Jan Yong

Certified

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 17:27:00 +0000

Because I can.

Looking to hire a driver?

I'm a face you'll never miss when you're in class.

I OWN!

FWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm such a thick skinned motherfucker.

Peace out! =)

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:14:00 +0000

I was searching for sources for premarital sex in teenagers and I happen to come across this bullshit website which is pretty much fucked up... and entertaining.. and fucked up.

Answer by FAG Submitted on 8/29/2005

Hi. I have sex with my dad every night, and he hasn't had his period for a while (he used to be a woman) so can he get pregnant if he's undergoing hormone therapy?

Answer by Doug Funny Submitted on 8/29/2005

If you have anal sex, be prepared to hear these words: Da Doy Daught Da Dasket Ball

Answer by LUE is teh KEWL Submitted on 8/29/2005
I HAVE AIDS LOLZ

Answer by http://www.BabyNames.com Submitted on 8/30/2005
You'll be needing this.

http://www.BabyNames.com

Answer by PenguinPedo Submitted on 8/31/2005
Having testicals increases your chances of getting a girl pregnant, to help prevent unwanted pregnancies please punch yourself rapidly in the testicals before sex.

Answer by angelhug Submitted on 8/31/2005
Hay i wuz just wunderin like can u get pregnant if ur bf jacks off in a shotof whiskey n pours it in ur cooter or i give him head n then eat sumthin n lick my fingurz n finger myself? i rly need 2 kno cuz i liek havnt ever had a period n im geting nervous and i like cake n my mom told me if i get pregnant i cant have any cake?Thanx luv u all

Answer by nappy d Submitted on 8/31/2005
hey meh gf and me had had the bset sexxor evar. but last nghit she told me shes a lsebain. we have unprottekted sex... can she get pegnant even fi shes a lsebain?

Answer by VGD Submitted on 9/2/2005
You guys are all retarded.

Answer by Bored. Submitted on 8/30/2005
How stupid are you people get an education, take sex ed and stay in school.

I swear I was mesmerized by these sheer amount of stupidity. Especially the joker who posted she likes cake and if she got pregnant her mom wont give her any cake ever LOL.

PEACE OUT =)

I do not comprehend

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 19:01:00 +0000

Warning : Long ass post

You know the times where you're just bored out of your own mind and porn just isn't as entertaining as it should have been. You'd search through the whole contact list in your MSN messenger to look for the perfect victim for one of your mischiefs.

Thats what I did and behold, The Chronicles of Jan Yong : The Verb, The Grammar and the Dumbass.

Victim : Suezan
Age : 19
Bimbometer : [ | | | | | | | ] - 80%
Codename : Waterfish ( 水魚 : shui yi)

<---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

It starts with...

♪ sυεzαи. says:
why i never hear you speaking in chinese

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
coz my chinese sux

♪ sυεzαи. says:
i think so too

♪ sυεzαи. says:
haha

♪ sυεzαи. says:
like a banana boy only

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
then wad

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
like u ah

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
chinabeng only

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
speak england so lousy

♪ sυεzαи. says:
lousy meh

♪ sυεzαи. says:
you sux lah. say i chinabeng

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
i suck

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
not i sux

♪ sυεzαи. says:
what's the differnt between i suck and i sux.

One thing, I don't know why..

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
it'll be

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
you suck

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
or suezan sucks

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
not you sucks

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
and suezan suck

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
understand or not

I doesn't even matter how hard you try...

♪ sυεzαи. says:
OMG i said you sux lah. since when i used the S

♪ sυεzαи. says:
where got s you tell me lah. open your eye wider

♪ sυεzαи. says:
do you need another pair of spec

♪ sυεzαи. says:
GRR

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
SUX = SUCKS

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
U DUMBO

♪ sυεzαи. says:
you say only what

♪ sυεzαи. says:
my sux is equal to SUCK without the S

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
HOW DOES SUX SOUND LIKE SUCK

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
wtf

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
u made ur own language somemore

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
so sorry i couldnt understand YOUR language

♪ sυεzαи. says:
sux is pronounce at suck wihout S

♪ sυεzαи. says:
is international language lah

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
sorry sorry i'm wrong

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
you're right

♪ sυεzαи. says:
talking to your make me IQ goes lower HAHA

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
sorry la i stupid mar... i didnt know that language so hard to understand

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
lucky you teach me or else ppl sure laugh at me

♪ sυεzαи. says:
i want to ask are you just been sarcastic or what

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "I'm sane, its the world that's crazy!" says:
i might be

<---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

In the end, I couldn't comprehend. I'm still pretty shocked actually. Thought it might be fun to share it with you guys, no?

