SplinkerNewsMax

ALONE

2017-08-18T10:25:00.002-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for telling it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

Donald Trump is friends with many, many people. He knows the best people. Smart people.

I wonder what kind of person appears smart to a man like Trump. We know that the tend to be shy, often avoiding media without a hood. We know that many are bi-lingual, and that many have a fierce love for culture that magically resides in bronze statues.

We also know, who aren't in Trump's circle of friends, as of today:

1. Steve Bannon is out. No one is sure if this is a good thing, or if it matters. Trump and Bannon basically created each other. Why Bannon recently told a reporter that Trump and Kim were two blundering fools, and undercut Trump's foreign policy statement, is anyone's guess.

2. Sean Spicer
3. Reince Priebus

4. No more job councils. No more infrastructure council (which was formed by one of Trump's beautiful executive orders). Why? Why would they leave him?
Because they have shareholders to answer to. Who wants to explain to shareholders why they are working for a white nationalist? Not me!

What does this mean? Well, it means that all those lovely announcements about companies bringing back jobs into America are going to be a much rarer occurrence. Even to the extent they were genuine, and they were largely bullshit, Trump no longer has any capital to negotiate such deals with our heads of industry. So that's a major agenda promise that Trump has made much more difficult because of his declining mental faculties and his desire to fight instead of lead.

5. After Trump confessed his love for white culture, coupled with his reviving a fake story about Gen. Pershing to promote illegal acts on Muslims, his generals have pretty much abandoned him. All five heads of the Armed Forces made a bold statement in denouncing racism, in response to Trump's embracing it. Trump may love generals, but as of yesterday, none of them would bother to wipe their asses with his toupee.

Trump really is isolated now, more or less. I think this will mean more unbalanced behavior, more outrageous tweets, more anger, more dementia.

Do I exaggerate? No. Not today.

Here's something else to think about. What does Trump do when the next KKK rally gets ugly? When the next act of domestic terrorism is dumped on his doorstep? How does a president, who has pissed away every last drop of his moral authority, address a moral crisis?

The answer is, poorly.

THE SPEECH WE NEEDED TO HEAR

2017-08-15T09:31:00.004-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for telling it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

So here we are. We have a president who has to be dragged kicking and screaming to the podium, to say "Nazi's bad."

Here's what he should have said:

"I am here today to apologize to the nation. I was raised in a world where "white nationalism" was considered a good thing. As many of you know, my father, a man who I have always respected and loved, was arrested at a Klu Klux Klan rally, many years ago.

It's no secret that my father, and later myself, ran many businesses, where we discriminated against black tenants, or black people who wanted to become tenants in our buildings.

Later in my life, I called for the death penalty of five young black men. After serving many years in prison, they were cleared of their crime. They were innocent. But even then, to my great shame, I did not apologize for my words, or for taking out the full page ad calling for the death penalty.

I wish I could say I learned my lesson then, but we all know that I did not. I promoted - and lied about - the birther conspiracy regarding President Obama. Of course, I knew this conspiracy theory was false. And I, of course, knew this was another dog whistle to appease the worst elements in what is now known as the "Alt Right" movement. My words and actions were designed to increase distrust of the President, and allow people with hatred in their hearts - hatred for a man because of the color of his skin - to bring their prejudice into mainstream politics and society.

For all this, I am deeply sorry.

This Saturday, a White Nationalist committed an act of domestic terrorism, and I was silent. For two days. Last week, a mosque in Minneapolis was bombed, and I was silent.

All this, I have done to my greatest shame. I placed what I thought was best for my image, over my duty and obligation to the country. In so doing, I failed the American people, and have injured the country that I promised to serve and protect.

No more. From this day forward, I will not act to clothe ANY hate group, Neo Nazi, White Nationalist, the Klan, or any other, in a false cloak of legitimacy. Instead, I pledge to work with all communities to unite, rather than divide this country. I have, I know, broken many promises to the American people. But, if the American people are willing to give me one more chance, this promise I will keep.

Thank you.

WE'RE BACK!

2017-08-13T07:03:00.001-07:00

As many of you know, SplinkerNewsMax was a defendant in an imaginary lawsuit, financed by the Koch brothers, accusing our organization of engaging in a campaign to defame the #sickorangetwist currently defiling the Whitehouse. The case was thrown out in July, when we proved that we invoked the Jared defense, and proved we were way too disorganized to wage a campaign against the president.

So, we're back! When we last posted, the country was drowning in Day 141 of the Don-pranos. Since then, we've seen:

1. Spicer denied a rose;
2. A Moochie roofied and carted away in the dead of night;
3. One Trump lawyer disappear after engaging in a drunken twitter rant.
4. Reince Priebus sent to bed without supper and forbidden to play Chief of Staff anymore;
5. Paul Manafort place his nuts in Mueller's cracker;
6. Trump trying to fire his own cracker AG;
7. The nationalist, white power parties try to push Gen. McMaster out of his position as National Security Adviser.
8. A second Grand Jury.
9. Trump tweeting about anything he can think of to distract us from his criminal activity, including lying about his reasons for trying to deny transgender people the right to serve in uniform, lying about telephone calls with Mexico, the Boy Scouts, and Australia.
10. Leaks that confirm the president whined to Mexico that they can't say they won't pay for the wall, because that will hurt him politically.
11. Throwing his Sec. of State under the bus, by having an off-off-broadway actor named Gorka, come out and say to listen to Tillerson about military matters is nonsensical.
12. Diplomats playing Trump Bingo, where they get points whenever he uses one of the 28 words he still remembers.
13. Trump deciding to out Kim, Kim.
14. Russia expelling 750 diplomatic personnel, and Trump thanking Putin for saving us money.
15. The largest white nationalist, Nazi, KKK march in my memory, capped by a white nationalist running over 19 people and the president still refusing to simply say, "White Nationalists are scum."
16. Rumors that Eirc Trump has hacked the parental block code on his cable TV.

That's a lot! And only what we can recall before the first cup of coffee.
And we're exhausted!

SNAPPLE FACT: Trump is a terrible poker player. All he does is bluff. Every. Single. Time.

That's it!
Maybe we'll catch our breath tomorrow and delve into a few things. Like: the lawsuits against Trump by two ethic watchdog groups, the possibility that N. Korea has been Trumped up for ratings, what it means when your president requires a propoganda folder - twice a day - to make him think he's doing a good job, and all kinds of interesting things!

It's 10:00 a.m.
Good morning!

Day 141: QATAR, HANNITY, INSANITY AND LEAKS!

2017-06-10T11:09:00.003-07:00

IT'S TRUMP!!!!

Back in January, an ethics watchdog group filed a lawsuit against Donald, alleging that the president is in violation of the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution. Basically, foreign powers funnel money through Trump hotels and restaurants in order to corrupt the president and influence his actions.

SPOILER ALERT: IT WORKS!

The Justice Department has now filed a motion to dismiss, arguing the plaintiffs don't have standing to bring the federal law suit (basically saying they can't prove damages), and that their interpretation of the Emoluments Clause if wrong. Plaintiffs have a month or so to file a response, and then we'll see what the Court has to say.

Just keep in mind, all this is because Trump is an unethical, lying, cheat who refused to sell his assets and put the proceeds in a blind trust. (A blind trust means that you have an impartial individual, like Fred's Bank, invest your money without telling you where it is).

After he accidentally won the election, Trump decided that corruption was more important than removing even the appearance of ethical violations from the office of the President. Instead of doing the right thing, our President has chosen to profit from the office, hide his tax returns, and continue to use his public position and power to increase his family's wealth.

THE PRESS CONFERENCE!

Yesterday, Trump held a brief joint press conference with the President of Romania

There were only a few questions asked, but a helluva lot of bombshells. Let's look at them in some detail.

COMEY!!

Trump said that Comey lied under oath and that Comey completely vindicated him.

(Editor's note: We wanted to play the clip where Faye Dunaway gets slapped in Chinatown, but our crack investigative team couldn't find it. Did you guys know the Blockbuster Video closed??)

Like the English language, Trump uses words he understands and throws away the rest. Comey admitted that he told Trump he was not personally under investigation (SPOILER ALERT: HE IS NOW). He also said Trump asked him to let the Flynn matter go, that Trump told Sessions, Pence and some other guy to leave the room before asking, and that Trump fired Comey because Trump didn't like the way he was handling the Russian investigation.

Guess which parts of Comey's testimony Trump says are true, and which are lies.

Trump also said that he would testify, under oath, that he never asked Comey for a loyalty pledge or asked him to drop the Flynn investigation.

SPOILER ALERT: Trump will never, never, never willingly testify under oath.

The above were the big headline bombshells that everyone talked about yesterday. But there were also two others, that are barely getting a nod from the media.

First, Trump lied about his meeting with the Romanian President. Trump was asked if they had discussed making it easier for Romanian's to get HB1 VISA's, so that more could enter the U.S.

Trump answered that they hadn't discussed the issue. Then Romaina's top guy immediately corrected our President, saying that they had indeed discussed it, and the visa program was very important to Romania. Okay, I know that doesn't SOUND like a bombshell. But either the President thought he could get away with a lie, or he simply forgot what the two leaders were talking about. Either way, WTF?

The last, and I think biggest bombshell, was Trump throwing the State Department under the bus, AGAIN, when he praised the Arab Gulf coalition for it's blockade of Qatar. Trump took Qatar to task again, for funding terrorism, saying it had to stop and that this was all happening thanks to his meeting with the Gulf states a few weeks ago.

He said all this, about two hours after Sec. Rex Tillerson had made a rare public statement how our friend Qatar was being hurt by the blockade, and for the sake of it's citizens, everyone should work to lift the diplomatic blockade.

Qatar, as you may know, is what diplomats like to call a "lynchpin ally" in the fight against terrorism. They allow us to have a military base there, which is vital in fighting ISIS. Yes, they also fund terrorism. As does Saudi Arabia. That's one of the things that make this a complicated world. But Trump is a simple man.

When he took credit for the Gulf States kicking Qatar out of the group, it was reported that he didn't know or "forgot" we had a military base there, or that, whatever else Qatar is, they are an ally in our fight with ISIS.

Here's something else to think about. A long time ago, we had a man named Ronald Reagan in the White House. Ronald or his State Department didn't do their homework about a country called "Lebanon." The U.S. gov't took sides with one faction. So the other faction blew up an army barrack, killing 241 U.S. Soldiers, 58 French soldiers and 6 civilians. Then, we were noobies when it came to mid-east politics. We jumped in without knowing who all the players were. And BOOM!.

We're not noobies now. We just have a noobie president. Trump has widened the rift between Sunnis and Shias. This is a foreign policy decision and you can argue whether or not it's a good one. It's contrary to Obama's efforts, which sought to establish some ties and trust with Iran. That pissed off people like Saudi Arabia. And that always needs to be factored in when making decisions in the mid-east.

Now, you are free to disagree with Obama's strategy. But I doubt anyone things Obama didn't put any thought into it.

Who here think's Trump knows what he's doing when it comes to Qatar?

Who here think's Trump has made our country safer?

Who hear has read the plan to defeat ISIS that we were promised?

And now, it's time for SplinkerNewsMax's new segment:

SEAN HANNITY IS WRONG

Here's how we play. I agree to watch Sean Hannity until he says something wrong, and then I call him out on it. Now, before we start, full disclosure. The last time I watched Hannity, he was yelling at Mr. Slave for forty minutes. A/k/a Alan Colmes. But, I'm betting Hannity is so full of shit, he could be president.

So, I'm going to go on youtube right now and watch last night's show until I find something he's wrong about. You guys wait here.

Okay! I got about two paragraphs into last night's transcript. It's around there that Hannity accuses James Comey of violating the law when he gave his unclassified notes to a friend with instructions to release them to the press. Hannity isn't alone in getting this wrong, of course. Hayes, from the NC GOP: "It is a matter of national security when disgruntled employees leak classified information, which is exactly what Comey admitted to doing with his notes."

Except there was no leak of classified information and it is not illegal to give unclassified information that belongs to you, to someone else. Even if you were the FBI Director. Comey was a private citizen when this happened and the notes are his.

Let's step back for a second. Trump fires Comey. Trump Tweets that Comey better hope Trump didn't tape their conversation. Comey remembers his memos and makes sure that we get to know about them. The memos contain no classified material, and were written within minutes of every meeting Trump had with Comey. They confirm that Trump asked him for a loyalty oath, cleared the room and privately asked Comey to drop the Flynn matter. Okay. Those are the memos we are talking about.

Why didn't the memo contain classified information, you may ask. "My thinking was if I write in such a way that I don’t include anything that’ll trigger a classification, that will make it easier to discuss within FBI and government," saith Comey. Good for him!

Here's another fun fact: The Memo itself was not leaked. The press did not print a copy of it. Only that it existed and the substance of at least part of what it contained.

And then we have to discuss the issue of Trump and his people possibly violating the Whistleblower statute. Under law, private citizens who leak unclassified information for the protection of our country are protected.

Trump's lawyer stated they are considering on asking the DOJ to launch an investigation into Comey's release of the unclassified memo. If they do that, Trump may be violating the law. If you want to read the article I stole most of this information from, CLICK HERE

If you want to read about stories that are only slightly less believable than what is going on with our country, CLICK HERE!!!

