“The best things in life are unexpected – because there were no expectations.”- Eli Khamarov

Expect The Unexpected

Sit down, grab a cup of tea, because you’re in for a treat, this article is going to be amazing. Wow, what a great way to start an article, right?…Did I already give you an initial expectation?

This article may just be a complete waste of your time, or it might actually have something of value for you. Guess your going to have to forget that first sentence and keep reading to find out.

Life is full of many ups and downs, moments of inconceivable joy, tremendous suffering, utter boredom, yet in the end it is all part of a beautiful ride.

We are blessed to have a conscious mind, but it has also been one of our greatest enemies. Because the way in which our minds are hard wired, we perceive the world in a way that keeps us from actually experiencing it in it’s totality.

Our minds function through memory, from logic, and even if we are crazy, the way in which think may still seem logical to us.

We all live with a little censor that resides inside us, that is constantly comparing every little thing, and this comparing inevitably leads us to have many expectations.

What is an expectation? An expectation is a logical or not so logical way in which we want the events of our lives to unfold, how we think things should be, because of the experiences we have had in the past. You look out into the world through filters influenced from the millions of impressions you have accumulated, all safely tucked away in your brain.

How often does life go according to our expectations?

Having expectations automatically makes something in your mind a destination, which is not real. Your mind becomes closed and functions on conclusions, then you cease to really learn about anything. But through “will” power and a lot of unnecessary effort, many of us achieve some of our expectations.

This on the surface may seem great, but all I am asking, is this really the most joyous way to live our lives? Are expectations necessary? Shouldn’t life be lived simply and not extraordinarily complicated?

How do we even live a life without expectations? I think the first step is to become aware of your inner censor. The little voice inside you, that automatically begins to evaluate and compare any situation against the backdrop of your beliefs. Then based on your evaluation, which is always incomplete, you will proceed with some type of action or non-action which is still a form of action.

Once you see this little voice in operation, become aware of it, remain a passive unattached witness to it. See that this may not necessarily be the best way for you to respond to a situation. Don’t become identified to that little voice. Learning to constantly question your little inner voice automatically creates inner space for you to freely observe your thinking processes.

It’s easy to initially decide to witness your mind, but it is extremely difficult to remain unidentified. If I ask you to do it now, to take a minute to watch your mind, passively, unattached, yet very attentive, you can do it for a short while, but how long can you remain in this attentive state?….This will show you that we are never really awake during the day, because the majority of our time is spent inattentively.

This is why things just happen in our lives, we really don’t “do” anything. We make a strong determined resolution to do something, then soon become inattentive, and things just happen, then we rationalize why things did not work out the way we expected them to.

Go With The Flow of Life

“I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.”- Dalai Lama

If you are able to remain unidentified, switch your awareness to your body and all the subtle non verbal communication that it gives you. This is an intelligence that does not function from memory, therefore has no expectations about the future, it is here and now, and will give you direction in your life.

Sure many times these signals may seem illogical, but you have to remember that this is life’s very nature. Dropping your expectations and going with the flow will allow you to be in harmony with existence, even if it seems irrational and crazy.

Life unfolds in miraculous ways the moment you embrace it, you expect the unexpected unexpectedly. Every day is an opportunity to learn something new.

But for many of us to make this jump requires that we really get in tune with the different aspects of our being. Our organism has been corrupted, become extremely dull, and not functioning in tip top shape.

You need to learn to let your mind do it’s job of sane rational thinking, your hearts job of feeling, without letting them mix into each other and become corrupted. You need to learn to not express and become identified with negative emotions, you will see why if you really try. Make sure you take great care of your body so that it is sensitive, then it’s intuitive and instinctual perceptions are allowed to function.

When you are in harmony, you are able to let go of your expectations of how life should be, and be fully available to what life actually is. See where life takes you, enjoy the ride.

Sure it makes logical sense to make definite and specific plans and to achieve those plans, but for me life has always been more fulfilling when it is approached with no previous expectations. Just having a curious attitude, like that of a child filled with eyes of wonder, wanting to explore a world that is unknown to him.

You live life instead of thinking about how to live. Just like the tag line from Leo Babauta’s blog…smile, breath, and go slowly…that pretty much sums it up.

Join the conversation, share your experiences below

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“True wisdom listens more, talks less and can get along with all types of people. ” - Kiana Tom

Nice To Meet You, Where You from?

“Good government is no substitute for self-government.” - Mohandas Gandhi

In living abroad, one of the most common questions you will here is “so where are you from?” From this one little question people will immediately get an initial impression about who you are.

I am someone who doesn’t identify with any group or nation, but I play along for the sake of conversational niceties.