Peace out! =)

Fuel prices hikes again!

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:19:00 +0000

When?

Effective from Wednesday midnight.

How much?

A whopping 78 cents which totals to a whopping RM2.70 per liter and an ugly RM2.58 for diesel.

I'm sure this is a major issue for every Malaysian as this increase in petrol prices is the biggest margin we have ever had. Inflation is inevitable for this time's increase in petrol prices. What's gonna happen to us? Well, expect your regular bowl of pan mee to downsize in portion topped with an increase in price.

Someone said that petrol prices wouldn't soar until September. I'm quite sure everyone knows that old man.

Likewise, this is the time to use my Economics lecturer's ideology in which he has always been obsessed with ever since i took Economics in ICPU.

Mr.Moaz : "The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations...The government should invest in public transportations..."

Right! Thank you Mr.Moaz, we are heavily affected by the increase in petrol prices mainly because most Malaysians owns a car rather than using public transportations. More money spent on fuel means a tighter budget, a tighter budget means a need for higher wages which is really the last thing you'd get from your boss.

And it doesn't seem that Malaysia has any excess money to spend on public transportations. Thanks to subsidizing our petrol and making it almost the cheapest in the world, we have nothing left to improve our infrastructure. Subsidizing to keep the petrol prices low for Malaysians was a good idea, but we're being taken advantage of.

Who?!

Our neighboring countries, Thailand and Singapore.

But how?!

Who wouldn't drive over the border and pump our cheap petrol? Sure we had some weird policy which goes foreigners within 10km from the border are not to be allowed to pump Malaysian petrol. But hey, are the petrol station's employees going to stop a customer from committing an act of purchase? I don't think so, or at least the person with the right track of mind wouldn't stop a customer from being.... a customer.

Some ideas I've gathered to that people can live with the heightened petrol prices.

1. Drive at your car's optimum speed.

2. Use the public transportations and get ready to smell some armpits or backsides if you're short.

3. Eat less so you can pump more.

4. Change your fuel consumption to a hybrid that uses gas as the price remains intact.

5. Ride a bicycle and run on your own natural fuel which you don't need.

6. Make use of your friends as means of transportations.

7. Lose some weight as more weight means more fuel to get your ass moving, fatso.

I witnessed jokers trying to save money before the fuel price increases at midnight. So all the cars would queue up to get the cheap prices before it increases.

I was innocent, I had 1/2 tank left so I didn't need to pump, I just needed burgers for my empty stomach. Turns out I was able to leave home and not come back until after midnight thanks to those jokers that are trying to save money.

Life

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 18:15:00 +0000

What is life?

What does it mean to be alive?

Does it mean to breathe? To exist? To survive?

Sometimes I wonder if we were brought into this world for a purpose.

If we hadn't, then why are we a part of this world?

Why do we strive to continue living on, knowing that obstacles are being thrown at us everyday?

Are we living for the sake of others, or for the sake of ourselves?

Or is it just for the sake of survival?

The moment we start living, we start dying.

Why struggle to cling on to life?

When we know that it will all be over one day?

Is it for the enjoyable memories that we shared that gets us through everyday?

Or the smiles of the close ones that we live by.

Why is life so uncertain?

Yet death is only certain thing in life.

To me,

Life is but a mere sensation.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Rundle Mall and the Northern Lights

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:33:00 +0000

For two consecutive days we went sightseeing and to tell you the truth, everyone was quite tired because theres too much to do and too little time.

So how do we continue to enjoy our stay in Adelaide?

Today we're supposed to take things easier and chill a little so I thought it might be nice to visit the universities in Adelaide to get a feel of how the studying environment feels like.

Sis and mom at the entrance to the Art Gallery of South Australia.

Only managed to visit two universities though which is the University of South Australia and the University of Adelaide.

One of my choices I guess.

The Art Gallery of South Australia.

The universities were designed in a truly artistic way. Sometimes when I look back at my college and compare it with the universities in Australia in terms of design I felt as though my college looks like a block of cheese.

University of Adelaide - Graduation Hall.

Out of coincidence my sister met one of her close friends when they were studying. That fellar looks like a pretty boy... poor thing. Haha.

Pretty boy - Pick Juan

Trying to be sneaky?

Damn.

University of South Australia.

I really suck at taking photos of the sceneries.. haha.

