iwasa90steenager

A flying visit to Innsbruck- a lovely city!

2026-03-17T23:55:00.000+00:00

Alan was the one managing the perfect logistics of our trip to Austria.

Day 1

We flew out very early on Friday morning - on the 7.15am flight after I arrived to Kings Cross at just before midnight, we only achieved 2.5 hours sleep and I was asleep on the plane before they'd even done the safety briefing (impressive as it was a loud flight with at least one stag party!) We landed and got a very easy bus to outside our hotel - the AC Hotel - which only took 20 mins. We were too early for check in so we changed into ski gear and left our bags with reception and rented some skis and poles for me from a shop 2 minutes walk away. We weren't sure how long to hire skis for as we were only one night in Innsbruck before travelling to Westerndorf for more skiing! Helpfully the shop said we could return the skis at 8am on Monday morning so we took out 3 days hire and headed to the train station to get a train to Bergeralm Steinach resort which again was only around 20 mins journey. We took the first gondala up to the little resort which offered a few blue and red runs and the possibility of night skiing. We arrived just at lunchtime and I wasn't hungry at that point so we headed up on the chair lift to do the blue run....only when we got there only a steep and icy red was available which was intimidating as I've only ever struggled to get down green or easy blue runs! It was also quite windy which I've got limited experience of...but I managed to pick my way down safely with long wide turns, fell over once and lost my skis, but managed to put them back on whilst on the steep slope. The red eventually became a blue and was much more slushy which threw me off and I ended up catching a front edge and flipping head over heels landing slightly on my head with feet in the air (but this time I think both skis stayed attached!) It threw me a bit so we got to the bottom and tucked into lunch - I had schnitezel and chips and Alan had a frankfurter.

We did a couple more blue runs off the end of a drag lift, but the slush wasn't as appealing and so we called it a day and headed back to Innsbruck. After a well earned nap back in the lovely hotel (great view from the 12th Floor!) we ventured out for dinner and found a lovely Austrian Bier Keller type restaurant - Stiftskeller and enjoyed a "sausage salad" which included shredded ham and then I had pork with saukerraut.

Day 2

Saturday morning we were able to enjoy breakfast buffet in the hotel before getting a bus to Innpromenade parkrun, Innsbruck for their 25th event and we met some other tourists and managed a steady run along the river with snow topped mountains in the background - it was beautiful and as always very friendly, but we couldn't stop for coffee and headed straight back to the hotel and got onto a pre booked train to Westerndorf which only took around 90 minutes.

It was a little walk uphill to a lovely hotel - Hotel Apart Garni Heisenhof with lovely spacious rooms, a good ski room and perhaps best of all - hotel cats with instructions of how to interact with them!

We changed into ski gear and took the ski bus to the bottom of the main Westerndorf lift and headed up on a gondala to a long and very slushy blue run (it was quite late in the day) and so much to Alan's frustration it took me around an hour to get down with many many turns, but at least no falling over this time! This did present a potential to miss the last lift, but thankfully Alan managed to work out the logistics to get us back to the top of the main gondala and we were down for 4.30pm, annoyingly just missing the last ski bus, although the ski bus driver suggested if we tipped him he'd drop us back...and so we did manage to get back without having to walk a mile and a half with skis.

We did some tripadvisor research and managed to find a restaurant that was in walking distance of the hotel called Glennies. The food was stunning - we both had a salmon starter which was possibly the best dish with delicate flavours and presentation and we went full in with 3 courses and some gluhwein.

Day 3

Sunday was a bit of a slower start and we had a delicious buffet breakfast, made even better by us meeting one of the hotel cats. We had planned to get a bus towards Brixen, but when the ski bus arrived at the same time as we got to the bus stop we headed over to Westerndorf main lift and headed up to where we'd been the day before, but thanks to Alan's planning we ended up via 3 gondalas in Brixen and I loved the routes up there. It was less slushy than the day before, even if the visibility at the top was limited. Some of the blue slopes were steep, but I made my way down without having a melt down and was overjoyed to see a black squirrel after a particularly steep section. We stopped for lunch and then had another few runs finishing the day with a beer just before the lift back to Brixen and then had to have an Irish coffee whilst we waited for the bus back to the hotel.

We decided to go to Glennies again as it was so good, tried some different dishes and it was just as great as the night before.

Day 4

We made sure we got an early night as we knew we'd be up at 6am to get the 6.50am train back to Innsbruck. Thankfully Alan had booked us seats as it was a busy train, but we were comfortable and we were back at the ski rental shop for 8am and then straight onto a bus to the airport.

Only 2 days of leave were taken up, and I didn't enjoy the extreme lack of sleep on Friday, but I'd absolutely do it again as it felt like we were away for much longer as the travel was so efficient.

Marathon Training weeks 4 &5

2025-02-26T23:48:00.000+00:00

It's been a tough couple of weeks with a very heavy workload and a general feeling of "meh" about the weather and traiin in general, but let's have a look at what I've managed to achieve:

This is what was on the plan for the week...

10/02/25

Rest/Cross train

Run Club/60 mins

10 mins easy running

6 x 3 mins at half marathon pace with 90 secs recovery

10 mins easy running

Pilates/Cross Train

Swim/gym/rest

parkrun

Temple Newsam 10

And here is what I actually achieved...

Monday - a rest day for me, the weekend was busy and so was work.

Tuesday - I knew that I wasn't going to make it to run club as Alan had booked for us to see "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" at the cinema and so instead I took my run kit to work and did a threshold run and got to 5.71KM with an average pace of 5.20per KM which I was pleased with.

Wednesday - Work took over as I'd had an early start over to Huddersfield, and a late finish and forgot I'd had to park my car miles away, at least I got my steps in walking to and from Clarence Dock!

Thursday - It's always tricky to try and get runs in on Thursdays as I have Guides and I've also asked Garmin to not suggest any runs on that day as a scheduled rest day and it was indeed a rest day.

Friday - Valentines day! I worked from home as I'd booked a meal at a new local restaurant in Sherburn which is around 2 miles walk, I have a sort of rule that if I work from home, I do my best to either walk before work with my neighbour or go for a run and I ended up running later in the evening, but managed 5.3KM with an average pace of 5.48 per KM

Saturday - parkrun day - a fairly slow effort around Pontefract parkrun mindful of the fact we had Temple Newsame 10 the day after - 5.1KM with an average pace of 8.38 per km

Sunday - Temple Newsam 10 - this was supposted to have been in January, but was iced/snowed off, whilst there wasn't ice on the day, it was really really cold! We got there quite early and picked up numbers with no issue, but I was very cold and so I bought a buff for £1 from Pre Loved Sports - something I definitely want to investigate further! I ran around with Alan and it's very challenging terrain, dare I say it I think it was a little shorter than 10 miles with my watch suggesting 15.6KM,but a wonderful route, muddy, pretty and fun to run under the M1! We got around in an hour 53 and an averagepack of 7.17 per KM

Total week's activity of 31.71KM and so working well towards my 1000 mile goal only 3.3 miles behind where I should be at this point in the year.

And then onto week 5...this didn't go quite so well and for no real obvious reasons

This is what was on the plan for the week...

17/02/25

Rest/Cross train

Run Club/60 mins

10 mins easy running

3 x 8 mins at marathon pace with 2 mins recovery

10 mins easy running

Pilates/Cross Train

Swim/gym/rest

parkrun

Snake Lane 10

And here is what I actually achieved...

Monday - a planned rest day...my legs weren't too bad from the race, but it seemed sensible to rest.

Tuesday - I was supposed to be leading #RunAndTalk, but no one had signed up, I was tired, I had a sore throat and I struggled to get myself out the door, so I cancelled the session and felt bad about not running.

Wednesday - Again I didn't run and I worked far too late and prioritised the wrong thing and felt guilty again about not running.

Thursday - I could have gone for a run on Thursday, or done some exercise as I didn't have Guides as it was half term, but again I didn't and felt bad about it.

Friday - I needed to break the no exercise cycle and so started my day of working from home with a walk and a good chat with my neighbour. I definitely prefer to be in an office for work and enjoy being around people, but I do miss the opportunity to start my day with a run or walk without a ridiculously early start. We walked our favourite loop around Newthorpe through fields and it was 3.91 miles in an houar and 3 minutes - a pretty brisk walk as both my neighbour and I are fast walkers!

Saturday - parkrun day - my friend Kate joined us for parkrun at Pontefract and we stayed local as I'd booked a skiing lesson for 12.30pm at Xscape. We managed to help Kate run a PB and achieved a time of 35.25. I then had 3 hours of skiing and it was hard work on my legs!

Sunday - Another 10 mile race, this time around Snake Lane 10 for my 6th attempt at this race. I have run times as fast as 79 minutes, but this time we had a bit of a stressful delayed journey, a stress getting to the toilet and then to the start and Alan felt a bit injured, but we got around with mostly no walking and just under the 1 hour 50 minute mark which was additionally pleasing as the wind was very strong! It's a fairly "flat" race, and very popular and with great mementoes - loved my mug the first year, and this year it was a baseball cap.

Total week's activity of 21.4KM and so dropping off a little behind my1000 mile goal, but still only 8.3 miles behind where I should be at this point in the year.

Leeds Marathon Training Week 3

2025-02-10T00:37:00.001+00:00

Into the 3rd week of training and I'm starting to feel the increase in mileage kicking in, my feet are starting to feel like they do after 5 days of walking around Glastonbury...although thankfully I'm managing to get a bit more sleep than I do there!

This is what was on the plan for the week...

03/02/25

Rest/Cross train

Run Club/60 mins

10 mins easy running

30 secs fast running; 1 min jogging – 4 reps

10 mins easy running

Pilates/Cross Train

Swim/gym/rest

parkrun

Peco?

And here is what I actually achieved...

Monday - a rare scenario of working from home and I made a promise to myself that I would do my best to always get out for a run if I was working from home. I went out for a "recovery" run at lunchtime and did 4.4KM at a slow and steady pace (6.48 per KM) and enjoyed getting out in the daylight and maintaining my step goal! It was mostly what my Garmin had suggested!

Tuesday - I wasn't sure if I was definitely going to be at run club as I was toying with the idea of going to my online bookclub, but I'd not finished the book and so I joined group 5 for the progression session week and enjoyed running and chatting with people and we covered 8.82KM at a punching 6.17 per KM and it was nice to head out following Dan's route that is quite different to what I plan. I find run club when I'm not leading always gives me new ideas for routes!

Wednesday - I was hoping to run on Wednesday, but I was overly busy with meetings in Barnsley and back home to meet a new potential guide leader and so I didn't run and to be honest, I think I needed the rest! I did at least manage to maintain my step goal streak.

Thursday - It was a bright day and I had a reasonably free lunchtime and so I took my run kit and took advantage of my amazing office as they give us complimentary showers, shampoo, shower gel, conditioner *AND* towels! I went as fast as I could for 30 minutes and covered 5.2KM along the canal with an average pace of 5.21 per KM.

Friday - I had a hectic day with lots of meetings and was working from home, but I had also got an appointment at 3pm for a coil fitting. As a woman it can sometimes be hard to follow a training plan as out of nowhere your hormones can make your life really difficult. For the past few years I've really been struggling with low mood at certain points in my cycle as well as the fact I've had low iron because I've only had around 4 "bleed free" days per month. I'm still struggling to be "heard" by the doctor as I think I probably just need HRT as I have had private tests showing I have low Oestrogen (and the symptoms kicked in after I stopped taking the combined pill), but I did finally decide to try out the suggestions of a mirena coil. They provide good vidoes and I naively thought I'd be able to just get up and log back on at work, but my heart rate dropped down to around 36 BPM and all I was good for was lying on the sofa for the rest of the evening with a hot water bottle and sweets and chocolate that Alan had bought for me. I lost my step goal streak!

Saturday - I wasn't sure if I would be up for running parkrun, but actually like many cramping symptoms, once we set off at Pontefract parkrun I was fine and I stuck with Alan for a reasonable effort of 30.28 and then showered at the gym next to the racecourse and headed down to London on a train to visit my parents.

Sunday - A long run day. I'd hoped to get to Peco, but as my Dad isn't doing so well with his Parkinsons and Dementia, I decided to spend his birthday day with him and we booked to go for a curry. It meant I was organised enough to get out for my long run early in the day and I ran up to Bushy park (past the OG parkrun start!) all the way through the park to Kingston (where I used to go to school) and then back along the river and past Hampton Court. It was pretty muddy, but decent conditions and I covered what my Garmin suggestd of an hour and 11 mins at a goal pace of 6.15 per KM. In realtity it was more like 12.8KM at an average pace of 6.12 per KM.

Total week's activity of 31.9KM and I've chipped away again at my 1000 mile goal and I'm now only 3.3 miles behind where I should be at this point in the year.

Leeds Marathon Training Week 2

2025-02-02T23:51:00.001+00:00

Its's 14 weeks until race day, deceptively long enough to feel like a "long time away", but still only 14 weeks...which will race by! This is what I had planned for this week.

Week

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

27/01/25

Rest/Cross train

Run Club/60 mins

10 mins easy running

5 mins at marathon pace

2 mins recovery

5 mins at marathon pace

2 mins recovery

5 mins at marathon pace

10 mins easy running

Pilates/Cross Train

Swim/gym/rest

parkrun

100 mins easy

And here is what I actually achieved...

Monday - An actual rest day, I did do my 10 minutes of pilates in the evening to keep strengthening to avoid injury, and I maintained my step goal, but it was very much a day of rest otherwise.

Tuesday - I had volunteered to lead group 4 for Hyde Park Harriers and I'd re-used a route from a few years back towards the Cross Green Industrial estate and covering around 9KM aiming for a pace of between 6.00 - 6.25 per KM. I had managed to repress the memory of the 1000s of traffic lights and leading a big group of 20 meant there was an elapsed time of 1hr 1 minute, but only 45mins 48 seconds of moving time. Jane kindly pointed out that it was 7.40pm and I was only at the turnaround point, so I adjusted the return route, managed to avoid as many traffic lights and we were back in good time and covered 7.66KM with an average pace of 6.15 per KM. I then took my Garmin's suggestion and modified a sprint workout and run around the carpark. I skipped the 15 minute "warm up" and mostly focussed on the 15 second "sprint" segements which were different, but fun. I covered a total of 11.06KM across the two runs

Wednesday - You'll see in the plan I had a structured session, but I was quite tired and had slept badly and had a rare WFH day and the sun was shinning, so I listened to my body and went with a Garmin suggested recovery run and did 5.15KM in 33.56 over lunchtime and enjoyed the sunshine.

