jack and bob jokes

Jack and Lola -10 000 $

2006-06-18T11:17:00.000+02:00

One day, while Lola was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it."Oh, that," Jack said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad."But what about

Bob and Jack-Nobel prize

2006-06-15T23:45:00.000+02:00

Bob looks out the window & sees Jack standing out in his field. He tells his wife Lola, that he is really worried about Jack. The next day he looks out his window and sees Jack still standing out in his field. He says Lola, Jack has lost his mind and I need to go help him! He walks over to Jack, and says "what the hell are you doing Jack". Jack says "I'm trying to win the Nobel Prize". Bob says "

Jack-finding Jesus

2006-06-14T22:00:00.000+02:00

Jack, drunk as usual, stumbles into a baptistmal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He walked down into the water an stood next to the preacher.The minister turns and notices drunken Jack and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"Jack replies, "Yesh, Your Honor, I sure am!"Then minister dunks Jack under the water and pulls him right back up.” Have you found Jesus?" he asked."

Jack -vacation

2006-06-13T17:30:00.000+02:00

Jack and Bob were talking one afternoon, and Jack tells Bob, "You know, I think I'm ready for a little vacation. But this year I want to do something different.The last few years, I took your suggestions about where to go. Three years ago you said I should go to Hawaii, an' I did an' Lola got pregnant.The next year you said to go to the Bahamas. Lola got pregnant again. And last year you told me

Death notice

2006-06-12T19:50:00.000+02:00

Lola went to the local newspaper and said she wanted to put in the Obituary Column that Jack died. They told her it would be $1.00 per word. She said, "Here's $2.00 - put in there that JACK DIED. They said, Lola, surely you want more than that." She said, Mais, no, just Jack died. The editor said, "Well, you're a little upset. Bring yourself back tomorrow and you will probably think of something

Jack and Bob-chicken

2006-06-12T19:48:00.000+02:00

Jack was walking down the road one day and spotted Bob walking towards him carrying a sack over his shoulder. When they met up on the road, Jack asks Bob " What you got in the sack?" Bob replies "I got me some chickens in this sack." Jack then says to Bob , "If I guess how many chickens are in the sack, can I have one?" Bob , the polite man that he is, kindly says,"If you can guess how many

Jack-Viagra pills

2006-06-11T18:26:00.000+02:00

Jack, in his eighties, got up one morning, and was putting on his coat, when his wife Lola said, "Jack, where you go?" The elderly Jack replied, "Lola, I'm gonna go to da doctor, me."Surprised his wife asked "Why, are you sick?" "No," Jack said, "I'm gonna get me some of dem new Viagra pills."With that, Jack's equally elderly wife got up out of her rocker and started putting on her

Jack and Bob-bear hunting

2006-06-11T18:19:00.000+02:00

Jack and Bob were driving on the highway, on their way to go bear hunting. They come upon this fork in the road, where there was a sign that said " BEAR LEFT". They turned around and went home.

Jack and Lola- counselor's office

2006-06-11T17:22:00.000+02:00

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments,Jack and his wife Lola decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion."What seems to be the problem?"

Jack in costume shop

2006-06-11T15:28:00.001+02:00

Jack goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam." The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough."She brings out a bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough." She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough."She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

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2006-06-11T15:28:00.000+02:00

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Bob and Ivan-Twins

2006-06-11T14:53:00.000+02:00

Bob and Ivan are visiting Jack in New York, strolling down the street when they see a plane hitting one of the Twins.Ivan:"Look,Bob , they're making a movie!"A few minutes later the other one hits, and Bob hits Ivan on the head. "You dummy, they're making a TV- series!!"

Link exchange

2006-06-11T12:24:00.000+02:00

If You want to link exchange with us please leave a commentand send us Your reciprocal linkWe will review Your site periodically, and if our link isn't there we will remove your link without noticefootwallsThe Jokery - An online humor emporium!FUNNIES.comcollege humor - offers a funny book on university life. for students and faculty looking

Jack and Bob-arm amputated

2006-06-11T12:06:00.000+02:00

Jack is walking down the street, just out of the hospital after having his right arm amputated. He’s depressed to the point of desperation, crying, talking to himself, thinking about suicide. He can’t bear the thought of life without his arm. Suddenly he sees Bob walking towards him, skipping and smiling. When he gets closer, Jack sees that Bobis actually laughing out loud. What is most amazing

Jack and Lola -situation

2006-06-11T12:04:00.000+02:00

Lola asks Jack: “Jack, what is a ‘situation’?” Jack: “Well, that’s when you come back from work and you find me in bed with the neighbor’s wife, that is a situation.” Lola: “I see. So when you come back from work and you find me with the neighbor, that’s also a situation?” Jack: “No, woman, now you are mixing ‘situation’ with ‘beating up’.”

