James Jacobson's Posts - I Remember Love

Is it Too Soon to Get a New Dog?

2009-05-04T22:12:41.337Z

"Do you think it's too soon?"
That's the question Aly sent in the other day. Her story brought tears to my eyes, and I wanted to share it - and my answer - with you.

Here's Aly's email:

My name is Aly and i am 16 years old.
My Family recently had a house fire and
we lost our dog.

He was really close to us becuse as long
as i can remember he's been around. We had
gotten him out of the house but we think he
went back in to look for my mom and older
brother who were not home that night.

But anyways more to the point of this,
every one else in my family seems to think
that we have to get another dog right away.

Do you think its to soon??
I mean we only lost our dog (Duke) a
month ago and they are acting like it
never really happended.

I guess i wouldn't really mind if we got
a new dog right away but the fact that we
have to get the exact same dog as before
because my dad said that it was the same dog
or no dog at all.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Thanks,
Aly

My response is here:

Dear Aly,

Thank you for writing. Your questions are big ones, and I'll do my best to answer from the heart.

First of all, I'm really sorry that Duke died. He sounds like an amazing dog, to go back in to a burning house to look for your mother and brother. It's obvious that he really cared about you all, or he would not have risked his life like that.

And you are a really good dog owner to think so carefully and deeply about what to do next.

Everyone grieves in very different ways. Some people cry for a long time, and really focus on the pain of losing their loved one. Others clam up about it, saving their tears for private moments. Others pretend that nothing happened, that it was all not a big deal. There are as many ways to express grief as there are people.

So I'm not surprised that you are feeling differently than other family members seem to. All of you are going to react a little differently, it's totally natural. It doesn't mean that any one of you cares more or less than the others, either, it just means that you process the grief differently.

The bottom line answer to your question "Do you think it's too soon?" is I don't know. There is no rule set in stone about how soon to get a new dog. It is such a personal decision to make, I can't possibly tell for sure.

No dog will ever replace Duke. Duke has his own special place in your hearts, and no dog will ever act, look, feel, or be Duke. It's impossible. My new puppy, Kanga, is a Maltese, just like my wonderful Maui was. But even though she looks a LOT like Maui did at her age, she is a completely different dog! I couldn't replace Maui if I tried, and you will never be able to replace Duke.

Since you are not the decision maker (it sounds like Dad is), I would give you this advice during this time:

1. Don't make any rules for yourself about when or what kind of dog to get. Your new dog will be the PERFECT new dog for you, somehow, no matter what. Since you don't have full control over which dog or when to get it, just try to relax about it. If Dad insists on getting the same kind of dog, be as supportive as you can. He is dealing with his own grief his own way, and any dog will be lucky to be with you all. It doesn't matter whether the dog looks like Duke or not, it will be its own dog and you will love it for itself (and likely, so will your Dad).

2. Say everything you need to say to Duke so that you can focus on and take joy in your new dog. One of the best things I did when I was first dealing with Maui's death was to go over her whole life, out loud, on video. I talked about the first day I saw her, funny things she did, what she loved to eat. I told the whole story of her life right up until that day. It was so moving to go over all of it, and I felt so close to her. It really helped me to see why I cared so much and missed her so much. It helped me to grieve fully. You can still do this with Duke, just talk to him as if he is with you. Record it or videotape it so if you need to you can play it back.

3. Go easy on yourself. You have suffered a major loss - and a fire can be very scary. Don't expect yourself to just "be OK", and don't expect others in your family to react in certain ways, either.

There are no rules on how to deal with loss, or how to move on. So I just encourage you to relax, be honest with yourself and others about what you want, and let things flow as naturally as possible.

I guarantee that you and everyone else will know when it is the right time to get another dog. And you will also "know" your new dog when you meet him or her. It will be obvious to all of you. In the meantime take care of yourself and your family.

Thanks again for writing,

James

Kanga meditates with me

2009-03-13T21:44:43.961Z

This morning Molly snapped a couple of pictures while Kanga and I were meditating together. Note her eyes are half open/half closed. That is what I call hound lounge in my book How To Meditate with Your Dog.
Kanga is still a puppy of course (almost 5 months now)...but she is becoming a champion meditator.

