Jacin Tales

Las Vegas, Baby!

2009-11-26T15:31:00.000-08:00

June 2007

Eddie checked flights to Las Vegas through American Airlines for Jacin, George, Josh and himself; he’d heard the airline was offering a rate of under $100 each way. Of course, there had to be a catch: No direct flights from Salt Lake City — the airline forced passengers to connect in places like Dallas and Minneapolis, making the travel time a minimum of 14 hours.
Yes, vacationing in Las Vegas in June was ballsy, if not just plain stupid. They once went to Cancun, Mexico during hurricane season and were holed-up in the hotel for five days; during a vacation in Yellowstone they snowmobiled at night without water and not adequately dressed, and so, of course, Eddie fell behind the rest of the group, eventually running out of fuel. The others had called search-and-rescue to find him, which took more than an hour.
But they liked being adventurous vacationers.
Bagging a flight they rented a black Ford Explorer and set out on the 465-mile trek to the balmy mecca. Eddie insisted he’d drive — much to the others’ chagrin; none of them were comfortable with Eddie’s aggressive and furious driving. Eddie noticed though that they stopped complaining when they rolled into Sin City in under five hours. They easily found their way to Paris Las Vegas hotel, which was a delightful hop, skip and minuet from the Flamingo Road exit.
They had to wait for their room to be cleaned (Eddie’s lead-foot forced them to arrive too early for check-in), So they decided to purchase a cocktail served in a large, neon plastic Eiffel Tower-shaped souvenir cup. They perused the specialty shops that line Le Boulevard and ogled the eye-candy lounging at the pool located on the second floor roof.
When their room was released, they ordered another fruity cocktail and jumped on an elevator to the eighth floor. The deluxe room was exquisitely furnished with two queen-sized beds overflowing with pillows, a delicate sofa, an armoire with plenty of closet space and, of course, a fully stocked mini bar. The bathroom was spacious and had his-and-her sinks, a whirlpool bath and separate shower.
For their first night, Josh had made reservations at Lucky Cheng’s, a “five-star” interactive drag cabaret which offers a three-course Pan-Asian menu, exotic drinks and what Josh monikered “a whole lot of snap-snap, girlfriend.”
Jacin rang the hotel’s front desk for a taxi and 15 minutes later they piled into a yellow cab littered with sexual fantasy paraphenalia. Unfortunately, neither Josh nor the cabbie knew that Lucky Cheng’s had moved its location from the opposite end of The Strip to within walking distance of their hotel. Sufficed to say the $40 taxi tour of The Strip left them all a little less than in a chipper mood.
But after the dinner show, especially the Tina Turner act, and a few more cocktails, the boys were again in a celebratory mood. They walked a few doors down to Krave, a gay dance club that offers nightly events. Tonight was Naked Student Night, with a wet T-shirt/wet boxers contest. The club’s large dance floor and stage held dozens of sexy men dancing and gyrating in soaked undergarments.
The next evening the boys went to Cirque de Soliel’s Ka, which was showing at the MGM Grand hotel. The auditorium was lined with near 100-seat rows, and their seats were in the center of one of them. Josh’s inebriation told him to hop the back of his seat instead of sliding through the aisle, and which garnered him a tongue-lashing from an usher.
The following morning at the sinful hour of seven, they were all rudely awakened by the malicious bedside alarm. Jacin, George and Eddie — Josh stayed behind nursing a grinding hangover — journeyed to the Hacienda Hotel located near Lake Mead. There, they filed onto a Black Canyon River Adventures tour bus and traveled along a steep, winding dirt road to the Colorado River just below Hoover Dam.
There they boarded a large motorized raft and relaxed during the 12-mile trip down the Colorado River. They learned some history on the dam, were privy to some hidden hot springs spouting from the canyon walls, witnessed several species of wild fowl and, Jacin especially, “ooohed-and-aaahed” over some baby big horn sheep.
That night took them to New York-New York for the sensual side of Cirque Du Soliel with its erotic Zumanity. From topless women in a large fishbowl to an astonishing contortionist to a buff dwarf aerialist to a boisterous drag emcee, the boys enjoyed an uproarious sexual journey unlike any other. So much so that Josh and Eddie were itching to get laid.
After the show they decided to hit Krave again. The club was hosting a SNAPI event; they each received free porn as they walked through the door and three hot, shirtless porn stars were on-hand to sign them.
After several kamikazis and many more pitchers of beer, Eddie, Jacin and George walked back to the hotel, leaving Josh behind — who was still scoping out a date ... possibly one of the porn stars.
Nearing five o’clock in the morning, Josh threw open the door and stumbled inside. Once George calmed him down enough to speak coherently, they learned that he lost his key and was pounding on the hotel room door. And when nobody answered, he found a housekeeper who he coerced into letting him inside.
Jacin, George and Eddie stole confused glances.
“I was knocking on the wrong door and when she let me inside, I immediately passed out on the bed. I don’t know how long I was in there before the couple whose room it actually belonged to came in and found me half-naked in the bed.”
Hysterical laughter broke out.
During the ride home Josh incessantly complained how the hotel made him pay for a night in that room. All that Eddie could think was: “Our vacations always are an adventure.”

The Domino Effect

2009-10-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

Gabe,
Congratulations on turning 35!
I know how bummed you are about me moving to Boston so I bought an open-ended plane ticket for you to use when you’re ready to come see me. Also, I want to say that these past few years have been some of the best. I’m glad you came up to me at the bar that night and asked me to play pool. I enjoy your friendship more than I ever thought possible. You’ve made me a fuller and better person and I love you for it.
Please go see your parents as a favor to me, share your wisdom with them like you did with me.
Always,
Kyle
PS – Take care of my little sister, I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it.

Gabe folded the letter and returned it to the green velvet diary.
Gabe had asked Eddie to move in with him over a week ago. Yet day after day Eddie dodged Gabe’s attempts to inspire an answer, just as he also was dodging questions about Kyle.
Eddie’s persistence the last few weeks was beginning to alienate their relationship; Gabe thought if he asked Eddie to move in with him the questions and suspicion would end, and memories from his past would again subside, allowing Gabe to sleep at night.
The memories were once distant shadows that had crept back into his head, and stood poised in single file like disciplined soldiers ready for battle. Determined and ambitious, they’d patiently wait for that inevitable touch that would heavily topple them over in quick succession, like watching the travels of a bicycle through a picket fence.
Unfortunately, Gabe’s plan had misfired: Not only was he still riddled with those dark memories, his anxiety was now coupled with the disappointment and sadness he felt over Eddie’s reluctance to share a life with him.
Gabe languidly entered the bar and ordered a Sapphire gin martini from a tall, mustached bartender who winked at him. He left a dollar tip — would’ve been more but the wink annoyed him.
Then it happened; his mouth dropped open and his heart raced to his stomach. Perfection was in the bar. Perfection had thick, dark hair tufting behind the ears, and a tanned neck with blue-gray veins racing underneath a white-ribbed crewneck. Gabe watched Perfection’s back muscles pulse underneath the shirt. He sauntered past and shot Perfection a smile.
“That guy just checked me out,” Perfection commented to the blonde sitting next to him.
“What did you expect,” the girl replied rhetorically. “This is a gay bar!”
“Excuse me,” Gabe interrupted, then asked Perfection, “Do you want to shoot pool?”
“I’m not gay!” Perfection blurted out.
Gabe took a step back, “Sorry. I didn’t mean ... I just need a partner to play doubles.”
“No. I’m sorry man. Yeah, sure I’ll play.”
“I’m Gabe,” he said.
They shook hands, “Kyle.”
Perfection’s name is Kyle. Gabe noticed the blue-gray veins also branched out along smooth, tanned, robust arms and hands.
“Uh, this is my sister Ronnie,” Kyle said, indicating the blonde.
“Hi,” said Gabe, taking her hand.
“Hello,” she returned.
“So what brings you here,” Gabe asked.
“I come here with my girlfriend, but she’s in Arizona visiting her parents. So I made my apparent homophobic brother come with me,” Ronnie jabbed.
“I’m not homophobic,” Kyle retorted, flustered. “I thought you were trying to pick me up ... I didn’t want you to feel embarrassed.”
“So bellowing, ‘I’m not gay!’ was saving me from being embarrassed,” Gabe said playfully.
Kyle dropped his head, giving up, “Yeah, really, I’m sorry. Not my finest moment.”
“Come on, let’s play pool,” Gabe dragged Kyle off.
That night, a friendship started that was as close as any gay-straight men could have. Kyle taught Gabe to fish; Gabe taught Kyle to make hobo dinners. They went to the movies weekly and shared a jumbo salted popcorn and a large Sprite. They occasionally went to nightclubs – Gabe introduced Kyle to the Electric Slide, and Kyle introduced Gabe to Mudslides.
Then one night, their friendship took a tragic turn. It was Gabe’s 34th birthday and Kyle threw him a bash in his home. After hours of dancing, games of Twister, countless tequila shots and eventually pushing Ronnie and her girlfriend out the door, a highly inebriated Kyle suggested Gabe join him in his bedroom.
“You want to watch porn,” he asked Gabe.
“I’m not really into straight porn, but thanks.”
“Come on, I have one that has some man-on-man action in it.” Kyle slung his arm around Gabe’s neck, toppling them over.
Kyle finally coaxed Gabe into his room, where he drunkenly stripped off his shirt and pants. He popped in a DVD and pounced on the bed like a dog. He patted the mattress, inviting Gabe to join him.
Gabe reluctantly joined him, fully clothed.
Kyle fast-forwarded the film to the male-male-female scene. Within seconds Gabe noticed Kyle’s boxers rise, and found it amazing that as drunk as Kyle was, he could still get hard.
Gabe peeled his eyes off what he estimated was at least a 9-inch hard-on and looked at Kyle. Kyle’s green eyes, lined with a golden speckle, stared back at him, longingly.
Gabe hesitated for a moment then slipped his hand under Kyle’s boxers. He started to stroke him.
Kyle turned his head back to the film. His breathing gained momentum into a near-inaudible moan. His bare chest heaved, and he climaxed in Gabe’s hand.
Suddenly Kyle jumped off the bed as if he realized he was lying in toxic waste, causing Gabe to fly off the bed too.
“What the hell was that,” Kyle demanded.
Gabe was so stunned he couldn’t even respond.
Instantly Kyle was within inches of Gabe; intense pain surged through Gabe left cheekbone. Suddenly he was balled up on the carpet shielding Kyle’s swift kicks.