I always find this question to be very interesting when it is asked of me, because from just my external appearance, many people can’t really pin point where I am from.

I was born in the US but I am of Mexican decent. My name is Ivan Campuzano, so sometimes because of my name people assume I am Russian, Italian, or Spanish. I have also heard that I could pass as Asian and several other ethnicity’s. I now live in Korea and just the other day someone asked me if I was half Korean, but I think its mainly because of my glasses.

I think early on one of the reasons why I never felt any nationalistic pride, was because I grew up living between two different worlds. I eventually saw how foolish it is to be nationalistic, as it is one of main ways we divide and cause conflict in humanity.

So when people ask where I am from I will either say I am Mexican or American, but lately I am more likely to say I am from Mexico.

Now I want to tell you about my little experiment and some of my observations.

The first time I started saying I was something other than American, was on the trams of Prague. On a few occasions I did not want to be associated with the British people who where on stag party’s or belligerent loud Americans causing a raucous and disturbing everyone on the tram. Being one of the few sober foreigners, some Czech people would often ask me to please tell my friends to be quite. I would just politely say they where not my friends.

American or Mexican? What Did I Observe?

It was really interesting for me to see, that generally most people would respond in a more positive manner when I said I was from Mexico, they seemed more intrigued.

I figured this was simply because there where very few Mexicans in Prague and they found the culture to be more exotic. There is actually a big community of American Expats in Prague, so Czechs are quite used to being around Americans.

The general theme that emerged was that people seemed to be more interested in getting to know me, when I said I was from Mexico. They would ask more personal questions in effort to try to understand me and where I was from. Whenever I said I was from America, many times it would inevitability turn into a political or economic conversation. Not my idea of fun.

America Land of The….

The basic gist of my observations from these past few years, is that America is no longer the America that the whole world believed it to be. The word is out, America is in deep trouble. It really is quite amazing that in one decade, our government has essentially committed suicide, and it’s actions have negatively influenced the worlds view of the American people.

I am just generalizing but many people from around the world now hold the view that Americans are stupid, uninformed, violent, and only care about themselves. Please… I don’t mean to attack anyone, as I know for the most part this is not true, but because of our government and the corporate media, this is how many people see us.

I am also curious to hear about the experiences of other people who have traveled abroad. What reactions did you observe when people asked you where you are from? Please leave your comments below, I would love to hear about your own findings.

I am a Citizen of The World

“I have no country to fight for: my country is the earth, and I am a citizen of the world.” - Eugene V. Debs

I think we are in a critical point in how we see our selves in relation to the world. I really feel that we all need to have a more worldly attitude. One where we do not separate ourselves by race, creed, color, national origin, sex, political affiliation, or beliefs, but simply see each other as brothers of the only race, which is to simply be human. This takes a tremendous amount of self understanding, its a huge jump from where we are currently at, but a jump we must make if we are to prosper in the future.

So next time someone asks me where I am from, you may hear me say “planet earth”, they may think I am a complete weirdo and walk away , but hopefully one day they say “me too” nice to meet you.

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“It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.”- Maya Angelou

Hey Mom!..I’m a Big Kid Now

There is no doubt that for most of us our family’s are the strongest influence and therefore main attachment in our lives. This attachment may also be the strongest source of conflict for us.

I truly love my family, but for anyone that knows me its pretty obvious that I am completely different. I have always struggled in trying to have my parents understand how I see things and the type of life I want to lead. Their ideas of the life they desire me to live is just about the complete opposite of what I want.

Many of these differences are simply due to the fact that we grew up in radically different times and circumstances. My parents came to the states with many of the same aspirations that most immigrants have, which is to pursue the “American dream” and provide opportunities for their children that they never had.

They worked extremely hard and accomplished all of the above. I feel because of their tough journey they end up investing much of their sense of self in their children, that when they don’t conform to their vision, it causes much conflict for both party’s.

The Parent Child Attachment

I think its safe to say that most parents identify their identity with their children and their role as a parent. Usually there will be a big disconnect between children and their parents. On a certain level they don’t want their kids to grow up, because when their kids no longer need them to survive, who are they?

Our family attachment is so strong for the simple fact that we have such a long past, we have thousands of mental images of one another, that in the end there really is no “real” relationship anymore. The relationship is only between the images, which is not the actual thing. I have an image of who my father is, and my father has his image of who I am, and through these images we see each other. So when your image no longer conforms to the image your parents have of you, it can cause great pain.

Not to toot my own horn, but I was a pretty good kid growing up. I stayed out of trouble for the most part, played sports, and did very well in school. I went to a good university and got a degree in finance. Everything was looking great as my parents saw it. Now I just needed to focus on my career, get married, have children, and my parents could pat themselves on the back for a job well done.