Thank god my sister is worst than me.

One of the coolest things I saw in Adelaide was the Northern Lights. No, this is not some Aurora North/South polar lights that can be observed in Alaska. During a certain festival, special projectors are deployed to give custom colors to the buildings at night. So in the daylight the building would look like what it used to be where as after the sun falls, the building would look very much different.

Northern Lights Festival!

Whoop! Changed color?!

I'm bad with words, I can't describe things well so let me use pictures instead since they're worth a thousand words.

Haunted house.

Weird ass color.

And this is how it originally looks like.

So after visiting the universities I got dragged along by my mom and my sister to go shopping. Once again shopping is not my sport, I don't have stamina for it. I'm a typical guy, if I ever need a pair of jeans or a t-shirt I would buy it and then walk out from the mall.

Smile! =)

If shopping was ever in the Olympics, it's gonna be a sport that puts even the gold medalist with the highest stamina to shame. Yes, it's that bad.

Why are there pigs everywhere around the mall??

Couldn't take much photos because I was the luggage carrier for the day.

I said to my mom "Eh, you think the stuff you two buy very light ah? I didn't come to Australia to do this!"

She replied "What makes you think I asked you to come Australia? I needed someone to carry my stuff."

Inside I was crying but thankfully I'm no good for nothing... at least. Fuck! =(

CIBO

Starbucks here pretty much sucks, other coffee cafes totally dominated it. So yeah, the "Starbucks" here is Cibo. Pronounced as "Shee-bou". Kinda cool I guess.

Since we're cooking at home, might as well shop for some groceries in the supermarket.

Lookie what I found!

Wonder if mom fed me any of "these".

When I was looking at the meat section, I thought I saw.... RED MAGGI MEE?!

Woah!

Guess not, but still yucky.

Then I guess we were done for the day. We were walking and I can't help to notice that some of the pavements have some weird ass dots on it. So being Detective Wong, I decided to investigate.

Shiny?!

Turns out that people stuck coins onto it when the cement hasn't harden up yet. No idea what they did but it didn't look too bad.

Coins!

How ya doin mite? =)

Barossa Valley, Jacob's Creek & Wolf Blass

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:15:00 +0000

March 30th

Well the day before was an exhausting day, me and my mom didn't had any time to rest or sleep before we headed to Victor Habour and worst of all, I didn't sleep a single hour ever since I landed in Australia.

God bless the bed for 6 hours.

After being briefed by Adrian of what we're going to do I was rather excited because the word "wine" was used and even better, the word "wine" and "tasting" were in the same phrase!

But before we pay a visit to the winery, we will be headed towards another tourism spot which is the Whispering Walls. It's a reservoir with a unique characteristic, it's called Whispering Walls for a reason. Don't worry, you'll know why soon enough.

Barossa Valley

As usual the journey is long and once again I fell asleep in the car due to the shitty speed limit. Problem is, police are dressed in plain clothes and they tend to use casual cars which means you won't know who's watching.... creepy.

So if you get caught speeding like umm... 50 but you're going 60 (yeah thats speeding, my goodness the word "speeding" seems so strong for such a low limit) Thats a ticket that costs you 200 $AUD. Not scary enough? Every day that you refuse to pay your ticket, it just accumulates higher and higher. Now would you still want to "speed"?

Zzzz...

The weather today was rather cloudy but cold with a few shower that lasts no longer than 10 minutes.

Raining soon...

Adrian decided to use his feelings to guide his way to Whispering Walls instead of listening to the GPS because he suspects it's leading us to some other place.

Thanks Adrian, you got us to some other reservoir.

Finally we reached the Whispering Walls.

Sounds like some kotex brand.

It was pretty cold, just like the day before.

Karen and Adeline camwhoring.

Adeline and my sister camwhoring.

The unique thing about the Whispering Walls is that it's built in a way where if a person speaks at one end of the reservoir, the person at the other end could hear it perfectly. Exactly like a whisper. Cool huh? It's kinda scary too to hear the wall speaking to you of all sudden.

Thankfully I thought about my blog so I took a few snapshots so you guys who've haven't been there could have an idea how it looks like.

So you whisper to the walls from this end.

And the jokers at the other end can hear what you said. Nifty huh?

My sister and Adrian.

Sis, mom, son.

Bro and Sis.

Lone ranger.

Next stop?

Jacob's Creek

Entrance.

Happy me and stoner mom.

Stoners.

I've got a feeling I'm gonna love this place.