I can not tell you how good we both feel after a meditation session--especially first thing in the morning before the work day starts.

Notice the white bathrobe? Just like I share in my book, that is my favorite meditation clothing. Kanga has taken it a step further by rear-ending her way into the robe so she gets closer to me and just the front part of her body peeks out.

Here is another picture Molly took....

I would love to hear your comments below. Better yet, please upload a picture of you and your dog meditating together.

Yes, I am alive....

2009-03-06T03:03:08.210Z

I just looked at the last message I posted on this blog, and it was a holiday card!

Wow, time flies when you have a puppy.

Many people have written to ask if everything is OK.

The short answer is: Yes.

Kanga is doing extraordinarily well, which is to
say that she is full of spunk and personality
and healthy and thriving.

I couldn't be more in love with her. And yet ...
...she is a completely different dog than Maui.

Now, I know many of you are chuckling and thinking
"Well, of course she is."

But others of you who have recently lost your "heart
dog" - which Maui was to me - will understand how
just plain disconcerting it can be to love a dog
and think of her as "yours" but also think "she's
not really my dog."

Maybe that doesn't make sense.

Suffice to say that I adore Kanga and also have
found little pockets of grief over the loss of Maui.

Molly says this is to be expected, and I know she
is right.

And Kanga is totally happy to just be her own doggy
self. I can tell that she's in this for the long
haul and perfectly happy.

I have a little short video of her and I'd love to get your thoughts below.

Find more videos like this on I Remember Love
Next week I'm going to send some footage of her
doing her FAVORITE thing ... running on the beach
with Dad.

Until then, be well and take good care of yourself
and your dog(s)!

Holiday Wishes

2008-12-24T19:05:43.853Z

I just wanted to send you a quick note to let you know that I am thinking
of you at this very special time of year.

It has been a challenging year for me with
the loss of Maui on July 25--but now, six
months later, I am feeling much better and
I have you and the entire IRememberLove.com
community to thank.

Our community of on-line dog lovers has
grown and I am so grateful and a bit humbled
by the legions of people who have connected
with the lessons of love that our dogs
teach us.

Now that a new puppy has graced my life--
the ultimate Christmas present--I am once
again reminded of how much our canine friends
have to share.

As Molly, Kanga and I snuggle this evening,
I will say a special prayer of thanks for
all my blessings--and please know that you
will be high on my list.

Please accept my heart-felt wishes to you
and all your loved ones for a peaceful
holiday season filled with joy...and at
least one or two doggie kisses.

Aloha,

James Jacobson

Kanga arrives in time for Christmas

2008-12-18T22:10:09.585Z

I am so proud to introduce you to my new meditation partner, my new puppy--Kanga!
She arrived home this week and quickly plopped herself down under our Christmas tree as the special present she is.

I will be writing more in the coming days about what it is like to bring home such an amazing ball of love, but I have been extremely busy working on my dog cancer project.

If you are interested in learning about the new company which is currently in clinical trials on an all-natural supplement to help dogs with cancer, you can watch a video I posted online.

The address is http://functionalnutriments.com/overview/
The password to access the presentations is: dogsloveus

Introducing My 2 New Puppies...

2008-11-25T21:39:27.824Z

Here they are. The litter consists of three dogs, 2 girls and a boy. Molly and I are adopting the two girls.
Find more photos like this on I Remember Love

Portrait of Maui for my birthday

2008-11-10T08:34:17.265Z

My birthday was last week and I have started my journey for a new puppy in earnest.

Molly commissioned a beautiful portrait of Maui which just
arrived in the mail yesterday. The artist painted it from several
photos that Molly emailed to her.

I am blown away by the likeness and am impressed with all the
details that Molly asked the artist to include (such as my favorite
flower: the bird of paradise and my favorite bird that reminds me of
my beloved puppy: an egret).

The painting is now hanging in my office and is reflected in the mirror
that hangs over my desk so I can see in no matter where I look.

