Janice L Tarver's Somewhere In Time

The Peace that Passes All Understanding

2011-10-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had that feeling, sometimes it happens when someone passes over, sometimes when you hear something that stops you in your tracks.

Being in nature, being present is another way to describing it perhaps.

Everything seems to stop all the chatter in your head quiets.

It's truly a feeling one never forgets, it stays with you, it calls to you.

"Total Presence" No thought, how wonderful.

To explain it desolves it. It's truly nothing you want to explain. In the moment.

Go out in nature this weekend and see if you can't feel this wonderful presence.

Love,

Janice

Those Who Were Left Behind

2011-10-21T04:46:00.000-07:00

This week I've had three clients who have experienced family or friends who have committed suicide. I've been asked to talk about my beliefs regarding this. I believe that most who take their own lives are so upset and deeply hurt about life that they don't think about how this affects those who are left behind.

I believe when they go over to the other side, they're in a loving place, and surrounded by loving souls who together all watch the ones that are left behind, and how the suicide has changed or affected them forever.

I've seen movies that depict souls going into a limbo place, I've never believed that!

I wonder if a soul comes here too soon, do they not seem to fit, as it's been my experience, when talking for these souls, that seems to be the thread. "I never fit" "I didn't feel I belonged there" "Nothing seemed right, at any time of my life" " I told everyone, I knew I wouldn't stay and die an elderly person".

We're in a history of war and genecide, and just watching TV the violence is overwhelming. Children are being bullied to a point where their taking their life. When is this going to stop? People hate the president just because he's black. So no matter what he does or doesn't do, it's get rid of him.

One of the Buddha's teachings was to simply hold up a flower... his disciples were unsure as to the message at first, but finally they all began to smile.

Getting back to nature, seeing the simplicity , and beauty of it, is perhaps the gift and the way back.

My Love,

Janice

The Truth Will Set You Free

2011-10-11T18:47:00.000-07:00

THAT'S THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.

What is the truth anyway?

Politicians are fighting with each other because their truth is different than the other side's truth. Who's right Who's wrong. Neither.

The truth is what you decide it to be. The truth for you, because of your life experience, might be very different for someone who has not had the experience.

People tend to want to fight for what they believe is true . Had you ever had the experience of someone telling you, that you were absolutely wrong! Knowing of course,that you are not wrong.

This happened a lot to me as a child, "Did you just stick your tongue out at me?" My answer, 'NO!' and yet the response was "I don't believe you, I know you did"

My head was saying, "I wanted to, but I didn't dare, I know I would have caught more hell".

"The Truth Will Set You Free". How many times have we heard that. It doesn't seem to be solving much lately.

Perhaps. "I know we might disagree, but that's okay, let's compromise" "I'm willing to see your point of view, but please consider mine."

Just a thought.

My love,

Janice

2011-10-06T18:59:00.001-07:00

The Blind Girl

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Patience? Humbug!

2011-10-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

Because our house is not selling, everyone is saying be patient! I don't consider myself to be a patient person! I can hear my husband saying "You Think"!

So , I pulled out my Abraham book written by Jerry and Esther Hicks to see what was said about patience.

The following is a quote from their book, The Law of Attraction.

Jerry asks, " How do you feel telling someone, 'Just be patient?'

Abraham's answer-- 'When you understand the Law of Attraction... and when you begin to deliberately direct your own thoughts... then the things you desire will flow quickly and steadily into your experience- and patience will not be necessary.'

We are not excited about anyone learning patience, for it implies that things naturally take a long time, and that is not true.

They only take a long time coming, when your thoughts are contradicted. If you move forward and then backward, then forward and then backward... you could potentially never get to where you want to go.

But when you stop moving backward and only move forward, you will get there quickly. And that does not require patience.

Wow! I've been doing just that, the foward is wanting to get this show on the road, the backward has been my questioning our realtor. She's going after bigger houses and trusting the MLS will be enough for other realtors to sell this house... either way she gets the commission.

I've spent a lot of time in the idea, I had to learn patience. This is great, I have something new to play with.

Hope this helps you. If you're like me, it feels like its a matter of patience.