Welcome!

It's not packed but we've gotta wait for our turns to taste some wine.

Finally I get to taste some wine! Not like I know how to taste wine but at least it's something different from the usual hard liquor Chi Khan feeds me.

Since I don't know nuts about wine, I just bought the wine that tastes sweet which is the the desert wine.

Wolf Blass

Eagle Adrian.

Bonding session between me and my sis.

Entrance.

Rack 'o goods.

Debating which wine is the best.

Poser.

Aussie Trip! - Victor Harbour

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:21:00 +0000

Lets turn back time to the past 9 days.

Why?

Cause I was in Australia.

What?

Cause I wanted to attend my sister's convocation ceremony.

Where?

South Australia - Adelaide.

Which?

University of South Australia.

How?

Swim.

Let the journal begin...

28th March, 6.00 p.m.

All luggage packed and was ready to leave the house anytime to check in.

9.00 p.m

Boarded the plane and departed.

The flight would take 7 hours and an additional 2 and the half hours due to Australia being 2 and the half hours ahead of our time. So the time for arrival at Australia would be approximately 7 a.m.

I couldn't sleep on the plane because I was too excited to be able to meet up with my sister that I missed quite terribly.

So?

I kept disturbing the air stewardess to give me wine so I can sleep. Too bad the wine taste like crap and I stopped like after 5 cups but I ain't getting nowhere near to sleep. I was forced to watch shitty movies including cartoons - Kim Possible but it ain't so bad after all.

Shitty food.

At 7 a.m me and my mom arrived at the airport and my sister's boyfriend was supposed to pick us up. The weather was superb, cold like Genting, probably colder just the way I like it.

And... look what I found in the toilet!

Pretty cheap, if you don't convert it into Malaysian Ringgit.

My sister had work until 5 p.m so me and my mom had to chill out at her house together with her house mates during lunch.

When my sister came back from work and we headed to Victor Harbour to enjoy our first sightseeing.

Victor Harbour

Since nobody remembers how to go there, we took out our trusty GPS to guide our lost souls to our destination.

It wasn't exactly far from where my sister stays but due to the speed limit, the journey seemed so much longer considering the cap was 60 km/h on normal streets, 50 km/h in the city and 80-110 km/h on highways.

With my inherited fast paced Malaysian mentality on the roads, I dozed off after 10 minutes of the journey.

Adrian, me and my mom.

Finally we arrived and the weather is freezing cold but everyone is ready to see Australian Penguins! These cute little buggers are said to be the smallest penguins in the world, I say screw it and lets go penguin hunting!

Cute signboard.

The tour guide was pretty nice and treated everyone very nicely and thankfully her Australian accent wasn't heavy and everyone could hear clearly everything she was trying to tell us.

Adrian

Heading towards the other island in the cold ass weather with the wind blowing strongly continuously from both sides... brrrrrrrr

Adeline and Soo Ann - my sister.

The scenery was amazing, absolutely amazing.

Brrrrrrrr....

Me and my sister.

Whats wrong with eating ice-cream in a cold ass weather?!

Sadly, I couldn't get any pictures of those midget penguins because they only come out at night. I tried my best but I just don't have enough skills to get those buggers in the camera. Yeah I suck, but thats great.

Good die mite! =)

BIMBO!

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:29:00 +0000

Theres this weird ass Aussie that I knew during ICPU that has been weird all my life (Alina) . There I was minding my own business and suddenly...!

I thought what the hell, her name was Alina not Allison so I decided to ask :

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
since when ur name change

allison says:
actually ah, my name was always allison but when i went malaysia my mum changed it to alina

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
screw u!

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
lanjiao

allison says:
HAHAHA

allison says:
why is your name jan yong and not CHEE yong???? HUH??

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
actually ah, my name was chee yong but when i came to malaysia which is where i came from my dad changed it on jan yong

allison says:
screw u!

allison says:
lanjiao

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
whats with the allison la?

allison says:
i dunno

allison says:
its sexier

allison says:
HAHA

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
wth?

allison says:
no lah, some guy over here got my name wrong the first time

allison says:
he thought i was allison

allison says:
then all the other guys started calling me allison

allison says:
thennnn i kinda liked it

allison says:
so i CHANGED MY NAME

allison says:
went to church and asked the pastor & everything

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
so if i called you ali baba

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
and everyone started calling u the same

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
you would like it?

allison says:
nooo

allison says:
but i like allison

allison says:
sexier than alina!!

