However, in recent months - this phrase has made ALOT of sense to me. Now, “I’m” the one running around saying it all the time!

Think of this for a minute…

Think about ANYTHING good that has happened to you - anything life changing. Think about a person you’ve met that has had an impact on you, etc…

I’d be willing to bet that 99% of the time, you can trace this “good thing” back to something that wasn’t so great. You may even trace it back to something that you once considered “horrible” or “one of the worst days of your life.”

How? SOMETHING happened that day that led to a series of events (butterfly effect) that eventually allowed the “good thing” to happen.

It’s hard to explain, but really think about it and I bet you’ll fall in line.

This leads me to another saying…

“Look for the silver lining…”

ANYTHING bad that happens, has something good hidden in it. YES - EVERYTHING.  No matter “how” bad it is, there is always an opportunity to grow, learn and expand from it.

You may not see it at the time (that’s normal), but you will in the future.

The more and more you believe this, the easier it’ll get for you to spot the silver lining.

Basically…

The next time something “bad” happens to you. Do things immediately…

1. Remind yourself quickly and frequently that “everything happens for a reason…” - A greater reason…For the greater good - something that is yet to come…

2. Look for the Silver Lining - What can you learn? Is there an opportunity here somewhere for you to grow as a person?

The minute you turn the negative into a positive…you will see a profound difference in your ability to address obstacles.

** This may very well be the biggest secret of a fighter…now…it’s in the open!

Some Background…

I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately. We’re getting ready to fully launch our non-profit. The main business has seen tremendous growth and is getting ready to possibly enter a new era (undiscovered territory!)…

All in all…LOTS of new things which also means LOTS of work/tension/stress/challenges.

Lucky for me I have an iron strong team behind me to lean on.

Actually my team is so strong that in the last few months I felt the relationship had turned quite a bit. I remember the day not so long ago that I can honestly say I felt I was the “central” pillar to the company.

I could see that I held things up and that when something went wrong…the team came to me.

However, in the last few months, I saw that change - I almost feel that it went backwards (which is awesome). Now, the TEAM is the pillar and “I” go to THEM.

There are all these checks and balances and many of them protect me from the day to day so I can be allowed to strategize, grow and dream (hey, someone has to do it right?)

What’s Going On In My Head Lately…

Other than getting a bit tired from travel and all that, I’ve been in “lurning” mode lately.

I’ve been spending a LOT of time inside my head. Given that I’m naturally a “to myself” kind of guy, being left alone to spend hours inside my own head is almost a treat for me!

I’ve been strategizing and planning - kind of like an artist in a closed dark studio in his basement.

I’m now not only dealing with an entire new set of challenges in the main company, but an equally large amount of new challenges for the non-profit we’re launching.

So, all in all…I’ve had my hands full…

Now…The Downside of Being In My Head…

When I’m in my head…that’s where I am, period. I tend to not really want to socialize or even be around people. I get in the “zone” and if you met me for the first time, you’d swear I was a rude S.O.B.

You have to understand, there is heavy duty lifting going on in there - I’m knee deep in anything from excel sheets in my mind to rolling through my rolodex to practicing “pitches” - it takes focus and full attention

Now, here is where ‘being in my head’ can be a problem…

…For those who don’t understand the type of person who likes being in their head, they’re fast to assume you’re being rude or that you’re upset.

On a common day, this may not be much of a problem for many.

But, if you’re a “leader” - welcome to a plethora of problems

Today, I got my first reminder that my team still indeed is very tuned into me. They’re watching. They’re observing. I’m not exactly off the hook yet

Yesterday I was on my way to our Mumbai office, after having been in Mumbai now for 3 days, I’ve barely been in the office. It seems I caught some bug in Dubai and have been “down for the count” the last few days.

But, I forced myself to go in yesterday because I was feeling a bit better.

Well, 10 minutes into the drive, BAM I got sick. No idea what happened, but it got bad.

So, it seems I just walked into the office, kind of said a general “hi” to the office and went straight into the cabin and didn’t come out to socialize with anyone.

Again, I’m “in my own head” mode right now PLUS I’m not feeling well. As far as I could see, I didn’t do anything that wrong. I mean, in the end, who really cares that I’m there, right?

I doubt the team really wants to talk to me…most of them don’t have any day to day work with me. So, really for them…it’s just business like any other day, whether I talk to them or not?

(Back to the story)

I lasted about 2 hours (max) and decided it was time to go back to the hotel and sleep. Well, I packed my stuff and shot STRAIGHT for the door - apparently along the way ducking my entire team and avoiding all conversation.

