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One of the ways I educate myself, while also learning how to improve my speaking skills, is by watching TED talks. I’ve seen many excellent ones… but I think this one is the best.

I love both the message and the presentations skills of Shawn Achor.

Enjoy … and try not to laugh too much as you watch this..

Sometimes there’s not much depth to them and the answers are easy… yes, I think I will add cheese to my salad.

Or even if they have depth, the ebb and flow is manageable and I have enough energy to process them and reach a place of peace.

Other times they come too fast and furious for me to process them all… or maybe it’s that I’m too lazy to seriously think about them, because seriously thinking is hard work.

So I focus on something else and avoid them.

But they don’t actually leave, they continue dancing around the edge of my mind waiting for a moment when I’m willing to give them the due process they deserve.

I find myself feeling overwhelmed, even beginning to feel depressed.

And I realize avoiding the questions is the reason.

Often the best place for me to give questions the energy, time and process they deserve is when my body is motion.

So I’m thinking now is a good time for a run. 

For decades, we were taught this and shown this popular tongue map to reenforce the teaching. And because of that, many of us were sure we tasted certain flavors on certain areas of our tongue.

Oh the power of suggestion! Though I’m often a skeptic, I believed this tongue map theory for years.

This theory originated from a 1901 paper written by an otherwise fairly well respected Harvard psychologist Edwin G. Boring. It was a mistranslation from a German research paper that included data about the tongue which was taken out of context and the theory was born.

About 70 years later more research was finally done and the tongue map theory was proven to be false.

Fact: All taste sensations come from all areas of our tongue.

Here’s a short clip about one man’s thoughts about this theory…

Were you taught the tongue map theory? Did you believe it and taste the specified tastes at the defined areas?

It was Joy’s first time recording a Skype interview, but she was a pro at it. We had a great conversation and she posted the video today. In it I answer her questions which range from…

What did you believe about God and pain and bad things as a child? Describe the Mennonite teaching on this to…

How much pain do you deal with on a daily basis now?

Clicking on the picture will take you to Joy’s site to view the video. When at her site, click around and read Joy’s story of learning how to live with difficult circumstances, including the death of her daughter three years ago.

I’m giving away a copy of Because I Can on Joy’s site. Leave a comment there for a chance to win!

]]> http://www.janetober.com/2012/01/27/an-interview-with-joy-bennett/feed/ 2 http://www.janetober.com/2012/01/27/an-interview-with-joy-bennett/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JanetOber/~3/_MQ7XEfj6-0/ http://www.janetober.com/2012/01/26/my-lady-gaga-look/#comments Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:07:03 +0000 Janet Ober http://www.janetober.com/?p=8690
More >]]> Lisa DeLay likes people, she likes ninjas and she likes to learn… so she’s combined all three into a cool Ninja Interview series. Well, it was a cool series until she added an interview with me to the lineup…  I think I made every mistake possible for a video interview.

Since this was my first Skype interview, I read tips and tricks about how to do one well… and apparently I promptly forgot all of it.

Lisa is cool, calm and collected, but I rambled instead of talking in short soundbites… short sentences make for a better video interview and a better spot on The Today Show (a girl can dream, can’t she?) 

I was in my living room which has a big window, because I thought the light would be good, but I didn’t realize it would cause a glare on my glasses at times. Which made the eye shadow I had on look like I was trying out a Lady Gaga look.

With her super Ninja skills, Lisa diced, sliced and spliced together this 6-minute video from our half-hour conversation.

Ugh… I need to listen to the experts better!

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To redeem myself I want to give a copy of Because I Can away… you know, like paying a penalty for mistakes made.

So ask a question, leave a comment or simply say “Hi” before Saturday 1/28/12 at 10AM and you will be entered to win.   

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I’m a big believer in pushing myself. In stretching myself out of my comfort zone. In doing something new or different that forces me out of the familiar. For my body, mind and spirit.

That is how I grow and learn… and when I feel truly alive. 

Having said that I’m not about pain. Especially physical pain that could cause more damage than good if we aren’t careful. Pain is our bodies way of talking and we need to listen to it.