The only problem was that I realized the world changed, and the life my parents envisioned for me, was no longer a reality for many people my age.

I understood I really did not have much experience with the “real” world. I wanted to see the world and at the same time dedicate my energy to learning about myself and the topics that interested me.

So when I told my parents that I was quitting my job, and moving to a new country to pursue my interests, you can only imagine that it did not go over too well. My parents wondered what happened to me, they felt like I was abandoning them. They could not see that me moving overseas was not the problem, but their attachment to the image they had of the life they wanted me to have. I was doing exactly what they never expected me to do.

The Realization That Broke My Attachment

It’s been several years, and several countries later and recently I have had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders by a few deep realizations I had.

The main thing I realized was that I gave up the need of trying to have my parents understand me. I realized they will never understand, it’s impossible, the only hope is if they realize the same thing.

Once I realized this deeply, I felt a great relief of letting go of the desire that I wished my parents changed, or behaved differently.

“To understand everything is to forgive everything”- Buddha

I allowed things to be as they “are”, just accepting “what is”. I allowed myself to forgive them, because in reality they never did anything to me, they did not understand what they where doing. They where just acting as most people do, which is from their unconscious tendencies.

Because of this our relationship has transformed. My mother still has a ways to go, but on a certain level, I think she has accepted that I am someone who will follow his heart no matter what.

It is a very liberating feeling to not waste anymore energy in trying to have someone understand you. A deep contentment came with learning to accept and love my family for who they are, to no longer have my need of being understood stand between me and my parents having a relationship. It’s ok if they don’t understand me, that’s not important anymore.

What can you learn from me and my parents:

• Attachments and your sense of self: Examine what your main attachments in life are, do you derive your sense of self from them? Understand that when you see your “self” in external objects you will be in bondage to that object. Whenever that object changes or is taken away from you, you will experience deep suffering. Who you are is not in what you do, what you have, or any external object. You will only discover your self in your own inner space. If you want that new Mercedes Benz, examine why you really want it? You may come to find that its because somehow you see your identity embedded in it, and the more you invest in those mental images, the more you feel you need to have it because you feel incomplete without it.
• Allowing things to be as they “are” and accepting what “is”: We always look at things only as we think they should be, totally neglecting the actual fact and therefore can’t see the causes to our problems. Whenever your able to see something clearly as it is, in that direct perception you will go through a transformation, in that very instant you go beyond the mental obstacle you had created.

I would just like to sincerely thank you for reading my post, I hope you find something valuable in it. I would love to hear how you overcame any family issues, or any important lessons you learned about the attachments in your life. Leave your comments below, take care, and be well.

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(Video of my adventures in China)

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“There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.” - Henry Miller

What A Crazy World We Live In

Everyday we get hammered with news about bank bail outs, health care reform, war, H1N1, global warming, failing currencies, oil spills, and a hundred other issues that begs one to ask, what the hell is going on? Everywhere you look you see faces full of worry and immense anxiety. It really is becoming harder and harder to live a sane healthy life.

The world has always had its problems, but something about this time period just does not feel right. Are we in the midst of a paradigm shift that will fundamentally change everything?

Will Technology Save Us?

While the exponential rate of our technological advancements has dramatically improved the quality of life, it has also accelerated many of our problems. Technology is not the problem, it’s that we have failed to advance the world’s consciousness. The tools keep getting better, but the persons holding the tools are essentially the same if not worse.

The question is not how do we change society, that has obviously not worked, the problem is how do we change ourselves? Is it even possible for us to go through a radical transformation? I feel that many of us on a certain level know that the key to change is in our selves. But as soon as we try and look at how to change, we realize how amazingly complex we are and say that it’s hopeless.

We Need To Wake Up Before It’s Too Late

Everyone now seems to have become numb, we know things are not right but choose to look away, we have accepted that that’s just how things are. We rely on psycho analysts and other supposed authority’s to tell us who we are, what are nature is, when they themselves don’t really have a deep understanding. The media understands this and has been very effective in shaping everyone’s global beliefs, which are of course designed to serve a higher agenda. I know I may sound like a conspiracy theorist, but this is not a conspiracy anymore, it is being done out in the open, and that is a terrible sign.

To be able to stand up and say that society is wrong, and to live a life that you feel is healthy and sane takes great courage. This is also not just a reaction to society, that leads you no where. To stand up is to live a life of intelligence, a life based on your own experiences.

“When someone doesn’t have anything to lose, they lose it!” Gerald Celente

It’s a brave new world out there, pretty soon a sane healthy individual may start to look like the insane one, because he will be the minority. The problem with mob psychology is that they always feel they are the normal ones, because everyone is living in the same way, so how could it be that they are  the crazy ones?

