Seriously!

Just do it.

I promise, you won’t regret it.

I’m not kidding, watch it now…

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Make sure you catch some of the amazing things he says:

You don’t have to find out you are dying to start living.
Life is beautiful.
You can either sit in your basement and wait or you can get out there and do some crazy stuff.
Go down fighting.
You can stress about dying or you can just relax.

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And here is Zach singing Clouds,
a amazing song he wrote
and recorded a few months ago.

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May 20th is the day…
When the impossible happened.
When I began appreciating each day as a gift.
When I began a journey of discovering who I really am.
When I survived an accident I wasn’t expected to survive.
When I began living in the now, instead of in the past or in the future.

Living in the tension of celebrating the good that happened,
while being honest about the disappointments I live with.

I’m not very detailed about many things in life… but when it comes to remembering dates, I can be super detailed even when I don’t want to be. I remember dates of many important and unimportant things. Jerry has given up trying to come up with an answer when I ask, “Remember what happened on this date 2, 5, 8 or 21 years ago?” He just asks, “What?” Because he knows it could be something significant, like the day we met or it could be something somewhat trivial like a day we moved in the past or the day I first got a kayak.

So naturally I remember the date when accident injuries changed my world. I don’t even try to remember it. It’s simply in my mind each and every year around May 20th. Along with my mind remembering it, I learned from my counselor that every cell in my body probably remembers the traumatic events. It was a relief to learn that because it helped me undersand why each year around May 20th, I feel an influx of emotions… thankful, irritable, reflective, tired, edgy, annoyed, etc.

Thankfully over the years the trauma of the day has decreased, but it hasn’t disappeared like I thought it might. Last year I did the Bob Potts Marathon on the 8th anniversary of the accident, so earlier this year, I found myself debating if I wanted to plan some type of big event this year.

I decided while that was good for last year, I don’t need to do a big thing every year. A low-key day is good also. Plus I wondered (hoped!) if maybe this year the date wouldn’t bother me as much because of the marathon I did last year and because it’s almost a decade now.

It didn’t quite work out that way… while last year’s marathon might have helped me to ‘reclaim’ the day to some degree, it didn’t make it go away. I woke up on the 20th and it’s what I thought of immediately. It’s what was on my mind as I did some book keeping for myself and for my husband’s business. It’s what was on my mind as I ran an errand. Thankfully I had a few hours of distraction during a long lunch with friends, including an out-of-state friend who was in the area, but even during our conversations, it was in the back of my mind.

Living in the tension of celebrating the good that happened 
while being honest about the disappointments I live with.

I had started the day with a morning run/walk in my neighborhood. My left leg ached a little more than normal (not sure why, some days it just complains louder than others) but I was grateful that I could be out there walking and running. I thought about all the paramedics, doctors and other medical personnel who saved my life and helped me recover. And I welled up with gratitude thinking about my family and friends who helped me in countless ways over the past 9 years. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.

I also thought about the many great people I’ve met over the past 9 years, especially the ones who face various obstacles of their own, but they keep doing what they can. I’ve been honored to share some of their stories on here.

Though thankful, I also have moments of anger, sadness and disappointment that…
I will spend the rest of my life with pain.
I will always be faced with some limitations.
I will spend the rest of my life with a funky-looking leg.
I will always wonder what life would be like if the accident hadn’t happened.

I thought about the miserable, dark days I had as I adjusted to life with pain, limitations and a deformed leg. I thought about the times I wanted to call a doctor to beg for risky cosmetic surgery on my leg. I thought about the journey of learning that time alone does not heal all wounds. And of the times something unexpected triggered post traumatic stress.

I thought about how I’m more aware of what my body needs and what it doesn’t need. How switching to a plant-based diet has increased my energy and decreased my pain and about the moments when I felt like I could run forever. Also how I now know things like what to give to hospital patients.

Living in the tension of celebrating the good that happened 
while being honest about the disappointments I live with.