Coming Out

2009-09-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

Mom smirked at Dad’s story and retaliated, “Let me tell you an even better story about Dad.”
“Jacin was about 16, I think,” she started. “And one night Dad started having chest pains, and as they worsened we decided we should take him to the hospital.”
Immediately Jacin thought discouragingly, “Another time I don’t remember.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair as Mom continued the story. She said that the doctor told her that he needed a heart stint as soon as possible. After the surgery, the doctor said it went well, but that Dad should lie still for at least two hours, to move as little as possible. However, this was made more difficult since the remote to the television in his room wasn’t working properly and the channel it was turned on to was fuzzy.
When the doctor finally allowed Jacin and Mom into Dad’s hospital room, after the two-hour period, they had found Dad on his knees on the floor — the opening of his hospital gown revealing his bare butt — wrestling with an octopus of cords, trying to fix the TV.
“After fiddling with all those cords,” Mom continued. “He got up and walked over to the TV, rolling his IV stand with him. “And then, you know Dad’s a fairly short man, and the TV was bolted high on the wall, so he literally started jumping up and down, pushing the channel buttons with his finger.”
Mom and Dad began laughing at the memory, and Mom continued, “And we all just stood there stunned by the fact that two hours ago he had just had heart surgery, and he was jumping around like a 6-year-old.”
Suddenly, a memory from that day vividly illuminated in Jacin’s mind. He turned to George.
“I’m ready to marry you,” he said behind an enormous smile.
“Really?” asked George a little stunned, but mostly with enthusiasm.
“Yes,” replied Jacin. “Completely.”
“Not to sound negative,” George continued. “But why all of sudden?”
Jacin smiled and leaned into George and gave him a peck on the lips. “ There’s something important that I remember about that day in the hospital ... I was scared that Dad was going to die.” Jacin glanced at Dad and quickly averted his eyes in a flash of guilt.
“For a long time I wanted to tell Mom and Dad about who I was, what was going on with me,” he continued. “I’d been fooling around with my best friend Ben for a while and I felt so much guilt about not telling you guys,” Jacin directed to his parents.
His mother, who was sitting on his left, reached over and gently took his hand in hers.
“So once we got Dad back into the hospital bed, I just blurted it out, ‘I’m gay!’ It was kind of funny at first because Dad just sort of giggled, but Mom looked like I had slapped her across the face. She then asked me, rather coldly, did Ben talk you into it?”
He chuckled at the thought and his mother took back her hand.
“You were so young,” she started to explain.
Jacin grabbed her hand back, “Dad didn’t say anything, I don’t think he really even understood what I’d said. But a few days after we took him home from the hospital, I heard them arguing in the bedroom.
“Dad yelled ‘how could you let this happen?’ Then I remember Mom went on a tangent: ‘This isn’t my fault, it’s nobody’s fault; this is who he is and I want him to be happy. I know it’s not the life either of us hoped he’d have, and he probably won’t give us grandchildren, which is a shame because he’d make a great father. But he’ll be happy ... hopefully, and if we support him, that happiness is going to be more likely to happen. I don’t want our son to be alone, I want him to find someone to love and be with, I don’t care with who anymore, do you?’ Then I heard a loud thud. I came to find out later that Dad had punched a hole in the wall.”
A brief moment passed then Mom asked with tears building up, “I didn’t know you had heard all of that.”
Jacin looked at his mother, and their smiles hugged. Jacin said, “It was that moment that I knew I’d be okay.”
Jacin’s father suddenly spoke, “It was many years until I finally let my anger ... my disappointment go.” He hesitated for a second before continuing, “Not until I saw how you look at George, and how he treats you and makes you happy that I realized your mom was right all those years ago. I’m sorry son.”
“It’s OK, Dad,” Jacin cracked a whisper.
“For what it’s worth, you have my blessing,” Dad finished, then promptly stood and strolled off to bed.
The campfire popped and crackled in the sudden cool night’s silence.
To be continued ...

Star-Belly Sneetch

2009-09-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

May 2007
Jacin’s tongue had loosened up after three mojitos, and what had started out as an intimate party for Jody’s 35th birthday now had turned into a roast.
“I’ve known Jody for like 17 years,” Jacin raised his freshened glass. “I think 17 ... is that right Jody?”
“Something like that,” she answered with a smile.
“And yes, she’s been married a few times,” Jacin continued. “To several girls ... and a few boys. But I’m honestly happy that she has met Kat, someone to look after her when she forgets to take a shower, or leaves the toilet seat up ... no, no just kidding.”
Kat, who was sitting beside Jody, only chuckled while Jody was in hysterics.
Kat had driven down from Pocatello, Idaho just for this party, and well, because she couldn’t stand to be away from Jody for more than a blink of an eye.
The two had met three weekends ago at Charleys, Pocatello’s one-and-only gay bar. That weekend Jody, Eddie and Josh got a wild hair up their butts to go party in Kat’s little town. Unfortunately, the first night at the bar, Kat and Jody had played staring games with each other much too long and by the time they finally spoke words to each other, which were, “You’re new” and “Yeah ... hold on I gotta pee,” the blood in their veins was as thin as Lara Flynn Boyle.
Sufficed to say, they spent the night together; though Jody had kept insisting “no sex” the entire cab ride to Kat’s apartment, but she then immediately tore Kat’s clothes off as soon as the screen door buoyed shut behind them.
The following morning Kat drove Jody back to the hotel to meet Eddie and Josh – plans were made to tube the river in Lava Hot Springs. Jody informed Kat that she’d probably get the third degree from the boys.
“They’re very protective of me,” she warned before sliding the keycard in the lock. “Which I think is pretty fabulous,” she added.
Horrified, Kat said as if her ears were burning, “Fabulous?”
“Sorry, I was raised by gay men.”
“Well I sort of figured since you wear makeup and carry a purse and wear bedazzled sandals.”
They entered the room. Josh and Eddie were in bed together, their bodies snaked around each other – a perk they agreed to anytime they vacationed together.
“Hey guys, you remember ...” Jody felt like melting butter. “Ummm ... Kelly.”
Kat stood silently, watching Jody struggle, a thin smile drawn across her face. A few seconds later Kat finally gave in, “Hi, I’m Kat.”
George stood up from the table and directed at Jacin, “Okay honey, sit down. Let me give the next toast to the birthday girl.”
“I haven’t known Jody as long as Jacin,” he started. “But what I do know about her, because of having her over for dinner as often as we do, is that it’s no wonder she’s as short and thin as she is since she doesn’t like any foods that are green, red, black, yellow or white ... and, well, any fish.”
George looked at the spread on the table, “That is why we’re having plain pork chops with a side of wheat toast for dinner and blue Otter Pops for dessert. Bon appétit!”
“Wait, wait!” Eddie insisted, placing his napkin on the table when he stood. “My turn. I’ll start off by saying something nice about Jody, unlike the rest of you mean old trolls.”
Eddie cleared his throat, “I’m really, truly happy for Jody ... to see that her hair has finally grown back after letting me cut out the roller bush that was tangled in it.”
Eddie raised his mojito to Jody and said, “Stop thinking so hard Jody, your tongue’s hanging out.”
“It’s my turn to say ...”
“No, no Nanette,” Kat interrupted Jody. “My turn to get in on this action.”
“So, Eddie and Josh,” she began. “You remember the night Jody and I met and she went home with me, right?
“Yeah. Sure.”
“Well there’s something I left out,” Kat put her hand on Jody’s shoulder, while Jody bowed her head in shame. “We didn’t even get a chance to turn on the lights when we got inside, she was all over me ... to quote George, ‘like a badger in heat.’” So we were climbing all over each other on my bed and all of sudden Jody just sort of flung off the bed. She was on top of me one second, on the floor the next.
So I turned on the bedside lamp, and there she was, on her back giggling, her stomach beating like a heart, and there were these two Sneetches facing each other and dancing on her stomach. It took me a second but then realized they were tattoos. And then I saw that her bellybutton was pierced with a starred stud – it was right then that I knew I was in love.”
“Oh Lord!” quipped Eddie.
“But wait, there’s more,” Kat said. “The first time I came to Salt Lake to see Jody, she showed me the room that she had turned into a Dr. Seuss shrine. There are Horten slippers laid out on the floor, a huge cardboard cutout of Cat in the Hat, a Star-Belly Sneetches wall clock, posters of biffer-baums and flummox, rows of Dr. Seuss books and dozens of porcelain figurines like Cat in the Hat carrying a tray of green eggs and ham, and goldfish and several Cindy Lou Whos, and there’s even a remote-control car driven by the Grinch ... it’s kind of creepy.”
Stunned, Jody stood up, her head tilted back some so she could look kat in the eyes. “Really?” she asked peevishly, as the red Thing One and Thing Two T-shirt she was wearing screamed at the entire dinner table.
To be continued ...

A Wall Built of the Past

2009-08-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

A tinny female voice blasted through the cabin, “Please be seated, fasten your seatbelts and put your seats in the upright position, we are making our final descent into St. Paul.”
“Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” Gabe asked.
“Uumm ... sure,” Eddie replied with stunned hesitation.
Shortly after the fact, Eddie was disappointed with himself for jumping into bed with Gabe after dinner that first night in St. Paul. Eddie doesn’t necessarily want to jump in bed with a guy on the first date, but an exorbitant amount of wine has a strange ability to erase his inhibitions.
Yet, that encounter had led, since returning to Salt Lake City two weeks ago, to them spending all their spare time together, which, for the most part, had turned Eddie into a giddy schoolgirl. But sometimes, and as always, Eddie would be overcome with doubt and suspicion, without any real support — just a stony feeling in his gut.
Fortunately, that feeling is also easily erased each time he and Gabe make love. Gabe’s jade eyes glimmer like tropic waters dancing with the sun’s rays as he stares into Eddie’s eyes while inside him. His breath is always warm and calm like a sip of cognac when they passionately kiss. His fingers are like pen to paper, writing the perfect love story on Eddie’s bare body. They move slowly, deliberately with each other as if they’ve been doing it all their lives. And each time they make love, it seems to last a little longer and with more fervor.
Eventually though, suspicion would creep back in after Gabe would leave for work. Eddie would again feel doubt as he’d sit alone in Gabe’s apartment, which would always lead to irrational behavior like going through his medicine cabinet, cupboards and even trash. These erratic actions had lead Eddie to learn a lot in two weeks about Gabe:
He is a connoisseur of white wines and gourmet coffees; enjoys easy-to-make, white-trash meals like macaroni & cheese, Marie Callender’s frozen entrees and Hormel chili in a can; he uses Right Guard roll-on deodorant ‘Fresh’ scent; the dozens of discarded Q-tips indicate he’s obsessed with clean ears; he uses Lava soap, which is logical since he’s a mechanic; he doesn’t appear to use dental floss or dryer sheets; several crumpled lottery tickets indicate he’s a gambler — a seemingly addicted one at that since he’d have to drive to Idaho or Wyoming to get the tickets; he doesn’t have many books so either he doesn’t read much or he checks them out from the public library — though he does keep a stack of pornographic magazines under his bed, along with several bottles of Gun Oil.
Once, a few days ago, Eddie had found a green velvet-bound diary, the pages full of hand-written poems. He gently fanned through it, stopping occasionally to read. One, entitled ‘Standing on the Beach’ read:

Listen intently to the sea, I said

Hear the faint laughter of his voice?

The joy of a playful young soul

Our son is alive, only fathoms away.

He jumps when a wave takes form

And dances with the rigged cliffs.

He laughs when the ocean sprays

And he dreams endlessly like a sunset.

Take flight, I said to my empty wife

Embrace his enormous soul and cry I love you

For he is listening, and says it to you.

In the deep blue sea, forever lives our boy.

As Eddie’s thoughts wheeled from reading poem after poem with the same theme of death, a folded white paper suddenly slipped out from between the pages of the book. Eddie bent over, retrieved it from the floor and opened it. Inside a hand-written message read:
Gabe,
Congratulations on turning 35!
I know how bummed you are about me moving to Boston so I bought an open-ended plane ticket for you to use when you’re ready to come see me. Also, I want to say that these past few years have been some of the best. I’m glad you came up to me at the bar that night and asked me to play pool. I enjoy your friendship more than I ever thought possible. You’ve made me a fuller and better person and I love you for it.
Please go see your parents as a favor to me, share your wisdom with them like you did with me.
Always,
Kyle
PS – Take care of my little sister, I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it.
The few days since Eddie found the poetry and the letter from some guy named Kyle, he had been hinting to Gabe about them, saying things like “Hey, we should go to a poetry slam tonight!” and “We should have your parents over for dinner sometime” and “Let’s take a trip to Boston, I’ve always wanted to go.”
But Gabe hadn’t budged, hadn’t offered any insight into what Eddie had found, which was now beginning to make Eddie even more suspicious.
To be continued ...