Which is why I don’t like sayings about ignoring pain. At the least, they are stupid and taken to an extreme, they are dangerous.

No pain, no gain.
Pain is weakness leaving the body. 
Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going.

Yes, I’m taking on Jillian Michaels. I like that she encourages people to live healthy lifestyles, but you don’t have to puke, faint or die to do it.

But before you get the wrong idea. Being healthy does not mean you can sit on the couch, eat brownies and browse Pinterest laughing at fitness boards that include sayings about pain.

Being healthy does involve educating yourself, planning healthy meals and making yourself exercise even when you don’t feel like it. And at times, that exercise will make you tired, sore and achy.

But tired, sore and achy is very different from fainting, puking and dying. 

I think the no pain, no gain theory is an example of the pendulum swinging too far to the other side. Because our minds can talk us out of exercise and because our country has an obesity problem, many well meaning fitness voices try to fix it by telling us to ignore pain.

I think treating our bodies with care is more effective. And care means we do push ourselves, but not too an extreme. And I’ll be the first to admit it can be tough to find that line. A huge key is being aware of our body and of our mental state.

Most of the time, it’s our mind, not our body, that decides whether or not we’re going to exercise. Our mind prefers to take the easy route, so it will try to talk us out of exercising or have us quit before we need to. Educating ourselves on the dangers of not taking care of our bodies should give us strength to override our lazy-arsh minds.

Another key is learning to know the difference between pain and discomfort.

Fact: Most pain warrants quitting… most discomfort does not. 

So when you want to stay on the couch or quit early, ask yourself these questions…

Does my body hurt?
Is it discomfort or pain? (be honest with yourself!)

If pain, is it the type of pain that could cause injury?
If you know the answer is yes… stop.

If unsure… think! Think about the discomfort/pain. Massage the area. Do a few stretches.  Think about the discomfort/pain objectively. If you could feel the same discomfort/pain in someone else’s body… would you tell them to continue exercising or to stop?

My journey from not knowing if I would ever walk again to now running half-marathons involved countless conversations like that. Sometimes I quit and gave my body a day or two of rest. But more times than not, I continued… because I knew the discomfort I was having would make me stronger.

Because of all my injuries, I do live with some pain/discomfort, so I’m constantly having to find that edge of doing what I can, with what I have to be healthy, but not hurting myself.

If I can find that edge, you can too… the more you do it, the better you will become at it.

Remember: Most pain warrants quitting… most discomfort does not!

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Do you know the difference between pain and discomfort? If so, how did you learn it?
Also will you defend me if Jillian tries to beat me up for challenging her?

“That’s why Mom has been gone all day,” one of them said, being older and wiser, they knew things I didn’t. ”She’s at the hospital getting a new baby!” (that’s how the facts of life were explained in my family)

A baby? That surprised me. I had one brother and three sisters and it never dawned on me that would change.

Rosene Hoover 1969-2008

Everyone was excited and talked at once.

“They’ll be home tonight.”
“It’s a girl!”
“What’s her name?”
“Mom hasn’t quite decided yet—either Thelma, Laura or Rosene.”

My memory of that day ends there. I don’t remember Mom and the baby coming home, just remember the excitement when we found out we had a baby sister.

That baby sister became a woman who taught me many things over the years. Rosene was the name chosen for her and it suited her perfectly. Her smile was as bright as a rose, even when life was hard.

She like her name and she liked roses. She was impressed with the fact that roses bloomed and were fragrant, even if life gave them thorns and her goal was to do the same.

Her motto was “Bloom where you are planted.” 

And she did.

During Rosene’s first year, my parents and doctors discovered that she would have physical challenges from a lack of muscle coordination over her whole body caused by Cerebral Palsy.

I’ve written more about Rosene on my old blog… the struggles she faced and the joys she experienced. In October 2008 my family and I processed the information the doctors gave us after complications from her Cerebral Palsy and from a surgery done that week rendered her health so compromised she would probably need life support to continue living.

