Let’s be honest for a second. If your website is just sitting there… it’s not working.

It might look nice. It might have cost you a few thousand dollars. It might even have all the “right” pages—Home, About, Services, Contact.

But if it’s not actively bringing people in, engaging them, and giving them a reason to come back, it’s basically just sitting on the couch watching reruns of Judge Judy, munching Doritos.

And here’s the important part:

That’s not your fault.

The Real Problem: Static Site Syndrome

Most websites are built the same way.

You hire someone, spend a chunk of money, go back and forth on design tweaks, finally hit “publish”… and then?

Nothing.

Why? Because traditional websites are built to be finished.

They’re treated like digital brochures—something you create once and then leave alone. But the internet doesn’t work like that anymore. To be perfectly frank, I’m not sure that it ever did. Problem is:

Search engines don’t reward “finished.”
People don’t engage with “finished.”
Growth doesn’t come from “finished.”

So your site slowly becomes outdated. Invisible. Easy to ignore.

Why This Hurts More Than You Think

When your website isn’t evolving, a few things start happening behind the scenes:

• People who are searching for what you offer… never find you

• Visitors who do land on your site have no reason to stay—or return

• Your business starts relying entirely on word-of-mouth or paid ads

And that’s exhausting.

Because now your website isn’t helping your business grow—it’s just existing alongside it.

The Shift: From Website to Living Platform

Here’s the paradigm shift that changes everything:

Your website shouldn’t be a finished product. It should be a living, breathing platform.

That means:

• New content showing up consistently

• Ideas, insights, and stories being shared regularly

• A reason for both people and search engines to keep paying attention

Instead of just asking, “Does my website look good?” You start asking, “Is my website doing anything?”

What Actually Works: Content That Connects

Not just content for the sake of content—but content that actually means something.

The kind that:

• Answers real questions your audience is already asking

• Speaks in a human voice, not corporate jargon

• Builds trust before someone ever reaches out

This is where things start to shift.

Because now your website isn’t just a place people visit. It’s a place they connect with.

Two Truths Most People Miss:

1. Your audience already exists.

2. They can’t find you.

Right now, there are people searching for what you do. They’re asking questions. Comparing options. Looking for someone they can trust.

The problem isn’t that they’re not out there. Oh, they’re there. It’s just that your website isn’t showing up in a way that helps them find you—or feel something when they do.

So What Do You Do Next?

You don’t need to scrap everything and start over.

You don’t need a “perfect” website.

You do need a website that moves. One that grows, adapts, and communicates—consistently.

Because when your website starts working with you instead of just sitting there, everything changes.

If you’ve been feeling like your website should be doing more—but you’re not sure what that looks like—that’s a good place to start.

Not just with a redesign, but with a completely different way of thinking.

UPFRONT PRICING

$899 one-time design & setup fee + $149/month or $1499/year. Design? Guaranteed. Fixed rate for our service package? Guaranteed. Check out our website package terms for all the details.

When you’re ready to change the paradigm of your static website, I’d love to meet with you for an hour long session. Free, no obligation.

Want to learn more? Let’s go start a fire.

Nobody tells you that grief is like treading out into the ocean.

Sometimes, a wave comes along that completely knocks you off your feet and leaves you breathless. You fall and the waves crash over you. It’s all you can do to stand back up.

Sometimes, the waves barely touch you.

I am slowly learning.

I am deeply saddened to share that my mother, Kristina Kay Hackwith, passed away unexpectedly on March 21, 2026, following a sudden heart attack. While we know her faith in Jesus was strong, her passing is a profound loss to her family, friends, and all who knew her, and we ask for patience and understanding during this difficult time.

Mom will be remembered for so much: her warmth, strength, and the lasting impact she made on all those around her. I don’t have words today to even begin to describe how well she loved everyone she came in contact with.

There will be a viewing on Friday, March 27th, between 2pm and 4pm at Mountain View Funeral Home at 3521 7th Street, Lewiston, ID. The family respectfully requests that anyone who would like to attend please come at 3pm. This will only be a viewing, not a memorial service. Further details regarding memorial arrangements will be shared as they become available.

Galatians 2:20 gives me hope. Hope that I am not stuck in the past. Hope that I’m not relegated to sitting on my hands, waiting for the future to become the present. Hope that I am still useful.

Note that Paul is describing a death that already happened, not one he’s waiting for. That older identity, stitched together from achievements and anxieties alike, no longer gets the last word. What rises in its place is a new life that draws its energy from a different source. Paul insists that he’s still very much alive, still walking, choosing, speaking—but his center has changed. “Christ lives in me” is startling because it’s so intimate. This isn’t mimicry or moral self-improvement; it’s communion. His daily decisions, his courage, even his ability to love are things borrowed from the One who now indwells him.