I won’t lie - I really didn’t want to talk at that time. I just wanted out.

Well…Leaders Have To Think About Others, Not Just Themselves

Big lesson learned.

I learned TODAY that my behavior had a ripple effect across the team. Some were upset or concerned or confused. Certainly they were impacted enough to take the time to discuss it.

“Wow…so I guess they DID want to talk to me?”

In the end, I learned that even though it may be OK to “me” that I spend this time in my head for a few months. It’s not all about me.

If I want to continue to build myself as a leader, I’m going to have to let go of this selfish side of me. My team here works hard for my vision, everyday they come to work ultimately trusting ME.

If I can’t even have the decency to smile and say hello and ask them how their day is, what kind of a leader am I?

So…I get it and now I hope you do too.

If you want to be a leader - be a leader. It’s not easy. Don’t whine about it. You’re sick? You’re stressed? You’re having a bad day?  Suck it up.

Because your every facial expression, your every word (or lack thereof) has an impact on those around you.

So thank you to my team here and to those of you who pointed out my behavior. It may seem small to you, but it was a big lesson learned for me!

Big enough that I was inspired to take 30 minutes to write this.

(For now, back to my nap so I can gather energy and go back to my team smiling and cheerful!)

I’m a big fan of I Will Fight and extremely proud to see that our ‘Lead Fighter’ Anik has stepped up and made his health a priority. In a recent post “Start Working Out - Make It Hurt!“ Fighter mentions, “Working out is not just to lose weight - there are a lot of other benefits.” I couldn’t agree more. In fact I promote the mindset that weight loss should not be the main focus of working out.

I say, change your focus and put the emphasis on the other crucial benefits such as increased productivity, increased energy, increased focus, and improved quality of life. It’s a lot easier for me to jump up and do a workout when I know that it will improve my business and give me more time to spend with my family. These are things that excite me. Losing weight does not necessarily excite me.

When the focus is on weight loss it can easily be associated with pain and something that you dread to do. That makes it easier to brush it off and focus on other projects that will make you more money. But when you realize that your home office fitness break will help you make more money it will become something that you can’t afford to miss.

Massive work overload, frequent traveling, and lack of time are nothing but excuses to avoid living a healthy and active lifestyle. It’s time for you to realize that these are the crucial times when incorporating fitness into your day will actually help you perform better, complete your projects faster, and handle your travel schedule with ease.

Time after time research reveals that including fitness in your workday will consistently and significantly improve your quality of work, mental performance, focus, and time management. Another positive spin off of living the healthy lifestyle and incorporating fitness into your workday is that networking opportunities will thrive! With our online businesses, any one networking connection can lead to a significant increase in revenue. This makes fitness an incredible asset to your business.

I hope that you are beginning to see that the health-wealth connection is stronger than you’ve ever imagined. So any reason that you give me about why you are putting off your health and fitness is nothing more than an excuse. It’s time to make your health the #1 priority in your life. It will have a positive impact on everything that you do.

You ROCK! Enjoy the experience,

Scott Tousignant

Scott Tousignant, BHK is the creator of Fat Loss Quickie - the fast, fun home office fitness program designed specifically for work-at-home-moms and dad’s, helping you become super-focused and highly productive. Now it doesn’t matter how busy you are, you never have to neglect your body and health again.

1) I tracked what I was doing and found out that I wasn’t using my time efficiently! I needed help and so I just recently hired a great assistant who has helped me get back on track the last 2 weeks…

2) Management Hire - One of the jobs taking the most time for me (but not efficient) was reviewing courses and helping advise on their development. Now we have an excellent person filling those shoes. I get to review the courses when the are done!

3) TECHNOLOGY LEAD! Yes, one of the biggest stresses I’ve had in my life the last 5 years - we finally have a person who can fill these shoes and more!

So, the last month, I’ve been focusing MUCH more on SYSTEMIZING my life as much as possible (especially before I start traveling).

So much so, that I recently came down with a bad “sinus” sickness thing and yet, everything is running smoothly. My team took care of the LIVE event I was supposed to be at. Development of our courses is on-going…everything in my life is moving forward!

Anyways, back to the point…

40/30/30 - Healthy Living!

About a month or more ago, I declared that I was getting serious about my health, starting to work out and all that jazz - yes?

Well, I’ve been “pretty” good about it. The sinus sickness for the last week really threw me out of the gym, but other than that, I was point-on schedule.

The one area I was not doing well was EATING - I wasn’t following a strict healthy nutrition plan.

