Note: See the grass growing in the asphalt on the left.

All we have to do is watch 3o minutes of nightly news to be convinced the world is heading to…Hell in a hand basket.

But that’s not the whole story….Is it?

Maybe, we can see a different reality if we choose to.

Think of it like this. Our world is like asphalt. Asphalt is man-made. It’s a mixture of dark pitch with sand or gravel. It’s an artificial, synthetic, fabricated material used to cover over the natural earth much like the world we see and experience everyday.

But if you and I can develop the eyes for it, I bet we can see something else as well. The next time you are in an asphalt parking lot take a moment to look around. Go to the edges of the lot if you have to. Get on your hands and knees if you must…but choose to find it.

Choose to see the life struggling to break through the cracks. See the grass shooting through the crevasses of fabricated asphalt. Be surprised by the sapling sprouting in the fissure. Isn’t it incredible what nature will do?…It will bring life where it seems nearly impossible.

And if left alone and given enough time, that asphalt parking lot will succumb to the forces of nature. Bit by bit, year by year, eventually that parking lot will be destroyed by the Life forcing its way in.

Ultimately, Life will win. And that Life is the Kingdom of God.

Can you see it coming?

Some studies are now showing there may be a route to lower blood pressure through Upper-cervical Chiropractic care.

The data from these studies shows an affective method being used that has no side effects and may revolutionize the care of patients with high blood pressure. Here is a video related to the research studies:

The key area is the Atlas, or C-1 vertebra, which is responsible for holding the head in place. An Atlas vertebra that is even a millimeter off can cause problems in the body, restrict normal blood flow in the spine, or cause arteries to remain contracted. When this happens, high blood pressure may be one of the results.

In essence, what this means is that through Upper-cervical Chiropractic normal blood flow may be restored.

If you are suffering from high blood pressure, upper-cervical chiropractic care may allow you other options to your treatment routine.

Not all blood pressure problems stem from the Atlas vertebra, but it is possible that your spine may be misaligned. If this is the case, then a simple realignment may just be your path to a healthier and longer life.

* Upper-cervical Chiropractic is sometimes referred to as NUCCA, Atlas Orthogonal, Grostic Procedure, or Orthospinology.

As I’ve journeyed, I’ve often pondered what is the most important, most influential, most profound agent of change and transformation in Life.

Does it happen through cultivating self-awareness?

Becoming spiritually mature?

Developing your giftedness and calling?

Although, I’ve learned much from pursuing those things there is one thing that stands out as the most transformative agent in my Life. I’ve discovered that it has largely occurred through and in the context of my relationships.

I’m not talking about having a great mentor or learning from a well-read theologian. I’m talking about engaging in the disruptive, disorienting, and sometimes dismantling activity of relating to another human being.

Have you ever thought about what has brought you the most joy in Life?

Take a minute and think about the most beautiful, transcendent, and weighty moments of your life.

I bet they took place in the context of relationship.

Now, think about those moments that have brought you the most pain. The loss of a loved one, the betrayal of a close friend, or the wayward journey of a child.

It cannot be denied that relationships shape us, they mold us, and they consume us. They call us out and make us want to runaway. They cause us to self-protect and they cause us to sacrifice.

They are the most transforming agent of our lives and it is in their context that He chooses to work through the most.

It’s spring and we have a little pond off our backyard.

A couple weeks ago, we discover a mama duck swimming with her 7 chicks. It was fun watching them interact. Mama would swim and they would swim next to her literally attached to her hip. She would walk up the bank and they would scurry behind her. She would guide them to the high grass where they would get a little more bold and leave her side venturing a few feet away to feed.

A couple of days passed and we noticed the chicks numbered only 5. “Where did the other 2 babies go?”, one of my sons asked.

Then last night, we saw our little family again and they were down to 4…including mama.

Why does that bother me?

What is it about loss that moves our heart?

Maybe this one reality of life proves that we were made for more. Maybe we simply cannot come to grips with loss. Maybe the tears that well-up when we hear of, witness, or experience loss proves that we were designed for more.

At a deep level, we feel that somehow we are being cheated and wronged personally for that mama duck.

Maybe the difference between me and mama duck isn’t that much. Maybe I’m just more aware that it is…a testimony to the eternal life we were created to live.

Some thoughts on Humility:

Humility doesn’t offer answers. It asks…questions.

Humility doesn’t masquerade as shame. Shame masquerades as…humility.

Humility is believing that you are enough. And that you are…not enough.

Humility looks out for what’s best for you…even if it’s not what’s best for me.

Humility doesn’t try to fix you. It tries to…free you.

Humility shares a screw up. And accepts you when you…screw up.

Humility cultivates belonging for the wounded man and is despised by the…self-made man.

Humility is kind, gentle, and patient. And therefore it is…Love.

I recently had lunch with a newly graduated chiropractor. We talked at length about what it means to start a practice, manage patients, and operate a business.

It made me think back to my own Journey of starting out in 1999. I can remember not having even one patient on the schedule that first week. A lot has taken place since then and for me the one thing I’m convinced of is that it is rarely…a linear progression to success.