Just remember that even if the whole world is going crazy, it doesn’t mean that you need to follow them. You need to decide that you will take full responsibility for your life and do your best to not succumb to the external pressures. Below are a few points to keep in mind that will help you stay sane in this crazy world of ours.

Living A Sane Life In an Insane World:

1.Whats is your main aim In life: This is of the up-most importance, to determine what is going to be your main and lasting interest in life. My main aim is to become a more conscious individual, and to contribute something that will inspire and uplift others.

2.Take full responsibility for your life: Realize that government and society will never give you the deep fulfillment that you dearly want. It’s rather obvious that our government ultimately serves a select few and neglects the rest of us. What happened to a government for the people by the people? As comedian George Carlin said “ It’s called the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe in it”.

3.Current events predict future trends: If you know how to look you can see the future taking shape all around you, the causes to external events are a long time in the making. Sometimes the manifestations may appear to be spontaneous but the seed was planted long ago. All the different crises that are currently going on should not come as a shock, they have been a long time coming. Take a look at all the current events, what type of future are they setting up? How are you preparing mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, and spiritually ?

4.Find or form a community that is conducive to your growth and that is based on contribution. Many of the worlds systems are collapsing, it is imperative that you have a small community that will support each other when times get tough.

5.Question everything: Routines and habits lead us to live very mechanical lives, Its important to step back and examine why are you living the way you are? Is it because this is really the way it is, or are you just trying to keep up with how society want’s you to live? The moment I began to carefully question everything, is the moment I really began to learn about myself and the world. I began to unlearn everything, because I realized it was all given to me, so I took it upon myself to become self educated on the topics I felt where important for me.

6.Meditate: Meditating is the art of learning to watch your mind. Learning to watch your mind without trying to control or suppress the content will reveal many things about your inner psychology. You will be able to see how much you really are conditioned by your environment, but more importantly you will realize not just logically, but with your whole being, that you are not your conditioning. Seeing your conditioning as an unattached witness, if you are disciplined enough, you may come to understand the causes and then be free from them.

7.Read: Read anything and everything that will help you understand yourself and the world. But remember the most important thing is to apply whatever you learn. You need to create the experiences for you to validate what you learn. Knowledge by itself has it’s definite limits, one can know a great deal and yet not be able to do anything with it.

8.Learn another language: Opens up a world of possibilities.

9.Learn basic survival skills: Modern society has made life quite easy, but we have become too dependent on it. I may be more educated than my father, but he sure has many more skills than I do. He knows how to farm, be a mechanic, and fix just about anything in the house. He is my family’s “Macgyver”, a Swiss army knife is like magic in his hands.

10.Get back to nature.

11. Travel: If you are able to do so, moving to a new country for an extended amount of time can really be an invaluable learning experience.

Parting Words

I love life, we really do live in a beautiful world of amazing diversity, but we have gone astray for quite a long time, and its time for us to wake up. The world is a constantly changing dream, so we really can’t worry about trying to change the whole thing. Just try and be the change you want to see in the world and contribute to your local community in the best way you can, be a shining example of what can be possible.

I feel that the future may be all about small local communities who will find ways to become self sustaining, by leveraging technology to its maximum, and implementing an honest money system that benefits the community and not huge corporations who solely care about the bottom line.

I would just like to thank you for reading my article, I really feel that if enough of us take responsibility for our way of life, we can really make positive changes on a big scale. But hey don’t take my word for it, I may be a little crazy

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“Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way. You become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.”- Aristotle

(Editors note: Todays guest post is by my buddie Eduard over at People Skills Decoded)

Knowing your personality can be one of the most valuable types of knowledge you possess. When you know you personality and it tendencies, you see your productivity, your confidence and your people skills advance. Which is probably part of the reason why, from paid personality assessments to coaching, there is a huge industry for helping you understand your personality.

If you do have the money, I encourage you to use these methods. They are worth it, as they can take your knowledge of your personality further and faster then you could otherwise. This being said, it’s important to realize that there are also many ways to know your personality which work very well and are also free. Here are the top 3 I encourage you to use:

1. Free online personality assessments. In the era of the Internet, although professional personality assessments are traditionally somewhat costly, you can also find many online free of charge. Not all assessments you will find free on the Internet are professional of course, some are created more for entertainment purposes, but some are actually very good and worth paying attention to. The trick is to search really well and get to those.

Do some Google research for free personality assessments, ask people on relevant forums or sites where you can find some, ask your friends who are into psychology or personal development. If you give it the right amount of dedication, I guarantee you that you’ll find some quality assessments online for free. Speaking of which, here is one such personality assessment which I often recommend, called Primary Color Assessment.