As a family, we made the tough decision to not proceed with more medical intervention, but to say good-bye. The family sat by her bed singing hymns as she passed away.

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Between Rosene’s story and my own brush with death, twenty surgeries and living with pain and a deformed leg, I have a high respect for anyone hoping for a medical procedure to save or improve life and I also have high respect for everyone in the medical field. So the situation happening at a premier hospital in Philadelphia breaks my heart.

Last week, the mother of Amelia, a three-year old child with Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome  blogged about a consultation at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) where a medical team told the parents they won’t do a kidney transplant for Amelia because of the health issues and disabilities the child already has.  She writes that the transplant team sited Amelia’s severe disabilities along with the complications of the required anti-rejection meds she would need to take the rest of her life.

The blog quickly went viral and one reader (who doesn’t know the family, but was touched by the story) started a petition for others to sign requesting that CHOP do the kidney transplant for Amelia.

CHOP has released a statement saying,

“We have transplanted many children with a wide range of disabilities, including physical and intellectual disabilities. We at CHOP are deeply committed to providing the best possible medical care to all children, including those with any form of disability … but we are unable to comment publicly on individual cases.”

A professor of medical ethics was quoted in an ABC NEWS story as saying, “CHOP’s statement suggested their decision was not based solely on Amelia’s disability but in compliance with with current norms.”

I’m not debating the value of Amelia’s life… that’s not even a question, every life has value. But I can see the various sides of this story… the challenges a person with disabilities faces, the stress it can put on a family, the desire to help a child, the doctor’s cautious approach, the desire for an organ transplant to provide the best benefit for both the donor and the receiver, the outrage of others and more.

I question whether doctors/hospitals are required to preform any type of surgery on every patient that requests it, even if they question the long-term benefits of the surgery. Since we have the means of keeping people alive via an array of medical procedures like never before, I can only imagine how hard it must be for doctors/hospitals to determine what procedure to do to who.

According to a CBS NEWS piece, the United Network for Organ Sharing says… “it’s up to the individual hospitals and their doctors to determine if someone is an appropriate candidate for transplantation.”

So why can’t the doctors and medical experts at CHOP decide what risks to take and what risks not to take? 

Though Rosene had severe physical disabilities, she did have full mental capacity, so prior to her surgery she had told us that she did not want to be on life support long-term… so that helped us make our decision.

Due to her disabilities, Amelia is not capable of voicing any opinions concerning her medical treatment. If Amelia could tell us what she thinks… I wonder if she would want the surgery. She lives with various health challenges and has already been through numerous medical treatments including heart surgery.

Due to Amelia’s age, her parents are the ones responsible for decisions made about her health. I’m sure Amelia brings them joy and I assume their hearts also break at seeing the challenges she lives with.

The family has ever right to pursue ever medical avenue they want to, but do they have the right to insist that a certain doctor and/or hospital preform the surgery?

It’s not easy, but it is reality… and I keep coming back to what is best for Amelia. Just because someone smiles does not mean they are not in pain.

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UPDATE: A medical ethics teacher sent me a link to an article with interesting thoughts about putting ourselves or our loved ones through all types of medical treatments that may or may not give us/them a better life… How Doctors Die.

Freedom and equality for everyone. 

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I love this picture of the flesh-colored crayons that is circulating on Facebook. I think Crayola needs to consider increasing the number of crayons in each box. (imagine the thrill of a box of 74 crayons!)

I’m not naive enough to think racism never happens, but I’m so thankful to live in a time when the color of someone’s skin should not affect anything they do or want to do.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve always believed everyone is equal, but unfortunately I had some negative influences in my life. And what we hear and see, especially as a child, can influence us, so I went through a time as a young adult when I tried to shred any false impressions I had been given.

‎”Not by the color of their skin
but by the content of their character.”

There is another issue facing us today. Should someone’s religion affect what they can or cannot do… or how they are treated?

Religion is a confusing concept for me… I question why and how religions form and why people follow the religions they do. But yet, I believe that one principal America was founded on is freedom of religion. To me that means anyone and everyone should be able to practice whatever religion they choose, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else.

