Jared's Quote of the Day

2026-01-28T12:08:00.000-08:00

"There's nothing better than a sweet audio system Teddy Ruxbin." -- Ed Saxton

"Yeah, and a subwoofer Billy Bass." -- Russ Ball

2026-01-19T16:04:05.832-08:00

"David Bowie said the least you can do is make the work a lesbian." -- Veralynn Mason

2025-07-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

"The subway is just New York day care." -- Nico Williams

2025-04-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

"What is a grip but a punch in the other direction." -- Charlie Amis

2025-04-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

"Sonic gets your blood pumping and has no rats." -- Jess Kernan

2025-02-14T21:15:00.000-08:00

"I try to distress her with her lack of entry into Valhalla, but she doesn't seem to care." -- Roger Dillon

2024-12-13T09:32:00.000-08:00

"Popeyes is a lot like communism. In its ideal form, it's probably pretty good." -- Tim Sweeney

2024-09-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

"You could hide a whole hot dog under your shoe if you want." -- Jesse Schell

2024-05-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

"There's some kind of zone of confusion surrounding pigs." -- Jesse Schell

2024-03-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

Eva: "I wanted to be like all the cool kids in the movies."

Vera: "Yeah, well, in all those movies the janitors use toilet water."

2024-02-03T09:55:00.000-08:00

"There are a lot of discos and I have to panic at all of them." -- Roger Dillon

2024-01-24T08:39:00.000-08:00

"We try to use "day" when referring to the murders." -- Tim Sweeney

2023-09-06T13:52:00.001-07:00

"In summary, frozen grapes good, bullying bad, whiskey all around." -- Lauren Reed

2023-08-14T13:43:00.002-07:00

"If you come into the office, no one can shit in your mailbox." -- Evan Harbuck

2023-06-24T20:26:00.002-07:00

"Sometimes I do just grab a tickle hand...and squeeze." -- Laura Jurasko

2023-06-07T19:11:00.001-07:00

Chris Arnold: "Even Las Vegas was once just a blip."

...

Greg Velichansky: "And it will be a blip again."

2023-06-07T18:05:00.002-07:00

"Aren't we all just liquids in the grand scheme of time." -- Javier Navarro

2023-05-10T12:02:00.003-07:00

"One guy was like, "What if we plug the whale in?" Like, come on, man. We're not animals." -- Ed Saxton

2023-05-03T08:48:00.004-07:00

"There are worse wafts." -- Chez

2023-04-04T10:25:00.001-07:00

Me: "I'm going to go back to listening to KPop."

Crystal: "I'm going to go back to listening to chalkboard sounds."

2023-01-31T17:40:00.002-08:00

Laura: "Emos don't play by the rules."

Me: "Emos DONT play by the rules."

Laura: "Neither do emus."

2023-01-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

"I love your body even more when it's filled with corn dogs." -- Laura Mason

2023-01-11T12:51:00.004-08:00

"To be fair, my mom might be cooler than me." -- Crystal P Lee

2022-12-07T19:30:00.002-08:00

"Who do you talk to when your HR director thanks you for throwing a sausage party." -- Javier Navarro

2022-08-24T12:45:00.001-07:00

"You sound like if the Swedish Chef and Beaker had a baby." -- Laura Mason