Janet's Big Adventure

Art Therapy

2011-08-08T15:27:00.000-07:00

Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life.

Pablo Picasso

I have to say that I love my everyday life. I have a wonderful husband and children. My part-time teaching appointment at ACU provides for generativity in my professional life. Turning Point Counseling offers a haven in the guise of a workplace. But the need for a creative outlet nagged at me. But God was in charge of my life without even knowing to ask for help in that area! I found myself wandering around Art Walk one Thursday evening in May and stumbled across TM Gand! I loved her studio, and impulsively, decided to begin acrylic classes with her.

Here is my starting out art project from the first month of lessons.

From the top left, Traci taught me a series of techniques. The first is wet paint over wet paint. The middle is called water color, which is acrylic paint diluted with water. The top right painting is called scrumbling, using undiluted paint with a dry brush. The bottom left picture was done by painting a layer on the bottom, allowing it to dry and then coming back with a wet layer on top. The next picture is called scraffito. A layer of paint is laid down and allowed to dry, then another layer is on top is scratched through to reveal the color underneath. The final apple is painted using acrylic paint diluted with glaze, which allows the paint to be transparent.

The top left apple on the second panel is painted using impasto, meaning that the area is built up using light modeling paste, then painted. The modeling paste is very absorbent, causing the paint to look duller than usual. The top left apple is painted red on the bottom, allowed to dry and then a paint that has been peeled from the non-stick palate after it drying is adhered using gel. The bottom right apple is a collage technique, and the middle one is a combination of collage and peel and stick. The final apple is painted with acrylic paints diluted with gel medium and using a bristle brush to simulate oil paint.

Invest in Happiness by Doing Good Deeds

2011-03-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~ Dalai Lama

No good deed goes unpunished. This common cliché has been recently dis-proven. Steven G. Post has conducted 50 scientific studies on Altruism, funded by the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love. In the last few years, researchers have looked at the so-called helper's high and its effects on the human body.

Scientists are searching to understand how the wish to perform good deeds improves our health and longevity. For instance, after following a group of women for 30 years, researchers found that 52% of those who did not volunteer had experienced a major illness -- compared with 36% who did volunteer. Two large studies found that older adults who volunteered were living longer than non-volunteers. Another large study found a 44% reduction in early death among those who put frequently volunteered -- a greater benefit gain than exercising four times a week. Some smaller study groups pointed to lowered stress response and improved immunity (higher levels of protective antibodies) as a result of feeling empathy and love. The subjects had significant increases in protective antibodies associated with improved immunity -- and antibody levels remained high for an hour afterward. "Thus, 'dwelling on love' strengthened the immune system," writes Post.

Brain chemicals are also stimulated by acts of altruism. A recent study has identified high levels of the "bonding" hormone oxytocin in people who are very generous toward others. Oxytocin is the hormone best known as the “cuddle hormone.” Studies have also shown that this hormone helps both men and women establish trusting relationships. Doing good deeds may also trigger the brain's reward circuitry -- the 'feel-good' chemicals like dopamine and endorphins, and perhaps even a morphine-like chemical.

The phrase “random acts of kindness” has been popularized in recent years. At least one study, described in Reactions to Random Acts of Kindness, published in The Social Science Journal, April 01, 2000, indicates that targeted acts of kindness are more easily accepted without suspicion or alarm.

So go ahead. Make someone’s day. Do a good deed.

My Wonderful Weekend

2010-12-06T14:55:00.000-08:00

This weekend was devoted to dancing, eating and church. Magic Lamp Dance studio sponsored a workshop this weekend and brought in a teacher from Fort Worth, Nadirah Johara. The Abilene Reporter News came out and interviewed some of my friends.
http://www.reporternews.com/news/2010/dec/04/bellydancing-for-life/

They also did a little video segment and posted it online.
http://www.reporternews.com/videos/detail/belly-dance-workshop/

Phillip and I also went to eat at Bon Terre Bleu, in Clyde, Texas. Fine cajun dining in Clyde of all places. The atmosphere was rustic chic, with interesting art work on the walls. Phillip ate pork chops with a peach sauce and sweet potato fries. I had crawfish enchiladas and corn pudding. We both enjoyed a lovely salad as a starter. Our meal was just over thirty dollars, with ice tea and cactus lemonade.