And then he brings it down from the clouds to the everyday: “the life I now live… I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” That final clause cracks open the whole verse. The engine of this new life isn’t duty or fear but a very personal love—a love that moved first, gave itself first, and abides within him. Will I dare to have the faith to actively trust Jesus to move and breathe and work through me?

It’s my sincere prayer that this print will be edifying to you and yours this Christmas season as we celebrate the birth of the one who came alongside us in our death so that we might have life.

Now available in your choice of a framed print or a canvas wrap, in three sizes to fit your budget and décor.

FREE SHIPPING to the lower 48 states!

I designed “Co-Crucifixion” with part of the English text of the verse on the left side of the image, and the first two Greek words of the verse on the sign above the cross: συνεσταύρωμαι  Χριστῷ, transliterated as “systauroō christos;” “I have been crucified [alongside] with Christ.”

In a world where we scroll more than we speak and double-tap more than we truly listen, “connection” has started to feel like a buzzword. We all want it—deeper relationships with the people who follow our work, our words, our stories—but it’s easy to forget what actually creates it.

At the heart of every meaningful digital relationship is one simple, deeply human ingredient: compassion. Compassion is what turns a quiet audience into a community. It’s what transforms followers into people who feel understood, appreciated, and genuinely seen. And if you want to build real, lasting connections online, it’s where everything begins.

Why Compassion Matters More Than Ever

Social media moves fast, and because of that speed, it can often feel like a loud, crowded room where everyone is talking but no one is really listening. In that kind of environment, compassion becomes a breath of fresh air.

Compassion slows things down.
It adds warmth where the internet can feel cold and transactional.
It reminds your followers that behind the posts and the content calendars, there’s a person who cares.

And that feeling—of being cared for because of who and what you are—that is what people remember.

How Compassion Helps You Build Stronger Connections

1. Compassion Creates Emotional Safety

When your audience knows you’re someone who listens with kindness, they feel safer sharing their thoughts, their stories, even their struggles.

That sense of safety is the foundation of a supportive, engaged community. And it’s something algorithms can never manufacture.

2. Compassion Builds Trust

Trust doesn’t come from perfectly curated posts.
Trust is built from the ground up through sincerity.

When you show compassion—whether you’re responding to a message or acknowledging a tough topic—you’re sending a quiet but powerful message:
“You matter here.”

And trust grows from that.

3. Compassion Encourages Meaningful Engagement

When you lead with compassion, the conversations you create go beyond emojis and quick comments.

People start opening up.
They share stories.
They genuinely want to connect with you—and with each other.

This is where real community begins to form.

4. Compassion Helps You Show Up Consistently

Compassion isn’t just outward-facing; learn to practice it with yourself too.

Creators who take care of their own mental and emotional well-being are more able to show up for their audience in meaningful, sustainable ways. Burnout shrinks communities. Compassion—inside and out—helps them thrive.

Practical Ways to Show Compassion to Your Followers

If you’re wondering how to bring more compassion into your online space, here are a few gentle places to start:

Listen first.

Read comments and messages with the intention to understand, not just to reply. Sometimes people simply want to be heard.

Respond thoughtfully.

A small personalized response goes a long way. It shows you’re not just reacting, but connecting.

Share your human side.

You don’t have to overshare to be authentic, but don’t be afraid to be remarkably genuine. The moments you let people see your growth, your learning, your imperfections—those are the moments that build warmth.

Create content that cares.

Choose topics that support your followers’ needs. Ask what they’re struggling with. Offer insight or comfort where you can.

Make your space inclusive and welcoming.

A compassionate community is one where people feel safe to show up as themselves and to express different perspectives with respect.

The Ripple Effect of Compassion

One of the most beautiful things about compassion is how contagious it is.

When you lead with kindness, your community begins to mirror it. Followers become supporters. Supporters become advocates. Conversations become richer, warmer, more meaningful.

And suddenly, your corner of the internet isn’t just another feed.
It’s a place where people come to feel inspired, supported, and connected.

Final Thoughts

Compassion isn’t a “strategy.”
It’s a way of showing up.

It’s the quiet force that deepens relationships, strengthens trust, and builds communities that last far beyond a single post or trend.

So the next time you show up online—whether you’re sharing a story, posting a photo, or replying to a comment—try bringing a little compassion with you. You might be surprised by how far it travels.

What’s one compassionate action you can take with your community today?

The Last Dove’s Flight

Jason Christopher Hackwith

The last dove’s flight into the world

Was brutally ended, wings ripped from her back,

Thrown to the ground to spite her children.

As we watched, numb, stricken with grief,

Wringing our weeping hands,

The best of us tried in vain to save her;

The worst of us turned away.

She had just arisen, launched from her nest.

Her abandoned chicks, unable to rear themselves,

Wait patiently for her to return. No more.

And the world, this world that once was free—

Or was it ever?—reels, staggers drunkenly,

Soaked with blood. The blood cries out for her;

And I fear, I fear—oh how I fear

She will not fly again.