That's it! I know I promised a new segment, Queer Eye For The Orange Guy, but that has been delayed until tomorrow, due to technical difficulties and my incredibly short attention span.

It's 2:10 pm.

GOOD MORNING!

A QUICK POST COMEY COMMENT

2017-06-09T06:00:00.003-07:00

When it didn't go away, Trump fired him.

2. The reason Comey felt compelled to go public with the Clinton E-mail investigation was largely due to Bill Clinton's meeting with then Attorney General, Loretta Lynch. And that Loretta had previously asked Comey to refer to the investigation as a beautiful sunrise, or something like that.

Obviously, the hearing was more complicated than that. Comey came out and called the president a liar, confirmed that Trump defamed Comey and the FBI, and that, based on the president's own words, he believed he was fired because Trump didn't like the way he was handling the Russian investigation.

But, the real import of yesterday's testimony had less to do with facts, and more with reaction. Did Comey's testimony push any republicans to finally admit the president is a danger to our country and that it's time to take a serious look at impeachment.

The answer is no.

Paul Ryan explained that the President is a poor babe in the woods, who didn't understand the clear lines of division and protocol between the DOJ, the FBI and the White House, and almost all Republicans agreed with him.

The GOP is betting that the American people's stupidity is only surpassed by their capacity to forgive.

I'm not a president. I love Pauly Shore movies and my favorite comedian is Carrot Top. The last book I read was "The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife." (There are no shortage of crappy books out there. Don't believe me? THEN CLICK HERE )

Still, even I know that sending your attorney general out of the room and telling the director of the FBI you hope he can drop an investigation, crosses every fucking line of protocol you can think of.

Paul Ryan and his party have decided that, unless someone gives Trump a box of matches and the president literally burns the White House down to the ground, they are going to ignore his behavior, actions and words, and try to pass some legislation. Then they'll worry about the PR.

It's a terrible bet.

So, they'll start shouting about Loretta Lynch and Comey's credibility. It will sound laughable to anyone who's paying attention. (I don't remember Loretta firing Comey when he didn't stop calling the investigation and investigation). And Trump will continue to be plagued by leaks and his foot and mouth.

That's not exactly all true, however. There are a few major tipping points that started to tip yesterday.

First, it is now crystal clear that the investigation has expanded from candidate Trump 2016 to Transition AND president Trump 2017. In light of this, it is hysterical that Trump and his hired mouthpiece are claiming vindication.

Yes, Comey confirmed that the president was not personally under investigation at the time of their meetings. But it was also made clear that, given the type of counter-intelligence investigation the FBI was conducting, that was likely to change. And it obviously has.

The investigation into Russia's interference in the election, and possible collusion with the Trump campaign, is now an investigation into Trump's attempt to obstruct justice, and actions he has taken as President, including his reasons for firing Comey.

And there is the issue of the special counsel and why we have Twitter to thank for it. When Trump fired Comey, he explained, in writing that it was because of how Comey handled the Clinton investigation. Take a second to LOL on that one. He also said he appreciated being told by Comey that he was not under investigation - three times.

Then, apparently fearing Comey's response, the president tweeted that Comey better hope he didn't have "tapes" of their conversations.

Yesterday, Comey testified that when he heard of that tweet, he remembered the contemporaneous memos he had of their nine conversations. Thinking Trump might have evidence (the "tapes") that would back up the facts in his own memos, Comey arranged to have some of them released to the press.

And that information was the basis of the the Deputy AG appointing a special counsel.

So, thank's Don!

That's it!
It's 8:58 A.M.

DAY 140: THE COMEY RETURNS!

2017-06-08T06:08:00.003-07:00

DAY 140!

COMEY'S TESTIMONY VINDICATES TRUMP!

Trump, his personal attorneys, Jeffrey Lord and 28% of all psycho ward patients, believe Trump was 100% vindicated by Comey's release of his opening remarks in today's hearing. In Trump's case, that mistaken conclusion is understandable, as he only read whatever three sentences someone else highlighted for him. But for the rest of the world, not so much.

First, Comey confirms that Trump did, in fact, ask him to lay off the Flynn investigation - several times.

Oops.

Comey goes on to say that Trump asked him to take a loyalty pledge. Comey promised honesty. That's not something you want to hear after you just brought your date an expensive valentine's day dinner.

Those are probably the two biggies of the seven page statement. Of course, there are other interesting details. Like how Comey felt so uncomfortable, he started writing down the details of his meeting as soon as he was in the car after Trump tried getting a home run on their first date.

Or how he implored Jeff Sessions not to leave Trump alone in the room with him.

Or how Trump asked Comey if he wanted to keep his job, and implied it would be a good thing for Comey's job career if he made the investigation go away.

Or how obsessed Trump was with the allegations that hooker's peed on him when he was in Russia.

So, vindicated? Maybe not. At this point, he'll be lucky if he even has friends at Fox News left. (A sock puppet can dream, can't they?).

Now, let's take a ride down memory lane, all the way to June 7, 2017. It was then that DNI Coats and Admiral Rogers decided they did not have to answer to the House Intelligence Committee. They were asked, no less than twenty-thousand times yesterday afternoon, if the President of anyone else had conversations with them about killing the Flynn or Russia investigation. They refused to answer in open court, while admitting that the answer did not deal in classified information.

The people they refused to provide answers too, are the people who they report too, under law. But they still said no, no, no, no, no. A thousand times no.

That's not good. They pissed off a lot of democrats and republicans yesterday. Maybe someone who is smarter than me can tell us if this was unprecedented.

Okay! That's it for now. Time to turn log on to amazon! and buy a good book! And then it's Comey time!

It's 9:01 a.m.

Good morning!

DAY 137: THE COMEY PRE-GAME SHOW!

2017-06-07T10:37:00.002-07:00

So. Eric Trump holds golf tournaments for a children's cancer charity. He's been doing it for years, and successfully raising a lot of money. He assures his donors that almost every penny they donate, goes right to the children, because the golf course and most vendors have donated their time

But...

Dad starts taking notice of how much money Eric's charity is raising. It's a lot! "Why aren't I getting any of this money?" Donald thinks. So he starts charging Eric money to hold his charity golf tournament/fundraiser at his club. A lot of money. A lot more money than experts can attribute to paying for a golf tournament. Some people would call this disgusting, or at the very least, question the president's views on charity. I mean, what kind of douchebag sees his son doing good works, and decides to make an obscene profit off of it? Pretty shitty, right?

On at least one occasion, Trump had the Trump foundation pay $100,000 Dollars to Eric's charity. Good for Eric! Free money! Charity! YAY! Now, remember, that money is not from Trump. It's money that people donated to the Trump Foundation, so that the Foundation could do good things, like donate to Eric's children with cancer charity! Good for the people! Good for the Trump foundation! But...

Then Eric's charity gives the money back to Trump, as payment or partial payment for holding the event at Trumps resort. And where does that money go? Back to the Trump Foundation? LOL! NO!

Trump had his charity donate money to another charity, so that charity could put the same money directly in Trump's pocket.

That is our president.

LET'S TALK RUSSIA!: The White House is confirming that Trump won't invoke the non-existent executive privilege to stop former FBI Director James Comey from testifying Thursday. Some are speculating that he has something else up his sleeve.

Too late!!

Let's take (another) moment to go over the list of things we actually know about Russia, Trump, and the Trump campaign, so we can really appreciate tomorrow's hearing.

Remember.
There's the Russian attempt to influence the election (undisputed by everyone except Putin and Trump).

There's the Trump Administration's attempt to cover up something (undisputed by everyone except Putin, Trump and Uncle Ralph).

There's the collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. This one is still all smoke and only a little fire, but we're getting there.

Here's a cheat sheet for the three legs of the Trump/Russia shit show:

RUSSIA'S ATTACK ON DEMOCRACY:
1. All 17 of our intelligence communities have concluded that Russia did in fact interfere with the 2016 election, in an effort to hurt Clinton and get Trump elected.

2. Putin says this is nonsense, and that American's need to get a life. He also sang a verse of "Don't worry, be happy" (That's actually true).

3. The day after Putin issued this smackdown, a young woman named Reality Winner, was arrested for leaking confidential information. The information she leaked basically stated that Russian hackers tried to directly hack into voter registrations at various places. This is a different level of election influence. One that could have potentially prevented people from voting. There's no proof that they were successful (as far as the public now knows).

4. Russia has done the same thing to other countries. Yesterday, it was reported that Russia planted a fake news story in Qatar's official website that heaped praise on Iran and said a few other things, and that this is partially responsible for the rest of the Gulf states severing diplomatic ties with Qatar. FUN FACT: Trump bragged that it was his trip that helped the Gulf states take such decisive action, apparently forgetting that Qatar is a key U.S. ally in our fight against ISIS! Oops! Guess he really stepped in covfefe on that one.

THE COVER UP:
1. Trump's transition team knew Flynn was a security risk and subject to blackmail. Flynn was an unregistered foreign agent and apparently warned the transition team about this before he was made National Security Adviser. Trump's administration tried to cover this all up, and only fired Flynn after the press reported it. Then they didn't say anything about their past knowledge of Flynn's actions for five months, until the press reported it again.

2. Mike Pence was the head of the transition team when they hired Flynn. He received a letter from Congress expressing concern about Flynn's ties to Russia (and Turkey), before Trump and Pence took office. Pence ignored it, until the press got wind of it. He backed up Flynn's story that he had never spoken to the Russian ambassador about sanctions. Until the press reported otherwise. Then he said that "this is the first I've heard of it."

3. Mike's lie became compounded when Sally Yates, the former acting Attorney General, testified under oath that she had gone to the White House on two occasions and had three telephone calls about Flynn and his being subject to blackmail, because of his lying about the sanction conversations. Trump fired her about a day later. We now know that the president already knew about Flynn's vulnerabilities. He just didn't care.

4. Jeff Sessions lied, under oath, during his confirmation as Attorney General, when he denied having any conversations with the Russian ambassador. Then we learned, from the press, that he had also lied about this on his security clearance forms. Jeff Sessions recused himself from anything having to do with the Russia investigation, because he got caught.

Jared Kushner had meetings with Kislyak and a strange russian banker. A banker from VEB bank, that was under American sanctions. We don't know what was discussed. The White House says it was diplomacy, the bank says it was business. What we do know is that the conversations happened when the country was aware of Russia's interference in our election, and that Jared failed to disclose these meetings on HIS national security clearance application.

Former FBI director testified that he was investigating possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. Trump fired Comey, and confirmed that he did so because of the "Russia thing."

When he fired Comey, Trump stated in writing that Comey had told him three times that Trump wasn't being investigated. Comey disputed that. Trump threatened Comey with tweets indicating that he had tapes of their conversations. Comey let it be known that he has memos that were written shortly after each of their conversations. We're going to hear a bit about this tomorrow.

Later, Trump invited Kislyak and the Russian foriegn minister into the oval office, because Putin asked him to "What am I going to say? No?" where he disclosed top secret information provided to our intelligence agencies by Israel, called Comey a "nutjob" and bragged about the pressure of the Russia investigation being over. (Boy, did he get that last one wrong).

Yesterday, it was reported that Trump asked Coats, the Director of National Intelligence, if he could get Comey to lay off the Flynn and Russia investigation. Today, the Director testified he won't discuss conversations he had with the president in the open, but he didn't deny that he had those conversations.

The pattern here is simply this. The White House has done everything it can to hide almost every contact it's people and/or Trump campaign people had with the Russians. Why? Why not just come out and say we met with them and here's what we discussed? I'll tell you way. Because it's a major COFVEVE! I mean cover up!

THE SMOKE!: Is there collusion? Uncle Ralph wants to know! Very quickly:
1. We know the Trump administration was seriously considering returning two buildings to Russia, which the Obama administration evicted them from as part of the sanctions against the country for influencing our election. We know that Trump was going to do that without getting any concessions from Russia in return.

2. We know that Trump has financial ties to Russian money, if we are to believe his son. He don't exactly what they are, because he still has not released his tax returns.

3. We know that the details of the Russian attack make it highly likely that they were getting help from Americans. They fact that they knew where to release fake news, which counties to troll in which swing states, etc. That kind of stuff. This was a highly efficient, target specific act of cyberwar and it's doubtful they could have done this on their own.

4. We have intercepted communications between Russians discussing how they thought they could use Flynn as lever to influence Trump. Is that disinformation or true? Don't know. But it's smoke.

5. There's the inexplicable decision of the Trump campaign to insist the GOP remove from it's party platform, the condemnation of Russia for invading Ukraine, and providing Ukraine lethal assistance. It's the one thing Trump's people insisted on. There is reporting that Trump himself was involved in that decision.

6. There's Trump inexplicable refusal to criticize Putin, and his inexplicable willingness to attack our NATO allies, refuse to reaffirm our commitment to the treaty, attack Angela Merkel, and the entire EU. etc.etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
Trump repeatedly throws our allies under the bus and gives Putin an all access pass to Disneyworld.

The smokey assumption is that, in exchange for Trump focusing on NATO (in a bad way), and looking the other way on all things Russia, Putin agreed to help him win an election.