I thought about the mindsets I’ve changed because I’ve been willing to think about things that I used to not allow myself to. How I learned what is kind instead of coming across like a jerk when someone’s life changes. About how much more peace I have since I’ve adjusted my mindset to not believing that everything happens for a reason. And how freeing it is to allow the sands of change to flow.

Reflecting, thinking, processing… it’s all a necessary part of the journey.

So in one way it’s an important day for me, because it’s the day that forever changed my life… but in another way, I remind myself that it’s simply a day. A day like every other when I have the power to make a choice to live well by…

doing what I can, with what I have, where I am… because I can!

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As I was writing this, I heard the news about the powerful tornado in Oklahoma which claimed many lives and injured countless others. With my emotions heighten already, it made for a tough evening while making me debate if I even wanted to publish this today. But another thing that I’ve learned is that while another tragedy might give us a new perspective, it doesn’t change the effects of our own traumas. So I will continue to process my own story, while being heartbroken for everyone affected by the tornado.

Today I want you to meet Rebecca, because she is one of those folks who does what she can, with what she has, where she is… because she can!

Here’s Rebecca’s inspiring story…

Janet: Tell us a little about yourself.

Rebecca: I am a teacher, inline skater, cyclist, reader, writer, photographer, traveler, friend, oldest sister, cousin, daughter, or granddaughter — depending on who you ask.  I’m 43 years old and live in Philadelphia where I help run the special education program at a public charter school.   I am also an above-knee amputee walking step-by-step through an unexpected journey.
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When and how did your world change?

On the morning of November 9, 2010, while riding my bicycle to work, I was struck by a garbage truck when it turned into my designated bike lane.   My left leg was crushed by the wheels of the truck, and I suffered severe internal injuries.   I was taken by ambulance to Jefferson Hospital’s Trauma Center.  There, an amazing group of trauma surgeons saved my life, but they had to amputate my left leg to do so.

With her brothers about 5 weeks post-accident… December 17, 2010

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What was your recovery like… physical, emotional and/or mental? 

Prior to the accident, I bike commuted for 5 years.  I skated with an inline skate club for 15 years.  I led an active life that included working full time, socializing with friends, and traveling.  I was always healthy.  I rarely missed a day of work.

During the long recovery after the accident, I found myself in unchartered territory.  There were many set-backs, including infection and abdominal complications.  Over 2 years, I was hospitalized 7 times and had 15 surgeries.  The acute pain and phantom limb pain were at times difficult to bear.  I struggled with nightmares and flashbacks of the accident.  Being sedentary and dependent on others was a big adjustment since I’d been so active and independent before.

But I was lucky in more ways than I can count.  I’d been wearing a bike helmet and sustained no head injury in the accident.  From the very beginning, I received first-rate medical treatment and rehabilitation.  When my leg was healed enough, I was fitted with a state-of-the-art prosthesis and received excellent prosthetic training.

Early on, my aunt and uncle gave me a necklace inscribed with the Confucius quote:  The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  As I recovered, I decided to set a goal of walking 1000 miles on my prosthesis.  Each mile marker served as a way to measure progress and help me digest all that had happened.  I documented the journey via my blog: A Thousand Miles.

Throughout this experience, I’ve been supported by family, friends, and professionals who never gave up or let me feel alone.  Even today, 2 ½ years later, they continue to encourage me every step of the way.

The first mile of a 1,000 – with her brother Mark and Jack.

I like hearing what makes people do what they can… was there a defining moment that inspired you to push your limits or was it a slow realization of seeing what you are capable of? 

When I met my prosthetist Tim for the first time, he said, “I’m not going to tell you what you can’t do.  You tell me what you want to do, and I’m going to help you get there.”  I was sold!   I told him I needed a leg I could SKATE on.

Her friend Susan helps her relearn to skate

But there hasn’t really been one defining moment in this journey.  Rather it’s been a process that’s unfolded day by day, mile by mile.  The slogan of my rehab hospital is BELIEVE.  And it’s those types of messages that guide me forward.  Whenever I have doubts about my own abilities, I look to those around me for reassurance.