My love,

Janice

Life surrounds us

2011-10-01T07:12:00.000-07:00

I was asked to talk about a dog story that I was sharing with a dear friend.

Recently I had read, "Dog, the only creature on earth who loves you more than himself."

This must be the time to write, because I was sent a picture of Cairo, the dog that helped put down Osama Bin Laden. He was taught to jump out of a jet plane with full body armor and an oxygen mask. I sat and marveled at what he was taught and how he was a huge part of a team of Navy Seals.

Anyone that has had a dog, feels the unconditional love. Lately, I've been painting portraits of dogs that have passed over. Oddly enough, when the eyes go on, I feel the dog's soul talking to me.

I had a situation where I was asked to paint a shepard that had left too soon, I was sent her picture, actually several... I tried and tried, but couldn't get it on canvas right. I felt she didn't want me to paint her. She told me about another dog in her house she didn't like, talked about a child that had grown and now they weren't the buddies they use to be. She felt like a human giving me glimpses of her life here. I gave up after destroying five canvases.

That evening my dog, Angus and I were sitting together on a sofa, when I felt heavy paws step on my foot and jump on the sofa, at the same time my Angus went nuts and starting growling and running all over the sofa trying to find the dog we couldn't see! Finally it stopped. I told this story to the family and they said, she was like a human and had a mind of her own.

I've had many readings regarding people feeling, seeing or hearing the dog or cat and even a monkey that left this world physically but never spiritually!

My Korean tai chi master, announced in class one day, "Dogs don't have souls" I looked around at the other students waiting for someone to challenge him, no one said anything, so of course, I jumped in and said he was an ass if he didn't believe all life has soul. We went around and around, finally I said," You've never had a dog so you can't experience what we have experienced until you do."

As I'm writing this, Angus got spooked by something, so from a sound sleep, he jumped up and started running all over the bed, chasing something or someone he can't see. How wonderful.

We're not alone and that's comforting.

My love to you all,

Janice

What will be your epitaph?

2011-09-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

I was asked once to write my own epitaph. Creating a tribute to my life... or yours. If you want to play, something to think about.

I stumbled upon a book that had people's epitaphs as written on their grave stones. The one I always remembered was-- 'The Only Hurt She Ever Caused Was When She Left.'

Powerful.

I was wishing I could say this... but then, I was not really feeling that it was true (for me). I recall all the disappointments that my parents had regarding me. I've encountered clients who weren't happy and partners that wouldn't or couldn't understand me. I seemed to go back to the beginning as far as I could remember and boy, I sure felt that I had made a lot of people miserable.

In first grade, when I told my teachers who was around them in spirit, they looked angry with me and said 'You better get rid of that.' A husband who said, 'I forbid you to seek out this kind of psychic stuff!'

How do I get there, to the place where I know people could say... 'The Only Hurt She Ever Caused Was When She Left?' Something so simple but yet haunting.

So, how would I want to be remembered? Maybe just...

'She Did The Best She Could.'

Feels like cheating a bit. But truthfully, it is honest. Maybe we would be better souls if we did this exercise a time or two in our journey.

What do you think?

Love to you all,

Janice

Drama versus Happiness

2011-09-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

Basically, it sounds pretty simple as to which is the one that should be preferred... but not always.

Does drama make us more important?

If I have none, then I must be boring! It feels like a virus one attracts and can't seem to get rid of. It seems to build over time, so that that a person doesn't even realize they are knee deep in it. It becomes natural, a way of life, something one can't part from. It's a universe unto itself, and it pulsates at a different frequency than happiness... for sure.

Is it something we've lived with our whole life... and its like an old slipper, it feels comfortable?

Was it taught to us?

I've listened to someone here in town tell me what she had to do in her day, drop off cleaning at the cleaners, do grocery shopping, pick up liquor at the liquor store, go to get her nails done and her hair, and take the dog to vet. Lots of running around.

Is this any different from the rest of us? Does this make her feel her life is different than mine. Although, I probably wouldn't pack all that in one day, but okay.

It's overwhelming, to be swimming up stream rather than down. If we know we have a choice, if we truly feel the choice... Then why would we choose drama?

