JanetheWriter Writes...

Birthday Blessings

2012-01-29T15:37:00.000-05:00

Even though it’s Sunday, there were a few birthday cards in my mailbox when I checked this afternoon. Yes, it’s true that I’ve been sick and the last time I dusted out the box was on the way back from the doctor’s office on Wednesday, but nonetheless, it’s always nice to receive personally addressed mail that isn’t a bill. (Of course, that's not to say that I don't love each and every one of the terrific Facebook birthday greetings that are making my inbox runneth over today. Thanks, everyone!)

One in my snail mail box, though, was a beautifully handmade card (yes, that's it up there at the top of this post) wishing me life’s true gifts—good health, friendship and love. Tucked inside was a small sheet of paper printed with this wonderful, take-it-to-heart message about the why’s and how’s of celebrating birthdays:

Celebrating Life

What is more joyous than birth—a new life coming into the world? It’s an occasion for great celebration. And each year, the day of your birth should be celebrated just as enthusiastically. Others may notice or maybe not. What does it matter? You should be the primary celebrant. After all, you’re the one who has done the work, met the challenges, made the changes, pulled yourself up, taken it on the chin, made peace, pushed open closed doors, taken responsibility, made your life work. You—more than anyone else—have reason to celebrate another year of life! So don’t hold back! Laugh until your belly hurts. Hug you loved ones until they squeal! Jump up and down! Give yourself a well-deserved hoorah! Pat yourself on the back. Then take a deep breath and look to the year ahead with joy and excitement. You’ve earned it!

Words to share.

Words to remember.

Words to live by.

The Myriad Monopoly

2012-01-22T22:29:00.000-05:00

I recently created a Google alert for Myriad Genetics and once each day, I get a list of links to news articles, blogs and other information about the company that appears on the web. Needless to say, I’m learning a lot of interesting things about the Salt Lake City-based company that holds patents on the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes.

If you’re scratching your head thinking “Hmmmm, I wonder how it is that a commercial company can hold a patent on genetic material,” good for you. I’m wondering the same thing, and apparently so is the ACLU.

In the spring of 2009, the ACLU brought a suit against Myriad Genetics, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) and the University of Utah Research Foundation for patents on “products of nature.” In holding these patents, Myriad limits access to the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, not only stifling further scientific advances and compromising quality assurance, but also denying women the option of a second opinion before making difficult, emotionally wrenching decisions about life-changing surgeries. Furthermore, because the company holds a monopoly in the United States on testing for the presence of mutations in the genes that significantly increase women’s lifetime risk of breast and ovarian cancer, the full test costs more than $3,000, a figure that forces many women who might otherwise be tested to forego BRACAnalysis entirely.

Slowly, the case is making its way through the judicial system. In March of 2010, a federal district court judge ruled that patents on “products of nature” are invalid, but this ruling was partially overturned in July 2011 by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit, which upheld that Myriad’s patents on the genes are valid, but that the methods used to sequence the genes are not. In December of 2011, the ACLU petitioned the Supreme Court to hear what has the potential to be a landmark case.

Stay tuned…

A Potpourri of Jewish Music

2012-01-04T21:11:00.000-05:00

If you attended the URJ’s recent Biennial convention, you were, as always, treated to an array of terrific Jewish music from the likes of David Broza, Josh Nelson, Julie Silver, Dan Nichols, Joe Black, Noah Aronson, Michelle Citrin, Peri Smilow, and a host of others. These dedicated and talented musicians kept our toes tapping, our hands clapping, our bottoms dancing and our voices singing from one end of the Biennial convention to the other.

Better than reading my words about the music, though, watch a few minutes (or the whole megillah) of the Kabbalat Shabbat Song Session to see and hear for yourself. If you’re anything like me, before long, your own toes will be tapping, your hands clapping, your bottom dancing and your voice singing.

* * *

If that’s not enough, plan to tune in at 8 p.m. on Saturday evening, January 14th for live streaming of Miami’s fourth annual Winter Jewish Music Concert. Formerly known as the South Florida Cantorial Concert, this year’s event (which is beyond sold out!) will feature nearly two dozen cantors, soloists and other musicians performing a wide range of cantorial, Ladino, pop, classical, Yiddish, jazz and rap music from the Bertha Abess Sanctuary at Temple Israel of Greater Miami. Martin Bookspan, longtime host of “Live from Lincoln Center” will be the guest host and Dr. Alan Mason will once again serve as the concert’s program director. "The sustained success of this annual concert," says Mason, "is due to the consistently high level of executive each performer brings to his or her selection, and the lack of any intrusion (introductions, thank you's acknowledgements) outside of the music."

For a sampling of last year’s music, check out this video:

To tune into the live streaming of the concert, click on this link at the appointed hour (8 p.m. on Saturday, January 14th).

Happy listening!