For example, I wanted to try to ride my bike again, but after the accident I was skittish and leery.  I was afraid that getting back on a bike – the very act of pedaling – might make me relive the accident like I did so many nights in the beginning of my recovery.  My physical therapist Deb was determined to teach me to ride.  She said, “It’s ok if you don’t want to bike again, but you should know that you can.  It should be your CHOICE.”

So my therapy team puzzled out how to keep my prosthetic foot on the pedal, and we practiced session after session in the basement of the rehab gym.  Finally, on March 30, 2013, almost 2 ½ years after the accident, I rode my bike away from that intersection where I’d been hit.  It was my official 1000^th Mile!

There are a thousand stories like this.  Throughout my recovery, I’ve met so many people who’ve pushed themselves to new heights.  And all along, I’ve been embraced by a team that enables me to test my own limits and see what I’m really capable of achieving.

‘Leaving her foot’…

Then biking away from the accident location –   the 1,000th mile

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What do you do that others are surprised you do? 

I paint the toenails of my prosthesis!

Although it seems like a small detail, people are always surprised when they see me with painted toenails.  I just tell them, “I gotta keep the main thing, the main thing!”

That first summer, I asked my prosthetist if I’d be able to walk in sandals.  He showed me how to use strips of Velcro to stick my prosthetic foot to the sandal.  When I got home, I just had to give myself a pedicure!

But really, it’s part of a larger picture.  I have an optimistic and bright outlook on life.  I need to put my best foot forward – even with a body part that resembles a robot!  It’s just one more way I try to keep my life “normal.”

Putting her best foot forward!

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In what ways do the obstacles you face affect your daily life that others might not be aware of?

With jeans on, you might not be able to tell I wear a prosthesis.   With lots of therapy, I’ve learned to walk with a natural gait and navigate most types of terrain.  But the paradox of walking better is that people FORGET.

They forget that I have to concentrate when I cross a street or go down a hill.  They don’t realize how my independence is limited by weather conditions – snow, ice, or wind – that make walking on a prosthesis difficult, if not impossible.

Also, I can’t wear my prosthesis 24/7.  I take it off every night and can’t wear it when I have skin irritations.  Without it, I need crutches and adaptive equipment.  I’m less confident and able.    And I’m much more vulnerable, especially in emergency situations such as illness, fire alarms, or power outages.
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What goals have you reached that you didn’t know if you could?

I certainly never imagined I’d be able to teach people about prosthetics or mentor other amputees.  I’m pleased to say that I’m currently doing both.  I’ve had the opportunity to share my knowledge with elementary and middle school students, as well as with classes of PT students at local universities.

I also volunteer at the rehab hospital where I was a patient.   I love meeting new amputees who are just beginning this journey.  I hope that my experiences can help them weather the ups and downs of their own recovery, and in some way, inspire them to reach their own goals.

Mile 160 with her surgeons

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What goals do you have for yourself in the future?

I’d like to take more steps forward, of course.  To continue volunteering and give back to the organizations that have given me so much.  To promote bicycle and motorist safety in order to reduce future accidents and injuries like my own.

I’d also like to pursue many of the life goals I had before the accident.  Physical activity, socializing, and travel are still difficult for many reasons.  Ultimately, I’d like to walk into a future that interweaves my old life with my new one.
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Reaching for new heights!

What does a well-lived day look like to you… or in other words, if you knew you were dying tomorrow, what would you do today?

Sometimes I wonder what I would have done differently on November 8, 2010, if I knew what was going to happen the very next morning.  This question reminds me of that.

In my life now, every day is a well-lived day.  I’m not always as comfortable as I like.  I don’t have as much energy as I used to have.  And I’m not happy every minute.  But I’m full of passion and creativity that used to get brushed aside in the daily hustle.  My relationships are genuine and deep.  I prioritize and engage in activities that have meaning.

If you’d asked me 3 years ago where I’d be today, this is certainly not the place.   But taking this journey has taught me to live life fully, in way I never had before.

I wake up each morning knowing ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. And often, it does!

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Inspiring… right? 