The 2025 Edition of The Last Dove’s Flight is an all-new recording that is being released under a CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 Creative Commons license. Remixes are welcome! Use hashtags #riverbeautiful and #thelastdovesflight and we will be proud to feature your work. We can’t wait to see what you come up with! Download: MP3 320 | FLAC Lossless | PDF Score

I came upstairs to find the TV on, my mother standing there with a look on her face I had never seen before. As my foot hit the last step into the living room, the second plane hit the World Trade Center. I was then, and remain, devastated.

In the days that followed, I wrote a piece for solo cello and chamber orchestra in memory of the first responders and service personnel who gave their lives, titled "The Last Dove's Flight." I also wrote a poem with the same title. I present both once again, in memory of those we can never forget.

Two and a half decades later from that life-altering event, I am publishing a collection of my poetry, music, illustrations and typography called the river Beautiful. It is my sincere hope that you will give me the honor of coming along with me on this journey.

Copyright © 2001-2025 by Jason Christopher Hackwith. Released under a CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 Creative Commons license. Attribution is required; no commercial usage, share alike. For inquiries into commercial licensing, please contact us.

What is an Idea Ignition Network?

An Idea Ignition Network is a collaborative ecosystem where creative individuals come together to share insights, brainstorm ideas, and inspire one another. Within this vibrant community, members engage in open discussions, pose thought-provoking questions, and offer constructive feedback, all of which help fuel the creative process.

This network thrives on the synergy created by diverse perspectives, enabling participants to not only break free from creative blocks but also to explore new approaches and uncover innovative solutions. By tapping into the collective knowledge and experience of the group, members are empowered to transform raw ideas into meaningful, impactful content that pushes the boundaries of conventional thinking.

The essence of an Idea Ignition Network lies in its ability to foster an environment of trust and openness. By creating a space where ideas can flow freely, participants can experiment without the fear of judgment, leading to groundbreaking concepts that may not have emerged in isolation.

Identifying Key Collaborators and Influencers with C.O.R.E.

To build a successful Idea Ignition Network, it's crucial to identify key collaborators and influencers who can contribute valuable insights and perspectives. C.O.R.E. is an acronym that stands for Common in Passion, Open to Opportunity, Ready to Receive, and Eager to Share. These are five key attributes we've identified that help you to build an Idea Ignition Network centered around shared passion. C.O.R.E. helps you look for individuals with complementary skills, backgrounds, and experiences that can enhance the creative process.

What is C.O.R.E.?

COMMON in passion,
OPEN to opportunity,
READY to receive, and
EAGER to share.

1. COMMON in PASSION.

   These people share your passion. What does that mean? It means that they, on at least a few levels:

   a) Share your story. The Greek word for passion is πάσχω (pascho), which means "to have happen" or "to be affected." It can also mean "to suffer."

   Your goal is to look for people who share elements of your own journey; who have points of mutual understanding and ethos with you. You are also looking for people who have been through some of the rough stuff you have endured. They get it because they’ve been through it.

   What this ultimately looks like is as unique as you are. A good way to start brainstorming is to write out your own creative journey in a few paragraphs, focusing on key life events that have transformed you. Then start looking for other creative people who share similar life events. Especially keep your eye out around you for people who talk about their art in ways similar to your own. Find genuine points of contact, don’t try to fake anything. The only way this works long term is if you are open and honest.

   b) Share your love. The more modern definition of passion is, of course, fervent love. Deep love. Soul-binding love. Simply put, these are people who share the most important parts of your ethos, your worldview. They get excited about the same things that really get you going. If you are a creative, they can be a creative in the same field or in an entirely different one, but they stand on common ground. They have a shared purpose, shared goals, shared dreams, and shared abilities. These are people who are lot like you in the ways that truly matter.

   
   
   

2. OPEN to opportunity.

   These people are open to opportunities to:

   a) Expand their own centers of influence as they help to expand your own; and

   b) Partner with your company or organization in a mutually beneficial undertaking.

   You are looking for people who are in the midst of expanding their own influence. Because you are offering to partner with them to help them grow, they will help you to grow. Again, this has to be genuine and real for it to last long term. It is more about finding the right people than saying the right things.

   Remember the consistency rule? If you want consistent site visitors, you have to post consistently. This is just as true in helping other like-minded creatives. If you want your CORE to post regularly, you have to give them regular opportunities to do so.

   
   
   

3. READY to RECEIVE (the three ELLS).

   These amazing individuals are eagerly prepared to lend an open ear and truly LISTEN:

   a) to what you have to say;

   b) to what the other members of your CORE have to say; and

   c) to what your Tribe has to say.

   These fantastic people are enthusiastic and ready to LEARN:

   a) how to post to your site (with our service plan we will train them and provide support for up to twelve people);

   b) why it is important to post consistently; and

   c) suggested keywords and/or topics they can include in their posts.

