(Record time – Not just because it was completed in less than two days, but also because I’ve never finished one before.)

I took some time out today to visit an old past-time – procrastination.

So, here’s my synopsis in Wordle format… Enjoy.

Try Wordle out for yourself.

So much work to catch up on, so much more to do.

What is a person to do when they have so much work? Go through it? Begin with something small and work through it until it’s all complete? Do the more interesting projects first and work through to the harder stuff?

Or ignore it all and stuff around learning how to create anaglyphes?

Take a guess which way I went -

I wish the real world was in 3D.

And I must say – I’m pretty proud of this one right now.

So, what’s a guy to do once he’s finished a new short story? Read through it looking for mistakes? Edit it? Start a new story? Be prolific? Take care of personal business? Clean?

NAH

Mess around on the interwebs, ofcourse!

I came across this website I Write Like. A “statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them to those of the famous writers.”

I popped in my very newly completed draft and was told -

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I played around a little, putting in a few pieces. I got Chuck Palahniuk for a few of them and also names like Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Good to know, Good to know.

ETA – An amusing screenshot.

A few weeks ago, when I was kicked out of kindly asked to vacate my room on Sydney Rd for no real logical reason I can work out, I found myself with no place to go. So, I temporarily set up camp on my sister’s couch.

It was supposed to only be a matter of days but due to the stuffing around of some landlords who, after making me jump through hoops, gave away one room (Waiting until I’d arrived to sign a lease to tell me) and then raised the price on the second to well above it’s worth. So my few days on the couch became a few weeks while I searched for another locale to occupy.

And search I did.

Meanwhile, I’ve been applying for part-time work, attempting to catch up on homework for Tafe and spending too much time and money on the one thing that got me vacated from my room in the first place. (Look for a thinly veiled reference in the next Misplaced Panda… actually, It might be the one after that.)… but, like a cigarette addiction – I know that she’s bad for me, does no good whatsoever… and will probably end up killing me. But hell – I can’t give it up just yet.

I am trying to cut back, though.

A couple of days ago, I lucked out and found not one but two places to live. I had to make a choice between somewhere with a good location in a room overlooking a busy street which I could move into immediately and somewhere a little cleaner, a little newer but out of the way which involved me spending another week on my sister’s couch.

I chose the immediate move into the good location.

Duh.

I’ve now been here for two days and with any decision made I can immediately see the positives and negatives that weren’t so apparent beforehand. But they’re slowly being dealt with.

Number One was lack of storage space. While this room came with a large wardrobe it wasn’t enough to accommodate the immense amount of shit stuff that I’ve accumulated since coming to Melbourne. I’m still dealing with this problem but I’ve made some progress by purchasing a couple of storage bins on wheels which slide conveniently under the bed.

Number Two was the lack of a desk. I fixed this problem yesterday when I came upon a nice little desk at Savers. It was the right size… AND it had wheels! I could easily push it home. No problems, no worries.

Except for the fact that the desk slowly came apart as I pushed it down the uneven, cracked sidewalk. As I pushed, repaired, pushed the desk home it became harder and harder to hold the thing together. At first I was making it ten or twenty metres before a screw would pop loose but as I got closer to home I was barely making half a metre’s progress. Finally I got it home and then the final horror dawned on me – How the hell was I going to get it up the stairs?

Instead of holding it together I went the other way – With a few turns on a couple of screws yet to come completely loose I had the desk in three parts and easily carried each of them up to my new room. I reassembled (with some minor repair work) the desk and now… Voila – A desk.

There are still a couple of problems with the place that i can’t fix myself but the landlord, A nice guy who wanted to lend me a copy of the Necronomicon (I’m hoping not for worship purposes), is already on them or about to be.

One is the broken window – a pane was broken just before I moved in and it’s yet to be replaced, a bit of cardboard keeping the elements at bay. So, it’s a little cold in here right now.

I would turn my heater on but that brings me to problem number two – The power is out. A fuse is blown. I’ve attempted to fix this myself but after a few tries I’ve come to the conclusion that it isn’t anything in my room that is causing the power outages. I’m sure it’ll be repaired post-haste but as it’s still six a.m. I’ll have to suffer out this antarctic temperatures for now.

They did, however, give me a rug… and I think it really ties the room together.

Phone’s ringing, Dude.

It’s six months into the year now and if I’ve learned anything (and I haven’t) it’s that The more things change the more they stay the same…

That and the fact you can’t fold any piece of paper more than 7 times…

It has been a while since I’ve done a proper update, filling all you millions… hundreds… tens… zeroes of my followers in on what I’ve been doing…

Since it’s the beginning of June I thought I’d do a run down of the year so far. Listing all the interesting tid-bits in one nice little concise blog post.

Because I feel like it, that’s why… Stop asking stupid questions.

So here it is, in list form. Moderately organised into no order at all -

• I got into Tafe studying Writing and Publishing. I’ve been enjoying it immensely even though it’s been a bit of a shock to the system for this old menial job worker – actually having to put in some brain power… Eeek!
• A couple of my short stories are being put into the school mag – INfusion. More on that later.
• I’ve been getting some writing done and I think I’m improving. I do still have troubles battling the old Writer’s Block and tendencies to procrastinate. But I have gotten some new stuff written – It feels great after going so many months unable to get a word out.
• I’ve applied for what feels like a million jobs. I got one a few months back and kept it for a whole night. Nothing new has come up since then.
• I’ve been taking some pretty pretty photos. And spent hours editing some of them. I’ve been finding it a great way to take my mind off things.
• I moved into my own place making me an official Melbournite. I’m still here after four months. I do enjoy the whole four walls and roof thing… no matter how close together they are.
• On my days off, if I’m up early enough, I sometimes get to see Hot Air Balloons flying over where I live. Sometimes I can see them in the distance while waiting for the bus to Tafe.
• Met new people… Clowned around with some of them. Made friends and lost them. Had some good times with good people and bad times with bad people. And also vice versa.
• Been threatened with a lawsuit by an American Tuna Company.
• Got all dressed up and shuffled around Melbourne. Ate brains, drank beer – had a bloody good time.
• I’ve been enjoying all the strange weather Melbourne has to offer… Though I still miss the proper thunderstorms of up north.
• I’ve been getting into my new life. Embracing it. I’ve gotten a new haircut or two, I’ve bought my first scarf, I’ve taken to coat wearing and trams and unpredictable weather.
• But I still haven’t learned how to Time Travel.

It’s no secret the last few years haven’t been kind to me… Or at least I haven’t used them wisely.

But I think this last year has changed me some. I have gotten stronger – grown some. Stopped stagnating and started moving forward again. Overcome old problems and made some new ones. Embarrassed myself but kept on trying. Learned exactly what a preposition is.

I’ve laughed, I’ve fought, I’ve struggled, I’ve drank, I’ve dated, I’ve celebrated, I’ve had fun, I’ve waxed philosophical,

I’ve updated.