It's like a soap opera, I can remember watching them when my son was young... my neighbor and I would talk about the actors like they were people we knew. 'Well, she married this one, had a baby with that one but her husband doesn't know that it is not his baby.'

The baby grows up and does the same thing later on. How many times have we watched this? Do we think this is the life we should have? Was it more exciting than what we were living?

They're being paid to hook us into watching this and trying to tell us our lives are boring perhaps? What about the pills on TV we're being told we need because they will make us better?

Commercials are full of what we need to get rid of... or feel better than.

Really? Are they making us better? What's the message? "We're sick" and in need what they're selling.

More drama.

Let's make a conscientious choice... to rid ourselves of as much drama as we can. We deserve to be happy. It's a feeling, feel it, decide which makes you feel better, the drama or just being in the moment of happiness.

My love to you,

Janice

Un-anticipated, Un-expected and Appreciated Courtesy

2011-09-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

My husband Billy started his new job in Longview Texas yesterday. His comments were priceless!

He said, 'I was there at 7:30 a.m. I got my picture for my badge, which came out terrible. I was given a wonderful tour of the facility and by that time it was time for lunch.

All the managers took me and my assistant for a Mexican dinner. Mexican? Right! I live in San Antonio, where there are Mexican restaurants on every corner... just like like CVS.

'Okay', he says, 'I can manage this.' 'We talked about work and a sundry of things. When we went back to the office, and we were all escorted to a room in which ice cream and cookies were served. I was waiting for someone to come along with blankets/binkies for nap time!'

All day I have been laughing at this.

My husband loves naps, my son once bought him a blue ribbon many years ago that said 'Nap Champ.'

How wonderful of the managers of this company to welcome new employees this way. In this day and age of computers, internet, etc.-- I've felt that socially we were going to suffer.

I want to hear my friends' voices, the emotion is there. When I read an e-mail, sometimes I have to reread it and wonder... 'What did they mean by that statement?'

Wonder if that happens to you also.

Create a great day.

My love,

Janice

'The Pearl' -- From The Happy Medium - Part II (Memorable Readings)

2011-09-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

The Pearl

Since moving to Texas, I've been doing readings over the phone. A client called. We went into relatives who had passed over... including her husband. I named her mother-in-law, who also had left this world. Now your husband and his mother are together. I then asked who David was, 'I don't know a David' was her response. Your mother-in-law is showing me a set of pearls. Her response was, I never saw her wear pearls. Okay, maybe I'm wrong, no one is 100% accurate.

Two weeks later she called, asked if I remembered the pearls, I did. She said, she was sent a letter from an attorney named David who had something for me, I was to go to his office and pick the package up. He said, My mother-in-law had left me something.

On the appointed day, I went to his office. Low and behold in the box from my mother-in-law was a pair of Mikimoto Pearls. You were right, she announced, WOW it made my day as well.

This taught me that the future is happening in the present. We bring the past in our present, the future is there as well.

My love to you all ,

Janice

It's Not My Fault

2011-09-16T07:28:00.000-07:00

Some people tend to look at life as if life were setting them up intentionally for a fall. For example, 'The policeman stopped me only because I was driving a new Mercedes!' Or, 'The waiter served my dinner, with a bug sitting right on the lettuce leaf.' And, 'It's her fault, because she raised me to be who I am.'

Unless we take responsibility for what we attract in our lives, we won't change it. This is my story, I can kick and scream all the way or I can flow downstream and see where it takes me. This is easy at times... but sometimes we're lost in the unawareness of flowing up the stream. We take things personnally and become stuck.

I'm forever reminding myself to flow downstream, not up. What can be frightening is, 'IT'S ALWAYS MINE' and 'NEVER ANYONE ELSE'S.' The Beatles had a song in which the words went "When I look into the dark, I don't know what it is, but I know its mine."

Hard to believe we created the bug on the lettuce, or the police stopping us. That happened to me here in San Antonio, I had a fear of authority figures, because of childhood influences, so that included the police, I was pulled over and my brain was asking me, Were you speeding? NO. Were you in the wrong lane? NO! So, what the heck is he pulling you over for??? I don't know!