She is sort of sitting over my shoulder and so when I look up
from my computer, I see her smiling face. I am so thrilled.

Thank you to Molly and everyone who has written me to help
me these past few months. :)

********UPDATE********

So many people have asked the name of the artist, so here is the info:

The artist's name is Angie Ketelhut and her website is
http://www.artbyangie.com.

If you decide to get a portrait made, let her know I sent you and I think
she will give you a little *special* attention.

Aloha

James

a new puppy for my birthday?

2008-10-22T03:15:28.722Z

This adorable Maltese puppy is from Lynn Allen's blog

It is getting to be that time.

Maui passed about three months ago and I now
am hearing the distinct sound of puppy paws
in my future. How soon, I do not know...

...but I do have a birthday coming up later
this month...and I always wanted a dog for my
birthday when I was a kid. In fact, my
parents promised me one when I turned 10.

I never got one when I was 10. In fact, I didn't
discover the joys of my own dog until I was in
my twenties.

I am old enough to get a puppy on my own now...

So, maybe this could be a VERY SPECIAL birthday!

(Molly has been dropping hints)

We will see...and I would like to include you in
the process. That is why I plan to post some videos right here on
http://IRememberLove.com about the search for a new dog.

Stay tuned!

my embarrassing confession

2008-09-17T20:42:40.908Z

I have an embarrassing confession I want to make to you. First, let me catch you up on what
has been happening...

Molly and I just came back from a few days on
Lanai--which is a lovely island just a few miles
off the coast of Maui. We were celebrating our
first wedding anniversary at the beautiful
Four Seasons Manele Bay where we were married.

One of the things I like most about the resort
is that they allow small dogs. When I made the
reservations, I had made it for 3...

...but, of course, Maui wasn't with us in the
physical, but we certainly we felt her spirit.

The hotel even had a note card in the room welcoming
Maui back to the hotel. (They had provided a
food dish and a special dog bed last year.)

It was sad that she wasn't with us, but the gift
shop at the hotel had a little stuffed dog that
bears a striking resemblance to Maui.

(Of course, I got it and the plush toy occupies
a place of honor in our home--my meditation chair.)

Now, here is the confession...

Over the past few weeks...

I have been spending a bit of time doing personal
reflection and focusing on what I want to
attract or draw into my life. A lot of people
call this process "manifesting" and I kind of
like that concept. It is something I have been
doing my whole life (on a subconscious level) as
an extension of my meditation practice.

One of the most effective ways that I have
discovered for manifesting consciously is to visualize on a
deep level exactly what it is I want to manifest.

I used to make "dream boards" by pasting photos
and images and headlines from magazines and catalogs
on poster board. I would then put the dream board in
my office in a place that I could see it when I looked
up from my work.

The images and words reminded my subconscious mind
of what I wanted to draw into my life.

While the process has always worked, I must say that
the dream boards often raised questions and a bit of
judgmental scrutiny from people who came to visit.

I was embarrassed when clients saw pictures of beautiful
women, new cars, large tropical island homes, and even
Oprah. (That was actually what was on my dream board a
few years ago...and it worked: I met and married Molly,
I bought the new car I wanted, I purchased a gorgeous
executive home a block away from the beach in Maui, and
I met Oprah -- and I even flew on her private jet.)

So while I knew the process of manifesting with dream
boards worked, I just didn't like my personal desires
staring strangers in the face. I didn't like the scrutiny.

That is probably why I haven't made a dream board in
a while.

But I didn't stop manifesting. Here is what I did...

Instead, I have been doing conscious manifestation
exercises by renting DVDs from Netflix
that gave me the feelings and images and stories I want
to draw deeper into my life.

After all, watching the moving pictures is way more
powerful than staring at a poster board. Combine that
with the riveting musical score that many films use
to "create atmosphere" and I have found a great way
to bathe my subconscious mind with powerful imagery.

So basically, for the past few years, I have been
consciously watching videos to help me manifest.

That is why I got so excited when I learned about
http://www-mindmovie.com

They have a kit that easily lets you
build your own manifestation video which you can
watch on your computer, iPod or even your big
screen TV.