   These wonderful people are ready to LINGER:

   a) they SHOW UP; and

   b) they are likely to stick around; and

   b) they are not likely to give up.

   
   
   

4. EAGER to share.

   These are people who are enthusiastic about things. It doesn’t even have to be something that you 100% share a passion with. The important thing is that they geek out over something. If they share your passion, that’s even better. Watch for people who talk a lot, especially people who talk a lot both offline and online.

   One of the most remarkable things I consistently observe in this area is the undeniable truth that passion is incredibly infectious. It's truly fascinating how being completely committed, wholeheartedly enthusiastic, and passionately devoted to your own unique passion not only makes you extraordinary but also magnetizes people who are not just willing to talk about you but are genuinely excited and eager to spread the word.

   We firmly believe that being open and honest is not just important - it's absolutely key. This authenticity cannot be faked, especially in a world where people are eager to share their experiences. When you are genuine and true, people will eagerly share all about you with others. Be real, be transparent… and watch your audience connect with you on a deeper level.

Engaging with influencers in your niche that share C.O.R.E. values with you can also amplify the reach of your network. These individuals often have established platforms, loyal followings, and a strong presence within your industry, making them valuable allies for spreading ideas beyond the immediate circle of your network. By collaborating with influencers—whether through co-authored content, guest appearances on podcasts or webinars, or cross-promotion on social channels—you can tap into their audiences and introduce your innovative concepts to a broader, more diverse group of potential collaborators and supporters. This not only increases the visibility of your ideas but also encourages new perspectives and feedback, further enriching the collective knowledge within your network. As a result, your Idea Ignition Network benefits from a dynamic exchange of ideas and a steady influx of fresh inspiration, helping to ensure that creative initiatives gain traction and have a meaningful impact.

Creating a Structured Framework for Idea Exchange

A structured framework for idea exchange can enhance the effectiveness of your network. By intentionally creating opportunities for members to communicate and innovate together, the group stays focused and energized. Establishing regular brainstorming sessions motivates participants to share bold ideas and challenge one another’s thinking, while hands-on workshops allow for practical application and skill development in real time. Incorporating consistent feedback loops—whether through peer review meetings, digital forums, or follow-up discussions—ensures that every contribution is acknowledged and offers pathways for ideas to evolve and improve. These recurring activities not only maintain momentum but also build a culture of collaboration, turning the network into an environment where creativity thrives and members are continually engaged in driving each other’s success.

Implementing guidelines for idea sharing can ensure that all voices are heard and that contributions are respected. This structure not only boosts creativity but also fosters accountability among participants, making the network more productive.

Utilizing Technology to Enhance Collaboration and Communication

In today's digital age, leveraging technology is essential for enhancing collaboration and communication within your Idea Ignition Network.

• Tools such as project management software allow members to coordinate tasks, set deadlines, and monitor progress, ensuring that everyone stays aligned and accountable to shared goals. We recommend an AGILE model for project management, a method of project management that divides necessary tasks up into small teams centered around your C.O.R.E. network.

• Collaborative document editors make it easy for multiple participants to contribute ideas or refine proposals in real time, eliminating barriers created by distance or differing schedules. Two great resources for this are Google Docs and DropBox Paper.

• Video conferencing platforms foster face-to-face interactions, facilitate productive group meetings, and help build stronger personal connections among network members—even when working remotely or across time zones.

By integrating these digital solutions into your network's workflow, you can create a seamless environment for exchanging ideas, offering feedback, and nurturing ongoing creative collaboration. Additionally, social media can serve as a powerful tool for connecting with network members, sharing updates, and promoting collaborative projects. By integrating technology, you can create an efficient and dynamic environment that supports ongoing creativity.

Measuring Success and Iterating on Your Network

To ensure the longevity and effectiveness of your Idea Ignition Network, it's important to measure success through various metrics, such as the number of ideas generated, the quality of collaborations, and the impact of shared content. Tracking the growth of member participation, the diversity of perspectives introduced, and tangible outcomes—like published projects or new partnerships—can offer valuable insight into how well your network is functioning. Regularly assessing these factors can help identify strengths and areas for improvement. Gathering feedback from members and reviewing progress at set intervals allows you to celebrate achievements and make necessary adjustments. Ultimately, a well-defined system for measuring success not only keeps your network on track but also motivates participants to set higher goals and push creative boundaries together.

Continuously iterating on your network based on thoughtful feedback and careful evaluation will keep it fresh, dynamic, and relevant. As the ever-shifting creative landscape evolves and presents new trends, technologies, and ideas, your network should evolve alongside it, adapting seamlessly to the new challenges and exciting opportunities that constantly arise in the world of content creation.

Get started today by connecting with two people who share your passion. Reach out and see if they’d be interested in an opportunity to grow their own influence while supporting you in expanding yours. Try working together on a couple of projects to get a feel for their openness to new ideas. Do they enjoy sharing updates and experiences with their own networks? Most importantly, are they individuals you’d be excited to promote on your blog or social media platforms?

