I've Ben Waiting

4 Myths I Taught Myself to Believe

2011-05-21T21:00:00.000-05:00

I used to believe a lot of things about myself that are pretty stupid as I look back on them, such as believing that cylinders in an engine are torpedoes that explode in your car. Turns out it’s not quite exciting as what I always imaged. But then there are myths I taught myself that actually affected the way I conducted myself. Myths such as:

1. I will spiritually mature when I have my own family

I grew up in the church my whole life. Worshiping God is something I’ve always considered normal, but never did much of it because it’s not really very fun for a little kid. When I was old enough to be graduated from Sunday school and had to be with my mom for the whole service I still never sang out loud for the longest time. Being a Christian to me seemed like a grownup thing to do, just like getting a job. I didn’t want to do it now but I knew there would be a time when I would decide to do it. I remember very clearly looking around at other families and telling myself that when I have a wife and kids I will then become a worshipper. I am so thankful to God that he has made me who I am NOW and is continuing to make me who I need to be for my wife and kids, instead of me having to change for them.

2. I’m way ahead of everyone in competition with me

I am blessed beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. My dad has taught me so much in my life. I was doing graduate level graphic design and computer work before high school and made my first website when I was in elementary school. Most kids have not had the opportunities that I have had. Unfortunately I grew up thinking I had no competition instead of focusing on how I can improve myself. I now feel like the world is racing ahead of me. It’s a bittersweet feeling. On the one hand it is motivation to work harder, and on the other hand it is depressing how much of my life I didn’t strive to be better than myself. When you are racing against turtles, don’t be content to just win; try to be the fastest rabbit there is!

3. Reading is a waste of time

I hated reading growing up. You know why? It was forced upon me! The only times I ever read where because I was required to. What’s even sillier is that 90% of the time I actually enjoyed what I was reading but I was stuck in this mentality that reading sucks. When someone (my mom) would insist that reading makes you smarter and have a better imagination, I would come up with some reason why every other medium of entertainment is far superior to books. My attitude about reading has changed drastically. I now read any chance I get during breaks from work. The thing is I am reading mostly non-fiction. You really can learn a lot. Books can directly influence your character.

4. Chicks dig me

Did you read my last post where I started by talking about how I’ve never had a girlfriend? I can assure you that it was not because nobody was interested in me. Plenty of girls flirted with me. Many friends of my sister would tell her they thought I was hot and of course she would inform me. This can really go to a guy’s head. I thought I was hot stuff. Thankfully I’ve done a lot of growing over the last decade. I’ve determined the specific type of girl I am looking for. This rare breed of female is not like those that threw around flirty compliments like confetti. “She” doesn’t mess around. She won’t bite the bait that works on most girls. This type of girl is hard to get. Suddenly chicks don’t seem to “dig” me because this isn’t Kansas anymore, so to speak. I must work very hard to win the love of someone who will only accept a certain character, instead of just being “hot” and not having to fight for love.

3 Things I Wanted to Happen But I'm Glad They Didn't

2011-05-17T19:00:00.001-05:00

There are things in life that you may have really wanted at one point, but some time later (days, years) you realize how glad you are that your wishes didn't come true. Here's 3 of mine:

1. Have a girlfriend

It may come as a complete shock, but I have always really wanted a girlfriend. Me? A normal guy? Can’t be. Yes. I’ve had countless crushes in my life, and as a youth, with no understanding of the value of a significant other, had no reason not to want to turn one of those crushes into something more official. Had I gotten what I wanted I would have given my first kiss away the first chance I got. I wouldn’t have given a second thought about getting physical with a girl. Sure I had the sense to save sex for marriage but I wonder how long that would have lasted.

I thank God that none of that ever happened. Maybe it was because I was too shy to ever do anything about getting a girl. Maybe it’s because I was never close enough to a girl to have had the opportunity to “make my move,” but I give the glory to God as the all-encompassing reason why I have managed to stay completely pure to this day. I would never give a winning lottery ticket as payment to see a movie just like I now understand the meaning and value of my first kiss and know to never give it away for anything less than it’s purpose and worth. *Offer only valid for my future wife.