I love how easy it is to build the movies and I am
working on my own to draw the next big pieces to my
life. (Which includes a new dog!!!)

So, I encourage you to check out the introduction at:

http://www-mindmovie.com

...and while you are there, you can download your
own free mind movies -- 6 of them.

But mind movies are much more
powerful if you make them yourself using your
own pictures and music. To check out the
software kit that is on sale for half price now,
go to:
http://www-mindmovie.com/try.html

So, that is my embarrassing confession as well
as my STRONG recommendation. Please check it
out and let me know what you think by
commenting below.

By the way, the kit is on sale for 50% off now
and includes over $2,000 in bonuses. If you
are curious, check it out -- as with most
online purchases, it is backed by a satisfaction
guarantee so if it doesn't work (or you don't
like it), they will buy it back from you. See it yourself
http://www-mindmovie.com

I am still kicking...

2008-08-27T09:07:51.281Z

I know it has been a couple of weeks since
I wrote last, so I wanted to drop you a line
and let you know that I am still kicking.

There are still many sad moments like today
when I passed the dog treats
aisle at the Safeway and I felt those familiar
pangs of "I should buy Maui one of her favorite
treats"...

...then I "remembered" that there was no dog
at home waiting for me to return from the store.

The good news is that with each passing day, those
sad moments are fewer, the sting less harsh, and
the recovery time much faster. (Thank goodness
for meditation.)

So life is--and I have been getting by those
sad times by thrusting myself into my work. I
have been working with Dr. Dressler, Maui's vet
on a very cool project that I think will help
a lot of dog lovers. Details will be coming soon.
(I promise.)

I am also planning a romantic getaway with Molly
to celebrate our first wedding anniversary in
early September.

Thank you again for your kind emails, letters
and messages. I appreciate them all.

This transition has inspired me in some beautiful
ways which I am now just finding the words to
descibe. Stay tuned for those...

In the meanwhile, please keep supporting one
another in our amazing community here at
http://IRememberLove.com.

2 Amazing True stories after Maui passed

2008-08-06T22:37:19.738Z

It has been almost 2 weeks since Maui passed and I am just now getting back to my regular schedule.

I recorded a video to share a couple of amazing experiences that happened shortly after Maui passed.

Some of the stories I share in the video may seem a little woo-woo, but they are 100% true.

(Fair warning: I have grown a beard in the last few weeks--let me know what you think.)

Find more videos like this on I Remember Love
http://www.irememberlove.com/video/video/show?id=2013722%3AVideo%3A29275

Do You Remember Love New design

2008-07-16T07:58:44.587Z

It has been many months and millions of
viewers since I launched "DoYouRememberLove.com"
to celebrate Maui and all that she has taught me
about love.

I decided to change the look of the site and
give it a more web 2.0 look and also make it
easier for people to share the video with their
friends--so it has undergone a re-design which
I just put up today.

Please check out the new design at http://DoYouRememberLove.com and please post your comments below.

Thank you.

Globe-trotting dogs

2008-07-16T07:46:23.979Z

I have traveled around the world and for 13 years, I used to commute between Washington DC and Maui--a total of 72 round trips. But I have nothing on this pair of Scotties.

Take a look at all the places they have been. It is pretty amazing.

Great news! Biopsy results show no cancer...

2008-07-02T06:05:08.124Z

I am so happy to report that Tuesday afternoon my friend
Dr. Dressler got the results for the biopsy he performed
on his dog last week. And it is great news:

It is NOT cancer.

What a relief. I am so touched that hundreds of people
wrote to me and many also left comments on IRememberLove.com
expressing how they were praying for Bjorn and hoping to
hear that the biopsy report would come back as negative.

Those prayers were answered and I must confess to you that
I wasn't sure what Demian would say when I told him that
so many of you were praying for his dog. (After all, he
is a man of SCIENCE.)

I am delighted he took it the way he did and believes the
prayers may even have helped bring about the positive results.

I videotaped him as soon as he got home and you have got to
see what this veterinarian says about prayer and the whole
process that he went thru with his beloved chow chow.

