jamjam23

xmas 2013

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 18:56:00 GMT

Idea for xmas 2013

I will set it straight I am totally bah humbug when it comes to Christmas for various reasons, the main one being the fact that I have not been brought up in any religion let alone a Christian one. By not brought up, I mean (and this is illegal I believe) I did not attend a single Assembly, RE lesson or meeting where my elders closed their eyes and made wishes to gods. I was even booted out of the cubs on the first day for not doing the lords prayer.

However religion is not the be all and end all to Christmas and I understand the celebration of family and friends is important to some people and it overrides all the religious claptrap.

Now not being of a religion does not mean I have no morals, I can see from one step removed a lot of the tropes in the religious dogma’s trouted out is just moral guidance of how to be good wrapped up in a fairytale.

Which leads me back to Christmas, this is suddenly turned into a capitalist arms race, find a gift , receive a gift, but these gifts are just things, is an Ipad enough, is a Tie enough, the answer is probably no, yet we struggle through November and December bankrupting ourselves for a fleeting moment of happiness and then spend the early part of the following year skint.

Who benefits, well you feel good for buying the gifts, the recipient briefly feels good, but if you are really honest, it is the shops and the banks that benefit most.

The biggest waste at Christmas though is the gifts people call stocking fillers. You know the ones, they cost £10 and they sell them in the queue at Topshop and Next. Mini shot glasses sets, Knicker hankies, table tennis bat sized fly swats, Stylophone’s FFS Stylophones no one wants a Stylophone surely!

Well the idea is to do away with these stocking fillers and the answer of how is really easy.
Charity Shops.
For Christmas 2013 I urge all Secret Santa’s, gifts for in laws and cousins who you would normally spend less than £20 on, be bought from a charity shop….and with gift aid if you can.

Who gains.
You do, you will spend less money and enjoy the shopping experience
Charities do, your money will not go to the bottom line of a big store
The recipient does, plus, if they do not want it, they can always re-donate the gift they receive.

It is after all the thought that counts.

So who is in?

Oompa loompa fight

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 13:25:00 GMT

I am no detective but this Sunday morning it was easy to piece this crime scene together. It started with dropped wkd outside the kebab shop and escalated.

Ancoats

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 10:24:00 GMT

I was early for a shoot yesterday so had a wander.

I like urban decay for some reason, something about imagining what was there and peeling back layers. Am secretly amazed how retro floppy discs can look.

Ancoats

How I invented contact lenses.

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 10:10:00 GMT

Honestly I did invent contact lenses, but it was one of those accidents that happen all the time. It started with a fist fight. Bernard and me had been arguing about our new designs for cling film. I had insisted on making it magnified in order to make food look bigger. An aesthetic which I thought was a sure fire winner, Bernard on the other hand thought I was a cock.
Bernard you see was new in town and on an "I can do no wrong" high, having just developed rubber gloves that looked like the real gloves of a glamorous lady like Joan Collins, and not like something you would wash up with.
Anyway you have probably put two and two together already, what with me mentioning magnifying cling film and a fight, but you are wrong, I did not smash Bernard's face into my cling film and then attempt to gouge him and when I let go he could miraculously see without his glasses. That did not happen. What did happen was that Bernard, wearing his stupid rubber lady hand gloves could not get the magnified cling film off the roll, he called me a cock yet again so I grabbed the roll of cling film and smashed it in his stupid bespectacled face. His classes smashed in to several pieces and his nose gushed blood all over the worktop. Bernard then retaliated by punching me in the solar plexus whilst muttering that "hitting someone in glasses is below the belt".
This got me thinking and as I crunched my knee into his testicles I had a eureka moment, poly-methyl methacrylate could be made into a small lens in the eye. Then I really beat the shit out of Bernard. Bernard is a pussy. Bernard went on to invent high heel flip flops. I won the nobel prize for chemistry. Bernard works in the R&D department at JML. Who is a cock now Bernard.

sun seagul

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 10:07:00 GMT

The wave caught me out, as it crashed onto my toes and its ice coldness crept up my leg. It had never happened before, I am normally agile on the beach, and can easily out manoeuvre a wave. I believe I believe the shock of it all contributed to me droping my i-pod. I tell you this as it was the last thing I recall before the seagull flew into my ear deafening me for life.

Police cut backs

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:43:00 +0100

Not complaining as the heli-chopper the cops use at night is super loud, but a stealthy airship for patrols has got to be a wind up.

I kid you not, a police blimp, click photo to enlarge

Reading list

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 17:43:00 +0100

The worlds most specific book,
unfortunately does not cover Taiwan., or it would sell like hot Geoff Capes.

Squarial

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 17:40:00 +0100

This is one of the houses that backs on to mine,
It is 2009 and yes that is a squarial.

Aye its gone

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Wed, 2 Sep 2009 07:54:00 +0100

The b of the bangs last legs.

Who writes this.

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sat, 1 Aug 2009 22:52:00 +0100

Its all gold. why has this guy not got his own show. What if we all looked like the no profile shot ha i would never ever think of that it is almost the opposite of reality.

What in the heck

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 08:23:00 +0100

Is that. A tank on stilts with flags on? All i know is i had to wait while they moved it out of my way.

I am still twelve at heart.

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:40:00 +0100

Taking pictures of statues winkles because i still think it is funny.

I want to stay here

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:30:00 +0100

Its a hotel that looks like it is 1961. I imagine a velvet seated bar and hard beds made out of wood.

I can bullshit like the best of them.

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:59:00 +0100

But the quote in this trade mag made me spit out my tea.

I can bullshit like the best of them.

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:22:00 +0100

But the quote in this trade mag made me spit out my tea.

It is sad

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Fri, 5 Jun 2009 08:05:00 +0100

But lets face it the thing was a bit crap and not that big.

Someone was

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:57:00 +0100

Having a laugh this morning.

Someone was

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:53:00 +0100

Having a laugh this morning.

I read the book first

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Fri, 22 May 2009 19:59:00 +0100

Doubt the film will live up to it

Random pause

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:04:00 +0100

Jack lies down and remembers there is dog poo on the floor.

Disk lex sick

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:52:00 +0100

Joy division fans?

Alan needs a poo

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:43:00 +0100

Random pause shows sir alan pushing one out.

Cleaning out my trash

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:46:00 GMT

I found this, it is equally disturbing and strange on many levels.
Nazis, clearly no good, but on a donkey with a wooden gun?

---------------------------------------

Having thought about this a bit, I guess it is the equivalent of scallies trying to look hard on a bike that is too small for them.

Crap

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Fri, 6 Mar 2009 17:59:00 GMT

I keep buying seventees glass. Because its in the box. I bring it home check ebay and find it is only worth the two pounds i paid for it. Drat.

The boy who lost his laugh

podcast@jamjam23.com (jamjam23) — Sun, 1 Mar 2009 13:13:00 GMT

I remember this as a kid, the soundtrack is ace, you don't need to understand German to understand the weirdness. "The Baron" bought the kids laughter (probably for a million marks)
and this is the moment Timm got it back, by witnessing some classic slapstick. Heart-warming.
This program always reminds me of Kevin Keegan too.