* * *

Finally, mark your calendars now for 3 p.m. on Sunday, March 11 when choirs from throughout New Jersey and the west Hudson Valley of New York will come together at Temple Emeth in Teaneck for a choral festival…and a chance for you to hear even more terrific Jewish music of all kinds. Check back soon for additional details.

In the meantime, enjoy the music!

L’Dor v’Dor: You Can’t Escape Your Genes

2012-01-01T10:08:00.004-05:00

Special thanks to Frume Sarah for her post, which inspired me to write this one…

At the tail end of the URJ’s recent Biennial, I received this email from my cousin, Norma:

Jane,

We've been scanning some old pictures and I thought you might like seeing these. I hope I attached them correctly!

It sounds like the Biennial went really well.

See you soon.

Love,
Norma

Attached were three photos:


My mother and her cousin, Phyllis (Norma's mother)

My mother, Grandpa, Phyllis

Clockwise: Great Aunt Helen, Phyllis, My mother (in the sailor hat),
Aunt Claire and Great Grandpa Jacob (center)

The last one in particular caught my attention, and I wrote back to Norma:

Hi Norma,

Thanks so much for sending these photos...they are terrific! Is it your grandparents in the third photo...I remember Uncle Morris looking much more like my grandfather than he does in this photo, but perhaps I'm wrong... If it isn't your grandparents in the picture, who are they?

Yes, the Biennial went well, but mostly the staff is just glad that it's over. The Obama speech was a huge success and sitting in the second row of the VIP section is something I will long remember. Now, though, I'm looking forward to a bit of downtime and to getting my life back!

Thanks again for sending these photos. Wishing you all a happy Hanukkah and all good things in 2012. Perhaps we can plan to do dinner again in early 2012.

xoxo,
~ Jane.

The email exchange continued:

Jane,

Actually the adults in the third picture are my grandmother and our great-grandfather. It's possible you are named for him. I vaguely remember him and I was about 5 when he died.

Wishing you a Happy Hannukkah and a Happy New Year!

Love,
Norma

Indeed, I am named for our great grandfather, Jacob Skaletzky, but it may be that I carry more than his name…

Quite by coincidence, I received this email late last week from another “cousin”:

Hello Nina, Sue, Barbara and Jane,

I got your name and email address from the new FORCE Genetic Mutation Database. All of you have the same mutation as me, 6174delT. I am emailing you because I am interested in taking this database one step further and starting to find/ investigate the origins of the mutation. We are all distantly related to one another, so I thought that it would be wonderful if we could try to create a family tree or at least gain additional insight. I can date the mutation in my family back to my great grandmother who was named Sarah Turkinovitch Rubin and was from the town of Pinsk in Poland/ Russia now modern day Belarus. I know that she had the mutation because she died of breast cancer in her early 40's in the 1920s. However, I know very little else about this side of the family and am only starting to put the pieces together. On my other side of the family (my mom's side, the BRCA mutation comes from my dad's side) I helped to create a family tree that is now over 40 pages long and 10 generations, so I have some experience although I had a lot of help and more to go on.

I recently (Dec. 13) underwent a prophylactic double mastectomy and am still in the healing process. It was a really hard decision for me to make that took over four years, but now that it’s done I am glad that I no longer have a cancer cloud looming over my head and am looking forward to seeing my daughter grow up and someday playing with my grandchildren.

I noticed on the database that so far almost everyone who has listed the 6174delT mutation also has listed that they have family who where Jewish from Poland and/or Russia. I would like to know if you know where exactly in Poland/ Russia your ancestors were from? I know from internet research that the city of Pinsk was once 90% Jewish. I wonder if the origins of this gene could have come from this area?

Let me know if any of you are interested in helping with this investigation and if you have any genealogy experience, insight or family trees that might help lend insight.

Wishing you a happy and healthy 2012.

Jessica

Reading Jessica’s email, I was reminded of a phone call my mom had received—perhaps a dozen or so years ago, perhaps longer—from Nancy Jacobs, a complete stranger. She and her family had been visiting Ellis Island from Los Angeles when they saw the plaque there that commemorates my grandparents’ arrival in America. (My mom had purchased it as part of the Ellis Island restoration project spearheaded by Lee Iacocca in the 1980s.) Once back home, Nancy tracked down my parents’ phone number and reached out to my mom.

And so I wrote back to Jessica…

Hi Jessica,

First of all, I hope that your recovery from your recent PBM is going smoothly and that you are feeling well. Many thanks for your note and all the genealogy information you sent. It's exceedingly interesting and prompted me to be in touch with Nancy Jacobs, a family member (by marriage) on my mother's side who has done scads of genealogical research on her husband Bob's family, who hailed from Skalat (my mother's maiden name was Skaletzky as was Bob's mother's) in present day Ukraine. (As I understand it, in shetl times, some days it was in Poland and other days in Russia, depending on who was in charge at the time.) A number of years ago, we provided Nancy with my mom's family tree as we know it, but as far as I know, she hasn't been able to connect it with the part of the tree that includes her husband and his family. However, with such an uncommon name as Skaletzky, we're positive that there is a connection and that we're cousins of one sort or another.