A Nair Disaster and the Stintman

2009-07-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

“Will you marry me?” George asked, a tear sliding down his cheek.
Jacin just stared at him in disbelief.
After a moment, George laughed and said, “Come on. Say yes. We’ve already paid for the cabin and we’re allowed to have the ceremony anywhere in Yellowstone we choose.”
Still no response.
George prodded, “Eddie pitched in with me for our honeymoon to Cancun.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” was all Jacin said before leaving the room.
After the unexpected proposal from George, Jacin had spent three nights at his parents house across the street. On the fourth day he somewhat reluctantly returned home after realizing he couldn’t sleep worth a damn without George by his side.
Jacin, along with his parents, had decided earlier to spend the Fourth of July weekend camping on their property. So Jacin invited George to go along — who somewhat reluctantly accepted. They packed up the truck with camping necessities including their dachsunds Hansel and Gretel, a port-a-potty, fishing gear and enough beer to cure an alcoholic.
A mere hour and 45 minutes later Jacin and George, with Mom and Dad in tow, arrived to one of the largest pinon forests in the nation. Jacin’s family owned five acres of it since the passing of Jacin’s uncle nearly 13 years earlier. Over the years, they had purchased and permanently placed three trailers on a portion of the land; they had dug a firepit the size of Rhode Island and built multi-level shale rock patios around it; they had purchased solar yard lights and placed them along the pathways between the trailers, which were also rocked; they had planted Russian sage, sunflowers and grasses to add variety to the drab natural vegetation (the sunflowers didn’t make it).
Jacin’s parents constantly joked, saying that before long Jacin and George would turn the property into a gated community with a swimming pool, fountains, full plumbing and electricity, and a Redbox.
The foursome quickly unpacked the vehicles and settled into their respective trailers. They then pulled out folding chairs on Mom and Dad’s recently constructed patio and waited out the last two hours before dark. There was a cool breeze that kept the temperature bearable and the swarms of gnats and flies mostly at bay. The few brave pests that buzzed around their ears were quickly shunned by a spray bottle full of Listerine. The breeze also moved large, puffy clouds across the sky like animal-shaped cotton balls on a conveyor belt. Jacin pointed out a jackrabbit, a galloping horse and a hissing cat that metamorphised into a frog right before his eyes.
Eventually night fell, but only after Dad had three white Russians, which loosened up his lips. He told George about back in the day when women still shaved their legs before bearing them to the world. But how Mom used Nair instead; and therefore could easily remove the stubbly hair any time, any where — even once at the drive-in theater. But the funniest time, he said, was when she tried doing it at the beach. While he helped Jacin build a sand castle, Mom sat on a beach towel and smeared Nair along her legs; within seconds she was running and screaming up and down the beach with a swarm of bees circling around her white, foamy legs.
Mom smirked at Dad’s story and retaliated, “Let me tell you an even better story about Dad.”
“Jacin was about 16, I think,” she started. “And one night Dad started having chest pains, and as they worsened we decided we should take him to the hospital.”
Immediately Jacin thought discouragingly, “Another time I don’t remember.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair as Mom continued the story. She said that the doctor told her that he needed a heart stint as soon as possible. After the surgery, the doctor said it went well, but that Dad should lie still for at least two hours, to move as little as possible. However, this was made more difficult since the remote to the television in his room wasn’t working properly, and the channel it was turned on to was fuzzy.
When the doctor finally allowed Jacin and Mom into Dad’s hospital room, after the two-hour period, they had found Dad on his knees on the floor — the opening of his hospital gown revealing his bare butt — wrestling with an octopus of cords, trying to fix the TV.
“After fiddling with all those cords,” Mom continued. “He got up and walked over to the TV, rolling his IV stand with him. “And then, you know Dad’s a fairly short man, and the TV was bolted high on the wall, so he literally started jumping up and down, pushing the channel buttons with his finger.”
Mom and Dad began laughing at the memory, and Mom continued, “And we all just stood there stunned by the fact that two hours ago he had just had heart surgery, and now he was jumping around like a 6-year-old.”
Suddenly, a memory from that day vividly illuminated in Jacin’s mind. He turned to George.
“I’m ready to marry you,” he said behind an enormous smile.
To be continued ...

Never A Dull Moment

2009-06-11T15:09:00.000-07:00

Eddie ordered a coffee, black, that was much too hot to drink right away. When he returned to his private corner in the terminal, an unexpected passenger had taken over his seat. Eddie immediately noticed how handsome the man was as he clicked away on a laptop. Black curls drooped slightly over his eyes, his thick lips pursed in concentration. The man turned his head. Eddie’s eyes darted as if being chased.
“Hello,” said the handsome man in a low, pleasant voice.
“Uh ... hi,” Eddie scrambled for the word.
The man nodded at the seat next to him, “Please, sit!”
Without a word, Eddie sat down, forgetting the bag slung on his shoulder, which knocked the laptop over.
“Oh crap! Sorry,” Eddie apologized.
The man retrieved the computer from the floor. “No harm,” he assured Eddie and smiled at him. “Where are you headed?”
“St. Paul.”
“Really,” said the man with more enthusiasm than Eddie thought necessary. “Flight 642?”
“Uumm ... Yeah I think so,” replied Eddie.
“Me too,” the man’s smile grew wider.
A tinny female voice echoed through the terminal announcing that passengers on Flight 642 to St. Paul with small children or special needs could board the aircraft. Within three minutes, Eddie and his flying companion (whose name Eddie came to learn is Gabe) were walking down the ramp to the plane. The flight was quite light so the pair were able to deviate from their assigned seats and sit next to each other.
During the flight, Eddie was a Chatty Cathy — mostly due to nerves about flying, but also about Gabe — sharing moments from his life with his friends:
How he and Jacin and George and Josh played canasta at least once a week and how each time they played, they’d bicker over the scoring and the rules — it always irks him when the players would advise each other on which cards to play. Why they all enjoy playing canasta no one will ever know — to an outsider it would look similar to a murder of crows pecking at each other until bloody.
About the time they put on a drag show for their other friend Leticia and their drag names were Juicy Fruit (Eddie), Cajin Spice (Jacin), Tipper Whore (George) and Tipsy Turvy (Josh). And how Tipsy closed the show as an eerily-classic Janis Joplin, singing “Me and Bobby McGee” with an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips and brandishing a half empty bottle of vodka.
How he and Jacin had dated for a couple years, but Jacin and George have been together for eight years now. How Jacin was also once married to their friend Jody — many years ago, Jacin had rushed Jody, his then-roommate, to the hospital after she collapsed on the Gallivan Center ice rink, her knee popped out of its socket. At the time Jody didn’t carry health insurance and because of the doctor’s persistent recommendation for surgery she and Jacin agreed to a shotgun City Hall wedding and an update to Jacin’s health insurance policy.
How Josh is currently dating his co-worker’s husband who also happens to have a daughter whom Jacin recently saved from being run down by a Trax train, but unfortunately he had been clipped by it and had spent several days in a coma. Now he has a somewhat mild form of amnesia, but eventually he should get his complete memory back.
How his friend Cameron had a baby about year ago on Halloween and how everyone was at a costume party when she went into labor. In the waiting room of the hospital, people were giving them strange looks — like they didn’t know it was Halloween — as Joe Dirt, a couple of FBI agents, a hippie and two ugly witches played canasta. Cameron and her son Leonard moved to Idaho Falls shortly after the birth.
About the time Jacin and Josh had taken him to Seattle for his 30th birthday to visit their friend Matthew and how he and Jacin got tattoos — he, a inkwell and quill on his right shoulder, and Jacin, a pair of dancing flamingoes in top hats on his lower back. And how six months later Matthew had passed away from AIDS-related complications. He was cremated and returned to Salt Lake City where they scattered his ashes in the Great Salt Lake.
And how he likes to play mind games with himself. Nearly every day on his drive into work he plays a game in which for him to win, he must reach his destination before the song playing on the radio ends. If he loses to himself, he has to pull over and walk the rest of the way; he’s lost the game a few times, but has actually never pulled the car over. And nearly every morning irrational thoughts of the shower curtain being ripped open and him being murdered forces him into speed-showering. On occasion he’s wondered if it’s a rare phobia, a fear of not being squeaky clean upon death.
This last bit of information created an odd expression on Gabe’s face — a cross between fear and humor.
“Sorry, I’m babbling on,” Eddie quickly admitted. “I shouldn’t have shared so much. You probably want to go sit in your assigned seat now.”
Gabe chuckled then said, “No, no. It’s OK. I liked the stories. There’s just never a dull moment in your life is there?”
“I guess not,” Eddie agreed.
A tinny female voice blasted through the cabin, “Please be seated, fasten your seatbelts and put your seats in the upright position, we are making our final descent into St. Paul.”
“Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” Gabe asked.
“Uumm ... sure,” Eddie replied with stunned hesitation.
To be continued ...

The Consequence

2009-05-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

“Will you marry me?” George asked, a tear sliding down his cheek.
Jacin just stared at him in disbelief.
After a moment, George laughed and said, “Come on. Say yes. We’ve already paid for the cabin and we’re allowed to have the ceremony anywhere in Yellowstone we choose.”
Still no response.
George prodded, “Eddie pitched in with me for our honeymoon to Cancun.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” was all Jacin said before leaving the room.
Stunned, George just stared at the now empty chair.
“Uumm ... I’ll go talk to him,” volunteered Josh, finishing off his glass of wine.
Behind the closed bedroom door, Jacin laid on the bed, staring through muddled eyes at the ceiling and absently stroking Freddy Kreuger’s belly, his unique purr crackling loudly.
It had been months since the accident, but Jacin still suffered from the amnesia.
‘There’s too many blanks,’ he explained to himself. ‘I can’t marry George ... not yet, anyway.’ ‘Oh, but I really want to ... I think. There are things I don’t remember about him, I’m sure of it, I can feel it in my gut.’
‘Or am I just being a chicken shit?’
He turned his head to the mirror on the dresser and studied himself for a minute. ‘Yeah, I’m just being a chicken shit.’ He sighed, and a moment later, ‘Damn, my hair looks like crap today.’
A quick succesion of raps on the door sent Freddy Krueger flying across the bed into the blinds. He scrambled to hang on, but as many times before, he slipped and crashed to the floor, then zipped under the bed.
“Come in,” Jacin answered.
Josh opened the door and scanned the room, “What was all that noise?”
“Just Freddy wigging out as usual ... and ruining my damn blinds!” Jacin lifted himself upright and leaned against the headboard, “I thought you were George, but I’m relieved it’s you. I don’t know what to say to him.”
“OK, but do you know why you said no?” Josh closed the door behind him.
“I guess I’m scared, just for the sake of being scared ... mostly I guess,” he explained. “But I also haven’t gotten my life completely back since the accident — I want to feel whole first, you know.”
Though it was rhetorical, Josh replied, “Yeah, I get it.”
“The only thing I know with any certainty is that it was your boyfriend’s daughter I saved that day.”
Taken aback, Josh asked, “How do you know that?”
“I recognized him ... well, remembered him that day the two of you helped my parents move in across the street.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
Jacin considered that for a minute, “I don’t know why. Maybe I was hoping I was wrong.”
Josh sat down at the foot of the bed, guilt washed over him, “There’s something I should tell you.”
“OK.”
“Mark told me all about it ...” he started.
“When?”
“The night he met you.”
Jacin jerked forward, sweeping his legs underneath him, “So you’ve known for like ... two weeks and haven’t said anything.”
Josh scrambled to find the right words, and came up with, “Sorry.”
“That’s it,” Jacin accused with an edge. “That’s all you have to say?” He leapt off the bed and swung the door open. “Get out of my room ... In fact, get out of my house.”
“Fine,” Josh retorted in his usual knee-jerk defensiveness.
Jacin slammed the door behind Josh as he left, then dropped himself down on the bed, buried his face and his hands, and wept.
Some time later — at least an hour Jacin speculated — as the bedroom had turned a tea rose orange from the dying sunlight, he had made a decision: He was moving out, moving across the street with his parents. Just for a while, enough time to recover some memories. Maybe spending more time with his parents would speed up the process.
He pulled an weathered green vinyl suitcase from the closet and began packing clothes. He realized, as he slipped shirts off their hangers, that he had too many earth tone colors.
‘Why don’t I have any blue shirts,’ he asked himself. ‘I look good in blue.’
His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a knock at the door.
It was George, looking hurt.
It pained Jacin seeing George hurt, but not as much as it probably should.
Jacin explained the suitcase full of boring earth tone clothes. George’s eyes widened more in disbelief with each word. Jacin imagined the guinea pig with bugged-out eyes from Bedtime Stories. He was being unnecessarily cruel.
“Sorry, I can’t do this right now,” Jacin stated, then snapped the old suitcase shut. “I’ll see you in a day or two.”
He looked one more time at George, who now appeared to have slipped into a catatonic state.
“I’m just across the street,” Jacin reassured.
With that, he scooted past George and walked out of the house — so quietly George didn’t hear the front door close.
To be continued ...