OKAY! That should catch us up enough for tomorrow morning's fireworks! Oops. I forgot the part about his buddy, Roger Stone, telling us Podesta's time was coming, a week or so before Wikileaks released all his emails, the release of the emails coming whithin hours of the Access Hollywood tapes about the pussy-grabber-in-chief, Trump's repeated call on Wikileaks to keep up the good work, and a slew of other things my weak mind can't recall at the moment. (Manafort, Carter Page, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross's connection to Russian money launderers, Deutsche Bank, the Palm Beach 60 Million profit real estate deal....

And I forgot about today's self promotion! CLICK AND BUY!

It's 12:30 p.m.
Good morning!

Day 134: IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE!

2017-06-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE!

I have nothing against religion. But I can't understand how my angry Uncle Ralph believes that a virgin gave birth to God, so that he could die on a cross and wash away the unforgivable sin of being the children of a woman who stole a piece of fruit - can't believe that Climate Change is real.

As you know, Trump played Big Boss a few days ago and announced that the U.S. is out of the Paris Accord.

Yesterday, I tried to explain how this decision has helped make Trump the No. 1 job killer in the United States. What I didn't mention, is that the leaders in the clean energy sector, a sector that has been outpacing the rest of our economy by leaps and bounds, is largely being developed in states that didn't vote red. Now, I am not saying that Trump is willing to put the world at risk for the sake of his voting base, but at the very least, it is obvious that Trump is willing to put the world at risk for the sake of his voting base.

I know it seems silly to devote even a single word to Trump's latest lies. But right now Uncle Ralph is posting funny meme's about snowflakes running around screaming doom and gloom over the latest decision to withdraw from the world stage. He's drudging up every extreme left wing utterance his friends at the gateway pundit can come up with to bolster his belief that Trump is a leader and that Climate Change is a hoax. So I thought I should at least discuss a few of the "facts" Trump read off his "destroy the world" pop-up book in the Rose Garden a few days ago.

FUN FACT: Trump refuses to say if he still believes Climate Change is a hoax perpetuated by China to help them gain an unfair trade advantage. Can you imagine a president pulling out of the biggest Climate Change agreement and being afraid to tell people what he thinks about Climate Change? Well, you can now!

Okay. When Trump stood up and told the world to fuck off, he backed up his decision to completely screw U.S. jobs, voters, and people who enjoy breathing, with a bunch of old, tired conservative talking points, and studies funded by the fossil fuel industry. Are you shocked?

Here are the highlights of what he said and why they are wrong:

1. The Paris Agreement would make America the laughingstock of the world.
That's wrong for a lot of reasons, but mostly because Trump has already accomplished that.

2. The Agreement would cost America 2.7 Million jobs.
3. China and India could build as many coal plants as they wanted.
4. The U.S. would have to close it's coal factories.
5. Energy prices would skyrocket.
6. Factories would close.
7. The Seventh Seal would be broken, ushering in the apocalypse.
8. Our country would be subject to continuous blackouts and brownouts.

Scary stuff. I mean, that's like orange president scary. Why on God's green earth (hint hint) would that uneducated, America hating Obama agree to all that??

Let's look at the sausage.

Trump stated that in about 30 years, the agreement would cost the U.S. 3 Trillion Dollars, cost us 6.7 million industrial jobs, and reduce everyone's household income by $7,000.00. Now, he didn't say it would affect our access to free internet porn, but it was definitely implied.

Where did those terrifying numbers come from? The report was written by some group named NERA. And who hired them to write the report? A pro-business think tank and and a group formed by gas and coal companies. Shocked?

The truth is that virtually every study on the economic effects of the Paris Accord is funded either by big oil or by big environment. Switching to clean energy and reducing our carbon foot print will cost money. How much it will cost is a matter of conjecture. It is virtually certain, however, that the next big industry (and job creator), is in clean energy. It will certainly generate more jobs than fossil fuels. Trump's action this week just made that a whole lot harder for the U.S., and a whole lot easier for China.

And don't kid yourself about coal mines. They are making a comeback the way Uncle Ralph is recovering from his last stroke. Yes, he can feed himself applesauce again, but half of it still ends up in his lap.

Trump mentioned coal mines opening up again, and how he was invited to a big coal mine opening later this month. That "big mine" is going to be responsible for hiring 70 workers. Woo hoo. There are no business guys running around saying "let's build more coal mines!" Don't expect that to change.

And China? Yes, it's the major polluter (followed by us). But it's also making major steps in green energy. In fact, it's green energy grid is expected to be as large as our current energy grid. China has also pledged $3.1 Billion in aid to climate vulnerable countries. That's $100 million more that the U.S. pledged and has now reneged on.

Funny thing about giving money to countries. They tend to be more open to entering favorable trade deals with you. African countries, for example, have quite a lot of interesting things to trade.

As for the actual climate, Trump said an MIT report said even if we did everything under the agreement, it would result in a reduction of only 2/10ths of 1%. But MIT called Bullshit on that statement, saying it would reduce the temp. by .6 to 1.1 degree Celsius. I'm American, so I don't know what that means in real temp., but it sounds pretty good!

There's more half-truths and outright lies, but my fingers are getting tired. SO...

THAT'S IT!
Good morning. It's 11:00 a.m.
#ParisAccord
#sickorangetwist
#jobs

Day 133: THE JOB KILLER AND CHIEF

2017-06-02T06:59:00.002-07:00

Trump gave the finger to the world yesterday, officially abdicating his role as leader of the free world, and pulling out of the Paris Climate accord. He stood there and lied to the country, promising that doing so would be better for American Jobs. Then EPA dickwad, Scott Pruit stood up and praised Trump like he was Moses come down from the mountain, and never (or barely) even mentioned the environment or climate change.

Between 3 p.m. and 4 p.m. on June 1, Trump declared that jobs in clean energy would take a back seat to jobs in coal. If you were wondering why the earth shook a little, it was because 1.4 billion Chinese people were jumping up and down cheering.

I probably can't do a great job in explaining why Trump's latest attempt to distract us from the investigations into the behavior of his campaign, administration and his person, is terrible for the U.S. economy, but I'll give it a shot.

First, as admission. It is a fact that wind and solar power today cost more to generate than coal power. Here are two other facts to keep in mind: 1. It is a virtual certainty that clean energy can create far more jobs, and money, than coal and oil.

And 2. In order to do so in America, the clean energy industry needs assurances and subsidies from the government to get the process in full swing.

And 3. Yesterday, Trump attempted to pull that assurance out from under the feet of big business. And they hate him for that.

Let's circle back to point #2 for a second. Government support for clean energy. Why is it important.

To answer that question, we need to take a journey back in time. Well, we don't really need to do that. I could just say that the more assurances big business has that it will make a profit, the more venture capital and investment in the industry you get. But let's go back in time anyway.

To the current energy grid. Now, I don't want to say how far back in time we're going, because I'd have to google it, and I'm in a hurry. But the U.S. energy grid works something like this. Companies build power plants and get paid for generating power, so that you can log on your computer and read blogs like this, and purchase fantastic books LIKE THESE! (Click here) .

Now, imagine you are in the power plant business, and you are being asked to build a plant that will cost you ...

Except it's a lot closer to $2 Billion Dollars. That's a lot of Dollars! In a complete free market, building a two billion dollar power plant would be very risky. A two week price war with your competitor could put you out of business. Or demand might be a little weaker than you anticipated and BAM! You're going door to door selling Cutco knives.

That's why the kilowatt prices are negotiated with the government. The government tells the power company how much it is allowed to sell its energy for, and promises that it will not have to worry about selling it for less.

And that's how we have a power grid. The promise of a specific profit frees up the capital a company needs to build a two billion dollar power plant.

Now, when we know coal and other fossil fuels are putting the lives of 100s of millions at risk, we have the opportunity to invest in a solution. Our government can give political and financial assurance that it is committed to transforming the power grid into a clean energy mecca. If we were to give such assurances, a lot more venture capital (that's money used to invest in new business), would be available, and that means a lot more investment in clean energy.

Yes, that means government subsidies in the beginning. That's kinda what government is for. To promote agendas that increase the health and economy of the nation. We did it with the energy grid. We did it with computers (Google it). And we were doing it with clean energy.

After yesterday, however, we don't really know what we are doing. And that's bad for venture capital, and that's bad for investment.

The future of jobs in the energy sector lie in producing wind turbines and selling them everywhere. In producing solar power and selling them everywhere. In producing electric cars, solar powered vibrators, etc. That is where jobs lie. That's why so many companies, including Exxon and whatever other giant energy companies are around, are against leaving the treaty.

Exxon knows that if there is going to be a clean energy revolution, it is a company that is poised to take advantage of it.
But it needs to know that if it invests tens of billions in wind power, the government is supporting the effort. Companies need assurance from their government that they won't go broke trying to save the world. Otherwise, they'll just let someone else do it.

And that's why everyone in China is jumping up and down cheering.

It's 9:56 a.m.
Good morning!
#sickorangetwist
#ParisAccord
#Jobs

Day 131: Free World Ain't Free

2017-05-31T06:13:00.003-07:00

The United States is no longer the leader of the free world. In the last two weeks, President Trump:

Signed a 300 Billion dollar arms deal with Saudi Arabia - the country responsible for exporting terrorism at an exponentially higher rate than Iran

Chastised NATO for not paying it's fair share, and pointedly refused to state the United State's commitment to Article 5 of the NATO alliance. Article 5 basically states, if you attack one NATO ally, you attack all NATO allies. It has only been invoked once, and that was to help the U.S. after 9/11.

Instead, he choose to lecture NATO,while standing in front of a 9/11 memorial, about having to pay their fair share. He did not mention that the lion's share of expenses borne by NATO in the last twenty years, are due to our wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria.

Then he came home and attacked Merkel in a series of tweets, accusing Germany of unfair trade and other things. Germany is part of the E.U., in case anyone other then our President was wondering.

Within the space of two weeks, we gave Putin almost everything he could possibly wish for: A real split in the 70 year strong NATO alliance, and a further weakening of the EU.

Then, to put the cherry on the "America First" cupcake, Trump announced this morning that America will be pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord.

In the span of four months, we have decided to alienate our strongest allies, and offer our hand in friendship to the authoritarian leaders of Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Russia, Egypt and the Philippines.

We have congratulated leaders on their policies of extrajudicial murders of people accused of using and selling drugs, defended them against their acts of cyberwar in interfering in U.S. elections, and embraced them for their successful oppression of the press and opposition in their countries.

As of today, it is crystal clear that the United States is no longer a champion for human rights, and that our president feels far more comfortable in dealing with dictatorships then democracies.

"Fortress America" means that we are going to allow other power blocks to dominate the geographical and political landscape, at our expense. This is very good news for India, Russia and China.

It is very bad news for anyone who believed America was doing the right thing, more or less, in its post WWII foreign policy. It's also a potential disaster for trade.

Finally, it's another giant step closer to the brink of no return, if you are someone who believes all the silly science that confirms man made climate change is real, is happening, and is accelerating faster than we thought.

Pulling out of the Paris Accord doesn't mean we're going to stop investing in clean energy, so there's that silver lining, I suppose. All this is enough to drive a reader to CLICK HERE

In other news, RUSSIA. But I'm too tired to talk about how quickly that noose is tightening around our president's neck. Let's just say we have a president with plenty of undisclosed financial ties to Russian money, a son-in-law who tried to establish a communication network that would be hidden from our government (but not Russia's), dealings with Russian bankers who were under U.S. sanctions, the president's own attorney being investigated, and a host of other major, resignation worthy news that has broken in the three or four days since I unplugged.

But I'm plugging back in! More on all this later today or tomorrow.

For now, let the fact that the U.S. is no longer the leader of the free world sink in. And remember this:

The original premise for WHY Russia colluded with the Trump campaign allegedly (they did), was that Trump promised to divert attention away from Russia's illegal annexation of Crimea, and focus on the weaknesses and problems of NATO.

Guess what?

It's 9:11 a.m.
Good morning!
#sickorangetwist
#Merkel
#Trump
#Flynnghazi

DAY 124: SPLINKERNEWSMAX LATE EDITION!!

2017-05-24T17:09:00.002-07:00

Okay. I guess it wasn't as hard as I thought.

Basically, this is what I think happened. Flynn was compromised by the Russians and/or Turkey. During the campaign, he used his poison tongue to whisper in Trump's ear.

He taught Trump that our real enemies were our own intelligence communities, and Trump believed him. That's why the White House is at war with the FBI and every intelligence agency there is. That's why Trump is committing a crime to cover up a crime that may not even exist.

Let's get on with it.

Day 124: Trump still has not released his tax returns. But the pressure to subpoena them keeps increasing, thanks to Trump. His administration is working in such a cloud of fear, suspicion and mistrust, that continuous leaking is all but assured.

TEN QUICKIES:
1. Remember when Trump said he would create a blind trust, before he knew what a blind trust was, and then he said he'd turn over all his business to his children? Remember when he promised that his business would turn over all monies received from representatives from foreign governments or foreign government business to charity? That was his way of promising he would remain as ethical as president as he was as a business man. Well, the Trump organization has now said, in writing, that complying with the Constitution is too hard, and they can't be expected to do it.