2. Getting 360 degrees feedback. One of the most effective ways to know your personality better which costs no money is to ask people who you know for feedback. Their opinions are not the truth, but if you combine enough subjective opinions others have about you and you add your own opinion, chances are you will get very close to the reality of how you are, plus how you project yourself socially.

This kind of feedback from people in different relationships with you (your boss, your colleagues, you friends etc.) is what’s known as a 360 degree feedback. Provided the people who give you feedback know you relatively well, they are honest and they give you feedback using a standard questionnaire or list of questions (which you can create by yourself), you will get some very valuable information.

3. Looking at the patterns. Let’s say you are a person who whenever has a conversation, hears a speech or tries to solve a problem, asks a lot of questions. This is a pattern: a recurring way of thinking or behaving. And each pattern you have is a reflection of certain personality traits you have. For example this pattern is probably an indication that besides being a bit annoying with all your questions, you are also analytical. You seek and you are good at understanding cause-effect relationships. I am good at this and believe me, it’s a trait worth having.

Patterns are the reason I recommend you to take a good look at yourself and notice your thinking, feelings and behaviors in various circumstances, to look for the patterns in them and to figure out the traits they reflect. It’s a priceless exercise of introspection, observation and analysis which very few people make us of.

These are the most effective methods I know for knowing yourself better without spending a dime. I’ve used them personally and I’ve also seen many of my clients use them with success. I encourage you to take each one of them and apply it. You will see your knowledge of your personality improve in a very meaningful way.

Eduard Ezeanu is a communication coach with an attitude-based approach. He helps others to improve people skills they find relevant and get top notch results. He also writes on his blog, People Skills Decoded.

“Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free”- The Shawshank Redemption

Escaping The Matrix

“Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”- Benjamin Franklin

F-R-E-E-D-O-M…ahhh…just say it out loud to yourself…just by saying it you feel an exhilarating feeling of boundlessness. This has to be the most beautiful word in any language.

Freedom is the central theme around the movie“The Shawshank Redemption”, it Is a classic film filled with wisdom and universal messages that almost everyone can relate to. I want to show what we can all learn from the movie because while most of us may not be locked up in prison, many of us are living in a prison that we are not aware of. If you are not aware that you are in a prison you will not bother in trying to escape. You may not be physically imprisoned, but psychologically we are prisoners of our minds.

Physical freedom is only one aspect of freedom, this is freedom “from”. Freedom “from” could be financial freedom, being free from a job, this is what most people associate freedom to, but this is not real freedom. It’s a start, it gives a glimpse of whats possible. This is why people who win the lottery remain unfulfilled, they are still not free of their own prison. Inner freedom cannot be given to you by anyone or any amount of money.

“To know how to free oneself is nothing; the arduous thing is to know what to do with one’s freedom”- Andre Gide

Freedom “from” is still dependent on external circumstances. You need from “for”, this is psychological inner freedom. This is having a mind free of its conditioning, free from its own limitations. Freedom “for” is the ability to respond to life without having the past or future interfere in your actions. Freedom from your incessant inner chattering. Having freedom “from” and freedom “for”, now this is ultimate freedom.

The Plot:“The film portrays the story of Andy Dufresne, a banker who spends nearly two decades in Shawshank State Prison for the murder of his wife (wrongfully sentenced). During his time at the prison, he befriends a fellow inmate, Ellis “Red” Redding and finds himself protected by the guards after the warden begins using him in his money laundering operation.” – Wikipedia.org

The Essential Wisdom of The Shawshank Redemption

• Provide service to others without expecting anything in return: Andy was a very smart person, but he was not arrogant towards others who where not on his level intellectually. He took the time to teach and empower others. He received great fulfillment in seeing one his students get his GED from prison. Serving others and being a part of their growth is one of the greatest forms of fulfillment that you can experience.
• Hope + hard work + baby steps + commitment = Freedom: Andy ultimately escapes the Shashank prison because it started with a little hope. One night In his prison cell a small part of the wall chipped off, this was the little spark of hope he needed. He then proceeds to dig a hole for the next 20+ years of his life, behind the poster of a beautiful woman.
  
  Hope: Think of the times you felt truly great, truly free, this is your hope that you know other states of “being” are possible.
  
  Hard work: study yourself all the time, study great books, practice yoga, meditate,  and find a school or group of like minded people you can work with.

  Baby steps: If you work hard enough and have a definite aim, you will create experiences for you to know that your work is paying off. If your work is real and meaningful you will change the way you feel, you will change your state of “being”.