In any event, pasted below is the note that I just sent Nancy (which also will give you a bit of background about my BRCA journey).

Hi Nancy,

You may recall that my parents and I met you a number of years ago (probably more than 10 now), when I was living in Los Angeles and they came out to visit. I've since divorced, moved back to New York and recently have become interested in Skaletzky genealogy for a specific reason. Here's the back story:

A year and a half ago, I lost my mother (Diana Skaletzky Herman, daughter of Julius and Fanny Skaletzky) to an exceedingly virulent and aggressive form of breast cancer that took her life in a matter of weeks. Her sister (Claire Skaletzky Glasser) had previously had breast cancer, but survived. Shortly after my mom died, my sister and I opted to pursue genetic counseling and testing for the BRCA gene mutations common among Ashkenazi Jews. Although my sister tested negative, I tested positive for one of the BRCA2 founder mutations (6174delT) which significantly increases my lifetime risk of both breast and ovarian cancer. Although they don' t know for sure, the geneticists surmise with great certainty that I received the mutation from my mom. I further suspect that my mom received the mutation from her father, who died of prostate cancer, which is how the BRCA mutation often expresses itself in males. (Her mother, my grandmother, lived to be 95 and never had breast or ovarian cancer. She died of plain old age.)

So...all this information is by way of background to ask if you've possibly encountered other Skaletzkys who are positive for a BRCA mutation. Neither my aunt (Claire) nor her two sons (Marc and Ted) have been tested for the mutation and so thus far, I am the only person in my immediate family who is known to have the gene mutation. Of course, I hope that this isn't something that runs wildly in our family, but if my theory is correct, I wouldn't be surprised to learn of others who have faced this issue...and would be interested in being in touch with them. Having watched what happened to my mom and how quickly this disease took her life, I opted for all the prophylactic surgeries during this last year and am feeling well. Most of all, I'm relieved that I don't have to worry about the possibility that either disease will take my life.

I hope that you and your family are well and that you might add my name and email address (jherman0129@gmail.com) to any updates you provide about your Skaletzky genealogy research.

All the best for 2012,
Jane Herman

Jessica, I will, of course, let you know if I hear back from Nancy and would be interested to know, too, if you hear from any of our 6174delT "cousins" who were on your original email. Thanks again for being in touch with such an interesting slant on the BRCA gene...I hope we might be able to uncover some relevant information!

All the best for a continued smooth recovery and good health in 2012.

~ Jane.

To be continued…

ChallahCrumbs.com Needs Your Vote

2011-12-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

In addition to keeping Rabbi David Saperstein organized, on track and moving in the right direction each and every day, my friend Daphne Price is the food editor of ChallahCrumbs.com, which recently was nominated as a “Best Kosher Food Blog.”

Nominations and voting end on January 11, 2012 and in a shameless appeal to garner votes for Daphne’s blog, I urge you to:

Visit joyofkosher.com
Scroll down to ChallahCrumbs.com/Daphne Price (it’s the 11^th entry on the list)
Click on the vote button
Pass the word (it’s one vote per IP address, so encourage your friends to visit and vote, too!)

Winners will be announced on February 1 and I, for one, am rooting for ChallahCrumbs.com. Go, Daphne!

Biennial: It’s a Family Thing

2011-12-23T20:31:00.000-05:00

A few weeks before the URJ’s recent Biennial convention, I received an email from a young rabbi and CCAR staff member who amicably inquired about whether his family’s hotel room (for himself, his rabbi wife, and their young daughter) could be near that of his mother (also a rabbi), his grandmother (who’s been attending Biennials for roughly 50 years), and his in-laws (one of whom is a cantor).

I responded with this:

Hi Dan,

I am, indeed, the right person for your request.

Currently, your room is slated to be adjacent to your mother's room. I certainly can submit your other requests regarding her mom and your in-laws to the hotel, but cannot guarantee that they'll be able to get everyone close together.

Look forward to meeting you there,
~ Jane.

P.S. On a personal note, I was very touched by your email and the "family affair" that Biennial is for all of you. My mom, who died last year, loved Biennial and had been attending for longer than I've been working at the Union. This will be my first Biennial without my parents in attendance...

Dan then graciously wrote again:

Hi Jane,

Thanks for taking care of this and submitting the extra requests! This will really mean a lot to my family.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It's pretty amazing that her love of Biennial predated your working at the Union. If you'd like to have some family time, my family would be happy to adopt you!

Looking forward to meeting you in person, as well.
Thanks again!
Dan

Although I regret that I didn’t have a chance to meet Dan or his family, I did, ironically enough, meet some family of my own!

It was Friday morning and as I left the room where I’d just finished co-leading a 20-minute learning session with the dcc on congregational blogging, a woman approached me:

“Are you Jane?”

“Yes…”

“I’m your cousin, Rena Riback.”

And indeed she is! Her father, z.l., and my father were first cousins…her grandmother and my grandfather, brother and sister.