Need some help? Let's get together and talk about the possibilities!

Are you KAIOcreative?

"For He is our peace; in his flesh He has made both into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us, abolishing the law with its commandments and ordinances, that He might create in Himself one new humanity in place of the two, thus making peace, and might reconcile both to God in one body through the cross, thus putting to death that hostility through it."

—Ephesians 2:14–16 (NRSVUE)

"He replied, “What is impossible for mortals is possible for God.”"

—Luke 18:27 (NRSVUE)

So I am back home (as of Friday) in the next stage of my recovery process after my Coronary Artery Bypass Graft (CABG)x4 surgery done on August 7th. I’m doing my best to take care of myself and follow my medical team’s instructions so I can heal up as efficiently as possible. I want to thank everyone once again for your kind thoughts and prayers as I move through this process.

It’s going to take some weeks before my sternum heals, and in the meantime I’m just trying to do what I’m supposed to do and keep a positive attitude. That’s tough some days, I’ll admit. The damage done to my body by this surgery isn’t minimal. I have all kinds of precautions and warnings to make sure things heal correctly. The worst thing I could do is fall, and so just about everything I do is very slow, methodical, and purpose-driven. It’s gonna be that way for awhile, I think.

My name, Jason, means “the healing one,” and it’s been a terrible joke much of my life that I spend a lot of time healing up from things. It’s something I’ve gotten good at over the years. This adventure is just the latest example. Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts and prayers. They mean more than I can say.

As Jones reveals, this is something different entirely from our conception of living and moving and breathing within the will of God. This isn’t some milquetoast, vague surrendering of what we want for whatever it is that God wants. The ultimate end of the prayer “Thy will be done” involves actively taking hold of the circumstances of life, no matter how dark they may be, and turning them, twisting them by the authority of God’s will into a triumph and a testimony.

What does this mean, practically? Again, Christ is our model in all things. What difficulty did He ever encounter in His life that He did not turn to a testimony? What opportunity did He ever miss to redeem? Jesus turned even His critics, even those who crucified Him, to the glory of God.

This power over circumstances reaches even unto death, and beyond. Jones continues with a glorious summation of Christ’s steps to the cross as the perfect example of the very concept we will be praying for. With the statement, “Arise, let us be going,” Jesus began his inexorable stride to the cross:

The prayer of opportunity is the art of living dangerously. When we live and move and breathe within the will of God, when we let Him guide our steps and walk with His Heart, we live out the prayer of “Thy will be done” by arising and going. No matter what terrible circumstance we face, we rise and go within the will of God to turn it to a triumph of the love of God, and turn it to a testimony of the power of God.

from the river Beautiful, Chapter 7: The Breath of Night

Further Reading

On August 7th, only a little more than a week away, I will be undergoing open heart surgery in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. I very much appreciate your prayers! There are some things I know, and some things that I don’t know at this point.

I know that—assuming everything goes as planned—I will be in the ICU for a day or two and in the hospital for about a week. Firewind will be closed from 8/5/2025 until about the 15th or 16th at least. When I get back home, I am going to focus first on healing, but I don’t anticipate any issues working at my desk.

I should be able to finish up current projects in a timely manner but they will almost certainly be delayed a bit depending on how my healing progresses. What I don’t know is exactly how long. I plan on playing things by ear, but I will keep everybody updated.

What I’ve reached won’t fall away—I will never see it die,

I can grab all that I want now, it’s the man who hoards that wins it

Maybe if I keep on grabbing, I won’t see His weeping eyes.

Haul, and hoard, and grab another! pile my junk so high before me,

Let me make a god to worship, let me bow before my pile;

May the stream of wealth unending drown me in my happy hoarding,

Let me burn out like a candle and ignore you for awhile.”

Foolish man, so blindly seizing all the wealth that he can find;

Wealth of fools that only hastens his own march of poverty;

He would not wait for what is lasting; he has chosen to be blind,

Now he clutches straw, ignoring the Crown of Life he will not see.

from the river Beautiful, Chapter 2: the last dove’s flight

Come out of the Shadows,

Arise now and lift up your face to the dawn:

The Silence is broken,

A Word now is spoken

And all of the Shadows at once are all gone!

Each tear you have cried is more precious than silver

To the One who cried with you, whom you now behold:

Come now, ye wretched,

Beloved of God.

from the river Beautiful, Chapter 7: the breath of night

VERSE 1

There is a River filled with tears
That courses through these broken years;
Caught up within the reckless love,
It lifts my heart to Jesus.

He bids me see His broken heart;
The wounds for me, His nail scars;
Caught up within the reckless love,
My tears and His co-mingled.

There is a River filled with love:
The tears of my dear Jesus.