Yeah. That's why everyone said you needed to put your businesses in a blind Trust, you sick orange twist.

2. Hey. Remember when Trump guaranteed, 100% "Not 80%, but 100%" that he would negotiate with Carrier Air to make sure at least 1,000 people kept their jobs? And remember when Trump negotiated a $7,000,000 tax break for Carrier, in exchange for keeping that promise. And remember when Donald told us it worked?

Well, Carrier announced that it will be firing 800 or so people from it's plant in July. And guess where those jobs are going? Did you guess Mexico? Good! Now, guess what Carrier is doing with the seven million dollar tax break. Did you guess "not using it?" Wrong answer. They are using the savings to update the Indiana factory so that it becomes automated. YAY!

3. Hey. Remember when Jeff Session lied under oath about meeting with Kislyak, the Russian ambassador? And remember when, after he got caught lying to the senate, he sent a letter saying "Oops. I made a boo boo. Let me clarify?" And remember when he had to recuse himself from anything having to do with Russia and the Trump campaign? And, remember when he got involved in firing FBI director Comey?

Turns out, Sessions didn't make a boo boo. He actually lied. We know this because it was reported today that our Attorney General lied about the same meetings when he filled out his security clearance application. Funny, right? The attorney general - the guy in charge of our law, lied twice about the same meeting.

4. Hey, remember when Trump gave the Russians top secret information that Israel gave us. And remember when he was in the oval office with the two men on the Russian side, most closely associated with the hacking of our elections? And remember when Trump confirmed the information came from Israel, on TV, when he was in Israel?

Well, looks like Trump did another 'oopsie' with this guy:

Trump told Philippine president Duterte that we had two nuclear subs in the area because, why not?

Someone was asked on TV if this was a problem, and their answer was something along the lines of "well, nuclear subs are hard to find." I feel safer already.

5. The Republican candidate in tonight's special election in Montana, just assaulted a reporter.

6. Remember when Trump promised he wouldn't touch entitlements or medicaid, and that everyone would have access to health care? Well, his budget calls for $800 Billion in Medicaid cuts. Why? Because we need that money to fund the tax credits he wants to give the wealthy. Duh.

7. I can't. I can't keep going on. It's too much. The proposed budget calls for massive cuts in Medicaid, killing food stamps, and a host of other safety net programs. The CBO says 23 million will lose insurance and pre-exisiting patients will soon be paying exhorbitant premiums. Yay. Flynn is being subpoenaed, ignoring it, and now his companies are being subpoeaned. Comey is getting ready to testify, but he won't provide his memos at this time, because special counsel wants to keep them under wraps, for now. Sean Hannity is losing sponsors because he keeps pedalling a debunked conspiracy theory regarding the murder of Seth Rich, cats are sleeping with dogs (sorry Bill Murray).

ANARCHY

That's it! I know there are one or two bombshells I forgot to mention, but it's just too much.

I'll try to figure it all out by tomorrow.

Good Morning!

DAY 123: Manchester, Flynn, and WTF

2017-05-23T05:58:00.003-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

Regarding the terrorist bombing of Manchester. Words are insufficient, but they are all I have. My heart breaks for the children and young adults that suffered last night. And it was already broken for the children of Syria, the children of Afghanistan, Iraq, Pulse Nightclub, Paris, Boston, San Bernadino, Fergusen, Turkey, and North Korea.

Our hearts will always break, and we will always help each other heal. That is what we do as people, if not always as policy.

In a few days, or a week, Manchester will be off the front page. I hope that we can all keep the city, and all the cities, in our hearts a bit longer. There are no short news cycles for the victims and families.

DAY 123: Trump still has not released his tax returns. As some of you may know, the Trump campaign had multiple contacts with the Russians, before, during and after we the world learned that those Russians were attacking us via the influence campaign on the 2016 election. That's pretty weird. Trump and his administration have consistently failed to disclose that the meetings took place and have actively denied that they even happened. That's weirder.

What does any of this have to do with Trump's dirty, little secret? That depends on what his tax returns would show?

1. Given all the smoke (and fire) surrounding Trump and his ties with Russia (Flynn taking the 5th, Trump knowing Flynn was under investigation even before hiring him, Flynn lying to investigators about who paid for his appearances at Russian events, Flynn influencing U.S. policy toward Turkey when he was an undisclosed foreign lobbyist for the country, his refusal to criticize putin, Trump's disclosing of classified info to Russia, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.), it is understandable that this presidents ties to foreign money might represent a real national security risk.

2. His returns would provide evidence (or lack of) regarding conflicts of interest that might violate the Emoluments Clause of the constitution (CLICK HERE) . Better yet, CLICK HERE!*

PAUSE: Even if we get his full tax returns, we might not get answers to these first two questions. Maybe just a fuckload of more smoke. Okay, now what we'd definitely get (besides a headache).

3. How much he made. Duh. You weren't even thinking of that, were you?

4. Trump's deductions, including how much he donated to charity and which charities. That would be interesting. Trump has repeatedly bragged about the size of his donations and his hands, but reporters have been unable to find proof of either.

5. How much he paid in taxes. We have a president who is pushing for major tax reform. It would be nice to know how much he paid under the current system and how much he stands to gain from his proposed system. Remember, Donald often brags about getting away with paying as little as possible.

6. If he has foreign bank accounts.

7. Did he pay taxes to foreign governments?

8. We'd learn which businesses Trump materially participated in. If you've been reading this blog for a while, and you have a better memory than me, you might remember a post on Trump's business dealings with a corrupt government official in Azerbahgblahblahblah, who routinely laundered money for elements of Iran's Revolutionary guard. Stuff like that might be a problem.

That's a lot of stuff we could learn.

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED RUSSIA SCANDAL

Flynn refuses to provide subpoenaed documents to Congress, and has invoked his Fifth Amendment rights. According to Trump, this means Flynn is guilty. Only mobsters and Clinton associates plead the Fifth. Everyone knows that.

The Flynn disaster bears re-reading. Quickly: Flynn was a Lt. General in the army, but only a MAJOR part of Trump's campaign team. We now know:
1. Flynn told the Trump transition team he was under investigation.
2. Trump made him National Security Advisor anyway.
3. Flynn lied to investigators (a felony) about who paid for his jaunts to Russia.
4. Flynn did not disclose that he was lobbying for Turkey while he was in the White House.
5. Flynn tried to influence foreign policy regarding Turkey.
6. Pence, Trump and Spicer have all lied about what they knew about Flynn and when they knew it.

What we don't know, is why?

But, do we really need to know why? (Yes). The fact that Trump made Flynn his national security adviser, already knowing much of this, is a bit terrifying. Forget everything else, and focus on the judgement of this president.

Trump has engaged in an avalanche of mismanagement in the first four months of his Presidency.
Hiring Flynn.
Wasting several of his first 100 days arguing about crowd size.
Attacking our intelligence community.
Throwing his own people, including Pence, under the bus. A lot.
Inviting the Russian ambassador and foreign minister to the oval office - At the request of Putin.
Tweeting that Flynn should be ask for immunity.
Firing the guy investigating his campaign's collusion with Russia.
Bragging about it to Russia. In the Oval Office.
Disclosing top secret info to Russia. In the Oval Office.
Top secret info. that came from Israel.
Admitting it came from Israel on national television.
Coordinating the military response to Syria in his private club, filled with people that had no security clearance.
Attacking the media, and telling Comey to jail journalists.
Selling a GOP healthcare reform bill that he didn't understand.
Not understanding the bill would fail to pass Congress.
Rushing the worst written executive order (travel ban), probably ever.
Keeping his language on a total and complete ban of all Muslim immigration on his campaign website until last week.
Calling the FBI investigation an witch hunt.
Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

That's off the top of my head.

Even if you are republican, hate the MSM, and shout out "Take that Obama" with the conclusion of every bowel movement, all that has to bother you a little.

Right? I mean, right? Come on. Don't leave me hanging.

That's it!
It's 8:57 am
Good morning!
#Flynnghazi
#sickorangetwist
#Manchester

*SplinkerNewsMax is not responsible for all intentional clickbait on its website. By clicking on the link and buying zombie books, the consumer waives all rights to leave negative reviews or roll their eyes while reading any material. All profits earned from the sale of books or other promotional items will, if history really repeats itself, eventually make their way to various diners in the North Jersey area.

DAY 122: MIDEAST FOR DUMMIES!

2017-05-22T08:11:00.003-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 122: Trump still has not released his tax returns. Because of all the news surrounding Trump's public confession that he fired former FBI Director Comey because of the "Russia thing", his bragging to the Russians about it, inside the Oval office, Jared becoming a person of interest in the FBI investigation, and that video of a little girl being pulled into the ocean by a sea lion, who SplinkerNewsMax has named "Donald," because of his grabby nature, we've forgotten about many of the ethical conflicts and possible violations of law that the Trump family commits every day. Also, the entire staff here has been on an ultra low carb diet for four days and we all have headaches. But we'll get back to the fun filled world of money laundering, pay for play, and other bits of Trump Theft later this week.

Okay. We figured you had already seen the sea lion, so we decided to show an orange assed baboon flinging shit at a little girl. [Insert political joke here]

Now, let's talk ARAB!

President Trump is spending 9 days visiting the holiest sites of the world's three major religions, proving that God had to pull out all the stops just to get Trump out of the way so America can enjoy Memorial Day Weekend.

After three days, Trump was already exhausted. He huffed and puffed his way through a speech to his Saudi masters, cancelled a few events, and reportedly had to have Steve Bannon cut his steak in small, oompa loompa size pieces. We all sympathize with the president. The Arab world is exhausting, especially for a country like the U.S.A., that has trouble remembering that putting reality TV stars with a history of cheating and bankrupting companies, into the White House, might not be the best of ideas.

So let SplinkerNewsMax make mid-east politics fun and simple for you. Here we go.

SAUDI ARABIA

Saudi Arabia is a long time U.S. ally. That sentence might confuse some who remember that 17 of people responsible for 9/11, came from these guys. So, forget that bit, and just remember that they are an ally.

There are two kinds of Muslims in the world. Those we hate, and those we sell billions of dollars of military equipment too. We like the Sunnis (Saudia and others), and we hate the Shia (Iran). This week.

We have no idea why the can't get along, but they don't.

Okay. Saudi good. Iran bad. Simple.

Sometimes a blatant message is just a blatant message. Like how when Trump bragged to the Russians that he fired nutjob Comey and that the Russia pressure was off, he meant exactly that.

But sometimes there's a hidden message in plain sight. When Trump spoke in S.A. yesterday, talking about fighting terrorism, etc., he was speaking to Sunnis. Which meant he was speaking against Iran. Because the enemy of our enemy who lines our pockets for years, is our friend.

That 100+ billion dollar arms deal we inked with S.A.? That's another kick in Iran's nuts. Saudi does not need our THAD anti-missile system to fight terrorism. We could have just sold them the Lucy special, if that's all we wanted. S.A. might very well need the weapons to fight Iran though. That's the unspoken message.

Simple so far. We have S.A. and other Sunni nations, opposing Iran. So we sold S.A. another 100 billion in weapons.

Yes, there's evidence that people in the S.A. government may have played a part in 9/11, and yes, S.A. is the most oppressive regime in the Arab world. Other than that, however, simple.

Oh, and we have to remember that S.A. has a history of funding the Taliban. And it's given a few bucks to terrorist operations against Israel via Hamas. You see, the Royal Family isn't universally loved in their own country. There's plenty of troublemakers there who think the King and his brood are corrupt and a blight on Islam. S.A. handles this problem in a variety of ways, such as giving the people free homes with their petrodollars. And when that doesn't work, by creating job opportunities for the disgruntled, such as going to Afghanistan to kill Russians, then Americans, and always each other.

Still, Saudi good, Iran bad. As long as our Sunni brothers are united in destroying ISIS and terrorism, our relationship is simple, other than the few niggling details reported here.

Except... there's also the Saudi's history of funding dubious charities and schools, who spend their days teaching anti-American indoctrination. For example, in 2001, S.A. funded schools were teaching that the U.S. is the center of infidel power and that we should be hated because we're a secular society.

Okay. A few little bumps in the road. But still, Sunni good, Shia bad. And S.A. is a solid U.S. ally and 100% behind our fight against terrorism.

Jesus. I hate when that guy pops up. Okay, so there's a teensy bit more we need to keep in mind about our ally, S.A.

Al Qaeda, ISIS in Iraq and Syria, Boko Haram, the Shabab and some of terrorism lesser hists, are all violent Sunni Salafi groupings. (STOLEN FROM NY TIMES. CLICK HERE) Saudi Arabia has been the sponsor of Sunni Salafism across the globe for the last 50 years.

It's still simple. Just remember: OIL

Okay. Let's speed this up. Iran sponsors terrorism against Israel and remains a real threat to Israel. S.A. also sponsors terrorism that threatens Israel, but they don't like Iran. Hate Iran, actually. This explains why both countries weren't crazy about the Iran deal or anything else that increases Iran's standing in the middle east.

