Jarhead Online

Get Paid

Jarhead — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:16:32 +0000

Starting July 1st 2009 first term Marines are authorized to submit their re-enlistment packages. With the economy in the drains and the Marine Corps reinstating boat spaces competition is sure to be fierce. To add wood to the fire the Marine Corps released MARADMIN 378/09 today that establishes the bonuses for FY10 Marines. The Marine Corps is sticking with the lump sum amounts for bonuses that they have used for the past few years. Bonuses are based on MOS, and Rank and range in value from $0 all the way to $90,000. The last thing that the message states is that prior service Marines cannot re-enlist until Jan 2010 and there is no bonus for Marines coming back in.

July Cutting Scores

Jarhead — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:26:13 +0000

The time has come once again for the Corps to promote the next batch of Non-Commissioned Officers (NCO’s). Today the Corps released cutting scores for the promotion to Cpl and Sgt. From looking at the scores for the guys in my shop it looks as though July is going to see the promotion of quite a few new Cpls and Sgts. For those of you still coming up short do what you can to increase your composite score. Congrats to those who made it and good luck to the rest.

FY 2009 Approved Selections to Gunny

Jarhead — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 04:24:47 +0000

I would like to congratulate all the SSgts out there tha have been selected to pin on a 2nd rocker. Unfortunately I will not be one of those new Gunnery Sergeants as I have been passed over again. MARADMIN 357/09 was released and you can see who has been selected to Gunnery Sergeant.

And Then the Fight Started

Jarhead — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 03:33:50 +0000

I love getting emails like this.

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started….

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
‘The weather out there is terrible.’

My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’

And then the fight started …

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy Crap’.

That must be my husband!’

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’

The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’

And then the fight started…..

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…..

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”"

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ said my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt.’ So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’
and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’

I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started…

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started…

Daddy Help

Jarhead — Thu, 28 May 2009 04:42:39 +0000

So this recession is really getting bad especially out here in California. For those of you that don’t know California is facing a 24 billion dollar budget deficit this year. California has the worst credit rating in the nation and therefor borrowing money is expensive for them. So it looks as though the Governator has gone to Obama and asked if he could co-sign for a loan. Yes that is right just like the young kid with no credit history asking daddy to help get a car.

It is THAT time of Month Again

Jarhead — Thu, 21 May 2009 04:38:29 +0000

Well it is getting close to the end of the month and it is that time of the month again. The time of month that those young LCpl’s and Cpl’s wait for eagerly every month. You see if everything works out and their hard work pays off they will become the newest Cpl’s and Sergeant’s in the Marine Corps. So congrats to all you young Devil’s that will be pinning on your next stripe on the 1st.

Free Food at Chik Fil A

Jarhead — Wed, 20 May 2009 04:59:20 +0000

On May 20th (Wednesday) Chik Fil A will be offering free meals to Active Duty and Retired Military and their families from 5 PM until 8 PM. Only thing is I have been unable to confirm if this is a nation wide event or only occuring in the Southern California area. All that I do know for sure is that the Chula Vista, Sports Arena, Oceanside, Murietta, Temecula and San Marcos stores in San Diego and Riverside counties will be hookin it up. I know that my family and I will be attending as we love those chicken sandwiches and you can’t get much better sweet tea in Souther California than what Chik Fil A has. Hopefully more locations are doing something similar and more of you guys can get a free meal tomorrow.

SSgt Zones

Jarhead — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:43:28 +0000

The 60 day message for the SSgt selection board has been published. So all you Sergeants need to ensure that your OMPF is up to date. If you have items that are not in your OMPF you need to ensure that those make it to MMSB and get entered into your OMPF prior to the convening of the board. Also send your information off to the President of the Board so that it is part of your package. You don’t want to get passed over.

FML

Jarhead — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 23:32:38 +0000

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of coming to 29 Palms in April let me break it down for you. IT F&%#(N sucks. It was 110 plus the first three days out here than dropped into the 40s last night. On top of that Arty likes to see how many times they can move in a week and get rounds on target. So since Tuesday night I have slept at a different location every night except for one.

As for what else is going on not too much. The PFC’s and boot as Lt’s always make a time out here fun. Have had quite a few rattlesnake sightings but no onw has gotten bitten yet (tank god). I am slowly but surely working my way through my reading material and hopefully will get at least 2 of the three books completed.

My new favorite piece of gear is the self inflating mattress that I bought at Wal-Mart. It rolls up smaller than an ISO mat (small piece of hard foam). and is much more comfortable to sleep on. So between that and my solar shower that I bought last summer I get to sleep comfy and get the stank off my sack what else coud a man want when out in the field.

Time to Take a Little Trip

Jarhead — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 05:53:44 +0000

Well it is time for the Big Blue Diamond (1stMARDIV) to head out to 29 Palms for a little fun in the sun. This means that my posts will slow up even more than they have in the past month or so. I am hoping that I will have some time to get onto the computer and get some posts in. I am sure that I will have plenty of stories to tell and I will tell them as I get a chance. Just hopin that I have cell coverage so I can get on here and post as well as keep my fantasy baseball team competitive.