Dog cancer vet does a biopsy on his own dog - watch these videos

2008-06-25T07:55:06.137Z

A while ago I wrote that my good friend and Maui's veterinarian, Dr. Demian Dressler is researching and writing about dog cancer.

Well, here is some sad news...

Demian's beloved chow chow named Bjorn may have cancer.

Demian discovered an unusual spot in his dog's mouth recently and he had to do a biopsy on Monday.

At Demian's request, I videotaped the preparation for and the biopsy procedure itself. If you care about dogs and love dogs, you must watch both of these videos. (There is nothing gory at all.)

It may take a moment for these videos to load in this blog page, but it is well worth it. The first video is 3 minutes long, the second video is 5 minutes.

Please watch these and comment below.

Dog Cancer Biopsy Preparation

Please post your comments to these videos below.

Dog Cancer Biopsy Procedure

Please post your comments to these videos below.

Help Dr. Dressler and Win a $20 Amazon gift certificate

Also, if you are interested in taking a quick survey that will help Dr. Dressler in his dog cancer project, please visit his dog cancer website and take a quick survey. You may even win a $20 gift certificate to Amazon.com for your help. (The gift certificate drawing end June 30, 2008.)

How to give your dog medicine

2008-06-11T22:17:44.698Z

I have had a dickens of a time getting Maui to take her medicine recently.

I used to put it in a dab of cream cheese, but that no longer works.

I have tried disguising pills in little sandwiches of lamb, beef and chicken...
alas, she has caught on to that.

Just last week I discovered a miracle: pill pockets.

I am not sure why I never heard about them before, but they are ingenius.

You simple place the pill inside of this bowl-shaped-pill which is made of a meaty-textured protein material that dogs like. It kind of smells like commercially-available dog treats. I am not sure if they are the best thing in the world as a main component of a dog's diet, but they sure do the trick to get the medicine down.

I found them on Amazon.com and the shipping was free. (That is a good thing when you live in Hawaii.)

Check them out if you have problems getting your dog to take his medicine. Just click one of the packages below.

Also, if you have other ideas for ways to get the medicine down, please write a comment below.

Finally, here is a video from a vet who recommends these pill pockets.

The oldest dog in the world? And what she eats...

2008-05-28T22:53:59.280Z

Bella, the oldest dog in the world with owners David Richardson and Daisy Cooper. Photo credit: The Daily Mail

Reports are coming from England that the oldest dog in the
world is Bella, a labrador, who was brought home more
than 26 years ago--when she was already 3 years old.

That would make her 29 years old-- or over 200 years old!

The Guiness Book of World's Records is investigating the claim.

What I find really interesting--and what the media is not
reporting--is that last week Bella's owner, David Richardson
who himself is 76, thought it was the end for his faithful
companion.

Bella became ill and was unable to walk.

Mr. Richardson made an appointment with the vet and
prepared a grave in the back yard. He had a sleepless
night and when he awoke he decided to cancel the appointment
with the vet. He couldn't go through with it.

As Richardson reports:

'I phoned to cancel the vet because I just thought it
would be better if Bella died in her sleep. She couldn't walk,
but when I went out and filled in the grave she appeared
behind me and was stood there watching."

Since then Bella has been fine and the vet says Bella's heart
is strong and she is very fit for her age, except for some
arthritis in her legs.

What Bella Eats

Bella has only 2 teeth left and this is what her diet consists of:

Boiled liver
Canned stewing steak
Canned mackerel and
canned sardines

And Bella's favorite treat: a hard toffee candy which she sucks on while lying in her basket.

What to do with cute dog email stories

2008-05-08T23:17:39.380Z

Do you get email from friends with really cute stories?
Instead of (or in addition to) forwarding those emails to friends--or to me--I have an idea:

Post those cute stories here on IRememberLove.

We set up a special forum just for posting those precious email stories.

There are akready some great ones on that forum, go check them out--and post your own!

Some cool videos -- Add Your own!

2008-04-16T10:05:12.859Z

One of my favorite things about IRememberLove.com is how easy it is to post videos for all to see.