The Proposal

2009-04-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

Chile skins clung to the sides of the double kitchen sink like little green leeches. Jacin and Jody stood over the sink, latex gloves protecting their hands from capsaicin (the chemical that gives chiles their intensity) as they skinned and seeded fire-roasted habenero, cayenne, anaheim and serrano peppers.
“This is always so time-consuming,” Jody commented as she wrestled with her twentieth pepper.
“I know,” agreed Jacin. “It’s a good thing we only make these enchiladas a couple times a year.”
“Sometimes I could kill Eddie’s mom for introducing us to the recipe.”
They both chuckled.
“I wish Eddie didn’t have to go to St. Paul and miss your anniversary,” said Jody.
“He’s the entertainment director, so now what are we going to do to keep ourselves entertained?” Jacin asked rhetorically.
“I don’t know,” replied Jody. “But let’s have a horp off the vodka bottle.”
“OK.”
Jacin pulled the Grey Goose from the freezer. “I don’t know why we use the word horp,” he commented. “I think it’s slang for shit, or something like that.”
“Really?” Jody asked as she flipped her twenty-first pepper into a bowl.
“I think so,” he replied.
Suddenly, Hansel and Gretel, the dachsunds, started yapping and pounced on the back of the living room couch, rustling the window blinds.
“Ah, our ruthless bodyguards have once again detected danger,” quipped Jacin. “It must be my parents.”
A knock at the front door sent the dogs into a tailspin. “Quiet,” Jacin shouted over the high-octave barking.
He opened the door to his parents. They hugged and exchanged the usual pleasantries — “You look tired honey, are you eating right?”, “You’re dogs are so obnoxious,” “I’m a little constipated today.”
Two hours later Jacin and George’s anniversary dinner was served: stacked green-chili chicken enchiladas with a fried egg on top.
“Here you go, Mom,” said Jacin as he set the hot plate in front of her. “You won’t be constipated much longer.”
“You’ll find out later tonight that ‘fire in the hole’ couldn’t be more accurate,” added George. The entire table roared with laughter.
After dinner, when everybody could once again feel their lips and tongue George made an announcement.
“I’m so glad all of you could join us to celebrate our eighth anniversary,” he started. “It means a great deal to both of us to have each of you in our lives ... to be our family.”
George looked lovingly at Jacin.
“But this is a very special anniversary. One I hope you never forget,” George directed to Jacin with a big smile.
“Jody and Kat,” George then turned to them. “Why don’t you go first.”
“OK,” replied Jody.
She slid a large white envelope out of her purse and handed it to Jacin.
He eagerly tore it open and found a brochure for a place called Grandma’s Cabin in Island Park, Idaho, and a confirmation of a four-night stay.
Astonished, Jacin asked, “You rented us a cabin?”
“Well actually it sleeps 13,” Kat answered. “We’re all going.”
“Wow, really.”
“Yeah, and it’s only about 30 miles outside of Yellowstone,” Kat continued.
“Oh my god, thank you so much,” Jacin said enthusiastically. He looked at George, “Did you know about this?”
“No, I had no idea,” George replied with a sly grin Jacin didn’t notice. “Josh, you’re next.”
Josh also handed Jacin an envelope, but smaller and blue, and said, “This is actually from me and Leticia.”
Jacin ripped into and it and extracted two tickets to the closing night performance of a national tour of Wicked at Capitol Theatre.
“These are for second-row seats,” Jacin said to no one in particular. “On the floor.”
“Leticia and I saw it last night,” Josh said. “It’s fabulous. We decided to get you guys tickets, you’re going to love it.”
“This is too much,” Jacin ordered.
“Trust me, someday we do expect reciprocation of the same caliber,” Leticia joked.
“OK,” George interrupted. “I think your parents have something for you, too.”
Another envelope was given to Jacin. Inside was a ‘Happy Anniversary’ card and inside that was a tailor’s business card. Jacin looked at the card, confusion set in his eyes. He then turned the card over and a handwritten date and time was scribbled on it.
“What is this?” He asked his parents.
“It’s an appointment,” said Jacin’s dad.
His mother added, “For a tux fitting.”
“A tux,” Jacin’s voice trailed off in uncertainty. “Why would you buy me a tuxedo?”
“We bought both of you tuxedos,” said his mother.
Jacin turned to look at George who was again sitting next to him. George’s right elbow was rested on the table and placed in his opened palm was a black velvet box. He slowly opened the box. Nestled in it was a platinum and white gold wedding band.
“Will you marry me?” George asked, a tear sliding down his cheek.
Jacin just stared at him in disbelief.
After a moment, George laughed and said, “Come on. Say yes. We’ve already paid for the cabin and we’re allowed to have the ceremony anywhere in Yellowstone we choose.”
Still no response.
George prodded, “And a honeymoon suite in Cancun.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” was all Jacin said before rushing from the room.
To be continued ...

All About Eddie

2009-03-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

Eddie passed through airport security without much waiting; less the time it took to put his shoes and belt back on and suffer through chastising by a short, plump female guard for packing cuticle scissors in his carry-on bag. He paid little attention to her scolding, rather wondering what, if anything, she could do physically in the event of a real threat. Her flushed face and haggard breathing seemed a major hindrance should she need to take down a terrorist.
“You could mail these back to yourself or I could throw them away,” the guard said in a heavy-smokers voice.
A patronizing smile came over Eddie, “No, throw them away.”
Eddie’s neurotic need to be early for every scheduled part of his life — an oddity since he’s incredibly impatient — now stranded him at the departure gate 45 minutes before his flight.
He found a quiet corner to catch up on some work, but quickly reconsidered. This was to be his third business trip to St. Paul overseeing the opening of a new retail outlet for fine home décor and jewelry of the Southwest, and it was becoming more of a headache than Eddie could stand. Instead he withdrew comedian Bob Smith’s novel Selfish & Perverse from his bag and flipped it open to Chapter Four.
Eddie was enjoying the read; he especially liked the main character, Nelson, with whom he relates. They’re both Capricorns, sharing traits of lechery, shyness and clumsiness.
As he read, his mind absently drifted to when he was a child growing up in Texas, and how he had an overt tendency to cause injury upon himself. In his fourth grade classroom a loose desktop slipped out of place when he put his weight on it, causing him to fall neck first into the metal bracket of the desk. Luckily, it wasn’t very sharp and the injury required minimal stitching.
Once, when he was 10 years old, and with great sportsman-like skill, he hit himself in the mouth while practice-swinging a baseball bat, breaking a tooth. And at the age of 15, there was the day he thought it would be fun to race his bicycle against an oncoming car, down a steep road, only to painfully lose when his foot slipped from the peddle and twisted under the back tire, fracturing his ankle. Unfortunately for Eddie, the driver of the car merely swerved around him and his mangled bike to win the race.
In the terminal, Eddie smiled to himself, realizing his apparent need-for-speed was still with him to this day. His friends find his driving too aggressive and his constant cursing at other motorists extremely tense.
Again he reflected, pondering about an unusual need to play games with himself. Nearly every day on his drive into work he plays a game in which for him to win, he must reach his destination before the song playing on the radio ends. If he loses to himself, he has to pull over and walk the rest of the way; he’s lost the game a few times, but has actually never pulled the car over.
And nearly every morning irrational thoughts of the shower curtain being ripped open by a murdering pyschopath forces Eddie into speed-showering. Eddie’s wondered on occasion if it’s a rare phobia, a fear of not being squeaky clean upon death.
Unable to concentrate, he marked the page he was on, slipped the book back into the luggage and decided to get a cup of coffee. On his way to the small deli in the terminal, he wondered if his idiosyncrasies stemmed from his upbringing.
Could it have started when his mother insisted that he sweep away the roller marks from the carpet after vacuuming? Could it have manifested when he was 7, and his father left him and his little sister in the truck for more than an hour while he drank beer with his golfing buddies in the country club lounge? Could it have happened when, at 11, an older kid at school named Dick — whom, Eddie realized a few years later, he had a major crush on — pressured him into having a dip of chewing tobacco? Eddie had accidentally swallowed it, threw up, and then fainted from light-headedness.
Eddie ordered a coffee, black, that was much too hot to drink right away. When he returned to his private corner in the terminal, an unexpected passenger had taken over his seat. Eddie immediately noticed how handsome the man was as he clicked away on a laptop. Black curls drooped slightly over his eyes, his thick lips pursed in concentration. The man turned his head. Eddie’s eyes darted as if being chased.
“Hello,” said the handsome man in a low pleasant voice.
“Uh ... hi,” Eddie scrambled for the word.
The man nodded at the seat next to him, “Please, sit!”
Without a word, Eddie sat down, forgetting the bag slung on his shoulder, which knocked the laptop over.
“Oh crap! Sorry,” Eddie apologized.
The man retrieved the computer from the floor. “No harm,” he assured Eddie and smiled at him. “Where are you headed?”
“St. Paul.”
“Really,” said the man with more enthusiasm than Eddie thought necessary. “Flight 642?”
“Uumm ... Yeah I think so,” replied Eddie.
“Me too,” the man’s smile grew wider.
To be continued ...

Won't You Be My Neighbor

2009-02-19T12:50:00.000-08:00

Heavy rain pounded the roof and slapped the bedroom windows, which cured another night of insomnia. Jacin fell into a deep sleep similar to when he had is accident several weeks ago.
Jacin is at The Trapp with some friends and a woman he doesn’t know, but that Josh calls Keri. She removes a photograph from her wallet and passes it around. When it makes its way to Jacin, he sees a photo of a young, conservatively dressed man with black wavy hair and shocking green eyes. The strange woman says to the group, "Mark’s a good husband and father…"
Suddenly Jacin’s laying face up on cold concrete, pain searing through his body. He just makes out the same man in the photo standing over him, his eyes now more shocked than shocking, and cradling a small girl with velvety blonde curls – the same girl Jacin just risked his life to saving.
This January marked a change in Utah weather: more precipitation but less snowfall, which led to more days of inversion hovering over valley floors like dirty tube socks.
This, coupled with asthma, prohibited Jacin’s father from being outdoors helping move in boxes and furniture.
Jacin’s father’s built slight, but could hold his own with a pissed-off moose. He used to be one of those gun-totting, Skoal-chewing, narrow-minded types. But when his son’s relationship with George only continued to grow in love, support and security, and because he truly felt George was good guy, he eventually came to terms with Jacin’s homosexuality.
Jacin was thrilled by the change in his father, and over the last few years they’ve bonded more than Jacin would ever have imagined.
But today, this cruddy air-filled winter day, Jacin felt that their bond may have become too tight. From this day forward, he will always notice the little brown-brick duplex through his large living room window. And from this day on Jacin will always be reminded that inside one-half of the little brown-brick duplex — just four doors east of his home — his parents lived. Within a 53-second walk. He checked.
He stood looking out the living room window, his right knee throbbing, and he watched George, Josh and Mark schlep box after box through the west side duplex’s front door, the side closest to his own front door.
On the small square porch stood Jacin’s mother, also slight in stature; yet could easily turn a man to stone with just one look.
Jacin had weathered that look countless times, especially as a child. He and his twin brother Jeff used to cause all sorts of mischief in the neighborhood by pulling pranks, not only on other kids, but on their parents, too.
One evening the twins conspired against their mom after she made them sit at the dinner table until they ate all the nasty chick peas off their plates. (Funny how Jacin grew to love them.) They eventually made it through, but immediately raced to the bathroom to purge, so to speak. While bent over the toilet bowl, Jacin noticed his mom’s Prell shampoo bottle. He sneaked it into his and Jeff’s bedroom and filled it with blue paint from the model World War Two fighter plane his dad had given him last Christmas. He had yet to build the model plane, but was certain he never would, so he used the whole canister of paint.
The next morning, from the bathroom came the Screech Heard Round the World. Unfortunately for Jacin and Jeff they were forced upright the rest of the day from the lashings they received from their mom who used the belt they gave their dad last Christmas. Mom blamed Jeff, which was usually the case, so Jeff received the brunt of the belt, fifteen lashings, while Jacin had to withstand only five.
Jeff has always held true that Jacin is the favorite son because he was the first born, by a mere seven minutes. And Jacin has never voiced his agreement to Jeff.
Their dad arrived home that night to find Mom with a boyish haircut and a soft blue hue to it. Being a prankster himself, he couldn’t help but laugh when she told him what had happened. Years ago, just after they were married, they went fishing on Strawberry reservoir. Actually Jacin’s dad fished and his mom sunbathed. Jacin’s dad finally caught a fish after several hours. His mom paid no attention to his dad’s enthusiasm, so he sneaked up behind her beach chair and dropped the small slimy fish down the front of her swimsuit. Jacin had always wondered if this was why he and his brother weren’t conceived until nearly a year after his parents married.
Jacin watched George, Josh and Mark finish unpacking the moving truck and then walk the 53 seconds back to the house. He looked at George and smiled, feeling the butterflies in his stomach even after all these years together.
Then he focused in on Mark. Jacin, having never met Mark, felt like he’d seen him somewhere before, but couldn’t remember with any certainty. The trio strolled through the front door, welcomed by the dachsunds Hansel and Gretel.
"Hey Jacin," said Josh. "This is Mark, the guy I’ve been telling you about."
Jacin felt a strange sensation, like déjà vu, when he finally had a good look at Mark, but he couldn’t figure out why. And when they shook hands, Jacin could feel the tension in Mark’s grip.
"It’s nice to meet you," offered Jacin.
Mark hesitated and had an expression of sinking in quicksand. He couldn’t believe he was standing in front of the man who saved his little girl.