  Commitment: You need to commit, you can’t work for one month, then take a month off. If you are not ready to commit don’t even start because then you may create even more problems for yourself.  You may even lose faith in certain methods and close yourself off from them in the future.

  When I first played around with meditation in my teenage years “I did not get it” my efforts where partial and infrequent. What I thought mediation was, was me only “thinking” I was meditating, which was not meditating at all, just a superficial feeling of calmness was as far as I got.

  It would be years until I finally understood what the great teachers meant in having a “timeless mind”. It took years to get through my layers of conditioning and previous ideas I had about meditation, until I finally got my first taste of going beyond my inner chattering. This is a journey that only continues to grow into deeper states of meditation. If I would have not stayed committed I would have never known what is possible, it was inconceivable.

• You can always be creative and continue learning even while in prison: No matter what your circumstances may be, there is always something new to learn. If you learn to become integrated within yourself, you can always find a creative solution to any of your problems.
• Making Genuine Connections: Be open to anyone new you meet, you really never know when you might meet a once in a life time friend and ally.
• Enduring Extreme Pain and Suffering: What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger, that’s if you approach things with the right attitude. If you have a definite aim in your life, it will serve as motivation for you to get back on track when you encounter obstacles in your life.
• Life is not fair: Life does not discriminate, there is neither good nor bad in the eyes of the universe, it is up to you on how you decide to approach and live your life.
• Becoming attached to your environment, even if it is a prison: Anything you become attached to will create pain when it changes or is taken away from you. Realize that if you do not have a certain understanding of how you work internally, you will always live a life of attachment. You need to live a life of awareness, so that you do not make unconscious decisions that will then become an attachment and keep you in bondage.
• On Being Institutionalized:
  “This is all he knows, In here he is somebody, out there he is nobody…(prison walls) first you hate them, then you get comfortable, then you begin to love them, you depend on them” – Ellis Redding
  
  One of the oldest inmates “Brooks” gets released after spending the majority of his life in prison. Once he has his physical freedom back, he does not know what to do with it. He has forgotten what it means to be outside of the prison walls, he doesn’t know how to function, so he decides to kill himself. This is what happens to many of us, we get comfortable with the familiar, we know we are miserable but at least its something we know.

  In his apartment he engraves “Brooks was here”, just like Brooks we all have this fear that we will not be remembered. We want to know that our lives meant something, we want people to acknowledge our existence.

  We all want to leave our mark on this planet. The best way to leave your mark is just to find work that is meaningful to you, dedicate yourself to the work, and do it in a selfless way, contributing your work for the betterment of the whole.

• Persistence: While in prison Andy had the desire to make knowledge freely available to the inmates, he wanted to start a prison library, but needed to get funding from the state. He asked the warden if he could write a letter requesting the necessary funds. Andy ends up getting his wish, it just took him six years of writing letters to the state .
  “ It only took six years, now I just might write two times a week” – Andy

• Music is Proof that there is god: When one donation to the library provides Andy with the opera “The Marriage of Figaro”, he plays it over the public address system for all the inmates to hear, well-aware of the punishment of solitary confinement he will receive for the brief moment of bliss. For the briefest of moments all the men at Shawshank felt free.

  In the movie Andy says solitary confinement was worth it because you need music so that you don’t forget there’s a place inside you “they” can’t touch. To know that something exists besides the material world.This is beautiful, meditation if done with earnestness and unshakable determination will give you the experience of this place that no one can touch.This space is being in the essence of that which is really you. Freedom is an inner phenomenon. Beautiful music is a reminder that life is illogical, that we are able to feel a reality that is beyond our minds comprehension.

• Prison Time Is Slow Time:
  “A man in prison will do almost anything to keep his mind occupied” – Shawshank Redemption

  This is not true of only people who are in jail, but all people who escape with entertainment. In your slow time learn to be with your silence, this is how you will break free from your mind. You will come to understand your mind, you will see all of its negative tendencies. If you stay in your silence long enough you will come to realize that you are not your mind.

  You will be able to see that your mind does not function in a logical manner, most of your thoughts are just random, the problem is that when our thoughts bubble up within us, we are always looking for meaning. We try and connect one thought with the next. Our minds crave certainty and always want to understand everything.

  When you are able to see that your mind does not function in a linear manner, you will stop trying to control or look for meaning in your random thought process. This leads to a great increase in energy, much energy is wasted in trying to control and suppress our thought process. This will allow you to have enough mental energy to see things as they “are”.

