Jaha's World

THE NIKEL chapter 17

2012-02-12T15:51:00.000-08:00

Life and Saundra laid in the bed together and stared at the ceiling. Sade sang and sage burned and Saundra tried to find a way to tell him. She walked to the ledge and swore she would jump in. (Just say it. Just say it.) One foot in front of the other, then nothing.

"I love you, baby." (And I'm pregnant and of course you're the father and don't think I'm trying to pressure you into marrying me or anything like that I just thoguht I should tell you and I wasn't even going to do that so you better be glad and I'm gonna quit my job and open up my restaurant that I've been dreaming about since forever ago. Yes, Life, I have dreams too. My whole life isn't just me supporting you and your career. Is that what you thought? Well, you're wrong, buddy and don't think for one minute you're just gonna leave me and not support your baby. You hear me? Do you?)

"I love you too."

"I don't know what's going on, Life but I know that something is. We gotta get this settled before we go on this cruise. I'm not going to be in a cabin with you for eight days pretending that everything is cool while we're out and then we're staring at the ceiling at night." (Please, please say something stupid so that I can get mad and say I'm not going on the cruise. How am I going to hide this from you all that time being so close to you? Or just come out and say whatever it is you're hiding from me and I can tell you what's going on. I just don't wanna look like a fool here.)

"Goodnight, Saundra."

Saundra knew she was being a hypocrite. She was five weeks pregnant and was seriously considering having an abortion and she gave him the come clean speech.

Four days after she found out she was pregnant, River and Saundra were parked in the parking lot of the abortion clinic. River was about to get out of the car. "I wanna do this alone."

"Saundra, you don't know what you're saying."

"Yes I do. I'll call you when it's over."

"Are you sure?"

Saundra walked into the clinic by herself. Not at all what she excpected. It looked lke a regular hospital waiting room. Some of the women looked...like her. She expected the welfare scenes she saw in bad movies. This isn't going to be so bad. She tried to convince herself. She couldn't help but think about Life and that he should at least know. It's bad enough having an abortion but to do it behind the father's back takes it to another level.

(No, I'm not telling him. I'm going to go ahead with this and if we work things out we can get married and have a baby in the future.)

"Good morning." She said to the young woman who sat next to her. She looked about twenty-five. She had on a black jogging suit and her hair pulled back in a short ponytail. Saundra wondered what her story was. Did the father of her child at least know? Was he waiting in the car for her? Was he at work sitting on pins and needles waiting for her to call? She wanted to ask her if he knew. Of course he knew. She was the only crazy person who would do something like this and not tell the father. Just her. (Why? Why am I doing it? Life isn't a bad guy. He loves me. Why not at least tell him?)

Just then Kenard popped into her head. Kennard Stanton. She hadn't thought about him in years. He was her high school sweetheart and she loved him. Kenard was the captain of the football team when they were seniors. She remembered how his teemmates teased Kenard and told him that she was going to trap him and have a baby before he went pro. She didn't pay them that much attention. Then she went with him to his family reunion and his mom, aunts and cousins were so nice to her. Then Kenard went to play basketball with his cousins and his girl cousin kept giving her a mean look and said that she could tell that Saundra was one of those light skinned bitches who just wanted her cousin for what she could get. And that she wanted him because he was about to be a football star and that she would kick her ass if she even thought about getting pregnant to trap him. Trap him? She had never though about it. Is that what people thought of her? That she wasn't good enough to make it in life without a man to take care of her? That she needed to trap somebody? She was so determined to show them and the rest of the world that she didn't need anybody. She broke up with Kenard the next week. She told him that they had gotten too serious and that she needed to focus on her studies because she was going to be somebody. That broke his heart. Hers too. All because she listened to what other people said about her and here she was doing it again.

She was so nervous she hoped she wouldn't start talking so much she couldnn't stop.

"Good morning to you too." The woman responded as if they were in a coffee shop and needed to share a table with her.

"Kinda scary, huh?" Saundra asked.

"I guess. You'll be ok. You picked a good day."

"What?"

"I mean it's not so crowded. Usually that whole side over there is filled up by now."

"Oh." Maybe this was as bad as she thought.

Ooops

2012-02-12T05:24:00.001-08:00

I need to spend the day spell checking my blog! Yikes!