And so it was that thanks to Rena, I--like Dan--was able to have some family time at the Biennial, too.

And how did she know I’d be there in the first place? From the Facebook page of another Riback cousin, of course!

No, I Haven't Forgotten About You

2011-12-16T00:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Blog,

No, I haven't forgotten about you...I've just been Biennial busy. In fact, I hope your ears were ringing yesterday when Ima (who was off the bima at the time) and I presented a 20-minute learning session about congregational blogging for beginners. Take a look at the presentation here. If your ears were ringing, get ready for them to ring again tomorrow when the dcc and I will do a similar presentation for advanced users (in Chesapeake J at 9:45 a.m).

Here are a few other things keeping me on the go:

Arranging housing, making adjustments and ironing out challenges for staff members, musicians, speakers and VIPs
Catching up with Frume Sarah and meeting ZaydeGiraffe and Syl, both from her world
Counting Shabbat lunches
Hugging my mom's friends and reminiscing with them about how much she loved Biennial (and all things URJ). We all concur that she's here in spirit and is, we know, smiling down on what she sees.
Caffeine, caffeine and more caffeine

That last dose is wearing off, though, and so it's time for me to say lailah tov. I'll be in more regular touch again when I get back home to New York, but in the meantime, I miss you and hope you're taking good care.

xoxo,
JanetheWriter

Happy Birthday, The Mums

2011-11-19T12:40:00.001-05:00

Dear The Mums,

I hope that you had a happy birthday this week up there in the Yeshivah shel Mal'ah (Yeshiva on High). We, of course, missed you terribly—as we do every day—talked about you often, and thought about you even more.

Last Wednesday night, erev your birthday and despite the Biennial planning maelstrom, I left the office on the dot of five and headed to St. Andrews Restaurant near Times Square where I met The Bridge Ladies (yes, all of them!) for dinner: Mrs. Davidson, Mrs. Gallagher, Mrs. Coopersmith, Mrs. Eisenberg (who had to leave early and isn’t in the photo), Mrs. Phelan, and even Mrs. Salzman, who’d traveled from Richmond, VA, for the reunion!

The Bridge Ladies (and me)

Of course there were hugs and kisses all around, endless laughter, kvelling over children and grandchildren (yes, I showed everyone Ian’s picture), talk about the current political and economic mess in our country, and lots and lots of reminiscences about the old days: school board elections, game strategies, Mrs. Skoultchi’s sweeping hand gesture when she opted to “pass” in the bidding process, and so much more.

Tee-shirts courtesy of Mrs. Salzman

I’d brought along the picture from the fridge of all of you standing with the cardboard presidential candidate Michael Dukakis. To a person, everyone said, “Look how young we were!” Actually, I thought everyone looked pretty much the same…which is what they all said about me.

Needless to say, the time flew and before long, we were paying the bill and saying our good-byes.

The next day, I received this email from Mrs. Davidson:

It was a great night and we were so happy you were with us. You helped fill up the space your mom left in our group. I do miss her.

I hope we can do this again.

You look great and I hope the convention will go smoothly.

xoxoxo,
Lee

Indeed, a reprise reunion is in the works for late spring or early summer and I’m planning to be there. As you were on Wednesday night, I know you’ll be there with us, too.

Happy birthday, The Mums….xoxo,
~ Boo!

The Drop Off

2011-11-13T21:09:00.001-05:00

I’ve never noticed the father-daughter trio get on the bus. They must board at an earlier stop, the girls decked out in pink—sneakers, hair ribbons and backpacks—and Dad looking as though he’d welcome a cup of coffee. For each of the last three Saturday mornings, though, I’ve noticed them get off the bus. Theirs is the 68th Street stop, where Mom’s already waiting, sitting patiently on a wooden bench in front of Memorial Sloan-Kettering. Alighting from the bus, one daughter runs to her; the other hangs back with Dad, approaching more slowly. Before the scene ends, the bus pulls away from the curb. When it’s over, I hope Dad goes to get that cup of coffee.

Anticipation…

2011-11-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

Nearly a year ago, my friend, Frume Sarah, wrote this post about the two of us.

Tomorrow’s the day we’re finally going to meet up again and I, for one, am so excited. (Queue the Pointer Sisters...)

Stay tuned here (and perhaps here, too) for updates (and maybe even a photo or two) of our reunion!

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Bras

2011-10-23T13:01:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: The content of this blog post may be unsuitable for all readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Back in June, I received a package in the mail from a friend. It contained two stretch bras (one black, one beige) and this note:

Jane –

At some point after the surgery, these will come in handy and comfy.

N.

I called her to thank her. In early July we exchanged emails on a different topic. My last reply to her in that exchange was this:

Thanks! And thanks again for the bras. I cannot wait to fit into them!
~ Jane.

In mid-August, at about four weeks post-op, I wrote to her again:

N,

I've thought about you a thousand times in the last few weeks and just this morning switched from one of my uber-support sports bras into one of the wonderful soft ones you sent me. With the swelling I've got going on on one side, it is PERFECT...thank you!