<.Jan-Yong.> said : "ken leeeeee tilubu dibu douchoo" says:
thats like a pornstar's name wei!

allison says:
HAHA

End of retardism.

Peace out!

A.I.D.S.

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:09:00 +0000

What is AIDS?

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) is a collection of symptoms and progressive damage done to the immune system caused by Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) .

The immune system is formed by white blood cells, known as leukocytes that defends our body against bacteria, diseases and foreign materials we come in contact everyday. To put it in simple terms, our body is like a country whereas white blood cells are our military force which defenses the country whenever called for.

What AIDS does mainly is that it slowly or progressively damages the immune system. Eventually the immune system would be too weak to defend the body against any infection or bacteria that invades our system.

Without our defense system, our body is vulnerable to anything, even a common cold could bring death upon the victim. HIV can only be spread through blood transfusion and bodily fluid exchange. The virus is weak outside the body but strong when it's inside. To sum it up, it is difficult for the virus to spread in midair through our respiratory system.

However, there are claims where the virus wouldn't be able to spread through infected saliva of the victim. What if there are two individuals where one of them is infected with AIDS and the other is not but has sore throat, performs osculation (scientific term for kiss)? Having sore throat means that there is an open wound, wouldn't that be an opportunity for the virus to spread?

Furthermore, this virus has no cure at the moment, even in our modern society where science is very advanced, contracting AIDS would only have one outcome that is death.

Origins

HIV is most likely originated from chimpanzees in the southeastern rain forests of Cameroon. During that era, needles were the most common way of how did the virus made a jump from animals to humankind. There are plenty of other causes which includes open wounds which enabled the virus to enter the human body and also sodomization between animals and men.

In 1983, CDC (USA) warns the blood bank of the possibility of "unclean" blood supplies. However, the term AIDS was not used yet as it was not fully clarified yet. Through unscreened blood transfusion, the virus was able to freely spread from one individual to another.

There are a few claims where the CIA was responsible for AIDS. There are debates going on that the CIA sponsored a group of scientists to create the deadliest biological weapon ever known to mankind. They began testing on populations from Africa and also Haiti. They lost control of the experiment and the virus eventually infected most of the population in those countries.

Rumors include claims that the virus were also created in Hitler's laboratories and were developed by the Russians.

Cure/Treatments

There is currently no cure for AIDS. It kills like a slow poison from the day the body contracted the virus.

However, in Chicago, Thomson Financial found a potential breakthrough for AIDS. It was not a cure but instead a method to slow down the progression of AIDS. It wasn't much progression but considering this breakthrough, this might be a baby step for mankind to overcome this deadly virus.

The problem with finding a cure is that the virus has the ability to mutate so that the immune system doesn't recognize it as an enemy. The virus is able to mask itself making the immune system to think that it is not a foe.

Statistics

More than 25 million people have died from AIDS since 1981.

Africa alone has 12 million AIDS orphans.

At the end of 2007, women accounted for 50% of all adults living with HIV worldwide, and for 61% in sub-Saharan Africa.

Young people (under 25 years old) account for half of all new HIV infections worldwide.

In developing and transitional countries, 7.1 million people are in immediate need of life-saving AIDS drugs; of these, only 2.015 million (28%) are receiving the drugs.

Referrals :
Statistics
AIDS as a biological weapon
Origins of AIDS
How AIDS spreads
Potential cure for AIDS

Feel free to leave your comments.

Sad out =(

More obscenities!

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 11:01:00 +0000

Things not to say during sex

Get off me, I'll do it myself!
Smile for the camera!
Do I have to pay for this?
What's your name again?
I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!
No! You're too fat to be on top. You'd kill me!
On second thought, let's turn the lights off.
It's nice being in bed with someone I don't have to inflate.

Now, let's learn a little bit of psychology....

Why do males....

Struggle so hard to come out from their mom's vagina...

Just to spend their entire lifetime getting back in?

Who needs an automobile manufacturing factory when cars can do THIS?!

This girl here is definitely the bomb but she drives a hard bargain. What can she offer you? 4 boobs, and 2 mouth holes in exchange for no vagina nor ass for you.....damn.

Sucks to be that kid.

Retarded cartoons.

WTF?

Strippers.

Rotate the lever!

Ohhhh... kinky!

Whats love? I don't know, all I know is;

It's made out of 2 consonants ...
And 2 vowels ...
And 2 fools.

So how does one solve a love triangle?!

Easy, there are plenty of ways to solve this problem.