Last Dance Part 2

2009-01-22T12:48:00.000-08:00

It was eight minutes to the New Year, January 1, 2000, or commonly referred to as Y2K. Owen had easily reeled in the short, shirtless black boy and had spent most of the time dancing with him. Through the foggy dance floor, their sweaty bodies nearly touching, one could almost see the current of electricity ricocheting off their naked skin.
Jacin, Eddie and Matthew sat at a tall bar table just off the dance floor, plastic champagne flutes in hand readying for the countdown. Josh was off flirting with random guys, which seemed only to annoy Matthew a small amount. Of course, it had been a year since they had broken up. However, Jacin did notice a flash of jealously in Matthew’s eyes, or maybe it was angered defeat.
Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!
Cheers and kisses were exchanged between hundreds of gay men, most of whom would never share the moment again, including Owen and his mysterious partner — they locked lips, smiled and walked away from each other as if they’re only purpose for each other in the two hours was to have someone to kiss on New Year’s Day. They didn’t even bother exchanging names.
Once the group reeled in Josh, which took nearly half an hour of swimming through a sea of hard-bodied men, they shoved off to The Cuff. As soon as they stepped out of Neighbours, the plummeting temperature cooled their overheated bodies. Along the way they ran into five young men wearing black berets and white sweatshirts emblazoned with ‘Safety Patrol.’ They were volunteers from local schools whose aim was to keep the streets safe for the party-goers.
After spending just enough time in The Cuff for Owen to meet a tall lumberjack-type guy, they decided to go to a bathhouse suggested by Owen’s next prey, Mr. Bunyan. The bathhouse was located on a dark deserted street. Mr. Bunyan pushed open the weathered wood door. There was a long, empty corridor and a barred window was cut out of the wall just to the right of the entrance. A plywood slider door behind the bars slid open and revealed a blond, burly man with an unkempt handlebar mustache. He immediately demanded twenty-five dollars per person to enter. Paul Bunyan whipped out his cash, but Owen complained about the fee. The ornery doorman abruptly slid the slider shut without another word, and Mr. Bunyan gave Owen a "too bad, so sad" look and swaggered down the corridor. Peeved, Owen promptly unzipped his patent leather pants and urinated in the hallway.
After waiting forty-five minutes for the ferry in the frigid night air, the gang finally arrived at Matthew’s house. Owen, drunk and still upset about the bathhouse, adamantly refused to spend another night on the lumpy sofa sleeper and crawled into bed with Matthew.
The following afternoon, the gray sky lingered with scattered patches of blue. Matthew had been awake for a while since he hadn’t drunk much the night before — his body wouldn’t allow it. But once bored he woke everyone else with two Midol and a glass of water.
Matthew suggested they spend the day in Port Townsend. When each had showered and finished complaining about their hangovers, they piled into Matthew’s pickup truck. Jacin and Eddie were forced to sit in the covered bed of the truck where they cuddled underneath a mound of blankets. Not much was said in the truck or on the ferry until they reached Port Townsend, a quiet, sleepy tourist town on the Olympic Peninsula, and inhabited by many writers, musicians and artists.
The group strolled through the quaint boutiques, art galleries and antique shops that line the waterfront.
After lunch Jacin and Eddie decided to stroll along the beach while the rest returned to shopping. Jacin and Eddie walked precariously hand-in-hand through the thick sand. Then they came upon a message that had been carved into the sand fifteen yards twofold. It read:
JAKE MORGAN HAPPY BIRTHDAYMIKE 51 MIKEY PINDER AND JARON
Having just celebrated a birthday the day before, Eddie became overwhelmed with emotion. Sensing some type of loss from the message, or maybe it was intense love, Eddie suddenly felt thankful to Josh, Owen, Matthew and especially Jacin for their friendship and love. Turning thirty years old, experiencing that exact moment on the beach and what would happen in the very near future became pivotal turning points in Eddie’s life.
Jacin and Eddie returned to the truck to find Josh and Owen in a heated argument. Matthew was inside the cab with music blaring and smoking a cigarette. Josh noticed them approaching and immediately cut the argument off.
Six months later Josh received a phone call from Matthew’s aunt Mavis. Matthew had just passed away from AIDS-related complications. Matthew would be cremated and returned to Salt Lake City. Matthew’s wish was to have Josh scatter his ashes in the Great Salt Lake.
The day Josh took Matthew to the lake the air was warm and breezy. He stood angle-deep in the water, removed the top of the urn and tipped it at an angle. The breeze picked Matthew up and he openly danced over the lake.

Last Dance, Part 1

2008-12-18T12:42:00.000-08:00

Though Josh and Matthew had broken up shortly after last summer’s Pride weekend, and Matthew had sped off to Bremerton, Washington without so much as proper notification, he and Josh had stayed in contact. Josh understood Matthew’s reasons for moving away and, in his heart, he could not stay angry. And though he desperately needed to talk to his friends about it, he promised Matthew to keep it between them.
Josh, Jacin, Eddie and Owen had flown into Seattle the Monday before New Year’s Eve 1999, the eve of the new millennium — at least in the eyes of technology. That day the sun was uncharacteristically shining bright and had returned throughout much of the week, which was also an anomaly. However, a coat and hat were still necessary to deflect the icy chill in the air.
The group of friends enjoyed the radiant sun by touring the Bremerton Naval yard, visiting Mt. Rainier National Park and, on the day before New Year’s Eve, taking a ferry across Puget Sound to Seattle. They strolled through Pike Place Market where muscular fishmongers in bulky chest waders tossed large fish to each other. And after perusing the quaint shops and the handmade crafts of local artists they moved on to the Capitol Hill area. Rainbow flags on storefronts waved to them as they window-shopped through Pike and Pine Streets to Broadway Avenue.
On a whim as they passed a tattoo parlor/gift shop, Owen suggested they each get a tattoo. After some prodding, Jacin agreed and offered to pay for Eddie’s as a birthday present. Josh and Matthew adamantly refused, but the other three stepped inside the small shop called Pink Zone. The heavily tattooed artist greeted the trio with caution. She took them through a screening process — it was so damn professional — making sure they were neither drunk nor high. She quizzed them with intensity, feeling them out — Eddie thought to himself, there’s nothing worse than permanently altering a tourist’s body, especially one from Utah, and then having him forever regret it. Once she was satisfied that each of them was completely committed and that each had chosen a personal and creative canvas — not a gecko or a heart with ‘MOM’ written across it – she went to work.
Just over three hours later Jacin stepped out of the shop with a pair of dancing flamingoes in top hats on his lower back, followed by Jacin stamped with a quill and inkwell on his right shoulder. Behind them Owen limped from pouty red lips needled into his right butt cheek.
They headed back to Pine Street to meet Josh and Matthew at the Manray, an intimate oval-shaped bar that, on the inside, looked like a submarine, with porthole video screens and a periscope bar centered in the room. Josh and Matthew were sitting at a small white table in the back getting smashed on martinis served in bathtub-sized glasses.
The next morning, New Year’s Eve day (and Eddie’s thirtieth birthday), was once again ablaze with sunshine. Owen was the first to rise, as was typical, since he found Matthew’s sofa bed extremely uncomfortable. He went into the kitchen, the hardwood floors of the weathered old rental house creaking under his feet. He whipped up some breakfast: scrambled eggs with peppers and onions, bacon and what he calls flapjacks.
By mid afternoon the blue sky had turned grey and lumpy. Sitting around the laminate kitchen table — an array of fowl feathers and beads and glitter scattered across it — the quintet worked silently in concentration, less the occasional "Anyone need another beer while I’m up?" They had decided earlier in the week to make Mardi Gras masks to wear for the evening’s festivities.
By seven o’clock they had had manicotti (Eddie’s favorite) for dinner and each were dressed warmly in gray and black. Owen and Matthew opted to wear black patent leather pants while Jacin, Josh and Eddie went more formal with dress slacks. Under their masks, just like in the movies, they were unrecognizable. They had a laugh about it.
Initially, they had hoped to attend the New Year’s Eve party at the Space Needle, but an unconfirmed terrorist threat forced the city to cancel it. So of course plan B was bar-hopping; hitting R Place first — an upscale, three-floor bar catering to thirtysomething professionals. Then they’d wander over to Neighbours, a gay disco, and dance there until midnight, then finish off the night at The Cuff, a a cement wall grunge bar frequented by leather daddies.
Only a couple dozen other partygoers were mingling about, the group noticed, when they entered R Place and ordered drinks from the unharried bartender. Their masks prompted a few smirks by the preppy crowd. Realizing this was not really the scene they were after, they shoved off.
Neighbours was busy when they entered it a little after nine o’clock. A flock of shirtless young guys swept across the large dance floor to Donna Summers’ "Last Dance," which Jacin commented seemed a bit premature. Owen scanned the floor and immediately picked out his prey, a short shirtless black boy with a sinewy body so tight Owen could make out his obliques trailing off under the waistband of his pants. Without a word Owen disappeared into the fog.