The 12-hour surgery went exactly as planned and my recovery is on track, but as you know, it is a long, slow process. I'm making progress but dealing with scabbing and swelling on one side that will take six to eight weeks to heal. Still sleeping a lot, easily exhausted and fairly uncomfortable, but thrilled to be on this side of the surgery!

Hope all's well with you,
~ Jane.

Here’s her reply:

These bras have been around the country—New York, Los Altos Hills, Seattle, and back to New York. Glad to help. Let me know when you are up for a short visit. I hope you are moving around and aiding the healing.

N.

Last week, I saw N. at a social event:

“If I’d known you were going to be here,” I said, “I’d have brought the bras.”

“Are you sure you’re finished with them?” she asked.

Rethinking my willingness to relinquish them, I replied, “I’ll try to find them online and order a few.”

Although she urged me to keep one, that night I located them and ordered two (one black, one beige) from a vendor on amazon.com. I expect delivery this week at which point the traveling bras will go back to N, along with my wishes for a speedy, smooth, and complete recovery to the next woman in the sisterhood who wears them.

* * *

It’s still October—Breast Cancer Awareness Month, just in case you didn’t know ;-)—and even though I’m off the hook for a mammogram, if you’re a woman over 40 and haven’t had one in the last 12 months, run, do not walk, to the phone to make an appointment. If you want a chuckle before you go, check out this post from 2009.

The Army of Women Needs You!

2011-10-15T20:47:00.000-04:00


I want you!

You’d have to be living under a rock not to know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You might not know, though, that this past Thursday, October 13, was Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day. In the interest of full disclosure, I didn’t know it either until I saw it on the Facebook page of the Army of Women. According to its website, the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation's Love/Avon Army of Women has two key goals:

To recruit one million healthy women of every age and ethnicity, including breast cancer survivors and women at high-risk for the disease, to partner with breast cancer researchers and directly participate in the research that will eradicate breast cancer once and for all.
To challenge the scientific community to expand its current focus to include breast cancer prevention research conducted on healthy women.

In an effort to build a strong voice among researchers and those affected by breast cancer, the Army of Women has launched the The “It Takes an Army” Project, a collection of videos and stories of being touched by breast cancer from its cadre of volunteers. Specifically, the Project asks participants to reflect on these two “distinct moments of realization: When was the moment you knew breast cancer had changed your life? And when was the moment you knew your life could change breast cancer?”

Here’s my submission…

May 9, 2010 was Mother's Day. As I filled the vase with water from the sink in my mother's hospital room for the flowers we'd brought for her, I knew--I mean I really knew--it was the last Mother's Day we'd spend together. Her oncologist wanted us to believe otherwise, but what he said didn't synch with the lightning-speed decline we'd been watching everyday for the last five weeks. My mom had triple negative metastatic breast cancer and 10 days later, she was in hospice. On May 30, she died, changing my life forever.

November 2, 2010 was Election Day. A friend accompanied me to my appointment to meet with the Chief of the Clinical Genetics Service at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and one of the genetic counselors on his staff. Several weeks earlier, my sister and I had tested for the BRCA gene mutations and, although she had tested negative, I had learned that I'm positive (as we surmise my mother was) for a BRCA2 mutation that significantly increases my lifetime risk of both breast and ovarian cancer. As much as I already knew my options, I needed to hear them—I mean really hear them—from people who knew what they were talking about. At the end of the appointment, at the counselor’s request, I signed paperwork and gave blood to participate in one of many long-term studies underway at Sloan-Kettering. (I’ve since signed on to several others.) If there’s even a remote possibility that my mutated genes can provide a teeny-tiny clue to doctors seeking a cure for breast cancer, I say, “go for it!” I am proud and honored to play a role in this work.

* * *

Although I’m off the hook for a mammogram (I had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy in July), if you’re a woman over 40 and haven’t had one in the last 12 months, run, do not walk, to the phone to make an appointment. It could save your life.

A Tale of Two Bookstores: Our Yom Kippur Minhag

2011-10-13T14:56:00.000-04:00

Photo: FreeFoto.com

Last Saturday at the conclusion of the morning service, my father and I headed to Barnes and Noble for our annual Yom Kippur browse. (We do our share of browsing together all year long, but we always browse together on Yom Kippur.)

Once in the store, though, we found ourselves distracted, inattentive and dismayed at how much of the merchandise we weren’t interested in browsing—calendars, bookmarks, stationery, teen fiction, Halloween books, games, puzzles and magazines. Despite the coffee aroma wafting from the café, we did briefly peruse the classics, and I thumbed through The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer. When I indicated an interest in reading it, my father, who rarely discourages non-fiction, said, “No…you don’t want to read that.” Still hitting a little too close to home, I guess. A short while later, still distracted and unfocused, we headed back to temple, where we sat outdoors—enjoying sunshine and warmth—until the afternoon service.