Recruit a fourth person, make it a square and divide it into half.

or

Take yourself out of the equation.

or

Solve the problem with a gun.

or

a=b^2+c^2-2bcCosA

or

All sides are equal.

By all means it makes no sense.

Peace out! =)

Ooi Chi Khan

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 10:57:00 +0000

Congratulations Mr. Ooi.

My company has chosen Ooi Chi Khan to model for our new teeth whitening product. There were hundreds of different candidates who applied to be part of our advertisement but none of them were as persistent as Chi Khan and so my company decided that he would be the chosen one.

"I've been smoking for so many years that I began to notice that cigarettes has taken it's toll on my teeth" - Chi Khan

The nicotine and tar stain on Chi Khan's teeth were a challenge to remove but with our company's newest product, nothing stand in it's way, nothing.

Remarkably Chi Khan was able to relive his white days before he started smoking.

Another satisfied customer.

What was my company's name again? I don't think I remember.

Peace out! =P

Bodybuilding - Supplement Facts

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:19:00 +0000

Supplements are crucial if you're into gaining mass and strength.

No, when I say supplements that could lead to more mass and strength gains it doesn't mean that I'm talking about steroids. Don't take the easy way out, your balls will suffer.

Creatine Monohydrate

Supplements are mostly naturally occurring chemicals that are harmless to the body. Creatine is a popular supplement for those who want to lift harder and heavier. You don't really need to buy the supplement because it can be found in red meat - beef.

So we can find it in red meat, why do I need the supplement anyway? Because the amount of creatine contained in the meat that you eat is too little. Half a pound of raw meat contains about 1g of creatine but from supplement you get at least 20g per serving. Unless you want to consume 16-18 steaks a day to get the same amount of creatine, get the damn supplement you idiot!

The only side effect you get from taking this supplement is that you can lift heavier and harder.

Protein powder

I guess no one's a stranger to protein. Definitely crucial to your workouts, but how? Muscle tears down (microscopic breakdowns) whenever you lift weights and eventually you will feel that soreness because of your damaged muscles. Protein repairs damaged muscle tissues and reinforces it so that the next time your muscles take the same shock, it'll be able to withstand it in other words - grow stronger.

Why take the supplement? You can't get enough protein from your daily meals. How much protein you need when you're working out? Typically 1 - 1.2 gram of protein per kilogram of your bodyweight would be ideal. Protein helps increase the rate of repair for your muscles and fortifies it stronger!

Themogenics (Fat burners)

Sounds attractive doesn't it? Thermogenics have been around for quite sometime and have been very much popular in bodybuilding.

After you gain those muscles, you would like to make them "look" more defined but not underneath a layer of fat. What would they do? Burn those fats with fat burners! However, thermogenics are dangerous because it messes with your heartbeat in order to make you sweat so you will burn extra calories. Sometimes it contains too much caffeine that it would make you drowsy or unable to sleep.

It's pricey and the end results are overrated but thermogenics definitely speeds up the progress of fat loss. Think wisely before buying.

Remember that bodybuilding is

60% Genetics
30% Dedication
10% Science

So if you're not planning to use any supplements you better pump up your dedication up to 40% if you want to account for the missing 10%.

Peace out!

Malaysia : Big changes ahead

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 15:16:00 +0000

Seems like the election results has gotten everyone heated up due to unforeseen results from voters. Thanks to that, we were supposed to lay low and preferably stay at home to avoid getting involved in riots. This year, BN didn't get 2/3 majority instead they lost a few precious states.

A change indeed, even in Selangor, a new Chief Minister have been elected. I guess the whole country must be celebrating Samy Vellu's resignation from his post - no more skyrocketing toll to pay!

Behold, the latest results on General Elections 2008

Barisan Nasional

Johor
Malacca
N. Sembilan
Pahang
Perak (Parliament only)
Perlis
Sabah
Sarawak
Tereggannu

Opposition - DAP/PAS/Keadilan

Kedah
Kelantan
Penang
Perak (State only)
Selangor

When my father told me BN was getting screwed, I thought the opposition actually got the upper hand but from what I can see, this feels like a small achievement that everyone is overrating. (crap I sound like a BN supporter)

But still! Considering the situation our country is in right now, it's not about who is the better choice but instead, any party is definitely better than BN at this point.

I still take no sides and if I ever wanted to side anyone, I'll support the party that no one gives a crap just to make things a little more interesting.

Errr... Malaysia Boleh!

Peace out!

