I can’t believe I’m doing this…but I’m about to drop a soccer bullet that doesn’t involve any urine or blood bombs, or refs being taken out by a flare gun. In fact, it’s a straight, positive, soccer bullet. Roll it.

That’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic if you need him; and even I have to admit, that bicycle kick goal is stupid. Sure, dude in the red jersey was so far out he must have forgotten he was a goalie and not a midfielder, but credit where credit is due: that goal is one of the ages. It’s so good I won’t even mention that goalie who got hit with a firecracker from the stands in Argentina. Bicycle kicks and bottle rockets. I showed you love. You show your true colors.

Soccer

Bad news for all those fans who have thrown out marriage proposals to Hope Solo, she’s taken. And even worse news for Solo: it’s by a horrible guy.

You remember Jerramy Stevens. Former NFL’er. A guy who’s been arrested for assault…sexual assault…drug possession…extreme DUI and hit and run after slamming his car into a nursing home. And now you can add to all of that, suspicion of domestic violence. Against Hope Solo. The day before they were to be married.

Photos: Mrs. Stevens

One, who gets married on a Tuesday? Two, who marries a guy with that rap sheet. Either Solo doesn’t know how to Google or just doesn’t care. Stevens hasn’t been charged with anything yet, but police were summoned to the Solo home after Hope’s brother Marcus reportedly hit a party crasher with a taser blast. Authorities found the bride to be with a bloody elbow, which she refused to explain. And a bloody Stevens lying on the floor behind a bed. He told police he was sleeping. They told him he was arrested.

But this story has a happy ending, because reportedly they were married last night after all. I can definitely see these two growing old together. Even if they have only been together for two months and brawled because they couldn’t decide where to live after they were married. Allegedly.

Hey Hope, you know all the classic wedding day omens..: rain means fertility, snow means wealth. And blood and handcuffs mean…get the hell out of there... Stat.

Gold Medal winners

Johnathan Franklin (College Football) Interview | Mike Shanahan Gets Cash And Items Stolen | Hope Solo And Jerramy Stevens Have A Rough Night | A Marlins Scott Stapp Parody

Mark Heisler (NBA) Interview | Jets' Teammates Crack Tim Tebow | Rasheed Wallace Goes With Aflac | Huge Email Of The Day

And congrats to Swiss soccer player Michel Morganella who shattered both an Olympic and world record yesterday…for dumbest tweet ever. After losing to the South Korea 2-1, Morganella thumbed out this idiocy in French, that roughly translates as: “I want to beat up all South Koreans! Bunch of mentally handicapped retards!” Well done, Morganella: racism, violence and an r-bomb, all in 140 characters or less. I didn’t even know that was possible.

I’ll say it again, because the message obviously isn’t getting through. Twitter is a loaded gun. And it will go off. It’s like a car: never use it if you’re angry, emotional or drunk. And lastly, your phone, or lapper is like an open mic at a presser. Before you thumb anything out, ask yourself, is this something I’d ever say to a reporter. Because essentially, Morganella just got up in front of everyone at a news conference and said, is this thing on…everyone rolling…ok….“I want to beat up all South Koreans, bunch of mentally handicapped retards.”

Nice knowing you, loser.

Hope Solo Cracks Brandi Chastain | Showering With A Bronze Medal | Shannon Sharpe (NFL) Interview | A Very Short Segment

Arian Foster Is A Vegan | Jon Paul Morosi (MLB) Interview | Huge Email Of The Day | Huge Call Of The Day

Soccer

Apparently there’s some sort of soccer wing-ding going on in Poland and Ukraine right now. I guess. I think. Or so I’m told.

Any way, I hate to be the guy who only talks soccer up when there’s a riot, but it’s pretty hard to get fired up for Russia v Poland when the riot that preceded the game was 100 times better than the match itself. Needless to say, these two countries have a lot of history: most of it bad. So when they get together, it’s not a question of if there’s going to be a riot, but how good a riot it’s going to be. And this one was a doozy with over 200 arrests.

My question is why didn’t authorities bust out their heavy artillery to quell the riot: if you have sonic cannons that induce involuntary urination and groin chomping dogs, use them. If not then…when? What are you saving them for. Besides we’re not watching that tourney for the soccer: we’re waiting on the dogs and the weapons that cause involuntary urination.