Thursday - It's always hard to train on Thursdays as I have Guides at the end of the day. The traffic is also awful and I was catching up with my new boss and I'd left for work early...only to be only 10 minutes in before my usual time as the traffic meant it took me more than twice as long as usual. So it was an enforced rest day, but I did my Pilates and maintained my step goal.

Friday - Working in recruitment, you occasionally qualify for things and get to go on exciting lunches so I went to Birmingham and had a lovely meal in a restaurant called "Pasture" very meat orientated! And I had an ale, a glass of fizz, a small glass of red wine and a couple of ale shandies. My Garmin always knows if I've had alcohol and it raised up my stress levels and I had a poor night of sleep, I did maintain my step goal at least wandering to and from train stations!

Saturday - As always it was parkun and we were on the out and back course at Pontefract still, I had a steady run for most of the run and in the last KM had a bit of a sprint finish and finished in 29.14.

Sunday - A long run day. We'd been discussing where to go for our long run and I remembered that at the start of Leg 1 of the Leeds Country Way you run along a section of the "Linesway" which I remember being reasonably flat and importantly free of traffic. Alan plotted a course of around 16KM which would take us around 100 minutes and fit in with both of our plans. We started off well, but ended up taking an accidental detour around very muddy bits of St Aidans and so there was a lot more walking involved as well as a trip to the visitors centre toilet! We parked in Garforth (it's not that far away from the train station if anyone else fancied doing it) and ran out and back, but with a loop at the end. The weather was gorgeous, but the end of the run was somewhat ruined by us crossing a road junction, being over the halfway point to have a man in a car aggressively beep his horn and tell us to look where we were going - an interesting comment given he drove up behind us and entered the road we were already crossing. Alan pointed out that we had right of way...although I'm not sure how well the lesson on the Highway Code had sunk in at that point!

Total week's activity of 38.6KM and I've chipped away at my 1000 mile goal and I'm now only 6.7 miles behind where I should be at this point in the year.

Leeds Marathon Training Week 1

2025-01-27T00:35:00.005+00:00

I've still 15 weeks until Race Day so this week was mostly about the mindset of getting back into the habit of running longer and further each week.

This week here is what I had on the programme...

Week

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

20/21/25

Rest/Cross train

Run Club/60 mins

10 mins easy running

30 secs fast running; 1 min jogging – 4 reps

10 mins easy running

Pilates/Cross Train

Swim/gym/rest

parkrun

90 mins easy

And here is what I actually achieved...

Monday - 30 mins running short hill repeats - 4.5KM at 6.43 mins per KM - I hadn't planned well, so I did this in the evening after dinner, in the dark, up and down the road that goes up to my house which is about 150 in length. In fact it's so close to my house that people might not even see it on Strava due to my privacy settings - it wasn't ideal for a first training run, but what I did get was the fact I didn't make an excuse *not* to run.

Tuesday - I was down to lead #RunAndTalk with Hyde Park Harriers, but no-one had signed up or changed their mind at the last minute so I ended up running in Group 4 and having a lovely chat and catch up with Grace where we discussed nutrition on long runs. Grace prefers gels with the scientific reason that no chewing means that it doest trick your body into thinking a meal is on it's way. I prefer either Shot Bloks or Kendal Mint Cake...but I'll talk more about nutrition in a later entry, but mostly I'm clumsy and hate the sticky hands that I get trying to take a gel whilst running. EDIT - Grace has kindly read my blog and has kindly pointed out a slight correction - she pointed out that often people struggle with gels more as they *don't* chew and so nutrition arrives into the stomach without the stomach being prepared for it - so key to avoiding stomach issues is to "chew" a little to alert your stomach to nutrition. In Group 4 I paused my watch, so at the end kept running to get 8.8KM total with a pace of 6.33 mins per KM. Why 8.8k? I'm trying to hit a yearly mileage goal of 1000 miles so each day is 4.4KM to hit that target, so I knew I was due a rest day so it was good to get one day ahead.

Wednesday - Work is very all consuming at the moment and so I didn't leave the office until very very late, I could have done a similar session to Monday, but I listened to my body being tired and had an unplanned rest day instead.

Thursday - I try and plan Thursday as a rest day as I'm usually a guide leader in the evenings and I'm very often not able to muster the energy to get out for morning runs (more on that later, but it's mostly due to being on a dose of Amytriptline for migraines so that the first hours of my day I feel like a zombi. This day I had to go to my "Manchester" office which was actually in Altrincham and so I spent over 4.5 hours driving and so my exercise was maintaining my step goal streak walking around outside in the dark after dinner!

Friday - Another rest day, I went to the cinema as a last minute choice instead of heading home - saw "Better Man" - it's worth watching if you haven't seen it!

Saturday - parkrun of course! Whilst Woodhouse Moor will always be my spiritual "home" parkurn and I've never updated it on my profile, I've now done more runs at my *actual* local of Pontefract, in fact I've done 162 there and only 95 at Woodhouse Moor. Ponte is usually an essentially 1 lap route, but it's been on an out and back course for months and I think this time we were about 100m short, still a good run of 4.9KM at an average pace of 6 mins 6 seconds per KM.

Sunday - I had 90 mins in my plan and helpfully so did Alan and so we travelled to Ricall to run a route we've run a few times during marathon training. It's the Solar System route which is around 10 miles long and takes you into York with small models (to scale!) of the solar systerm and positions (to scale) until you get to the sun in York! Today we wanted ease and to be able to control our pace sensibly and so we got just past Uranus before turning back. We covered 13.35KM in 6 mins 35 per Km which was a decent pace for that distance (although if you want a flat route, this is hard to beat in Yorkshire!)

Next week I've got plans to lead group 4 on Tuesday, probably rest tomorrow, but make sure I get in at least one extra run with some intervals as well as parkrun and a Sunday long run.

I also need to make more effort on my sleep as I'm certainly feeling that training for a marathon 14 years plus since I first ran one, I can't function well on the 4 hours sleep that I did in my early 30s!

I will also be setting up my marathon sponsorship page and will raise money for Parkinsons UK and Alzheimer's Research UK as these conditions are so devasting and my Dad has had both for the past 3 years - more research and support is so sorely needed.

Leeds Marathon 2025 - lets go!

2025-01-19T23:38:00.002+00:00

"Just enter the London marathon ballot, you might get in" that was what Alan had said to me last year, and so I tried and failed to get a place, only Alan succeeded.

"Enter the club ballot and then you can run and train with me for London." and so I tried and failed to get a place. I considered Manchester marathon as I did that back in 2019, the last time Alan got into London and I didn't, but it's now on the same day as London.

I entered a few competitions, didn't get a place and then I was sat on the sofa on New Year's Eve and looked at other potential marathons and decided to sign up for Leeds again...

Why?

Despite being incredibly challenging and hilly, it's a pretty beautiful course!
The logistics mean I can stay in my own bed and get a predictiable night of sleep and the breakfast I want
Alan can drop me off and pick me up if needed!
The support last time was *INCREDIBLE* from Hyde Park Harriers, friends, family and even people like the lady who was the celebrant when me and Alan got married! - I felt like a celebrity and I reckon that makes it an absolute no-brainer for me!

It's now 16 weeks to go...and I've written my plan! Fortuantely I still run regularly enough that I know I mostly just need to build in longer Sunday runs and add an additional session into my week on top of Tuesday Run Clubs and Saturday parkruns. I also need to keep an eye on strength and conditioning and if I can monitor what I'm eating and how I'm sleeping as they play a major part in training weeks before the race.

I'm a qualified CIRF, but I qualified in late 2019...I was all set to coach people in the club to achieve amazing things in 2020, but we all had to stop and so I wrote a number of sessions for the club that we could all do remotely instead.

5 years later I thought I'd commit to sharing a summary each week of my training and I'm happy to help anyone with coaching, advice and help who is training for a Spring Marathon - please get in touch. I might even try and arrange some fun long run sessions for people to join me on.

So here's my full plan below.

It's got rest sessions built in, whilst I've built it around my schedule, someone could use it and move the sessions around, but it's important to have days with lighter loads to allow your body to recover
It's working from my current base of running which despite a seasonal cold is still pretty decent, if you are faster/slower or already run more or less, it would be wise to adjust the sessions accordingly.
I've built in planned races, I would take a view the following week if I needed to lighten my sessions at all.

Week	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
1 20/21/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 30 secs fast running; 1 min jogging – 4 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	90 mins easy
2 27/01/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 5 mins at marathon pace 2 mins recovery 5 mins at marathon pace 2 mins recovery 5 mins at marathon pace 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	100 mins easy
3 03/02/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 30 secs fast running; 1 min jogging – 4 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	Peco?
4 10/02/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 6 x 3 mins at half marathon pace with 90 secs recovery 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	Temple Newsam 10
5 17/02/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 3 x 8 mins at marathon pace with 2 mins recovery 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	Snake Lane 10
6 24/02/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	30 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	105 mins easy
7 03/03/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 30 secs fast running; 1 min jogging – 4 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	115 mins easy
8 10/03/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 5 mins steady running; 5 mins faster running; 5 mins easy – 2 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	130 mins easy
9 17/03/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 10 mins at marathon pace; 3 mins jogging – 3 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	Sheffield Half Marathon
10 24/03/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 15 mins at marathon pace; 3 mins jogging – 2 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	150 mins easy
11 31/03/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	20 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	165 mins easy
12 07/04/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	15 mins easy running 40 mins at marathon pace 15 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	Race half marathon/0 miles
13 14/04/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 5 mins tempo running; 5 mins easy running – 3 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	180 mins easy
14 21/04/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy running 15 mins at marathon pace 1 min brisk running; 1 min walking – 4 reps 10 mins easy running	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	90 mins easy
15 28/04/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy jogging Run 1 mile at marathon race pace, 10 mins easy jogging – 2 reps	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	parkrun	60 mins easy
16 05/05/25	Rest/Cross train	Run Club/60 mins	10 mins easy jogging 10 mins easy running Run 1 mile at marathon race pace; 10 mins easy jogging – 2 reps	Pilates/Cross Train	Swim/gym/rest	Volunteer at parkrun!	RACE DAY!!

Wish me luck!

Mental Health Awareness Week 2024

2024-05-14T23:06:00.003+01:00

I've spent all day convinced it was the Third Tuesday of the month and so thought it should be #RunAndTalk and that I had to miss it because I had to travel to Altrincham for a meeting and so wasn't sure if I would be back in time and so was planning on doing the session next week....only it's actually next week anyway...but I've written the blog post, so here it is!

This year's theme is "Movement - Moving more for your mental health"

Some people hear about hashtagRunAndTalk and worry they can't "Run" or even "Run and Talk" at the same time, but I'm here to say that it doesn't matter! Movement can be anything that gets your heart rate up a little bit and so for example for me this weekend it was:

Friday evening - Northern Lights hunting around dark side roads in the rural countryside near me which meant I got to fulfil a lifelong dream of seeing them as well as getting my steps in rushing about trying to find the best location to see them!

Saturday morning - parkrun with my husband Alan, as usual to start the weekend with a positive activity (I always take a selfie, but this time after staying up late for the Northern Lights on Friday, no one needs to see our tired sweaty faces!) parkrun is an important weekly activity for us, I met Alan at parkrun and made wonderful friends as a result of my first parkrun and so I now it's a staple positive way to start the weekend whether I'm running, walking or volunteering - there is always a way to participate in parkrun and add a little movement to your day. parkrun of course was my gateway to joining the wonderful Hyde Park Harriers and making some amazing friends and adding another positive weekly run routine into my calendar.

Sunday - A trip to the wonderful Spurn Point a beautiful Yorkshire Wildlife Trust site and an 8.5 mile walk up and down the point and climbing up to the top of the lighthouse - a beautiful location and a nice flat walk for anyone who wants to get back into walking without hiking up hills.

Ever since I discovered running and movement to help me manage all aspects of my mental health (which has been challenging for pretty much my entire life whether it was depression, low mood, OCD, anxiety or low self esteem trying their hardest to pull me down)

I've always been fearful of "what if I can't run?" (Thanks anxiety and the ability to catastrophise something normal and fun!) and so more recently as I've battled a hip injury (after a few other injuries and post-covid breathing issues in the past few years) I've allowed myself to be creative with other ways to "move" and enjoy movement for my mental health - here are some of the things I've found helpful:

Skiing - yes I appreciate this is still active, but weirdly didn't hurt my hip as running was doing so and you don't have to travel overseas, you can head to Castleford Xscape Snozone for a lesson or a session, or just watch others from the restaurant over the indoor slope.
Walking - walking is not to be overlooked, it allows you to be active, raise your heartrate and can be easily incorporated into a busy life - you can maybe get off a stop earlier from your bus, walk around the block at lunch to get daylight and fresh air, or even replace a coffee catch up with friends to a walking catch up - you'll also find you might talk about different things whilst walking side by side than you would in a fixed face-to-face setting. It also has an added bonus of daylight and exploring - on Sunday we saw deer running on the beach!
Step goal - Similar to above, setting a step goal will make sure if you are mostly home based, you are still keeping your body moving - I was on a 43 day 10000 step streak before realising at 11.57pm I was 600 steps off 10000...I lost my streak! But I'm having another go at beating it!
Swimming - after our trip to Spurn at the weekend, we were a bit tired and sore, so we took the opportunity to go swimming at our local pool Pontefract - Aspire in the Park it was a different way to move and I'm hoping to be good enough at some point to try another triathlon - I need to get better!
Cycling - I bought a fold up bike last year that weighs 14kg (the same weight as Ipa and Maya cat together!) and my plan now the weather is generally better is to park at the park and ride and cycle the 6K to work - on some days this will be quicker than driving to work and on all days it will save me the cost of parking!
Pilates / Physio / Yoga - I love all of these things, but definitely benefit from doing them in a class setting best, I can recommend Pilates with West Point Practice who offer zoom or in person sessions and I try and do 10 minutes of pilates / physio each day to keep my injuries at bay, by only setting 10 minutes it gives fewer excuses not to do it and each week it means I do at least 70 minutes of positive movement that I might otherwise forget

These are only suggestions - they work for me and I'd encourage anyone who wants to improve their mental health with movement to try lots of different things until you find something you enjoy and is easy to fit into your day, ideally every day. Good mental health is something that benefits from small daily positive acts repeated every day - so even if it's a walk to the bins - it all counts and it all helps!

And finally, if you are struggling, there are places who can help - asking for help is the first, but often hardest step, so if you aren't able to find the right words, ask a friend, relative, colleague or professional to help and here are some suggestions below.

Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).

Mindwell - https://www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk/ - MindWell is the mental health website for adults in Leeds. It’s funded by NHS Leeds CCG to bring together information from the NHS, Leeds City Council and the third sector into one ‘go to’ place.

SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7).

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.

Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (weekdays 10am-10pm, weekends 2pm-10pm and bank holidays 2pm–10pm), email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07786 209 697.

Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email chris@switchboard.lgbt or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.

York 10K 2023 Race Report

2023-08-06T23:29:00.011+01:00

Covid took an awful lot away from many of us and continues to impact our lives. I hated not being able to run with HPH, parkrun and races so it was a huge relief when things started up again and I was able to run in different areas and with more people than just dragging Alan out with me to do laps around the village.

My biggest frustration remains the effect Covid seems to have had on my fitness (and indeed Alan as well). During lockdown, being told I was only *allowed* to run once a day meant I got quite fit and even managed a 23.24 "not parkrun" in September 2020 which was edging closer to my previous peak times back in 2016. Having the privaledge of being able to work from home throughout the majority of the pandemic meant that both myself and Alan avoided covid until late March last year. We travelled to Vegas in February and ran a half marathon with a decent time around 2hrs 8 and even a day before I tested positive I ran a 24.31 at Pontefract parkrun.

However, since we both caught covid last year, all fitness has felt like a literal uphill battle (with that hill ressembling Post Hill most of the time!) We signed up for the Leeds Marathon (and I still need to write a blog about this!), but Alan had to drop out a few weeks before and I had a lovely race and smiled all the way around, but was very much nearly a personal worst in terms of my time of 5hrs 8 minutes. Neither of us has had a "long covid" diagnosis, so I can only imagine how tough it is for people who have, but just when we were getting back on top of our running fitness last year, Covid put a stop to our hopes for a return to racing. There isn't anything obvious that has held us back from returning to fitness (which is almost more frustrating) but being less active has meant I've put on weight and putting on weight has meant it's been harder to run and I've lost fitness. (I just want to point out that I'm not someone who judges people on weight as it's a very complex issue, but I'm at a point where my clothes don't fit and my thighs are rubbing together and I just like to feel more comfortable when I run, so I'm hoping that some more focussed activity and more considered nutrition choices might return me to a body that I'm more comfortable in)

We have signed up for a few things that we've not been able to complete such as Ilkley Half recently and so when Alan messaged me this week to point out there were still spaces for York 10K this weekend and did I fancy it, I jumped at the chance.

The one and only time I have ever run York 10K previously was back in 2016 and I remember enjoying it, but feeling a bit disappointed with my time of 46.28 (!). It's not as "flat" as you might think, but is a lovely route with lots to keep your brain interested and so I was looking forward to it today, especially as the weather this morning actually resembled summer!

We set off from South Milford at 7.30am and were there in half an hour which left us around 90 minutes to pick up our numbers, grab a coffee and queue for the toilets - this took a lot longer than we'd have predicted and toilet queues were huge and slow moving. We got to the start pen for around 9.20am and we crossed the start line around 9.33am which we were grateful for as there were rumours that they might need to delay the start.

The first couple of KM are a bit up and down through the outskirts of York City Centre and Alan and I always planned to run together and we decided to try keep close to the 1 hour pacers (who were very amusing teasing me with lots of comments about the most annoying HPH members...it wasn't as mean as it sounds typing it out!)

I'd set my garmin to pace us for 6 minute KM and we were ahead of target pace for the first 6KM with sub 6 minute KMs. We loved running past York Minster and all the twists and turns around York confusing lots of early morning shoppers and there was lots of good crowd support most of the way around. I spotted fellow HPH Ande who regularly runs in group 2 when I'm leading, but delivered an amazing performance and should definitely consider jumping up to Group 3. We also bumped into my friend Tana who is a lapsed HPH and had a great race and we had a bit of cat and mouse with over the final 1.5KM..

At 6KM we had to slow a little and have a few walk breaks as we were running up and over several bridges. There is a lovely part where you run over the runners in front of you and can wave! We managed to run the last 800m which was a slightly psychologically challenging out and back along the edge of York Racecourse. We crossed the finish line together and were pleased with a 1hr 02 mins and 43 seconds.

The goody bag was decent with a medal, a carob bar, packed of crisps, bottle of water and electrolyte tablet. We'd opted to decline a t-shirt as we both have too many, but it was a nice looking navy blue one.

I had such a lovely time running this morning in the sunshine with Alan and seeing some friendly faces. My time was over 20 minutes slower than it was 7 years ago, but I think I enjoyed this race even more as I'm now much more grateful to be able to do things that 3 years ago seemed like they might never happen again.

Goals for 2023

2022-12-30T22:52:00.002+00:00

The fact that I had to look up my 2022 goals doesn't bode hugely well for whether I managed to achieve them...

This is what I came up with....and a guess of how I've done so far!

Daily

10 minutes of reading (at least) - Yep!
10 minutes of writing (at least) - Nope!
10 minutes of daylight (at least) - Yep!
Only have treat food (chocolate, takeaway or booze) if I've had my 5 a day fruit and veg - Nope!
10 minutes of activity - cardio or resistance (at least) - Nope!
In bed to allow enough time to sleep for c8 hours - I'll find out my average soon on my Lifecycle app, but I have a feeling that it won't be quite 8 hours
10 minutes of physio exercises - Nope!
Listen to one new piece of music every day - Nope! I did get up to 55 songs in my playlist so a good 310 off what I was aiming for
1 hour everyday away from social media/phone - Nope!

Monthly

Read 4 - 5 books (4.33 is needed to hit my target of 52 in the year) - Pretty much achieved
One new place visited - Did quite well..but didn't track
One walk in a beautiful location - Did ok, but need to do more
One thing planted - achieved this
One item/box/bag donated to charity/recycled - nope
One blog post (at least) - nope!
One gym visit/strength session - better, but nope!
One new film watched - think I managed this
One catch up with friends - not too bad, but need to be better
One craft session - only managed a couple of these
One letter/postcard - not in general, but did well with postcards whilst in Vegas
Lead/coach one run club session - Yep I think I was there consistently on this one
One live music/theatre/comedy trip (either attended or booked) - Yep pretty sure this was achieved
12 days veggie only - nope - did make a effort to eat much less meat though!

For 2023 I'm going to try and keep it simple, but also track better! (I've just built a spreadsheet)

Daily Goals

10 minutes of reading (at least)
10 minutes of writing (at least)
10 minutes of daylight (at least)
Only have treat food (chocolate, takeaway or booze) if I've had my 5 a day fruit and veg
10000 steps each day
In bed to allow enough time to sleep for c8 hours
10 minutes of physio exercises
1 hour everyday away from social media/phone

Yearly Goals

Run Leeds marathon and help a coaching group run it
Swim again in a pool
Finish my novel
Start writing a new novel
Read 3 books about owning a forest
Work out how much it costs to own a forest
Work out how much money I need to buy a forest
Investigate courses on forestry management

Monthly Goals

Read 4 - 5 books (4.33 is needed to hit my target of 52 in the year)
One new place visited
One walk in a beautiful location
One thing planted
One item/box/bag donated to charity/recycled
One blog post (at least)
One gym visit/strength session
One new film watched
One catch up with friends
One craft session
One letter/postcard
Lead/coach one run club session
One live music/theatre/comedy trip (either attended or booked)
12 days veggie only
12 new songs listened to

Wish me luck!

World Mental Health Awareness Day

2022-10-10T23:36:00.003+01:00

Today is World Mental Health Awareness day and the theme for 2022 is 'Make mental health and wellbeing for all a global priority' and it's been on my "to do" list to write a blog post about this theme for #RunAndTalk for ages, but I've not necessarily been taking my own advice and making writing, something that is very important to me, a priority. However, before it hits midnight...I will get this post out!

With everything that is going on around the world from the cost of living crisis, the war in Ukraine, climate change and the aftermath of covid there is much to make us think that good mental health is just a "nice to have" on top of our basic needs, but in reality the line between physical and mental good health is not really a line at all as the two are so closely interlinked. I was fortunate enough to be invited to #LIFI2022 (by the lovely Claire Booth who sadly couldn't make it on the evening) and watched a panel discussion chaired by Bryony Gordon speaking to Gail Porter, Luke Ambler (Founder of Andy's Man Club), David Harewood and Sarah Hughes CEO of Centre for Mental Health and the topic was "How do we talk about Mental Health?" The conversation and stories shared were incredibly moving, distressing and laugh out loud funny and at the Q&A I was able to ask my question that was as a Mental Health Champion and leader of #runandtalk I was aware supporting people is sometimes tough for an empathetic person and I believe it's important to put your own airmask on first so you can continue to help others. The panel all had great ways to ensure they retained good mental health including, singing, dancing, walking their dog, getting out into green spaces and down the bed with their kids for a big cuddle. (PS I kinda want Sarah Hughes to run as PM as she's so clear and direct on what needs to change to make the bigger improvements we all need! She made the complete point that without our basic needs being met - food, shelter, warmth - then we can't prioritise mental health and that the government and Labour party must do more!)

Like many things, if you don't prioritise your own mental health and the mental health of those close to you it will potentially reach a crisis point when you have no option to take a step back and make it your priority.

I'm not one of those people that is going to tell you that you can "choose your hard" and that you have choice over how to react to any challenges that life throws at you as sometimes you just won't have the mental resilience to do so. And as much as I love running and know that the benefits to my mental and physical health through being active is immeasurable, I also recognise that some people can't run or be active in the same way and so instead I what I will say is try as hard as you can to every day take 10 minutes to do something that you know is positive towards your mental health and do that - for me it looks like:

📚 10 minutes of reading as I drink my coffee before heading out to work

🏃🏻‍♀️ Going for a walk/run around somewhere green and within daylight (Really important at this time of year to leave the house/office and see the daylight for a few mintues!)

👩‍❤️‍👨🐈‍⬛🐈 Spending time with my husband and cats

🎨🖌10 minutes of arts/craft/creative writing

🙋🏻‍♀️ Volunteering (as a guide leader or run leader)

I often find that a quick few minutes writing in my diary at the end of the day and a few moments planning a short (and importantly achieveable) to - do list helps me prioritise the things that contribute well to my own mental health.

Last week, I also prioritised my mental health by spending some time chatting to a Burn Out Coach This time last year I took two months off work inbetween jobs for a variety of reasons. Reflecting now I could sense at the time I was overwhelmed, but now I know I was definitely burnt out and my personal resilience levels were very limited from both stressful events in relation to my family who live 5 hours drive away and a particularly unpleasant set of events at work that essentially constituted constructive dismissal and meant I had to resign with no role lined up in advance.

Ultimately I thought that taking 2 months off work would be all I needed to recover, but the persistent low level migraine headaches returned after I'd stopped taking medication and they are still around to this day despite my work situation improving signficantly.

From my brief conversation I've identified a couple of key things that I'm now more aware of including the fact that it's very easy to focus on what I've not achieved at the end of the working day, rather than the positives and that I potentially have unrealistic expectations of myself on what I *should* manage to get done. I'm trying to now make a note of at least 6 things each day that I have achieved. I am also not great at delegating work which has potentially held me back from progressing my career in the past and my coach identified that re-framing this view as limiting the potential for those in my team to achieve more if I don't give them opportunties to take on extra work. And then ultimately she identified that I can be someone who is sometimes too willing to take on the problems of others, I am a good listener, and even better problem solver, but I'm really not good at telling someone when I need help myself or that I don't have the resilience to support them and can be a bit like a sponge taking on too much for everyone else. Somehow I must try and learn how to ask for help as it's something that I find almost impossible to do.

Investing in my conversation with a Burnout Coach isn't really that different to speaking to a running coach or hiring a personal trainer, but it's a bit harder to identify some tangible benefits and impact they are having as you can see your performance improve/measure your running times more easily in a physical sense. When it comes to mental health, it's likely we get to quite a far gone point before we'd seek help and support and much like running, if we get that niggle investigated early on it's less likely to become an ongoing issue causing us chronic pain.

Finally as a Mental Health First Aider I would also encourage anyone who feels as though they are at breaking point to reach out to someone and start a conversation and equally anyone who is worried about someone in their life, maybe today invite them out for a walk/coffee/chat as caring for others can be as good for your mental health as it is for theirs. And please please do check on your most helpful and supportive people in your life...there is a good chance they are the worst people to know how to ask for their own help!

As always there are plenty of resources available on the #RunAndTalk page and please reach out if you need any extra help signposting yourself to the right support, or want to know where to signpost someone else.

Co - working Spaces

2022-05-17T23:18:00.000+01:00

In my new job, I work in a co-working space if I have a meeting, or just want a bit of a change of scenary. Today I was in the co-working space with no particular agenda.

It's a trendy place where I feel both overdressed and underdressed at the same time. There are exposed ducts and brickwork and I look out through large windows onto the old Majestics nightclub building that I spent hours losing my friends whilst we danced with our hands in the air trying to catch lasers. It's now been burned down and then rebuilt as offices for Channel 4, but I've not seen anyone particularly interesting around there. In fact much like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, no one ever seems to go in and nobody ever comes out.

There is apparently a roof terrace, I should ask one of the front desk staff to show me, but I feel like I've been there awkwardly too many times to be asking now, but when I hunted by myself following signs around the building I nervously and purposefuly walked up and down the same corridor before diving into the stairwell and down the stairs before anyone noticed me.

The biggest positive to the space is the coffee machine that will make a latte, cappuccino or americano by just pushing a button and the three different types of tea (English Breakfast, Green Tea and Morrocan Mint Tea) all available to sip during the day. The tea bags are all neatly presented in glass jars with labels explaining the ideal temperature for the water for each tea, but there being no way of changing the temperature of the water that comes out of the "tea" setting of the coffee machine.

In the handful of times I've been there I've observed some interesting behaviour including:

The interview I overheard between a very young graduate age man and the CEO of a recruitment business that should have been left behind in the late 80s (if indeed should have been allowed to happen) 'Would you speak to your friends like that?' he asked the smartly, awkwardly dressed waffling apprentice type. I pretended to not be listening and spoke to my contacts like normal people wondering if I'd perhaps turned invisible or whether I was exactly invisible to people with egos the size of the CEO?

Today there was a woman who appeared to work for another recruitment firm. She was wearing a smart black strappy jump suit and seemed to be fairly corporate, but was spending a long time on a teams call with a man discussing ingredients for breakfast sandwiches "ketchup and tomato in that one, no, no, no, hash brown, and yes sausage and no, no, no" she stamped her feet visibly angered by the responses she was getting 'crack on, just crack on' she shouted and then hung up, retreating to a table where I heard further breakfast ingredient discussions. I wonder what her job was, she wasn't organising an event from what I could tell and she did mention the word "allergens" several times?