911

2012-02-11T22:06:00.000-08:00

This poem is not about revolution
Or Malcolm or Tupac or H Rap Brown or revenge
Or an attack on America or even her own injustice
Not even about Assata

But about a mother who rides the blue line at 6
Gets off every morning at the Imperial station
Is a nurse who loves her son even still
Held him in a light only she and God
Could seem to see

He was 16 and licorice black with a
Handsome smile and perfect teeth
Just like his daddy

And was shot and killed by another man and
Woman's boy
That heavy on her neck somehow not being enough
Today she goes about her days remembering
On the eve of her only child's services
While his body wait alone and cold
Beyond a comforters cure
His murderer
Captured only by karma
Maybe
Emptied his body
Spray painted his casket in red letters
Old English font now tattooed on the
Chest of her memory
Swollen and flexed until her forever ends and why

This poem is about the courage it takes to
Somehow remember
He always kissed her goodnight
Ate greens with ketchup
Loved fish with his grits

This is not about Rodney King or Daryl Gates
Natasha Harlins or Stacey Koon
Not even about Soon Ja Du
This poem has nothing to do with Watts 1965
Not really

But kinda

In a way it is about a brave little girl out in
Montebello who was beautiful and 4
Who sat in her room and counted
Dos, tres, quarto, cinco
Loudly under all her pillows

While her father repeatedly stabbed her mother
And then left
And she
Somehow tearlessly embraced her mother's
Bleeding dying body
Patted her hand, rocked said

James te pueden hacer dano
Dios te va hacer bonita

(No one will hurt you
God will make you pretty)

There are many stories
If by chance they should all be told one day
There will be many more even after that
This isn't about La Revolution Mexicana
I already told you that

Only the revolution that occurs in the souls of us
Who still love the spirits
Of those of whom we cannot see

We see these heroes on the bus
On the train
In the next cubicle
At the light
Honoring the memory of those faces that
May never flash across the evening news

And those faces that do

I pray that when I have passed away
I will have created grand memories enough
To sustain my loved ones well

I pray that in the break of morning clear
They will breathe without having to be reminded
Accepting finally

That there is an inevitable death that
Comes with living
Though religions and philosophies do best they can at explanation
They will not ever have power enough to prevent
Having lived life time over and again
I have found laughter to be truest friend
For therein lies
At evil's demise
God within us all

This poem
If indeed it is a poem at all
Is about
Dancing on hurt feet

Rest well, Whitney

2012-02-11T21:28:00.000-08:00

This threw me. I saw the message in my phone and thought someone was joking. Whitney Houston passed away today. 48 years old. Whitney. Somewhere there is a poem inside of me. There is prose or at least haiku but not now. Whitney. Dear Whitney.

Virgo horoscope for 2/12/12

2012-02-11T21:26:00.001-08:00

Today you can expect some noticeable changes in your neighborhood, Virgo. Some new neighbors who might become your friends could be moving in. This could alter your life ever so subtly, turning it in a more positive direction. You could click immediately with these new people, realizing that they share a lot of your interests. Don't overanalyze this situation, but don't write it off as coincidence either. Just make the most of it!

THE NIKEL chapter 16

2012-02-11T21:22:00.000-08:00

Amad sat at the kitchen table in his apartment as he thought and drank a beer. The lights were very dim as he replayed a phone message from Obrey.

"Amad, I miss you. I miss us. I love you, but not like this. I feel so far from you. It's not just you. This hot and cold then hot then cold again we keep doing is making me dizzy. We need to talk. I can't stand it. One minute it's so good and then the very next, I don't know. Anyway, Jewel is with Davis at a baby shower. They may be out late so I'll bring her up in the morning if you want me to. Or she can just stay. Amad, I do love you, ok. Just, something is wrong and I'm kinda scared. Love you, call me.

He threw the phone and watched it hit the wall. Watched the battery separate itself from the receiver, ricotche off the wall and find rest somewhere under the couch. Amad was in no hurry to mend teh phone. No hurry to call Obrey. He sat there at his table and drand his beer and remembered that his father used to tell him to control what he could control. He was tired of her mood swings. Tired of trying to make it work. Tired of dodging her questions about him and Malik. What difference did it make anyway? She would benefit. He wasn't cheating. Wasn't abusing her. He was more than just not abusing her. He loved her.

(I'm good to her. Fucking good to her. I give her everything I have. If she wants more, if she aint satisfied then she can go get what she wants from someplace else. Fuck it. I can't do this shit no more.)