Iran and Russia are defacto allies in Syria, both countries more or less on Assad's side. Iran is also involved in the Yemen civil war, and Saudi is killing lots of Yemen civilians in that war with American weapons. Yemen is therefore not too crazy about the U.S. Yemen is also another hotbed for terrorism and U.S. weapons killing women and children makes a pretty good terrorist recruiting tool.

Back in Iran, they just held democratic elections and the guy mostly in charge, a moderate, won by a large majority. So that means the Iran deal is likely to stay in place. The hardliners in Iran who wanted the deal scraped, took a big hit with that election. It also means that Iran may be willing to negotiate extending the ban on nuclear development for a much longer time, in exchange for further lifting of economic sanctions.

Like Saudi Arabia, Iran has it's own internal struggles, even as it gains more power and standing in the mid east. The power shift from S.A., Iraq and the gulf to Iran is dangerous. Of course, S.A. is also dangerous. And if the people decide to rebel against the Royal family, it's going to be real dangerous. Like Syria dangerous.

Israel is still fighting with the Palestinians, who get a bunch of money from Iran. Israel and S.A. aren't exactly friends (the press had to make a stop in Cypress before flying to Israel, because you can't fly from S.A. to Israel), but they are kinda united against Iran.

Meanwhile, in Syria, the bad people are trying to kill the good people (the people we're betting on), and some of those bad people get money from S.A.

Back in Israel, Trump touched the Western Wall and did not burst into flames. #Iamanatheist
He's also promised to make peace between Israel and Palestine. Netanyhau is trying to deal with the fact that the U.S. won't put our embassy in Jerusalem, as Trump promised. And he's going to have to deal with Trump pressuring Israel to stop building settlements. Hamas is declaring a "day of rage" on the same day as Israel's Jerusalem Day,

and Flynn has just said he is taking the Fifth and there are reports that Russia has photos of him cross-dressing! You can read about that HERE!!*

Simple.
It's 10:30 a.m.
Good morning!

#Flynnghazi
#sickorangetwist

*Link may lead to authorpage. SplinkerNewsMax is not responsible for the contents of the link, other than writing the actual books and collecting money for all sales. Reports of Flynn cross-dressing are unverified and unreported in any media outlet except here. And maybe my friend Gary's twitter feed.

DAY 119: I mean, why bother? Seriously, what is there to blog about?

2017-05-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

Trump's transition team knew Flynn was under federal investigation for his actions as an unregistered agent on behalf of Turkey, weeks before Trump took office. Trump made him National Security adviser anyway. This explains why Trump didn't care what Sally Yates had to say, as they already knew it. They just didn't care.

And don't forget about this guy:

Yeah. The guy who is already (this is true) building up his war chest to run for president. I guess he thinks there may be an opening for a Republican candidate in 2020.

Pence was the head of the Trump transition team. Flynn told the Trump transition team that he was under investigation. Hello??

SplinkerNewsMax understands that, no matter what Pence did, there's no way he is going to be impeached. The government is unstable enough, without impeaching both the president and vice president. It is already unlikely enough that Trump will be impeached (he probably will resign, especially if Steve Bannon hides his golf clubs).

So that's all you missed if you slept last night. Oh yeah, except for the bit where the WaPo reported it had a recording of House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy accusing President Trump of being paid by Putin back in 2016. Republicans denied he ever said it. Then reporters told them they had the tape. Then they said, "Oh, THAT House Majority Leader. We thought you meant someone else." Then they said he was only joking.

Then Paul Ryan on tape, told them not to leak any of this and that there were one big family, and families don't leak.

You know what isn't on that tape? Anyone disagreeing with McCarthy.

So, that's all you missed if you slept.

Except, that there are reports now that the Trump campaign and transition team had a lot more contacts with the Russians than they previously disclosed. Just 18 or 20 though.

That is not unusual. I mean, why not have dozens of contacts with Russia while 17 intelligence agencies are saying they interfered with the election. If you let something like that bother you, next thing you know, you're refusing to let them into the oval office or give them top secret information. And then what? Putin has nothing to smile about, and you have a frustrated comic running around killing journalists instead. Trump is a hero!

Trump is straight out of the book of Esther. The man is willing to prostitute himself to keep Putin from harming his people. He put on his best makeup and prostituted himself to appease a murderous king, in order to save his own people.

So to recap:
Trump hired Flynn knowing Flynn was under investigation.

The Trump team had numerous, previously undisclosed, contacts with Russia.

Pence is already measuring the drapes in the oval office.

Trump told Coast Guard graduates, who will be putting their lives on the line for this country, that no one has been treated more unfairly than him.

Trump tweeted that his is subject to the biggest witch hunt in history, and that the rest of the world spells "councel" wrong.

That's it!
Oh, yeah, sexual predator and evil genius who spent his lifetime fostering an atmosphere that made millions think voting for a reality TV star for president was a smart idea, died at age 77. Mr. Ailes leaves behind a wife, dozens of fondled women, and a broken country.

That's really it!!
Except for the bit about Turkey bodyguards violently attacking peaceful demonstrators. Nothing new there, other than the fact that it happened to U.S. citizens, on U.S. soil, on camera. But don't worry. Those men already flew out of Andrews Air Force base and are safe back in Turkey. Whew.

FUN FACT: Turkey kills and jails more journalists than any other country, except Mexico! Want to see gruesome footage of the demonstration? CLICK HERE!*

Good morning!
#144k
#Sickorangetwist
#Flynnghazi

*Link may lead to author webpage and is intended for financial purposes only. SplinkerNewsMax is not responsible for the content, price or quality of the author's work. Or maybe we are. Neither SplinkerNewsMax, it's officers or agents have consulted with an attorney in the creation of this disclaimer. SplinkerNewsMax's owner has dated attorneys, however, and generally been quite satisfied with the results.

results will vary from attorney to attorney.

Day 118: LATE EDITION!

2017-05-17T16:20:00.002-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 118!: Trump still has not released his tax returns.

THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN: The Deputy Director of the the DOJ appointed a special prosecutor to handle the FBI investigation into Russia and Trump's alleged (he did it) collusion.

Mueller is a good pick. Everyone will be happy with him. Except maybe one guy. The good news: We'll get real closure on this.
The Bad news: It's going to take a long time, and we won't be getting a lot of leaks from the FBI end of things. Expect to be kept in the dark on this investigation until it's over.

That's a silver lining for Trump. But it's a silver lining on a giant, orange turd. There's still the House and Senate investigations, the Judiciary Committee, and the Washington Post and New York Times.

Another silver lining is that Trump's pick for FBI Director will face less criticism in the confirmation hearing.

The reason we have a special counsel, is because... TRUMP!

He has no problem in hanging himself. Loyalty Oaths, asking investigations to stop, admitting he was thinking about Russia when he fired Comey (although, to be fair, Trump thinks about Russia all the time).

Does this mean that Trump is yelling at himself right now? I doubt it. I'm sure someone will be fired by Monday.

Mueller is now the guy who determines if those Comey memos make their way to Congress. If he thinks there's an obstruction of justice issue that needs pursuing, expect him to say no, for now.

FUN FACT: Trump had about an hour advance notice that this was happening. I think someone is going to need THREE SCOOPS of ice cream before bed tonight.

Putin has been hospitalized with laughing sickness, and for good reason.

1. Comey is fired.

2. Putin calls Trump and asks him to meet with Kisylak and the foreign minister in the oval office.

3. Trump does so. Later, he says ""When I spoke with Putin, he asked me whether or not I would see Lavrov," Trump said. "Now what do I ... should I say no I'm not gonna see him? I said I will see him."

4. SplinkerNewsMax confirms that YES. In fact, Trump should have told Putin no. He should have told Putin "Fuck NO!" Or perhaps, "Sorry Vlad. You committed an act of war when you interfered in our election, so no ice cream for your guys.

5. Trump's meeting was photographed and published by the Russians. Apparently, the White House admits the Russians tricked them.

6. Trump decided to demonstrate that he was indeed president, by disclosing top secret information to the Russians. Information provided by Israel.

7. Trump implied he had tapes. Comey leaked that he had memos.

8. Rod Rosenstien appointed Mueller as special prosecutor.

FUN FACT: Jeff Sessions had no idea this was going on until after the order was signed.

AVOID THE CHRISTMAS RUSH. RESIGN NOW!

Sign the petition HERE!!
(ok, maybe it's not a petition. Maybe it's a link to my author page. But maybe, just maybe, it's a link to A NEW CAR!

BROKEN PROMISES
1. A Beautiful Wall
2. Jose will pay for it.
3. An Embassy in Jerusalem
4. A drained swamp
5. A tax on hedgefund managers.
6. Goldman Sachs will hate him
7. Taking Barron to a baseball game.
8. Labelling China a currency manipulator.
9. Stop China from raping us on trade.
10. Destroying ISIS quickly.
11. Appointing a special prosecutor to investigate Hillary.

That's it!
It's 7:20 P.M.
Good morning!
#sickorangetwist
#Flynnghazi

DAY 117: OUR EXECUTIVE SECURITY RISK!

2017-05-16T06:38:00.003-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 117: Trump has STILL not released his tax returns. Think about it for a second. The Gossip Man is willing to talk about anything, to anyone, except his tax returns. Why is that? Did he put "Lime, shovels and bleach" under miscellaneous business expenses?

Listen. There's a lot of stuff going on in the White House. Trump continues to distract us with his attempts to initiate the apocalypse. Attacking NATO, firing everyone, destroying the checks, so he can remain unbalanced, destroying alliances, and giving Putin's people two, or even three scoops of ice cream when he discloses highly classified information. I mean, think about how other world leaders who tricked Trump must feel.

What's the point of this opening in yoday's blog? I'm not sure. As I am writing this, I already forgot what I was trying to say.

But don't judge me, Uncle Ralph. You probably forgot that you voted for Trump because he promised to make Mexico pay for a wall, and because he told you that Hillary was a national security risk, and she would give away state secrets to our enemies. I bet you already forgot that Michael Flynn put our national security at risk and lost his job, or that FBI Director Comey lost his job for investigating why Flynn was there in the first place.

And if you're a liberal, I'm sure by 9:20 p.m., you forgot what Rachel Maddow was talking about at 9:01 p.m.

So cut me some slack!

With scandal breaking more often than Trump breaks wind, we can all be forgiven for forgetting an impeachable offense from time to time.

Full disclosure. I really did forget what the point I was trying to make was. But I remembered when I was making the Rachel Maddow meme. The point is, that while Trump is compromising National Security, tweeting about how he is allowed to do it, and destroying the reputations of everyone who works for him, the country and Rosie O'Donnel, we shouldn't forget that Trump and his family continue to amass wealth, provided by the taxpayer, by using public office for private gain.

FROM RUSSIA, WITH LOVE. SO MUCH LOVE!

I'm not going to go through all the news on this that is being reported everywhere right now.

Well, everywhere except on Fox News. Fox is focusing on how the Washington Post got the story, and blaming Obama supporters and Trump haters. Yes, it's true. Fox News is blaming Obama for Trump's disclosure of top secret information to our friend and ally, Russia. So, give Uncle Ralph a break. His ignorance isn't entirely his fault.

Here's a thumbnail of the current scandal that is destroying America.

You may remember that waaaay back early May, Trump fired FBI Director, James Comey. Comey was the man leading the FBI investigation into Russia and the Trump campaign's role in influencing the 2016 election. Trump had all his people, including Pence, explain his reasons for firing Comey. Then the president went on Fox News and made liars of them all. Again. In the process, the president admitted, on national television, that he fired Comey, at least in part, for his handling of the Russian investigation.

Then, without Comey saying anything, Trump threatened the former director, saying he might have tapes of conversations where Comey assured Trump that he was not under investigation.

Then, Uncle Ralph, satisfied that there was nothing to see here, binged watched Season 2 of Matlock.

Then Sean Spicer hid in the bushes.

Then, almost a full day later, Russian ambassador Kisylak and his foreign minister met with Trump in the oval office, because, why not?

Then, Trump said no American media are allowed to be there to take photos of the Kisylak love fest. Because, there is nothing wrong with the president meeting with the spymaster of the country that attacked the U.S. in the 2016 election, and then telling the press "no photos."

Then, Trump allowed Russian photographers in the oval office, because they were not supposed to release the photos and, if there's one country you can trust to be honest with America, it's Russia.

Then Russia published the photos, were we saw that Trump can actually make a happy face.

Then we learned that Trump shared highly classified information with the guy who is the center of five major investigations. Information that puts lives at risk, makes our allies hesitant about sharing information, and made our war on ISIS that much harder.

Then we learned that the Washington Post story was false. Except the White House didn't really say that. That said that Trump didn't reveal sources.

Then. McMaster sacrificed his reputation by denying things that no one accused the president of doing.

Then I fell asleep.

Then I woke up.

Then Trump tweeted that he did, in fact, disclose classified information to the guy who is the subject of five investigations for influencing the election.

Then I finished typing this sentence.

What have we learned so far? We've learned what happens when we make a man-child the most powerful person in the free world. That's what we learned.

Hey, show of hands. Who here believes Trump knows any details of what's going on with the attempt to repeal and replace ObamaCare? Anyone?

Okay. Who believes that Trump was employing a strategy when he disclosed top secret intel to the Russian ambassador? Anyone?