Notice that I didn’t call it a “diet” - that’s not what it is. Diets are “fads” that you do and then leave eventually (only to gain all that weight again). Also, through diets, you lose weight in a UNhealthy way - you’re hurting your body.

But healthy nutrition, you lose weight slowly and the RIGHT way.

Here are the basics of what I’m doing…

1. I am using FitDay.com to track and journal my diet.

2. I am making sure that at the end of the day, I have had 40% Protein, 30% Fat and 30% Carbohyderates.

3. I am limiting myself to 1,800 - 1,900 calories a day. Given my weight, height and level of activity, this should allow me to lose weight in a HEALTHY weigh.

4. I’m targeting to lose 2 pounds a WEEK - nothing more.

Stop gloating about how you lost 10 pounds in 4 days, that’s not a GOOD thing. It sounds impressive, but you just hurt your body.

5. I should hit the weight I want in about 2-3 months.

I say up to 3 because I start traveling soon - eating healthy while traveling will be HARD, but I’m gonna do it and I’ll keep you posted.

So, what’s 40/30/30?

It’s 40% Protein, 30% Fat and 30% Carbohyderates in your daily diet.

I find myself mostly eating Chicken, a BIT of bread (breakfast and lunch), vegetables, sweet potato, etc…

I’ve also forced myself to learn to cook and it’s been a blast. Not only is it fun, but the food tastes GOOD!

So, there you go - go eat right. PUT THAT McDONALDS DOWN!

BTW, I forgot to mention - when you eat healthy, Sunday is your “sanity” day - you can eat whatever the hell you want that day and STILL lose your 2lb a week. Pretty cool, right?

Working out is not just to lose weight - there are a lot of other benefits!

=> I had incredible energy
=> I felt great
=> I was getting exercise
=> I ate a lot more!

For the last year or so, I stopped working out for many reasons. I’m not going giving excuses, yes, I did get lazy too. But, mostly…

=> I started traveling a LOT…
=> Business became very demanding
=> Most of all…I got LAZY

But, now that’s over. I’m publicly declaring it’s time for a change. I’m building accountability not only to the world, but to a great friend Jimmy.

BTW, my friend Jimmy lost over 100 pounds in the last year - amazingly impressive. But the dude literally walks around with a food weighing scale. I’m not saying I’m ready to go that far, but we had an amazing work out last night.

So…you ready to see Buff Fighter? Well get ready.

And…lesson for today - join me. Even if you just go for a walk or something. Get up. Move. You need the physical exercise to live a more fulfilling life.

However, this year…things changed.

Not sure if I was just lazy, emotionally exhausted, tired of planning all the time at work…but I REFUSED to plan anything. My friends asked over and over what I was planning and I had no idea until 4PM on Friday.

My plan?

I decided on the CITY to go to and told everyone to just meet there after 10 PM. “We’ll figure out where to go once we get there…let’s WING IT!”

What Happened?

Actually, Friday night was not that great. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends, but nothing “eventful” happened. Most of the time when I “wing it” - I’ve had an amazing time.

Either way, I didn’t give up on the idea…

Saturday night - I wung it again. This time, instead of having my usual 40+ people for my birthday, I had 4.

The Result?

I think I had the best time of my life!  It was awesome. We had no idea where we were going till 9PM that night. We never even ended up at the original bar we intended to.

The night ended with me up-rooting many bushes from the ground, placing them on a friend’s car (honest mistake) and much more!

Why Am I Telling You This?

Because you need to do it. It’s refreshing.

You spend all your life “planning” things. Do this. One night, one day, one weekend - any time…just leave the house with absolutely NO PLAN.

See where you end up.

It will revive you like nothing else. Do it, I dare you.

]]> http://www.iwillfight.com/frustration/burnout/just-wing-it-stop-the-planning/feed/ http://www.iwillfight.com/frustration/burnout/just-wing-it-stop-the-planning/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Iwillfight/~3/qBJUPliBtIM/ http://www.iwillfight.com/random/a-guy-smacked-another-guy-in-the-face/#comments Mon, 25 May 2009 19:19:21 +0000 Fighter http://www.iwillfight.com/?p=129 This must have been the funniest thing I’ve seen this year - I’m not kidding.

I was at the airport yesterday waiting for a friend to arrive from India. It was like being at a zoo. There must have been 15 international flights coming in. What made this entertaining was that there was a big mix of cultures.