No Olympics

2011 Year In Review April | 2011 Year In Review June | 2011 Year In Review July | 2011 Year In Review Jul-Aug

2011 Year In Review Jun-Jul -Aug | 2011 Year In Review Sept. | 2011 Year In Review Sept - Oct. | 2011 Year In Review Finish

Jay Cutler's Roller Coaster Season For The Bears | Trying To Figure Out The BCS | Chris Dufresne (College Football) Interview | BCS Issues

A Solution To The BCS | Jay Cutler's Injury | Hub Arkush (NFL) Interview | Final Good-Byes

Matt Schaub (NFL) Interview | Soccer Player Showboats A Chance At Goal | MizDirection's Run At Del Mar | Ben Mezrich (New Book) Interview

Ben Mezrich Interview Cont. | Ben Mezrich Interview Cont. | Huge Email Of The Day | Huge Text Of The Day

Martin’s thoughts on Japan winning the 2011 Women’s World Cup: “Massive upset.”

Topics: 2011 Women’s World Cup Final | Japan being the team of destiny | The U.S. choking | American players struggling with the pressure | The shootout | U.S. beating Brazil in a shootout | Hope Solo | Solo’s comments about faking an injury | Sportsmanship | Strategy or gamesmanship | The Women’s game | The run that the U.S. Women made | Not finishing | Impact of the Women’s run on the U.S. fans | The Final having drama all the way through | Alex Morgan | The U.S. Women’s team future | Ok with a shootout to decide the champion | Japan never beating the U.S., Germany and Sweden before this years World Cup | Massive upset |

Credit to the Japanese women’s soccer team. I’m not sure the better team won, but I know the tougher team did. Fact is, they had more heart, were more resilient, and in the end, the moment wasn’t too big for them. They looked like they were totally outclassed and on the verge of getting blown out early, but never rattled… and as the Americans missed chance after chance, the Japanese team just kept grinding. They came into the game with a plan and they worked it. They didn’t fold after Alex Morgan gave the U.S. the lead in regulation and refused to give in even when Abby Wambach appeared to win it with a header in the 104th minute. They refused to lose. Their leader Homare Sawa wouldn’t let them. That game was all but over twice but they kept believing when they really had no business to. And it really did seem as if they were playing for something much bigger than themselves or their (sport). As great as the U.S. run was, it was nothing compared to what Japan did. No one gave Japan any shot to advance to the finals prior the start of the tourney. They had played the U.S. 25 times and never beaten them. Nor had they beaten Germany or Sweden. And they beat all three in 8 days in route to the title. And if the U.S. had to lose to anyone, I’m glad it was Japan, given what that nation has endured in recent months and (because) of the heart and class they displayed in winning. Soccer will never be my thing, but that was a great game and as is the case in any sport, Japan played bigger in the biggest moments and deserved to win.

Photos: 2011 Women's World Cup Finals

As for the U.S .women…first the positive; they captivated much of the nation in making that great run and coming within minutes of winning their third World Cup. It was good for them and good for U.S. soccer. That said, and taking nothing away from Japan who showed immense heart, that tourney was the U.S.’ to lose and they should have won. How do you let a team come back on you, not once, but twice, that you had never lost to and had beaten twice right before this tourney? And yes, I get that this is not the same Japanese team the Americans saw earlier this year. Just as I get the Americans were the top ranked team in the world entering this tournament, dominated the first half, had two leads and were just three minutes from cashing it in. But that was their problem. They didn’t cash it in; just as they didn’t cash in any of their numerous opportunities in the first half. That game should been over before they went into the locker room at halftime. And don’t tell me a penalty kick-shoot out is a terrible way to lose a World Cup. No one here had a problem with Brandi Chastin was ripping off her shirt after the U.S won on a penalty kick back in 99, so don’t bring that around here right now. The problem wasn’t that the Cup was decided with a shoot-out… it was that the U.S. didn’t bother to show up for the shoot out. And the reason they didn’t show was because they let Japan score in the 117th minute after another defensive breakdown. Besides, it should have never come down to this anyway. Look, I hate to be the one to wreck this feel -good story, and it does still feel pretty good, but it would have felt even better if the U.S. finished. And they didn’t. The Americans lost it as much as Japan won it. And the reason Japan won it was because they were tougher and converted when they needed to.