My Virgo horoscope for 2/11/12

2012-02-10T20:26:00.001-08:00

Your ability to concentrate will be enhanced today, Virgo. If you have studying or detailed work to tend to, this will be an opportune time to get to it. Hobbies that require a lot of focus may also strike your fancy. Even if a herd of stampeding elephants runs through your space, you aren't likely to lose your concentration. Pull out your most intensive tasks and have a great day.

I choose

2012-02-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

Even in the good times we have to remember to breathe. Slowly and deeply. We push the blessings away during the good times because we, ok I'm talking about myself, I get afraid that I don't deserve good times. And so I wait, and impatiently I might add, for the other funky shoe to drop. And because Life doesn't want to disappoint me, it drops. Funkily.

I accept goodness for myself. I accept love and happiness. I accept peace and joy. And I get to say.

JahaTV

2012-02-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

1. Criminal Minds
2. Law and Order
3. Without a trace
4. Keeping up with the Kardashians
5. Kim and Kourtney take New York
6. Kylie (the friggin Odom sister. My iPad correction won't let me spell her name correctly. I should be the boss of it, not the other way around, right?) and Lamar
7. Ice loves Coco
8. Charmed
9. America's Next Top Model
10. Project Runway
11. Almost anything on Lifetime
12. Cold Case
13. Hoarders
14. Numbers
15. South Park
16. The Simpsons

17. Family Guy
18. NCIS

Blahblah

2012-02-10T14:00:00.000-08:00

I should seriously create a reality TV show. I mean really, everybody and their mother has one. Of course I don't know what on earth it would be about and I wouldn't want to expose my life to the world like that. I know you think I expose my life already but I don't share everything. Really. It seems like that because I'm pretty detailed about what I do share. Anyway I am sooo rambling.

Life is in the telling

2012-02-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

The stories have to come out
Otherwise they fill me up until I stink
With the rottenness of bad memories
I cook over and over like leftover rice

I tell my stories to save my life
Until my telling scrapes the metal of my gut
I keep telling

In secret journals and blocked and published blogs
In poems and stories
Tell my stories with paint and photography

Tell my stories with my tongue
With my pussy with ashy knuckles and dirty knees
In the shower and on stages

I keep talking myself out of some stories
Telling myself that too much time has gone by
To be important
But stories are not avocados
They do not get stale and disolve
They live and grow

And when they have outlived there purpose
They must be buried properly
And walked away from
The stories will not be ignored

I must tell cursed and hallelujah stories
To save my life
Maybe my stories will save your life too
And then you will tell yours
And save a life too

Happy Friday

2012-02-10T09:55:00.001-08:00

Good morning wonderful people. I don't know what it looks like outside of your window but from where I'm sitting in California, it's beautiful. Seriously. And I feel beautiful. And loved and happy and ready for the day. Kiss yourselves on the forehead and go out and be the great day you want.

THE NIKEL chapter 15

2012-02-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

Saundra knew it. She knew something was off but didn't think she was pregnant. They had always been careful. How was she going to tell Life? Was she going to tell him was the real question. She could just hear his boys laughing about how she trapped him. She knew what they thought of her. Bigger than his boy's opinion of her was how she was going to survive eight days at sea when she was already queasy on land? She finally started seriously looking for a space to open the restaurant. She finally got serious about cleaning up her department so that she wouldn't feel so bad when she left. And now she was pregnant. How could she just leave? Start a new business? Saundra incessantly talked to herself the whole day. She asked all sorts of questions. Where would she get insurance? "From the baby's father, stupid." She finally said out loud. "From Life. I'm not the only one having a baby here." But she was for now because she wasn't ready to say anything. Especially with how strange he had been acting. Did he know?

She got in her car and called River. "Hey lady you busy? I'm not far from you, wanna meet me at Simply Wholesome? Veggie burger my treat? K, see you in a minute, I'm just a block away." She knew River would know something was up but she thought River would think that Saundra was just announcing her engagement and to tell her that she was the maid of honor. What would they do? Would she and Life get married? No, no, no. Wedding? That seemed so far away from reality with the way they had been getting along lately. Life must have thought she was a fool or something. She didn't know if it was another woman or what, but they had to get to the bottom of it before the cruise. She was not giving up her little secret until she knew what he was hiding.