During the process, I changed direction, circled back, stumbled forward, and often had to realigned my heading. And I bet it is the same for you.

It’s good to have a plan, some sense of direction, and a goal of where we want to go, but getting there is not typically going to be a straight shot.

To travel a nonlinear journey forces us to engage with others, to converse with God, and to live with humility.

Accepting that our path is nonlinear doesn’t mean we have no plan, no direction, and no goals. It just means that we are okay with the mystery, discovery, and development of our Life.

Our Journey is nonlinear and that’s a good thing.

I was sitting through a boring lecture a few months ago. Everyone in the room was either looking at their phone or reading a book. A young girl next to me was reading a book on how to surf. I chuckled a little inside thinking of how silly that seemed.

I started surfing in the 3rd grade. I grew up in a coastal town and all my friends through high school were surfers. We looked a certain way, we talked a certain way, and we acted a certain way. But one thing we never did was read “how to books” on surfing.

Don’t get me wrong. I love books and I particularly enjoy “self-help” and personal development books like the one my surfer girl friend was reading next to me. But reading books can only take you and I so far in our journey of becoming.

The reality is…we become what we practice.

Want to become a grateful person?…practice gratitude.

Want to become a calm and patient woman?…practice peacefulness and patience.

Want to become a surfer?…go surfing.

We don’t acquire an attitude by reading books. We don’t develop a skill by simply thinking about something, talking about something or hoping something will develop.

You become a kind person because you practice being kind.

You become a generous person because you practice generosity.

You become a forgiving person because you practice forgiveness.

You become a vulnerable person because you share your vulnerabilities.

You become a surfer because you surf.

You become what you…practice.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reading an amazing book by Chip and Dan Heath titled Decisive.

It’s about how to make better choices in Life and Work. I’m really enjoying it and I wanted to share a little about what I’m learning on this huge topic. Today is part one in a series.

Here are a few quick thoughts about how we often wrongly approach “life changing” decisions:

1) To often we believe we have to make a to do or not do decision. “I’m either going to quit this job or I’m not” or “I’m going to go into ministry or I’m not”. We basically narrow frame our choices. We never consider the possibility that we could do both or that we could make some subtle adjustments to make life more enjoyable in our current job or assignment.

2) We also tend to have a confirmation bias. We look for signs but we really only look for signs that confirm what we already believe or want. We build a case that supports our desire and ignore elephants in the room. And we really don’t ask others that have done the exact same thing we are hoping to do and what their experience has been. Instead, we often misbelieve our situation is totally unique and that we will have a totally unique outcome.

3) We let short term emotion rule instead of long term priorities. We often don’t want to deal with the fall out of making a significant change. We fear the unknown more than the crap we have grown accustomed to. We really enjoy being creatures of habit because we know change is extremely difficult…so we settle.

4) We don’t prepare well before making a serious change. We too often believe this is a “leap of faith” moment so why plan or consider what you’ll do when u hit that first road block. We don’t pre-set “trip wires” to let us know we need to make a correction in our heading.

Do any of these resonate with you?

Think of decisions you’ve made in the past.

I know I’ve been guilty of all of these. Like the time I stayed in a business relationship too long. I didn’t have a trip wire in place so I nearly went bankrupt. Or the time I was convinced I was going to go into full-time ministry. I only saw the signs that confirmed my desire instead of the BIG thing that was missing…support.

Thoughts?

What are some ideas you have found helpful in approaching big decisions?

Years ago I wanted to make a big move professionally. I was very involved with a men’s ministry to the point that I was convinced it was my “calling”. I wanted to “do” more of what I was passionate about. I wanted to see men’s lives change for the better and I was willing to make significant sacrifices to pursue what I believed to be “His Calling”.

Fast forward to today, I have absolutely nothing to do with that ministry. There was no fall out. There was no BIG blow-up.

So, what happen?

Well to be honest, God had to show me some things. I really had no idea what “calling” was about. I thought it was about “doing” ministry type stuff.

Thankfully, God saved me from that path and invited me on another. It was as if He said, “That ministry can’t tell you who you are, Jack. Let’s take a walk and let Me show you what I was thinking when I made you”.

I share this because our desire to honor God is a good thing. Most of us want to “do” what is right. But too often we have a flawed understanding of how that works. We make it about the outer life. About doing. But in truth, we “do” what’s right, only after we begin to “become” what’s right.

What are u becoming?

Being attentive to another person during a conversation shows…you value them. Giving them full concentration to their words says…they are worthy to be heard.

But being attentive is becoming a lost art in our increasingly ADD culture.

Here are some ways to improve our attentiveness:

1) Don’t check your phone. Stay engaged in the person in front of you. Show them they are the most important person in your world at that moment.

2) Ask clarification questions about what they are saying.

3) When the other person pauses. Count to 4 in your head. Often the other person has more to say and is trying to articulate it better. This can be difficult because silence seems awkward, but in my experience it leads to more depth of conversation.

4) And above all don’t interrupt and don’t hog the air time.

Thoughts?

What other ways can we be more attentive during conversations?