On Sunday, I was honored to be invited to speak at HOPE, on Reaching out to Hurting Women.

Gateway Church

2010-10-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

I attended Gateway Church in Southlake this weekend with Amanda and her friend, Teri. This church appears to be related to the Trinity Fellowship church in Amarillo. The website describes Gateway as a multi-campus, evangelistic, Spirit-empowered church. The worship on October 10 started with contemporary worship songs, and was lead by a band and what appeared to be praise team sitting among the audience with microphones. Songs were alternately lead by a female and a male song leader. I liked the band because it was contemporary without being so loud that the worshipers' voices could not be heard.

The audience participated while singing with raising of hands, clapping and standing throughout the period of singing. Communion was not offered this week. There was an alter call for prayers at the end of the service, with many people walking forward to accept the prayers of altar ministry volunteers.

Pastor Robert Morris, who was the founding pastor, was present by video and appeared on several monitors with a lesson taken from Judges 6 about Gideon who was visited by The Angel of the Lord. This passage tells about the time that Gideon prepared Him a meal that The Angel devoured by fire from His staff. I learned that when the Old Testament refers to The Angel of the Lord, many believe that this refers to the pre-incarnate Jesus making His Presence known to the people. The tone of the message was hopeful and encouraging. Pastor Morris advised the congregation to listen to what the Lord was saying to each individual while offering guideline to assess messages that seem to be from God. He said that urgings from God should line up with what the Bible has to say. Secondly, mentors with Godly counsel concur with the message and, finally, the the message should give peace to the seeker. In this way, the believer may test the message to discern that the voice is from God, just as Old Testament seekers asked to "test the fleece."

I personally found this worship service to be encouraging, and to ring true with my own studies of the Bible. I would have liked to experience communion with this body of believers. I did like that this body of Christ accepted direction from a group of elders, though it was unclear to me what was meant by an Apostolic Elder vs. Elder. They announce themselves to be practitioners of Water Baptism, but the distinction or definition of this was not explained during this particular service. I saw a nice use of multimedia making the church seem in touch with a younger and more contemporary audience. The church leadership appears to be mostly male, but did allow for participation by a woman worship leader. While not completely multicultural in appearance, those in attendance were racially mixed, and the message appeared to be very inclusive of divorced and single-parent members. Teri, our host, told us that many of the worshipers were Messianic Jews.

The reason Pastor Morris gave his message by video was that this church has several satellite locations, with several different worship times, so Dr. Morris is unable to be everywhere at once. His presentation was very effective despite not being physically present at this service. The sanctuary was crowded, and it would be advised to arrive early to get a seat. The seats were comfortable and environment was friendly and welcoming, with greeters helping us to find a seat. There was a clear method for registering children for security and there seemed to be organized and plentiful children's classes and nursery facilities. Parking was easy to access. All in all, in my personal experience, Gateway Church had much to recommend it.
NOTE: This essay is the first of my attempts to describe the different churches that I may have the opportunity to visit. This is merely one person's impression of a given worship experience and I make no claim to be an expert on religion or to judge the religious or spiritual convictions of others.

Happier

2010-10-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

I am reading a new book on one of my favorite topics. Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar makes happiness seem accessible to anyone. Ben-Shahar teaches the positive psychology class at Harvard University. He borrows heavily from Martin Seligman and others in the relatively new positive psychology movement. I found that Ben-Shahar added to other excellent books on the subject with his emphasis on meditation, and he devotes a whole section of his book to this topic.

I also resonate with the thoughtfully chosen title, as it highlights the theme that a happy life is not an event, but a journey. Each chapter is full of exercises, thought provoking questions and ideas for meditation that urge the reader along the path toward happiness..

One chapter highlights the simple, yet empirically proven practice of daily gratitude. This is a principle that I use with most of my clients in my own counseling practice. I designed a simple handout to record Three Good Things. About Good Thing, the client is asked to list a way that they contributed to the Good Thing that happened. Of course, God is credited for our blessings, but we must make ourselves available to participate in the blessings. Optimism is that realization that each individual can do things that make a difference. It's a walking away from helplessness and passivity.