• Having a Timeless Mind:
  “You know what Mexicans say about the Pacific? That It has no memory” -Andy

  If you are able to experience a mind that has become empty, you will understand what it means to have a timeless mind. Your thoughts create your sense of time, all your thoughts come from memory. Freedom from your mind means freedom from your memory. This is not to say that you no longer use your memory and are in a state of amnesia, but that your memory no longer conditions and influences you in the present.

“It all just comes down to a simple decision…you get busy living or get busy dieing”- The Shawshank Redemption

• All You Need is Pressure and Time:
  “Everyman has a breaking point”

  Pressure: Freedom is your choice, but you’re going to have to work hard to get it. You have to realize what your main aim in life is, if its to discover real freedom, you are going to have to give everything you got. But first you need to realize that you are living in a prison in the first place, you need to get a glimpse of whats possible. Once you experience what true freedom tastes like, there is no going back, heaven is possible in this life time.

  Time: It takes time to change, but true change is instant. Once you re examine your relationship to time, you will see that change can happen this instant. Depending on your own level of being and understanding it may take a long time and a lot of work to get to the point where change can become instantaneous, when you are acting from a “timeless” space.

• Living With Fear:
  “I just want to be back to a place where I am not afraid all the time”- Ellis Redding

  Fear is the one thing that may be keeping you stuck in your life. You need to understand that only a mind that is free from the past is the only state of mind that is free of fear. Fear can’t exist in a mind that is grounded in the present.

“Some birds aren’t meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright”-Ellis Redding

Life is too short, make sure you realize that freedom is not something to be achieved but something that you need to rediscover. You came into this world free, now its time to spread your wings and reclaim your freedom.

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“Traveling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station.’” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

Without a doubt the number one reason why I love to travel and live abroad is because it forces me to learn more about myself. I gain a deeper understanding of myself and the world in general. Today I briefly want to describe how traveling can help you go through an inner transformation.

There comes a point in a long term travelers’ journey where they begin to question many things, they may begin to feel as if they are losing themselves.

I want to try and point out that if you do find your self in this position, to not be afraid. Being in this space is an opportunity for amazing growth. I will try and offer some guidance on what you can do to learn and expand from this experience.

How Does Traveling Help You Grow As a Person?

“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.” – Mary Anne Radmacher Hershey

Much of your experience depends on how different your environment is from what you’re used to. If I am American but move to London, sure I am going to have a great time, but the transition will be fairly painless.

Moving to a completely different country in which your clearly out of your comfort zone is key. In This type of situation you will encounter many things for which you have no reference for. This automatically puts you in a different level of awareness, you’re forced to be alert, and you can’t rely on your old knowledge. This heightened sense of awareness will allow you to see things you never saw before, in yourself and the world.

Since everything is new and if you can’t speak the language you are automatically forced to try and make sense of it all. Typically our attention and energy is going out into the world. Now if you stay watchful you will see your attention going inward.

Embarking on Your Inner Journey

For many of us we have never really looked inside ourselves. But now we have nowhere to hide, we need to look. This is the point where you will become really intimate with the ideas you have of yourself, of your ego, which you may have been really identified to, and derived your sense of self from.

Your ego is essentially your self image; it’s the mask you display to society. Your ego only survives by constantly seeking approval from that which it wants to identify with. This is the society you are raised in. Therefore all the unhappiness you experience comes from the constant battle of your ego seeking approval in the outside world.

What happens when your family, friends, and your typical environment is not there to reinforce the ideas you have of your self? They become shaky; they start to lose their grip on you. Living in the unknown your ego falls apart and the real you begins to emerge.

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.” – Alan Keightley

You will begin to challenge and question everything you have ever believed. If you don’t run away and use this as way to grow, you will see that all your beliefs belong to society, they where never really yours. This can be extremely scary, liberating, nauseating and a million other things all at the same time.

Now you may come to a point to where you feel completely lost, everything you once knew is now seen as an illusion. But simultaneously also get a tremendous feeling of freedom, freedom from all that was false. Now your journey really begins.

If you keep trucking along, losing and questioning many of your beliefs will lead you to develop trust in yourself. Trust is something society can’t give you; trust comes from your own experiences. You may even feel a new quality or type of consciousness growing in you. Keep walking my friend; this is your opportunity to live a life of awareness, a life of authenticity. You can only be authentic through your own understanding. Developing your trust will give you the courage to continually make the leap into the unknown.

The Key Skill That Traveling Can Instill is Observation

Traveling can help you to constantly be in state of observation, a watchful state. Learning to watch is the key in learning about oneself. You need to learn to be a passive observer of your mind, of your thought process. You learn that to control and suppress only leads to inner conflict. Just by constantly remaining in a state of aloofness, you will see how the number of thoughts you have naturally comes down. You will be living in a meditative state; meditation is simply the art of learning to watch.