Before He Sleeps

2008-11-20T15:32:00.000-08:00

It had been nine days since Jacin’s accident. Four of which he spent in a coma and his family and friends spent in a state of despair. When Jacin finally opened his eyes on the evening of the fourth day, his lover George and his parents were placed in his room in different shapes of foreboding: George in a chair, head back and, as Jacin could only assume, counting the holes in the ceiling; Mom sat huddled in a small couch — she seemed to be shrinking into it — and was absently flipping through a Time magazine; and Dad was asleep next to Mom on the couch, a small percussion reverberating from his throat.
Jacin knew he was in a hospital, he just couldn’t remember why or how he arrived there. The more he tried, the more agitated he became. He tried to get someone’s attention, but his mouth felt desert dry and he couldn’t speak. He lifted his arm, which was like lifting a concrete block, and wiggled his fingers until George either finally noticed him or lost count of the holes.
Doctors were immediately called in, and after asking Jacin what he remembered about the accident (which was nothing), they randomly took turns explaining that he was suffering from a form of amnesia that affects both pre- and post-injury memories. Their consoling-covered condescending tones infuriated Jacin.
He just wanted to remember something, anything. Not knowing what happened scared him more than what actually did.
Now home after a couple more days of observation in the hospital — a home barely recognizable — a nauseous fear encumbered Jacin.
He remembers their pet dachshunds and their cat Freddy Kreuger, but not his breed. He remembers the African art decorating the living room, but while looking at it, doesn’t remember why he likes it. He remembers his and George’s bed, but not on what side he prefers to sleep.
These disparaging uncertainties and others compounded by absolutely no memory of the accident and the events leading up to it left Jacin in a near-constant state of depression he assumed (or maybe it was the Oxycodone, which was also making his skin itch as if it was prescription poison ivy). He felt as if he were floating aimless several feet off the ground, detached from the world as it moved along through its daily grind, unnoticed and forgotten even though he was getting more attention than bald Britney Spears.
The front door of their home had been like a revolving door occupied by a handful of unruly six-year-olds for several days. Family and friends brought home-baked cranberry-zucchini bread, flower bouquets, houseplants and a more recreational type of greenery (yet another source of confusion for Jacin). They’d come in with oversized smiles and deep concern emanating from saddened eyes. They’d parrot "how are you feeling?" and "can I do something for you?" day in, day out. They’d offer words of encouragement, push old photographs in his face, tell wild stories of past improprieties they shared.
It was insufferable and made Jacin’s aching bandaged head throb like boiling water.
By the end of the third day home, the commotion had settled to a dull hum, much like the feeling in his right leg. Three pins were surgically inserted to hold together his fractured kneecap and an immobilizer was to be worn 24 hours a day so as not to bend the knee.
The pain was unbearable. The pain made him cry sometimes ... really, most of the time. Sometimes he’d cry so hard his body convulsed a little bit.
Jacin looked at George sitting on the bed next to him (the right side, Jacin realized) watching another compelling Divorce Court.
"Take me there," Jacin finally decided.
"What ... where?" George asked.
"To the Trax station where it happened."
Shaking his head, "No, no. I don’t think that’s a good idea."
"Besides," George continued. "Your parents are coming by soon."
"Then tomorrow," Jacin insisted.
The next morning, after a grueling walk to the truck, George drove them to the 21st South Trax station. Obviously for a Sunday there were just a half dozen people waiting on the platform.
"Anything?" George asked after a couple of minutes.
Tears slid down Jacin’s cheeks. A whisper, "No, nothing."
That night at a quarter past midnight, Jacin’s suddenly in a bar, in the middle of the day, with some friends and a woman he doesn’t know, but whom Josh calls Keri. She removes a photograph from her wallet and passes it around. When it makes its way to Jacin, he sees a photo of a young, conservatively dressed man with black wavy hair and shocking green eyes. The strange woman says to the group, "Mark’s a good husband and father ..."
Suddenly Jacin’s laying face up on cold concrete, pain searing through his body. He just makes out the same man from the photo standing over him, his eyes now more shocked than shocking, and cradling a small girl with velvety blonde curls – the same girl Jacin just risked his life to save.
To be continued …

Leonard's Bets

2008-10-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Velvety blonde locks sprung from her head like an old box spring. She was curled in her father’s arms, resting her head on his shoulder. Dried tears crusted her plump pinkish cheeks, which illuminated red by the blinking ambulance lights.
It was Halloween night 2005.
Leticia’s Trooper zipped along Sixth Avenue toward LDS Hospital.
"Watch out!" shouted Eddie, sitting in the front passenger seat. A trickle of trick-or-treaters were crossing the street pulling a Radio Flyer wagon. Leticia swerved to miss them and blew a tire when the SUV slammed into the curb.
Cameron leaned tensely against George’s chest, her legs sprawled eagle in the cargo space. The jolt of hitting the curb started another contraction, which were occurring more often.
"Oh god, we have to get to the hospital now!" Cameron hissed through gritted teeth.
"Hold on baby," Eddie encouraged her. "I have an idea."
He jumped out of the Trooper, demanding — but also frightening — the young trick-or-treaters give him their wagon.
"Look," Eddie said unclipping the identification card from his lapel, handing it to a pint-size Jack Sparrow pulling the wagon. "My name is Fox Mulder. I’m an FBI agent and I need your wagon to get to the hospital now."
"It doesn’t really look like you," said the pirate. "And why’s your shirt undone?"
"Listen kid," Eddie retorted. "If we don’t have the key, we can’t open whatever we don’t have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don’t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?"
Expressed with utter confusion, Sparrow asked, "What?"
"Not exactly egregious like the real Jack Sparrow, are you kid?" Eddie snatched his identification back, cleared the contents from the wagon and strode off with it.
The trick-or-treaters stood awestruck, watching the rude FBI agent, a couple of witches and a hippie load a very fat, bloodied, zombie-cheerleader into the wagon and then disappear into the dark.
When they pulled Cameron through the Emergency entrance of the hospital fifteen minutes later, the enigmatic agent Dana Scully was in mothering mode.
"Eddie," she started. "Where have you been, we all left the house twenty minutes ago? Why is Cameron in a wagon?"
"We blew a tire Jody," Eddie answered. "I confiscated this wagon from trick-or-treaters so she wouldn’t have to walk all the way here."
"Well why didn’t you call me?" she asked.
"None of us brought our phone."
"Nobody thought to bring their phone?" she then asked more irritably.
The witches, Jacin and George, and Leticia, the hippie, shook their heads.
"I hate to be a bother," Cameron interrupted as she struggled to pull herself out of the wagon. "But if you all don’t mind, I need to get my legs up in stirrups and pop this kid out."
Shortly before midnight, the doctor entered the waiting room. Eddie, Jody, Jacin and George were playing canasta. Leticia was reading A Million Little Pieces, an Oprah’s Book Club selection, which she would soon regret taking the time to read. Josh slept upright in a chair, drooling on his Joe Dirt wig that had slipped askew.
"Excuse me everyone," the doctor interrupted.
Leticia elbowed Josh awake.
"She had a healthy baby boy," informed the handsome doctor. "They’re both doing very well."
"Yes! I won," stated Joe Dirt excitedly, throwing his arms up in victory.
The next afternoon, Jacin, George, Josh and Eddie returned to the hospital to visit mother and son. They first stopped in at the hospital gift shop and after much consideration bought the baby a purple plush monkey and the mother, a bouquet of pink roses.
They stepped out of the elevator on the fourth floor, signed in at the desk and were directed to Cameron’s room. Jacin slowly pushed the door open and they quietly walked into the room. Cameron, looking pale and tired, was in the bed holding her sleeping child.
"Hi," Cameron whispered.
Her friends congregated around the bed and turned all gooey over the baby.
"Have you thought of a name?" asked Eddie as he peered at the pimply-faced baby.
"Leonard Jefferson Berner."
They all exchanged a look of bewilderment. Then Josh said, "Well, at least I won the other three."
"Won what?" Cameron asked.
"Oh, well we took bets on the date and time of the birth and the sex and name of the baby," admitted Josh. "And I got all of them right but the name."
"You bet on my baby?" Cameron asked exasperated.
"Yeah we did," George said, handing an envelope to her. "Earlier today we opened a savings account for Leo’s education with the money. This is the account information, which is under your name."
"Leonard," Cameron corrected, taking the envelope. "But that’s so sweet of you guys," she continued with a smile.
"So does the father know you had the baby?" asked George.
"My mom called him last night," she replied, then hesitated. "Listen. There’s something I need to tell all of you. I’ve decided to move to Idaho Falls so Leonard can be near his father."
"What … no way!" exclaimed George.
"I know you don’t approve of Heath, but Leonard needs his father and I don’t want to raise him alone." Cameron stated.
George huffed and stormed out of the room.
To be continued …

Our Phoenix

2008-09-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

Jacin watched George approach him on the Trax platform, a large smile gleaming. He held his arms out ready to hug George, and as they connected George evaporated – a chilling mist engulfed Jacin and his heart plummeted. He pivoted left to right searching for George, then realized the platform was completely empty of passengers and the night air dead silent. Fear overtook him, and as he started to run, he realized he was inside a large, transparent gerbil’s runabout ball. It rolled off the platform and continued rolling along the track until it dropped into an endless green sea.
The sun roared into being and beat down on Jacin, warming the trail of blood trickling from his right temple. Standing barefoot and motionless on the desert floor he stared across a valley of Pinions, the occasional apex of a cabin peeking over the trees.
Silently from behind knotted trunks — like skilled hunters — emerged George, Eddie, Josh, Leticia, Kat and Jody, each in the nude. They grouped and gingerly approached Jacin. Through his peripheral vision, Jacin picked up knee-high black patent stiletto boots filled with a woman’s legs that led to a black patent mini skirt, bare navel and black patent bustier. The full body materialized into pop diva Rihanna. She was holding a large cardboard Publisher’s Clearing House check made out to Jacin Reese in the amount of two million dollars, and was singing an operatic version of "Disturbia." Jacin’s friends, mud swallows, hummingbirds, jack rabbits and mule deer gathered around Rihanna and joined in verse like seen in a Disney film.
Shimmering in a gold leotard, Jacin was being whipped around on Lagoon’s Wicked ride, his head painfully vibrating against the back of the seat. Around and around the ride took him, never-ending, ad nauseam. In the third rotation the vehicle jerked to a halt 70 feet up the 110-foot tower. Jacin peeled open his eyes focusing in on the slate blue sky. From deep within the flat, lingering clouds — looking down at him like mythological gods — were his mother, father and twin brother Jeff. They were whispering to each other, but Jacin could not hear nor understand what was being said.
But what he could hear in the distance was a faint humming, and several seconds later a yellow and red PT-17 Stearman biplane came into view. The pilot — clad in a brown bomber jacket and matching flying cap, goggles and white silk flying scarf — waved at him as he flew overhead. Jacin then realized it was Eddie, and in the seat behind him sat Snoopy, dressed similarly and flashing a MetLife flag. Puffs of smoke billowed from the rear of the plane forming a message. When Jacin read the first few words, he recognized it as a poem that Eddie had written for him several years ago while dating. The sky read:
Reborn again our Phoenix has risen in Magnificent design;
His envious idealism
Color his feathers in boundless elegance.
His wicked eyes
Emulate a renewed youthful humor.
His beak conspicuous,
Yet earnest in character.
This renowned being, unwavering in conviction
Is embodied in the souls passed flight over.
And each year and decade to come,
With each immolation, our Phoenix will rise
Stronger and more beautiful in our eyes.
And in centuries to pass, long after we are gone
Our Phoenix will be reborn in the generations of our kin.
Jacin’s eyes filled with emotion, forcing him to blink — pushing a tear out and rolling off his cheek. The god-like image of his mother reformed, but this time he could hear her say, "He’s crying."
Then Jacin’s chest turned heavy and his body temperature increased to a prickly warm. The bar that restrained him in the vehicle suddenly unlatched. His body, weightless and hot, floated upward. Frightened and uncomfortable, he flailed for something concrete.
From the distance a fiery mass, like a meteor, plummeted towards him. But instead of annihilating him, it enveloped him like a blanket. Jacin suddenly felt safe, revitalized and at peace inside the magenta, gold and red flames. Like a movie trailer of his life, he could clearly see himself and George being legally married in Utah, then a black man in the Oval Office, then himself in New York City taking photos of the Freedom Tower and oddly, then himself accepting a check for an undisclosed amount from Rihanna.
To be continued...