In this video, the clerk and the woman wanting to buy an apple strudel are actors hired by ABC for this show… but the other people in the bakery do not know that, so I can only assume their reaction is how they feel.

Here’s the summary of the actions of the bystanders in the video…
6 people defended the clerk,
13 people came to the aid of the woman and
22 people stood passively by saying and doing nothing.

The woman was kind and gracious. She had money to pay for her purchase, yet it appears that the majority viewed her… by her religion, not but by the content of her character.

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What do you think your reaction would be if you saw anything like this happening? 

I could happily live the rest of my life never feeling temperatures below 50F again.

But yet yesterday I joined about six-hundred other (crazy) people in doing a trail run when temps were around 20F, with a real-feel of 15F.

Why?

Because I love being outdoors and since I live in Pennsylvania where we have about twenty months of brutal winter weather (the calendar might say three months, but I swear it’s much longer) I have no choice but to be outdoors in the cold sometimes.

I’ve been dreaming of moving south for years. We had planned to in 2004 when we finish our trip around the country, but the accident and my injuries changed our plans. And being here with family and friends was the best place to be as I recovered.

But the south continues to call… so over the next year or two as my boys finish college, we plan to pack the uHaul and kiss winter good-bye. But until then, I’m here and I’m going to embrace each day. Life is too precious to do anything less.

Making the most of each day

Life is too short to wait until someday… until perfect conditions… until the planets align… until blah, blah, blah. Instead I do what I can, with what I have, where I am.

I’ve been hearing about this crazy trail run called Chilly Cheeks since it started six years ago. Pretzel City Sports manages the run and they advertise it as a “…rustic trail run touring the mountain overlooking the Pretzel Capital of the world (Reading, PA). It has rocks & roots, dirt & debris, maybe snow & ice and more rises and falls than most 401k plans in the past 3 years. It is 7+ miles that will make you see stars (REAL stars, not people like Jessica Simpson, Rob Kardashian or anyone who has ever appeared on Celebrity Rehab).”  

Yes, I wanted to tackle that! And this was the year, because two crazy running friends also decided they wanted to tackle it for the first time.

Pre-race... Tabatha, Bev and I.

Trust the process

Deciding to tackle it did not take away my fear of how I would handle the cold and the hills. While life can throw us curves (can it ever!) I have learned that I can trust the process of many things in life if I prepare properly, if I continue taking steps forward, if I do what I need to do, etc.

Don’t reinvent the wheel

I’ve run many miles in my lifetime, but not as many as the folks at Runner’s World, so I use their wisdom for many things. In this case, I checked out their What Should I Wear tool. While I don’t always follow it exactly, it gives me a good idea what to wear in various temps.

Don’t be stupid, remember the basics.

Basic foundational principles are basic foundational principles for a reason… without them, nothing happens. No matter how many runs I do… the basics of drinking enough water, eating well, getting enough sleep and stretching still apply, especially the day before.

Be flexible

Process, plan, prepare… but then hold it all lightly. Go with the flow of the situation. Based on our previous runs, we had assumed we’d finish this run in less than two hours, but that was before we knew the details of the situation.

Some of the run wasn’t even on trails—seriously, you made your own trail! The hills were bigger and longer and meaner than we had imagined them to be. I always knew PA has a lot of rocks, but I didn’t know a zillion of them were on the hills around Reading.

Recalculate

Recalculating is not just for your GPS. Within the first mile, we threw away any finishing-time goal (see first video below) and simply focused on finishing without killing or injuring ourselves in the process.

Other than trying a few cigarettes as a teen, I’ve never smoked, but those hills made my lungs feel and sound like I’ve been smoking two packs a day for life. And I had no idea my thighs could burn that bad.

We dreamed of the hot breakfast waiting for us at the finish (Cheers to Pretzel City for having eggs, pancakes, bagels and more!) And relaxing in Bev’s hottub afterwards. We talked about the warm beaches in Florida, where we plan to relax in about six weeks, after we’ve run a Disney half-marathon. We run. We walked. We crawled. We laughed. We cursed.