Happiness is a journey that each of us can set out on. Happier acts as a map for the trip; each set of expectations and exercises is a guidepost encouraging the reader along the way.

THREE GOOD THINGS

GRATITUDE

Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all. William Faulkner

List three good things that happened to you today. Make them specific.

1.

2.

3.

OPTIMISM

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Helen Keller

Write a possible explanation of why these good things happened

1.

2.

3.

Phillip's Left Knee Part 2

2010-09-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

Phillip's knee replacement surgery was a mere 13 days ago. He had his follow-up visit with Dr. Jeremy Britton today. He got the staples removed from his 8 inch long surgical scar. Apparantly, Phillip is the knee surgery poster boy. Dr. Britton said he has only had one patient have a faster recovery.

Phillip was able to go to church last week, just a day after being discharged from the hospital. He no longer needed a walker or cane as of last Thursday, and today, he worked all day. Of course, his right hand man and son, Josh, was there to do the heavy lifting. But it is a miracle that he can stay up all day and work at all.

He has had very little bruising, and his pain level is much less already, than it was the day before surgery.

We credit the prayers of all of our friends and the grace of God for such a wonderful blessing! I also have to admire and credit my husband for losing 92 pounds in the past ten months in preparation for this surgery.

Way to go Phillip! You're the man!

Phillip's Left Knee

2010-09-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

After having to miss out on this summer's vacation at the beach at Ft. Morgan, AL, due to a blood clot behind his knee, and too much pain and stiffness to travel, Phillip has decided that it is time to take a risk: knee replacement surgery!

Phillip and I just spent his last weekend with his original knees. Wednesday morning we go to Hendrick Medical Center and trust Dr. Jeremy Britton with his knee. Last Friday, we went to Bone School, and got a huge notebook full of resources and instructions for how to care for him during surgery. Phillip will soon be my Bionic Man, and will have a $10,000 prosthetic. He wants the new lump of miracle metal and artificial cartilage to end up in his left knee, as indicated by his pointing finger tips.

The right knee will be next, but he nixed the idea of replacing both at the same time. I think that was a great decision. I am hoping and praying that this procedure will be a huge success and his pain level will soon be much improved.

So here goes a big deal for my sweet husband. He has lived with a lot of pain for the past decade. Here's hoping that this next decade will feel a lot better.

Mexican Stack for HOPE

2010-09-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

The church I attend has supper every Sunday evening after worship. This is a time of fellowship and family communication time. Meal teams take turns preparing the meal. HOPE has eleven meal teams this year, so the work is shared. This year's new team is comprised of Phillip and me, Laura and KB Massingill, Nancy Lozano, and Debbie and David Blankenship.

We don't have much in the way to prepare food, so many of our pot-luck meals are prepared in turkey roasters. This week, Team 1 is preparing Mexican Stack for 110 hungry members.

Shopping List (at Sam's, we spent $103.71)

25 lbs. lean grass fed ground beef, donated by Phillip Comton and Charlotte. I could have also used three 10 lb. tubes of ground beef.
8 bags of Doritos
4 giant bags of shredded lettuceer
2 large bottles of Ranch Dressing
1 55 oz can sliced black olives
2 quarts sour cream
1 can sliced jalapenos
2 jugs medium Pace picante sauce
2 1 gallon cans of pinto beans
2 1 gallon cans of ranch style beans
5 lbs. sweet onions
2 quarts of cherub tomatoes

Pantry Items:
1/2 cup minced garlic from a jar
3/4 cup chili powder
1/4 cup cumin powder
1/4 cup dried oregano
1/4 cup salt
1/4 cup pepper

We had 2 large bags of shredded cheddar cheese in the church freezer, and two large trays of leftover cookies in the freezer, at HOPE as well.

Preparation:

Sweat 5 chopped onions in some cannola oil in the roaster for about 15 minutes, then add 6 tablespoons of chopped garlic from a jar. Then put the ground beef in the roaster and spices listed above, and stirr until it is all browned. I set the roaster on 450 degrees. (For easy clean up, I line the roaster with aluminum foil.)