10 Minutes

2008-08-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

Jacin was completely unaware of how fate would step in this day and forever change his life. When he strolled out of the dark, smoke-filled bar, he was thrilled about what was held in his hand. He noticed the air was fresher than he could remember in many weeks, which elated him even more.
He once again glanced over the divorce documents that Jody had just served on him. Soon he would hand them over to George at the Trax station, hoping they would spark many days of lost conversation and intimacy.
Back inside the bar spirits were also high, though more because of the magnitude of the spirits being drank by Jody, Kat, Josh and Eddie. On the other hand, learning he had made friends with his boyfriend’s wife put Josh well into an intoxicated state that his friends amicably call "doing the T. rex" — bounding heavy-footed through the bar, arms pulled in and dangling close to his chest, and ranting incoherently to anyone who’d try to listen. On more than one occasion this behavior led to speed-dialing Taxi Jerry, the good-humored, photo-snapping taxi driver who catered to the community. (You never step out of Taxi Jerry’s cab without at least two incriminating photos of you licking someone’s face, smoking three cigarettes at once or flashing the taxi next to you at a red light.)
Fearing further embarrassment by Josh, Eddie called Taxi Jerry. Luckily, it was still early enough in the evening that Taxi Jerry wasn’t backed up with calls, and he told Eddie he’d be at the bar in 10 minutes. The trio rounded up Josh and made it out of the bar with very few more casualties.
When Taxi Jerry’s plum-colored cab pulled up to the curb, the foursome packed into the backseat like sardines, instructing their typical after-bar stop at Beto’s Mexican restaurant for nachos, smothered burritos and horchata.
Jacin glanced at his watch, finding that the train was now 10 minutes late. This coupled with the seemingly unattended toddler running amuck on the Trax platform was now diminishing his spirit. He shifted himself on the bench, closed his eyes and pictured a romantic and intimate rest of the night with George. Suddenly he felt a light pressure on his legs, much like when his Maine Coon cat Freddy Kreuger jumps in his lap. The young girl that was bouncing about the platform was now draped over his legs, a huge smile shining around her two front teeth.
Her arm was extended, offering Jacin what looked like a chewing gum wrapper.
"Thank you," he said taking the gift, a bit annoyed that whomever the girl’s parents were, they should be smacked upside the head with a dipshit stick for allowing her to interact with strangers.
The little girl quickly dropped off his lap and ran off in search of more Pearls of Refuse.
Just as Jacin drifted back to thoughts of George, he heard the train approaching like an arrow through trees. He opened his eyes, checked his watch again: 8:52 p.m. He looked down the track and noticed the young girl playing dangerously close to the edge of the platform. He jumped out of his seat after her.
The time was 8:52 p.m. according to the digital clock built into the dash of George’s pickup truck. He’d been waiting for Jacin for over 15 minutes, and hadn’t even seen a southbound train the entire time.
He called Jacin’s cell phone.
Straight to voice mail.
Though George felt angry, his stomach suddenly contracted like being jerked awake by a nightmare. Fearing the worst, he started the truck and squealed out of the parking lot headed for the station he assumed Jacin would have gotten on the train.
When George approached the station, he noticed some commotion, several people huddled in a group. He slammed the truck into park and barreled out of it. He could hear a small child wailing as he neared the platform, and through the interval spacing of the crowd of people, he could see the body of a man lying motionless on the concrete surrounded by a smattering of paper.
To be continued…

A Hairy Situation

2008-07-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

Josh’s career as a corporate wet rag took its daily toll on his fragile psyche, which usually led to several missed workdays a month. On the extra trying days, his mind swimming in regret, he’d reflect on younger times when he believed he would be the next Tom Cruise. Images of afternoons spent in his bedroom practicing dance moves in white briefs and a dress shirt or mimicking Maverick’s badass personae in Top Gun: "You don’t have time to think up there. If you think, you’re dead," reeled a dream far left behind.
Somewhere along the way, life turned on him and now his career was that of a thrill-less number-cruncher. Many a day he’d sit through hours of mindless meetings, unwarranted tirades from superiors and varying levels of contempt for the hoards of overweight coworkers with whiney attitudes, surly expressions and a 42-ounce Diet Coke clutched in hand.
Today, it made Josh cringe, forcing a desire to slap the ignorance out of every single one of them.
He desperately needed a drink.
The one person at work Josh could stand was Keri, a recent hire, whose laugh caused contagion and whose body, Josh believed, was that of a 12-year-old Dolly Parton.
They hit it off on Keri’s first day of work when she intuitively asked Josh if he had a boyfriend.
"Ummm ... no, not really," he replied. "I mean I’m sort of seeing someone, but it’s sort of complicated."
Nodding, Keri said, "Yeah, I get it. My husband’s a bit puzzling at times."
"How long have you been married?"
"Two years, three months, six days."
"That’s real specific."
"Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but sometimes he’s such a girl."
"Ah, a feminist are you?" Josh asked.
"Hell, I smoke cigars," Keri replied, a devilish smile on her face.
Josh sneaked up behind Keri at her desk, sucked his forefinger and stuck it in her ear.
"Aaagh ... don’t give me a wet willy, who knows were that finger’s been," she lightly demanded, drying out her ear.
"Let’s blow this Shallow Hal convention and grab a drink somewhere," Josh said.
"Not exactly a humanitarian are you?"
"Please, I steal candy from babies."
They ended up at The Trapp, a gay watering hole with a loyal late-morning clientele ... or maybe they just wake up on their barstool each morning with a cricked neck and a parched mouth.
Josh sometimes wondered if the rickety, weathered-wood structure that housed the wake-n-tank crowd could withstand an earthquake or a tornado, if another ever hit the city. It would be a real shame to lose another gay bar at the hands of the homosexuals’ venial and mortal sins.
Josh ordered a Bud Light from the boisterous bartender and asked Keri what she wanted.
"I’ll have a whiskey and coke," her reply aimed at the bartender.
"Damn, you got hair on your chest or something?" asked Josh.
"Probably less than you have on your ass," Keri retorted.
"Actually my friend, Eddie, is the one with a hair diaper."
"Nice visual, thanks. Is he your complicated someone?"
As they approached the doors to the patio, Josh noticed Eddie, Jacin, Kat and Jody through the ceiling-to-floor window.
"Well, why don’t you ask him yourself," he said pointing outside. "That’s him right there."
High octave chatter erupted as Josh opened the door to the patio. They approached the table; empty shot glasses — like chess pieces — were strategically placed. The overflowing plastic ashtray confirmed Josh’s suspicion they had been there awhile.
Jacin was the first to notice them and jumped out of his chair. Then in unison, Eddie, Kat and Jody ejected themselves from their seats, extremely spirited, as if they hadn’t seen Josh in years. They each offered overzealous hugs and sloppy kisses to Keri, as if they had known her for years.
Two more chairs were pulled up to the table, another round of Washington Apples ordered and the interrogation by Josh’s friends commenced: from "Are you Mormon?" to "Are those your real tits?" to everything in-between.
When asked about her husband, Keri dug into her purse, pulled out a wallet and flipped through some photos.
"This is him, my husband Mark," she indicated by tapping the photo and passed the wallet to Jacin.
When it made its way around the table to Josh, he immediately recognized the handsome man in the photo. His eyes pulled to the familiar cleft chin that he’s kissed and licked many, many times.
"Josh, are you okay," asked Eddie. "You’re looking paler than usual all of a sudden."
"Ummm ... yeah, fine," he quietly answered, handing the wallet back to Keri, unable to look her in the eyes. "I need to go to the bathroom, buddy system?"
"Sure," Eddie replied.
They had barely gotten over the threshold from patio to bar when Josh blurted out, "Keri’s husband is the guy I’ve been dating."
Eddie stopped Josh by grabbing his arm, looked him in the eyes and began laughing hysterically.
"Shit, Josh, befriending your boyfriend’s wife isn’t exactly keeping it on the DL," Eddie said, regaining composure.
"That’s just great, real compassionate of you Eddie," Josh said and stormed off to the bathroom.
"Of course you could ask Jacin’s wife, Jody, for pointers," Eddie called after him.
Josh gifted him with a little birdie.
To be continued…

Desperation

2008-07-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

A week had passed since the thorn of Jacin and Jody’s marriage pricked George’s heart. Tension filled their home like the hot, heavy air in a sauna. Jacin’s fervent apologies and guilt-fueled acts of redemption managed only to push the thorn in further, reminding George of Jacin’s deception.
Banished from their bed, Jacin lay outright on the living couch, an old floral bed sheet draped over his body, and Hansel and Gretel (their two dachshunds) curled up at his feet. Stephen King’s Desperation was propped open on his chest. As Jacin read: "It was not terror this thought called up in his mind and heart but despair, as if the image of Brian’s fingers laced together in his coffin proved that nothing was worth anything, that doing never once in the world stopped dying ..." his mind drifted to the memory of that frightening day eight years earlier when he rushed Jody, his then-roommate, to the hospital after she collapsed on the Gallivan Center ice rink, her knee popped out of its socket. At the time Jody didn’t carry health insurance and because of the doctor’s persistent recommendation for surgery they agreed to a shotgun City Hall wedding and an update to Jacin’s health insurance policy. The marriage was to be annulled shortly after Jody’s surgery, but because of certain hurdles in obtaining an annulment in Utah, they continually postponed it. Then, by the year’s end, they realized the tax break for married couples was worth staying married ... at least for the time being. And as years passed, the tax refunds outweighed the annulment.
Then, when Jacin and George first met each other at a mutual friend’s Halloween party, their attraction was as mysterious and brooding as the night. Jacin arrived with Eddie and Josh dressed as the original crime-fighting trio, Charlie’s Angels. George, a vampire who resembled the saddlebag-skinned George Hamilton in Love at First Bite, was quickly taken by Josh’s attire. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought to himself, "Sabrina looks like a haggard, butch Russian wrestler." As the night progressed, they walked circles around each other, sizing each other up. Finally, excitement erupted, breaking fever in their groins. They embraced, lips locking in each other’s essence. Those in the room around them disappeared from existence one at a time until Jacin and George were left alone, weightless and fused in passion.
After they returned to earth, and Marilyn Monroe, Tinkerbell, merman and others redeveloped like photos, Jacin took George’s hand and led him out to his Ford Bronco. They barreled into the backseat, giggling mischievously. They tore at each other’s costumes like rabid dogs, the stiff October air biting at their bare skin. Jacin leaned forward between the front seats, popped open the glove compartment and fumbled for a condom. Three minutes and twenty-seven seconds later, heaving chests and deep satisfied breaths had fogged the windows beyond transparency. As they lain wrapped in each other’s arms on the backseat, Jacin felt the urge to tell George of his marriage to Jody, but as the words reached his lips, they immediately disappeared. Each passing day since, the words failed to reappear.
Now George sat in bed, knees up near his chest and arms resting on them. He stared blankly at the platinum and white gold wedding band radiating from its velvet ring box resting in his hands. He thought about the man he loved who, at this moment, was 40 feet away on the couch; and he thought about the night that first began their life together. With the exception of a handful of verbal standoffs about flirting with other guys, looking at internet porn and leaving shoes in the middle of the room, George believed their love was seamless and eternal ... until now. He suddenly snapped the box shut, turned off the bedside lamp and definitively decided to return the ring the next morning.
Just as George was drifting off, the bedroom door creaked open. He opened his eyes and could only make out a beaten down silhouette of Jacin standing in the doorway.
"I love you George ... more than I know how to show you. I’m really sorry I kept the marriage from you all these years, but it’s such an old part of my past I never even think about it anymore."
George rolled over in the bed so his back faced Jacin, as if building a wall to protect himself from anymore pain.
Jacin continued, "We have a good life even with our problems, and our love for each other is strong enough to overcome the problems. This is our life ... I’ll fight for it and I hope you will, too."
Jacin hoped for a response, but none came so he slowly shut the bedroom door behind him on his way back to the couch.
To be continued…