Calderdale Way Relay

2022-05-16T23:45:00.001+01:00

I thought I'd run this twice before, but because of an often clash with my birthday, the last time I ran this race was 2017 and I had a chance to do a decent recce beforehand. I remember it being tough, but beautiful and I love a team relay.

This year I had been training hard for the Vegas Half Marathon and my fitness was starting to come back, so when Danni was asking for people interested it seemed like a great time to sign up. I ran a 2 hour 8 minute time at the Vegas Half on the 27th February and on the 26th March I ran a 24.31 minute parkrun at Pontefract and was finally feeling that after injuries and illness I was getting my fitness back, only the following day I inevitably tested positive for Covid after avoiding it for 4 days after Alan had tested positive.

We were both fortunate to "recover" pretty quickly with us both testing postive for around 10 days and not needing any additional medical support, but trying to run or be active afterwards has really been more challenging that I would have predicted with my garmin proudly declaring recovery times of 60+ hours after a parkrun!

All credit to Danni for managing to arrange a team, the logistics and chase us all for payment and signatures and I was allocated leg 6 again (handy as I didn't get a chance to recce) and she had also paired me up with Jed who I've run with a few times in Groups 3 and 4 before catching Covid. I knew I'd likely be slower than the last time I ran the relay and so was slightly worried when I saw Jed had run a 1 hour 34 Leeds Half Marathon the weekend before the relay! I told him that he'd potentially hate me by the end of the relay as I'd not managed further than 7 miles post covid!

I prepped my kit the night before digging out a running rucksack, the print out of the route, a compass, full body waterproofs, hat and gloves...and no-one checked my bag this time. I also downloaded the route onto my garmin to help if I didn't remember where we were going from the last time.

We planned our travel logistics and I drove to Leeds and picked Jed up and then we got stuck in a very long queue of traffic for the Leeds match, fortunately we'd left a load of time (meeting at 12pm to hopefully get there in 30 minutes) we managed to find a parking space on the road near the start and I grabbed a packed of crisps and used the toilet in a pub nearby.

Registration was swift and we had about 45 minutes to wait before the mass start and we watched a few teams pass over the baton as we waited for 2pm to arrive.

They set us all off and we piled off down the grassy hill and into the woods where there were a few traffic jams at tighter parts of the route. It was a really warm day and the sun had come out and so we got to run across bluebell lined paths and up and down slopes to the path along a field.

Fortunately much of the route was familar to me as I do have a decent memory for recalling routes I've done previously, even if it's been a few years, but having a few people up ahead to follow (and occasionally behind to tell us when we were taking a slightly wrong turn) was really useful.

I had conveniently forgotten just how hilly Leg 6 is with around 477m of elevation across 17.2km route. I got through the first 10K reasonably swiftly in just over an hour and seven minutes with Jed not having to wait for me too much (although I suspect he was very much running at a slower pace than he could have done!) but then for the next 7km I really needed to employ the tactic of walking up all of the hills and indeed along a fair chunk of the flat sections.

The views as usual were beautiful which almost made the fact I had to walk like a Gorilla up at least 90% of the uphill sections worthwhile and running down the long stretch onto the last section of the canal at the end was definitely good fun!

We got around to the finish and took a slight detour along the road rather than the field, but were able to spot a rather tempting looking ice cream van and we finished in 2 hours 21 which is a good 20 minutes slower than my last attempt, but I'm really glad I managed to get around and finish it.

We rewarded ourselves at the ice cream van and took a walk to the bus station to get a bus back to the start to pick up my car. Note for future runners the 508 bus goes from Leeds right to the start and it's only 10 minutes walk to the bus station which can make car logistics a bit easier.

I still feel bad that Jed had to slow down and walk/wait for me as much as he did, but I think we both had an enjoyable run out through Halifax and as much as I might regret it later, I do still think I want to do it again...only this time I'll definitely train more and try my best to avoid pandemic diseases!

#runandtalk and Mental Health Awareness Week

2022-05-10T23:37:00.001+01:00

Today was a Tuesday, but not a first Tuesday, but as it's Mental Health Awareness Week with a theme of loneliness I put on an extra session as I know that many people would potentially benefit from company if they were feeling lonely.

I've been posting each day on LinkedIn as well to tie in with the theme and I'm hoping that it makes a difference to some people.

I've loved being more social again in the past few months, but it's still quite jarring to get used to and so at times I've had to force myself a bit, or nudge might be the right word to make sure that I do things to make me feel positive and social. I don't want to slip back into a more hermit like existence as I did before 2010 when I joined WI and made lots of really important friends.

The run was nice as we found some ginnels or maybe snicketts that I wasn't familiar with, saw an interesting carving from a tree in Woodhouse Ridge and some rabbits back on campus and then we had a quick drink and chat at Nation of Shopkeepers where I've not been for years.

Habits & Nicholas Cage

2022-05-02T23:38:00.002+01:00

This year has been a year of interruptions and distractions. Some have been positive like going away on holiday for the first time in 2 years to LA and Las Vegas to run the Las Vegas Half Marathon and some have been less positive (or maybe more positive) such as catching covid on the 27th March 4 days after Alan had a headache and took a test.

I'm now reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, well I'm actually listening to it via Audible and it's reminded me of a very useful tip that I gained on an Arvon Master Class by David Quantick in 2020, bascially along the lines of writing being like exercise, if you do some of it every day, it becomes easier to do more of it and get better at it.

Covid interrupted all of my healthy habits - exercise, daylight, social interaction, volunteering and more and it created some negative ones - downloading more computer games, lack of ability to sleep at a sensible time with not as many physical cues. It also massively increased my screentime and probably alcohol consumption as well. The brain fog and forgetfulness on top of headaches have also made reading hard.

One month on and I'm starting to feel a bit better, but shifting back to healthy habits has been more of a challenge. Atomic Habits has had some helpful suggestions such as "Habit Stacking" where I'll try and tag on healthy additional habits to things I'm already doing i.e. if I go for a run, I'll come back and do 10 minutes of resistance and stretching rather than having to do it at a separate time late in the evening. Also facing a Tough Mudder in August I desperately need to get back into the gym, so I've suggested to Alan that after parkrun each Saturday we can head to the gym for a quick workout as we'll already be in workout gear and won't have to get showered an additional time.

This weekend has been a fairly productive and slightly more normal one. On Friday we went to Sainsburys and stocked up on groceries and then on Saturday I did an Arvon class with Jessica Andrews which has given me some great ideas to get my novel back on track including that if I'm feeling a bit bored, it's not necessarily because the novel itself is boring (although there's a risk if you write bored, you'll bore your reader) but that it can be self-doubt or just impatience and that potentially (although she doesn't necessarily use this method herself) starting a new project makes it less important to make the existing project "perfect". Consequently, I'm going to try and blog more, journal more, free write more which will hopefully make me more creative and inspired to finish the novel. It also feeds into one of the Atomic Habits chapters where it mentions a study where photography students were put into groups to either be graded on quantity (100 photos needed to be submitted) or quality (1 perfect photo to be submitted) the first group ended up producing better work as they just experimented more and were more practised photographers.

Yesterday I moved the furniture around in my office so that the sofabed is now against the wall facing the bookcase and the window. The entrance is now slightly obstructed, but I can sit on the sofa and read looking at my books (accessing all the shelves) and also looking out of the window. Alan is less impressed with my efforts, but I'm pleased with how it feels now in this room. We also went on our first longer run and did 7 miles to Fairburn and back with a bit of walking, but we got there ok.

This morning I mostly set up a spreadsheet for guides, learning some new excel tips from both YouTube and Alan's help. I then went for a run and dropped off a book as a present for my friend Gem's little girl's belated birthday and then stretched as soon as I'd got back from the run.

We then went shopping for some chefs knives and lightweight camping chairs at the Junction 32 outlet, had Pizza Express for tea and watched The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. I loved it as I do love Con Air and this was a very clever, very funny very action packed film with lots of self referential stuff that made me smile. It was just what I needed in terms of escapism and I massively recommend it.

A new approach to new year's resolutions

2022-01-02T00:51:00.004+00:00

Year after year I would write resolutions that were challenging and pretty much year long, which is a long time to keep up the energy of depriving yourself of something or doing more of something.

My 20 things 20 times in 2020 and then 21 things in 2021 were inspiring, but again with a distanced view of a year it was easy to fall behind and feel a little bit disallusioned on some of the things I was working towards, so this time I have a new strategy. I will have daily, monthly and yearly goals and I'll revise my monthly goals depending on how the month has gone. Importantly they'll all be focussed on doing more good things, than trying to do fewer bad things.

Daily

10 minutes of reading (at least)
10 minutes of writing (at least)
10 minutes of daylight (at least)
Only have treat food (chocolate, takeaway or booze) if I've had my 5 a day fruit and veg
10 minutes of activity - cardio or resistance (at least)
In bed to allow enough time to sleep for c8 hours
10 minutes of physio exercises
Listen to one new piece of music every day
1 hour everyday away from social media/phone

Monthly

Read 4 - 5 books (4.33 is needed to hit my target of 52 in the year)
One new place visited
One walk in a beautiful location
One thing planted
One item/box/bag donated to charity/recycled
One blog post (at least)
One gym visit/strength session
One new film watched
One catch up with friends
One craft session
One letter/postcard
Lead/coach one run club session
One live music/theatre/comedy trip (either attended or booked)
12 days veggie only

Yearly

Run 2022 K or 1256.4 miles
Hit my work budget target
Finish the first draft of my novel and have at least 1 person to read it and give me feedback
250th parkrun

21 things 21 times in 2021

2022-01-01T23:39:00.001+00:00

This year's challenges felt far more...well challenging, some of that was from ongoing Covid issues, some of it was from challenges from things that happened to my family that were serious and unexpected and some from work changes. All in all though I'm pleased with what I did achieve and it was a useful structure to follow for the year, but I've got some different plans for 2022!

Here's a quick review!

1 - Complete 21 bike rides outside - erm...I only managed this once!

2 - Donate to charity / recycle 21 bags/boxes/items of stuff - This was better, depending on how strict I am - I definitely did 21 items!

3 - Go to 21 yoga or pilates sessions.- I kinda lost count, but I've checked on garmin and I did 20 sessions of Pilates and 3 of Yoga so achieved!

4 - Write 21 letters or postcards - I didn't do as well with letterwriting and we didn't really manage to go anywhere where postcard writing was feasible, but if I include Christmas cards I sent with notes in then - achieved!

5 - Complete at least 21 crafting sessions - either alone or even better with friends - I only managed 10, but 3 were in person with friends which was nice! Next year I'll buy myself another Craftadvent calender!

6 - 21 blog entries - either weekly summary or topic specific - Not achieved as only managed 6, but I did do lots of other writing!

7 - 21 sessions of mindfulness - Ideally I'd do this everyday, but I'm not great at always remembering, so this is a nice achievable target. - If I count using the headspace app to get to sleep, this was definitely achieved, but I need to do more active mindfulness ideally!

8 - 21 walks in lovely places - So I counted 14, but I think that some of the very long days on our Hadrian's Wall challenge probably count as more than 1 and I didn't count walks around the village with my neighbour and they were in lovely places, but didn't feel as count worthy! My absolutely favourite place was Malham, it was the first time this year that my ongoing headache/low level migraine actually went away for a bit before I started taking Amitrptyline.

9 - Leading/backmarking/coaching at least 21 run club sessions in person or remotely - So I lead/backmarked in person 19 times and developed I think 6 sessions for the summer mile training programme, so I am going to say this was achieved!

10 - Volunteer at least 21 times - Between guides, vaccine stewarding and parkrun I have achieved this, but hope to do a bit more in 2022, especially at parkrun.

11 - Meet friends for coffee/lunch/catch ups at least 21 times - a couple of these were on zoom, but excitingly most were in person!

12 - Read 21 books - I read 29, have been so happy to get back into reading in the past 2 years.

13 - Watch 21 new films - I think I probably managed this, although I've only written 12 down, however we did join Cineworld Unlimited and have actually seen 3 films (Dune, Ghostbusters Afterlife and No Time to Die) in the cinema which was great!

14 - Learn 21 grammar topics - despite studying English Language and Literature at University and attending a "grammar" school I never understand what people are talking about with tenses, first person etc to the level I want to, so I'm going to challenge myself to learn 21 new topics around this to help with my writing. - Nope...I don't think I was really engaged by this one

15 - Have 21 days where I complete a social media rest - i.e. don't check Facebook etc - messages from actual humans is ok! - Nope...I think I probably need to try a bit harder though and perhaps set myself targets during the day instead.

16 - Visit 21 new places (not countries, just different places that I've not been before, whether a restaurant, or a nice place to walk - my Yorkshire Wildlife Trust membership gives me lots of ideas) - I only wrote down 18 places, but again I'd count the fact our walking holiday took us to muliple places on the same day. I think one of my favourites again was Malham, but I also loved Riley's Fish Shack

17 - Visit the gym / do home work outs 21 times - Didn't really manage this, still haven't been back to the gym post Covid (so nearly 2 years!). Alan did persuade me to try to learn to ski so we have been skiing at Xscape 6 times.

18 - Plant 21 "things" whether seed bombs or vegetables. I managed 13 different varities of plants and multiples of these, so this was achieved!

19 - Watch 21 live music/comedy/guest readings - on zoom or hopefully some in person - By going to - Managed to achieve this with End of the Road festival seeing Hot Chip the following week at Heaton Park and also the funniest online zoom I've ever seen with Offmenu Podcast with James Acaster and Ed Gamble.

20 - Eat entirely veggie for 21 days - I did achieve this on quite a few days, but kept forgetting to count, so hopefully, but not sure!

21 - Complete 21 chapters or re-edits of chapters on my novel - I achieved this and have only got about 5/6 chapters to finish, need to crack on with it though and get some volunteer readers for some feedback on my first draft!

Other Targets

Run 2021 KM or 1256 miles in 2021 - this is 256 more that last year about an extra KM or 5 - 6 mins per day. - Not quite, I achieved 976.3 miles as I fell off pace about halfway through the year and also have not been out of the house much since picking up a heavy cold on Christmas day. I did manage to cover a total of 1297 miles including a tiny bit of cycling, and the rest was running, walking and skiing, so I think I'll take that as a win.
Ride at least 122.2 hours in 2021 (2 hours and 21 minutes every week on average) to help with the below target - covid permitting! - I only managed...3 hours and 27 minutes including some time on zwift, this wasn't the year I did much cycling at all.
Complete half ironman triathlon - Sundowner - Didn't get anywhere with this!
Donate my hair to Little Princess Trust in celebration of getting vaccinated (fingers crossed!) - Achieved - donated 16 inches in July after nearly 2 years with no haircuts!