He told me I was missing a plate on the front of the car! I had recently purchased this car and there were no attachments on the front for a plate, so the dealer put 2 on the back. He gave me a warning, and told me I could use it for a laundry list, a grocery list, toilet paper, he went on and on as to what I could use the warning for. Why did I create this? Because I had energy on anyone who seemed to have authority over me.

I began telling myself they were there to help me not insult me, or hurt me, the feeling was so much more pleasant. When I place the officer in a helping space and not a fear space.

Our attitudes have everything to do with what we are attracting in our lives, once we own it, we have the power to take time and truly experience it, then change it, if it's not what we would prefer.

Create a great day.

My love,

Janice

So... What's in a name?

2011-09-14T15:49:00.000-07:00

We're moving to Longview, Texas... after we sell our home. My husband, Billy, went to Longview to chose a house for us while I visited a friend in Connecticut. We had our hopes on a certain home we had seen on line that had a pool. When Billy met the realtor to go see the house, she told him the people took it off the market!

OK, so that wasn't the house for us. She showed him a few and he came away loving one in particular.

The house is on Sunshine Square near the corner of Happiness Street or Lane, not sure. Wow, who wouldn't want to live on Sunshine Square? I smile every time I think of it.

This got me to thinking about our words, and what kind of energy they possess. Sunshine Square makes me smile. Cancer doesn't, feel the word..... To some, it means leaving this world, to others having to get through something unpleasant. Louise Hay equates cancer with anger. It's harboring anger that turns into an illness.

While going through a self help course years ago, I sat watching the trainers go around checking up on people. They felt like a police force, waiting for me to screw up. I began to list instances in my life that I felt I was being "Checked-up on." By the time I was finished the list, it was enormous. I must have sat for hours listing one thing, then another.

When I was finished, I felt a great deal of peace wash over me. I asked myself what could I say, to make me feel better, less threatened! " OH, they're checking in on me." So from going to "Checking up" into "Checking in on" ...the feel is greatly different.

So, as your going through your day, feel the words that you voice... and see how much energy they have.

Have fun with this. We're taking life too seriously, and remember that glue.

My love,

Janice

Off Line for a few days...

2011-09-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

I'll be off until next Tuesday (13 Sep 2011), visiting a friend in Connecticut. She will be recovering from breast surgery.

My love and thanks to you all for checking in...

Janice

EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE IF ONLY........(fill in the blank)

2011-09-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

We could probably fill in the blank lots of times! How and what would you put there in the blank?

Are we waiting for happiness, believing something, or someone has to enter our life in order to be happy?

A little story I once heard went like this:

A man walked into a BMW showroom and began looking around, The salesman approached him and said,"Happiness is owning a BMW!" Yes, thought the man, this is exactly what I need to be happy. After looking over all the showroom cars, he finally decided on a convertible. He kept on hearing the voice of the salesman "Happiness is owning a BMW". "Great, happiness is mine, I now own a BMW."

He filled out all the necessary papers to drive the car out of the showroom and onto the street.

He felt so proud as the large doors opened for me, with salesman and manager clapping and waving as he was driving through the exit way.

He started down the busy highway and noticed how people were really driving like race car drivers, speeding, cutting people off, he began to get nervous that someone was going to hit his new BMW! Wow! But he told himself, "Happiness was owning a BMW" and he began to relax.

As he's continuing on his journey, the thought came in his mind, "You don't have a garage to house this expensive car".

My, someone could steal my new car, I never thought about that, the insurance is going to be really high, because, I don't have a garage to keep it safe in. Another thought, I don't want the kids eating pizza and spilling soda in the back seat. By the time he got home, he was miserable............

Happiness is a feeling, it's not where we live or what we own, all we can take when we leave this place are memories.

Are we waiting for the perfect mate, the perfect job, the perfect house in order to be happy?

Be happy now.

My love,

Janice

More about ... 'Whatever'

2011-09-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

So let's talk more regarding "Whatever." Yesterday, I decided to use the phrase "Whatever" (in my mind) to most of what I was seeing and hearing throughout the day.