Nostalgic Pride

2008-06-05T11:46:00.000-07:00

The morning revealed a calm breeze and ostrich feathers whisking through an ash blue sky, the sun stroking the top of the Uintah Mountains. The temperature would scale upwards of 85 degrees by the time Gay Pride Day, June 14, 1998 ended.
A ray of sunlight slipped through the blinds covering Eddie’s bedroom window and sprayed across his face. His eyes winced as if he was just pricked with a flu shot, then they fluttered open. His memory of the previous night painfully drowned in the several Long Island iced teas he snorkeled in at The Deerhunter.
He rubbed the haze from his eyes and glanced over at the body sprawled next to his. A small grin broke. Then he slipped from the covers and quietly skirted into the kitchen to make coffee.
Having slept through the Gay Pride Parade that had flowed through downtown Salt Lake City from the Capitol to the City-County Building at nine, Eddie decided to invite Josh, his boyfriend Matthew, and Owen over for mimosas before heading to the Pride festival. They were all sitting sporadically about Eddie’s small but functional living room when Sleeping Buddy emerged from the bedroom at a half past ten.
"Morning sunshine," Eddie said smiling, "Ready for a mimosa?" He raised his glass to him in offering.
Sleeping Buddy mumbled something indecipherable and slid into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
"Not exactly a morning person is he," Josh said.
Eddie shrugged, lifted himself from the couch and made way to the kitchen to make Sleeping Buddy a drink.
Two hours later Owen parked his Jetta on 5th South just across from the City-County Building, a lavishly-sculpted granite and sandstone structure, built in the late 1800s. The clock tower atop the center takes the perception of a giant candle on a German chocolate cake.
Hundreds of homosexuals, their children and pets, and a few of their straight counterparts were already milling about the grounds — some wandering through the couple dozen booths, eyeing rainbow emblazoned jewelry, trinkets, hats and shirts. Others sprawled out on blankets or lounging in folding lawn chairs, legs propped on coolers as if guarding the contents.
Most festival-goers were dressed casually and conservatively, and as five toe-heads (none of which were natural) approached the area, heads turned: Eddie in a spandex-polyester blend shirt illustrated with vibrant apples, red and green grapes and bananas, and lime green silk boxers; Owen shirtless in camouflage shortalls; Josh draped in a flowered spaghetti-strap summer dress and combat boots; Matthew in a cropped, white t-shirt and blue sarong, and Sleeping Buddy in Daisy Dukes and tie-dyed tank top. Each carried a travel mug or Big Gulp cup holding rum topped off sparingly with Coca-Cola.
Several familiar faces approached the group with compliments on their attire; others gave them disappointed looks that read, "How could you embarrass us like that?" The quintet wandered for about 15 minutes, watched a few uninspiring acts on the one stage, then sat together on blankets sunbathing and watching all the cliques as they hoot-n-hollered like they were the most hilarious people alive.
As the sun traveled westerly and beat down on the sun goddesses that were Josh, Eddie, Owen, Matthew and Sleeping Buddy, and as the several trips to Owen’s Jetta for refills began to strip the goddesses of their prowess, they agreed to go party poolside in Eddie’s backyard.
On the way out, an exuberantly giddy young woman (probably had been 4:20 all day for her) noticed Eddie and screamed as if she just won Publisher’s Clearing House. Stuck to her slight waist and shapeless legs was the matching pair of pants to Eddie’s shirt.
Through little persuasion (due to alcohol consumption), Eddie agreed to swap his fruity shirt for the ecstatic woman’s sweat-stained maroon top. But then was taken aback when suddenly she lifted her shirt and bare Hostess Snoball-size breasts appeared as if out of nowhere.
"I’m Eddie. This is Owen, Josh, his boyfriend Matthew," sputtered Eddie, then putting his arm around Sleeping Buddy, he added, "And this is my boyfriend Jacin."
She shook each of their hands, "I’m Trixie and this is my husband Geoff," she pointed to her handsome, but clueless companion. " ... with a G," she clarified.
After a few pleasantries, the stoned couple walked off, and as Eddie watch Trixie bound down the street — dressed neck-to-toe in fruit — he concluded her name fit the outfit, and felt charitable about trading his shirt for one that reeked like worn tennis shoes and clove cigarettes.
The boys returned to Eddie’s apartment, switched to beer, filled the plastic kiddie pool and sat waist-deep in the cold water, singing along to such hits as Will Smith’s "Getting’ Jiggy Wit It" and "The Boy Is Mine" by Brandy & Monica, blasting from the portable stereo.
Later that evening, Eddie and Jacin — being die-hard party animals — left the others crashed out on Eddie’s living room floor and cabbed it to Bricks’ post-Pride beer-bust party where they danced and made out until they were seeing double.
Their first Gay Pride Day as a couple left Eddie and Jacin plastered and truly thankful they had requested the following day off work.

The Greatest Show on Earth

2008-05-08T11:44:00.000-07:00

Jacin and George were scurrying about the house, actually it was mostly George — Jacin frequently, and by no design of his own, was pulled into the whirlwind that was George. They were already minutes late to meet Eddie and Jody at Pib’s Exchange, a clothing exchange boutique. Their mission: to find camp-fabulous clothing, wigs and accessories for a surprise birthday drag show planned for their friend, Leticia.
Leticia was their token hetero Mormon-bred friend, growing up in a white Latter-day Saint household alongside five sister siblings named Shayla, Tasha, Leila, Tia and Maya. The group occasionally discussed the irony between Leticia’s name and her avidity for black men, especially bald ones. A winter excursion to Jamaica two years ago validated the assertion when Jacin found her on the beach in a compromising position with a local member of the hotel’s house band.
When Jacin and George finally arrived at Pib’s, Eddie and Jody already had arms full of sheer and silky blouses, psychedelic skirts and bell-bottom pants, a shoulder-length blue fabricated wig and a pair of blaze-orange, wicker-wrapped wedges.
Jody’s expression was far less than ecstatic, she only volunteered to join them because her girlfriend, Kat, was in sessions most of the day, and she was frankly bored. Jacin and George perused the racks another half hour, slipping scarves and wrap-around skirts under their arms. Jacin howled at a costume bra that, when filled with water, a scenic ocean motif with plastic floating fish comes to life. To George’s disapproval, Jacin insisted on buying it.
The group hauled their load to the cashier when George confessed, "I can’t believe I’m actually doing drag for the first time in my life ... and I’m going to be 50 in two years."
"Don’t worry, hon! The six-foot hole I’m digging should be ready by then," Jacin quipped with a big smile.
A few hours later Leticia’s birthday bash was in full swing. Jody and Kat’s spacious dining room was cleared out and turned into a makeshift stage littered in colorful balloons and stage lighting. Two black buffet-size tablecloths were hung as stage curtains separating the dining and living rooms.
Cajin Spice (Jacin) opened the show with a hilarious impersonation of Cyndi Lauper singing "She Bop." The Finding Nemo water bra was a huge hit, worth the three dollars spent on it. Up next was Juicy Fruit (Eddie) with an oddly athletic performance to "Mickey" — everyone was impressed, albeit confused, by his graceful high kicks and other cheerleading standards in black patent pumps.
As the evening progressed and the Jell-O shots disappeared, the acts also progressed to near embarrassment. Cherry Popper (Jody), who refused to do dyke drag, instead chose to perform drag queen extraordinaire Pussy Tourette’s "If I Can’t Sell It" in nothing but a red silk teddy. It started out rather sensual, but quickly turned comical when a leg of the chair being used as a prop split and she tumbled to the floor, a magnifying glass-size nipple popping out of the teddy. Needless to say her new drag name became Cherry-pop Janet.
Tipsy Turvy (Josh) closed the show as an eerily-classic Janis Joplin, singing "Me and Bobby McGee" with an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips and brandishing a half empty (or half full) bottle of vodka.
After the performers stripped their drag attire and makeup — including an awkward moment cutting the fishnet stockings from Tipper Whore (George), which were hindering blood flow through her legs — and after the dining room was returned to its original purpose, they all sat down for a late dinner.
"So what happened with the one-night stand who called you last week?" Eddie asked Josh.
"I’ve actually been meaning to tell you all, but I haven’t been sure how," he replied.
"Just spit it out," Leticia dribbled, a sunflower tiara slipping forward on her head.
"OK. Now please try to be open to what I’m about to say," Josh started. "I know how unreceptive we are to new people coming into our group, so ..."
"I can vouch for that!" Kat interrupted, then smiling at Jody.
"So I’ve been out with him a couple more times, and I still don’t know how I feel about this but ... he’s married."
"To a woman?" asked Eddie, eyes wide.
"No. To a Great Dane!" Josh retorted. "But that’s not all. Shifting uncomfortably in the chair, "He’s also a staunch Republican."
The screech that erupted from Eddie could easily have summoned a Great Dane.
Once he regained composure he said, "I don’t think I could date a Republican, let alone a married one."
"It is strange dating a married person," Kat confessed. "I’m patiently waiting for Jody and Jacin to finally get a divorce."
"Excuse me ... what did you just say?" demanded George, projecting the evilest of eye at Jacin, whose immediate thought was he may well be the one to end up in that six-foot hole.
To be continued ...

Coons and Canasta

2008-04-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

The mostly-modest residents of Blaine Avenue paid little notice to (or denied the reality of) the gay couple moving into a house in their mostly-modest neighborhood. Jacin and George bought the house five years into their relationship as an anniversary gift to one other. They had started out as friends, but mutual jealousies ran rampant as they attempted to date other men. Eventually they fell into bed with one another, fell in love and argue only when the moon is full or there’s no milk in the fridge.
This being Jacin’s third long-term relationship (that is, more than eight months), he was a little nervous but also enthusiastic about sharing the responsibilities of home ownership with his lover. However, it would be only a few months later that the butterflies raiding his gut would increase when he learns his parents are moving into a duplex four houses down.
Their quaint two-bedroom rambler sits on a quarter acre of land — the backyard large enough to accommodate their two rowdy dachshunds — Hansel and Gretel. The living quarters on the main floor and the unfinished basement offer just enough intrigue for their feisty Maine Coon cat — aptly called Freddy Krueger as she could strip the lacquer off a bowling ball in two swipes. If Hansel could talk, he’d attest to this fact, though his several scars illustrate it. Coons are a bit less domesticated than other house cats, and to allow them to wander outdoors would be like a frightening cross-episode of America’s Most Wanted and Animal Planet.
With Freddy Krueger incarcerated in the bathroom, Jacin and George hauled boxes into the house from the U-Haul haphazardly parked on the front lawn. Both hot under the collar because their friends Eddie and Josh were late to help them unpack.
It wasn’t common knowledge among the group of friends that their procrastination in helping each other move residences was a conscious choice. For most of them growing roots was like planting Birds of Paradise in the arctic tundra. Plus Jacin and George packed around absolutely everything they had ever obtained since childhood.
About the time the U-Haul was half cleared and the interior of the house looked victim to a home invasion, Eddie and Josh arrived bearing two 12-packs of PBR and a bottle of cheap vodka. The usual homo-hugs followed by endearing greetings like "about time you old trolls got here!" and "listen here missy gooch, don’t make me pinch your nipples!" were exchanged.
Though it was barely noon, it was also Saturday, so beer cans were fastidiously opened and chilled vodka shots were cheered in tradition to: "Here’s to the ones that we love, here’s to the ones that love us, but to hell with the ones and here’s to us."
Less than three hours later, the U-Haul had been emptied, Josh had recapped his previous night’s escapade with a man he picked up at Club Try-Angles (whose most memorable quality was that "he’s hung like a horse on Viagra") and George had dug up playing cards for a game of canasta.
As with previous attempts at the game, the foursome bickered over scoring and the rules — it always peeved Eddie when the players would advise each other on which cards to play. Why they all enjoy playing canasta no one will ever know — to an outsider it would look similar to a murder of crows pecking at each other until bloody.
Twenty minutes into the rotation Josh’s phone abruptly cooed Britney’s single Piece of Me. After the standard pleasantries, Josh just listened to what was said on the other end and the winter pale drained from his face.
"What’s wrong?" George asked after Josh hung up the phone.
"That was the guy I hooked up with last night," Josh replied looking flustered.
"What did he say?"
"I don’t want to talk about right now ... I need a shot!"
Eddie, Jacin and George knew better than to force it out of him — he would talk about it when he was ready.
Suddenly, a high-pitch screech emanated from behind the bathroom door.
"We forgot about Freddy," George said.
He opened the door and the cat barreled out of the bathroom; Freddy nearly skid into Josh, hissed at him with contempt then scrammed down the stairs.
To be continued ...