Other things that I achieved that I didn't plan or expect:

New Job - After nearly 14 years at one company that I really enjoyed working for and had some great colleagues, I ended up in a situation where I was forced to resign with nothing to go to. It was probably one of the bravest things I've had to do as work has always been a constant and a safety blanket for me, I'm really pleased that I managed to find a new role with a great company and new manager who were understanding to allow me to have a couple of months out inbetween and I've made a good start to a new challenge of opening their Leeds office in December.
Supporting my family through some of the biggest challenges that we have faced.
Getting back to face to face guiding in November, it was so rewarding to finally be back in person with guides.
My most viral ever LinkedIn post...over 111000 views and 1433 reactions - lots of debate that has given me inspiration for a new blog post about how people are predisposed to recruit to their own biases around length of time in a role, when actually it should be shaped around what skills and experiences are needed by the role to be recruited.

My first shift as a volunteer vaccination steward

2021-12-12T21:33:00.004+00:00

When the announcement for recruiting NHS volunteers via the RVS went out early on in the pandemic, I eagerly entered my details only to not receive the "confirm your email" email (stupid inconsistent hotmail.com email address from 1998). I joined the village support group instead, but didn't end up needing to do anything as it turns out South Milford is a very self supporting community and we all helped each other out as neighbours without really needing to reach out via social media. (Alan was accepted straight away, but didn't get many alerts at all and none at a time when he wasn't working, so again it seems locally we've all been good at looking after those who live near us.)

Then as a St John Ambulance trained first aider, I was excited to receive an email inviting me to apply to be a vaccine volunteer, only I didn't pass the screening at that time (I assume because I am asthmatic and this was before I'd had any jabs at all)

I really enjoy volunteering and get an awful lot of enjoyment from it as well as it being a really important tool for me to manage my mental health. I still volunteered in a few different ways such as continuing to deliver guides through zoom and helping write lockdown running training sessions.

I went for my Covid Booster on Thursday and when I got back Alan mentioned he'd had an email from the RVS about volunteering to be a vaccine steward so I thought I'd see if I could sign up properly using a different email address. This time it worked and I was able to confirm my email address and log onto the GoodSam app. I filled in my details on the app and uploaded my ID and also a recent DBS I'd had through Guides (you don't need this to be a vaccine steward volunteer, but if you have a DBS from within the past 12 months it does allow you to volunteer for different roles if you like such as the "Check in and Chat" role).

Alan and me then looked on the app for potential shifts that we could choose to volunteer and we found shifts at the Batley & Spen Vaccination Centre on Sunday that needed 2 volunteers so we both signed up. The shifts are 4 hours in duration which is long enough to feel like you are making a difference, but not too long that you feel you've not got time to enjoy your weekend. The app is pretty easy to use and you are able to book onto shifts fairly far in advance if you need to be organised, or you can fill something the following day.

As a Volunteer Vaccine Steward you need to be able to do at least 2 shifts per month and in return you get sent a hi vis. They can take some time to be sent out (c2-3 weeks), but you can volunteer straight away without it - we used our own hi vis vets to help identify us as volunteers today.

We signed up for the 1pm - 5pm shift and so did an LFT test before we left and set off stopping at Starbucks near Ikea on the way. Vaccination centres are typically always blessed with parking and we were able to park close by to the centre on the street. We spoke to the site manager when we arrived who very quickly showed us what we needed to do. One role was to be a greeter at the entrance and show people where to go to get checked in after reading a sign and being offered hand sanitiser and a mask and the other role was in the waiting area, wiping down chairs with sanitising wipes after people had finished using them as well as keeping an eye on people in case they needed any assistance.

For the first 3 hours I cleaned chairs and Alan was at the entrance and it was a fairly steady flow of people and it was a game of skill and memory to work out which chairs had been used and needed wiping down. I was working with another lady who worked for the local authority and so we covered the c12 rows of 6 chairs between us. We were well looked after and I was given a Capri Sun to drink and offered tea, coffee, crisps, cake and biscuits. In a bit of a lull Alan asked if he could perhaps grab a jab himself as the vaccination centre was offering walk in appointments and so he did and we swapped roles and I went to greet people at the entrance.

The entrance was initially quite steady, but got much busier towards the end of the shift. People were all polite and happy to be getting their jabs and there were quite a few walk-ins who looked relieved when I said just to go and get checked in. I handed out masks, offered directions and hand santiser and reassured people who were worried about being too late or too early. Alan had a much busier hour as he was working on his own covering more chairs, but we were able to wave at each other from a distance.

It was a really positive experience and after the vaccine volunteers had been so kind to my Dad getting his booster in October, it felt good to be able to give something back today. The only mildly amusing interaction was a member of the public who decided to give me feedback on my chair wiping technique and a kid shouting through the door of the centre before I heard his friend whisper "ssh the door is open!"

I sometimes worry about "virtue signalling" when I post these things, but I do it more as a record of my experience and for anyone who has thought about volunteering and was either unsure as they didn't know what to expect, or had put it off for whatever reason, Or for people who didn't realise there are still opportunities to help out. I suspect in the coming weeks after the annoucement today the centres will be even busier, so if you think you'd like to spare a couple of hours I'd really recommend the experience based on how things went for us today.

A few additional things:

You can claim expenses for mileage and hand sanitiser
If you are due a vaccination (first, second or booster) you should be able to get one whilst on your shift
The staff whether clinical or non clincal and other volunteers work really really hard, we were both knackered after just 4 hours, and these guys do longer shifts many days in a row. Even more respect to them than before!
And...lots of other FAQ answers here

How #runandtalk helps me

2021-10-20T13:25:00.002+01:00

Overjoyed after reaching the end of 91 miles of walking Hadrian's Wall path!

I work in recruitment, or rather I did work in recruitment, at the moment I'm having a small break which is giving me much needed time to do a few very important things and one thing I wanted to do was to tell people a bit about it.

I don't think that my life is especially noteworthy, but the reason I wanted to write this is because I've been a mental health champion both within work, but also within Hyde Park Harriers and the one thing that is clear is that whilst we have numerous days marking "Mental Health" and the conversation is much more open than when I started my career 20 years ago, it's still clear that some people will be going through incredibly challenging times alone and thinking they are the only people feeling that way. It's important for people to talk, but it's also important for them to be able to listen and realise that they aren't a terrible individual for feeling like they do because actually others feel the same.

The first thing I always say is that is that mental health isn't a competition and this is something really relevant in Covid times as the vast majority of us have had some pretty awful things happen in the past 18 months and if *your* experiences don't feel as worthy as others to be sad or depressed, but you still can't bring yourself to go out for a run, speak to a friend or even brush your hair it doesn't mean you don't have the "right" to feel sad. Sometimes it's harder to tackle mental ill health when there isn't an obvious cause so the best advice I can give is that if you aren't feeling yourself or you notice that you are avoiding things you used to enjoy doing regularly, please start a conversation with someone whether that's a good friend, family member, a colleague or a professional. Likewise if you notice someone you know is behaving differently a simple check-in of how they are or inviting them for a walk can make more of a difference than you might imagine.

So back to me. I've worked within recruitment for 20 years as of the 1st October this year and during that time I've had barely any time off ill, not missing a single day when I had broken my shoulder and was typing one handed for weeks and on very strong pain killers. Discovering that I have low self esteem in 2017 (which was cleverly disguising itself as my assuming I am a competitive person) I would be likely to be overperforming in work if there was more horrible stuff that I was having to deal with outside of work. Work was escapism and a place where generally if you worked hard you'd get validation, that you were a worthy person by beating colleagues on monthly sales league tables. I even went into work to sell a retained advertising package for a senior role less than 24 hours after being mugged in the work car park and was most likely mildly concussed after being hit on the back of the head twice.

Recruitment is always a competitive industry and to a certain extent I thrive in this environment. Certainly in covid times I was always grateful to be working throughout, even if it was flat out at home with the physical boundaries between work and home removed. I was notching up 50 - 60 hour weeks with nothing to distract me away from the laptop with hundreds of emails and tasks to be done. I worked for a well established large recruitment firm since 2008 and I led my small team through the covid crisis and we started to break records. I was consistently anxious, worried and finding the world a challenging place, but work remained a safe place for me and I knew I get paid at the end of each month.

In January this year there were a few changes and that is the norm in large recruitment businesses. I had a new boss who I'd not really met or worked with before and we went straight into the 3rd lockdown. I don't know why exactly, but this new relationship didn't work. I carried on doing my job and my team continued to perform really well, but in Februrary I noticed I was waking up every morning with a headache. This wasn't a new thing as I have had this before when I've been under stress and would typically go when the stress dimished, but as time went on in March I was still struggling and even focussing on my laptop screen was a challenge in the morning.

In March I went to see a fellow HPH for an eye test and all was normal and so I called my GP who was rather unhelpful and suggested it was because I had too much screentime. I knew that this was unlikely to be the issue as the headaches were very recentl and I was fortunate to be able to use a my health insurance for a private GP appointment who referred me to a neurologist. In June I had MRI brain scans which were all clear and was diagnosing with chronic low level migraine and prescribed Amitriptyline that acts as a preventative medication taken about an hour before bed. The challenge many people have is that it can make you very drowsy the following morning and not being a morning person already, it did make the first couple of hours of work very challenging

The headaches were slightly better, but still there and alongside this I had begin to realise after doing a little health, wellbeing and purpose audit as a result of reading Dr Alex George's book - "Live Well Every Day" (and no I've never watched an episode of Love Island!) that change was needed for me in work. I identified that my key passions and purpose revolve around health and wellbeing, nature and conservation and helping and supporting people.

I started to consider a few different options, but nothing progressed very quickly and things started to get more challenging at work when it was very clear that there were quite deep misunderstandings between myself and my boss. Running alongside the challenges at work over the summer were a number of family issues with my immediate family who all live 5 - 6 hours drive away. My Dad was suddenly diagnosed with a silent stroke and Parkinsons and over the space of a week lost mobility to walk without shuffling and use fine motor skills and then two weeks later my brother had some serious issues with his young family as well.

I take some responsibility for the challenges at work as I'm sure I could have made more proactive efforts to build a better relationship with my new boss, but when I noticed I was being excluded from meetings, I asked for a catch up and it was clear that my longer term aspirations and the company plans for me were totally different. I proposed some solutions of what I could do that were being considered, but then early September I got back from leave to discover some very major changes had happened, but that no one had told me. After a discussion with my husband Alan we concluded that I should resign from a job that I had for a long time and had provided me with significant financial and personal security without anything lined up to go to.

Over my lifetime I've had different strategies to manage my mental health including talking therapy and at one point I was on various anti-depressants for 12 years, but drawing upon past experience. I felt very strongly that how I was feeling this year was my mood responding to a situation and that if I could change the situation my mood would improve without needing to use anti-depressants. (I would like to re-emphasis that there is nothing wrong with using anti-depressants, but I personally wanted to make sure on this occasion I'd explored other solutions first)

First Tuesday was of course #runandtalk day and I was looking forward to relaunching in-person #runandtalk and whilst I was naturally feeling worried about everything that was going on, I knew that a run with friendly people would make me feel better and it really did. We ran, jogged and walked around the city centre on a warm evening chatting away and taking time to smell the roses and look at some beautiful landscape photographs outside of the town hall and I knew that whilst I was making a scary change, I had people around who were really supportive and that I'd be ok.

Rolling forward 6 weeks and I'm in a very different place. I managed to hand everything over at work which was a challenge as I had a lot of pre booked annual leave and so only had 14 working days to finish everything and my last day of employment conincided with me completing the Hadrian's Wall Path walk (91 miles in 7 days) Spending time being active in nature and beautiful surroundings with Alan was exactly what I needed and guess what - the headaches have more or less disappeared entirely! I now have something new arranged that I'm looking forward to starting and my anxiety over the years had forced me to save up a bit of a rainy day fund (one "benefit" I suppose of always catastrophising everything from being pre-disposed to anxiety!). For now I am in a very fortunate position to enjoy resting, focusing on my health, spending time with Alan (cooking him lunch every day!), trying hard to complete writing my novel that I started last year, helping my family and getting ready for a fresh start.

I've not really talked much about running in this post (and I've done a lot of it this year to help with headaches and my mood), but then much like parkrun for me #runandtalk is more about the talking than the running. It's about getting out of the house, into the fresh air and moving your body and noticing the world around you whilst being around friendly and supportive people. You don't even really need to talk, I'm sure there have been people who have come along and said very few words, but go away feeling that they've done something positive with their evening and that can sometimes be far more important than people would imagine.

#runandtalk will mean something different to everyone, but as one of the Mental Health Champions for HPH I want it to be somewhere you can come to be active and social (even if that's not talking, but just being around people). In our sessions we've talked about everything from our favourite type of biscuit to some more mental health specific topics, but no one is forced to disclose anything they aren't comfortable in doing and it's always good fun. I share my experiences not for pity or praise, but because I hope to make a difference to that person who doesn't feel like anyone else could begin to understand what they are going through, that might have lost hope and I just want to create a friendly and safe community who will be there on the first Tuesday each month to offer support. I am fortunate that I love running, I love talking, I love being outside in green spaces and I loving supporting people and so being a #runandtalk mental health champion and even a regular HPH leader helps me enjoy all of these elements and if any of this has resonated with you then please come along to the next #runandtalk session on the 2nd November we'd love to have you there. If you're interested in becoming a Mental Health Champion you don't need any specific qualifications, just ideally lived experience of mental health either personally or through supporting someone else and willingness to give it a go - get in touch if you want any more details or have any questions.

In the meantime, I sincerely hope everyone is doing ok, but if you are struggling, please reach out to someone or if you don't feel you have anyone to talk to - here are some helpful contacts:

Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).

SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).

National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7).

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.

Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (weekdays 10am-10pm, weekends 2pm-10pm and bank holidays 2pm–10pm), email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07786 209 697.

Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email chris@switchboard.lgbt or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.

Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnership website for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.

I've never felt so young waiting for my

2021-05-05T23:42:00.000+01:00

I've been asthmatic since I was around 10 years old and I used to have a blue inhaler that I wasn't very good at taking when I was a child. Both my parents have always been severely asthmatic and my brother was diagnosed before I was, so I don't fare too badly from what I could have been handed by genetics. I've always gone for check ups and until 2016 I didn't really need much medication for it unless I had a particularly heavy cold, exposure to chemical fumes or a panic attack. A few years ago I'd noticed it getting worse and so my GP put me onto Symbicort which I couldn't really tell I was taking, but my symptoms improved so we concluded that it was doing as it supposed to and I started having annual flu jabs. I'm supposed to take my symbicort twice a day and until March last year, it tended to be more likely once a day.

