The soccer field is part of a much larger park, which is good because it gives my daughter a lot of room to run around in, but at the same time, she can’t just do anything she wants, because there are service roads, other fields, and other obstacles she needs to be aware of and avoid.  At 2, she doesn’t always recognize her limits, and this being a new place, she doesn’t always know what she is supposed to do.

What works the best for her (and for me) is finding a balance between letting her roam free and setting very clear limits on what her freedom entails.  She cannot enter the parking lots.  She cannot climb on top of the picnic tables.  She can run all the way to the end of the unused field next to my son’s, but not across the road at the end.  Things of this nature, that keep her safe but let her have some freedom to make choices as well.  Too many rules and she can’t remember them all and doesn’t bother to even try to follow any of them.  Too few, and she could end up hurt, or worse, because she’s not yet equipped to make judgments about the consequences of some of her actions.

Does that mean she doesn’t test those limits?  No, of course not.  I’ve stopped her many a time this past week as she looks at me and carefully steps one foot over the line into the soccer field my son is playing in, or puts her knee up onto the top of a table.   She is two, after all.

All this has reminded me a lot of the process of finding a balance between working towards one’s long term goals and enjoying life here in the present.  Every individual, couple or family’s balance will be different, but the process of finding that balance is strangely similar to keeping my two year old from hurting herself or becoming a disruption.  Too many restrictions (focusing exclusively on the future and not on the present) can make one rebel and try to break every rule.  Too much leniency (or no control over what happens in the here and now) and an emergency could be a never-ending disaster.

Our balance has changed over time, sometimes more focused on getting to the point of debt free, sometimes more focused on preparing for emergencies, and sometimes a little more focused on enjoying life in the here and now, but when we aren’t working on a balance, and focus too much on one aspect, we tend to lose sight of the big picture.   And a few times of stepping over the line, so to speak, testing those limits and backsliding at times as well, serves to reinforce why those limits are there, and can be turned into a positive and a renewed commitment.

Where is your balance?  What are you working toward?  What helps you to keep on track?

For newer readers of the blog, Tell All Tuesday is where I recap what’s changed as far as our debt situation since the last update.  I used to do it every Tuesday, or close to it, but once I got down to the student loan, I can only make payments to it once a month without them advancing my due dates, and I want everything that possibly can be applied directly to principal, so I only make a payment once a month.  So Tell All Tuesday has become more of a monthly affair.  But, hey, today is still Tuesday.

Since last month, we got an unexpected refund of part of our escrow account because our property taxes have gone down.  That added to the budgeted amount we pay monthly to the student loan was almost $1500, so I rounded up to make it even.  When looking at my actual amount owed on the loan, I wanted to bump it up even more to cross another thousand milestone, but we weren’t able to do that this month, so we still owe just over $7000, to be exact, $7097.86.  That payment put us at having paid off 80.53% of the total non-mortgage debt amount we owed (credit card, 2 student loans and car loan)  two years ago, when I started this blog in June of 2007.  Less than 20% to go!

The home stretch has taken longer in some ways than some of the middle steps did - it seemed we ran into a streak of good luck for a while and were able to make a lot of progress, and then hit some harder times where our progress has somewhat stalled.  But it is still moving forward, even with the adjustments we’ve made to saving a bit more preemptively against needing a new-to-us car or any financial setbacks on the work front.  And although $7000 still seems like a whole lot to me, paying off 80% of the original ~$36000 in two years makes the final 20% seem more than achievable.  Our current amount paid off is now $29353.85, and my goal is to not only knock the student loan under $7000 next month (which would happen with even our minimum payment), but to knock that paid off number up to over $30000.  Our budgeted amount (due to the change in our mortgage payment) is $543.66, so I’ll only have to snowflake at a minimum about another $150.  We can tighten our belts more than we have been, and we can make this happen.  And from there it seems all downhill… that works for me. 

I was contacted a few months ago by a representative for Brother, asking me if I’d like to review one of their all in one printer/fax/scanner/copier machines, the Brother MFC-5890CN.  I get a number of offers to review things and I usually don’t accept because I’m not all that into writing reviews, but in this case, I think my spouse would have cried if I didn’t say yes.  We have to fax a number of documents each month for our Flexible Spending Account, and usually that means I have to go to our local copy shop and pay them to fax them for me.  It isn’t a huge expense, but it is a recurring one that’s nice to eliminate.  In the spirit of full disclosure, in exchange for writing an honest review of the all-in-one printer (not positive or negative, just what I honestly think), I get to keep it.  Yahoo! 