A shoutout to the Smoker's Union

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:25:00 +0000

Your parents, your doctor, the government, the mass media had always said the same thing about smoking. It's bad for health.

What kinds of chemical compounds do you find in a typical cigarette?

A single cigarette contains more than 4000 chemical compounds and at the very least, 400 toxic substances. Not only this, the toxins are amplified due to heat factor. When a smoker inhales a cigarette, the tip of the cigarette is about 700°C and around 60°C at the core.

How is it bad?

As far as I'm concerned, lung cancer is a rare form of cancer if no one in the world smoked. To put it in statistical terms, only 0.5% of people who never touch a cigarette would have gotten lung cancer. This is the reason why smoking is ALWAYS associated with lung cancer.

And you thought by smoking you only risk your lungs?

It's not always about the lungs, smoking drastically increases the risk of contracting various forms of cardiovascular disease. Smoking speeds up the hardening and narrowing process of your arteries increasing the chances of blood clots 2-4 times more likely.

One in ten moderate smokers and almost one in five heavy smokers (more than 15 cigarettes a day) will die of lung cancer.

Research reveals that each cigarette shortens a smoker's lifespan by 11 minutes on average.

Thinking about stopping?

It's about time because it takes about 15 years before the risk of lung cancer drops to the same as that of a non-smoker. For people who plans to study abroad, you'll need a full body checkup before they approve your student Visa. Looking at your own X-ray wouldn't be pleasant because it's considered normal for smokers to have lung scarrings. Think about your family when they see it.

Smoking increases the risk of erectile dysfunction by about 50%. Yes, impotence for males and for females, babies are twice as likely to be born prematurely when the mother is smoking during the pregnancy period.

Muscles tend to grow at a slower rate due to smoking. Muscles needs to regulate oxygen and carbon monoxide from cigarettes just takes away most of it decreasing blood regulation.

Still think smoking is cool? Think again. This time, think harder.

Peace out!

Politics

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:16:00 +0000

Elections is on the 8th of March and I'm pretty sure everywhere around the country is having huge talks to influence the voters to side for them.

Just like what I saw yesterday.

"Harga Barang Naik"
BN

It's certainly obvious which party came up with the catchy phrase. Last night, nearby where I live, there was a talk in between DAP and BN. I wasn't really interested but I happen to pass by so I thought it wouldn't hurt to see both parties arguing at each other.

As always there has to be something that goes "We are better, we bring development" kinda of ideology by the politicians.

There was this old man representing DAP that also says that BN is too powerful which is why they would abuse their power. So this thought just came into me, if DAP would have had BN's current power wouldn't they too abuse it? Aren't they all the same? Give them a little more authority and there goes your freedom.

I'm not into politics, never will. But it kinda sucks to see them keep talking but not walking. I can't vote and I wouldn't be voting for any sides even if I could. Who ever said the grass is greener on the other side?

"It's time for a change."
Sounds good doesn't it? There is no guarantee that the opposition will perform better if they happen to take over.

Whichever side wins, we lose.

Peace out!

Vantage Point

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:00:00 +0000

As the movie title suggests, vantage means a point that is likely to provide superiority or advantage. This movie shows a variety of different point of views and perspectives of different people that are involved in an unfortunate incident that occurred in Spain.

The film takes place in Salamanca where the President of the United States was shot during an anti-terrorism campaign. The film loops back to the 20 minute period where the assassination took place with a different point of view from a different individual.

This movie feels as though we're given pieces of puzzles to put together a picture and eventually unfolding the truth. It was quite interesting considering the amount of perspectives the movie displays for the same incident.

However this movie was a little joke when I watched it. It's all because there were too many point of views that I had to go through and the movie loops back to the beginning every time an individual's part was done. What does that mean? It means you get to see the whole incident happening all over again! Not once, not twice, not thrice, probably more than 5 times.

There was a twist in the end though, not much of a twist but when the loop back stops, the movie finally starts to progress that's when the show gets really good because you even get to see what the bad guys are planning. The planning was magnificent and nearly flawless but what's a movie if the bad guy doesn't lose? Woops, spoiler I guess haha.

Overall I think this was a unique film compared to other movies I watched, definitely worth watching.

Peace out!

Little Genting

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:14:00 +0000

Last Saturday, a fine Saturday where I suddenly received an sms from Ming saying

"Let's go to a 5 star mamak to yamcha opposite Nikko Hotel only"

Then I was like "WTF? Go KL just for a miserable mamak considered 5 star?! Crazy!"