The quality of the video image is amazing when you compare it to YouTube. For example, I just posted 2 videos. The first is a file off a TiVo featuring me on a San Diego TV station showing the reporter how to meditate with her dog.

The second video is actually a YouTube video featuring a whole bunch of talking dog videos. It only took me a couple of minutes to but both up. Check them out and please post some of your favorite videos of your dog (or someone else's dog). YouTube has lots. :)

I've Been Monkeying around on IRememberLove.com

2008-04-06T23:11:53.495Z

Aloha...
I have been monkeying around and working under the hood at IRememberLove.com to make this community even more robust, fun and entertaining. You can see a few of the enhancements in your My Page area. Things should look better and run faster than before.

Also, in the "its kind of fun to see where people come from" department, I have added a new gadget in the lower left side of the homepage that shows where people are arriving from and how they got to IRememberLove.com. Check it out and see if it accurately shows your arrival on the site. :)

I am always eager to hear your comments about how we can make this community even more robuts. Just add your comment to this blog entry by clicking the COMMENTS link below.

Thanks for being a part of this social network. I am glad you are here. Be sure to tell your friends.

Aloha.

New customization of your IRememberLove page in a flash

2008-03-26T21:27:33.710Z

We have added new templates so you can easily customize your page. You can check my page out to see one of the new ones.

If you want to add a custom template to personalize your page, just click on customize my page. It is easy and takes a couple of seconds. (Of course, you may spend more time than that selecting "the perfect" one for your mood.) The templates make it easy to change and you can put up new one whenever the urge strikes.

Go try it now.

It is the weekend-- a great time to relax and connect

2008-03-21T02:03:06.648Z

This is Easter weekend and lots of folks are getting together with family and friends. If you are going to be spending time with any dog-lovers, why not tell them about IRememberLove.

Although our community launched a few weeks ago, we are growing and that is because of everyone here who is contributing pictures, videos, and comments.

A few very brave souls are even starting their own blogs here. It is so easy to do.

I hope you will try it if you ever considered having a blog, now is the time. And it is so easy to do.

So, this weekend, please tell another dog lover about IRememberLove.com-- and please post a comment or picture. (I love looking at all the new photos of your cute dogs.)

Happy Easter.

Aloha,

James

Refining IRememberLove.com....

2008-03-07T17:17:42.296Z

I am enjoying the process of personally refining this site.
I see the potential here and am eager to open the doors soon to the community of doglovers who are a part of Do You Remember Love and Pack Wisdom.

This is going to be fun....

Aloha & Welcome to IRememberLove.com

2008-02-27T02:38:32.422Z

I am delighted that you stopped by to check out IRememberLove.com. Since I put DoYouRememberLove.com on the web on valentines day 2007, the idea of a community site has been in the back of my mind.

When I started getting dozens, then hundreds...and sometimes a thousand...messages a day from people who watched my three-minute movie and then read my book How to Meditate with Your Dog, I knew that we needed a place to share these wonderful posts with the world.

There are so many amazing dog lovers who I have had the good fortune to meet because of DoYouRememberLove.com and my book, that I knew there had to be an online community for all of us.

During the last 18 months, I met with a number of web developers who quoted ridiculous amounts of money to build such a site. That is why I haven't done it up until now.

Hand Made with Love by Me...AND YOU!

Recently I found some tools that even I could use to build out a social network community site...and so here it is.

IRememberLove.com is truly a place where members of the community can participate and help to form the community. Yep...that is right. YOU will have the ability to build out this site and share your good wishes and wonderful stories with fellow doglovers around the globe.

Here are some of the things that you can do right here on IRememberLove.com:

Put up photos of you dogs to show the world how cute/fierce/funny/wise they are
Post videos of your dog in action...(bonus if you add music and graphics)
Write your own blog and maintain it here for free using our easy and intuitive blog tools
Connect with other members and their dogs
Share inspiring and/or funny stories about your dogs (or dogs you know) in our Forums
Customize your page to reflect the real you and show the world your personality (and the personality of your dog)
Invite others to join IRememberLove.com
This is your community. Now, Go Explore.....