. I felt that I would feel blood running from my forehead. I felt that I was dead. Seeing the bumper of the car 1 meter away from me, I felt scared. But I was wrong regarding that feeling, hence i should be more frightened. A few milliseconds have passed after we got hit, I felt a was dead for a good second, I saw black and just plain black. I opened my eyes and felt nothing. I tried to move but i cant, i bit my tongue, considering that's the only part that i could move, and checked if this is really happening, for a sudden I wasn't able to tell if what I just experienced was a dream or was it reality. I saw my whole family shocked, nobody cant move, and suddenly, I hear my mom and youngest brother in pain. I was also in pain, i suddenly felt how my internal organs was dangerously shook but my mom and my youngest brother felt pain in an intense level.

At first, after we got our consciousness back, we thought we were okay, we thought that no one was harm, the police and the medics asked us a hundred of times and we all answered we are not hurt. But when everything is close to being settled, my mom felt great pain by her left side, she rated the pain 7/10 with 10 being the worst pain she ever felt in her entire life. I never saw tears, not until our youngest shouted how his right arm was sore and he cant move it, he wanted to cry but my dad told him not to. I saw a tear from my mom's eye. I wanted to cry but i can't, i dont want to look like the weakest in the family, and yes it hurts. I dont like to see my mom and our youngest in pain and I cant do anything. Our youngest and my mom was then rushed to the hospital and got a check up.

This served as an experienc for us. Thank God that nobody was hurt so bad to a point where we just want to die. Thank God no blood was shed. Thank God everyone's safe now. My mom and our youngest are now sleeping, they are still sore but they are now trying to rest.
This is indeed quite a trauma for us, considering how careful my dad drives, basically he drives 50km/hr on a 60km/hr road. he's really careful but accidents happen. Thank God we're okay. This will surely bind our family together. Im just so glad I still have time to show everyone my love.

Much love.