Japan defeats USA on penalty kicks

Will The US Soccer Run Change The Sport In This Country? | U.S. Women's Team Breaks Record On Twitter | Eric Winston (NFL) Interview | A Very Short Segment

Martin Rogers (Soccer) Interview | Lance Berkman (MLB) Interview | The US Women's Soccer Team Did NOT Choke | Huge Call Of The Day

Pacman Jones Arrested For A Sixth Time | James Harrison Calls Roger Goodell The Devil | Adam Carolla (Comedy) Interview | A Very Short Segment

The Flaws About The All-Star Game | What Can Be Done To Fix The Royals | Huge Email Of The Day | Huge Text Of The Day

Info & Stats: USA Women’s Goalkeeper

Photos: 2011 World Cup Action

Hope’s thoughts on rallying late to beat Brazil: “I never want to forget that moment.”

Topics: 2011 World Cup | Rally to beat Brazil | Didn’t realize the magnitude of the win until the today | 2 more games still | Needing to move forward | 2 days to get ready for France | Coming back a man down | Never wants to forget that moment in beating Brazil | Abby Wambach’s header to tie the game late | Time running out on them | Career moments | 2007 World Cup | Never getting to enjoy the last World Cup | Enjoying the process | Battling some of the calls from the game | Playing with too much emotion | Managing her emotions | This next week | Playing with a heavy heart | It’s been 12 years since the American women won the World Cup | America starting to see the beautiful side of the game |

USA Women's Goal Keeper

Han Solo Interview | Derek Jeter Deciding Not To Help His Team Play For Home Field | The Best Available Quarterback On The Free Agent Market | Callers Share Thoughts On Impact Of The All-Star Game

Emailers Weigh In On Topics Of The Day | Ken Rosenthal (MLB) Interview | Calls About Derek Jeter | Hope Solo (Soccer) Interview

Boston Fan Rubs It In Canada's Face | Miss Hawaii Threatens With Pictures Of Kyrie Irving | Charlie Sheen Interview | A Very Short Segment

Russian Women's Soccer Team Playing In Bikinis | New Zealand Swimming Star Justin Wright Divorces Parents | Shaun Phillips (NFL) Interview | Huge Call Of The Day

Taking nothing away from Hope Solo and her teammates, it just didn’t look to me like they got North Korea’s best shot yesterday. And according to their coach, they didn’t. So, what was the problem? Jet lag? Food poisoning? Nerves? Nope. Head coach Kim Kwang Min says the reason his team wasn’t right was because it got lit up by lightning: “When we stayed in Pyongyang during training camp there was an unexpected accident so our team was not capable of playing, our players were hit by lightning during a training match.” Are you kidding me?

Tell me dude didn’t just play the lightning card! Best excuse ever after a loss: we got lit up by lighting and we’re still not right. Let me ask you something coach, if your players were still jolted up with lightning sickness, what were they doing on that pitch? Because, if you’re physically sound enough to get on the field, then you have no excuse. At least, that’s how it works in every other sport that people actually care about. Again, I’m not a meteorologist or mathematician, but what are the chances of a single person getting struck by lightning? Like one in a million? So what are the chances of an entire team getting struck by lightning. Crazy astronomical. But still less than the coach going with that as an excuse after a loss. Best excuse ever. Kim Jong Il saying he once shot 38 over 18, with 5 aces and that he invented an invisible cell phone to communicate directly with his coach can’t believe how whack that lightning excuse is. And neither can I.

North Korean Women's Coach

USA Women's Goalkeeper

Rudy Gay Starts A Call Of Duty Camper Vs. Non-Camper Fight | CM Punk Goes Off On The People That Run His Sport And His TV Network | Erik Compton (Golf) Interview | A Very Short Segment

Jimmer Fredette (NBA) Interview | Caller Reaction To The Compton Interview | Huge Email Of The Day | Huge Text Of The Day

Curt Menefee (NFL) Interview | The Philliebot Throws Out The First Pitch | Dodgers And The Divorce Drama | Emails And @ Tweets

Bruce Jenner Interview | Doc Gooden, Bad Father | Woman Sues Yankees For Copyright Infringement | Tiger Woods Calls In