Learning to watch you’re mind you will come to know its positive and negative tendencies, learn from them. You may even feel like you are turning on yourself. Expanding your consciousness will allow you to see your own faults; you bring them out into the light. Don’t feel bad, just by seeing them clearly they will begin to fall on there own. They where only existing because you where unconscious of them.

Developing a quite mind will allow you to catch glimpses of really being in the here and now. For the typical tourist they may be under the Eiffel Tower but they are still thinking of things from back home, along with all the anxiety that that brings. Then when they are back at home, their experience of the Eiffel Tower is vague, it’s vague because they where not really present.

Continuing Your Growth

I would advise anyone to incorporate meditation daily into there lives. If you are new to meditation as a general guideline try and meditate one minute for every year of your age. If you are 26, meditate 26 minutes daily.

If you know nothing about meditating educate your self and find something that works for you. The easiest method is “Vipassana”, which is just learning to watch your outgoing and incoming breath. Like I said earlier, mediation is the art of learning to be a detached witness, yet being very alert, having a sensitive mind.

Incorporating daily mediation will help you become more even minded, and cultivating your ability to observe and be a witness to your daily life.

I am currently working on a small yet in depth guide on how to practically practice meditation in our lives, if you would like to know when its finished sign up for my newsletter.

In traveling and living abroad learn to be with your silence. When you are bored don’t escape into entertainment like TV and internet. Remember that you don’t know how long you will be in your host country, make the most of it. Go on a walk and get lost in your city, there is always something you can be doing and learning.

If you are thinking of traveling abroad, I hope that I inspired you to go on a quest of personal growth. Wishing you the best….God Speed my friend.

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P.S. Check out the new travel blog flightster which is shaping up to be a great resource for travel enthusiasts.

Thank you for stopping by “The Extraordinary Self Development Blog” of  Ivan Campuzano

Its Time To Spread A Little Love

Let me ask you a question, how do you feel when a stranger stares at you? Are you at ease or do you feel uncomfortable?

Currently I am living in Busan, South Korea where I can run around all day and not see another foreigner. I stick out like a sore thumb. Being in an environment where everyone is constantly staring at you as if you are an exotic species, you quickly learn to not let it bother you.

I meditate a lot so I am always trying to live my day to day life from a very meditative and mindful state. This is to try and live from the deepest part of my inner being, the part that remains totally unfazed with the outside world. I can be in a totally crammed subway, yet feel completely at ease, even If I have someone breathing down my neck, inside I am 100 feet away.

“Our task must be to free ourselves…by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.” - Albert Einstein

Its like being in the world, but not of it, just a witness to the miracle that is our planet. Living from this space one feels an overwhelming sense of love, of oneness, and consequently you feel it overflow and exit through your eyes.

It’s All In The Eyes

Next time you find your self on the subway or any other public place, try and find that place inside you that is utterly still, and from that place look out into the world. Feel the love inside, don’t think just feel, feel the boundaries between you and the world melt.

Look at someone simply, which is to not let your thoughts come between that which you are observing, otherwise you are only seeing an image your mind constructed and not the thing you are seeing. You are seeing something conceptually not actually. You are not making contact with it, when you are seeing something simply you are making a direct connection with it.

This is seeing in a loving way, you can observe this within yourself. Anytime you see a beautiful flower, a bird dancing on a branch, or a beautiful sunset you are doing it in a loving way. The energy and quality of your look is different.

Today when I was sitting on the subway I caught an older gentleman starring at me, I starred back because I welcomed it. I looked at him simply and just smiled, he smiled back…we kept looking and right when he felt my look was penetrating him, he blushed then looked away and broke contact.

The Doorways To Our Souls

Our eyes are really doorways to our souls, this is why its rude to stare at people, they feel like you are invading their space, their privacy, that you are trying to take a peek at their deepest darkest secrets. But since I am trying to be open to the world, I welcome it. When you make a connection with someone through the eyes it’s as if you merge into each other, but it happens so quick that many of us just brush it off.

This also doesn’t have to turn into an awkward experience, just look out into the world in a loving way. You can make a tiny connection with a random stranger on the street in a split second. Just spreading a little love. You will immediately know the people who where open and receptive to it. You can tell right away when someone is getting uncomfortable, so just look away. If they welcome it, send your silent love and intention through your eyes, all this can happen in less than a second. If you don’t do this already, just try it, I would love to hear about your experience in the comments.

Just learn to constantly be In a state of observation. You will see that if you know how to look, a persons eyes can tell you a lot about them and the way they are feeling.

Just want to thank you for taking the time to read my post. I hope you found it insightful and that it inspires you to spread a little love.

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