Read more about Rebecca’s 1,000 mile journey—from the day of her first blog post Go…
to the day she completed the 1,000th mile, A Beautiful Day.
You can also connect with her at A Thousand Miles on Facebook.

Rebecca, thanks for sharing your story with my readers.
Bike, climb, roll, walk on… because you can!

A few days ago, I created this avocado, vegetable, and feta wrap for lunch… and I’ve had one everyday for lunch since then. Delicious!

More and more studies are showing how eating more vinegar, especially balsamic vinegar, is beneficial in various ways (helps decrease pain, provides energy, boasts immune systems, and reduces cholesterol level) so I drizzle it on many of my dishes. For added flavor you could drizzle some of your favorite salad dressing on it.

And obviously, you could use any vegetables your heart (and taste buds) desire.

gather, dice, chop and assemble…

roll… and enjoy!

And here’s info to help you select the perfect avocado.

From Hass Avocado at AvocadoCentral.com

 What’s a favorite lunch of yours?

And it’s been an interesting ride… in some ways being a speaker has been easier than I thought it would be and in other ways it’s been harder. There’ve been times when I’ve felt totally comfortable and other times when I’ve been nervous. I’ve had small audiences and I’ve had large audiences. During Q&A, I’ve had endless questions and I’ve had zero questions.

But one thing that is consistant each time I share my story is that it
provides another element of healing for me and it inspires at least one
or more to keep doing what they can with whatever challenge they have.

Because of that, I am looking to expand my speaking career, so I had a video made recently by Boy Astronaut Film and Image to capture a glimpse of my story.
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The crew, Devin, Miles, and Taylor, were all great to work with. They were organized, detailed and professional. We filmed at three locations on three different days… my house, at a park and at a speaking event (Thanks WIBSN for allowing the camera crew to invade your event.)

Then they worked their magic with the editing (And gosh, did my interview need a lot of editing) And they delivered the finished product to me right on schedule.

I am thrilled with the video and happy to share it with you.

Without further ado, here it is…
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Because I’ve learned that we are each capable of more than we give ourselves credit for, I want to share my story with others to encourage them to do what they can… because they can!

And I’ve learned that my experience inspires people with:
• Courage to face obstacles 
• Boldness to challenge the status quo
• Endurance to continue one step at a time

I tailor my presentations to make them applicable for each audience. So if you or someone you know needs a speaker for an event, please email or call for more information. JanetOberholtzer@gmail.com — 484-798-7824

Also, feel free to (in other words, pretty, pretty please) share this video on your social media networks and with others via email… especially event planners, college or business activity directors, conference organizers, coaches, teachers, and others.

Getting a haircut: $25
Food for the film crew: $40
New shirt, jacket and jewelry: $90
Having others share the video: PRICELESS!

Thank you!

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Running is not exactly an easy sport for spectators to view. It usually includes a tough time finding parking, walking for a distance to find a spot to stand, freezing (or sweating) as you check your watch and strain to spot a familiar face in the passing runners and then seeing your runner for all of 30 seconds as they run by.

These three lovely people gave up a Monday to do that on a cool spring day and sadly they lost their lives as they cheered for their family and friends.

Krystle Campbell

Krystle’s family and friends talk about her in this article on the Boston Globe… Krystle Campbell remembered as ever reliable.

She was just full of life.
She loved being around people.
You couldn’t ask for a better daughter.
She always had a lot of friends around her.
She was always bouncing and always happy.
She loved music, and she loved life, Krystle did.
She was beloved by all of us, and we will miss her deeply.
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Martin Richard

If only, if only… this kind young man could have lived to continue living out his message of “No more hurting people”.

Here’s what his family and friends have to say about him in a Washington Post article, Martin Richard, 8, loved playing with siblings, friends

He sticks up for kids.
He always won at math games.
Martin told a mean knock-knock joke. ­
He was so polite, composed, older than his years really.
I can see him now, holding his mom’s arm as she took them on their walks.
A bright, energetic young boy who had big dreams and high hopes for his future.
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Lu Lingzi

Lu was a Chinese graduate student at Boston University. Her family has not given interviews and in respect of her family’s wish to grieve in silence, I won’t post more about her.