And honestly, I think it is pretty cool.   I’ve only ever had a printer before, so I didn’t know what I would think.  Some background information about the all-in-one printer:  as I said before, it prints, faxes, copies, and scans, as well as direct photo capture from a memory card.  It prints up to 11″x17″ paper for both photos and documents, and there is an auto feeded on top that feeds up to 50 sheets for scanning, copying or faxing.

Some of the things I just love about it:  scanning.  Oh, the scanning.  I can scan documents into PDFs, I can scan pictures into JPGs, and it does it pretty fast.    I also really like that where the paper comes out is basically right under the machine, so it doesn’t shoot out into the room, and takes up no more extra horizontal space.  The machine is sort of large to begin with, so this feature really helps save space on my desk.  The quality of pictures, both scanned and printed, has been very good for me.  And I am happy with the ease and speed that it both prints and copies, especially color.  The black and white does seem a tad slow to me, but the color more than makes up for that.  And it is pretty simple to use - there are big buttons on the front to change functions, which is good for me since I am not a big doirection-reader. 

A few things I am not as fond of:  the pages when I print come out in the order printed, meaning that my documents are in reverse order.  There may be a setting to reverse that, but I couldn’t find it. Also, setting up the fax was a bit complicated and tim-consuming.  We did get it to work, and there is even a place you can fax to verify it is working, but it took my spouse a few tries to get things right.  Lucky for me, my spouse sets things up.  :)  These are small things in thebig picture, but things that annoyed me.

All in all, I’m pleased by the device, and I am excited to never have to pay for faxing again.  Compared to our previous inkjet printer, this one is pretty slick, and the cartridges are much less expensive.  It does have 4 cartridges though, not two, so I am sure that factors in somewhere, depending on how fast they run out.  But if you want a printer that scans, faxes, copies, and does it all quietly and efficiently, look into this one in your search.  It is pretty nifty.  And now I am going to play with it some more, I have copying to do!

But as I said, their contract ended in May, so last week, my mom and brother made another trek to the Verizon store, this time to end their phone plan (that was no longer under contract, they thought) and sign up for a different plan that more suited their needs (my other brother is joining his fiancee’s plan instead of another family plan with my mom).  And that is where the fun begins.  I can only report it secondhand, for I live 1000+ miles away and wasn’t there, but in the 3.5 hours (yes, three and a half hours) that they were there, this is what basically happened.

When they tried to end their phone plan, they were told that if you have a contract, it automatically renews once it ends until the authorized account holder cancels it.  The authorized account holder is my dad.  And because my dad is dead, he can’t cancel it.  So it can’t be cancelled.  YES, the first set of employees point blank told my mother and brother that the contract (that had already run out) could not be cancelled by anyone other than my dad, and because he was dead no one could cancel it.  My mom had brought the death certificate with her, and the employees told her it didn’t matter, no one else was authorized without my dad giving them authorization, even though he had passed away.

So then my mom told them “Good luck getting William to pay it then beyond the grave” and the employees went to get first a manager, and then after the manager claimed they couldn’t do anything, a supervisor, and the supervisor finally, after consulting “headquarters” and having my mom and brother both refuse to accept they had to keep paying, changed the authorization to my mom and allowed her to cancel it.

This, as I said, took three and a half hours.

So, if you have a Verizon family plan, look into your authorized account holders and see if you can have more than one.  Because if the unthinkable happens, Verizon may try to collect from you forever.  Literally.

Tomorrow I’ll talk about something I like to balance this rant about things I definitely do not. 

Using The Prioritizer is pretty straightforward. You begin by entering up to fifteen goals by name, one per line. These are just simple descriptions of each goal, such as “Retiring at Forty” or “Vacationing in Rome”.  Once you’ve entered your goals, the Prioritizer gives you a list of pairings of your goals, and you rank one of each pair as the more important to you.  Think about each pairing before you choose - really decide which of those two things is more important in your life.  This is the key.  Comparing the goals two by two is much less overwhelming than trying to compare everything at once.

Once you’ve done that, the Prioritizer uses the data you’ve entered to rank your goals from most important to you to least important, with a percentage ranking next to each.  the higher the percentage, the more important to you.  The beauty is in the simplicity.  This isn’t anything you couldn’t do yourself with a number of pro/con lists, but it does it automatically for you and gives a simple list ranking your goals for you.  From this, you not only know how your priorities rank - but how much more (relatively) important one priority is than another.

Is it perfect?  Of course not.  It is a tool like any other - but it may give insight to you when you’re stuck trying to compare apples to oranges.  When I’ve been stuck looking at a number of different goals and not sure where my priorities truly lie, I’ve been able to use this tool to make things a bit more clear cut.  And readjust my financial focus (and otherwise) appropriately.