Expect to be pleasantly surprised

When you push yourself to the limit and/or put yourself out there, enjoy the surprises that come your way. It really is possible to run in freezing temps and not freeze. Seriously, other than waiting for the run to start and after the finish, I was warm.

While running, I actually forgot how cold it was until I got to the water stop at mile 4.5 and not only was the water semi-frozen in the cups, so was the beer. Yes beer… how else do you expect the race directors to get people out there?

I’m not in these videos because I’m towards the back of the pack (imagine that) but here’s a glimpse of what Chilly Cheeks is. Christopher Hand is obviously in better shape than I am to be able to run and film. I’m impressed! Great job Christopher and thanks for sharing the videos.

The first video is shot within the first mile of the run.

And another one… near the end of the run.

Yes, it was brutal. But I’m glad I did it.

Not so I can say I did it… I think that’s an odd reason to do things.

I’m glad I did it… because stretching myself to the limit makes me feel fully alive… and that’s the best way to embrace each day.

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Do you try to embrace each day? And/or have you stretched yourself to the limit recently? Why or why not?

Eggs are bad for you… eggs are good for you.
Cell phones give you brain cancer… or maybe not.
Too much sun is bad… but you need some to get Vitamin D.
Use sunscreen… but sunscreen might contain chemicals that could give you skin cancer.

And when it comes to supplements and medicines that ‘should’ improve health… the conflicting news is everywhere.

Calcium supplements should strengthen bones… but now a report suggests that excess calcium might increase the risk for heart attacks.

Some diabetes drugs lowered blood sugar beautifully… but then reports showed they increased the risk of heart disease.

And the big one for women:

For decades, women were told that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) would protect them from all kinds of problems associated with aging. Heart disease, the No. 1 killer of women, was near the top of the list.

Then, in 2002, a large study showed that HRT actually increased the risk for heart disease, strokes and breast cancer. – from The People’s Pharmacy

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Because good health is so vital and so personal, we should each take time to educate ourselves and to figure out what is best for our health.

Thankfully there one piece of health advice that is never contested!

Seriously, there is one piece of health advice that absolutely everyone* agrees on… from my grandmother to doctors to physical therapists to all the health experts, scientists. TV doctors and more.

And it is: our bodies are made for moving.

This was driven home to me after my injuries and during the years I struggled with depression. If you’ve a regularly reader, you know that running is part of my life now, but for a few years post-accident I didn’t want to exercise at all, not even walk more than necessary. (walking from the couch to the fridge and back was enough for me)

I was angry and depressed that I couldn’t run or bike like I did pre-accident, so I didn’t want to do anything. And I felt like I was justified to sit and do nothing the rest of my life.

Thankfully I had a tough-love doctor who blew that theory for me… he told me that since my body had been compromised with all the injuries, I needed to give it better care, not less care. To stay healthy to 100 or beyond, my body would need more exercise, not less.

That’s when I began doing what I can, with what I have, where I was.

For me, moving it meant walking. (trust me, you don’t want to see me dance)

Step-by-step… my body recovered better than I (or the doctors) ever thought it would. Walking increased the blood flow to my legs and feet which brought more healing. With time, I was able to walk with less pain and I’ve been back to running for about three years. I firmly believe that if we keep our bodies moving, it’s amazing what it does for our health… both physically and mentally.

You don’t have to run to be healthy… I happen to like it and it keeps me sane. Experts from Dan Buettner to the Mayo Clinic say walking is enough movement to help keep you healthy.

Because of the many benefits of walking, I walk to warmup and cool down before and after a run. I also take walking breaks during a run. No matter what pace I move, I’m still lapping everyone on the couch. I also try to park farther away from building entrances. And recently adding more steps to my days has been easier with my treadmill desk… nothing beats walking while working! (I’m walking as I write this)

Walk on!

There’s no debate that you will be doing the right thing for your body… and you might be amazed how many other health issues it takes care of.

Move it, move it!

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What can you do today to move it? Or to add a few more steps to your day?