With the mixture came many *interesting* “meeting rituals.” I saw everything, songs being sung, balloons, signs, screaming, stomping, yelling, shouting, crying, hugging - you name it…

But, nothing took the prize like this one…

A Guy and a Girl Emerge…

Probably mid 20s…European. They come around the corner form Customs with their 1,345 pound bags and BAM - their “peeps” saw them and started shouting bloody mary.

The minute the guy and girl were in reach, the “welcoming” friends BURST out of their line and ran towards them.

What am I expecting?

A jump into their arms…a hug…maybe even the “European” double cheek kisses…but oh no…

The welcoming guy (probably mid 20s as well) runs up to the visiting guy - winds back and *SMACK* - he slaps him fair and square right across the face.

The smackEE simply laughs, hugs and they start jumping up and down spinning in circles.

If A Guy Ever Slaps ME…

…he’s getting punched in the face

EVERYONE that was there waiting burst out laughing. Listen, when I say SLAP - I mean SLAP. He made a jealous 17 year old teenage girl look like chop sticks.

This just goes to show…we all have our own rituals with our friends.

This one…well, I will remember it for a long time. I had not laughed so hard in months.

Before I could ask “what happened,” he was already half way through the story. Here’s the basics…

1. He had lost his job a few months back.
2. He just screwed up big time at his new job.
3. He’s been very ill the the last 3 weeks…
4. The girl he was chasing cut the leash
5. His parents are sitting on his neck…
6. He got a really horrible score on his recent GMAT

All that and you know what finally made him snap?

“I think you should eat some rice…”

Yes, his mother told him to eat rice and the dude snapped. He went bazerk. Obviously, the question: Why?

It’s like the old saying: “The straw that broke the camel’s back…”

His mom telling him to eat rice was the straw. If you look at it from the 40,000 foot overview, it’s pretty damn funny.

But, I can see his perspective.

Basically his mom insists on giving him unsolicited and unwanted advice. He’s mentioned it almost every day for the last 10 years. He’s tried every trick in the book to get her to stop…

No go…

She insists on treating him like a stupid child and give him senseless advice (…that does nothing but make his blood boil).

He hates rice. He didn’t want rice. He was stressed and just wanted to be tired. But she kept persisting.

Bottom line - the dude snapped. He lost it because it was the last draw.

I also feel equally bad for his mom, the poor lady got the full wrath of his failed job, illness and crappy girl crush.

So, what did he want from me?

Advice. He wanted to know what to do.

My advice? Get away from EVERYONE - take some time to yourself. Get inside your head and work through all the problems.

This is a model example of when someone needs “alone time.” There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be alone for a few days. It’s healthy - I personally do it all the time.

Going the other way, here’s some advice. If someone around you is feeling overwhelmed - ask to help them ONCE. If they say no or more importantly “I want to be left alone,” LEAVE THEM ALONE.

That’s not there way of saying “I’ll only tell me if you ask 63 more times.” Unless you want to become the target of all their frustrations - slowly step away and make no sudden movements on your way out!

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I work hard, right? So does everyone around me! Our team is down-right amazing - hands down. But, having a stellar team does two *bad* things…

1. You get spoiled…start to think that’s just normal and expect it.

2. Sometimes, you even expect more (because you’re so used to it)…

I’ve always treated everyone around me with nothing but respect. Especially for my team, I give them everything they ever ask for, period. It’s a family and I am willing to make ANY sacrifice for my family.

We’re all so busy working and working and building our empire, that we’re always on the GO. Especially this year with all my travel, before one thing is done, I’m on to the next 5 things…

What Happens In All This?

I forget to take a minute to really appreciate and thank my team. No, it’s not enough to just “be there for them” - people are people. They need to hear that you DO see their effort.

Most “A players” don’t need to be told every day or even every month. But, in the end, EVERYONE has their points.

Bottom line is this. Consider it the BIGGEST flattery if someone is looking for appreciation from you. Mostly it means they really respect you and want to impress you!

But, if you go a long time without doing it - it can be the biggest de-motivation.

I found that this was the BIGGEST weakness in my style of leadership. I’m seriously working on it now and I can’t appreciate my friend enough for bringing it up.

It not only makes the person feel good - it makes ME feel good.

Try this:

EVERY DAY - Try appreciating someone. Anyone. Even the cashier at your lunch cafeteria. How about just saying…

“You know Sam…you’re always really pleasant…I appreciate you for that - thank you” or…

“Sam, you make a killer cheese sandwich man - just wanted to say, I really look forward to it everyday!”

Think about it - the last time someone said something nice to you - didn’t it make you feel great?

How would you feel if you can make at least one person feel that way every day?

It’s very powerful.