I love this

2012-02-10T03:29:00.001-08:00

THE NIKEL chapter 14

2012-02-09T15:50:00.000-08:00

A few days after the art exhibit Obrey was driving home to meet a client for a fitting. The traffic on the 110 was tight and she didn't want to have her client waiting outside the house so she called Davis. "Hey girl, I'm glad you answered the phone...Yeah, I'm ok. A client of mine and her husband are meeting me at the house for a fitting. I may be a few minutes late. Did you get Jewel already? Ok, thanks. Who? What's he doing there? Yeah let me speak to him. Hey honey, what's up?"

Obrey didn't remember setting a lunch date with Amad and wondered if he made that up. He had accused her a few times in the past week about being distant. He didn't push it because her distance was somewhat of a relief because she wasn't standing over him asking about every move he made and frowning every time he was on the phone with Malik. Still, to Amad, his distance was ok but hers was suspicious.

"I'm really sorry, honey. I just got tied up. I know I should have called. I'll cook dinner for you tonight when my client leaves. Can you stay? Well come over as soon as you're done with recquetball. I owe you baby." She was glad the vibe was good between them for the meomemnt. "I love you too."

Dob and Amad were playing racquetball when he asked, "What's up with your game today?"

"Stuff on my mind." Amad responded.

"Well, that's what the game is supposed to do man, clear your head." Dob said as he continued playing and beating Amad. "Here you go!"

Amad hit the rubber ball hard and it bounced and whizzed past Dob's head. "Take that! Don't worry about what's up with my game. Check yoself." Dob could tell that Amad was only particaly joking. They played the rest of the game hard and in silence except for the grunts that followed each swing.

As they got into Amad's car, Dob was on the phone. "Yeah, it sounds great. Will you repeat the adress please? Ok thank you. You have a good day." Dob ended the call and put his phone in his bag. "You have a pen in here?" He immediately opened the glove compartment without waiting for an answer. As he opened it, a stack of envelopes almost fell out. Amad caught the stack and quickly closed the compartment. Dob stared at his friend wit a strange look.

"I don't have a pen, man!" Amad yelled.

"Hey, what's up with you?"

"Aw man, you know. Like I said, you know, just...stuff on my mind. I'm cool."

There was a moment of silence. "So, how's the Mrs.?" Asked Dob.

"She's alright. Aint got much time for a brotha these days. She's designing Ausette Rochelle's dress for the Image Awards the everybody else's it seems. "

"Whaaaaat?! Tell her I said congratulations! So I guess i don't need to ask if you're ready for the big date."

"Yeah, but I'm not the one you need to ask."

"Obrey getting cold feet?"

"I don't know what she's getting. It's seems like every time we're together her head is some place else. And the wedding is the worst topic of all to bring up. I thought by now she'd be so excited I wouldn't be ale to shut her up about flowers, invitations, food and all that. I know the designs of her next six clients but she hasn't even said what colors she wants to wear."

"So, where are you with it? Are you sure?"

"I love her man. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on her because I haven't been Mr. Prince Charming myself lately."

"What's up with that? Flowers and food aint what's on your mind."

"Not at all."

"Then what?"

"I've been working on a business venture that should make our financial life pretty comfortable. I haven't really been as emotionally there for her as she's used to, but I just need her to be patient. Everything I do, I'm doing for her and Jewel. I'm tring to show her that I love her by puttin' myself in a position where she can be comforatable."

"This 'business venture,' is is something you're keeping a secret from her?"

Amad tried to brush him off. "Umm, not really secret. Just, you know, we're...I'm working stuff out and the details don't concern her right now."

"Are you listening to yourself right now? You've only said a few sentences to me and I can tell something shady is going on. You think she can't pick up on that too? Let me ask you, does this have anything to do with Malik?"

"I mean, we're working on a little something. Why you all in my shit, man? You worse than Obrey right now."

"I aint tryin' to get in yo shit. I'm just a friend on the outside looking in and I could tell when I saw you at the gallery something was up. You know, everytime I have ever seen Malik he has that look. That shady look, like the one you have right now."

"Man you trippin', what shady look?"

"That look that has always let me know that something is just not right with thata brotha. I can feel it and I'm sure Obrey can feel it too. Look man, that's your woman. Do you really love her or what?"

"Of course I do. I never felt like this about any other woman. She's good to me and great with Jewel. After Jewel's mom passed, I didn't know what I was going to do. It took some time but I finally got into the rhythm of Jewel and me. I had convinced myself that it would be that way forever. Then I met Obrey. She took one look at Jewel and fell in love. I think she felt sorry for her and related to her because her owm mom had passed."