The pinto beans and Ranch style beans fit into another roaster. They take about an hour or so at 350 degrees to warm up.

To serve, line a plate with a handful of doritos, and give each plate an ice cream scoop of meat and of beans. Allow each guest to add shredded cheddar cheese, shredded lettuce, tomatos, chopped raw onions, sour cream, sliced onions, and picante sauce or ranch dressing as they wish.

This meal served 110 guests.

Amanda's New Job

2010-08-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

On Moonday, August 23, Amanda started a new job! She is now COACH Musick and an 8th grade English teacher at Waxahatchie Independent Schools.

Here is her Power Point Presentation introducing herself to her new class.

http://www.yousendit.com/download/aHlUbUpRaFIzS3BjR0E9PQ

My New Passion

2010-08-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

She danced the dance of flames, and the dance of sword and spears;

she danced the dance of stars and the dance of space.

And then she danced the dance of flowers in the wind...the soul of the dancer abides in all her body. Kalil Gibran, from The Dancer

I have to start by noting that I was raised in an old school Church of Christ family. This family culture did not include dancing of any kind. No ballet lessons for cute little girls, no listening the Chubby Checker after school with friends and doing the twist. No ballroom instruction. And as a matter of deep spirituality, no attending prom. I tried to learn a few ballroom steps when my first husband's medical school class was invited to a ball honoring Dr. Michael Debakey, but I was shy and self-conscious with my first experience of dancing.

When I found myself divorced, a few years later, I decided to branch out and embrace new things. I stared dating Curtis, who took country western dancing lessons with me at the city of Abilene Parks and Recreation department. I found out that I can learn to dance. Dancing is fun! It's not evil, and it's good exercise! Happily, there no longer seemed to be an issue with dance in my beloved C of C!

Fast forward a few years. Long years without time for dancing.... One of my friends started talking about her new interest: Belly dancing! At first this seemed fine for her, but not for me. But then a I saw women dressed up in costumes and dancing at Art Walk, in downtown Abilene. I wanted to do that.

Here were normal women of all ages and shapes, enjoying movement. It looked beautiful! They looked so at ease with their bodies. And, even better, here is exercise that looks like fun and where the clothes are fun. Exercise where jewelry and bedazzled clothing are the norm. I began thinking this was possible for me to try.

I cleared my schedule. I prepared myself for being bad at this while I was learning, embracing the possibilty of failure. I decided that it would be just fine to be the worst dancer in the class at first. That I COULD look at myself dancing in front of a full wall of mirrors. Well, I could go on, but you get the point.

I was greeted by a very patient instructor, Jami Chance, at Magic Lamp Dance Studio. I realize now that the whole class had to slow down while Jamie went through the basic movements with me. No one complained. The just dances the easy steps, and my body learned a new vocabulary. I met a librarian, a young mother, a stroke survivor, a woman who works at the attorney general's office, a couple of high school students, among others, who just loved this way of dancing. I'm not the oldest in the class, and not the only one without a perfect body. Soon I found that I could keep up, and there was no judgement when I faltered and slowed everyone down. Recently, Jami has started a new beginner's class, and to my great satisfaction, I am not invited to the beginner's class! I'm not an intermediate yet, and no where near comfortable performing in recitals, but I'm not at the very beginning!

Anyway, there are no picture for this blog. I haven't allowed myself to be photographed dancing yet. I'm less self conscious, but not all the way.

Attachement Styles

2010-08-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

All of us, from cradle to grave, are

happiest when life is organized as a series of excursions, long or short,

from the secure base provided by our

attachment figure(s).

John Bowlby

The subject of love, surprisingly, was not such a popular concept in marital counseling, during the period that I was trained as a marital therapist, during the mid 1980's. While attending the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at Abilene Christian University, the focus was on teaching couples about communication skills, conflict resolution, and caring deeds. Often, as a marital therapist, I would be puzzled and frustrated by "difficult cases" who failed to make progress. Finding the research conducted by Sue Johnson and Lee Greenberg changed the way I approach my work with couples. It is now recognized that adult attachment is crucial to relationship success.