Bob and Ivan -bartender Ivan

2006-06-11T12:00:00.000+02:00

Bob sits at the bar and orders a beer from the bartender Ivan. “There you go,” says Ivan, “that will be 10 cents.” Bob, surprised: “10 cents!!! OK, then give me a Jack Daniels.” Ivan: “Jack is a little expensive: 30 cents, please.” Bob, surprised even more: “30 cents!!! Where is the owner of this establishment?” Ivan: “Upstairs, with my wife.” Bob: “What is he doing with your wife, man?” Ivan: “

Jack-fax machine

2006-06-11T11:58:00.000+02:00

Jack is relaxing in a sauna in Russia. A cell phone goes off. Jack sees a Russian reach beneath his towel, get the cell phone and talk about important business. The same happens, seemingly, with every other Russian in the sauna: everyone seems to have a cell phone and some important business to run. After a while, only Jack has not had a phone conversation, and the Russians begin to look at him

Jack, Bob and Ivan-TV documentary

2006-06-11T11:50:00.000+02:00

A television production house is shooting a documentary intended for children. In this episode, they visit Jack working on his farm. “How do you start your day?” asks the reporter. Jack responds: “Well, when I get up, I drink one shot of whiskey.” “Wait a second, this is a story for children! We want you to say something that’s good for them. For example, when I get up, I read a book.”“OK, I get

Lola -HIVpositive

2006-06-11T11:43:00.000+02:00

Lola had sex with one solider andafter the whole thing she asks:- Have you got certificate that you are not HIV positive?-Yes - he answers.And Lola says:- Well, now you can throw it away.

Jack and Lola-divorce

2006-06-11T10:17:00.000+02:00

Jack and Lola are divorcing. They are arguing on court who should get the child.The Judge:Lola, why do you think that you should get the child?Lola: Well, Your Honor I was carrying it for nine months I was looking after it when it was born I am the mother I absolutuely deserved it.The Judge: What about you, Jack? What do you think?Jack: Your honor, when you put a coin in to the coffee machine and

Bob choose wife

2006-06-11T10:13:00.000+02:00

Jack: Bob, have you decided which girl you gonna married ?Bob: Look, i called them (4 girls) and ask them a simple question.. how much is 2+2 !i ask first oneShe told me : 2+2 is 3 ! I saw she is stupid so i decide to tell her to go homeSecond girl told me : 2+2 ...hmmm sometimes is 3, sometimes is 5..Oh, man... i think to myself...;maybe she is philosophyst ...so i decided to skip her .I ask

Jack and Ivan-bicycle

2006-06-11T09:47:00.000+02:00

Jack and Ivan decided to move out of the small town they grew up in, andstart a new life in a big city. The only problem they had was how do theyget there?! They didn’t own a car and neither did anyone else in the town.The bus wouldn’t come by their way, and the train was a long way awayfrom where they were standing. Both of them grew incredibly miserable,and thought their most wonderful plan was

Jack-grocery store

2006-06-11T09:38:00.000+02:00

Jack decideds to go to the grocery store and asks the clerk,"are you lending any carrots"?'No, come back tommorow' repleid the clerk.Jack comes back the following day, asks if there are any carrots, and the clerk tells him ' no, come back tomorow'.So Jack keeps on comming back to the store, every day, asking if the clerk had any carrots to lend him since Jack forgot how to grow carrots, until one

Jack -bus terminal

2006-06-11T09:35:00.000+02:00

Jack is standing on a bus terminal. He is traveling to Washington. Ivan passed by and he saw Jack. They didn't see each other for over 15 years (since school days), and they have a lot of things to talk about.After a while Ivan asked: Did you married?Jack: No.Ivan: What are you waiting for my friend?Jack: Bus.

Who wants to be millionaires

2006-06-11T09:31:00.000+02:00

Jack is in the studio playing the quiz Millionaires. Then he doesn't know an answer and phones Bob: "Shall I do fifty-fifty or ask the audience?