"You talk a lot about how you appreciate Obrey in Jewel's life, but that doesn't say what she is to you. Would you feel the same about her if Jewel weren't in the picture?"

"What are you saying? That I'm using Obrey because I need someone for Jewel?"

"I'm saying that if you don't communicate with Obrey, and if you are distant with her because of some new business venture you have going on with Malik, then she might feel that way."

Amad dropped Dob off at home and headed for Obrey's. Even though she missed lunch he felt good about the vibe between thenm earlier. Maybe tonight would be one of those long overdue easy going nights. He called to check things out. "Hey you, I'll be there shortly. You finished with your meeting?"

When he arrived, the door was open and he walked in. There was a couple there that was about to get married. She held the dress as they stood in the den and talked.

"Amad, come in and let me introduce you." Amad walked into the room with Obrey. "This is Amad Jenkins. Amad, this is soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Allan Hicks."

"Pleased to meet you both." Amad shook their hands. They all talked just a bit longer and then Amad and Obrey walked them out to their car and watched them drive off.

"I didn't expect the meeting to go so late. I'll get started on dinner right now. It won't take long."

"Tell you what, lemme go check on Jewel and I'll come down and make dinner myself for everyone. Davis stayin' in?"

"I don't think so, she said she was meeting Dob later."

"He didn't even say anything about it to me. We were just playing ball together."

"Was he supposed to say something to you? Besides, you know man on a mission Dob. I'm surprised Davis is letting things go so fast. When they were together before all she talked about was tthat he was always too busy for her and didn't pay her any attention."

"I think he was just focused on trying to get the school up and running. Maybe he regrets letting her get away before and doesn't want that to happen again. Anyway, why are we still talking about them as hungry as I am? Tell Jewel I'll be up in a minute. Imma get dinner started first."

"Baby, are you sure? I don't mind." Obrey wondered where the offer was coming from but she had to admit it was a welcome change from all the fighting.

"I got it. But before I do, come here. I wanna tell you something." He took her hand and led her into the den. He sat on the lazyboy and sat her on his lap.

"What are you doing? Who are you?" She sat on his lap and he put his left finger up to his mouth and motioned with his right hand for her to just be still. He got up from the chair and left the room quickly and ran upstairs to check on Jewel in her room. She had finished her homework and had fallen asleep watching The Cosby Show on the TVland channel.

When he came out of Jewel's room, Obrey was standing in the hallway in front of her room and motioned for him to come in. He took her and led her to the front of the dresser in front of the mirror. He took the white cotton scarf off her head and watched her long locks fall below her waist. He stood behind her and untied her shirt at the back, squeezed her breasts and pulled the tie behind her neck loose with his teeth. Obrey started to say something but he turned her around to kiss her before she could. He was not going to let the moment be spoiled with something she might say.

"I was only going to say that I miss you." She said.

He turned her back around gently and put his face next to hers and amdired how well they looked in the mirror. "We're beautiful." She responded with a moan, feeling him get harder behind her thighs. He gripped her waist tighter and pulled her to him. Her eyes went somewhere in the back of her head while she reached inside of her skirt, rubbed her thighs then gently spread her legs with his fists.

Rehab - Amy Winehouse

2012-02-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

I could watch and listen to Amy Winehouse sing Rehab over and over. "There ain't nothin' you can teach me that I can't learn from Mr. Hathaway." Ahm sayin'.

You wanna know me?

2012-02-09T13:29:00.000-08:00

I am turned on by conversation
Vulnerable
Open
Free
Honest
Humble
In the moment
Slow
Passionate
Kiss
Easy

Facebook conversation

2012-02-09T11:14:00.001-08:00

Gimel: Yeaaaaaah I like this one.

Thought: Malcolm is thinking trying to prevent himself from getting angry, Barack is holding up his face flabbergasted and Martin is thinking trying to keep his cool, even though inside he appears to be seething. I need to learn how to photoshop, I would have Hannibal on one side and Chaka Zulu on the other

Ice: It is very disrespectful to put a politician who is about himself and wasn't even socialized in Black culture, in the same regard as 2 men who sacrificed their lives for the betterment of their people.

Gimel: This photo is about three black men who rose to prominence in American history. Barack Obama is our nations first black president and it is always the first through the wall to bleed the most. Don't make it personal brother, IcePick.

Ice: ‎@GH. Not takin' it personal. Here we have 2 men who were in the streets with the common everyday people, who grew up in Black households/communities, and fought for their people to have better living conditions.