[instrumental break]

CHORUS:

And I am ruined by His love;
The man I am; the man I was;
He knows the depths of all my sin,
Still draws me in, and makes me His

There is a River filled with love:
The tears of my dear Jesus.

VERSE 2

There is a River in my pain
In darkest nights and brightest days
His arms enfold me in His love
So we can cry together.

There is a River in my death
Your Spirit falls; I feel Your breath
And as I dive into the Next
I know Your hand uplifts me.

[instrumental break]

Yes, I am ruined by His love
The man I am; the man I was;
He knows the depths of all my sin
Still draws me in, and makes me His.

There is a River filled with love:
The tears of my dear Jesus.

Copyright © 2025 by Jason Christopher Hackwith. All Rights Reserved.

Carl Beech has it right. Perhaps God doesn’t want to heal me.

There are those Christians who believe that it is always God’s will that we be healed, because that seems to make sense to us. God is good; God doesn’t want us to suffer, right?

Maybe not.

When I watched this video this morning, I was struck by several things. Carl has early-onset Parkinsons, but he’s found a peace in it that is truly remarkable because it is truly like Jesus. Actually, it’s a lot like Paul:

That word there translated as infirmities. It’s ἀσθένεια (astheneia), and it’s got some pretty deep roots. It’s often translated as infirmities or weakness, but there’s a lot more to it. There’s an implication there of wanting something; a lack of something, a yearning for something. Here’s what Thayer’s Greek Lexicon has to say:

ἀσθένεια, -ας, ἡ, (ἀσθενής), [from Herodotus down], want of strength, weakness, infirmity;

a. of Body;

α. its native weakness and frailty: 1 Corinthians 15:43; 2 Corinthians 13:4.
β. feebleness of health; sickness: John 5:5; John 11:4; Luke 13:11, 12; Galatians 4:13 (ἀσθένεια τῆς σαρκός); Hebrews 11:34; in plural: Matthew 8:17; Luke 5:15; Luke 8:2; Acts 28:9; 1 Timothy 5:23.

b. of Soul; want of the strength and capacity requisite

α. to understand a thing: Romans 6:19 (where ἀσθ. σαρκός denotes the weakness of human nature).
β. to do things great and glorious, as want of human wisdom, of skill in speaking, in the management of men: 1 Corinthians 2:3.

God, I relate so much to all of that. I feel weak, and I want strength. I feel feeble, and I want health. I feel inadequate; I desire adequacy. I lack understanding; I want to understand. I want to do things great and glorious in Jesus’ name; I feel like I lack wisdom. I lack skill in speaking. I lack skill in managing people. I want. I desire. I need. I lack.

I am weak.

He is strong.

I think perhaps that I get what Carl is saying, and I think he just might be right. Not for everybody. It’s an intensely personal thing. God desires us to be well, but our healing may come at the end of a life that chooses to praise God in the storm if He chooses not to calm it. Perhaps He chooses to bring me peace in spite of suffering. Perhaps He chooses to bring me pleasure in my infirmities. Perhaps He even chooses to lead me to boast in them.

It all comes down to Jesus’ prayer in Gethsemene: “Not my will, but Your will be done.” Whatever God chooses to do in me, I will choose to rejoice that He is with me. “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I really want to hear from you. Do you have a chronic illness? How has God revealed Himself in the midst of your suffering?

Video courtesy of the utterly amazing streams.studio. Check out more of their work at streams-studio.com!

“This terrible, slow disease that we suffer from which destroys

It was the angle of the light that brought me to utter ruin.

The light, golden and flashing off that sumptuous Carrara marble, the light that poured like liquid over Michelangelo Buonarroti's Pietà from behind Mary's left shoulder. It was only a moment, but the video briefly showed the sculpture in a way that utterly ruined me. Unlike every other image that I have ever seen of Pietà, this was lit far differently, and it was then that I saw it.

The face of Christ, sunken in death. His mother, her face wreathed with sorrow but oddly peaceful. And from behind Mary's left shoulder, the Light poured down.

And then, years later, I saw it. The other image. And when I did, this weird brain of mine recalled that single frame from that video, and then it struck me what it all resembled. Those three images became superemposed over each other in my mind, and then my weird brain took a SCREENSHOT.

[What, you didn't know you could do that? Me either. I've since tried to figure out how to recreate the experience, but so far, no luck. I've tried sticking a finger in one ear and slapping myself on the butt, but no luck. Maybe it’s the other way around?]

Okay, enough joking around. That "SCREENSHOT?" It destroyed me. Because I noticed two things about it almost immediately. And then those two things caught my heart and made me weep.

I'm afraid I have to destroy you with it, too.

It's the only thing I can do, really. If you want to come along, keep reading. Mind you, it’s a tough one.

There do be rough seas ahead.

(HEAD’S UP: If you’re not up to it at the moment, here’s some good videos on the inspiration behind the poem and the illustration. Maybe come back later? Or no. I totally understand. There’s some potentially triggering material ahead and I want you to know ahead of time.)