The practice of Emotionally Focused Marital Therapy (EFT) has been empirically validated as effective for distressed couples. Johnson and Greenberg found that relationship distress results from a perceived threat to basic adult needs for safety, security, and closeness. Marital distress arises from "Attachment Wounds." Change from an EFT perspective occurs when couples are able to recognize their negative interactional cycles, and are able to move from a withdrawer-blamer pattern or a criticize-defend pattern into a healthier and more emotionally nurturing way of loving each other. Defensive posturing gives way to emotional connection and compassion for each other.

When working with couples, I often recommend Sue Johnson's self-help book, Hold Me Tight. More information about Emotionally Focused Marital Therapy is available on Sue Johnson's website, The International Center for Excellence In Emotionally Focused Marital Therapy.

An Engagement Story

2010-05-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

On Sunday morning, May 2, Phillip and I were thrilled to celebrate the fledgeling engagemnet of our son, Jonathan, his best friend, Meredith. Jonathan called Phillip a couple of weeks before, and shared his plans to travel to Nacogdoches to ask the McCoys for Meredith's hand in marriage. Armed with the proper response, he plotted a romantic surprise. He carefully arranged a trip to the Fort Worth Botanic Garden with Meredith to pop the question. Jonathan then invited Mandy and Paige, his mother and step-father, Scott and Tina, Meredith's parents, me and Phillip, along with his brother, Josh and wife, Garolyn, and six of their best friends to meet the newly engaged couple at Papadeaux following proposal. I videotaped the new couple's entrance into the gathereing room that was set aside at the restaurant. Meredith was charmingly surprised. Jonathn was proud. The rest of us were touched and honored to share their joy.

This is a picture of Meredith's mother, receiving the "news" that from Meredith that Jonathan had just asked for her hand. Of course, Tina kept a straight face and voice. The rest of us tried to stay quiet in the background.

Meredith was thrilled with the ring and surprised about how heavy it was.

The wedding venue and the date is set! More to come in a future post!

Farewell Spring Semester

2010-05-05T17:29:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about my life is my role as Adjunct Professor at ACU. Phillip just calls me a "junky professor." My treat at the end of the semester is to take my students to lunch. Today, we lunched at The Beehive in Abilene. Five of my six students were able to be there. We had a great time, winding down, saying goodby to our intern and supervisory roles, and laughing. Goodbye my pretties! Next week, new interns will enter my dominion!

Dean, Kenneth, Marisha, Scott and Emily, what a pleasure it was to be a part of your lives. Farewell.

A Great Bluebonnet Year

2010-04-29T10:37:00.001-07:00

Only Texas A & M could dare to improve on native bluebonnets, having created a red and a white strain, and planted them in the shape of the Texas Flag. Of course, they went further, just because only they can, and created a maroon strain, in honor of the preferred Aggie Color. They don't only bleed maroon, they want everything to be adorned with that lovely hue.

These bluebonnets, were taken near Buffalo Gap, on a Sunday drive. There is a riot of bluebonnets this year.

I HATE years that bluebonnets are thin. Thank you, by Lady Bird Johnson, who, after her return from Washington, D.C. as First Lady to persuaded the government of the State of Texas to seed bluebonnets and other wildflowers along the highways throughout the state.

I always thought that picking bluebonnets was illegal in Texas. According to Wikipedia, this is an Urban Legend, and it is merely illegal to tresspass on certain properties.

Brunch with friends at Perini Ranch

2010-04-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

Our sweet friend, Leon, passed away last week. We met him through Pam and Larry, and really learned to love him in the past few years. We were invited to share a meal with Pam's family and Doug and Theta at the famous Perinni Ranch Sunday afternoon.

I just had to take a little video of the cows. How often do you walk through a herd of cows on the way to eat Sunday Brunch.

Of course, we had to wait for our meal, as the Ranch is popular and busy. We enjoyed visiting in the back of the restaurant. It was a beautiful spring day. Here are Pam and Trish, who are like daughters to me.