Then there's another man who was socialized as a krakkah & took an oath to serve amerikkka, NOT for Black people.

U R still sayin' 'our nation', so U R showin' were ur mindset is @, cuz U think U've made it!

Gimel: @Icepick - Once again, you are making the wrong argument, brutha. President Obama is Dr King and Brother Malcolm's dream realized. Rather you like his stance on politics or not. I have my beefs with American politics and economic structure, as I'm sure you do. However, this is where I live and I will continue to make my brothers dream realized on the front of freedom, justice and equality as they did. President Obama is an elected official. If you are saying that he had to grow up in the mean streets of Chicago to get credit as a black man, that is the wrong argument. He is the president of the United States. He can't just be for black people. Dr King was not only for black people. He was for EQUALITY. "I dream of a world where little black boys and little white girls can hold hands..." - Dr King

Melanie: Amen Gimel. I don't like the whole Obama is not black enough meme. If he wasn't claiming his blackness, then people would be up in arms about that.

Ice: @gh- Just because U can't don't have any clarity regardin' my post doesn't mean that I am wrong.

U R talkin' about a lecture King delivered in 1963, which wasn't even called 'I Have A Dream'. The media designated it as such. By the time King made his transition in '68 his views were changin' on certain fronts.

It's not about where O-bomba grew up, he came out of a caucasoid's pu$$y & was nurtured by them.

King didn't grow up in the 'hood, yet he was a very couageous man who did what he felt was right, in order to obtain his goals. King was socialized by a Black family & community.

U need to stop tryin' to read into my posts so much bruthah, cuz ur assessment has been way off.

Just cuz U wanna assimilate with the oppressors doesn't mean everyone else feelz the same way, bruthah.

Melanie: so anyone with a white mother and a black father is not culturally black....unless this person grew up in the hood. what about if he mother was black and his father white?

Gimel: @IcePick I didn't say you were wrong. I disagree with your argument, which as men I have a right to do, as you do. As for reading into things, I'm going by your words in conjunction with tis photo. You clearly don't know me, because your assimilation with the oppressor comment is way off base. I love my people and I defend my people rather the grew with white's or wolfs. My allegiance to blackness asks me to uplift and empower us to a place of prominence and leadership. Whereas you have decide to take shots at myself and the president because we don't share your view on where Black America should be headed. I love you though. But like I said before, you have chosen the wrong argument.

My horoscope today (Virgo)

2012-02-09T11:03:00.001-08:00

Don't fall into the "poor me" trap today, Virgo. When things repeatedly don't go the way you want, or bad things happen to you, it can be very easy to fall into a victim mentality. Yet while we can't always control what happens around and to us, we always have the choice as to how we're going to handle it. Grieving can be a critical element to healing, but there's a fine line. Choose to keep going and insist on being better to yourself.

Happy Thursday

2012-02-09T11:00:00.001-08:00

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood of my head!

TeeWillis?

2012-02-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

Where / hoooowwwwww arrrreeee yooouuuuuu? I could just call or text or send you a private message but then that wouldn't be as fun. Love you miss you.

My new novel

2012-02-08T19:59:00.000-08:00

I started my new novel today. Posting the chapters of THE NIKEL has inspired me I think. I wrote THE NIKEL so long ago and each time I post a chapter I resist the heavy urge to write it over and "grow up" the language and develop the characters more. It's humbling. Also, this new novel has grown in me so deep. So heavy. They aren't even related. These two stories wouldn't even be sold in the same bookstore let alone be put on the same shelf. Not because this one is all genius and shit but, the stories are just so far apart from each other that's all. I'm not ready to tell you the name of it. You know I will when I'm ready. But not now.

I will say this about it though, someone inside of me or hovering around me is dictating it. I got this same feeling when I was writing WOMEN IN THE VILLAGE. Someone wanted her story told and for some reason chose me.

I'm embarrassed to tell you that I am afraid of this woman sometimes. Not like she will hurt me but because I'm afraid of being scared, like "BOO!" I'm low key scared of going crazy. She wants her story told though. She does and she chose me. Maybe one of the WOMEN referred me. Gee thanks.

I love you

2012-02-08T16:07:00.001-08:00

What my Yogi tea bag said today

2012-02-08T16:01:00.001-08:00

"Love what is ahead by loving what has come before."

Amy Winehouse - Back To Black

2012-02-08T15:25:00.000-08:00