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I’m not running right now due to an arm injury (fell on the snow/ice a few weeks ago) but as soon as I can run again, I will run for each of them… because I can.

I run… because I can!

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May the memories of their lives
bring comfort and peace to their loved ones
as they grieve and adjust to living without them here. 

I’m heartbroken, devastated, sad, angry…

Lives were lost instantly and more hang in the balance. Families and friends are distraught as they receive and/or wait on news about their loved ones.

And so many people were injured and their lives forever changed in an instant. The loss. The pain, the adjustments, the lifestyle changes… all of it devastates me.

And while legs are important to more than the running community, how sad and ironic that there were multiple leg injuries and amputations at an event that’s mostly about legs.

So devastating…

My bed looks inviting…

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And while we are all affected by the news we hear… and we want hope and good news and comfort and Mr Roger’s mom keeps telling us where to look…

I pause…

I ask myself… when the lives of others have been devastated should our first concern be about finding hope for ourselves? About finding something that makes us feel better at the moment?*

Shouldn’t our first concern be for the people directly affected…
those who lost loved ones or those dealing with injuries?

Obviously, most of us can’t actually go help them…
But couldn’t we allow our lives to be disrupted for a time in solidarity with them?
Couldn’t we feel the sadness, anger and devastation for a time?
Could we simply sit with those feelings?

I’m not saying be hopeless. Allow yourself to have hope in general from wherever you get hope from. But in the wake of such tragedy, please know that…

So it’s okay to feel sad.
Being sad for a time won’t cause permanent damage.
Feeling the devastation of lives forever changed won’t kill you.

I find myself cringing as I already see comments about finding hope in the devastation. I’m concerned for those injured. I want to protect them from hearing about how their situation brings hope to others. Or about how good will come out of this situation. Or how this will make us or them better, stronger, kinder, etc.

Hearing comments like that as I adjusted to life-changing injuries made me want to kill myself. What brought me comfort was having people acknowledge my pain and my disappointments… instead of trying to find ways to make themselves feel better.

So pause before you say things about how hope will rise from this terror. That thought diminishes the effects of the acts of terror for those directly affected.

It glosses over the horror of their situation.
It soars over the life altering decisions that are being weighed right now.
It forgets about the physical pain and emotional trauma that people are facing today.

To me, thoughts that have us moving from feeling devastated to celebrating the hope that will come too quickly strips us from our shared humanity.

We lose empathy. Yes, I know as Americans we’re all about pursuing happiness, but do we need to be doing that so quickly after lives have been devastated?

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Devastation like this sucks. There’s no other way of looking at.

Yes, life has to go on… and I won’t be staying in bed all day… but as I go about my day, I will be sad, devastated and angry. And that’s okay.

I can deal with that…
Others are dealing with so much more than a few negative feelings. 

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So we then send our time trying to copy them and/or looking for the perfect:

Plan.
Program.
Policy.
Process.
Procedure.

Truth is there is no perfect pattern to follow. And every person, yes, even the successful people, actually, especially the successful people, often take one step at a time, not sure whether or not that step is the right one. They might have an end goal in mind, but they adjust and adapt along the way. They are willing to try different, untried, unique steps to move forward.  They do what they can, with what they have, where they are.

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Conan sums this thought up perfectly with this quote…

“Comedy’s not a science. Science isn’t a science.
We’re learning that all the time. Nobody knows, really,
what they’re doing. (audience laughter) They don’t!
They don’t know what they’re doing!
And there’s two ways to go with that information.
One is to be afraid and the other is to be liberated.
And I choose to be liberated by it.“ - Conan O’Brien

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And that’s why you should learn, research and listen to everyone’s advice, but then do what works for you. Don’t get stuck trying to do what others do. Or trying to do what’s always been done. Don’t be a slave to something that worked for someone else, if it doesn’t work for you.