[Curious what AI thinks about it? No, me neither. But if you want to go down that rabbit hole, let me know and I’ll personally send you something… because I did and... well, let's just say that I'll get back to you on how I feel about it).

READY TO GO?

BRAVE SOULS YE. Start the SOUNDTRACK.

Soundtrack tips & tricks: Start and stop the first playlist whenever you’d like. Play the others as it seems appropriate. Really, we’re not control freaks.

ii. agnus DEI | the last dove’s flight

THIS IS NOT THE NEWS.

Michelangelo Buonarroti was certainly not the first to capture the scene, and thousands have waxed eloquently on what it all means. With humility, I think there's something going on there that I haven’t seen anybody else talk about. But first, I need to tell you another story.

It was the late nineties. I was walking near the University district in Eugene, Oregon; my head hanging down, trying not to see the suffering all around me.

That proved difficult, because as I walked, I saw that Suffering was standing on every corner. Sitting on the park bench, eying me as I walked past. Crouched underneath a bush to get out of the rain. Suffering was grabbing cigs out of the sand in front of the various shops to feed the need. She was laughing excitedly, the humor never reaching eyes that had seen too much.

I kept walking down 13th Street back toward the college campus, trying not to see. I was immediately shaken out of my reverie by a hand that reached out and tugged my pant leg.

"Hey man," Suffering said. "Twenty bucks, bro."

"What?" I said stupidly.

"Anything you want." He eyed me hopefully for a moment, then grinned. His eyes looked dead. My eyes wanted to start right out of my head. That was just too much for this pudgy little sheltered Idaho kid, and I took off; jogging awkwardly to the sandwich shop I was headed to. Suffering's laughter followed me as I ran; ragged and phlegmy.

I stood in line silently except to blurt out my usual order; paid, then grabbed my warm sub and headed back to the relative safety of my apartment. Sitting in my silent living room, I stuffed down the sub and sat there, thinking.

Now that I was in a familiar, safe space, I didn't feel anything about the folks I had just seen. Not a thing.

I thought more about that. I thought more about that for some time. Why didn't I feel anything anymore, other than mild annoyance? What was happening to my heart that I could sit in my safe, warm, apartment and not care about the Suffering all around me?

My alarm went off for my next class, but I ignored it and sat there. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't cry. I needed to cry, to dislodge this wedge of indifference that was stuck in my throat, choking me.

I couldn't cry. I suddenly remembered a song by Keith Green about that. "My eyes are dry," I sang quietly. "My faith is old. My heart is hard; my prayers are cold. And I know how I ought to be: alive to You and dead to me."

I still couldn't cry. My eyes certainly were dry. My heart was in there somewhere, but I couldn't find it. It had become numb without my notice.

"Jesus," I whispered. "Break my heart for what breaks yours."

That was it. No magic words. Not a very good prayer. Not even an "in Jesus name" or an "amen." Just an acknowledgement that my heart had become hard, and I didn’t like being that way.

It was like Somebody lifted the sluice gate that had walled up a river of tears. I couldn't breathe for the weight of all of it. I prayed for every person I had encountered that day. I vowed to pray for Suffering every time I ran into her. I promised myself I would pray for every single person I encountered.

That evening, we had a praise gathering in the Rug Room; what we called the common room on the ground floor of the dorms.

I couldn't sing much. But I could cry.

I have never been the same.

Easter 1999 arrived sometime afterward. I’ll admit my mind is sketchy on details. I don't remember anything much else about it except that my tears seemed almost constantly to hover just behind my shoulder, ready to settle on me at just about anything. But the Poem eventually came knocking at my door, late at night:

On the heels of that poem, when I had just written it down, came the aforementioned HOLY SPIRIT SCREENSHOT. (Or, if you prefer, the HSS.)

I saw Michelangelo's Pietà from that crazy angle; the light traveling like water over Mary's shoulders, sorrowfully kissing the beautiful face that Michelangelo imagined as the face of Christ: its calm perfection unmarred by pain. I saw the youthful face of Mary; portrayed as Michelangelo's ideal of the female face perfected.

I saw Mary's lap, which Michelangelo had stretched into enormity to hold the body of Jesus; made small by the sculptor's hand in comparison to Mary. And I saw the way Michelangelo draped Jesus' and Mary's bodies in cloth, and with the light pouring down, I saw the other shapes.

(You might see them if you squint a little at my illustration.)

A saw a teardrop. A giant tear, falling to earth toward the lower left of the illustration. And I knew that Mary's tears were held within that giant teardrop, and her tears represented the rest of ours: all of us poor mortals who will all one day stare death full in the face.

And then I saw that Jesus' tears were in that giant teardrop as well. And knew that the Father's tears were the giant tears that fell. That His sorrow was so much greater than our own.