I went to the dentist, and as she's using a drill to clean my teeth, she says, "Almost done." My mind says, "Whatever." Then, she continues for longer than for what I had hoped for, and says again "Almost done." Out loud, I said "Thank God."

Yes, I have a resistance to dentists and doctors of all kinds. This fear goes back to my childhood, but lets not talk about it now.

Then, I'm driving home... listening to the radio and after the weather reports, news, etc., I keep saying "Whatever."

I proceed to e-mail friends, have conversations with people throughout the day, and my head kpt saying "Whatever."

Our realtor short changed the amount that we wanted our house to be listed for. We called and were basically was told this couldn't be changed... without some conflict. All of a sudden, "Whatever" was not fitting anymore! 'It was OMG... we just lost $900.00.'

Okay. So, I go back to "Whatever." The friend I'm going to see next thursday in Connecticut and I are talking about her cancer surgery coming up and my stay being helpful to her. "Whatever" was not appropriate anymore.

It is the emotion regarding what we're feeling that made it "Whatever" for me... or not.

You play with it, and let me know what you discover. We are all in this together.

Life just is. It doesn't come with a set of rules. We make them up as we go along. I do believe this and it is interesting to play with what we are all creating.

I did create the situation with the realtor. In the past, I would have said nothing, this time I said something, and although nothing will probably change... I changed.

I felt better not holding it in.

'Whatever"

My love,

Janice

'Whatever'

2011-09-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

A friend called today... I love hearing from her. I smile when she calls. She began to tell me about her daughter's attitude, as in... "Whatever."

The daughter got mostly A's and a couple of B's on her report card.   And, my friend was jumping up and down with joy and pride. Her daughters response? "Whatever."

We began to talk about how easy it is for kids to say "Whatever and just move on."

Why can't we do the same?

My friend had many occasions with her children... in which she thought they were treated unjustly and had been passed up for awards that most of the school thought they should get.   The kid's response was... "Whatever."

When we were children, I'm sure we had the same response... 'Okay, been there ,done that, now lets move on.'

No holding the hurt inside, no grudge against someone who didn't deserve to get ahead... or win something that no one thought they should have won. No people cutting you off in a line or on the road. someone telling you when you were wrong or when you know you were right.

I've always believed that our children are our teachers and in this one instance, it seems to fit.

Isn't it the responsibility of parents, to work and make the efforts that we try to instill in our children? Are we trying too hard? Shouldn't WE adopt the attitude of "Whatever." You decide.

My love,

Janice

We are moving to Longview, TX

2011-08-31T16:43:00.000-07:00

Most people would say, selling a house and having to buy one is a very emotional journey. So, here I am... and today, I am feeling all those emotions.

Our realtor talked for 2 1/2 hours and I felt so overwhelmed, I couldn't wait for her to leave. She gave us homework to do... filling out papers and of course, we were missing a vital paper that will be expensive to replace.

Wonderful.

I kept telling myself as she went on and on and on... "Janice, your soul has chosen this!"

It really didn't make me feel better.

I believe people are right, we've all heard the saying "Keep your eye on the prize." That would be the new home and new friends, possibly even a pool to float in.

No one loves your house the way you do. When she spoke of 'OH Wow, ... a purple bathroom,' I cringed because it is my favorite bathroom in the house.

'Well, she said, we can put a sign up that says, you'll be willing to paint it a more sedate color if they wish.'

'Why can't they do that themselves,' I asked.

'We want them to feel your willing to do what they want.'

This felt like please others and don't pay attention to yourself and what you want.

Keep your eye on the prize.

I have a feeling that in the coming weeks and possibly months, my family is going to hear me say that often.

Wish me luck,

and 'Keep your eye on the prize!'

Love,

Janice

Clean Windows - Profound yet, anonymous...

2011-08-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are

eating breakfast, The  young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean", she said.

She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry

soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, The young woman would make

the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a Nice clean wash on the

line and said to her  husband:

"Look, she  has learned how to wash correctly.  I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity

of the window through which we look!

Are we taking life to seriously?

2011-08-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

When we're feeling stuck, out of control, angry, frustrated, a good question to ask is "In a hundred years, will this situation matter?" Chances are the answer is "absolutely not."

So why do we do this to ourselves?