This doesn’t mean you never plan or never draw up a schedule. Plans, goals, schedule all have their place. But allow yourself to be you. To find the way that works for you. To try something different. Trust your instincts. Throw away the idea that there’s only one way to do something.

Draw your own lines. 

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are…
without comparing yourself to others.
Because you are you…
And because only you can do what you can do!

Some of you know who Rick Warren is, some of you don’t. Rick Warren is a well-known individual who is a pastor of a large church in California and the author of many books, including the best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life. He is also known as a global strategist, a theologian and a philanthropist.

Rick’s church, Saddleback Church released a statement saying that Rick and Kay Warren’s youngest son Matthew (age 27) took his own life on Saturday, April 6, 2013.

My heart broke for them and then all too soon, I found myself speculating about why this might have happened… and I soon heard/read reasons others gave for why they think it happened. 

Note to self and to the world:
Do not look for reasons in tragedy. 

I’m fairly convinced that the reason (ironic?) we all look for reasons is that it provides us with a (false) sense of security. We assume if we have a reason for why something unexpected or tragic happened to others, we can counteract and/or correct the reason and then we assume the same thing wouldn’t happen to us.

I reminded myself that there is not a reason for everything
and not everything happens for a reason.

Here’s a few more links to posts I’ve written with thoughts about the false idea that everything happens for a reason:

Written after the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School
It’s a Time of Remembering, not a Time of Reasoning

Written after the tsunami happened in Japan:
Give love instead of reasons

Written about my personal struggle with the thought that the accident
and all my injures happened for a reason. A Hurricane and My Obituary

And somedays it was I sure as hell hope I can.

And even now, though Because I can is more pronounced in my life, sometimes I can still be heard muttering, I think I can, I think I can …

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As a child, I enjoyed and believed the story about The little Engine that Could.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I have a plan
And I can do ‘most anything if I only think I can.

When some of the realities of life began hitting me as an adult, I realized positive thinking can’t solve everything. But instead of finding a comfortable balance, my pendulum swung the other direction. Reality combined with some confusing spiritual teachings about the lack of control I have over the outcome of my life had me viewing positive thinking as a bad thing.

Fast forward a few years … nothing like being run over by a truck to make me reconsider what I can or can’t do. When the outcome of my physical recovery was uncertain, I found that little girl with the positive attitude again. I began telling myself…

I think I can, I think I can, I think I have a plan
And I can do ‘most anything if I only think I can.

I walked again and my body recovered better than expected. But living with a new normal sucked me down into a dark ugly hole of depression and had me saying …

I can’t go on, I can’t go on, I’m weary as can be
I can’t go on, I can’t go on, this job life is not for me.

A combination of love, care and counseling gave me strength to climb the mountain to hope. I dropped some of the baggage I’d been carrying and stopped listening to negative predictions. I dared to dream of what I might be able to do. I went back to this mantra…

I think I can, I think I can, I think I have a plan
And I can do ‘most anything if I only think I can.

Another reality of life hit when my sister Rosene passed away due to complications of Cerebral Palsy and surgery. No amount of positive thinking could change the situation, but I knew Rosene did what she could, with what she had, where she was … so why would I do anything less? I began following my dreams of running and writing because Rosene can’t… but I can.

Just think you can, just think you can, just have that understood
And very soon you’ll start to say, I always knew I could.

I believe that … not like I did as a child, but with a balance. I’ve lived with the hopelessness of not believing any of it and I’ve lived with the unrealistic hope of believing that positive thinking can make anything happen.

So it’s comforting and peaceful to be in this place of believing I can… while accepting the reality of life’s cruelties and mysteries that I can’t change.

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So dear friends … as you take steps toward your dreams, don’t look at me, or others, that have accomplished something that you want to do and assume that we always felt we could or that we never have doubts.

Know that I started by saying I think I can, I think I can and at times I still have more doubts than confidence, but I keep trying… because I can! 

Through plans, hard work, false starts and many repeats, I can pursue my dreams … and so can you. And someday you will be saying …

I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could
I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could. 

Because you can!