When I finally do have a girlfriend it will be because I decided she’s the one and only one I want to have. I wouldn’t dare ask that of a girl until I am totally committed to seeing that happen.

2. Stay Living in Raytown near my friends

All of the above about me potentially throwing my purity out the window was at a time in my life when I lived in the not-so-respectable Raytown, MO. I had great friends who I miss very much but the kind of people we were surrounded by in school and in the hood in general were not good news. I received almost nothing but negative influence. When people in school found out I was a virgin they’d criticize me. I’d wear a Christian shirt and get picked on by girls in passing period. I never wore that shirt to school again.

This all contributed to my apathy, thereby allowing me to tolerate the situation. Still I loved my few close friends (you know who you are) and didn’t want to leave them. Also there was a girl. My parents broke the news to us that we were moving back to Olathe, basically for every reason you just read. We threw a fit. That was not gonna fly, despite the fact that years prior I threw the same fit upon hearing that we were moving to Raytown FROM Olathe.

This move was the start of God revealing to me how everything happens for a reason. I recall it as almost instantly that I noticed my relationship with my dad make a 180 from fighting almost everyday. In the 5 years that I’ve been back in Olathe I can probably count my fights with Dad on my fingers. I immediately found a church I could connect with that wasn’t 45 minutes away. I’d say it is in these last 5 years that I have become a Christian by definition and not just by title.

3. Get an internship at PIXAR

I recently applied for a character animation internship at Pixar studios in California. I did not get it. Why in the helicopter would I be glad I didn’t get into Pixar? Well this story has yet to be finished but I know without a doubt that something awesome is going to happen instead, as God allows time after time.

...There's This Girl...

2011-04-30T15:58:00.000-05:00

Before I even consider a girl, I ask myself this make-it-or-break-it question.

How to Make the Right Choice EVERY TIME

2011-04-24T20:25:00.005-05:00

In life there are many decisions and choices that we make: Some good ones and some bad ones. We often ask God to help us make the right choice. Often he does, in great detail through His word, aka the Bible. Sometimes there is no way to know what God wants you to do. Is this because these are unimportant choices that God doesn’t care about? No. He cares about you, what job you have, what girl/boy you pursue, what school you go to, even what you wear. For those and other choices you make that are not clearly outlined in the Bible, how can you know for certain that you are making the right decision? I learned the secret…

What happens to everyone in the world without fail? Hardship. Obstacles. Setbacks. These are often attributed to being ways that God guides us OR ways that Satan opposes us…

Someone feels called to go on a missions trip and they get sick: “Satan doesn’t want me to preach the word so he’s discouraging me from doing what God wants me to do.”

Someone decides they want a certain job and their application is rejected: “God must be closing this door so I should look out for another.”

We make assumptions about who is the one preventing us from attaining what we feel destined to or even simply want. God may very well be telling you not to go on a mission trip, and Satan may also very well be trying to stop you from getting the job in which God has big plans for you. There is always a point at which we have to decide for ourselves whether something is the right thing to do, and admittedly our personal desires weigh in on those decisions. Still, we think that we have a right choice and a wrong choice and no evidence to know which one is which, and this frustrates us. Here’s how you make the right choice every time: “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

Wait, so the answer IS in the Bible? That’s right!

"Whatever you do..."

Christians can be like little kids who after being told that a grocery store has every kind of food imaginable insist on asking, "do they have pizza?" Yes, that's a food. "Do they have chicken?" Yes, that's a food.

"If I am playing basketball?" Whatever you do! "If I am at RedBox picking out a movie?" Whatever you do! "If I am shopping?" Whatever you do!

When you face a choice and the only tie-breaking qualifier is your gut feeling, pray to God about it, tell Him you want nothing more than to do His will, and offer Him your final decision. What you are effectively doing is saying that you trust Him to love you and bless you no matter what might appear to be the outcome of your decision, no matter how important or mundane the decision. Do it in His name and thank Him for how He is going to use your decision.