The next day, Sunday, it was too beautiful to stay inside so we headed to Princeton, a great place to wander on a sunny, bright day. We both knew we’d end up in Labyrinth Books, and a parking spot on Nassau Street directly across from the independent bookstore clinched it. We didn’t spend much more time there than we had in Barnes and Noble the day before (I had to get back to the city), but oh how much more satisfying was the browsing! I read a bit more of The Emperor of Maladies, as well as the first few pages of Anne Enright’s The Gathering, winner of the 2007 Man Booker Prize. My father offered to buy it for me, but with so many unread and partially read books at home, I returned it to the shelf. It’ll be there when I’m ready.

And now, a rainy chag gives me some welcome time to visit in Cairo with Loulou and her father in The Man in the White Sharkskin Suit: My Family's Exodus from Old Cairo to the New World.

What’s your current read?

Don’t Stop (Doing What You’re Doing): The Last in the 5771 #BlogElul Series

2011-09-27T22:17:00.000-04:00

Graphic courtesy of Ima on (and off) the Bima

This past weekend, I saw this Lowe’s commercial several times:

Besides loving the catchy music, I think it sums up the message of the High Holy Days—in a pop culture sort of way: Keep doing the good things you do, make the most of the life you have, and never stop improving!

Shana tova umetukah!

Pushing God Around

2011-09-25T13:27:00.000-04:00

Thanks, as always, Phyllis

A few days ago, I received this Facebook message from a friend:

Wishing you the sweetest, most joyous, healthiest and most undramatic of years to come.... I would offer a prayer that you be inscribed for a good year but I think you've already pushed God out of the way and written it in yourself! (It's okay; I have it on good authority that God likes being pushed around by the likes of you.)

Yes, I suppose that in an effort to change the course of the rest of my life, I did push God around a bit during this last year. (For any new readers out there, here’s the backstory: Diagnosed in August of 2010 with a BRCA2 genetic mutation that significantly increases my lifetime risk of both breast and ovarian cancer, I underwent two major and potentially life-saving surgeries in 5771: a total hysterectomy in December and a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy in July.)

Until my friend pointed it out, though, I never thought of my decision as a tussle with God. Quite the opposite, in fact. As I responded to him:

As much as I may have pushed God out of the way to inscribe myself, She's been here with me throughout this entire ordeal. Wishing you an equally terrific, happy, healthy and undramatic year.

And a shana tova u'metukah (a good and sweet year) to you, too, loyal readers. See you in 5772…or maybe sooner!

Where's JanetheWriter?

2011-09-22T16:52:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Rabbi Phyllis, for this graphic!

I'm exactly where I should be, and so is my #blogelul post. Today, it's over here. Check it out...and let me know what you think. Thanks!

The People on the Bus Go Up and Down...

2011-09-13T22:56:00.000-04:00

Photo: MTA

Disclaimer: The content of this blog post may not be suitable for all readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Tonight I took a very bumpy bus ride home from a BRCA support group meeting at Mt. Sinai. For the first time in my life, I was going up and down, but my, um, body parts weren’t. The silver lining for sure…

We Miss You. We Love You.

2011-09-11T11:23:00.000-04:00

Dear The Mums,

As I write this letter, I’m also listening to the reading of names that is part of the 10th anniversary September 11th memorial service. If you were here, I know you’d be watching and reliving your own harrowing September 11th adventure in your beloved city.

I’m not quite sure how you landed in the Big Apple without your cell phone on that day, but as I understand it, a too-small Kate Spade knock-off purse was the culprit. As a result, not a September 11th goes by that I don’t think about Jean Abarbanel forking over all her loose change so you could call Daddy on a pay phone to keep him posted about your whereabouts. Each year on this date, too, I think of you leaving 633 – you’d come in for the Union’s Executive Committee meeting -- and making your way clear across town to Amy’s apartment on 42nd Street between 10th and 11th avenues. When your attempts to catch a cab were thwarted by others unwilling to share a ride, you began the long trek west – which was no small feat for you, even 10 years ago. After a brief rest in Bryant Park, you continued on to The Armory, where you spent the night, Cooper constantly at your side. When you finally made it home on Wednesday, you were, you said, glued to the television for days, not unlike that dark week in November of 1963.

On this solemn, milestone anniversary, our country – individually and collectively – remains stunned by the magnitude of evil expressed on that day and overwhelmed by the loss of innocent life even as we’re strengthened by the community, good works and hope it continues to engender. You would like that.

The Mums, next Sunday we’ll honor and remember you as we unveil your gravestone. But, what has been said hundreds and hundreds of times this morning about so many loved ones is equally true about you: We miss you. We love you. You are ever on our minds and in our hearts.

xoxo,
~ Boo!

Light in Our Lives: One In an Occasional #BlogElul Series

2011-09-07T22:48:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Ima from Ima on (and off) the Bima
for this Blog Elul badge.