This is a picture of Trish, Pam, Larry, and Doug and Owen.

Pam, me, Trish, Amy and Phillip, in this shot. I love the cow skulls. I loved spending time with sweet friends.

Lilacs In April

2010-04-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

This is my view from the kitchen window. I planted these lilacs at least 10 years ago.

They bloomed the first week of April this year. Unfortuanately, the flowers fade in about two weeks. Two weeks of glory, and then they're history.

The scent is heavenly, so they are earning their keep in the Jergins garden.

They fulfill their promise to return each spring just in time for Easter.

Dancing in Jamaica

2010-04-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

I got to dance with these drummers when we were in Jamaica last month. Sadly, Phillip did not video my impromptu performance. Or, maybe not sadly, as I was trying out some of my belly dancing moves in public for the first time. It may not have been pretty. No one will ever know!

The woman in this video was a fellow passenger, from Scotland. She had a beautiful accent, and a beautiful name that I never did learn to pronounce correctly.

Retreat with friends

2010-04-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

Standing: Carmen, Julia, Denecia, Cathy, Patsy, Ann, Barbara, Linda, Wanda, Florinda, Janet
Seated: Svetlana, Nancy

Denecia opened her home for food, fellowship and Bible study. We were out in the country near Comanche. Denecia reviewed the life of King David, using a children's coloring book illustrating his life as the outline. We had a wonderful time. Thank you, God, for wonderful friends!

Pet Therapy

2010-04-08T16:42:00.001-07:00

The puppy is named Seasonal. She is three weeks old. She, sadly, is not mine.

Her owner brough her to my office for me to hold during a therapy session. The therapy was supposed to be for the owner.

I got all the benefits. The little puppy snuggled up to my neck. She smelled like puppy breath and love. What a great start to a wonderful day.

Here's My Song!

2010-04-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

I have seen several posts about the song that was famous the day they were born. So I clicked on the site and found my birhday song was Rags to Riches by Tony Bennett.

Or if you prefer, here is the great, Elvis Presley with his version!

I love black leather coat Elvis. Be still my heart! Sorry, Tony, you just didn't do it for me this time.

Tulum

2010-03-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

Phillip and I visited the Tulum Mayan Ruins when we stopped in Cozumel. The first thing we found out was that the Mayans still exist and many still live a primitive life-style in the Yucatan peninsula. Our tour guide was of Mayan descent and was very informative and passionate about the history of his people.

Tulum stands on a bluff facing the rising sun looking out on views of the Caribbean that are beautiful.

In Maya, Tulum means "Wall", and the city was christened thus because it is a walled city; one of the very few the ancients ever built. We entered the site, in fact, through a gate in the ancient wall.

The buildings once featured colorful paintings. The Mayan artists utilized natural pigments with brilliant colors, and a few remnants of the color are still intact.

This sculpture is supposed to be of a woman giving birth. I really can't see that in the design, but it fits in with the Mayan worship of their numerous gods and goddesses.

I'm a Great Aunt!

2010-03-26T18:08:00.001-07:00

My brother and little Jackson Guy!
I couldn't wait to get my hands on the sweet baby. I have to restrain myself from camping out at my niece's house so I can cuddle him.

My sweet neice, M'Chelle, delivered a beautiful son on March 23. I am so excited about having a new baby in the family! His was a healthy birth and he left Hotel M'Chelle at 8 lbs., 2 oz. and 20 inches in lenghth. Thanks to the Lord for such a blessing. Bibby really enjoyed holding him.

My only sadness is that Cathy is not here to enjoy this moment and to be with M'Chelle. I know that she is up in heaven telling his guardian angels keep a close watch.

2010-03-19T11:15:00.001-07:00

Royal Caribbean

2010-03-17T17:20:00.000-07:00

Phillip and I just completed a cruise on the Voyager of The Seas out of Galveston. I will post pictures of this vacation in the next few posts. This is one of Phillip and me dressed up for formal night. We are in the Aquarium Bar.

Things ARE Getting Better

2010-01-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

So much for the good old days! According to Oprah, here are 100 better things! I just ordered some Sculpz for myself, the number two item.