A few months ago Swagbucks offered me my own “swagcode” for new users to their portal - if when you registered for their free search engine portal, you entered my swagcode, you got bonus swagbucks for registering.  And now they’re doing it again.   If you haven’t tried Swagbucks yet, sign up and enter the code PAIDTWICE1 (case sensitive) and you’ll  receive 6 Swagbucks (3 for signing up, 3 from the code)!  It is active now and will expire the 16th of June at 11:59pm PST.

Swagbucks has a number of new things going on this week, including Thursday, unveiling an entirely new and sleeker version of their website, so if you haven’t tried using their search engine, check it out (and enter the PAIDTWICE1 swagcode of course)!  It is totally free, there is no hidden catch, and if you don’t like it, you don’t ever have to use it again.  For me, it’s a frugal way to earn gift cards to get presents for my family I was going to get anyway - but now I can do it for free. 

And a user tip - I use Firefox as my web browser, and Swagbucks gives you an option to add Swagbucks to the built-in search bar in the Firefox browser.  So I have Swagbucks selected there as my default search, but if I ever want to use Google or something else to search, all I have to do is select it from the dropdown menu.  Easy peasy!   In Firefox, it isn’t a separate toobar or anything like that (in IE I think there is a toolbar you can install if you choose to). 

In the past two years since we’ve owned our home, we’ve had our monthly payment adjusted upwards twice from its origin due to projected escrow shortages.  There is a minimum balance required in our escrow account, and if our property taxes or homeowner’s insurance is higher than the bank expects, the minimum balance drops too low and then we have to put more money in (which is what raises our monthly payment).  It has never been a huge upward increase in our payment, but it has so far always been up.

So this year when I got the annual letter from the mortgage holder, I was less than excited.  But when I opened it, my tune changed immediately.  Not only does our monthly payment go down for the next year by $43.66, we also got a check for $996.86 because we have too much in our escrow account.  Our property taxes have gone down by over $500, which is where the escrow overage came from (the good side benefit of lower property values, I guess).

We discussed what to do with the unexpected windfall, both the check and the monthly mortgage decrease, and we’ll be putting both towards my student loan.  So this month I’ll be paying $1496.86 towards the student loan, and every month after until it is gone I’ll bump the minimum we pay up by $43.66.  We discussed the idea of putting it towards our mortgage principal since it came from the mortgage company, but decided we’d rather keep concentrating on that last non-mortgage debt and make it go away as fast as possible.

Sometimes the readjustment letter has good news, after all.

And I can completely relate to that.  Although I enjoy trying to be frugal with what I have and find ways to cut or eliminate expenses, it wasn’t always this way.  I never had super-extravagant tastes, but I did like to spend money on myself, and not always for things I needed.  Becoming a more frugal person has been a very eye-opening experience, and has taught me a lot about myself, but hasn’t always been easy.

The problem with any radical changes is that they tend not to last.  If a person tries to go from spending money freely and without any forethought, directly to spending only on a strict and controlled budget, that is a recipe for disaster.  You might stop spending money for a few days, or a week, but sooner rather than later you “slip”, and once you slip it is easier and easier to go back to your old habits.

Small steps are the key.  Here are some ideas for a few small steps to take to ease into a world of frugality - which to me is not about spending as little as possible, but instead about being self-aware about the choices we make with our finances and the effect they have over both the long and short term.

Date night can be a walk in the park.  Literally.

If you have kids, which I do, having a date night with your spouse doesn’t have to be an extravagant affair.  My spouse and I recently went on our first date night in quite a while, and honestly, it was fun just to hang out and not have kids pulling us in 16 directions.  Plan your date night with an eye to the atmosphere and not just something expensive.  A picnic in the park can be as fun (or more) than a fancy dinner out.  The second-run movie theater can be a great alternative to the newest releases.  And if you do have kids, trading babysitting with a friend can keep you from breaking the bank on child care.

Cutting coupons doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Coupons are a great way to lower your grocery (or other) bills.  But you don’t have to spend hours and hours finding the best deals.  ease into using coupons.  Start with just scanning the Sunday coupon offerings and picking out things you were already going to buy anyway.  As you become more comfortable with the process, you can branch out.

Spotting the right sale is like a beat the bank game show.

I scan circulars for sport, I admit it.  I like to try and beat the advertising at its own game.  It is all a matter of mindset.  If you think something is drudgery - it will be.  Inject a little fun.  Have a contest with yourself to get the best deal (or a better deal than last time).  You might like it!