In today’s Jewel of Elul, Rabbi Jack Riemer, founding chair of the National Rabbinic Network writes:

Let us appreciate the light in our lives and thank God for it every day, especially at the beginning of every year, for that is when the sun and the moon finish their yearly cycles and start all over again.

And when we do, too.

Earlier today (at nearly seven weeks post-op), I saw the plastic surgeon for what felt like the umpteenth time, and tonight I am especially appreciative of these glimmers of light in my life:

I'm going back to work (for at least part of the day) on Monday.
Tonight, for the first time in seven weeks, I'm going to sleep on my stomach.
I'll be doing so sans bra, although I will be wearing a gauzy, tube top thingy (that's the technical term) to hold a wound dressing in place. (Sorry if this is TMI for some of you, but after many weeks spent in spandex 24/7, this is something for which I am truly grateful!)
Even the wound is healing--oh-so slowly. It's a bit smaller than it was two weeks ago, and more and more granulation is visible almost daily.
I don't need to see the plastic surgeon again until early October. I hope neither of us suffers from withdrawal in the interim! ;-)

I’m feeling grateful for this progress, thankful for the tremendous care, concern and support I’ve received along the way, and more ready than ever to turn the page and continue this journey in 5772.

Mixing It Up For 5772

2011-09-02T13:11:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Ima on (and off) the Bima for
this pretty "Blog Elul" badge

We’ve been worshipping at Temple Emanu-El in Edison, New Jersey, since children’s services during the High Holy Days in 5733. That was way back in 1972, when Richard Nixon was in the White House, the Vietnam War raged and we watched it nightly on the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite, and Roberta Flack’s The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face was #1 on Billboard’s Year-End Hot 100 chart.

This year, we’re mixing it up just a little bit.

For the first time ever, my father will come into the city on erev Rosh Hashana, we’ll all have dinner together at my sister’s house and then he and I will head uptown to services at Temple Shaaray Tefila, my Jewish community in New York. A new adventure for us all…

Ten days later, though, we’ll be back to our usual minhag for Kol Nidre, Yom Kippur and, most especially, our annual early afternoon foray to Barnes and Noble. Here’s how that tradition got started and here and here are recaps of our browsing adventures in subsequent years.

What are you planning to do to mix up the High Holy Days this year?

Blogging Elul

2011-08-31T11:18:00.000-04:00

Photo: midrash.org

Today is the first of Elul, the beginning of the month that precedes the High Holy Days. Traditionally it is a time of introspection, reflection, preparation, and, for some, a prompt to blog daily or nearly so.

You can check out some of these daily blogs here and here. And, don’t forget The Jewels of Elul, which isn’t a blog, but does provide lots of food for thought during this special time of year.

Me? No, I’ve got quite enough on my plate at the moment, thanks. If I were to blog Elul, though, I’d definitely rerun this post from 2008 whose lesson is as timely today as it was back then.

Good luck to the Elul bloggers out there and happy reading to the rest of us!

A Winning Combination: People, Blessings and Pleasures

2011-08-23T10:48:00.000-04:00

Three years ago today, three friends and I spent the day at Coney Island. I remember the exact date because while we waited in line to order Nathan’s famous hot dogs, we sang “Happy Birthday” to David Berkman over the phone.

Although a lot has changed for me (and for Berkman) in the years since that Coney Island adventure, many things—the important things—remain the same. I still try to acknowledge and appreciate the many people, blessings and pleasures in my life. Today these include:

Angela, the visiting nurse who’s already been and gone this morning, leaving me with a well cleaned and dressed wound, as well as reassurance that with time it will heal.

Maryellen, one of the many terrific nurses in the plastic surgeon’s office, who tells me the same thing, answers my endless questions, and wonders why I don’t just move in to the office there at 53rd and Third.

Aunt Claire, who’s headed into New York City for an impromptu visit this afternoon.

My many Facebook friends who, with comments and messages continue to boost my spirits, make me laugh and help my healing.

Countless others who have sent food, flowers and treats, and who continue to accompany me to doctors’ appointments, call, check in, and stop by to visit.

The Dunkin’ Donuts on the southwest corner of 33rd and Second, where many of my recent outings have ended with a medium iced coconut coffee with a lot of milk. Of course it’s not chicken soup, but it too cures what ails you.

With this incredible team in my corner, I look forward to additional healing in the weeks ahead and to enjoying continued blessings and simple pleasures together with the people in my life.

Facebook: Promoting Connections One Friend at a Time

2011-08-15T13:24:00.000-04:00

Rabbi Michael Melchior

I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but this post isn’t about genetic mutations, surgery, recovery, or, indeed, anything medical. No, it’s about one of my other favorite topics: Facebook…and the way it promotes connection and community. Here’s the latest…

Back in early July, distracted and looking for an easy escape from everything on my plate at the moment, I absently began scrolling through my “People You May Know” list on Facebook. In fact, through my work I was familiar with many of the names and faces, but because I’m a “ghostwriter,” most of these folks don’t know me from Adam, and so I just kept on scrolling.