When Covid came into my consciousness as a respiratory disease I made sure that I was diligently taking both inhaler doses and increased my running to keep my lungs as healthy as possible, especially as back in March/April last year and up until around December, asthmatics were described as clinicallly vulnerable in terms of Covid.

I've tried to volunteer a few times for both the NHS volunteers and the St John's Ambulance vaccine volunteer scheme, but hotmail seemed to filter out my email and so I couldn't activate it (and anyway, Alan has had the app for months, but had no requests to respond to as we're living in a particularly helpful and community spirited village) and St John's declined me (I think down to my asthma). I feel quite useless when I know so many people are working so hard to battle covid.

I was always positive for a vaccine being discovered and so was cheered by the annoucements in December and imagined it wouldn't be too long until they'd be down to the 6th group of people to be vaccinated which included clinically vulnerable people like myself, but they changed the guidance and all asthmatics who hadn't been hospitalised recently and / or were on oral medication were taken off the clinically vulnerable list.

I was disappointed, but patient as I know for vaccines to work you can never be selfish and they have to be universally available to be effective. I wasn't about to get a jab and go out hugging strangers, so waiting and isolating longer wasn't any different to what I'd been expecting for the start of the year. Every relative getting their appointment and every friend on Facebook with their vaccine selfie cheered me immensely as those who needed protecting the most, whether due to an invisible and private condition, age or indeed job was getting the protection they needed to help us get back to a more normal way of life.

In March I learned I was pre-diabetic again. After having this diagnosis in 2014 I managed to make some lifestyle changes and my yearly HbA1c blood tests were all below the pre-diabetic range until this year. It's not surprising as the last 12 months have meant that despite running more than usual (around 20 - 25 miles a week), I don't move as much during an average "work" day and I've put on a little weight. I'm fighting genetics to a certain extent, but when diabetes was highlighted earlier in the pandemic as another condition that could make you more clinically vulnerable it was something else to bother my anxious brain, along with the knowledge that I was born with a heart mumur.

I realise that the above all makes me sound a bit like a hypochondriac, but there is far less to distract me from anxious mind at the moment so these things tend to run around my head in circles with my brain paying these thoughts more attention than they deserve. It also makes me sound incredibly selfish, particularly looking at the awful things happening in India at the moment, but anxiety and worry isn't a competition and just by looking at those in a worse situation doesn't make most people feel any better.

News article headlines on my news app from The Telegraph declared "all over 40s to have their first vaccine by Easter" and I didn't pay for the subscription, but I hoped they might know something the rest of the press didn't at that point. As the age groups ticked down and the numbers ticked up and news of "over 50% of adults have now been vaccinated" I had never felt so young at nearly 41 years old. I even got excited with a phishing email from the NHS about my vaccine, until I realised the email address was total rubbish and I just reported it to hotmail.

When the age got down to those aged 44 and older, or those turning 44 before July, I knew it couldn't be too long before it was my turn. Using the knowledge of when we've tried to buy Glastonbury tickets I'd stay up past midnight each night and refresh the NHS website to try and see if they'd added a new age category. Each time it came up with "you are not yet eligible to book" until Thursday evening when the landing page still said 42 and over, but it let me through to book and I was able to get a slot for Saturday in Sheffield Arena at 6.05pm. There were closer venues, but the wait was longer and I'm not doing much at the moment so it seemed like a good reason for a trip to Sheffield. I was able to book my second dose for July in York which is a bit closer to get to.

The main frustration was that Alan having just turned 39 in April was still too young to book so it was hard to be too happy and excited as I know he's really anxious about getting his.

The thought of getting a vaccine has felt quite emotional. Whilst I know it won't change anything immediately, it at least feels like a sign of hope and so on my run on Friday evening after work my mind was racing and I had to stop myself crying and having a panic attack (it happens when I cry) when I was running around the village.

I'd been discussing with Alan months back, that I'd like to dress for the occasion and his response had been "what like wearing a hat with fruit?" and ever since then it's been all I can think about! I'd researched a few options, but some were around £100 to buy on Etsy so in the end I had a fairly limited timescale to get an outfit together.

I got my wedding flowery head dress out (it did actually have some fruit on it!) a skirt that my friend had helped me make out of material inspired by Lichenstein that my neighbour had used offcuts to make masks from. I also got my snag tights with rainbow colouring and my LED light up shoes.

We set off early as the traffic to Sheffield can be bad if the A1 has any problems, Alan drove me as we guessed I could at least ask the question when I booked in if they had any spare vaccines (they didn't unfortunately and don't take 'walk ins' at Sheffield Arena). We were about 15 minutes early and so I waited in the car until I could go in.

I first had to sanitise my hands and put on a clinical mask before entering the building and then I checked in my details with my booking reference with a lovely lady who was a volunteer for the Sheffield Hospitals Charity. The staff and volunteers were all happy that I'd made an effort to look cheerful as they were all cheerful themselves, despite the majority of them telling me that they'd been on shift since around 7am that day.

I then walked into the main arena and queued up on very spaced out dots. The last time I was at the Arena I think was to see Eddie Izzard probably around 10 years ago, it looked smaller and weirdly I felt for the volunteers and staff who would have been totally lacking in daylight in the arena. A child in a buggy chatted about my shoes and after about 5 minutes of waiting I was shown into a cubicle and asked some questions by a friendly guy who pointed out it was my birthday soon and had more details checked on the system. A nurse then came in to cover a few more essential questions such as any medication I take regularly, any chance I might be pregnant etc and she was friendly and professional, but I think pleased to be coming to the end of her shift as I was told they are each vaccinating around 200 people per day.

I chose my left arm as it's always painful anyway after I broke my shoulder 3 years ago and it was over really quickly and was less painful than a flu jab. As Alan was driving I didn't have to wait for 15 mins to check I was ok and after being given a sticker and my paperwork I was able to leave at 6.22pm. It was so professional, friendly and swift, I was really impressed.

Alan drove us back home and I felt a little tiny bit lightheaded, but I often feel like that when as a passenger these days.

I'd specifcally planned nothing for Sunday and Monday in case I felt in anyway bad, but that evening I was fine. I took some paracetamol as I've been having a lot of tension headaches and sometimes it can be harder to get to sleep.

Sunday we had a lazy morning and then went to the garden centre and did 2 hours of gardening and I was fine. It was only really about 24 hours after the jab when I felt definitely very tired and fell asleep in front of the TV and again had a bit of a headache.

Monday was similar, but Alan had his own bad headache and so I spent the day binge watching TV (I Hate Suzie) and then I went for a run at 6pm and felt much better.

Tuesday I was logging back on at work and I was completely back to normal.

I know some people are worried about the vaccine, and I've had a few online discussions about vaccines in the past, but, as someone who as a child was allergic to egg and couldn't have the normal childhood vaccines and suffered very badly from mumps, chicken pox and measles I really appreciate that if you can take a vaccine, then I think it's important to do so as it helps protect those who can't and might be more vulnerable. If you think you might have specific concerns, then talk to your doctor who will know your medical records and what is right for you far better than google and people who have spent over a year with less to distract them from online social media debates.

I am looking forward to Alan getting booked in for his first jab, getting my second done in July and finally getting my ridiculously long hair cut off in celebration to donate to Little Princess Trust.

And just for good measure - thank you NHS, thank you volunteers and thank you all key workers.

January - The second half

2021-02-01T00:13:00.002+00:00

It's hard to put too much of a finger on what I've managed to do in the past two weeks.

I've been extremely busy at work and my brain has been I think on the side of being depressed. It's hard to explain, but I've found myself just as easily distracted as I usually am, but my ability to do usual tasks is as though I'm on go slow. I can still do what I need to do, but it's just taking a lot longer. Partly it's because I don't have as hard a deadline as I would do usually as there is no run club to rush to on a Tuesday and no Guides to get back for on a Thursday. I know I can log on and do more into the early hours of the morning when my brain is typically working better. I then fall into a vicious circle of being more and more tired and then slower in the mornings. We finished on budget at work which in any January is a good effort, but with all the uncertainity at the moment, is pleasing. I've pitched for a couple of roles last week and hopefully should win one of them.

I started a creative writing course "Writing Workout" with The Bowery and have done 2 sessions on Mondays so far. The first was a intro and the second was re-writing of fairy stories. I have a good set up to re-write Rapunzel which I need to get onto soon before I forget my ideas.

I completed Red January by running, walking, cycling or doing Pilates everyday and ran a total of 87.5 miles which does put me 19 miles behind my ideal challenge of running 2021 KM in 2021, I may be kind to myself and shift it to running 1021 miles to increase my target last year, but not injure myself by overdoing it. We even went for a ride outside, but I had to first change a flat tyre before we set off with lots of Alan's help and then another when we were 4 miles away before we came home because we were really cold!

I also completed a full month of The January Challenge by 64millionartists which I really enjoyed and I think having no commute at all helped me get through without the stress of having to do something everyday.

We've been back at Guides for 3 weeks now and the past two weeks we did relaxation and also some games such as two truths and a lie. We've had more brownies join us as Guides and it's hard to not see them to welcome them, but feedback we have had has been good.

The weather has been wet and cold with potential flood risks in the village, but no more snow. It's not been as nice to get out and run, but there have been a couple of days with beautiful sunshine and one was earlier this week when I saw Kirstie and Willow out for a walk when I was out for a run and I walked with them for a little while.

Alan has been busy brewing and I've been helping him with pouring sparge water. He's kegged up a "Mango milkshake IPA" and he's created a "Biscoff Stout" for me which is still fermenting in a snazzy new fermenter.

I had my EMG on my leg on Friday and it was a bit painful - like using Alan's TENS machine too much and my foot twitched and my leg kicked. The consultant seemed to suggest there wans't anything degenerative or seriously wrong, but that it might not necessarily get much better than the numbness and tingling that I have.

Audi rang me up the week before last and tried to persuade me to trade in my car early which would mean paying £3K of negative equity and an extra £200 per month to get a new car, I will wait until closer to my trade in time in June and make a decision and I might just refinance or take out a different loan and keep mine, especially as I'm hardly using it.

My Dad had his vaccine last Saturday and hopefully my Mum will get hers soon, every person I hear getting a jab gives me hope as we have such a high deathrate at the moment averaging 1000 per day. We're nearly at 8m having had their first vaccines though so around 12% of the total population and double what we had last time I updated, so I may even get one by the end of lockdown at this rate as I suspect I'll be group 6 as I typically get a flu jab and have asthma.

Thankfully Trump did leave the White House without any further violence and Biden was sworn in. The inaugration was interesting to watch as I've not watched it before and we watched some of the music tributes until late into the night.

I finished another 2 books and nearly have finished one today - The Two Lives of Lydia Bird and Wallflower at the Orgy and last night we watched The King of Staten Island

My energy levels have been really low and I was thinking it might be my lack of social contact so I signed onto the parkrun zoom yesterday and today I did a writing zoom with Northern Writers Studio from 10am - 4pm with a break for a run to try and get as far as I could in 21 minutes for my HPH challenge (4.11K today, 4.55K last week, I must plan a better route!). I managed to rewrite the first chapter of my novel and half of a second, it is slow progress, but I think I'm over a bit of a hump and will keep trying to do a little more each day if I can.

We've carried on with Hello Fresh as usual and had a couple of takeaways from Tokies and one on Friday from The Thack when it opened again for takeaway.

February is only 28 days, so let's see how it feels, at least we have at least an hour extra daylight in the evenings now.

2 weeks into 2021

2021-01-18T00:33:00.001+00:00

I wanted to try and blog at least every 2 weeks as we continue to live through an historical event as I want to remind myself of what it was really like.

The first few days were weekend and bank holiday and I had a tired hungover 1st of January, but I managed to get out for a run and kicked off my attempt at Red January and wrote all my goals for 2021.

I was really nervous about having to potentially go back into my office with the Covid cases rising so high in the UK and the first day back was the 4th and my team weren't in so I stayed at home, but by the end of the day we were back in Lockdown. Not surprising, but frustrating all the same. I like to feel safe, but what did surprise me was closing schools and the length of the lockdown being until the end of February. I've been angered by the shoddy food voucher scandal where it's odd that a government so in favour of universal credit would opt for food parcels than give people the power to manage their own finances around buying food for kids.

My first two weeks at work have felt really hard as the break over Christmas didn't really feel restful despite not doing very much - it's hard to explain. I've been feeling pretty burnt out. I don't get through the volume of work as my brain is too slow, I struggle to catch up by working later, but then I'm even more tired the next day. I'm in a bit of a vicious circle where my emails build up and up and my anxiety starts to build. Generally we're doing ok, we started the year in a good place and there are still a fair amount of new roles coming through to fill, but the challenge is candidates are especially nervous about moving.

Outside of work I'm going to think about what I've managed to achieve.

Things I've achieved so far on my 2021 goals:

Read 2 books - "Stay Home" by Ava Pierce on audible and "How Not to Write a Novel" by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman."Stay Home" was to research in the field of the novel I'm writing, it wasn't great, but helped me work out how to plot and change some of what I'm doing and make it better which is also what "How Not to Write a Novel" has done too, I just need to apply myself and write.
Recycling - replaced my very old office chair as my back was starting to ache with a beast of a gaming chair with a built in massage pad. We also bought shelves for the garage and tidied it up (mostly Alan) and then have offered some pallets to one of the Neighbours. I also took a trip to the Physio on the first Friday of January as my shoulder was really sore and I was nervous that it was freezing up again, but fortunately it was muscular and seems to have settled down this week.
I've written one letter to my friend Tana and posted her Christmas presents as clearly won't be seeing her until at least March.
I've done a craft session with my friends today and finished a present for a friend'd baby.
Our first guides back on Zoom had us doing Taskmaster challenges that was fun and we had 3 new guides join us.
I've watched one new film A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood which was nice with Tom Hanks and we've typically been watching House of Games and Man Down

We've not struggled for Food as Hello Fresh has continued to work well for us and we had loads left over from Christmas and I managed to get an Asda delivery which arrived as the big dump of snow landed on Thursday this week. The snow was really pretty and we went for a walk in it on the Thursday and on the Friday slid down to the chemist so I could grab a prescription - it took a long time. We also cleared up some ice at the bottom of our road and I decided to rebook an appointment for my EMG scan on my leg.

Alan needed some stuff for his office to be set up and so we had a contactless trip to Ikea to pick up an order which felt a bit nerve wracking even though it was for his work. No one stopped us, we didn't get within metres of anyone else and other than having to wait for around 30 mins in the car it was a nice trip out.