Seriousness is like glue, we get stuck to whatever we're concerned about. The more we get upset, the thicker the glue becomes, the situation seems to get bigger and bigger and we begin to feel smaller and smaller.

It's like being in a big bubble of pure energy and you are floating in this wonderful sea of pure energy and all of a sudden you notice this tiny speck that is so small, that it is hardly noticable... but your attention keeps on going to the speck.

You try to ignore it but somehow you keep on going to the speck. When in the bubble, you become smaller and the speck becomes bigger.

We begin to feel out of control, we start into judgement. This speck doesn't belong here, it's not mine! I didn't create it... but of course you did... with your seriousness.

Get unstuck, Feel life, you are life. You are a part of all that is. How magical and powerful that becomes.

My love,

Jan

Are your shoes too tight?

2011-08-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Do you sometimes think your life is a size 8 1/2 shoes and you really need a size 9?

How many people over the years have said, "I'm stuck and I don't know where I'm going."

Years ago, I experienced a self help course-- Avatar^®. One of the workbook exercises was called... "The Expansion Exercise."

The process of ceasing to identify yourself with a location or definition--

1. Get an impression of the space you occupy.

2. How far does it extend?

3.  As easily as you can make your space... extend it out... in all directions.

4.  Include everyone and everything.

5.  Get the impression that you contain the space you have just created.

6. Feel where you come from.

Your universe is much larger than you realize.

You are not stuck... it is just a thought. Get out of that thought... and create a bigger, better thought.

"I'm experiencing and defining a new chapter in life. I'm ending chapter 6 and defining chapter 7."

Wow! How exciting.

My love to all,

Janice

Forgiving Ourselves

2011-08-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

In my last entry I spoke of a soul who wanted to relay a message to his daughter about how much he felt sorry that he wasn't the dad he could have been.

Can we forgive ourselves?

We're all so amazingly different. We are all like little universes... bumping into each other and attracting or repelling the universe that we've just bumped up against!

I was speaking to a friend on Saturday and we were talking about how hard it is to forgive ourselves. I shared an experience that I had 15 years ago... where I had a client who was always late for her appointment. On the first and second time, I told her it wasn't fair to my clients that were on time and if she liked she could wait till I was done.

She chose not to and said she would come back yet a third time. I asked her to start early because the day she chose was a birthday celebration for me and that my family would be awaiting my arrival. You probably already know what happened, she showed up late of course. I was closing my office door and she came running in and expected me to read for her.

My feelings were upset that this had happened and I told her I wasn't going to be late for my family's party. I still think about this, and think I was terrible not to spend the time she needed. My family wouldn't have been too upset with me... yet, I'm still working through this, because it still comes visiting my conscienceness.

I do believe like a lot of people it's easier to forgive another but not as easy to forgive one's self. I ask my clients..."What would you say to your best friend?" Would you tell he or she that they were terrible people? No, of course not. You'd say, 'let go.'

We all do things we're sorry for, we're all human!

We are souls on a journey, we live in a human body. Abraham asks, 'Are you swimming up the stream or down the stream?' This is a question I ask myself most days.

Flow with life, swim downstream, forgive yourself... perhaps when its your time to leave here--

then we can go flowing more peacefully.

My love to you all,

Janice

I'm sorry...

2011-08-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

"I'm sorry, I wasn't all I should have been or could have been" -- has been a message, that many clients have received over the years. Sometimes it's a lost father or mother, other times it is a spouse, or even a child... trying to get the message to their loved ones.

People ask "why?"... for s/he was terrible to me as a child. Perhaps it's just for that reason. From the position of the one that is deceased, they can see how that hurt child is reacting to their life.

By getting through time and space the apology can heal the child within. One client said" I don't feel valued". Her father "Ed" came through to say he felt it was his fault that his daughter had gone through a relationship that ended badly and was sitting in one that wasn't serving her well either.

A pattern creates when we don't feel we measure up. It could have been a teacher, a parent, sibling, even a sunday school teacher in my case, who told me my parents were going to hell because they didn't come to church. I can remember as a child praying that God would let them enter.