Until I got to Michael Melchior. I clicked on “Add Friend” and quickly added this note:

Although we have never met personally, I've heard you speak on several occasions. Most impressive. Shavua tov.

In fact, here's what I wrote in my travel journal after hearing Rabbi Melchior speak in Jerusalem during my first visit there in January of 2004:

A quick check-in at the David Citadel Hotel, a change of clothes, a bite to eat in the hotel restaurant and we were off again to hear from MK Michael Melchior. A Reform Jew trapped in the body of an Orthodox man, he is progressive, passionate and quite the visionary. Politics aside, he champions the cause of organ donation, explaining that if God can resurrect the dead, surely God can replace an eye or a kidney then.

Almost immediately, Rabbi Melchior accepted my friend request and just yesterday, sent this follow-up message:

Dear Jane,

Thank you for writing to me, and I'm glad that you have enjoyed some of my talks. Please stay in touch, it's best to reach me at the following email address:
melchioroffice@gmail.com

Best regards,
Rabbi Michael Melchior

Thanks, Rabbi Melchior, for your visionary leadership and your accessibility. And thanks again, Facebook, for making these connections possible.

If I'm So Swiss, Where's the Chocolate?!

2011-07-17T20:12:00.009-04:00

Last week over dinner with a friend, she said, “You’re more Swiss than I am.” She actually is Swiss, but I knew exactly what she meant.

I’ve been using lists to keep organized for decades. When I was in elementary school, my mother found a list on my desk that said: “Things not to worry about.” By high school, I was keeping a list of the outfit I wore to school each day so as not to repeat one too soon. Before my last surgery back in December, I wrote this blog post about all the to-do's necessary to prepare for four to six weeks of recuperation.

As Yogi Berra would say, it’s déjà vu all over again…and I’ve got a list!

Earlier today, my father and my aunt (my mother’s sister, the one who’s going to stay with me when I first come home from the hospital) drove into to the city laden with shopping bags full of “stuff” to help ease my recovery once I'm home: homemade chicken soup and noodle kugel (each frozen in portion size containers), several packages of Jell-O (not the pre-made kind, but the powdered version that you make at home with boiling water and sliced bananas), marinara sauce, disposable plates, bowls and cups (so we won’t have to wash dishes), noodles (for noodles and cheese), and miscellaneous other items including bouillon cubes, cereal, canned fruit, pasta and, of course, tuna. Aunt Claire also brought her suitcase and her shower bench, which she suspects I’ll be glad to use as well. The last shopping bag was filled with button down oxford shirts and blouses (the wardrobe item of choice following this type of surgery) from my mother’s closet—and, no, we still haven’t finished cleaning it out. They still smell of her perfume and, in an ironic twist, it will be a comfort to wear them as I heal.

A short while after my father and aunt left, Hiram, the building’s handyman, installed the handheld shower head I bought a few weeks ago, and I crossed that item off my master list as well.

So, here’s what’s left to do – organized by day:

Monday

Doctor’s appointment
Clean (I mean really clean) my apartment: dust, vacuum, scrub the tub and toilet, swab the floors, change the linens, do the laundry, and tackle all those other lovely chores I won’t be able to do for a while. Click here to see how it’ll look when I’m finished.

Tuesday

Another doctor’s appointment
Pay tuition for the fall semester at Baruch College
Get underarms waxed (sorry if this is TMI, but thank goodness someone who’s been down this road told me to do it) Won’t be able to shave for a while.
Photocopy short-term disability paperwork from surgeon’s office and send it back to HR at the Union
Lunch with a friend
Await FreshDirect, which is scheduled to deliver between 2 and 4 p.m. (The order contains few perishables and no produce since it's just going to sit for a week or so.)
Pack a few things (toothbrush, toothpaste, ChapStick, iPod, etc.) for my sister to bring to the hospital on Friday. They don't let you bring anything with you on the day of surgery.
BRCA support group at Mt. Sinai…what wonderful timing!

Wednesday

The penultimate doctor’s appointment (How’s that usage Josh Strom?! ;-)))
And then the last one
Water plants
Backup the laptop’s hard drive
Open the fold-out couch for Aunt Claire
Move the microwave from the top of the fridge to the kitchen counter
Await two calls from the hospital: one from a nurse and one from admissions
The last supper
Shower with Hibiclens
Lailah tov (Hahaha!)

Thursday

Shower with Hibiclens
Arrive at the hospital at no o’clock in the morning
Tie on the bungee cord and take a huge leap of faith

See you on the other side.

How Lucky We Are: A Redux

2011-07-04T17:24:00.002-04:00

Here's what I wrote two years ago on July 4th. It bears repeating today.

Hope everyone's enjoying their grillin' and chillin' (with thanks to my friend and fellow blogger, Elisa Krantweiss Heisman, from Kvell Corner. I "lifted" that great phrase from her Facebook status...Thanks, Elisa!)

Happy Fourth!