Okay. Who here believes Mexico is going to pay for a wall?
That Trump has the trust of allies?
That Trump's family isn't using the presidency to make millions?
That Kushner's sister selling visas in China had nothing to do with cashing in on the presidency?
That Trump knows what he's doing in foreign or domestic policy? At all?

Anyone?

That's it, for now. BUT CLICK HERE BEFORE YOU LEAVE!
It's 9:29 a.m.
Good morning!

DAY 115 and fuckin' whateveah! HAPPY MOTHER RUSSIA DAY!

2017-05-14T09:12:00.002-07:00

We don't know why he is committing obstruction of justice. We just know that he is. This is a major difference between the Trump and Nixon administrations. With Nixon, we knew the crime that he was covering up. That made impeachment a lot easier, and resignation all but certain. Here, we only have the cover up. So, you should expect to keep seeing this failed proctology student's face in the forseeable future.

Still, there's quite a bit of possible crimes that Trump is worried about, in addition to Russia.
HERE TODAY, COMEY TOMORROW
In 48 hours, we heard:
1. Trump decided to fire Comey after reading a memo from the Deputy DOJ Director and on the recommendation of AG Sessions. This story was confirmed by Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckleberry, and VP Pence.

2. After all three of his surrogates put what's left of their reputations on the line, Trump came on TV and called them all liars, by saying he was determined to fire Comey, no matter what who recommended what.

3. He capped it off by confessing to obstruction of justice, by saying that "in fact, when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, you know, this Russia made up story is an excuse by the democrats..." I know obstruction of justice is a specific legal conclusion, but Republicans are fooling themselves if they think they can just keep their mouths shut and this will go away.

4. Then Trump attempted to intimidate Comey by warning him he might or might not have tapes of the conversations between the two. He either has the tapes, in which he must turn them over to Congress, or he destroyed the tapes, in which case he's committed another crime, or there were never any tapes, in which case he simply tried to scare the former director of the FBI. Let's see a show of hands. How many people think Trump can successfully intimidate James Comey?

Comey declined to testify behind closed doors after the Senate Intelligence Committee asked him over to gossip. But no one believes Comey won't be appearing soon. He's either waiting for a subpoena, or he is waiting for the tears on his pillow to dry and will probably insist that he will testify, but in public.

Okay. That's it for this morning. But I want to talk about some more stuff. I'll be back later for a SPLINKERNEWSMAX Special Afternoon edition!

That's it!
Good morning!

Day 113: COVER UP!

2017-05-12T05:36:00.002-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else is in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 113: Trump has still not released his tax returns. Someone needs to tell the president that expenses related to the dismantling of democracy are not tax deductible.

COVERUP & CRIME
They are not the same thing. Right now, for example, we know that Trump is engaging in a cover up, but we don't know what he is hiding. Just like when Yates testified that Flynn had compromised himself and was open to blackmail, but did not go into his underlying actions, which were both troublesome and classified.

Does that make sense? It does? Can you please explain it to me?

And now we have:
the Comey dinner with Trump,
the letter from the Deputy Dir. of the FBI,
Trump's interview on NBC,
Spicer hiding in the shrubs,
Sandra Huckabee, Spicer and Pence all lying about the circumstances that led up to the firing of Comey,
the Russian photo op with Trump, his shit-eating grin, and the Russian ambassador.

LOYALTY!

Okay. until yesterday, the Trump story, the first one that no one in their right minds believed, was that he had fired FBI director Comey because of a letter the DOJ Deputy Director wrote, backed by the recommendation of AG Jeff Sessions, who is prohibited from weighing in on all things involving the 2016 presidential campaign, Russia, and/or Trump.

Let's stick to facts, but only for this paragraph. After part-time vampire Kellyanne Conway, grammar-killer Spicer, Trump SIth-lord Sarah Huckabee, and white walker Pence ALL trotted out in front of the cameras and assured the public that Trump decided to fire Comey after reading Rod Rosenstien's

memo.

But then Trump came out and said, 'no, no, no, I would have fired Comey no matter what my Rod said.

Think about that. Trump gives all his minions marching orders, then he goes on TV, cuts their legs out from underneath them, says Pence and Co. don't know what they are talking about, I was going to fire that showboating, Russia obsessed SOB no matter what.
Oh yeah, they also said that Comey had lost the confidence of the average FBI working Joe. But the FBI Deputy Director McCabe testified yesterday that he fucking LOVED Comey, and that the Agency was behind him 100%.

And now we have reporting from the N.Y.T. (no longer failing), that Trump arranged a dinner between him and Comey, that Comey didn't want to go but felt as if he had to, and that at that dinner, Trump asked Comey if he would by 'loyal' to the president. Comey allegedly said he would be honest. So Trump asked him again. And again. Eventually, Comey told the president that he could only promise to be honest, and that he would not be 'reliable.'

What happened at the dinner is in dispute. What is not in dispute is that Trump had his people tell a lie, and a lie, and a lie. Then he went on TV and let us all know they were lying.

Incredibly, this is exactly what was set forth in the politically charged novel, "I'VE BEEN DEADER," a story written by SplinkerNewsMax investigator, ADAM SIFRE . The novel, based on real events, both imagined and made up, centres around a power hungry president who values loyalty above reality, resulting in the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

To be clear, no one at SplnkerNewsMax is suggesting that the country would be better off with a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE than with a Trump presidency, because that choice is obvious. At the same time, however, it's important to remember that our president fired the guy who was in charge of investigating him, lied about why he fired him, probably lied about being told he wasn't under investigation, had his surrogates lie about why he fired Comey, and lie about the importance of the investigation into Russia, and, in fact, is still not willing to admit that Russia hacked into Podesta's emails and weaponized them in order to influence the election in Trump's favor.

But, before you go thinking that Trump is a thin-skinned maniac, who lashes out at anyone he thinks is acting against him, remember that the President just yesterday signed an executive order directing an investigation in to the non-existent 3-5 million illegal votes that were never cast and cost him the popular election.

There. Now you can call him a thin-skinned maniac.

That's it! Except for two quick things. After last nights revelations regarding Trump's demand for a loyalty oath, his throwing Pence and Co. under the bus, and his admission that firing Comey had something to do with Russia, and that it would bring the Russian investigation to a conclusion a lot faster (Huckabee), the GOP isn't saying boo right now.

But I think the Republican Party is going to do the right thing. Maybe their silence should be taken an a collective inhale, before they start speaking truth to power. Hey, it's possible.

It's 8:36 am.
Good morning!
#144k
#sickorangetwist
#Flynnghazi

DAY 112: PART TWO!: A walk down memory lane.

2017-05-11T08:46:00.003-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else has got in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.
DAY 112: Trump has still not released his tax returns. Someone needs to tell the president that expenses related to the dismantling of democracy are not tax deductible.

THE DOMINOS
Let's take a trip down memory lane, and see if we can come to grips with the unprecedented attack on the investigative arm of the DOJ. When Uncle Ralph starts pointing out Clinton's firing of Director Sessions, just remember that Sessions was fired for being a crook (Not the current crooked sessions that is running the DOJ, another crooked Sessions). That is not the case here. Here, we have a president actively trying to cover up any investigation into the Russian attack on the 2016 election.

Okay, now get out your calendars.

January 20, 2017. The Seventh Seal is finally broken, and Trump becomes president.

January 24, 2017: Michael Flynn is questioned by the FBI, most likely about his connection with Russia and other foreign governments. On that same day, Trump ups the crazy ante by telling Congress that he lost the popular vote because 3-5 million immigrants illegally voted in the election.

CONTEXT: Trump strongly believes that millions of illegal immigrants engaged in massive voter fraud and strongly denies that Russia even tried to influence the election in his favor.

January 26, 2017: Sally Yates, the Acting Attorney General, GOES TO THE WHITE HOUSE and let's them know that there are serious national security concerns about Flynn, the national security adviser. The first clear cut, urgent warning, that Trump had that Flynn was compromised and subject to blackmail, came before Trump had finished his first week as president, or even played his first round of presidential golf.

Also, Trump had signed another useless executive order to start building his wall. But there's no mention in it about who will pay for it. He then signs his first Muslim Ban order. The order is poorly drafted and seems to apply to green card holders and Cat Stevens. There is massive protests throughout the country. Greenpeace hands a banner, and the Climate March is set for April 29.

January 30, 2017. Trump fires Sally Yates after she says the Muslim Ban is improper and that the DOJ can't defend it.

February 13, 2017: Flynn resigns. No wait, he's fired. Why? We don't really know. Saying because he lied to Pence doesn't hold water, as we now know Pence knew about Flynn's actions from Day One, and Pence was the head of Trump's transition team.

March 20, 2017: Comey confirms the FBI is investigating Trump campaign ties to Russia in possible collusion in trying to influence the election. That is a major, major, bombshell. While we were all screaming at Hillary for keeping her emails in the wrong place, the FBI was apparently investigating Trump campaign collusion with Russia to help them win the election.

That same day, anticipating Comey's testimony, Trump tweets:

6:35 a.m.: James Clapper and others stated that there is no evidence Potus colluded with Russia. This story is FAKE NEWS and everyone knows it!

6:49 a.m. The Democrats made up and pushed the Russian story as an excuse for running a terrible campaign. Big advantage in Electoral College & lost!

7:02 a.m.: The real story that Congress, the FBI and all others should be looking into is the leaking of Classified information. Must find leaker now!

There were other tweets, including one accusing the Clinton campaign of having ties with Russia. But you get the idea.

March 28: Sally Yates is scheduled to testify. Nunes cancels it as the first step in his career suicide, assisted in large part by the Trump administration. Nunes never explains why he cancelled the hearing. What he did do was run to the white house, get information from one of Flynn's people, and then ran back to the white house and pretended it was explosive information. Then he recused himself from the investigation, because he is himself being investigated by the House Ethics Committee.

March 29? 30?: The House Oversight Committee, let by Utah Rep. Chaffetz announces they are looking into Flynn's payments from foreign sources. That's how we learned, very unexpectedly, that Flynn not only failed to disclose payments from Russia, but that the he had been told in writing he had to do that.

The White House refuses to give any documents about Flynn the the House Oversight Committee. Democrats tell Chaffetz he should subpoena the documents.

So Chaffetz quits. He announces he is done with Congress and won't run again. Then he runs away to his doctor to fix a bad foot.

Then Yates testifies that she met with the WH twice and one phone call about Flynn. She also says that not only did he lie about what he said, there is something about Flynn's underlying conflict, that Flynn lied about, was also "problematic." We don't know what that is, because it's classified. We do know that Spicer saying Yates gave them a "heads up" is a massive understatement.

Clapper, the former Director of National Intelligence, testified that when he said he had seen no evidence of collusion, he meant that he had not even known about the FBI ongoing investigation into collusion when he made that statement. In other words, if there was collusion, I wouldn't have seen it. That statement sucks for the whitehouse, because their main talking point has been "Even Clapper says there is no there there." But Clapper did not say that. Sorry White House.

Clapper also confirmed that in 2016, our allies gave us information regarding contacts between the Trump campaign and Russia, but that the specifics are quite sensitive.

Clapper, questioned by Lindsey Graham about whether Trump business interest in Russia gave him concern, said he can't comment because that impacts an investigation.

The NEXT DAY, the Senate Intelligence Committee announced they have requested from the financial crimes unit of the Treasury Dept. for information they may have about Donald Trump. Those are the guys, btw, who investigate money laundering.

Now, SplinkerNewsMax actually has a source. I mean a real source, sort of. I can't vouch for it. And it's not really a source, in that no respectable news outlet would say anything about it without verifying. But no one ever called us respectable. But a friend told me that a retired FBI agent told him (see what I mean), to watch for questions on Trump business dealing with Russian companies, and money laundering. This investigation, let's call it No. 6, might be the dark horse that wins the race. We'll see.

Comey was supposed to testify today. He isn't. He's fired.

But not just fired. Fired, in part, by Jeff Sessions. Jeff Sessions, Attorney General and part time cosplay elf, had previously recused himself from any matter relating in any way to campaigns for president of the United States.

COMEY WAS FIRED FOR HOW HE HANDLED INVESTIGATIONS RELATING TO THE CLINTON CAMPAIGN. THAT IS SOMETHING SESSIONS IS RECUSED FROM. Yes, the reason is clearly a lie. A big, fat, Trump lie that you would have to be KellyAnn Conway to believe. But it is the reason. And Sessions is not permitted to be involved in anything relating to either campaign.

And that's how Comey got fired, democracy called in sick, and we got stuck with a banana republic.

DAY 112: PART ONE!

2017-05-11T06:59:00.002-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else has got in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.
DAY 112: Trump has still not released his tax returns. Someone needs to tell the president that expenses related to the dismantling of democracy are not tax deductible.

Comey's Russian Dressing Down:
I don't even know where to go with all this. In my mind, everyone knows exactly what is going on, but then I read stuff by my uncle Ralph and I realize that a lot of people don't have even a basic grasp on the underlying facts. For example, in response to Comey's firing, Uncle Ralph sent me an email saying the real crime is the 'unmasking,' and that 'crooked Hillary' was stupid enough to allow her server to get hacked. I told Uncle Ralph that unmasking is not a crime, it's an internal process within the intelligence community that is done all above board. Then I told him that Hillary's email server was not hacked and that he's thinking about the DNC and Podesta emails.