That’s when I saw the other image.

What’s the other image, you ask? An anatomically-correct human heart, beating? No, I saw that one too. But it isn’t important right now.

I saw this, and it destroyed me.

THE RESEMBLANCE TO THE PIETA just slayed me. And that combined image has burned into my mind.

It’s made me think some more. A lot more.

I thought that just maybe, at the apex of her unfathomable grief, Mary felt the touch of the Father. That He brought her peace beyond all understanding. That somehow, the arms that held the Universe were also holding her. That His heart held hers, as well as that of their Son.

And just maybe, in that moment of unexpected peace, Mary knew that God's grief was so much greater than her own. Just maybe she caught a glimpse of the tears of God co-mingled with the tears of all of the Universe; each of her own tears captured and kept with perfect diligence for all eternity. That the perfect Love of God, having cast out Mary's fears, welcomed her and made her family.

And then maybe, just maybe, the Holy Spirit let Mary glimpse the meaning of all of that crushing grief; that what Jesus had done with His death and resurrection would set the feet of many along the River road that led to the Throne of God. Maybe the Father gave her a glimpse of us: thousands of years later, weeping at an image of her grief. And that we were now part of Mary's family because we were made a part of God's family. That we would be able to approach that Throne because of what her Son would do.

And Mary sat within the enormous lap of the Father, even as she held the Son. Loved perfectly, the sculptor made her perfect... or at least, perfection as he imagined her. Surely the real Mary and Jesus looked much different.

I imagine a haggard woman in possibly her late forties/early fifties, wrapped in worn clothes stained with both the Son's blood and her unfathomable sorrow. She weeps over his body where it lies on the rocks of Golgotha. Naked and almost unrecognizable as human; His skin in ribbons, her heart has felt every blow. But somehow, Someone holds her. Somehow, Someone’s grief is greater. And He holds her, and us, and all this bitter, bitter world.

Incidentally, when I set out to create the accompanying illustration titled AGNUS DEI, I tried drawing that other image first, but I was never happy with it. What remains tries to honor Michelangelo's genius and maybe capture bits and pieces of that crazy SCREENSHOT that my weird brain did.

It's not perfect.

It's never been. But then again, neither am I. Nor was Michelangelo. Nor Mary.

EPILOGUE

Our hearts are utterly shattered these days for a friend of ours who recently lost her son. He seems to have gotten on a bus, run away from home, and taken his own life using poison.

We don't have words.

I certainly don't. I have tried to write this section so many times but I can only say this.

The group our dear friend and her family now have joined accepts only those who know what it is like to lose a child. I, who have no children, have no frame of reference to know what she and her husband and her dear children are going through. I haven’t been through it.

But I can pray.

I have Tears now. I am ready.

• more about EASTER 2025: Shadows Pierced by Eukairos

  This is the second time I have written this story. The first time I wrote it, the Lord took it away from me. I spent hours on it, and then the work was just... gone. I felt the weight of it and mourned its loss. But I did not know then what I know now: it was a good thing to write, but it wasn't the right time.
  
  You see, the day before Easter a year ago, the Lord gifted me with a beautiful version of this article that was far better than this one. Just flowed effortlessly, very little editing necessary.
  
  I remember being very happy with it. I had it completely finished and was just tweaking a few last things when it happened. The web software I was using to write the blog post suddenly died; and it was all gone. Pfffft.
  
  I did my due diligence and worked hard with the software provider to try to find some kind of backup, but it was gone. I had broken one of my first rules and not copied it and saved it elsewhere.
  
  As a rule, I usually create within environments with very strict and reliable data security. Everything gets backed up in several locations: locally and in the cloud via DropBox. Some very precious data is backed up via Dreamhost. For some reason I hadn't done that this time. I was pretty devastated.
  
  [Are you sure you want the details? Okay, I warned ya. Truth is, the loss was brutal. This was something I had desperately wanted to get right, and had spent hours on. It was easy to blame the web software and the company behind it, but eventually I blamed myself. I spiraled into a deep depression that took me out of the fight for a long while. Took some hard work to climb up and out of that one but we did it. Eventually.]
  
  Fast forward to March of 2025. I was sitting in a friend's living room getting caught up after a long time, and our conversation settled on one of my favorite verses. It's truly remarkable:
  
  If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
  Colossians 3:1-4 (ESV)
  
  And then it happened just today. This thing fell on me out of nowhere—weeks afterward—as I consider Christ's death this Good Friday. I had an opportunity to write, and turned out to be Eukairos. (That's a very useful Greek word, by the way. Now THAT’s a rabbit hole worth going down.)

  Yes, this is not that amazing bit of writing I did a year ago which only God got to read. This is something a little different. Not better, but right.
  
  Guess God had it all backed it up to the cloud with the rest of me, "hidden with Christ in God."
  
  Jason Christopher Hackwith
  April 18th, 2025