Player Kicks Owl

The Donald Says Mike Leach Should Get The Miami Job | Doc Rivers (NBA) Interview | A Very Short Segment | Callers From The Cleveland Area Weigh In On LeBron

Dwight Howard Does His Derek Anderson Impression | Kevin McHale's Thoughts On The Heat | Caller Ray Ray In Tampa Has An Epic Meltdown | Reaction To Ray Ray's Call

Ron Turcotte (Horse Racing) Interview | Caller Tom From Harrisburg Gets Racked After Call About The Ryder Cup | Jonathan Vilma (NFL) Interview | The U And Their Football Players

Al Leiter (MLB) Interview | A Leader Of A Country Knees A Player In The Grapes In A Soccer Match | Huge Email Of The Day | Huge Call Of The Day

Credit For Braylon Edwards Performing Big After A Rough Week, But No Credit For How He Is Handling It | The 49ers Are Unraveling | Dennis Dodd (College Football) Interview | A Very Short Segment

Michael Lombardi (NFL) Interview | The Albert Haynesworth Situation In Washington Has Gone From Bad To Worse | Another Georgia Player Gets In Trouble With The Law | Huge Text Contest

How about another soccer burn. We know Beckham and his wife Posh are all about style. And labels and brand names. Armani. Dolce and Gabbana. Gucci. Lego. You heard me. Lego. Those little plastic building blocks that children geel on, and parents step…. On… barefoot in the middle of night. It’s like stepping on a rake. Well, they’re trending up, across the pond after Becks admitted if he didn’t play soccer, he’d be one of those obsessive Lego artists who spends 80 hours of week sculpting Lego architecture.

Photos: Bend It Like Beckham

Look, all athletes need something to do when the cheering stops. And apparently Becks wants to go pro in Lego. Don’t get me wrong. Lego's are great. They’re certainly more challenging and fulfilling than their dumb little brother Lincoln Logs. And we all loved them at some point. But then something happened. We turned 9. Look, I’m not going to lie; I’ve taken a run at the kid’s Guitar Hero on occasion. But I didn’t quit my job to completely take over the toy chest. I mean, does Posh cook the old man’s dinner in an EZ-bake oven. Do they then retire to for an after dinner game of Battleship. I don’t think Kobe Bryant beats it home from Laker practice to work on his 10 foot Lite Brite mosaic. Or Derek Jeter rents out a Manhattan studio to invite his rich friends over to view his Etch a Sketch of Mt. Rushmore. It’s all a little weird to me. But then again, so is soccer. And so are thousands of Brits flocking to toy stores so they can build it like Beckham.

USA Today posed the question will the immense interest in the World Cup carry over to the MLS? And you know, I have to be straight and answer by saying (ah, hell no). In a word. No! Not unless, MLS games are broadcast in the middle of the day, in local taverns and fans can use it as an excuse to ditch work and get blasted before lunch. The women winning the World Cup didn’t change anything, nor did Becks coming to the states and neither will Landon Donovan’s game winner against Algeria.

Let me give you yet another example of how little we know and care about soccer in this country. Internationally known and beloved footballer Thierry Henry appeared on a New York TV talk show just after signing with the New York Red Bulls and the very first question the host hit him with was, “You have just joined the Red Bulls, correct? That’s our soccer team here? Are you psyched?” He was until he realized he sat down to do an interview with someone who had no idea who he was or what sport he played. Maybe I missed it, but I don’t recall any media members hitting Amare Stoudemire with “You have just joined the Knicks, correct? That’s our basketball team here? Are you psyched?” Even worse, the host’s sidekick followed that horrible question with, “So you just won the World Cup, right?” If by winning the World Cup you mean they disgraced themselves, their country and their sport by quitting, then yes, they just won the World Cup. Incredible the more things change the more they stay exactly the same. And here in America, we still don’t care about soccer. And never will.