What did Unlce Ralph have to say about that?

Anyway, it's obvious Trump's excuse for firing Comey - that the FBI director was too mean to Hillary - is bullshit.

In the last 24 hours, we are learning that Trump fired Comey because he's pissed that the story about the Russia investigation is being discussed in the media, and that Comey testified that there is no evidence to support Trump's "Obama wiretapped my 'See and Say'!"

Let's review a few interesting facts:
Comey was in Los Angeles giving a speech to up and coming field agents, when the TVs behind him flashed the news story that he was fired.

We are learning that a few days before being fired, Comey had asked the DOJ for more assets to help with the investigation. The DOJ denies this (they're lying).

Trump originally said that his reason for firing Comey on Tuesday, were letters that he read from the Deputy A.G. and Jeff Sessions earlier that day (or maybe Monday. I don't remember).

Then Sean Spicer hid in a White House hedge, and Sarah Sanders Huckabee said that Trump began losing confidence in Comey back in July, when he started flubbing the investigation into Hillary's emails.

Then the media played about nine hours of footage where Trump and Sessions praised Comey for how he handled the Clinton email investigation.

Then Hillary Clinton, in an exclusive interview with SplinkerNewsMax, said "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

Then people started looking at the part of Trump's letter that bizarrely stated that Comey told him three times that he wasn't under investigation. Then the country went "LOL."

Then Trump met with the Russians, didn't let the American press in, let the Russian press in, and when the Russian's posted the pictures on twitter, Trump looked like an idiot. Not a bigger idiot, because that would be impossible. Just an idiot.

That was pretty much yesterday. Except for his meeting with Henry Kissinger for a photo up, while the entire country was in the middle of comparing Trump to Nixon. Oh, and Putin appearing in a hockey uniform and saying it was silly to think Russia had any opinion on the firing of the guy who was investigating the Russian cyberwar on the 2016 election.

Okay. Stop. My head hurts. Now there's talk about special prosecutors, independent commissions, and a lot of other stuff. Here's my two sentence take on Trump's Russian collusion:

1. The scandal is a lot worse than Watergate.
2. But we're unlikely to get our hands on the smoking gun, such as recorded conversations.

FUN FACT: Michael Flynn is or has been served with a subpoena (because he has refused to produced requested documents), McCabe, the Deputy Director of the FBI is testifying on capital hill (because Comey ain't around). Comey may be testifying Tuesday. We'll see.

That's it for now. I'm going to try to mediate and then write a coherent history of what we know about the Russian investigation.

That's it! for now.
It's 9:59 am.
Good morning!
#Flynnghazi
#Yourfired
#sickorangetwist
#144k

DAY 110: Hey Hey, Ho Ho.

2017-05-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else has got in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 110: Trump still has not released his tax returns. The president and his family continue to be entangled in ethical violations and conflicts of interest on a daily basis. Over the last several days, we heard reports that Trump never had to worry about financing for his golf resorts, because Russian banks were always happy to invest in him. Then we heard that Kushner's family was in China, trading EB-5 visas for half-million dollar investments in his company, and that according to their slide show, President Trump is a good guy to know when you want to buy citizenship. Yay.

INFORMATION SICKNESS: A debilitating condition that occurs when a person is exposed to so much information, they fail to process any of it and either self-medicate or binge watch Project Runway or The Bachelor.

Well, I'm guessing their rating are about to go through the roof. Yesterday we learned....

Before Sally Yates and Clapper even finished their pre-testimony Denny's Plate specials, the news reported that President Obama had warned President-Elect Trump about Flynn a few days after the election.

And before that, President Trump decided to give witness intimidation a shot. Tweeting "Ask Sally Yates, under oath, if she knows how classified information got into the newspapers soon after she explained it to W.H. Counsel."

The president, of the United States, tried to rattle a witness that was scheduled to testify before Congress about investigations that involve the President, his administration, and collusion with Putin in the hacking of the 2016 election.

Sean Spicer came out and stuttered his way though an explanation that no on in their right mind really believes, saying Obama wasn't really being serious and that it was the Obama administration that gave Flynn security clearance in 2016.

Spicer must have forgotten that Obama had already fired in Flynn in 2014, and maybe no one bothered to tell the Trump administration that there is a whole other level of vetting that every administration does to people who want to hold positions like, say National Security Adviser.

Sally Yates, the former acting attorney general, testified that she met with W.H. Counsel twice about Flynn. And spoke to him on the phone once about it. Based on her testimony, the White House was essentially told Flynn was under investigation by the FBI, and that Flynn's actions had compromised him, making him open to blackmail.

So Trump knew Flynn was compromised, but didn't bother to fire him until the Washington Post made the news public 18 days later.

We still don't know what Flynn's actions were. Were they more than the known conversations he had with Russia regarding lifting sanctions? Maybe.

Republicans were not interested in Flynn, Russia or collusion. They were much more interested how the public found out about Flynn, Russia and collusion. Or anything else, for that matter. They did the president's bidding and asked Sally if she leaked any information. She didn't. Then there was an exchange between Ted Cruz and Sally Yates, where Ted, a man who's complete lack of social life forced him to study law 10 to 12 hours a day, bent over and let Sally Yates administer a three minute verbal spanking.

After this exchange, Ted got up and left the hearing, needing to be alone with his thoughts, I suppose.

At the same time, the DOJ was before the 4th Circuit arguing that the ban on Trump's travel ban should be lifted, Trump was tweeting how the real story that the FAKE media wasn't talking about was the leaks and that Russia is a made up place found only in old movies and CNN, GOP congressmen were running away from reporters who were asking them if they read the healthcare bill, Trump attempted to distract us by indicating he might be seriously enlarging the American presence in Afghanistan, NY Rep Chris Collins admitted that he didn't know about the part of the TrumpCare bill he voted for which will cost New York billions, and Steven Segal was banned from the Ukraine for five years!

Okay, Uncle Ralph. Let's lay our cards on the table. Your president is a disaster and, very likely, compromised himself. You know it, we know it, Segal knows it.

Our president is unable to shape immigration policy because everything he said as a candidate makes us conclude that his travel ban is a Muslim ban. In fact, his own webpage said as much as late as yesterday.

He failed to vet Flynn or, if he did, he didn't care. It's obvious he knew what Flynn was doing, just as it's obvious Pence was lying when he said he had no idea until the Washington Post story.

Now, when the President has absolutely no credibility, he's making noise about jump starting the war in Afghanistan. Is this an actual national security issue, or is it just another Trump distraction issue? It's impossible to know the answer to that. Our president continues to amass wealth by exploiting public office and engaging in shameless nepotism. He spends almost all of his free time attacking the free press. His ties to Russia and foreign money are too numerous to recount here (Manafort, Flynn, Carter Page, Deutsche Bank, Sec. of Commerce Wilbur Ross, Sec. of State Tillerson, Roger Stone, praise of wikileaks, refusal to say Russia influenced the election, China's granting of trademarks to Trump and Ivanka, Kushner meeting with sanctioned Russian bankers/criminals and failing to disclose it, Kushner's sister selling Visas in China, UAE greenlighting Trump's golf resort the week after the failed Yemen raid, and on and on and on and on).

Every action Trump takes becomes an ethical conflict, or at least raises legitimate questions over his motives. If you are a young man or woman, you would have to be out of your mind to go fight in any place this guy tells you to go.

Trump has to go. There is no way at this point that he can effectively protect the homeland. He has hamstrung himself on foreign policy and immigration policy.

That's it!

It's 10:36 a.m.

Good morning!

#144k

#sickorangetwist

#Flynnghazi

#Russiagate

DAY 109! : ETHICS!

2017-05-08T06:17:00.004-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after we make sure that no one else has gotten in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 109!: Trump still has not released his tax returns. The president and his family continue to be entangled in ethical violations and conflicts of interest on a daily basis.

The president has decided not to set an example by behaving in an ethical manner. The ethical violations du jure:

The Kushner's are selling Visa's to the Chinese for $500,000 a pop. Jared's sister made the sales pitch over the weekend. If you invest in Kushner real estate, you have a pretty good chance of getting a VISA and being on your way to American citizenship.

Now, before you leap to the conclusion that was an overt attempt to sell Visa's in exchange for giving the Kushner's money, you should look at this ad:

That's English subtitle there, that's not a joke. That's exactly what was advertised at the Ritz Carlton where Kushner's sister made her sales pitch.

This is a common business practice. But the president has taken a hard stance against immigration and loose work visas. Maybe that means he wants to jack up the price. Who knows? Wait, I know! It really does mean that they will jack up the cost! At least that's what Nicole Kushner told the Chinese investors Saturday. She also mentioned how the CEO of Kushner Failing Real Estate was now working at the White House and President Trump's Halloween face appeared during the slide show as a "key decision maker" on the EB-5 Visa program.

Jared and Trump's daughter are part of the White House now, and it doesn't take a rocket ethic scientist to see that Jared's sister selling a pathway to citizenship, stinks worse than the last five Chevy Chase movies.

GOLF!

Some guy named Dodsen was golfing with Eric Trump a few years ago. The game got rained out and the Frozen dvd was too scratched up to play on the golf cart, so the two got to talking. Dodsen asked how Eric was able to pay for the golf courses, as banks were not investing in that stuff at the time.

Unbelievable, you say? Not any more! Eric is saying 'Liar, liar, pants on fire.' What he is not saying is, "Here are the financials for the golf resorts. See? No Russia here!" He's not saying that.

TRUMPCARE:

It's out of the House for the moment and with the Senate. There are three things you need to remember about the bill:

1. The plan will cut EIGHT HUNDRED BILLION Dollars from Medicaid over 10 years. As it turns out, a lot of poor people depend on Medicaid to do things, like live. The Rich don't generally use it.

2. The plan gives a massive tax cut to the massively rich. Warren Buffet, a guy so rich that his wallet has a wallet, says he'll get a 17% tax cut on the plan. No more Costco for Warren!

3. The Republicans are lying through their insured dentures when they deny numbers 1 and 2. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

And that's all you need to know about TrumpCare. Except maybe that a bunch of old white men celebrated by drinking beer with the President. (Trump doesn't drink. He says he doesn't like it, but we're pretty sure it's because it doesn't interact well with his meds).

RUSSIA!

Sally Yates, the former acting attorney general testifies today. She's going to let us know that Trump was clearly warned about Flynn, and Trump ignored the warning. Trump will respond by tweeting about how Flynn is Obama's fault. I'm just kidding. Not even Trump would try to get away with that bullshit.

James Clapper is also going to testify. That should be fun.

We have plenty of lies and cover up in the investigation already, and I'll go over it in detail in another post. But the two big ones for today's hearing: Flynn lied to Pence. The Administration knew about Flynn's ties and illegal actions and tried to keep it secret, and Nunes tried to keep Yates from testifying.

That's it!

DAY 107: FLYNN - The gift that keeps on giving!

2017-05-06T06:47:00.002-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! SPECIAL EDITION!!! SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 107!: Trump still has not released his tax returns. The president and his family continue to be entangled in ethical violations and conflicts of interest on a daily basis.

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED.

Treason or Incompetence? Both paths should lead to impeachment. Now, when I say treason, I don't want to suggest that the president will ever be convicted, or even accused (in a legal document) of treason. I simply mean that President Trump and his campaign team engaged in collusion with the Russian government during the 2016 election. Maybe it was the result of bargain struck - Criticizing NATO and lifting sanctions, in exchange for releasing Podesta's emails and trolling social media while promoting fake news.

Or maybe it was incompetence on a level that is stunning, even for government.

We now know that the Trump transition team actually warned Flynn and Trump that his cozy pillow talk with the Russians was a problem. Apparently, however, Trump didn't even pause in bobbing his head before naming Flynn his national security adviser.

Two things to think about and remember.

First, the "Transition Team" and the "Trump campaign" are two different groups of people, with some overlapping. The transition team is tripping all over themselves to get out of the way of the Flynn trainwreck. "WE WARNED HIM!" they shout. And it looks like they did. But that doesn't mean Flynn was as high as the RussiaGate goes.

Second, VP Pence was the HEAD OF THE TRANSITION TEAM. This presents an interesting logic problem for two-year olds:

If Pence was the head of the Transition Team, and

If the Transition Team warned Flynn about his talks with Russia before Jan. 21;

and if Pence told us in January that Flynn did not talk with Russia about lifting sanctions...

and if Pence told is in February that he didn't know about the conversations and Flynn lied to him,

Then Pence is:

a. Lying to us.

b. Incompetent as the transition team leader

c. Advised Trump that Flynn was a problem, and had his advice ignored; or

d. ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Listen. Trump hired a guy who was fired as head of the Defense Intelligence Agency in 2014. In Dec. 2015 he is paid to participate in the 10th Anniversary party for Russian Television. In 2016, Flynn is the Trump campaign's biggest cheerleader. Literally.

Maybe Trump wasn't purposely colluding with Russia (He was). Maybe he didn't know anything about it (He did). But there is no 'maybe' about the fact that he knew Flynn was a national security risk and that it didn't stop him from making Flynn his national security adviser.