I renewed my car insurance and have reduced my annual mileage estimation to around half and so it dropped from over £515 to just £274 after a bit of shopping around.

Qubit managed to become a social media influencer when I shared a video of him in a Hello Fresh box that got us 35% off our next 3 boxes.

I also had a an Arvon creative writing catch up and shared a poem that I'd written inspired by the 64 Million Artists January Challenge about Green Parakeets, I might enter it into a competition. Everyone on the course is really bright and talented and it makes me feel stupid.

I'm generally sleeping ok when I get into bed, but I'm bad at going to bed earlier than around 2am which means I'm averaging 6 - 7 hours a night, I need to get back in the habit of earlier bedtimes.

I've started making kombucha again and Alan spent the day brewing again today inspired by some of the Cyberfest beers we had in December and some new equipment.

My parents seem to be doing ok, but I'm worried they are getting really bored. No news on a vaccine for them, but my brother had his on Thursday, but had some sombre insights into working in the NHS in London. As it currently stands 3.8m have had their first dose, around 5 - 6% of the UK population.

In amongst all of this is the ongoing transition of power from Trump to Biden and the insane riot and insurrection of the Capitol Building. It's really worrying and I hope that it all calms down before Biden's inaugration next week, only a few more days are left and Trump has in the past week been banned from all social media, parler is down and he's been impeached again.

Let's hope we can start to get back to seeing people again soon as I'm definitely right in the midst of pandemic fatigue.

21 things 21 times in 2021

2021-01-02T13:58:00.003+00:00

Off the back of my last post reviewing my 20 x 20 in 2020 challenge, I was itching to get started again and so I've set myself some new challenge and some are repeats of this year, not because I "failed", but because they are things that I want to keep doing more of.

It now meanst I'll be doing 441 things rather than 400 which does seem like a leap forward, but considering I mostly only focussed on this from June onwards I reckon I'll feel ok doing this.

1 - Complete 21 bike rides outside

2 - Donate to charity / recycle 21 bags/boxes/items of stuff

3 - Go to 21 yoga or pilates sessions.

4 - Write 21 letters or postcards

5 - Complete at least 21 crafting sessions - either alone or even better with friends

6 - 21 blog entries - either weekly summary or topic specific

7 - 21 sessions of mindfulness - Ideally I'd do this everyday, but I'm not great at always remembering, so this is a nice achievable target.

8 - 21 walks in lovely places

9 - Leading/backmarking/coaching at least 21 run club sessions in person or remotely

10 - Volunteer at least 21 times

11 - Meet friends for coffee/lunch/catch ups at least 21 times

12 - Read 21 books

13 - Watch 21 new films

15 - Have 21 days where I complete a social media rest - i.e. don't check Facebook etc - messages from actual humans is ok!

17 - Visit the gym / do home work outs 21 times

18 - Plant 21 "things" whether seed bombs or vegetables.

19 - Watch 21 live music/comedy/guest readings - on zoom or hopefully some in person

20 - Eat entirely veggie for 21 days

21 - Complete 21 chapters or re-edits of chapters on my novel

Other Targets

Run 2021 KM or 1256 miles in 2021 - this is 256 more that last year about an extra KM or 5 - 6 mins per day.
Ride at least 122.2 hours in 2021 (2 hours and 21 minutes every week on average) to help with the below target - covid permitting!
Complete half ironman triathlon - Sundowner
Donate my hair to Little Princess Trust in celebration of getting vaccinated (fingers crossed!)

20 Things 20 Times in 2020 - A review

2021-01-02T01:28:00.004+00:00

I'm hugely cautious about writing this because I get thoroughly sick of all the self-congratulatory posts that tend to rear their heads at this time of year and it casts my mind back to one of the memes that was circulating at the start of the pandemic

"If you don’t come out of this quarantine with either: 1.) a new skill 2.) starting what you’ve been putting off like a new business 3.) more knowledge You didn’t ever lack the time, you lacked the discipline."

Whilst that might sound like an optimistic meme, I found it incredibly judgemental and restrictive. Basically condemning huge groups of people into feeling shit about just surviving the most difficult global event of our time. Those who were homeschooling, those who were in terrible relationships and now couldn't escape an abusive partner, those who lost a job or had a loss of income, those who had never experienced any mental health issues and could be finding just getting out of bed in the morning hugely difficult and of course anyone who was directly affected by covid in terms of a hard recovery or losing people close to them.

If 2020 showed me anything it was that I am incredibly fortunate and have plenty (probably more than I ever realised) to be grateful for and also that whilst some people walked around saying "We're all in the same boat" I was acutely aware that it was an incorrect statement and that we are certainly all in the same storm, but some of us are in luxury cruise ships, some are in houseboats and some might be like Jack and Rose in the wreckage of the Titanic and holding onto a broken bit of wood.

It is also true that you can be incredibly fortunate and still have had a thoroughly awful year. All I want to say is that if you are reading this first of all - thank you, it's nice to have an audience and secondly that means you've survived an incredibly challenging year - well done! As I have said to anyone worrying about gaining weight in lockdown, if you gain weight it means that you have survived a global pandemic. Judging yourself harshly (or indeed others) isn't helpful in usual situations and now is likely to lower your ability to cope and feel positive so cutting yourself and others some slack is pretty important. My biggest achievement in reality I think has been helping to support people around me get through everything 2020 has thrown at us.

So all of that sounds like a bit preachy, but I guess I wanted to say that this is a post about what I managed to achieve in 2020 with my goals that I set for the year I turned 40 before I really knew impact a virus discovered around the other side of the world would have on my life. Importantly this challenge has helped me learn a lot about my psychology and behaviour and how to make positive changes in my life.

When I updated my blog about my challenge in June about half way through I was around 182 things through my target of 400 so the second half of 2020 I had to pick up the pace a bit!

1 - Complete 20 parkruns - So I adapted the rules on this as sadly we didn't get parkrun back yet in the UK and I achieved 10 parkruns before lockdown and then have been completing "not parkruns" and logging them on the parkrun website.

2 - Donate to charity / recycle 20 bags or boxes of stuff - This was probably one of the more challenging ones to achieve as I always find it hard to part with things and anxiety about covid has made my hoarding tendencies rear their head a little, however we did a big double tip run to sort out the garage at the end of the year and I've posted a couple of books to people and used the local facebook group to rehome a few items, but definitely one to try and do again in the new year.

3 - Go to 20 yoga or pilates sessions. - I achieved this by the end of July, thanks to my great online classes with Mayu and David at West Point Practice

4 - Write 20 letters or postcards - I got to this in the end with a few letters written on the last day of the year. I love writing and receiving letters so something I'll definitely carry forward.

5 - Complete at least 20 crafting sessions - either alone or even better with friends - I got to do a few with friends at the start of the year and then my very useful craft advent calendar from The Maker Arcade that Alan got me for Christmas helped get me over the line.

6 - 20 sessions of creative writing / blogging entries - This was one of my challenges that was made much easier as a result of the combination of lockdown and Alan studying for an MBA as I did have a bit more time sat at my computer and have completed 120 blog entries, a number of shorter flash fiction pieces and have also got 40371 words into a novel.

7 - 20 sessions of mindfulness - It took me a while to get started on this, but I got there in the end, I do want to make this more a part of my day and need to start to add it as a habit as with more and more condensed stress sat in one place and having a really busy time at work I need more time to quieten my mind.

8 - Today having a stunning walk around Fairburn Ings RSPB nature reserve I realised this is one thing that makes me really happy and so I want to do at least 20 walks or runs around beautiful nature locations. - I hit this as a result mostly of it being the only way to see friends in person and had a few lovely walks around some new and familiar places.

9 - Leading or backmarking at least 20 run club sessions - Sadly not many of these were in person, I hope to be able to get back to this again soon, but I have shifted the "rules" to make them constructive and counted the coached sessions I developed for the club in lockdown and also the #daylightsavingminds sessions as well.

10 - Volunteer at least 20 times - It would have been good to have mixed this up a bit, but I did successfully manage to do all but 1 guide meeting online since lockdown and I think that the guides got a lot from it (I know that I did)

11 - Meet friends for coffee/lunch/catch ups at least 20 times - Hit this again having to finish off the year doing most of it on zoom, but keeping in touch with people was important.

12 - Read 20 books - At the halfway point I was struggling with this, for years (pretty much since graduating from University where I studied English) I've really struggled with reading for leisure. I don't know if is attention span from too much smart phone usage, tiredness from long days at work or what, but looking back at the book where I've recorded everything I've read since 1994 was sparse at best for the past few years. This year however I read a total of 20 books (I finished the last one today, but I don't care as on the 1st January 2020 I was so hungover I don't count that as the start of the year!). Here's my full list and my favourites were definitely "The Midnight Library", "Girl Woman Other" and "Where the Crawdads Sing". 9 were audio books that I listened to via audible when out running or doing chores 10 were "real" books and one was an ebook. Given that most of these were from June onwards I'm hoping I can keep up this reading pace as I'm really enjoying it.

I am not your baby mother - Candice Brathwaite (audible)
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a FCK - Mark Manson (audible)
Uncommon Types - Tom Hanks
What Alice Forgot - Lianne Moriarty (audible)
Where the Crawdads Sing - Delia Owens
How to Stop Time - Matt Haig (audible)
It's Not the End of the World - Judy Blume
I Heart Vegas - Lindsey Kelk (audible)
Little Fires Everywhere - Celeste Ng
The Midnight Library Matt Haig
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami (audible)
Fabulous - Lucy Hughes Hallett
I Heart London - Lindsey Kelk (audible)
Addlands - Tom Bullough
Girl, Woman, Other - Bernadine Evaristo
Tom Tit & the Maniacs - Mark Connors
The Wife - Meg Wolitzer (audible)
Phone Detox - School of Life
Notes on a Nervous Planet - Matt Haig (ebook)
I Heart Christmas - Lindsey Kelk (audible)

13 - Watch 20 new films - I wasn't as structured as recording all the new films that I watched so in the past week I've had to smash through a good few Christmas Films, again I hope in 2021 we can get back to cinema film trips hopefully. I think my favourites were "It's a Wonderful Life" and "1917".

1917
Starter for 10
Hunger Games
The Voices
Hidden Figures
Arrival
Catfish
The Departed
Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal
Athlete A
Freaks
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
The Kindness of Strangers
Above Suspicion
It's a Wonderful Life
Scrooged
Bad Santa
Little Shop of Horrors
Secret Garden

14 - Spend 20 hours learning something new - I managed to achieve this across a number of short Arvon courses that were 2 hours long, joining a writers group that my friend Lauren is a member of in real life in London who are all now meeting remotely and I did a full Arvon week course and also a day at The Bowery in Leeds which was supposed to be in March, but happened in September eventually with us all wearing facemasks and reading out our writing to each other. The author Mark Connors I thought was really down to earth and made writing very accessible and I bought and enjoyed his book written in the voice of a 10 year old at the time of the Yorkshire Ripper.

15 - Get at least 8 hours sleep 20 times (this is a challenge as my regular 11daytime sleep is only 6.5 hours) - I managed to achieve this only as a result of lockdown and working from home. My Lifecycle app told me that in 2020 my average night of sleep was 7 hours and 27 minutes which is up from 2019 which was 6 hours 53. The issue I've created for myself is that my body clock has shifted later and later, so I definitely need to readjust this to make mornings less challenging - I could maybe even try and get out for a run first thing!

16 - Visit 20 new places (not countries, just different places that I've not been before, whether a restaurant, or a nice place to walk) - luckily I got to go to Riga in Latvia and Barbados before lockdown (even if that trip was abruptly curtailed) it meant that many of my new places were much closer to home, but it just added a different edge to my challenge. Here is my list of places - my favourite was probably Keld in October when we got to use our wedding present glamping voucher. I also loved Hannah Park which is where Alan had sponsored a plot of woodland for my anniversary present.

Tavassoli's Cafe & Grill
Press Play
The Foundary
Riga - Pullman Hotel
Riga - bobsleigh
Riga - KGB Museum
The Quarry - tapas
Savannah Beach
Huntes Garden
Harrisons Cave
Barbados nature reserve
Crystal Cove
Walton Colliery
White Coppice
Skipwith Common
Runswick Bay
Hannah Park
Keld
Top Withins
Pompocali

17 - Visit the gym at least 20 times (pretty sure I didn't manage this in 2019) - Online Zumba, Occulus Quest and Ring Fit sessions got me there eventually, but I need to be more disciplined this year as just running is going to get me injured at some point!

18 - Plant 20 "things" whether seed bombs or vegetables. - I got there in the end with a few different strategies and Hayley & Flower donated some pallet collars and so I now have raised beds and grew my own carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, artichokes, herbs, raspberries, strawberries and planted a lot of flowers.

19 - Watch at least 20 live music acts (should be achievable as we are least going to Blue Dot festival again and hopefully might still get tickets to Glastonbury in the resales - fingers crossed!) - I tried, I booked and then had cancelled some socially distanced drive through Gigs to see Dizzie Rascal and the Lighting Seeds - hopefully it will happen this year. My end total was zero.

20 - Get to work without driving at least 20 times (I'll cheat if needed and include working from home!) - Lockdown made this impossible *not* to achieve. I miss elements of commuting, but I definitely don't miss the traffic jams I would regularly get stuck in.

Additional challenges completed:

Run 1000 miles in 2020 - I was behind on this when we went into lockdown in March, but I soon caught up as it was the main legitimate way to leave the house, I hope my main running buddy gets to join me again at some point and also that I get to do more parkruns, races and team runs again!
Go 1 whole year not buying any "new" clothes (underwear etc was ok) - not leaving the house obviously helped with this, but in 2020 I bought a new sports bra, a new swimming costume (pre lockdown!), 3 pairs of tights, a second hand coat and a second hand top and one new pair of trainers.

So importantly what have I learned from these challenges? I'm really proud of what I've achieved and whilst it's not a qualification or something you can necessarily put on a CV, it helped me maintain momentum in pursuing projects that in isolate might seem too big to start or make a dent in. Things I've learned about my psychology.

Don't be Negative - Prior to this challenge, my resolutions would look like this picture below. Very much about restricting something or not doing something, negative in focus. Whilst there's not essentially anything wrong with some of them like "not be late for anything" the minute I was late it would make me give up on pursuing that goal and make me feel like a failure. A lot of them are also not measurable and vague and give no clear start or end point, so inevitably I wouldn't start at all.

If I want to reduce some negative behaviours, make less space for them by adding in positive things that reduce the space for negatives to inhabit - By tasking myself to read 20 books, catch up with friends 20 times or do craft - it meant that was a lot of time that I couldn't spend "doom scrolling" on social media or other things that are less productive. It also made me plan in good things to do and look forward to rather than dread not being able to do something or having to try and persuade myself to do something "less".