New York Red Bulls

LA Galaxy

Jon Heyman (MLB) Interview | More On The Worst Soccer Interview Ever | Pat Haden (College Football) Interview | Thoughts On Haden Interview

Caller Says Bush Has Become The Scapegoat | David Buehler (NFL) Interview | David Beckham Loves Legos | Huge Text Of The Day

The LeBron Cleveland Tragedy | Jose Canseco Loses A Fight To A 60-Year Old Man | Joe Buck (MLB) Interview | Scott Stapp Marlins Song

World Cup Recap | Lester Hayes Impersonator Calls In | Art Farber Joins The Brothers | Two-Year Old Runs Over Someone With A Golf Cart

NBA Free Agency, Kobayashi, Favre | Sad Soccer Fan | Tom Verducci (MLB) Interview | Sad Soccer Fan React, Emails

Sad Soccer Fan React, Emails | Tom Osborne (College Football) Interview | Osborne React, Email Contest | Text Contest, Show Close

Rome’s Weekend At The Horse Track, Michael Vick’s Birthday Party | Soccer Talk, USA Loses, World Cup Problems | Grown Ups At The Box Office, Clones Not Getting Joke | Lebron James

Ken Berger Interview (NBA)| Carlos Zambrano’s Suspension And Having Dinner With Ozzie Guillen / Callers | Emails | Calls, Text Contest

Info & Stats: Retired Hall of Fame US Soccer Player

Photos:See Hall of Famer Alexi Lalas In Action

Topics: Time being had in South Africa for the World Cup Tournament | Giving soccer back to the US | Celebrating the way the US team won | Fulfilling expectations | Bunch of new fans | US teams always have the heart, but this team has the tools and experience | US should set the tone off the bat against Ghana | US has to be smart against Ghana | Team is more athletic than Ghana | Team has to impose themselves | Landon Donovan showed up when needed | Landon cannot be just another player out there | Soccer will be gradual at progressing into the mainstream after the World Cup | Positive things for the sport | Tragic event resulting from the US win over Colombia in 1994.

DeMarcus Cousins Goes To Sacramento In The NBA Draft | Shoot-Out Advice For Team USA In The Next Round | Billy Koch Surprises Jim With A Matt Damon Signed Poster | React To The Horse Racing Interview

Adrian Wojnarowski Interview (Yahoo Sports) | Sean Payton's Super Bowl Bender | Adam Sandler Interview (Actor) | The Week That Was

National Soccer Hall Of Fame Inductee

Michael Young (Texas Rangers) Interview | Big Jungle Guy, John Isner Wins The Longest Tennis Match Ever | The Reasons Why Soccer Is Not A Popular Pro Sport In This Country | The Guests That Have Asked For The Karma

Albert Haynesworth Is A Selfish Guy | John Isner (Tennis) Interview) | Jeff Goodman (Basketball) Interview | Huge Text Of The Day

Info & Stats: Yahoo Soccer Writer | Worked For London Daily Mirror

Topics: 2010 World Cup | USA very emotional after win | Biggest win for USA Soccer in decades | So unlikely to score that late against Algeria | Landon Donovan’s redemption from 2006 | Donovan broke down in tears after the game | Had the US lost, Americans probably would have forgot about soccer for another 4 years | Disallowed goals | Bob Bradley | The Americans are playing with house money | The tournament is set up nicely for the US | France | France has been an absolute humiliation | No unity for the French team |

Info & Stats: Former USA World Cup Defender | Current LA Galaxy Defender

Photos: USA vs Algeria

Topics: 2010 World Cup | USA’s win over Algeria | US showed heart | Disallowed goal | Very tough to fight back from disallowed goal | Landon Donovan | Donovan didn’t have his best game against Algeria, but stepped up when needed | World Cup format | Bob Bradley | Bradley’s questionable lineup changes | Will the U.S. start paying more attention | Playing abroad

Soccer Writer

Former USA World Cup Defender | Current LA Galaxy Defender

USA Soccer

Gregg Berhalter (Soccer) Interview | Callers Weigh In On The US Team | Martin Rogers (Soccer) Interview | James Blake V. Pam Shriver During The Match

Lakers Have To Do What It Takes To Re-sign Phil Jackson | Jay Mohr Calls In | Huge Email Contest | Chris Rock (New Movie) Interview

Shirt Changing?

Zenyatta 'Yes !' With The Quad-Yeah Chuck Liddell Got His Body In Shape, But Not His Chin | Alvin Delloro Thanks Everyone For Thoughts About His Brother | Vince Young’s IQ Didn’t Get Any Higher

Jayson Stark (MLB) Interview | The Vuvuzela, Just One More Reason To Hate Soccer | Huge Email Of The Day | Huge Text Of The Day