What has to go first - what needs to go next - what’s left is negotiable.

Changing everything today may not be possible.  Take a realistic look at your finances.  How much needs to be cut back?  Prioritize.   If you need to eliminate $150 from your monthly budget, start by cutting $150 of your spending, not $500.  Work your way up bit by bit instead of all at once, and the road will be easier to stick to for the long term.

Looking at the world through a frugal lens does take some work, but ultimately can be very rewarding.   Looking at frugality as a task to be enjoyed, and ultimately as taking control over your financial life, can provide needed encouragement to keep on the path to a better financial future even when that road seems steep.

Once we started talking about the actual facts of our situation, instead of making assumptions that were incorrect, we became a team in handling our finances instead of adversaries.  This is the process we took to get there.

Make Sure Everyone’s Aware of the Actual Situation

I was (and still am) the primary handler of the day to day finances.  I paid all the bills, so I had a much better idea than my spouse of how much money came in and went out and how they related to each other.  I assumed he was as aware as I was, but he wasn’t.  Most of our arguments stemmed from that simple fact - our expenses and our income were very close to the same, but since he didn’t realize that, he wanted to spend more money on non-essentials than we really could afford.  Once I drew up an income/expenses sheet (with a list of our monthly expenses and how that compared to our monthly income, broken down into types) and explained it all to him, he was much more in tune with our financial reality and much more willing to put off or forego a non-essential expense - and much more on board with working towards becoming more financially stable.

Compromise is the Name of the Game

Sticking to your position with no room for discussion rarely ends well.  You may have to, depending on what your situation is, but there is usually some room for compromise.   Try not to react immediately in the negative to the other’s position.  Listen, reflect, and figure out a middle ground you can meet in.  Maybe you want to have the ability to spend how you choose.  Maybe your partner does.  And maybe there isn’t really any flexibility in the budget to allow you to spend.  You may have to start with a tiny bit of flexibility, like $5 a week (or even less, we’ve done it!) and as you work towards improving your financial position, slowly increase the flexibility.  Things only get better if you accept reality and work from there.

Long Term Goals Vs Short Term Realities

Understanding what you are working towards is important.  Saying “I want an allowance to spend how I want” or “We can’t spend money on anything until things get better” might be valid points, but working short term realities into a long term scenario shows why what happens now is important for the future.  Be specific - try to avoid things like “until it gets better” or “I want to spend what I want”.  Draw up a detailed plan for how what you are doing now with your money will improve the future, and also how you can get to a place where both of you are having some of your needs (to spend or to save) met.  Specific benchmarks such as certain income, savings, or debt reduction milestones can work wonders for motivation and get you on the same page.

Getting to a place of agreement about money management may not always be easy, but if both people are willing to listen and do the work, it can be done.  Working together towards your common goal is a much smoother ride than working at cross-purposes.  Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and then start opening those lines of communication today.

Now, the rules governing credit cards are changing.  Things like universal default (when you are late on one card, every card can penalize you) are being eliminated, and interest rates can’t be raised automatically when you pay late.  Fees and penalties are being capped.   Many things are being put into place to stop credit cards from taking advantage of those who are in over their head.

Which is good.  But on the other hand, someone has to pay for it.  And that someone seems to be those who use credit but do so without getting behind or paying late.

Annual fees - a yearly fee just for having a credit card - are expected to make a comeback.  As I’ve already firsthand experienced, interest rates for everyone are being raised as a pre-emptive strike before the laws go into effect.  Having a credit line “just in case” is going to cost me.  Is that worth it to me?  I don’t think of the credit card as my money any more, nor as an emergency fund.  But I’m not in a place yet where I can say with conviction we can handle anything life might throw at us without turning to credit.  I’m working on getting there, but we are definitely not there yet.

So on the one hand, I’m happy that preying on the most vulnerable will stop.  For example (and again it is my “friends” Capital One), my middle brother is not the most responsible when it comes to managing his finances.  He has a Capital One card with a very low limit, and he’d charged it beyond its limit.  Totally his fault, and he was assessed a penalty for it.  But the crazy thing was, his minimum payment due the next month wasn’t even enough to bring him below his limit!  And he doesn’t pay attention to things like that, so he paid his minimum, then was charged another over the limit fee for being over the limit.  This went on for three months until he asked me to take a look at things and I explained what was going on.    I’d like practices like that to stop.  It’s not illegal, but certainly unethical and just… tricky.

But at the same time I’m not really excited about paying a fee just to have a credit card.  Someone has to pay somewhere, and that someone might be me.  So, we’ll see what happens.  But for now, I can only say I am ambivalent.