Flexibility is key! - In the running community there is something that people enjoy called "Run Streaking" where you run at least 1 mile every day for as long as you want to maintain a streak. Part of this appeals to me, but I know that my anxious and addictive personality could fast make this something that would make me fall out of love with running, as it would potentially become a chore rather than something that I looked forward to. Sometimes I don't want to or can't leave the house on a particular day, I know I need to be careful to configure my goals so that I can be flexible to life in general. Instead of targeting myself to run every day or *do* something every day, week or month I've set goals that you can adjust and focus on as life allows. My 1000 mile target was good as I could do something different each week and keep me interested. I could catch up if I fell behind or get ahead if I wanted to. I couldn't "fail" if I had one day when I didn't fancy going out for a run. Equally I could have been strict and said that I had to "read" actual paper books for my 20 books count, but again by using audio books I'm still expanding my reading and being flexible with how I fit it into busy days.

Make the goals relevant to your passions - I deliberately chose things I'm interested in and I knew would benefit me in some way. I know that if I'm not interested in something it's likely to get bumped down the list of things I have to do (there are several things on my to do list that I've had up as post it notes on my wall for over 6 months!) Don't choose someone else's list as you won't be engaged or interested in completing your challenges!

Small is beautiful - "How do you eat an elephant? One mouthful at a time." if you want to achieve something bigger, work out a couple of smaller steps that get you closer there. I've always wanted to write a novel, I'm not there yet, but if I'd set myself a goal of "write a novel" in 2020 there is a very good chance I'd have done nothing. Instead by getting myself into writing blog posts, flash fiction, short pieces etc I've now managed to get about 40% through a novel.

So it's a new year, I don't necessarily need to set any goals, but I think I'll genuinely miss my challenges so I'm going to set myself some tomorrow, because after all 1st January is a completely arbitrary number. You can choose to challenge yourself or make changes at any point in the year and it's probably better to not do it when your sleep deprived, hungover and cold!

2020 was mostly out of our control, 2021 will hopefully be better and so I'm going to focus on controlling what I can and celebrating the small things that have helped to keep my mental health on an even keel this year.

And if I get to the end of 2021 achieving nothing on my list...guess what I'll have achieved another year surviving a global pandemic and that's something that I'll be immensely proud of.

Blue Peter in the 80s and Marcus Rashford in the 20s

2020-11-02T23:11:00.003+00:00

Never underestimate the power of Kids TV, as I attribute an awful lot of how I see the world today from being very bought into watching Blue Peter as often as I was able to.

I remember watching in utter disbelief as a child about the crisis in Kampuchea in 1988, I've had to rewatch a bit of it on YouTube to remember the details of the appeal as all that had stuck with me was that many people had died at the hands of Pol Pot's cruel dictatorship and that the images of starving children had really upset me. The amazing thing about Blue Peter back then (and from what I've seen from clips is still the case today) is that it communicated with children on a "grown up" level, explained the issues and importantly gave some empowerment that things could be changed for the better and showed them how they could help. It was the 1988 Bring and Buy Sale Blue Peter Appeal.

In 1988 I was 8 and went to a small C of E Primary School in Kingston Upon Thames in cold Victorian buildings with separate outdoor toilet blocks that on at least one occasion froze in the winter. The intake of children was quite mixed in pretty much every sense and reflecting back on the small school with only 6 classes to cover 7 years; I'm impressed at how the teachers managed to educate a wide range of abilities from the very precocious and bookish kids bumped up one or even two year groups to those struggling to keep on track with multiple challenges in their home lives.

For a large portion of my life (probably until my early 30s) I struggled to make friends easily, but for at least 4 - 5 years at that school I had a firm group of friends (Sarah, Karen, James and Matthew). We all watched Blue Peter and would talk about it the next day at school. We were all affected by the news of the appeal and decided that we could do something about it and asked our teachers if we could do a cake sale to raise some money.

I remember bits of the organising and the sale itself (the school secretary Mrs Browning in complete delight eating a rock cake) and from memory I think we raised around £40 which back then was more money than I think any of us could imagine having need to spend. Later at secondary school we'd nominate a charity every term as a form and would raise money each term and again would always passionately have a sense of wanting to help others. As lacking in self awareness I was as a child, I'm sure it wasn't just me who felt that way.

Blue Peter, along with other programmes such as Really Wild Show also started off my interest in nature, ecology and looking after the planet. I even won a prize for a poem that I'd written about global warming when I was 11. I had wonderful Grandparents on both sides who were also interested in nature and would take me on walks, tell me about birds and help me gain an interest in gardening. My parents would also accommodate my geekiness when it came to birds and took me to various nature reserves and YOC events. I won a pencil for knowing some bizarre fact about how much the average mute swan weighs.

I guess all these things helped me form my opinions as I grew up in the world. As a child I was extremely fortunate, my parents always made sure that I was never hungry (well other than for my Nana's pickled onions or penny sweets and pic n mix!), I always had clothes that fitted me, I wasn't cold. We lived for my first 14 years in an slightly extended Victorian two up two down end terrace house with a garden in Kingston. To give an indiciation of how things have changed, I recently looked up on Zoopla and it's now estimated to be worth an eye watering c£750K whe it was sold by my parents for less than £100K in the mid 90s. I was able to get a good education all the way up to studying English at the University of Leeds as well as attending a very good non fee paying state grammar school. I check my privilege very regularly and recognise that the very comfortable and fulfilling life I have now is very much down to the good start that I was given in my childhood by my family and teachers.

I am old enough to remember drinking a tiny bottle of full fat milk with a straw poked through the silver foil lid, although I also remember the disappointment when they were taken away. I'm almost 100% sure I'd have never received a free school meal as a child, although I do have a vague recollection that we had some "family allowance" that we'd collect from the post office (I think this is going back over 30 years of memory now!)

I also remember when I went to secondary school the feeling of shame when I realised that in the state selected grammar school, in comparision to my previous primary schools I was at a from a much lower income point compared to many of my classmates. I never wanted for anything as a child (except never getting the Al La Carte Kitchen I was desperate for!), but I was now head to head with girls (all girls school) who had very large houses with very well to do parents with better cars, holidays, clothes etc. In general it was never an issue and the school was great at making us all feel empowered young women who could "achieve anything we chose should we choose to work hard enough", but I was bullied at times for living in a smaller house. I remember when my parents were selling our house when I was 14 some of my "friends" found the listing in the paper and crossed out and added words such as "poky" and "rubbish" before putting it in front of me at registration to see how I'd react. This isn't about trying to gain sympathy for the my previous self, but more a very tangible realisation that kids can be cruel and shame of income status is very hard for kids to overcome. I don't think I'd have been strong enough to ask for help as a child if I was ever in a desperate situation and so I fear that the problem of kids living in poverty is probably far greater than we'll ever really know.

Rolling forward to the present day and I have seen so much debate and argument about the Free School Meals issue and I so firmly believe that whilst I absolutely expect and hope for every child to have parents who feed them, clothe them and bring them up to thrive. I also know that not all of these children (or parents) have been afforded the privileges in life that I have and so sadly may be struggling.

School Uniform is encouraged to allow children to concentrate on learning and provide an even playing field for everyone attending school. I appreciate it's not a perfect system, but it allows for a minimisation in shame and stigma of different incomes in the same year groups. Why not have the same elimination of shame and stigma for free school meals? I get that it might not be appropriate and indeed necessarly for many or indeed all children and in an ideal world most kids wouldn't need this, but it's 2020 and we are in the midst of a global pandemic.

We can demonise parents because either they read it in the newspaper or some friend of friend knows some parents with 5 kids who have a crack habit and a 50" telly, who gets fillers in their lips, their nails done weekly, fake tan, nice car, Sky TV, smokes etc etc and yet doesn't feed their kids properly. I ask you, do you *actually* know this to be true? Have you met this person, have you seen their bank statement? Or is it just a convenient way to blame someone else because you've heard about it in the media? And if any of those things *are* true, there is likely a (forgiveable) reason for them to be in that situation. Typically people wouldn't choose this, but may have had a poor upbringing themselves, poor mental health, an abusive relationship there are so many reasons.

Many people have massively struggled through difficult situations for years and still managed to "feed their kids", but I don't believe it's appropriate to see struggle as necessary a "rite of passage". In the last 40 years we've made so many technological advances that it's easier than ever to access food, you can literally not move more than your hand and a smart phone and have food to your front door in a couple of hours, less if it's a takeaway. I agree children deserve good parents, but those who haven't been blessed with them don't deserve to starve when we have so much more capability at our fingertips to solve poverty.

I have read from an international food poverty charity website that there are 7 billion people in the world and we have enough food to feed 10 billion people so it's the most solvable problem in the world if we can just work together as humans.

Commenting about how "cheap" healthy food can be is incredibly patronising, we should focus on how to make healthy food accessible beyond price. People on lower incomes are likely to be time poor as much as the are financially poor and may not have the resources to prepare a vegetable soup from scratch after a long shift at work. Education on cooking and nutriton would be a good help, but like any problem it's about doing lots of different things regularly to eventually solve it, but right now families face the hardest few months as we go into winter with Covid restrictions and a recession. At least free school meals help those hardest hit survive and those not hard hit live a little more comfortably.

If you have managed to get through this pandemic without losing a job, losing a family member or indeed losing control of your mental health you're doing well. I know personally some people who have been unable to work since lockdown and because they maybe are self employed, but also had worked on zero hour PAYE contracts haven't been able to access any financial support. I also know that not one friend has asked me to help them out with food etc (and I'd like to think I am approachable if anyone does need anything) I think that it is because as a society we are often too ashamed to ask for help and actually I know that to truly help some people you need to just do something without being asked.

I see people copying and pasting messages on Facebook with lovely sentiments about "just privately message me if you need anything" but the reality is that they either haven't asked the direct question in private to those they are worried about, or indeed those who really do need help are far too proud to ever ask. I don't like demonising this type of "social media awareness" as awareness and normalisation of things this way can be useful, but slactivism is one of my frustrations with the world. The feeling that you're doing "something" by sharing a post so you don't need to donate money/time/care to the actual cause.

I don't claim to be perfect, I'm sure I could be accused of woke virtue signalling if I share a donation link, or talk about things that I'm doing to help, but I do it in part selfishly because I enjoy helping and feeling like I am making a difference. I also try and help because I'm grateful that I'm in a position to be helping and not needing help. Is sharing and retweeting the Marcus Rashford campaign posts slactivism - I'm not sure as I think at least normalising the fact that people need help 7 months into a global pandemic is going to help proud parents make their lives easier to be able to feed their children. I have really liked the interactive map produced where people can access free school meals during half term from hospitality venues, charities and local authorities - this is definitely social media for good and will have a knock on (secondary) positive effect of publicity for those establishments. It's just disappointing that they are having to step in.

"But what about Universal Credit" this one has me feeling a bit torn. I like the idea of people having financial literacy and independence to be able to manage their finances and rather than the old system it seems like this should help them, however I know a few anecdotal stories of where it falls down for both the claimant when delays push them further into financial difficulties, but also for us all as housing associations estimated that it would cost an additional £10 per tenant per year to collect the arrears generated by this new "method". Watching I, Daniel Blake will give you some insights of the complexities and flaws in this system if it is something you are not familiar with.

I have close friends who when they grew up had parents having to rely on food parcels because of miners strikes (an alien concept to me as a child growing up in Greater London, it was just something that I watched on Newsround, it didn't seem *real*), friends who had to use free school meals which just about kept them topped up during difficult times. All who I know of these friends are now very successful and contribute to society, I'm sure there may be more who I meet in adult life that may not be comfortable talking about what they might have gone through. None of them seem to desire for anyone to have to "suffer" because they had to.

Some (mostly baby boom) generation seem to think that kids need to pipe down as they've never had it so "easy". I would counter that "easy" is relative and not necessarily the reality for all kids certainly. Kids now have never know a world without technology, WIFI, Smartphones and Social Media and have far more access and instant gratification. I was bullied at school, but I could come home and go to my room and read a book and be safe, Kids don't have the luxury now. I felt fat and ugly as a young child and teenager and I was comparing myself against at most probably 150 girls my age; Instagram magnifies this to millions of constant comparisions, filtered images, I bet no girl finds it easy to feel confident in her own skin until she's much older - it took me to be in my 30s! And now there is Covid, yes I'm sure rationing, war babies etc had it hard, but those that remember are few these days as to be around 10 years old when war ended you'd be in your mid 80s now and I think most of the "complainents" of the "kids have it easy" theory are in their 60s and 70s mostly. Many have been retired on decent pensions since their 50s and may even live long enough to have fewer years of work than they do of non work through pension. I'm not sure anyone of my generation or younger will have the luxury.

I've got lots more to say, but this is now at least a week in the making and it's now becoming out of context, so I'll leave on one consideration.

Children don't choose to be born, if you consider yourself in anyway pro life/pro children or just not an awful human being, make sure you support initiatives to feed children, they don't get to choose their parents, but we can choose to look after them.

Not so Isolation Journal 132

2020-10-19T22:53:00.001+01:00

Annoyingly I woke up at 6.30am and my alarm was set for 7.10am and so I didn't fall back to sleep again and we'd been up until around 1am looking at our childhood vaccination records online.

I went into the office again today for the morning, Alan is still uncomfortable with me going into the office with Covid cases rising, I find I'm constantly torn because I do feel that the office is very much as Covid safe as it could be and I feel less cluttered and more focussed when I'm around colleagues, but I totally get that it feels very unsettling in terms of the fact Leeds it currently Tier 2.

I had a meeting with colleagues, did a handover and caught up with people and then headed back home shortly after 12.20pm and it took me around 30 mins to get back. I wanted to be back to see how Alan had got on at the nurse appointment, but it wasn't hugely productive. She just looked in his ear. I had some carrot and coriander soup and a pannini for lunch and logged back on . We did a BD session and I managed to clear around 250 emails, but had 400 to get through and I've got a load more stuff to get through, it's relentlessly busy again. I also had a last minute client meeting with 3 clients at a company which was pretty useful.

I booked the first week in November off as leave and signed up and paid for an Arvon Course which I'm really looking forward to. I have also ordered a book by each of the tutors Wild by Jay Griffiths and Addlands by Tom Bullough They are both more nature and landscape, which isn't directly relevant to my novel, but is something that I'm really interested in.

I ran a candidate search until around 8pm and Alan made dinner which was pulled chicken burgers and I then had 2 ice lollies.

We watched Taskmaster and tried to go to bed a bit earlier.