Without going into detail, once I made a decision that God immediately revealed to be the right decision even though there was so much opposition against it. At another time in my life I made the wrong decision that seemed right at the time because there was no opposition. When I thought God meant to bless me one way, despite having picked wrong He changed me and blessed me in a different, better way.

We can’t just wait for God to reveal His plan so we can make our informed decision. We have to discover how are decisions were a part of His plan regardless of what choice we made. God has been faithful to give me an answer to pretty much everything in my life, even if I don’t see the answer for a few years. His faithfulness has been the cornerstone of my faith in Him.

For more on this subject I highly recommend you listen to what Louie Giglio has to say about Colossians 3:17 in his sermon titled
"Passion, Purpose and Designer Jeans"

Get the live sermon along with worship and other speakers from the Passion 2006 "Everything Glorious" DVD or just the sermon as an MP3!

What Men Want More Than Sex

2011-04-16T12:32:00.005-05:00

   Do you remember when Facebook quizzes were all over the place? Maybe they still are, but there was one titled “Reasons to be Single” which had you select what you considered to be pros to being single. I was about to do the survey when I realized that all of the options it presented either contradicted my reasons for wanting to be married, were immoral, or were just plain stupid. Some of the options said things like “being able to flirt with whoever,” or “freedom to casually date anybody,” and “Not having to worry about, take care of or share with your partner.”

   I have heard it said that the one thing a man wants even more than sex is to exert his strength. That is so true for me but not in the way that I think the speaker was talking about. What that strength is to me is the ability to give everything I can for, serve and love the one and only girl for me, with all of my heart. By God’s grace I have the capacity and strength to do all of that, but because I am single I can’t exert that strength yet.

Or can I?...

   Maybe I haven’t even met my wife yet. But I know she is out there, and I love her. I LOVE HER. That’s weird. How can I love someone I don’t know? Hmm. Well… I know that when I am married I will put her above any other human in existence. Even myself. I can start now. That means that I can exert my strength by foregoing pleasures and intimacy that so many people throw around and are left with nothing to offer their bride. My wedding vows to my wife don’t just take effect when I say, “I do.” They are retroactive and I am bound to live by them until I die. Though I haven’t even written vows yet, I already know what they include, “Not only will you be my one-and-only from now on, but every day leading up till now I have been yours and yours alone.”

“When you are single you have nothing to lose.”

That is supposed to be a pro to being single. Sounds good doesn’t it? Not for me. How can I exert my strength if I do nothing requiring that I lay everything on the line? I look forward to doing that daily not only in my pursuit of my wife but also in my pursuit of Christ. I am comparing my relationship with my wife to my relationship with Jesus. Ephesians 5:25 is a commandment that I am dying to perform. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”

“Being single gives you time to focus on your career.“

   I’d like to rephrase that and say that focusing on your career is time not spent focusing on your wife, which happens to be category of time that I look forward to the most. Don’t get me wrong; I do feel called to a certain career and will do the best I can at pursuing it and making the most out of my singleness.

   Being single is easy. It requires no effort. No giving up of yourself. You might even have a significant other you are living with but really the only thing that is at stake is your emotions and maybe some lost time. It may be very easy to fulfill your desires with little risk and much accessibility but what value is there in that?

   You should be familiar with the concept of supply and demand. When something is in abundance it is very cheap. When it is rare and requires work, it is esteemed and treasured. It is protected and even fought over. My beautiful sisters, I encourage you to make yourselves rare. Price yourself at what you are worth. Require that you be fought for. You know what else happens when something comes at a high price? Not just anyone can afford it anymore. Only those who are willing to do what is necessary are worthy of acquiring it. I have learned from experience that anything worth pursuing is worth any setback that comes with pursuing it. I know now never to let any bump in the road stop me.

   This is what I want even more than sex: To be able to conquer any challenge and do whatever it takes to show you, my wife-to-be, that I love you.

"Not only will you be my one-and-only from now on, but every day leading up till now I have been yours and yours alone."

For more on this subject, I recommend you read these remarkable articles by two of my good friends. Get two great female perspectives:
Saving Sex for Marriage by Jami Jensen
and Cheap and Easy by CaterpillarsToButterflies