Here's another thing to think about. I know, I said there were only two things. But as Sean Spicer would say, "What SplinkerNewsMax meant, and I think it's an important to remember, no, no, no, no. I understand, but let me, just let me. There are clearly two things he wants you to remember. Saying there are three things isn't not incorrect because you can't have three without two. In other, there are definitely two things to remember, or else we wouldn't be talking about this third thing."

Trump's incompetence and the White House's "don't give a shit attitude" didn't stop at Flynn.

Look at some of his failed nominations:

Phillip Bilden was Trump's pick for Sec. of Navy. He withdrew, saying he was unable to "... satisfy the Office of Government Ethics requirements without undue disruption and materially adverse divestment of my family's private financial interests.”

Vincent Viola dropped out from becoming Army secretary for pretty much the same reason.

So Trump nominated Mark Green for the Army Sec. position. Now he has also withdrawn. Green is such a dick, that Sen. McCain, the head of the nomination committee, said "no way" would he vote for him. And he wasn't alone. Aside from the democratic senators, 41 civil rights groups and 10 retired officers urged Green to withdraw or be rejected by the Senate. Mean Mark Green has made nasty comments regarding the LGBT community, Muslims, Latinos, birth control, evolution, the Second Amendment, and (probably) brown M&Ms.

Why would Trump nominate such an idiot in the first place? Because he doesn't care and he's incompetent.

Flynn, Bilden, Viola and Green. These are the guys who withdrew voluntarily. What about all the nominations Trump that made the cut, though? Do you trust that the president took any time to vet them, or that the Republicans weren't willing to rubber stamp a bad egg or ten?

MAGA!

That's it! Maybe I'll say a few words about healthcare, the surprising amount of republicans who voted for their bill without knowing what it was, the Russian hacking of the French election and the fact that the western world poised to be pushed off a cliff by Putin, depending on tomorrow's election.

That's really it!

It's 9:46 a.m.

Good Morning!

DAY 100 SOMETHING! STAY FOCUSED!!

2017-05-04T09:07:00.001-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! SPECIAL EDITION!!! SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 100 AND SOMETHING!: Trump still has not released his tax returns. The president and his family continue to be entangled in ethical violations and conflicts of interest on a daily basis, and the media is getting tired of reporting on it. Or there's just too much other crap going on for the country to pay attention. As a sockpuppet who delights in being distracted on an hourly basis, I can appreciate the appeal of tuning out. It's probably even healthy. But here at SplinkerNewsMax, we believe that

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's the kind of sleeveless first lady we need avoiding the White House. You can tell her friend's really into it because her nipples are so pixelated. I think that's her friend. I can't really tell which one is Melania. She looks like a different person before plastic surgery. You know Donald is ED, right? I mean, if he didn't, there's no way he'd let Melania stay in New York. Unless maybe Barron has demon powers and Donald is afraid to cross him.

Or maybe Melania is a lesbian, and she simply prefers women to 70 year-old orange men. Does anyone remember what the terms of their prenup are? She's probably a shoe-in for half his assets at this point.

Do you ever lay in bed at night and try to imagine the unspeakable things that poor woman had to do just to end up being prisoner in a Persian's wet dream? It's no wonder Trump is always yelling about Iran. #decoratorRegrets.

And what is up with Ivanka and her daddy issues?? I don't want to start unfounded rumors, but what if she's in the middle of negotiations in Saudi Arabia or something when all those repressed memories come rushing in? You know?

Anyway, here at SplinkerNewsMax, we remain focused on the important issues. Starting now. Here's the list of our core beliefs regarding the current administration.

1. Everything Trump does is designed to distract us from his obvious collusion with Russia, which, as far as we can tell, is ongoing.

2. Everything else Trump does is designed to use the office of the president to enrich his family. The use of public office for personal gain is now the Fifth Estate of American Politics.

3. We have elected a president that has difficulty reading, difficulty paying attention, and has a habit of speaking whatever thoughts float through his sleep deprived head.

If you can remember even two out three of these things, then: a. You are more fit to be president than the guy we got; and b. everything Trump does makes sense.

AND MEXICO WILL PAY FOR IT!: I remember when my Uncle Ralph and I would argue about Trump's promise that we would build a beautiful wall that will grow ten feet every time someone in Mexico does something he doesn't like. We wouldn't just build a wall though. We'd build it and Mexico would pay for it.

During these times, I would state the obvious: Mexico isn't going to pay for any wall. Uncle Ralph would reply, "Who cares? As long as it gets built." Hard to argue with that logic. Unless you want to point out that more than 40% of illegal immigrants flew here on Visas. Or unless you want to point out that if you can make billions selling illegal drugs here, you're going to find a way to get them into this country, with or without a wall.

But beside all that, it really does matter who pays for it. First, it turns out that a 2,000 mile wall isn't cheap. Shocking, I know. Trump promised that he could build it for ten billion or less, but - and here's another thing that will shock you - Trump is full of shit. Let's be generous and say a wall would cost at least 27 billion. Plus the cost of making sure it stays up. That's known as "maintenance." That's a lot of money. About half as much as Trump wants to add to the military budget, which is also a lot of money.

So, what we have here, right now, is a President who has broken a 30 Billion Dollar promise to the American people, and now he wants the taxpayer to pay for a wall that democrats and plenty of republicans don't want. So, that matters.

Here's another reason why Trump's 30 Billion Dollar broken promise matters. (Do you really need another reason? Okay.)

A few weeks ago, Trump was saying that he might not sign off on a budget that didn't provided funding for his wall. In case you forgot, that's the wall that Trump promised that Mexico would pay for. Trump threatened to shut down the government if funding for his wall wasn't included in the budget.

Now, Trump folded on that issue for now. The budget was a true bi-partisan compromise. The Democrats got funding for the NIH, there was no defunding of Planned Parenthood, there was no large cuts in the EPA budget, and there was no withholding of ObamaCare monies that were due to the states. The republicans got money for the military and money for border security - something many democrats are happy about as well.

For about 30 minutes, Trump was pleased with the deal. But then he turned on the news and saw that Democrats were bragging about the budget, instead of talking about his historic win. So he went to twitter and threatened, again, to shut down the government. This time in September.

So, we have a president who has broken a 30 Billion Dollar promise, but isn't willing to break his promise to actually build the wall. And when our elected officials say "No" to paying for it, he's going to force a government shut down.

But don't be nervous. Trump has promised that it will be a "good' shutdown. That's no a joke. He said that.

Now, LET'S TALK RUSSIA!

Comey testified yesterday. I feel bad for the guy, but fuck him. He screwed as all. And a special "fuck you" to Bill Clinton as well and all the people who were there and didn't have the balls to grab president Clinton before he walked into the plane and say "No, no, no! Bad President!"

Comey didn't tell us much that we didn't already know, other than the fact that he makes himself nauseated. And We need him to do his job, now more than ever. So I won't attack him. He was in a difficult situation and he made the wrong choice.

One thing the FBI Director talked about in some detail, was how the FBI prepares a witnesses. One of the things they like to do, is make sure the witness repairs his reputation and legal status as best he can. FOR EXAMPLE: Let's say you were the National Security Adviser to the president and that you were also secretly a foreign agent for Turkey and/or Russia. That's pretty bad. Pretty illegal. So, if you were going to testify for the FBI, they might suggest that you try to address that issue, like, for instance, registering as a foreign agent. Better late then never, and all that.

So the unverified reasoning goes something like this: If Flynn cut a deal with the FBI, he would try to do whatever he could to make fix his criminal past. The fact that he's done so, suggests to some that he may have already cut a deal with the FBI.

On another Russian Note: Former acting attorney general Sally Yates is going to testify next week. She's expected to say that went to the white house with a piece of paper that said "FLYNN LIED ABOUT HIS TALKING ABOUT SANCTIONS, AND HE IS SUBJECT TO BLACK MAIL" and she stapled it to the forehead of the Trump's White House Counsel. When did she do that? Weeks before Trump decided to fire Flynn. What did Trump do to address this unusual situation? Why, fire Sally Yates, of course.

Listen. When the head of the Dept. of Justice tells you that your National Security Adviser is at grave risk to being blackmailed by foreign powers, it's a good idea to pay attention. It's apparent that Trump didn't care, as long as the public didn't find out about Flynn's lying about his conversations with the Russian ambassador. (When you lie about something you did with another government, that government has you by the short hairs.).

Anyway, if Flynn DID cut a deal, we can expect other amateur spies to come running in from the cold.

Another interesting tid bit about Rudy G. came out. Comey was asked if he knew if anyone from the FBI had been in contact with Rudy about the Clinton investigation? Comey said he didn't know, but he was very interested in finding out the answer to that question. That pretty much means Rudy is the subject of an investigation. I mean, Comey wasn't saying that he'd like to find that answer by reading my blog. (PSST. Comey. He did.)

In other news:

It looks like Healthcare will make it's way out of the House and to the Senate. They are passing a bill without debating it or waiting for the revised CBO report that will tell us how many tens of millions of people will lose health insurance and how much this plan will save the government. Many have not even read the amended bill. Hopefully, democrats will capitalize on this stupidity in 2018.

Trump just signed an order that says your pastor can preach politics without worrying about losing his tax exempt status. Evangelical leaders are walking around like they replaced the Eucharist with Viagra, and we can expect there to be plenty of court action there.

That's it! For now.

It's 12:06 p.m.

Good morning!

#Flynnghazi

#sickorangetwist

#Russiagate

DAY 102:SPECIAL EDITION - THE RETURN OF JASON

2017-05-01T16:22:00.002-07:00

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! SPECIAL EDITION!!! SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

THE RETURN OF JASON!

I wish it was that guy! Nope. I'm talking about, of course Jason Chaffetz. (Rep. Utah). Until a few months, Jason Chaffetz was hands down, the most vicious political animal on capitol hill. Among other things, Jason is the leading honcho on the House Oversight Committee on the "Trump Loves Putin" investigation.

That isn't what Chaffetz signed up for. Trump was supposed to lose. Hillary was supposed to win. Chaffetz was supposed to waste four years launching sham investigations against Clinton. Like the Benghazi buffet, the Clinton hearings would have made Chaffetz a star and could easily have made him the Republican favorite for 2020 elections.

Alas, poor Chaffetz became one of the latest victims of the Trump train, and the poor slob ended up trying to derail investigations into the crimes committed by the leader of his party. That sucks for Chaffetz.

A few weeks ago, things started heating up on the Russian Front. We found out that Michael Flynn was seeking immunity, then that the Dept. of Defense had specifically warned him about taking foreign money. Sally Yates, the person who apparently first warned the Trump transition team that Flynn was subject to blackmail by foreign powers, was getting ready to testify (Tomorrow!). Then we learn about a 5th investigation into Flynn by the DOD. Then we learned that Pence, Trump, and Sessions all lied and continue to lie about when they knew Flynn was bad mojo. For openers, there was a letter from Congress to Pence dated November 11, calling Flynn's conflicts and possible (definite) criminal conduct into question. Then Trump, Spicer and Sessions got nervous last week and started singing the GOP song that's been number 1 on the hit parade for 8 years running, "BLAME OBAMA!" The latest chorus of this song goes something like "We didn't vet him, Obama did. Baby, baby, baby."

But, oops, they must have forgotten that Obama had fired Flynn. And they must have forgotten that they had been notified about Flynn's problem two months before inauguration. And they must have forgotten that the news was reporting on Flynn issues months and months before that. And finally, they must have forgotten that they did, in fact, vet Flynn, and decided to bring him on as National Security Advisor anyway!

I believe the phrase you are looking for is "Holy Shit!"

Through all of this, poor Jason was expected to deflect, distract and stall. But Jason knows what is what on Capitol Hill. And deflecting for Trump in 2017 is guaranteed to come back and bite you on the ass by 2020, at the friggin latest.

Think of Trump as a giant Cheeto, and Chaffetz as a man getting ready for a black tie wedding. Who wants to touch a Cheeto when their wearing a tux, right?

So Chaffetz decided to gnaw off his own foot in order to escape the toxin that is our president.

1. A few weeks ago, he tells the world, out of the blue, that he won't run again.

2. The next day he tweets that he may not finish his term. Then deletes it (I think)

3. The next day he announces he's looking for work in the private sector.

4. A few days later he remembers he has a foot emergency that has been ongoing for about 12 years, and tells the world that he has to leave for a month to get it taken care of. He even posts a picture of his fuckin foot x-ray in case people don't believe him. That's like me bringing in a bag of snot to show my boss the day after I call in sick. Protest too much? For anyone with a foot fetish, CLICK HERE!

And now for the weird part. Jason, like Freddy and Michel, keeps coming back. Four days after surgery on his little piggies, he's expected back! Yay!

Why is he coming back? Who knows? Maybe he's coming back to help the GOP pass the lasted TrumpCare abortion. I almost hope that's the reason. A Congressman returning from covered medical treatment for pre-existing condition, just to stop people with pre-existing conditions from getting healthcare... I mean, I know it sucks, but I live for irony!

I don't know. There's something really screwy going on with this guy. The left wing nutters are saying Russia's blackmailing him, but I doubt it's that black and white.

We'll see!