I immediately replied no way but due to unforeseen circumstances I found myself outside Ming's house fagging with Chi Khan getting ready to leave to KL.

I had nothing to do that night anyway so screw it might as well hangout with those jackasses.

Fairly nice shot I guess...

The funniest part was when Mei Wan heard that we're going KL, she thought we were going clubbing! HAHAHAHA! So she came with a pretty dress plus she was fully equipped to attack the clubs!

Jan Yong : "Mei Wan where you came from? Wear so nice wan?"
Mei Wan : "Hah? What're talking about? You wear liddat how to go dancing?"
Jan Yong : "Dance cock meh?! We going mamak lah"
Mei Wan : "HAH?!"
Jan Yong : "HAHAHAHA YOU EVEN HAD YOUR MASCARA ON!"

Too bad when she found out we were going to some Mamak she felt incredibly and demands for someone to send her back home so she can change her outfit.

I don't know who came up with some kind of 5 star mamak but the moment I sat down I dun feel 5-star'ish nor the people around me felt it to. To put it in simple terms, it's just like an average mamak stall, no difference it just has more fans and a mannequin and that's all to it.

Shitty mamak!

Mamak session was shitty though cause I had no money to eat and I ran out of fags thank god my supplier was with me. It was boring boring boring boring until a ray of hope shone down on me when Ming said "EH LETS GO TO LITTLE GENTING!".

I was in awe, I don't know whats that but I sure would like to ditch the mamak. And so there were alot of windy and dark roads with no street lamps while we're going up the hill. (Why didn't I drove my genting taxi up? It'll be my home turf!)

Camwhorers in the car

Poser

Finally we arrived at destination - Little Genting. The air was cooling but not as cold as Genting, wasn't as misty as Genting and it's nothing compared to Genting but hey, it was a place worthwhile to go during that night and a night view of the entire Kuala Lumpur to die for.

KL Night view

On top of the tower

The hills were steep as hell though and there were a lot of "chilling spots" up there. We climbed the tower to get a better view of KL and took some pictures while we're at it too.

Still on top of the tower

Couldn't remember what we were talking about

Little girl has gone past her bedtime

Poser again

So sorry to say that the picture quality was a little "uncontrolled" because the camera man was a jackass =P. I'll try to get nicer pictures next time.

Peace out!

A series of unhappening events

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 16:17:00 +0000

I've officially fucked up my gmail account. First I thought I could delete my account because something screwed up and then register the same user name for my gmail but noooo gmail doesn't recycle the user names and my jancheeyong@gmail.com is basically still floating around but I can't use it. Fuck la. Since Nuffnang uses email accounts as a login I've lost my previous earnings too. Life sucks at this point but nothings gonna get in my way to easily. I've registered a similarly different user name which is wongjanyong@gmail.com and a different blog address.

Life still goes on, I'm starting from scratch again and I hope my fellow readers would remain loyal =).

Moving on.

Following up on Chi Khan's previous post, there we're two idiots who claims themselves to be the "Guardians Of the Teddy Bear Vending Machine" on the first floor in Asia Cafe.

QiQi and Soungie

Why? Because they think that they can win the teddy bear with the fake shit limp ass claw that doesn't grab the gifts in the machine. It takes RM1 to play the machine and so one fine Friday I decided to go visit my fellow Taylorians because I missed them. I also brought Fatfcuk with me because he was bored too.

I decided not to leave the place without the teddy bear and changed my RM10 into coins to play the stupid machine.

Limp ass claw

After wasting RM4 on the machine I figured I needed a rest to think of a strategy so me, Fatfcuk and Soungie went to second floor and play foosball. Then Soungie had to leave because he has classes to attend to which leaves me and Fatfcuk there. Being unsatisfied of being unable to get the teddy bear, we decided to try again.

I was in the verge of believing that there might be no way of winning it but Fatfcuk displayed his unwillingness to give up.

After using all his money on the damn machine he went to change RM5 again! It was quite a hefty price to pay considering the embarrassment we had to deal with since everyone was laughing at our stupidity.

Yeah baby!

Finally! After RM8 into the machine and a sheer amount of luck, Fatfcuk caught the fucking bear as his fucking prize! I was too shocked to the point where I can only laugh when he got the teddy bear!

Rip-off teddy

Peace out!

Mofo

noreply@blogger.com (Jan Yong) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:26:00 +0000

Screwed up something real badly in my blog so i decided to flee from that trouble by making a new one. Updates coming as soon as possible!