Helpful and Hurtful enters the picture. Are these ideas helpful to me or hurtful to me. Choose the one that feels best for you. The patterns can be broken, I believe once we see and feel the pattern, we have the power to break it. It's getting off the roller coaster ride.

Love and forgive the ones who hurt you . Let go of the hurt, its not necessary to hang on. Create what feels best to you. We do deserve, we are valued. It's about the journey, look for the gift, it could be my client became a better mother or friend because of her dad holding everything inside.

"Life is change. Growth is optional, Cloose wisely."

-- Karen Kaiser Clark

Desire and Resistance

2011-08-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

I got off the phone with a friend this morning, she's having a hard time saying "No" to friends and acquaintances.

We're so afraid people won't like us, but we're hurting ourselves. 'Why,' you might ask?

In her life and in most of our lives, it is our history. We grew up in an environment of being told,we should do what's asked of us. No questions asked! Can you remember as a child always asking "Why" ?

I was told, 'don't ask why, just do it.' So ,we become people pleasers. Along the way, we seem to wake up and look around and ask "What about me, what about my feelings, what if I want to do something else.

Will the earth fall off its axis if I say "No"?

Awareness arrives. I suggested to my friend that she instantly replay situations when she wanted to say "No thanks"... and instead went along with what her piers wanted her to do.

It's practicing some kind ways of saying "no." So when the situation arrives, you have it ready.

We feel the need to tell others "Why" I can't do what you want me to do! I've learned I can just say, "Its not convenient now! I have other priorities."

I've decided to take time off for me. I'd love to do that, but it will have to wait till next week. We're so afraid they won't like us, we begin to not like ourselves. For me, I feel more of a respect for myself and feel my power more when I tell it like it is. We can say it in a way that's non-offensive. "Thanks for asking, but I'm busy this afternoon... even if you want to curl up with a book or watch a favorite movie. It's okay.

Will wonders never cease? Desire and resistance is at work here. The resistance to do something one doesn't want to do, and the desire to do what you want to do. Bottom line, "We're all going to Heaven".

So enjoy being you, in all its splendor.............

My love,

Janice

Helpful or Impeding?

2011-08-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

OK, let's talk about the Helpful or Impeding excercise. I like to use this one in all of my life's experiences.

Our thoughts create our reality or rather, your beliefs determine your reality!

It's about listening to your chatter... becoming aware of your thoughts, placing a helpful or Impeding (I use the word Hurtful) tag on them. If hurtful, I let go and create an idea that feels more in alignment with what I want.

I've experienced a lot of people who are feeling "Stuck." If we keep giving ourselves that suggestion of 'being stuck'-- then we will feel it more and more... and it will create that reality!

I like to tell myself and clients, "It's only the end to one chapter and the beginning of the next." Just define what the new chapter looks like. Have fun with it, Don't make it a chore.

When we were children, we loved to have adventures... if we ventured into a dark cave like situation, we were fearless, we entered and even if we came out with a crystal looking rock. We found the treasure in the experience.

It seems that as we become older, we are less willing to have the adventure. We want things to stay the same, yet ,they can't, that's not why we're here. We're here to experience lots of different experiences, that is how our souls grow.

Remember desire and resist? I desire a new job but, I feel stuck (resistance) . Get out of resist... and define what the new job will feel like! You'll bring the situation to youself... on the wings of your emotions.

This is your story. It is your adventure. Yes, sometimes it feels scarry... but it is growth. It's the having the fun of changing your mind... and changing it again... until you create what you want.

My love and appreciation to you all,

Janice

Getting into Alignment

2011-08-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

Getting into Alignment

This is about getting into alignment with the goals you wish to achieve...

Instructions:

Determining your goal or goals in the first step. The next step is to align your life and actions toward the goal.

Step1-- Make a list of your weekly activities

After each of the activities, note whether the activity is helpful or impeding to you

Step 2-- Make a list of your major expenses;

After each of these, write whether they are helpful or impeding to you.

Step 3-- Make a list of your beliefs regarding this goal.

After completing each of these, write whether they are helpful or impeding to you.

This exercise was taken from Resurfacing-- the Avartar^® course I experienced in 1992.

My love,

Janice